I am changing the way I homeschool.

[cin]

We have always pushed for rigorous curriculum. Our dd8 is very smart. Her IQ is gifted, and she started reading at 3 1/2. My 5 yo is pretty smart too, but she's the baby and knows it. So she is hiding the fact that she can read. :D

 

*I* am dropping the rigorous curriculums. We took a 2 week spring break and had SO. MUCH. FUN. I am enrolling the girls in a co-op next year, for 1 day a week, with some 'fun' classes. We are taking at least 1 field trip a month next year. And we are not going to push through our books. We do not have to do every page of our books, and we do not always need to do written work every day.

 

I am not unschooling, but I am going to greatly loosen the reigns. And we are going to have FUN and enjoy ourselves. And develop and strengthen our relationships. If we miss a day of math, the world will NOT end.

 

<deep sigh of relief>

[8filltheheart]

We have always pushed for rigorous curriculum. Our dd8 is very smart. Her IQ is gifted, and she started reading at 3 1/2. My 5 yo is pretty smart too, but she's the baby and knows it. So she is hiding the fact that she can read. :D

 

*I* am dropping the rigorous curriculums. We took a 2 week spring break and had SO. MUCH. FUN. I am enrolling the girls in a co-op next year, for 1 day a week, with some 'fun' classes. We are taking at least 1 field trip a month next year. And we are not going to push through our books. We do not have to do every page of our books, and we do not always need to do written work every day.

 

I am not unschooling, but I am going to greatly loosen the reigns. And we are going to have FUN and enjoy ourselves. And develop and strengthen our relationships. If we miss a day of math, the world will NOT end.

 

<deep sigh of relief>

 

Good for you! If this is the other side of the railroad tracks.....welcome!!! :D

[ondreeuh]

We have done the same. I didn't think I was being particularly rigorous, but I was pushing my son ahead at a faster pace than he was ready for. We have recently relaxed a whole bunch and are not only having a lot more fun, but my son is learning better now that he's more relaxed.

 

It can feel very weird to back off and "do less" (although in other ways you do MORE!). I think the key is having expectations that are appropriate for their overall development - not just academic but also emotional.

[Carol in Cal.]

Let me just caution you, though, that IMO it's a mistake to place all the 'fun' elsewhere and all the 'work' at home. That's a recipe for having children not want to be home at all.

[HappyGrace]

Yes, ENJOY those young years!!! Mine aren't much older (10 and 7) but we've gone quite rigorous too, and for the fall we're backing off some on "schooliness" to enjoy the ride. As my older is going into 5th grade, I realize that high school is on the horizon, and I only really have 7 1/2 yrs left with her-I want to squeeze all the joy possible into our time together!

 

It is hard when they are advanced (mine are too) because you jump on the train and try to maximize their learning. Now I'm looking at it like, yay, we're ahead, so let's just do some enjoyable learning! We're going to have fun meandering through TOG-with lots of projects, which they love and I never do-and field trips and hands-on, etc.! We will still actually be rigorous, but in a completely different and more enjoyable way.

 

Enjoy your year!

Edited April 10, 2010 by HappyGrace

[Embassy]

Good for you!

 

Some would consider me rigorous, but my kids spend a lot of time in school because we do lots of hands-on learning and activities.

[shinyhappypeople]

Good for you, OP! I've been on the fence a lot lately, and I've finally sold myself (thanks to many posters here!) on chilling out and letting DD be little.

 

 

If the academics come easily, catching up will be no problem. But, you only get to be 5 (or 6 or 7....) once.

 

I think the key is having expectations that are appropriate for their overall development - not just academic but also emotional.

 

Yup.

 

I've been thinking about this sentence: I have a gifted five year old.

 

Which part of that sentence should I emphasize?

 

I have a gifted five year old.

 

I have a gifted five year old.

[lovemykids]

Bravo! Bravo and kudos to you, Mom. This is a precious gift you have, time with your children, no need to ruin it by stressing out over early academics and keeping up with the WTM Joneses. There is a necessity to have some days that would be considered rigorous, in order to keep them moving forward. But there really is no need to finish every little thing in every program. Why should we fear the homeschool police? We are able to perceive when our child is in need of extra practice in an area. We shouldn’t be slaves to curricula, we are home-educators, and private tutors! In public school they have times when they do not get a chance to finish programs or they modify them, we should as well. I doubt that tutors use every single page in a book-there simply isn’t time for that. We need to look at the materials as a whole and extract what we need.

