Biggest fear about homeschooling

[MellowYellow]

Okay I know this sounds ridiculous, but my biggest fear about homeschooling is that my kids won't have any friends. I know there are lots of opportunities for socialization while homeschooling, but I just worry it won't be enough. I just joined a homeschooling group and they have a once a week park day and fieldtrips. My son just started soccer and I am also going to put him in karate and swim lessons. I just feel like it is not enough. I always question if I am doing the right think by homeschooling my children. I don't want to fail them and I don't want them to go through life not experiencing the joy of great friendships.

 

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

[The Girls' Mom]

They will make friends :)

 

We moved to a new state this year where we knew exactly 0 people. I found a homeschool group that meets once a week. My kids have a ton of friends now, and some of them are very close. They get together at least once a week, sometimes more. Don't discount family. My daughters best friends are their cousins. And that was the case while they were still in PS 3 years ago.

 

My biggest fear? That I'll miss teaching them something important. (although this is truly unrealistic...we all have gaps that are easily filled in when/if needed)

 

What do I love? The relationships my kids have are real. They are on a different level than the many superficial ones they had while in PS. And our family is strong. We are closer as a family than we could have been otherwise.

[MellowYellow]

Thanks for the reassurance, I needed it.

 

So if your children only get together with their friends once or twice a week, do they ever get a little lonely on the days they don't or ask to see their friends more often?

[Jean in Newcastle]

A couple of years ago, my ds did an informal survey of all the kids in our neighborhood. He did it at the bus stop for a week so he could be sure he got most of the kids. (We often stopped by to talk to neighbors at the school bus stop while we took a morning walk so it wasn't a strange button-holing sort of situation.) He found that all of the ps kids reported only having one or possibly two friends. Of course they had many more acquaintances. It made all of us feel much better!:)

 

This actually was borne out by my own memories of my school years. I only had one or two friends each year. (And a couple of years, none.)

[Karen in CO]

I'll answer your questions with a question. Do you know what my 20yr homeschool graduate regrets most about going to Japan for college? He regrets that he doesn't get to spend enough time with his little sisters.

 

Your kids will make friends. More importantly, your kids will truly get to know each other.

 

Enjoy them.

[MellowYellow]

Thanks everyone.

 

Karen that is so sweet. I think about how close my three boys will get and it makes me happy.

[kwickimom]

My DD has 3 very good friends. One she never went to school with, we are friends with the girls parents. One she went to school with, but asked over because they hung out in Girl Scouts. And one is in a grade under her, but she met her at our moms playgroup when she was 3.

 

All 3 of her good friends she didnt pick up in ps. She did have a few other friends in ps (we just pulled her this year in 3rd grade) but they werent her real good friends.

 

Your child will meet friends without ps. Outside activites and playgroups will net the same amount of friends as school, and this way you get to be selective because you will probably know them all too.

 

In ps they can find a friend in their class, and the next year that friend may not be in their class. Just because they are in class all day with the same people also does not guaruntee friendships anyways.:D

[Abigail4476]

Okay I know this sounds ridiculous, but my biggest fear about homeschooling is that my kids won't have any friends. I know there are lots of opportunities for socialization while homeschooling, but I just worry it won't be enough. I just joined a homeschooling group and they have a once a week park day and fieldtrips. My son just started soccer and I am also going to put him in karate and swim lessons. I just feel like it is not enough. I always question if I am doing the right think by homeschooling my children. I don't want to fail them and I don't want them to go through life not experiencing the joy of great friendships.

 

When I first started homeschooling, this was one of my biggest concerns, too! :) (And it's still the most often-raised objection to hsing that I hear from other people.) I agree that having friends is important; however, I don't agree that they need to acquire or maintain those relationships by hanging out with a huge number of peers for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week.

 

To answer your question, my kids have maintained friendships with a select few of the kids they befriended in public school via phone calls, texting, fb and email. They still invite them over for birthday parties, are invited to their houses for playdates, etc. Not their entire list of classmates, of course--just the close friends.

