Awana frustration-inviting friends

[Jeanne in MN]

Why do Awana members invite friends to Awana and make a contest out of it? I went with my dd one time when she'd been invited and they gave a speil about coming to know Jesus and asking him into your heart, etc. So I figure that's why they are inviting kids-to help them to know the Lord. Admirable, but I don't like it being assumed my kids are in need in that area, and they make a big contest out of it. Whichever group brings the most people wins an ice cream party or whatever. How sincere is that? So moms are e-mailing or calling asking if our kids can go so their kids can win the contest.

 

It really disturbs me and I haven't felt comfortable approaching the subject with the moms. Are there any Awana parents here that can elighten me? Maybe I'm missing something? Maybe I have their purpose for doing this wrong or maybe it's just something at the local church that other churches don't do?

[Emilylou]

Our AWANA group, also makes a contest out of it. But they don't give the kids the Salvation message on the 1st meeting.

 

The visitors are welcomed and just included in the regular AWANA activities for the night.

 

I am not clear on all of this either... Sorry I don't have more insight

[LinRTX]

We don't stress the bring a friend to AWANA in our group. They can and they do get credit for it. Instead we stress explaining the message of the gospel to others. The children also get credit for explaining to their leader (or writing it out) what it means to be saved or what the gospel message is. We also ask them touse Bible verses in their explanation.

 

I don't like contests that are meaningless. Which means-- who has the most "friends."

 

Linda

[Kate in Arabia]

My kids were also invited for a "bring a friend" night - I'm not sure if it was Awana or a similar program. I was uncomfortable with it, regardless if there was an incentive for bringing the most "friends" or not. I'm uncomfortable with targeting children.

[joannqn]

When we did Awana, we had a bring a friend night and a section in their book required them to bring a friend. However, parents can sub as a friend so I was my daughter's friend.

[Daisy]

Once a year, the kids have a section they pass for inviting a friend. I find it annoying usually because our kids' friends are all busy on a Wednesday night. Our church DOES NOT make a contest out of it. If the child cannot bring a friend or the parents wishes to opt out, they just give an alternate assignment. I think last year, DD wound up writing a letter to a pen pal or something like that.

 

I frankly think it is rude to invite someone to go somewhere with you only to have them discover they were notches on a belt. Blech.

[elegantlion]

 

I frankly think it is rude to invite someone to go somewhere with you only to have them discover they were notches on a belt. Blech.

 

:iagree: My ds was invited to an Awana meeting several years ago. I thought it was neat that another family was reaching out to him. He went had a great time, but they never invited him back. It made me feel like they didn't like him, but sounds like they were doing a contest perhaps. :glare:

[mrs.m]

:iagree: My ds was invited to an Awana meeting several years ago. I thought it was neat that another family was reaching out to him. He went had a great time, but they never invited him back. It made me feel like they didn't like him, but sounds like they were doing a contest perhaps. :glare:

 

You don't have to be invited to go back to Awana. You just start taking your kids and they will be welcomed! I think it's assumed that if the children like it after the first visit, the parents will get them there.

 

My kids didn't do Awana for very long. The times didn't work well for our family so I don't know about an invitation party.

[elegantlion]

You don't have to be invited to go back to Awana. You just start taking your kids and they will be welcomed! I think it's assumed that if the children like it after the first visit, the parents will get them there.

 

My kids didn't do Awana for very long. The times didn't work well for our family so I don't know about an invitation party.

 

Well it wasn't at our church and we had no info about it. At the time we weren't aware it was an open invitation type of activity. That family never mentioned it again. Since they were the only boys he knew there I didn't pursue it because I was led to feel they didn't want to be around my son. Just an opinion from the other side of the fence. :D

[Mrs Mungo]

You don't have to be invited to go back to Awana. You just start taking your kids and they will be welcomed! I think it's assumed that if the children like it after the first visit, the parents will get them there.

 

Some churches you actually need to pay to register and all of that. At our current church is around $100/kid to sign up for Awana. We've been at other churches where it was free for the kids, the church absorbed the cost.

[bnneale]

We are a faithful AWANA family. I have never thought of the inviting friends "contests" as notches on a belt. AWANA's heart is sincerely to see kids come to know Christ as their Savior. I think the intention is particularly for kids to invite schoolmates and neighbors, in order to reach un-churched kids. The kids have fun and want to come back. I have even prayed with two return visitors this year to receive Christ. They came as visitors and now faithfully attend.