 

Children can sometimes learn much faster when they are self-motivated and when they explore a topic on their own. We have to "keep up" with them and make sure they are using their time wisely, but getting them interested in educational areas isn't that difficult.

As Janice has said for many years, “Enjoy your little people. Enjoy your journey.†So true, we should enjoy them, and that may mean finding creative ways to teach our children. Some call it unschooling or relaxed; some do CM or eclectic; some gravitate towards LCC; some simply call it their version of WTM. The method we use, or what we choose to call ourselves, is not important. The important thing is that we tailor the curriculum for our children and try not to be too dogmatic in our approach.

Have fun!

[LibraryLover]

:) Enjoy the journey. Enjoy each other.

 

There is so much to discover together.

 

I am not a pure unschooler either, but there is a lovely middle ground that feels right to quite a lot of us.

Edited April 10, 2010 by LibraryLover

[coffeefreak]

YOU GO GIRL!!!!

 

I too am a reformed rigorous mom. OK, I try to be, but it rears it's ugly head every once in a while. :lol:

 

Blessings!

Dorinda

[Guest]

Hurrah -- good for you. Rigorous does not have to mean pinning your nose to your workbook every day!

 

I became a reformed homeschooler quite early on, for two reasons: 1) my gifted child almost immediately had so many ideas about how to do things and what else we could do with them that it was silly not to let her just follow her enthusiasms and questions; and 2) she had vision and fine motor problems that forced me to search for non-workbook, non-writing based materials. We parted ways from textbooks and workbooks quite early on as a result and have never looked back. Our curriculum was heavy on books, because my daughter loves to read and be read to; but otherwise it was heavily based on endless talking, games, hands-on activities of all kinds, and projects. It wasn't until around age eleven or twelve that my daughter became more comfortable with and able to write (post-vision therapy and other therapies).

 

I fought this at first because I shared the common belief that rigor was something that could only be achieved on paper and that gifted kids needed to be continually pushed to excel; it took me a while to settle down and see my daughter's difficulties as the gift they truly were, for both of us -- to allow us to be relaxed but still highly engaged, active, and ... dare I say... rigorous. Kudos to you to figuring this all out while you children are still young and you haven't yet pressured them or yourself to the point of no return!

[momto2Cs]

I too am changing the way we approach things, so I will be there right alongside you in our new explorations!

 

I have learned over the past year to back off a bit - before that we were much more intensive. However, with the more relaxed approach, it seems as though my kids have been able to open up their minds a bit more, and now they soak in far more than I even plan.

 

One of the reasons I believe in homeschooling is that we can make time for a more relaxed approach. We can explore all the little trails leading off the main path!

 

So congrats to you, and well wishes on your new journey!

[ondreeuh]

However, with the more relaxed approach, it seems as though my kids have been able to open up their minds a bit more, and now they soak in far more than I even plan.

 

This is exactly what I am experiencing as well. :cheers2:

[angela&4boys]

I am not a pure unschooler either, but there is a lovely middle ground that feels right to quite a lot of us.

 

Ditto. I'm finally finding that middle ground.

 

I have found that my dc retain so much more when they enjoy what they're learning. However, I know that there are some things that just have to be done. For example, I don't think there's any composition curriculum that my guys would get excited about. They just don't like to write. But I have found ways of making it more tolerable. They definitely don't complain as much when they're writing about a topic of interest.

 

Simply put:

 

3 R's - get'r done (considering each dc's learning style)

history and science - delight directed (to some extent) ;)

 

They naturally desire to be outside building and exploring. It's innate! So, when they get their work done, off they go. So much learning takes place when they're outdoors. Likely the equivalent, if not more, of what I painstakingly design for them via books.

[momto2Cs]

So much learning takes place when they're outdoors. Likely the equivalent, if not more, of what I painstakingly design for them via books.

 

:iagree:

[m0mmaBuck]

Ditto. I'm finally finding that middle ground.

 

I have found that my dc retain so much more when they enjoy what they're learning. However, I know that there are some things that just have to be done. For example, I don't think there's any composition curriculum that my guys would get excited about. They just don't like to write. But I have found ways of making it more tolerable. They definitely don't complain as much when they're writing about a topic of interest.

 

Simply put:

 

3 R's - get'r done (considering each dc's learning style)

history and science - delight directed (to some extent) ;)

 

They naturally desire to be outside building and exploring. It's innate! So, when they get their work done, off they go. So much learning takes place when they're outdoors. Likely the equivalent, if not more, of what I painstakingly design for them via books.