 

In addition to having those friends, they have friends at church who they see on a regular basis, friends they've made playing sports, friends they've met at summer camps, and friends they've made from meeting other homeschooling families.

 

There's no shortage of kid-interaction with hsing unless you set it up to be a closed, exclusive environment. We've made sure to help our kids stay in contact with the friends they care about.

 

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

 

During the school year, they're limited to one overnight stay per month, except for their birthday month. We make occasional exceptions, but in general I'm a stickler for this rule because I don't want their schedules filled up completely. In the summertime, they usually have friends over or go to friends' houses every weekend.

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

 

I consider socialization to be much deeper than just teaching my children how to interact with their peers. They need to be able to interact successfully with adults and younger children as well. Homeschooling is the perfect environment for those lessons. My kids interact with more confidence and courtesy than many of their publicly schooled friends. That's a parenting issue--not an environment issue. Don't coddle your kids. They can order their own food at restaurants, speak to sales associates in the store, pay for their own purchases at the checkout, speak to their pastor on Sundays, talk to the guy who rents our field for his cows, talk to their neighbors, etc. The trick is to not speak for your children all the time, and to gently push them into interacting with people in new situations. Quite frankly, it's about as difficult as socializing a new puppy. LOL!!!! It's about exposure and training. (Okay, don't kill me for that comparison.):D

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

 

Yes--mostly about whether my kids will really appreciate it or whether they will resent it. However, if they become adults and all they have to resent is the fact that I educated them at home, then I will have zero regrets.

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

 

I can't think of anything I truly fear.

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

 

I love everything about it--the one-on-one attention my kids get when they need help; the flexibility to design education to suit their individual needs; my freedom to assess their progress along the way and allow them to slow down or zip through a subject; the emphasis on family and the greater appreciation that has developed in our home for one another since we began hsing; fostering a love of learning in my children...I could go on forever, and I'm sure I'm not the only one in this forum who could ramble on endlessly! :tongue_smilie:

 

One of my greatest rewards was about one quarter into our first year, when my youngest daughter turned to me one day and said, referring to our new endeavor, "You know Mommy, I even FEEL smarter."

 

I understood exactly what she was trying to convey. When you approach learning in creative, customized, challenging ways, kids open up and blossom and their minds expand and they will amaze you!

[Abigail4476]

I'll answer your questions with a question. Do you know what my 20yr homeschool graduate regrets most about going to Japan for college? He regrets that he doesn't get to spend enough time with his little sisters.

 

Your kids will make friends. More importantly, your kids will truly get to know each other.

 

Enjoy them.

 

That's such a cute pic. :)

 

I love how close our family has gotten since we started hsing. It's a huge benefit.

[texasmama]

How often do your kids hang out with their friends? At least once at homeschool co op and 1-2 times per week at church.

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization? Nope, not at all.

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling? Sometimes I wonder if I can juggle everything I am juggling, but I have two part-time jobs in addition to homeschooling.

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling? Latin? :tongue_smilie:

 

What do you love most about homeschooling? My kids are each other's best friends. We are a close family. There aren't a lot of other influences in their lives which I have to work to counteract. I can choose a way of approaching subjects that my kids love. They are very interested in history and love math. I can't say that I felt at all that way when I attended public school.

[sadiegirl]

well, your fear is our reality as my two boys do not have any close friends here where we live.

Their friends tend to be long-distance and family---which is good in so many ways. However, I would like for them to have some boys their ages here to hang with. We have recently found a church we really like and they have a middle school youth as well as high school so we are hoping to find some connections there.

My kids are great kids and very happy---it is more of an issue to me as a mom that they have friends here.

[anneofalamo]

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

Every afternoon, and then after dinner! They are not in the middle of a drama that exploded from school, just play!

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

We socialize with others, at our house, at the store, at parks, my kids are the first to go and say, hey I'm so and so, wanna play?

