Help for the kid who thinks everything is "stupid, boring, dumb"

[msjones]

I need ideas for a little boy I tutor in reading. His attitude is extremely negative. There is, according to him, "nothing" he wants to read. He is a child who loves soccer -- and that's it. Everything else is stupid. But he doesn't like to read about soccer. Or any sports.

 

He is a 4th grader reading at about a 2nd grade level -- more or less. I'm sure his negative attitude comes from his very stressful experience at school; he feels behind all the time, every day. Poor guy.

 

I know his negativity is a defense mechanism. Nonetheless, I need to get him reading! My opinion is that he just needs a LOT of practice. A lot. So he needs books to read.

 

If you have an "everything is stupid" kid, what have you done to help him enjoy reading? Any particular books? Series? A certain type of bribe?

 

(The one thing that seemed to interest him was the story of the Titanic. He seemed to like the build-up to all that suffering and fear and dying. So, maybe I need age-appropriate books about suffering and fear and dying?)

[lionfamily1999]

Drew was this way. He loved The Phantom Tollbooth, also Alice in Wonderland (which never even tries to not be rediculous). Dahl is good too.

 

It seems to me that the books that really sucked Andrew in were either biographies about troubled boys that became great men (Einstein, Twain) or fantasy stories that didn't even try to be realistic (see above). Now, he'll read anything.

 

Also, if you do any dictation/narration work, you might want to use those to 'bait' him. I've started using books like Treasure Island, Around the World in 80 Days, White Fang, &tc and Andrew can't wait to read them ;)

[OnTheBrink]

I don't know how much help this will be, but my dd automatically thinks most books are stupid before she even reads one page. It got to the point that I just made her read things aloud to me until she got interested in the story and would read it on her own. She's never had a bad ps experience; she just absolutely hates change of any kind.

[Renee in NC]

Honestly, for my 3 dc with learning issues, anything that is hard is stupid, dumb, and boring. The negative attitude comes from not being able to grasp things easily (or at all.)

 

What has worked is to give them work that is at their level (small challenge, but not too much.) So, in your case, give him books to read that are fairly easy. Does he have a learning disability that is making reading so difficult? What have you done to remediate his problems?

 

Remediation also went a long way here to change *some* attitudes. Others just come from an allergy to hard work brought on by lots of practice at trying to get out of things because they are too hard. Unfortunately, this has conditioned him (my 12yo in particular) to shun anything that requires *any* effort.

[Closeacademy]

Have you tried comic books or graphic novels? :001_smile:

[SilverMoon]

Comic books or the Lego magazine. Or even something as dreadful as Captain Underpants?

 

An easier chapter book series that's full of boy friendly action is the Spiderwick Chronicles. There's 5 fairly slim volumes. No "suffering, fear and dying," but good hold onto your seat action and perilous situations.

[bbmom]

What about starting a book by reading a couple of chapters aloud until he is "hooked" into it? I also agree with the earlier suggestions-biographies, absurd fantasy stories, graphic novels, etc. Also, a lot of boys I know tend to prefer non-fiction, so perhaps a couple of non-fiction books about things he enjoys might work.

[Halcyon]

I recommend Mary Pope Osborne's series on the Odyssey. Misbehaving kids, a la Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, are very popular here. Calvin and Hobbes when my child wants something easier. I also recommend biographies--you might want to go 'easier' and read George Washington and his Dog, and the like. Easier can be helpful when you have a reluctant reader.

[msjones]

Have you tried comic books or graphic novels? :001_smile:

 

Yes. I was sure he would welcome those, but I was wrong. The day he rejected those was the day I knew I had a challenge on my hands.

 

I know that he's rejecting more than the books. Since he isn't my own child, I'm baffled. I've never tutored a student like him. I've had them in a regular ps class, but that was different since I wasn't individualizing anything.

[Sunshine State Sue]

Captain Underpants?

:iagree: I can't imagine any boy not loving Captain Underpants.

 

Other sports-related authors are Matt Christopher and Dean Hughes. DH wrote a 9 book series called Scrappers about a baseball team. Each book focuses on one of the players and their position. Good story, good values, overcoming adversity, etc.

 

Good luck!

[msjones]

Comic books or the Lego magazine. Or even something as dreadful as Captain Underpants?

 

An easier chapter book series that's full of boy friendly action is the Spiderwick Chronicles. There's 5 fairly slim volumes. No "suffering, fear and dying," but good hold onto your seat action and perilous situations.

 

He rejected the Lemony Snicket books last week, but I haven't tried Spiderwick.

 

He thought the Wimpy Kid stuff (yes, I've stooped that low!) was dumb.