 

:iagree:

 

My son can regurgitate a year's worth of SOTW but can't seem to remember to capitalize the first word of a sentence consistantly. History, math and Science interest him. Grammar, punctuation, spelling and the like are all things he'd rather skip. But he can't! And he's starting to recognize that he has to get through them to get to the 'good stuff.'

[angela&4boys]

My son can regurgitate a year's worth of SOTW but can't seem to remember to capitalize the first word of a sentence consistantly.

 

Lol! Exactly!

[KLA]

I love to remember the advice of a wise mom given to me, "Just because they CAN doesn't mean they SHOULD."

 

Just because they can do math 3 grade levels ahead or read harder books or...., doesn't mean they should. I'm all for challenging to keep the mind strong, but it's okay to wait a year or whatever to start something.

 

Have a FUN year!

KLA

[NanceXToo]

Good for you :) I consider myself to be a fairly relaxed homeschooler. We don't spend more than 3 hours a day on "school stuff" (with my 9 y/o 4th grader), sometimes less. I'm not one for tons of busywork. Of course that doesn't mean she doesn't learn beyond that- we do plenty of 'educational' fun things together outside of the curriculum stuff.

 

But I am pretty laid back with our schedule and we try to do school around life, not life around school- we do lots of fun hands on stuff, go on lots of field trips and outings, we're very active in our homeschool group and we're always doing cool things with them, and i have no problem whatsoever saying "it's a nice day, let's go do this and get back to that later...." or "how do you want to learn this..." or "what do you want to do first..." or "what do you want to learn more about" etc.

 

Like you said, we have so much fun! I'm not stressed out, she's not miserable, we're both enjoying school, I'm giving her as much opportunity as possible to just be a kid, and I can see that she absolutely is learning, so I don't feel like I'm depriving her of anything. It works for us :) Good luck and hope you have a wonderful year!

[Georgiana Daniels]

I love to remember the advice of a wise mom given to me, "Just because they CAN doesn't mean they SHOULD."

 

Just because they can do math 3 grade levels ahead or read harder books or...., doesn't mean they should. I'm all for challenging to keep the mind strong, but it's okay to wait a year or whatever to start something.

 

Have a FUN year!

KLA

 

Oh, wow. These are words to live by!

[jld]

Sounds great!:001_smile:

[meet me in paris]

:) Enjoy the journey. Enjoy each other.

 

There is so much to discover together.

 

I am not a pure unschooler either, but there is a lovely middle ground that feels right to quite a lot of us.

:iagree: We jumped on this train a few years ago... We're much happier. :001_smile:

[Halcyon]

Good for you!! I am trying to refind the joy in just being my kids' mama, and not always their teacher--that balance is hard for me.

[momto2Cs]

3 R's - get'r done (considering each dc's learning style)

history and science - delight directed (to some extent) ;)

 

 

 

THIS approach is what I am deeply considering. I really believe my kids will learn more if they have input in what we study, a vested interest. I know always learned more easily about things was interested in, rather than simply what school required. A good foundation in the 3 R's, and a child's inquisitive mind seem to me to be the best building blocks for a good education.

[Homeschooling6]

Same here. I'm much more relaxed and not so stressed out. We take one day at a time.

[lovemykids]

Oh yeah, I just couldn't handle all the stress!! :lol:

[Jeanine in TX]

I just switched to relaxed, year-around schooling because I finally can. Up until recently, we moved every 18 mo to 2 years for my husband's job. I was always really stressed about finishing everything by the end of the school year, so I would not have to pack and teach. We plan to stay in our current home, so it no longer matters whether or not we finish by May 31.

 

Until recently, I never noticed how much my stress about this issue affected my children. Once I relaxed, they seemed to enjoy school more. Homeschooling seems less dreary and more fun.

[Peela]

Ive been like that for years now and my kids are teens. After trying really, really hard, and coming from a place of fear of failing my kids, I realised I wanted these years of our lives together to be memorable in a good way....not just mum pushing really hard, nagging, and days of drudgery! In a way, I felt it would be better if they wre at school because at least when they came home, or on weekends, we could do fun things.

I have found my way. Lots of fun. We still get school done by early afternoon.

For me the key has been regular routine and stability and consistency...but not long hours. It has worked for us.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

..

[Karis]

wow...