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

I do have doubts, until I look at the face of them getting something that was hard and they conquer it...like watching them learn to walk all over again! I was there!

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

Missing some key ingredient. But~it is a small fear I try not to feed!

 

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

my kids closeness to each other and how much our families have grown closer!

I also love the vacations we do, and quick field trips, just us...to learn outside our home!!

[Tess in the Burbs]

Don't stress over this. Join the local hs groups, the yahoo groups, the connection groups. Post you want kids your kids ages and have people over!

 

We just moved and have met so many people so fast here....we have more playdates in a week then we ever had living where we were in 6 years!!!

 

In fact, I was worried b/c we couldn't do sports this fall and now I am glad so we can play every day. YES, every day we have playdates planned. And we have more people we want to get together with.

 

And I worried moving would take awhile to make friends :tongue_smilie:

[Joyofsixreboot]

I worry about this. Alot. The local homeschool scene is very small (rural area) and unless you play sports for them there's not much they provide. My kids play sports and are in scouts and while they get along and have fun I wish they had the kind of friendships I had as a kid. A best friend or two that you hang out with all the time, KWIM? My 6yo dd especially longs for a best friend and daily interaction but the other parents frankly, don't care to make any effort for kids to get together. That's why they send them to school and daycare.

[radiobrain]

Well, I worry a lot about socialization, but not at all about socializing.

 

;)

[alpidarkomama]

Sounds like plenty to me. :) We just do our learning time, have a friend over sometime during the week, and on Saturday (sabbath) my kids play with their friends all afternoon. Sundays sometimes we do an outing with another family. We do field trips with a local secular homeschool group, but not the regular get-togethers/social time there. There are no other religious Jews homeschooling here, so we're it!

 

More important, I think, is what the child receives from their own family. I'd much rather they be parent/family-oriented than peer-oriented. They don't learn good behavior from other kids; that comes from the family where such behavior is consistently role-modeled. My children are very content with the friends they have and the things they do with them.

 

It's also interesting to read how children have spent their time in other eras. Definitely more of an emphasis on one's family than one's childhood (pre-adolescent) peers.

 

For me, too, two or three good friends makes me very happy, plus the many friendships we have with other families in our religious community and feeling a strong sense of belonging and community there. We really are quite content, love our friends, and have a good time learning. :)

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

 

They play with neighborhood and/or family friends 2-3 times a week. They play with their best friends (each other) every day. :001_smile:

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

 

Not anymore. Like you, this used to be my biggest concern about homeschooling. I had a fabulous time in school! I just loved it, from K through college. I had a high level of academic and social success. Based on my own experience, I initially worried that I was depriving my kids of that same joy. However, despite getting good grades, I retained very little (really only the stuff I actually cared about enough to remember). I worked only for grades and to be lauded as successful. All these years later, I wish I had received an actual education, not just the appearance of one. In the end, knowing that I could provide my children with a better education than they would receive in school trumped all my concerns about socializing.

 

I highly recommend Hold on to Your Kids and The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling. They put my fears to rest. Solidly.

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

 

Doubt isn't the right word. My current struggle is with finding balance but I'm getting closer every day. Daily quiet time is essential for my sanity.

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

 

The higher levels of math and science.

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

 

How close it makes our kids and our family. The learning lifestyle that we have that is so unlike what most modern kids have at home.

 

Your kids will make friends. More importantly, your kids will truly get to know each other.

 

:iagree:

 

One thing I notice is that when kids come around to play, they never come around with their siblings. Even when they're fairly close in age, it's like they have completely separate lives. Obviously, some separation is healthy (and my kids aren't obsessively attached at the hip or refusing to play without their siblings in tow every time), but I think it is very sad and telling when brothers and sisters don't see each other as friends and playmates because they're a year or two (or more) apart in age. That gap is huge in school but not at home. :001_smile:

Edited September 7, 2010 by Alte Veste Academy

[Rosie_0801]

Ok, so it is common knowledge that my kids are only tots, but that doesn't usually stop me chatting on here so I'm chatting :)

 

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

Well, being that my eldest is a mostly non-verbal and not particularly sociable, being a rather independent soul, she doesn't have any friends yet. We go to playgroup weekly, have a fortnightly play date with my friend and her kids and have started going to a monthly homeschooler meetup. That's enough for us atm.