 

He hates Legos, but I like the magazine suggestion. I may even consider letting him read from a web site.

[Halcyon]

:iagree: I can't imagine any boy not loving Captain Underpants.

 

Other sports-related authors are Matt Christopher and Dean Hughes. DH wrote a 9 book series called Scrappers about a baseball team. Each book focuses on one of the players and their position. Good story, good values, overcoming adversity, etc.

 

Good luck!

 

My son hates Captain Underpants LOL. But he does love Calvin and Hobbes!

[Poke Salad Annie]

The Hank the Cowdog series is a near riot around here. My child loves to read to me from these books, as it is too irresistible not to share in the hilarity of it all!

[msjones]

I love all of your suggestions, and own many of the things that have been mentioned. I think that when he comes today, I'm going to dump out tons of books on my living room floor and tell him he can pick.

 

We're going to have a talk about his needing practice. What I see is a child with all the tools to be a fine reader. He just never reads. His mom says she has never seen him read independently. Ever. So, he gets almost no practice.

 

He's in a school that touts itself for working a grade-level ahead in all areas. (It's our neighborhood school, and the 'we're ahead' attitude is one of the main reasons we're homeschooling.) So, he's in class with kids who probably read for hours every day outside of school. And his teacher is using 5th grade materials when he could probably be successful with 2nd grade books.

 

He can read quite fluently and with good comprehension from books at his level. But he rarely gets to do that at school. Our tutoring is supposed to be a positive time for lots of practice. But, he's outright rejecting everything.

 

My kids are nothing like this, so I'm taken aback at the extent of his negativity.

[MelanieM]

How about doing an activity of some sort and having him read you the instructions? Maybe for a recipe, a building project, a craft..?

 

Is there a video game he's interested in? Or something like Pokemon, Bakugan, etc? Maybe you could find 'cheats' for a favourite game, or some sort of guide book that explains all of the characters and their special features.

 

I think it's pretty great that you're looking for the right thing for him. Good luck!

[A.J. at J.A.]

I would definitely agree with you doing it together as a read aloud (you read a page, he reads a page) until he is "hooked". The Roald Dahl books sound right up his alley (we have really enjoyed them - they are quirky), and the Hank the Cowdog books are funny.

 

Blessings,

Angela

[MBM]

How about the Nicholas book series by René Goscinny and Jean-Jacques Sempé? It's about a mischievous but somewhat clueless boy and his friends.

 

Other books:

 

Call It Courage **

Armstrong Sperry

 

Li Lun, Lad of Courage **

Carolyn Treffinger

 

Hatchet

Gary Paulsen

 

Snow Treasure

Marie McSwigan

 

Rascal

Sterling North

 

The Pushcart War

Jean Merrill

 

Sounder **

William Armstrong

 

The Van Gogh Cafe **

Cynthia Rylant

 

Lassie Come-Home

I read this version to a class of fourth-graders in three days, and by the end of the story the kids were cheering. The illustrations are by Rosemary Wells, and the story is engrossing but not too long. It's not as well-written as the original, but it went over very well with the reluctant readers in my class.

 

Roald Dahl books and anthologies might be good, too.

 

** These are short and engaging.

[Corraleno]

I second the suggestion of Roald Dahl; it sounds like the darker stuff would really appeal to him in his current state of mind. I'd start with The Twits:

Mr. and Mrs. Twit are two of the most disgusting, nasty, and horrid characters in children's literature, from their repulsive looks (the story opens with a long, detailed description of Mr. Twit's unkempt beard) to the mean and horrible tricks they play on one another (Mrs. Twit enjoys hiding her glass eyeball in unexpected places and lacing the spaghetti with worms; Mr. Twit works for weeks to convince his wife that she has "The Shrinks")....They come to an appropriately gruesome end.

http://www.amazon.com/Twits-Roald-Dahl/dp/014241039X/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268151301&sr=1-6

 

It's hilariously funny (especially the elaborate lengths Mr. Twit goes to in convincing his wife she's shrinking) and a fairly easy read (Gr 2-4). If he likes that you can move on to some of the other Dahl books. My son was also a VERY reluctant reader, and he loved The Twits. Ultimately it was Percy Jackson and Terry Pratchett that got him to enjoy reading, but I think those are above the level your student is at.

 

I think if I was tutoring that little boy, I'd want to just spend a month hugging him and reading aloud to him. Poor guy. :(

 

Jackie

[MBM]

We're going to have a talk about his needing practice. What I see is a child with all the tools to be a fine reader. He just never reads. His mom says she has never seen him read independently. Ever. So, he gets almost no practice.