 

The problem is that home schooled kids have a hard time finding people to invite. Generally our kids only know other churched kids. So, in this case, even our family has often taken the warm body approach to getting guests. The kids have to bring a guest to pass certain sections in their book--the point being to teach them about evangelism and witnessing. For a few years, we just took the same kids every year to fulfill our quota. The fun thing was that after about three years of being guests, their family got involved too and they all come and love AWANA too.

 

I hope that helps to clarify. The heart of AWANA's ministry is really to reach kids for Christ. The research shows that the majority of people who become Christians do so as children. I personally was invited to a similar group when I was a kid and that is where I learned to trust Christ.

 

Blessings,

Nicole in WA

[Mynyel]

Why do Awana members invite friends to Awana and make a contest out of it? I went with my dd one time when she'd been invited and they gave a speil about coming to know Jesus and asking him into your heart, etc. So I figure that's why they are inviting kids-to help them to know the Lord. Admirable, but I don't like it being assumed my kids are in need in that area, and they make a big contest out of it. Whichever group brings the most people wins an ice cream party or whatever. How sincere is that? So moms are e-mailing or calling asking if our kids can go so their kids can win the contest.

 

It really disturbs me and I haven't felt comfortable approaching the subject with the moms. Are there any Awana parents here that can elighten me? Maybe I'm missing something? Maybe I have their purpose for doing this wrong or maybe it's just something at the local church that other churches don't do?

 

I had my kids in awana too. They were saying something about bringing a friend. I don't remember because it was right before the Christmas break and my son didn't want to go back. My daughter had stopped going two weeks before.

The leaders were very "pushy" as my daughter puts it. Made her do things that we don't believe are needed. Like alter calls and the like. So she quit going.

My son just said it was boring all they did was tell stories. /shrug I wasn't going to force them and I know other people that take their kids and their kids love it!

I was glad my kids decided to quit. I didn't agree with the doctrine (not all of it anyway) and they were way more.....strict, not the word I really wanted but, than I would have thought for a evening program.

 

That was my experience anyway :001_smile:

[Guest janainaz]

Personally, I think the church has an agenda to get more members and they use Awana and the "bring a friend" to do that. If a new kid starts going the parents will often follow.

 

The contest part of it irks me to no end.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Personally, I think the church has an agenda to get more members and they use Awana and the "bring a friend" to do that. If a new kid starts going the parents will often follow.

 

The contest part of it irks me to no end.

 

 

:iagree: When you push giving 10% (and MORE!) to the church it quickly becomes a numbers game. Getting bodies in the door=money.

[bnneale]

This is sooooo not the heart of AWANA. The heart is for children to get saved. I would ask everyone to check it out before making such harsh statements.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

This is sooooo not the heart of AWANA. The heart is for children to get saved. I would ask everyone to check it out before making such harsh statements.

 

 

I hear what you are saying. I grew up in christianity. Looking at it now from the outside in I will tell you that many non-christians have a HUGE problem with indoctrinating children to go forth and prosyletize for their parents religion, to teach "witnessing", evangelism, how to get people to convert, call it what you will.

 

Making people feel like they are just pawns in a contest makes it even worse. "Yeah, I wasn't so much interested in YOU, I just wanted to win the ice cream party" comes across loud and clear.

 

It simply isn't kind. It's selfish and rude and is not at all how I would want to be treated.

[Quad Shot Academy]

The AWANAS program that we did for 1 year, just signed everyone off on inviting a friend. You were welcome to bring a friend anytime, but it wasn't required. :001_smile:

[Guest janainaz]

This is sooooo not the heart of AWANA. The heart is for children to get saved. I would ask everyone to check it out before making such harsh statements.

 

My kids were part of a Awana for two years. I have checked it out and am well aware of what it's all about.

 

There are some nice people who are involved with Awana. My son had a really sweet teacher and I felt her genuine heart for the kids. My issue is with the motive of the instiution that uses the Awana program to grow their church. Church growth is more about the money and less about the "saving" of people. It's takes a lot of money to keep the church business running.