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

Nope. Nearly all of my worthwhile socializing as a kid happened outside of school. Best friends from the day we were born type friends are only granted to a lucky few, I think, and I'm not one of them so feel no pressure to make my kids one of those lucky few.

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

Sure. Our school is called Couchtop College because I used to despair that my daughter would ever come down to ground level long enough for me to teach her anything. Fortunately this has proved incorrect, but I do put a lot of effort into putting into words why I think they kids should learn what I have planned. I suspect Miss Independence will require that information as she gets older, and, well, I'd be disappointed if she accepted "because" as a good reason.

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

That they will need to learn in ways that I can't wrap my head around properly (though I expect someone on here will be able to explain it) or they'll respond best to techniques that bore me to death and require me to spend lots of time doing horrible fiddly things. Flashcards, the making and the use of, urgh. I'd rather clean toilets.

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

Well being that we're only doing totschool, what I love most is they are ok with Daddy coming and going to work because they are secure knowing I'm always around here. And even if I do go out, they don't fuss because Dad is there and they know I'm coming back. And I love that because I know what we've been doing, I can tell dh. I think it really sucks for men to go off and work all day to support a family they hardly know, and only get "What did you do today?" "Uh? Oh, nothin' much" whenever they ask. I don't think my hubby would really appreciate the info I provide unless it stopped, but I think it is good for him. I think it helps make him part of our family unit even though he has to spend so much time outside of it.

 

Rosie

Edited September 7, 2010 by Rosie_0801

[cjbeach]

How often do your kids hang out with their friends? every day

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization? I did. For the past 7 years we lived in a subdivision of mostly retirees and socialization was an issue. My dd was desperate for friends, she loves her brothers, but wanted more friends. We somewhat filled that need at co-op, but not enough for her liking. My dd did suffer some I have to admit (not the popular opinion I know) but my dd was sad, she needed/wanted all of the little girls around her at 6yo. Everytime my dd saw another little girl, regardless of where we were, she would almost be on top of the girl trying to play. It was a pretty big indicator (major red flashing lights "help, I need friends"). We moved a 5 months ago into a neighborhood with kids coming out of the woodwork and it has been the biggest blessing for so many reasons.

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling? I do. When we had children I had no doubt they would be going to some fabulous prep school up North. Then we relocated to FL, my ds was dx'd, and we could not find a comparable private school locally for the younger 2. We tried the miserable PSs here, pulled the kids from PS, and have homeschooled since. But I look at the sites of the prep school(s) I *thought* my kids would be going to and am very, very sad that they are not there. I'm not capable of teaching to the degree that the specialty teachers there are. I am one person with 2 arms and a near-empty wallet, unfortunately. Again, not the popular opinion but ...

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling? That they are suffering academically due to our choice to homeschool, though I think my children are getting a fabulous education at home and we outsource when we can. But I look at some of the schools I thought they were going to go to and well, in all honesty, their education seems inferior to that. But who knows for sure.

 

What do you love most about homeschooling? I love my kids home with me. I love this time, I know it's precious and fleeting...

Edited September 8, 2010 by cjbeach

[Peela]

I dont think you are silly at all being concerned about it- it was also my biggest concern when we started homeschooling. And, even though there were many homeschooling activities when we began....it still took a lot of work on my behalf to connect in to the right ones and get to the point where my kids actualyl had homeschooled friends- peopel we coudl invite over for playdates, and who woudl invite them. Since they had been at schol, they were used to that intense kind of socialising that school provides, and they were both conerned themselves.