 

 

Does his family read together with him, too? We instituted a nightly, 30-minute mandatory quiet reading time together in our living room because my youngest son wanted to do everything but read. He is a very wiggly child. Now that it's a habit, he's been reading longer and much more on his own time.

 

[Pam B]

Do we have the same child?! lol

 

My son is 10, almost 11, and he moans about EVERYTHING!

It gets real old real fast!

 

Take today for example: We go to Classical Conversations afternoon grammar and writing classes on Tuesdays. For this reason, I shorten their workload. So, he moans that he has to do his Saxon lesson and test on the same day. Although everything else is super short. So ungrateful!

[nono]

I love all of your suggestions, and own many of the things that have been mentioned. I think that when he comes today, I'm going to dump out tons of books on my living room floor and tell him he can pick.

 

We're going to have a talk about his needing practice. What I see is a child with all the tools to be a fine reader.

 

 

Don't worry about his negativity. Just ignore that, as best you can. He's coping in the only way he knows how. Your idea in the first paragraph is excellent. And, what you say in the second paragraph (the part I bolded) is something I think every child would love to hear. Make sure to tell him!

 

Does his family "get" that they need to set aside reading time for him? It sounds as if they want him to "lick it off the grass" while they aren't modeling reading behavior. You may have to break the news to them that he's not going to be a reader if they don't read a lot, or if they don't read to him.

[msjones]

How about the Nicholas book series by René Goscinny and Jean-Jacques Sempé? It's about a mischievous but somewhat clueless boy and his friends.

 

Other books:

 

Call It Courage **

Armstrong Sperry

 

Li Lun, Lad of Courage **

Carolyn Treffinger

 

Hatchet

Gary Paulsen

 

Snow Treasure

Marie McSwigan

 

Rascal

Sterling North

 

The Pushcart War

Jean Merrill

 

Sounder **

William Armstrong

 

The Van Gogh Cafe **

Cynthia Rylant

 

Lassie Come-Home

I read this version to a class of fourth-graders in three days, and by the end of the story the kids were cheering. The illustrations are by Rosemary Wells, and the story is engrossing but not too long. It's not as well-written as the original, but it went over very well with the reluctant readers in my class.

 

Roald Dahl books and anthologies might be good, too.

 

** These are short and engaging.

 

These are some excellent suggestions. He is from a family of dog-lovers, so maybe the Lassie story. I've never done a Lassie book with a class!

[msjones]

I second the suggestion of Roald Dahl; it sounds like the darker stuff would really appeal to him in his current state of mind. I'd start with The Twits:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Twits-Roald-Dahl/dp/014241039X/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268151301&sr=1-6

 

It's hilariously funny (especially the elaborate lengths Mr. Twit goes to in convincing his wife she's shrinking) and a fairly easy read (Gr 2-4). If he likes that you can move on to some of the other Dahl books. My son was also a VERY reluctant reader, and he loved The Twits. Ultimately it was Percy Jackson and Terry Pratchett that got him to enjoy reading, but I think those are above the level your student is at.

 

I think if I was tutoring that little boy, I'd want to just spend a month hugging him and reading aloud to him. Poor guy. :(

 

Jackie

 

I will pick up The Twits at the library today. I just saw it there the other day, and think it may be a good beginning.

 

And, as far as wanting to just hug him -- that's just how I feel. He is under so much pressure, so much stress, and is a very unhappy little boy. He is a perfect candidate for home-schooling. I've told his mom as much, and she has considered it. Their relationship is extremely strained, so she doesn't think it would be successful.

 

I think just a year of hs, before going to middle school in 6th grade, would be a HUGE boost for him. He needs to be able to focus almost exclusively on reading. His math skills are pretty good -- at least grade-level -- so that's a bright spot for him.

 

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I actually woke up early today with this boy on my mind. I feel very concerned about him.

[Rebecca VA]

I try to hook my daughter onto literature by letting her watch the movie versions of whatever she's reading *after* the book is finished. Right now she's reading The Hobbit. We have the cartoon version ready and waiting for her! It's fun for her to see whether her mental pictures of the characters and setting match up with the movie version, and to try to catch which scenes were changed.

[Verity]

My middle son is very much the same, doesn't like to read or be read to. My older son is a good reader but outside of very specific book subjects (this is part of his Asperger's) he resists reading on his own. My husband and I are both big readers and it simply baffles me. I just started homeschooling my middle son this year (2nd grade) and I've found that for the most part it doesn't matter what book I pick. Once he's decided to be negative that's it. So instead I resorted to pure bribery at first. Read "x" amount or "x" minutes (I found I had to come up with a combination to avoid cheating and racing through) and you will receive free time for your DS, etc... After he showed me several times (over two weeks or so) that he could read and comprehend at the appropriate level it gradually phased out to this is part of his expected school work. At the same time I am still doing reading aloud and we do talk about what he reads but not every day in detail.