 

Having a contest based on who brought in the most friends is also what they do with the adults. There is a lot of manipulation within the instituation and it is hidden through programs.

 

With that said, God is still God and can work around the foolishness of it all.

[Tidbits of Learning]

We are a faithful AWANA family. I have never thought of the inviting friends "contests" as notches on a belt. AWANA's heart is sincerely to see kids come to know Christ as their Savior. I think the intention is particularly for kids to invite schoolmates and neighbors, in order to reach un-churched kids. The kids have fun and want to come back. I have even prayed with two return visitors this year to receive Christ. They came as visitors and now faithfully attend.

 

 

 

I find it hard to understand the un-churched friends part in any church event. Be it an adult or child. I was enjoying going to a church that had an indoor play area open to the public for toddlers for a while. I was only going on a Tuesday morning that they opened the play area for all the community. It was not religious in any form. It was a baptist church. I found out about it from a Mom of a child my kids attended school with at the time. The Mom was nice and we became friends. She invited me to the church often and I politely refused often.

I attend mass and explained this to her. I did go one Sunday and was enjoying myself until the Sunday School teacher started about bringing an unchurched friend. I realized I was the unchurched friend. I honestly only went that time b/c I considered her a friend and felt that I was being rude by not attending after so many invites. The rest of the service I was confused b/c I am not unchurched and I went back over our conversations from the previous months. It really bothered me and made me feel like our friendship was borne out of her trying to get me to attend church there.

She asked me several times over the course of the rest of the year and pushed me to bring the kids again until I finally just told her the kids will be starting communion classes and I felt that it would confuse them. She has not called as much or tried to talk anymore since I made it clear that we were not unchurched and attend mass.

I am not unchurched and the kids aren't either. I think you should make sure that the people you are inviting are unchurched.

I didn't know what awana was until this board. I would not want my children to go to something for a friend and hear a salvation message instead so that the children could win an ice cream party. I think that would hurt and confuse my children.

[nutmeg]

As others have said, in the Sparks and TNT levels there is a section to pass that includes inviting a friend to attend club. Any contests or rewards are added-on by your local Awana leadership and are NOT a part of the standard, official Awana program. (And I personally would have a problem with a contest).

 

Our club leaders also include the options to bring a friend to any church activity, or to do some sort of outreach (Christmas caroling at a retirement center, or Salvation Army bell ringing).

[robsiew]

The AWANA my kids attend doesn't make a contest out of it. We don't make a habit of inviting people regularly, just when their book says they need to. People are so busy now that it's difficult to find families that have an open evening to send their kid somewhere!

 

I think if we invited someone I'd expect that they would let us know if they would like to continue to attend. If I don't hear anything I assume parents or kids aren't interested in sending/going.

[Kate in Arabia]

I'm trying to wrap my head around this whole concept.

 

If your kids had a Hindu friend, and they invited your kids to their temple for a "bring a friend" night, where the clearly understood purpose was to lure your kids into wanting to regularly attend the temple and ultimately convert to Hinduism, is this not uncomfortable?

 

When friends are invited for "bring a friend", are all the participants, including parents, clear on what the intentions are? Is this is a really popular/well-attended activity? Is it usually inviting Christian friends who maybe attend a different church of the same denomination? Is it more Christians of other denominations, or non-Christians? Is there some kind of age limit, bottom of the range (my ds was around 8 when he was invited)?

[Daisy]

We are a faithful AWANA family. I have never thought of the inviting friends "contests" as notches on a belt.

 

I'm not suggesting that the children doing the inviting are "feeling" this way. I'm suggesting that a child who was invited for the express purpose of helping someone win a prize might feel this way.

[Mommyof4ks]

Our club does not make a contest out of it, but I know some do. Each child is encouraged to bring one friend a year, but it is not mandatory.

[Guest Katia]

My dc were invited to AWANA by friends. They thought they were invited because their friends wanted them to come and have fun at this really fun club.

 

Later, we found out that it was just an assignment that they had to 'sign-off' in their booklets before they could move on to win more 'jewels'.

 

But, by that time, my kids had already joined and were having fun playing the games and learning the Bible verses in their booklets. Until......they came to the 'invite a friend' page. We searched and searched and finally found some friends to ask so that the kids could 'sign-off' and move on in their booklets. We thought that was the end of it, but.....no. There were more and more pages of 'invite a friend' and we just didn't know anybody. At.all.