 

I did what you are doing and it was enough. We foudn that as long as they had connections several times a week- it was ok. It did have to be almost daily though. Not quite, but they needed to feel that they had something other than school to do on most days. Somehow we managed that. It was time consuming, exhausting for me at times, and sometiems expensive.

 

As the years have gone by the issue has come up at times and we have always found a way around it. My kids are both very social and extroverted beings. I have always known that for us, having enough socialisation is crucial. Scouts has been the main social vehicle for several years now, and recently they have really clicked into their casual gymnastics class and everyoen there (all teens) has become quite close and started socialising together too. My kids have homeschooled friends...but we no longer attend any homeschool specific activities.

 

Once they get older...they will really appreciate the freedom to have good friendships - to have time for good friendships- while their school friends are busy with homework. My dd16 has friends in school who are so envious of her amazing lifestyle, the number of camps she goes on and interesting things she has time to do. SHe now values it- wheras a year ago she was wanting to go to school.

 

I would take the issue seriously...but if you do put in the effort and there are homeschool groups around...you will be fine. While we hoemschoolers tend to dismiss the socialisation issue....I think it is more because we know our kids are very capable socially, generally speaking...they can interact easily with peopel of all ages- so learning social skills is not the issue. But sometimes, having enough social opportunities and having friends CAN be an issue, and one we sometimes dont talk about enough.

 

D14 has friendsin the street he plays with every day. Without that, he may not be content at home. Dd16 does not see her freidns every day but she sees them enough. ANd both now have Facebook and email to stay connected.

[Hedgehog]

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

 

Neighborhood kids - pretty much every fine day; church friends - at Sunday School and occasional playdates; friends from other activities (ballet etc.) - occasional playdates

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

 

I don't.. my kids are friendly, they enjoy being with people of all ages. They're also quite happy to play together at home, or spend time alone doing their own thing.

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

 

Yes, but it's usually because my Mum or sisters are harping on about how brilliant their schools are; it feeds the worry meister in my head. Then I go back to my dh and he puts me straight, and I see my dc and think.. they're fine. We're fine. :001_smile:

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

 

Getting curriculum which is wrong for us and wasting money and time. I guess it's an almost inevitable occupational hazard, though - probably everyone has done it at some point.

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

 

Where to start?! I love having my dc with me - they are the best (and I'm not biassed :D); I love when the educational penny drops for them, especially when it's something they were struggling with; I love my dc's enthusiasm for pretty much anything, and the hilarious and also profound things they say; I love the fact that they get along really well (most of the time), are usually well behaved and people comment on it when we are out - that helps reassure me that I'm doing something right! I could go on and on but you get the picture. ;)

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think you also need to consider your own children's needs and wants along the way.

 

If your kids WANT friends, whether one or two or a whole slew of them, they'll get friends as long as you don't lock them in the closet (I've only known one homeschooling family who basically did that). However, if they don't, then trying to force it upon them will be just as damaging as locking them in the closet. If your kids WANT to do various activities, GREAT! Enjoy! We've been apart of all sorts of neat classes, sports, groups, the congregation, etc. My kids enjoyed them. My son tended to make friends while my daughter couldn't care any less (though she's made a few friends along the way; it just looks different with her).

 

BTW, my kids are 15 and 18. If I could have done anything differently along the way, it would be to worry a lot less.

[rhrice3]

First of all, I love home schooling and have done it now for 13 years. At the beginning, we were not part of a group, but my kids had lil friends from the neighborhood and church. They made their special friends, and I never questioned whether they had one special friend or three or more. Also, my husband's job allows him to be at home during days, and my ds has grown up thinking that his dad is one of the coolest friends he has and still does (he's a senior in public school now). We traveled when we wanted, we hiked when Dad was off, we planned our school year around big trips to Europe or Central America, building a house, moving 10 years later out of state, etc. During all this time, my kids continued to make friends in different places - orchestra, USA swim team, church, youth group, dance, etc. I can say that I have honestly NEVER disapproved of any of their friends. They have grown up knowing what "true" friendship means and what it is worth.