 

Now I "allow" him to pick out a few books at the library for his free reading time at home but he knows that I will assign a book each week for his assigned reading. The free reading has become a treat. At the beginning however it didn't matter what book I picked out (and I was willing to try almost anything at that point) - he just didn't want to read.

 

The attitude has to be addressed, it is the root issue. Once he starts practicing reading he will become a better reader with time and assistance. For a tutored child I can see this is more difficult, but it can still work with the parents assistance and buy-in. For us the approach was simply, "I know you don't like to read, that's ok, but you still have to do it. It's an important life skill." And then do what it takes to get it done. I have had to focus alot with my ex-public school kids on the fact of life that we don't always like what we have to do. I give them lots of reallife examples (washing dishes and clothes, cooking dinner for the family when I'm not hungry, etc..). Nothing fun is allowed until reading is accomplished, over time we have been able to sometimes move the reading time to other times of day when they show me that I can trust they will do it.

 

For an older child he might be able to read X amount each session to work towards a bigger goal (something he really values - going to a real pro or local soccer game? some toy or item he really wants? get the parents involved in this) and you could have mini goals that involve some free time spent outside kicking a ball, playing a computer game (even if it's an educational one! My kids have loved games from Real Arcade that are spelling/word games), a piece of candy (I know but sometimes it works, big picture here lol). Over time wean from the extrinsic reward to the intrinsic, let's hope you have the time with him!

 

Best of luck and I look forward to hearing how any of the suggestions from these wonderful ladies actually work for you!

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

My ds had loved the following:

 

Geronimo Stilton books

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=geronimo+stilton&x=11&y=21

Scooby Doo Books

 

A to Mystery Books

 

One question I have is are you sure he has a really strong foundation in phonics? Many hate reading since it is difficult for them. I am sorry if I am the master of the obvious.

Edited March 9, 2010 by priscilla

[Jamee]

Dahl worked for my son too as did Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. He is now hooked on Percy Jackson. Good luck, we hear those same sentiments here too.

[msjones]

My ds had loved the following:

 

Geronimo Stilton books

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=geronimo+stilton&x=11&y=21

Scooby Doo Books

 

A to Mystery Books

 

One question I have is are you sure he has a really strong foundation in phonics? Many hate reading since it is difficult for them. I am sorry if I am the master of the obvious.

 

Good question.

 

I've checked his phonics skills, and they seem to be there. It's applying them that he hates. If a book is at his level, he reads very nicely. I think he's been required to read above his level for so many years that he shuts down in the face of a challenge.

[Barb_]

Would he listen to audiobooks and play legos or whatnot as a compromise? Often the problem with a struggling, out of practice reader is that comprehension and interest level is ahead of decoding level. So maybe he only reads at a 2-3 grade level, but material written with that age group in mind may be too babyish.

 

Maybe you could use a picture books written at a level intended for a parent to read to a child? The interest level would be high, the pictures would help him sustain an interest, and the book would be short enough to complete in a sitting. You could even take turns reading a page to one another. Audiobooks could fill in the gap by helping him tune in to more complex sentence structure, characterization, vocabulary, and plot.

 

Barb

 

ETA an afterthought: There is so much more going on here than a boy rejecting books. I'm sure you are aware of that. How are you attempting to address the root cause? I don't know how much progress you will make until he is able to let go of some of his anger, otherwise reading a book would almost cause him to lose face, y'know?

[ElizabethB]

Good question.

 

I've checked his phonics skills, and they seem to be there. It's applying them that he hates. If a book is at his level, he reads very nicely. I think he's been required to read above his level for so many years that he shuts down in the face of a challenge.

 

Have you checked him with the MWIA? The way phonics skills are currently taught, they may appear to be there, but there are underlying problems and they are not learned to automaticity, the primary reading mode is sight words.

 

MWIA test is here, an explanation is here, "Why Johnny Doesn't Like to Read."

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

I brought my ds home from public school not knowing how to read in 2nd grade. A major help for him was reading books on Audio. My library has packages with the book and audio cd together. He would follow along in the book while listening to the audio out loud. This helped his reading level tremendously.

I agree with moms who suggested Roald Dahl and Hank the Cowdog, my son loves them (he's in 4th this year.) We also read the book and then for a treat watch the movie.