 

So, I talked to the AWANA leaders and explained that my kids simply didn't know anyone else. Could we just skip those pages and move on in the booklet? The answer was, NO. You could not skip any pages. They were adamant about this. There were no exceptions and no moving forward. They were simply to find somebody, anybody to bring. What they didn't understand is that we had nobody. All our family lived hundreds of miles away and the kids were homeschooled. Our home church was small, small, small....no kids there. Sigh.

 

So.....here my kids were in this club having a wonderful time and were told that if they didn't know anyone else to ask, then they couldn't keep coming. My kids were heartbroken. My dd had worked so, so hard to earn her 'jewels' and my son, at 11yo was a stay-at-home never-go-anywhere person and had memorized an unbelievable number of Bible verses and even said them in front of this whole church one evening. This was amazing for him as he just doesn't 'do' that sort of thing.

 

We never went back and no one there ever contacted us again.

 

When we moved, our kids were once again invited to AWANA, but this time by a homeschool family that said they wouldn't have to bring friends. So, we agreed and the kids started. Well, just one dd started with her friends. We had to pay for a joining fee, book fees, prize fees and then we had to pay to order her a shirt. She did a whole section, but they only award prizes during some special time, and during that time dd was in rehearsal for a community college play that she was in (yes, she was only 10yo, but she was an amazing actress at that age).

 

So.....I went to the leaders and told them she had rehearsals during that time, and could I just pick up her shirt and get her jewels or whatever the prize was and they said NO. She HAD to come to the award ceremony or she couldn't get anything. Those were the rules.

 

Well, I told them she couldn't come, so they said, too bad she won't get what she earned. Well, could I at least pick up her shirt? (I had paid $35 for this shirt) No, I could not pick up her shirt. It had to be given to her at her award ceremony. So.....if dd can't come back, you just keep her shirt, her prizes and all the money I paid you for these things? Yes. Those were the rules and the choice to come or not to come was ours.....

 

Did I mention that I an NOT an AWANA fan. We are talking two different denominations in two different (not bordering) states.

 

I never recommend AWANA to anyone for any reason. It was one of the most awful experiences my kids ever had in the context of "Christianity".

[ChristusG]

I love love love AWANA. I was an AWANA leader years ago before we had kids. And now my DD5 has been in the AWANA program for 2 years now. It is a wonderful program that I cannot say enough good things about.

 

As far as inviting a friend, yes, that is one section in the book that has to be signed off on. Our church does not make a contest of it, and if you do not have a friend to bring, you get signed off anyways. It is a way to get unchurched kids into church. Yes, that is the call of the Bible....to witness and bring others to Christ. Bringing them to AWANA so that they can hear about Christ is a great way for kids to do it.

 

As far as being uncomfortable....of course I'd be uncomfortable if my child was invited to a Hindu church (or some other religion). And I would say "I'm sorry, but DD will not be able to attend with you." And that would be that.

[Cindyg]

I hate the bring-a-friend requirement in Awanas. We always make a point to invite a friend who already goes to our church (but isn't in Awanas). I know that defeats the purpose, but I hate the requirement.

 

And, for those of you on the receiving end, bringing a friend is a *requirement* for the kids to finish their book for the year. (Actually, they have to bring TWO different friends each year.) That's why your kids get invited.

[GaHadley]

wow. i am so sorry for all the negative experiences with awana.

 

My dd just finished that section of the book to bring a friend. Honestly, all of my dd's friends are either in our church or another church. I went and watched her during game time and they signed off as her bringing a friend.

 

I don't disagree with encouraging kids to invite people to come to church with them so that they can hear the Good News of Christ. HOWEVER ~ I don't think a young child should be invited from a different-believing background in order to be swayed. I think it's a great way to possible bring people to a relationship with Christ who do not know of Him.

 

I think a contest is ridiculous, because it does cause kids to invite for the wrong reason, and I'd hate to feel that I was invited for that sort of ulterior motive. Our church doesn't do that, and I am grateful.

 

And, to the poster who had to pay all the money and then didn't get any of the stuff she'd paid for - WOW. I can't imagine that. Utterly ridiculous.