 

All that said, my older two decided to go to public high school when we moved to SW Florida. My ds, a junior, and my dd, a freshman, walked into a 1700 body public high school, and it took lil time for them to make friends - nice friends. I feel like they have chosen wisely over the years, and I feel good about sending them out into the world.

 

You know, when kids are lil, just let them be themselves and happy. My son spent hours alone in our woods building forts with our dog - he was happy. My daughter spent hours dressing and redressing American Girl dolls - she was happy. You will know what is best for your children, and sometimes it will be just being with Mom and Dad and knowing that someday as they grown up, they will call you "friend" as well as Mom/Dad.

No worries

ReneeR

[MamaSheep]

Okay I know this sounds ridiculous, but my biggest fear about homeschooling is that my kids won't have any friends. I know there are lots of opportunities for socialization while homeschooling, but I just worry it won't be enough. I just joined a homeschooling group and they have a once a week park day and fieldtrips. My son just started soccer and I am also going to put him in karate and swim lessons. I just feel like it is not enough. I always question if I am doing the right think by homeschooling my children. I don't want to fail them and I don't want them to go through life not experiencing the joy of great friendships.

 

I had very few good friendships until I was out of school. I lived in a very small community, and the other kids my age decided early on that I was to be "the target". There was only one class of each grade in my school, and no other schools for at least 60 miles. I don't know that homeschooling would have made things any better, though, as it was the same kids in my neighborhood that picked on me at school. There wasn't anywhere to go to get away from them. It's possible I'd have spent less time being morbidly miserable, however, if I was at home while they were at school, and I wonder sometimes if that might have been a good thing for me. I had two or three friends, more sequentially than together, and none of them ended up being long-lasting relationships. The point being, school was not a good experience for me, friendship-wise. So putting them in school is no guarantee that kids will have "the joy of great friendships". My best friendships happened in college (2000 miles from where I grew up, where I went partly because there was zero chance there of EVER running into ANY of the kids I grew up with) and in my adult life at work, church, and in the neighborhood after I finished my schooling.

 

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

 

Dd hangs with her little posse of neighbor girls pretty much every day after school. Ds has a friend over maybe once every week or two, but he HAS two whole entire friends now, who come over, and invite him to their homes--which is two more friends than he had in public school. And he is on good terms with a couple more boys at church, who I think he's trying to work up the courage to invite over. (Before, the only kids he even knew the names of at school or church were the ones who bullied him. In some ways he takes after his mom, poor kiddo.) He struggles with social things because of his autism, and is very introverted, but his socialization has actually improved dramatically since leaving public school (ask anyone who's known him since then--seriously, we get comments from neighbors and extended family about this all the time).

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

 

Yes. Especially since there are so many "experts" out there, including some of the people who help run our autism support group, telling me that he cannot possibly learn proper social skills at home and "kids like him" need to be in a school environment interacting with other adults and with same-age peers. I have to sit myself down regularly and remind myself of how really bad his "progress" was when he WAS in a school environment, and how dramatically better he is at home. Also, that he interacts with many more adults other than his parents now, when we regularly take him to stores, restaurants, museums, parks, tours, the bank, post office, library, etc. than he would at school, and that he will not spend his whole life in a room full of same-age peers. I also have a "canned" response when the "experts" in my life say, "but what about socialization?" That is, "Dd seems to be doing fine, and ds is not going to socialize "normally" regardless of the setting in which he's being educated."

 

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

 

Every August.

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

 

I think my biggest fear is that I won't do a good enough job, and my kids' educations won't be "good enough" to get them what they want/need in life. Half the time I really feel like I don't actually know what I'm doing. It's getting better though, with time and practice. I often wish I'd started sooner so I'd have had more practice by the time they got to this age. But then having those years of public school sitting there in the background gives me something to compare to, as well, and makes me feel better about how we're doing.