 

it really is important to speak the same language. I'm new here still. I never associated "rigorous" with lack of fun or creativity.

 

Are we speaking challenging curriculum, scheduling your days/ activities, or Nazi style teaching?

 

I just don't see a contradiction between pursuing a rigorous course of study and being creative, relaxed, & enjoying this journey.

 

I HAVE gotten more casual about how my towels are folded. This used to bother me a lot. I like them folded a certain way. Now I'm like ...Are they clean? Folded? Put away? I'm good.

[angela in ohio]

wow...

 

it really is important to speak the same language. I'm new here still. I never associated "rigorous" with lack of fun or creativity.

 

Are we speaking challenging curriculum, scheduling your days/ activities, or Nazi style teaching?

 

I just don't see a contradiction between pursuing a rigorous course of study and being creative, relaxed, & enjoying this journey.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I see rigorous academics/ intellectual pursuit on a different plane from whether one is rigid in their scheduling or has joy or relationship.

 

I also can't see how you can have true rigor if you aren't teaching dc to think well. You may have just had a long list of tasks, but that isn't rigor.

[LibraryLover]

:iagree:

 

You may have just had a long list of tasks, but that isn't rigor.

 

 

Oh boy, do I agree with this.

[ondreeuh]

wow...

 

it really is important to speak the same language. I'm new here still. I never associated "rigorous" with lack of fun or creativity.

 

Are we speaking challenging curriculum, scheduling your days/ activities, or Nazi style teaching?

 

I just don't see a contradiction between pursuing a rigorous course of study and being creative, relaxed, & enjoying this journey.

 

I HAVE gotten more casual about how my towels are folded. This used to bother me a lot. I like them folded a certain way. Now I'm like ...Are they clean? Folded? Put away? I'm good.

 

Absolutely, people use different definitions.

 

When I think rigorous, I immediately think stress. Always pushing ahead, always stretching and asking for much more than the child is currently doing. (Of course that can be twisted and misinterpreted, so let me be clear that I'm not saying children shouldn't be challenged, just that you shouldn't push so hard that everyone is stressed out). When someone says they are rigorous, I assume that means they are focusing on content and pushing their children ahead of grade level in ways that would be reflected on tests.

 

I tried being rigorous, and for me that meant having a stack of material that must be gotten through whether or not my son was really fully understanding and retaining the information. Teaching high-level material for "exposure" and not really considering which information was useful to him now. Saving the "gravy" like art, science experiments, and games for later and getting through the "meat" (including world history for a 3rd grader) first.

 

I'm sure other people define rigor differently, but that's where I'm coming from.

[Guest]

Most people seem to associate "rigor" with a lot of writing, drill, and exercises from workbook-based programs (math, grammar, spelling, writing) when their children are still very young (early elementary). When kids get older, the private schools, and a lot of parents, around here tend to use "rigor" to mean "we give your kids lots of homework and make them study hard for the tests so they get really good scores." In both these cases there is, for a lot of parents and kids, too little room for playing around with ideas and subjects vs. "studying" them, learning skills, or mastering facts exclusively through drill.

 

I have tried to argue in a number of posts that true rigor can equally occur through exploration and game-based learning, through a child's passionate interest in an idea or an activity (playing an instrument, finding out what ants eat, anything and everything). But for a lot of people the association with more formal, workbook-based courses of study is very strong.

[Tree House Academy]

I totally understand. We are doing a lot more CM style than WTM style these days because of the rigor and stress. It is working beautifully for my boys. :)

[Reya]

When I had DD, I cut DS back to basically handwriting, math, and reading for months.

 

It took him, on average, SIX HOURS A DAY.

 

We now have 13 "subjects" (language arts is divided into 5, so it's really 8), and he finishes in 3.5-5 hours a day.

 

Go figure.

 

Oh, and if it isn't hard enough, DS remembers NOTHING. AT ALL. It's infuriating.

[....]

When I had DD, I cut DS back to basically handwriting, math, and reading for months.

 

It took him, on average, SIX HOURS A DAY.

 

We now have 13 "subjects" (language arts is divided into 5, so it's really 8), and he finishes in 3.5-5 hours a day.

 

Go figure.

 

Oh, and if it isn't hard enough, DS remembers NOTHING. AT ALL. It's infuriating.

 

 

Don't get frustrated. :001_smile: When they're little, they're not going to remember everything. Heck, I can't remember things.

 

Does it help to mix up your schedule/curriculum a little? Change gears?