 

I love the AWANA program at our church. I love the focus on learning scripture at a young age, and I feel it has been very valuable for my children. I think if I'd faced some of the situations mentioned in this thread I wouldn't be so fond of it either.

[Garga]

The answer was, NO. You could not skip any pages. They were adamant about this. There were no exceptions and no moving forward.

 

...

 

Well, I told them she couldn't come, so they said, too bad she won't get what she earned. Well, could I at least pick up her shirt? (I had paid $35 for this shirt) No, I could not pick up her shirt. It had to be given to her at her award ceremony. So.....if dd can't come back, you just keep her shirt, her prizes and all the money I paid you for these things? Yes. Those were the rules and the choice to come or not to come was ours.....

 

Oh, for crying out loud!!!! I was just reading the passage in the bible where Jesus raises a big stink over the Pharisees (religious leaders of his day) who were so set on following a bunch of man-made, arbitrary rules that they ended up actually breaking God's divinely given rules (the example was that the rich Pharisees wouldn't help out their poverty stricken parents because they gave all their charity money to the church--when God's rule explicitly say to honor your parents.)

 

Ugh. These Awana people were being Pharisees (and Jesus was constantly telling them to get off their high horses.)

 

Christianity isn't about following a bunch of rigid rules and God knows that. It's only people who think it is.

 

I am so saddened to hear what happened to you. Don't take these heartless actions out on God. These people were flat-out wrong and I surely hope that God guides them back to compassion and love.

Edited January 29, 2010 by Garga

[Hedgehogs4]

We are Anglican, but our kids attend AWANA at a local Baptist church. I have attended Baptist church in the past. the 'bring a friend to club" assignment is a bit different for me...though we have the ALPHA program at our church, and we are always encouraging people to invite someone to ALPHA. Nevertheless, I have always thought that the Baptists' way of pushing to get people to bring people to church was a bit artificial. I much prefer the leading of the Spirit to show me the people to whom I should reach out and / or invite.

[Remudamom]

Our kids used to go to Awanas at a local church. Our church doesn't do the program. Anyhow, the church bussed in kids and it was so wild that I got fed up with it. My main gripe was all the children that "came to Christ" and then continued behaving like wild, undisciplined hoodlums.

 

While I understand the church wanted to reach children that normally wouldn't hear the message of salvation, and I think that's great, it wasn't beneficial for our kids.

[AuntieM]

Once a year, the kids have a section they pass for inviting a friend. I find it annoying usually because our kids' friends are all busy on a Wednesday night. Our church DOES NOT make a contest out of it. If the child cannot bring a friend or the parents wishes to opt out, they just give an alternate assignment. I think last year, DD wound up writing a letter to a pen pal or something like that.

 

I frankly think it is rude to invite someone to go somewhere with you only to have them discover they were notches on a belt. Blech.

 

All my kids have dealt with that, and being an AWANA leader, I always hated having to sign off on that bring a friend section - notches indeed...

 

We have invited kids to AWANA, when they've expressed an interest. But we always took the alternate assignment to get credit for that section (my kids all wrote letters to missionaries).

 

I don't remember ever being in a club that had a contest for bringing the most guests. That's hard, especially on folks like us who relocate often. Most of our friends (the ones we meet when we first move to a new place) are either from our new church or already have Wednesday night activities at their own place of worship.

[GaHadley]

We are Anglican, but our kids attend AWANA at a local Baptist church. I have attended Baptist church in the past. the 'bring a friend to club" assignment is a bit different for me...though we have the ALPHA program at our church, and we are always encouraging people to invite someone to ALPHA. Nevertheless, I have always thought that the Baptists' way of pushing to get people to bring people to church was a bit artificial. I much prefer the leading of the Spirit to show me the people to whom I should reach out and / or invite.

 

 

It's so funny that you see it as the Baptist's way to get people to church, because i grew up in a Methodist church and this was a common practice. Now I am a member of a Baptist church and I told dh that I was SO glad that our children wouldn't be taught that "inviting a friend to church" would be the replacement for witnessing to them! I guess it really just depends on the church (or area?) I agree with you - the Holy Spirit will prompt you :)

[Jeanne in MN]

Once a year, the kids have a section they pass for inviting a friend. I find it annoying usually because our kids' friends are all busy on a Wednesday night. Our church DOES NOT make a contest out of it. If the child cannot bring a friend or the parents wishes to opt out, they just give an alternate assignment. I think last year, DD wound up writing a letter to a pen pal or something like that.