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

 

I love seeing my kids grow and learn and make actual progress. They didn't do that much in a traditional school setting and that was frustrating for them (because they felt incompetent and overwhelmed) and for me (because I knew they really were capable and it hurt to see them fail and suffer over it). School is just not built for kids like these. Homeschooling was not my first choice, and honestly if there were another viable option I would probably take it, but I love that we CAN homeschool, things being what they are. I love hearing my son laugh again, and learning to have friends. I love hearing my daughter finally learning how to read--and enjoy it. I love the friendship and camaraderie I see developing between the two of them. I think that will become even more important as they get older, and they were both too stressed from school to get there before. I don't know. I'm still convinced that homeschool is not the best educational placement for EVERY child, but it has really been a wonderful thing for our family.

[MellowYellow]

Thanks, all of theses comments have really helped me.

[ma23peas]

How often do your kids hang out with their friends?

 

At least once a month kids are spending the night over here, we're camping with our scouting troops, they have youth group at church/socials, they do week summer camps with their friends, they do community service projects monthly with friends, they have dance class twice weekly with friends, scout meetings weekly, writing class weekly, art class weekly, that doesn't even include speech/debate club/B.E.S.T. robotics competitions/science olympiad and other events we do yearly....

 

Does anyone else worry about socialization?

 

There's a verse I love to repeat to myself, "Do not be anxious for anything"....anytime I have a concern, God seems to answer that...this year I was concerned b/c my son LOVES speech and debate, but his chemistry class was on the same day, we'd have to take a semester off and I worried about his hanging with friends at s/d...but God brought in this writing class, now my son has 23 kids he hangs with every Friday and they can shoot basketball/chat on their study hall hour...socialization is a false concept....if you look back at the history of 'education' it is only in the past 120 years that we've seen such institutional settings...so were all the children before 1870 not socialized?

 

Do you ever have doubts about homeschooling?

 

No...again the anxious verse helps here...anywhere I have felt lacking, God always brings the right program/co-op/opportunity to fill that area...I've been AMAZED at His providence!! AMAZED!!

 

 

What do you fear most about homeschooling?

 

That I don't get too consumed with academics to forget to add that joy factor in...sometimes you get caught up in crossing your t's and dotting your i's that you miss the incredible life filling in around you....I try hard to take advantage of moments not to be missed...

 

What do you love most about homeschooling?

 

No time wasted...or very little...no busy work, once they've mastered a concept, we can move on! Or if they really want to dive deeper and stick on a subject, we CAN!! I've read more books aloud than I probably read in my entire life!! (I was top in my class...a shame I cliff'd noted a lot!)Those experiences I wouldn't trade for the world! I would have a tough time dealing with the nonsense I see happening in schools today...I used to be in sales and if I did not believe in my product (pharmaceuticals) I could NOT sell it....I do believe that many get a good education...but the path there is not as direct/rewarding as it could be...I strive to give my kids a more fulfilling path.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Oh no, I'm MUCH more freaked out about the shear volumes of things I can royally mess up than their socialization opportunities! LOL Sometimes I wake up at night from a nightmare that I have completely messed up school and be in a full blown panic that I'm not good enough. :) Ok, not quite that bad but pretty darn near. I have to guard myself against reading the posts of the genius children on here because I try to measure us up to each and every subject on them and it creates pandemonium in my brain. All children can not be perfect in all subjects...repeat again and again.

[TKDmom]

Do I worry about socialization?

 

Sort of. The kids in our neighborhood are not nice, so my children rarely play with them. We have friends over from church once or twice a week. I wish my dd had more friends over regularly. My really good friends have boys, and sometimes I feel bad that she doesn't play with girls her age as often as she would like. She is getting good at playing with boys, though. ;)

 

I do worry about some of the skills that kids learn at school, like sitting still and waiting your turn. I know that sounds silly. But we went to a class at our local zoo this week, and my dd would not stay in her seat. I was really annoyed with her. She told me she's "not a sitting down kind of person." I told her, "I don't care! You still need to be polite and stay in your seat when the teacher is speaking. And don't touch all her things, unless you have permission." Maybe I'm being too uptight, but that's the sort of thing I worry about.