[elegantlion]

IMO, I wouldn't dump a bunch of books in front of him and ask him to choose. That's just setting him up to be defensive. My ds is delayed reluctant reader and tends to give me the "evil eye" when I remind it's time to read.

 

Some of the books already mentioned were helpful in getting ds to read. Landmark biography's were helpful as well. There are two series one is 2nd grade reading level, the others 4th grade. When ds was starting to read he liked learning about real people. Another series is "Who is the world is.___" and those are available at most book stores. DS really like the one on Albert Einsten. We did a lot of biographies on boys who didn't fit into traditional learning.

 

Einsten

Edison

Wright Brothers

 

I may have missed this, but will he let you read aloud to him? How is his comprehension of what you read to him. I know my ds has a very high comprehension , well above his reading level, so when he could only read something like Magic Tree House he was bored and thought it stupid. So we read-aloud at a much higher level.

 

I know how frustrating this can be. :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

I need ideas for a little boy I tutor in reading. His attitude is extremely negative. Poor guy.

 

I know his negativity is a defense mechanism. Nonetheless, I need to get him reading! My opinion is that he just needs a LOT of practice. A lot. So he needs books to read.

 

 

Yes, poor guy. Does he like dogs? Can you read stories to him that might pique his interest. There are some grand dog fights in Island of The Blue Dolphin and White Fang. For that age range, is Henry and Mudge too simple?

 

And, while I don't think it ranks me with the Pearls, I am very rewarding of a good attitude, but I do punish a bad one that doesn't stop after the first grouse. After pointing out it delaying us, and there is work to be done, I rarely get to the "zip your lip" stage. I tell him everyone has to do things that might seem unpleasant, and I don't burden him with my groaning and won't tolerate him carrying on at this point. I then am sure to sincerely respond with delight when he rejoins "the happy party". If I had a kid that far behind who has been (unwillingly) put into extra school work, I would consider a prize at the end he considers desirable (a new soccer ball, a how to soccer vid, a book about his fav player), and do a star chart towards it.

[Hedgehogs4]

Is there some way you could work with him by "swapping"? Perhaps read aloud to him until his interest in a particular thing is piqued and then say, well if you want to learn more, you have to read the next chapter. Bring it back to me next time and tell me what happened.

 

My son likes "Boys of Grit Who Changed the World" and his is CRAZY about the The Great Brain series by J.D. Fitzgerald. I cannot imagine a kid not liking that series. It is definitely NOT "stupid" because the kid is so smart and gets the better of everybody (but also has to face the consequences of his actions). It's a great series.

[happymom]

This is what helped my ds, a poor and reluctant reader back in the fourth grade. He listened to this audio book: Gregor The Overlander (Underland Chronicles, Book 1)

 

He loved the story and after listening to it we got the book for him to read. It was way above his reading level but since he knew the story he could figure out many of the harder words. He proceeded to go through the whole series first listening to the books and then reading them.

 

This helped increase his reading level more than all the other remedial stuff we tried. He loves to read now.

[Ali in OR]

Lots of good suggestions already. I'll just third or fourth the vote for Percy Jackson. My older dd and I were reading these when I decided to check out the audio version of The Lightening Thief from the library for the family to listen to on a car trip. My younger dd was absolutely hooked after that and had me check out The Sea of Monsters (book 2) for her to read on her own. This was by far the hardest, longest book she had ever read, but she was so motivated because she loved The Lightening Thief. She's almost finished with the whole series now (started Sea of Monsters after Christmas).

 

I would definitely spend time reading aloud to him. I might read him a chapter of The Lightening Thief every tutoring session. I would try to get him hooked on books by enjoying a wonderful story without him having to do all of the work. Just try to help him see the reward of being able to read well. And if at some point he wanted to borrow the book to read ahead at home, that would be fabulous.

 

Percy Jackson has ADHD and dyslexia and the books poke a little fun at some of the idiotic things about school--that might be attractive to your youngster.

[lea1]

The Read Aloud Handbook notes that a common reason that kids give up or don't enjoy reading is that their parents, teachers, etc. quit reading to them right at the point they are learning to read on their own.

 

Their level of comprehension is much higher than their reading level so they lose interest quickly when nobody reads to them.

 

There are so many wonderful, engaging books out there, I would be great to start out just by finding a book that would really draw him in and read it to him. Maybe you could spend a certain amount of time having him read a book at his reading level and then make sure to spend a good amount of time reading to him also.

 

I still have vivid memories of being read to by my teacher in 3rd grade (Her name was Mrs. Love:). I remember we would beg her to read just one more chapter each day....sometimes she would and sometimes she wouldn't. I believe that was one of the things that drew me into reading so strongly.