 

I love how much time my dc have to play since we started homeschooling. My dd used to some home from school exhausted and grumpy, and unwilling to play with her brothers. Now they all make up elaborate pretend games all day. It's fun to watch. I was an only child, and those kind of elaborate pretend games were my favorite things to do as a kid.

[Pretty in Pink]

I think my kids not having friends is one of my bigger concerns. Then I have to stop and remind myself that I didn't have many friends, and I attended public school for 13 years. I think a child's personality is a strong indicator of the types and number of friendships they will have. I don't think where they go to school has much to do with it at all.

[littlebug42]

I am way more afraid of them getting an education than I am friends. My daughters are each other's best friend and that is where they spend the bulk of their time. They have girl scouts several times of a month where they have friends that they see but we don't really see them outside girl scouts that often. We go other places but I don't spend much time with playdates. There are no children in the neighborhood and I don't have a problem with that. We also have a group of close friends with kids that they see at least monthly. I had a lot of friends when I was a child and honestly, it didn't lead anywhere good. I think it is more important to be able to live and function happily within your own family. My dh and I also spend most of our "friend" time with each other.

[HeidiKC]

I just began homeschooling this year, so I'm no expert. But my experience from when my oldest son was in school was that I felt I needed to make an effort to have playdates fairly regularly (one every other week at least) for him to REALLY feel good about friendships, if that makes sense. I mean he did make friends at school, but I don't think he was really able to build up the friendships or get to know someone at school as well as he could "off-site" and/or more one-on-one.

 

So it seems to me that as long as you make sure that in addition to hs groups, karate, whatever... that (while the kids are young) you plan to arrange for them to get together frequently with friends (from their various groups), have kids over, etc. outside of your school time, then they'll have plenty of opportunity for making friends.

 

My son has not missed school one bit for social reasons. He still plays sports and does scouts with those kids and has a friend over once/week. Plus lots of neighbors. I don't think it's something you need to worry about (but I totally get it!).

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I think that you make friends by being friendly, interested and involved with other people. This may happen at school. Or school may be a hothouse of competition, cliques and other drama.

 

My kids have several friends. They may or may not be exactly their age. A couple are homeschooled, but most are not. These are boys who are in scouts, soccer or just neighbors. My kids would be hanging out with their friends daily if I let them (I don't). However, we live in a high density military base where going to play may mean just going up a floor or down the block. I worry about my kids being socialized. But what I mean is that I worry that they will be honest and trustworthy, yet realize that not everyone else is. That they will be generous and loyal friends who are wise enough not to let others take advantage of them. And I worry that my son really will try to stuff half a piece of french toast in his mouth in front of someone who matters. What I don't worry about is that my kids will miss some key bit of socialization because they aren't attending public school. You may learn a lot of survival skills, especially those that involve hiding your talents so you don't stand out; but I doubt the quality and quantity of good socialization that goes on there.

 

Of course I have doubts about homeschooling. I think that people doubt what they are doing all the time in all sorts of areas of their lives, from careers to relationships with family to where they live. Homeschooling requires a lot of effort. And the sucess or failure tends to rest on my shoulders. I don't doubt that it is a good choice for us. I do sometimes doubt that I'm doing enough (sometimes on examination I am and sometimes there is an area where I should work harder).

 

I think the friend thing depends a lot on your area and on your kids' ages. My kids didn't really have close friends until about 3rd grade. We've also moved frequently, as do our friends. So often our friendships either only last a couple of years or have to weather long distances apart. I tend to concentrate on like minded families, but not focus on just families who homeschool or share a church or are in sports or scouts with us.