 

I frankly think it is rude to invite someone to go somewhere with you only to have them discover they were notches on a belt. Blech.

 

That's what it feels like, like the kids are notches on a belt. The last time they went the friend pointed out a badge that he would get because they came. :( i'm glad your Awana program handles it in a more appropriate way.

[Barb_]

As far as being uncomfortable....of course I'd be uncomfortable if my child was invited to a Hindu church (or some other religion). And I would say "I'm sorry, but DD will not be able to attend with you." And that would be that.

 

It really isn't so simple. What if your child was already a friend of this Hindu family (or Jewish family or even Catholic family)? And one day the friend said something like, "Hey you want to go to game night with a bunch of my friends at my temple tonight?" Or, "Hey my youth group lets us bring friends if we want...do you want to come out with me and meet my friends? We're doing crafts this week." How do you tell this child and her family, "No" when the invitation seems so innocent and so warm? You wouldn't worry about offending? When my children have been on the receiving end of these invites, there is no mention of AWANA or of unchurched folk (which to me rings of "unclean" every time I read it on this thread) or of conversion or hidden ulterior motives. The whole thing feels sneaky and icky and creepy.

 

Barb

Edited January 29, 2010 by Barb F. PA in AZ

[Jeanne in MN]

I find it hard to understand the un-churched friends part in any church event. Be it an adult or child. I was enjoying going to a church that had an indoor play area open to the public for toddlers for a while. I was only going on a Tuesday morning that they opened the play area for all the community. It was not religious in any form. It was a baptist church. I found out about it from a Mom of a child my kids attended school with at the time. The Mom was nice and we became friends. She invited me to the church often and I politely refused often.

I attend mass and explained this to her. I did go one Sunday and was enjoying myself until the Sunday School teacher started about bringing an unchurched friend. I realized I was the unchurched friend. I honestly only went that time b/c I considered her a friend and felt that I was being rude by not attending after so many invites. The rest of the service I was confused b/c I am not unchurched and I went back over our conversations from the previous months. It really bothered me and made me feel like our friendship was borne out of her trying to get me to attend church there.

She asked me several times over the course of the rest of the year and pushed me to bring the kids again until I finally just told her the kids will be starting communion classes and I felt that it would confuse them. She has not called as much or tried to talk anymore since I made it clear that we were not unchurched and attend mass.

I am not unchurched and the kids aren't either. I think you should make sure that the people you are inviting are unchurched.

I didn't know what awana was until this board. I would not want my children to go to something for a friend and hear a salvation message instead so that the children could win an ice cream party. I think that would hurt and confuse my children.

 

That would have seriously chapped my backside. :glare:

[Jeanne in MN]

As others have said, in the Sparks and TNT levels there is a section to pass that includes inviting a friend to attend club. Any contests or rewards are added-on by your local Awana leadership and are NOT a part of the standard, official Awana program. (And I personally would have a problem with a contest).

QUOTE]

 

I'm relieved to hear it's not a standard part of the program.

[specialmama]

Our AWANA club does not make a contest out of it. It's pretty low key, like: hey, if ever you want to invite a friend, then please feel free to do so! The guest gets to join in all the fun and games, and that's that. No pressure to bring a friend, no pressure on the friend. It's just good, clean fun. If you don't ever bring a friend, that's okay; they still proceed to the next book. My dd will be bringing a friend for the first time tomorrow (Impish's dd) and she's looking forward to it. She can't wait to show "Diva" the stomp/clap/drum roll, and have an extra voice for the shouts of hooray at the end.

 

AWANA clubs are run by different leaders. The books are all the same, but each group's rules on this particular event will reflect the leader's view of it. My advice is don't chuck the baby out with the bathwater. ;)

[Jeanne in MN]

My dc were invited to AWANA by friends. They thought they were invited because their friends wanted them to come and have fun at this really fun club.

 

Later, we found out that it was just an assignment that they had to 'sign-off' in their booklets before they could move on to win more 'jewels'.

 

But, by that time, my kids had already joined and were having fun playing the games and learning the Bible verses in their booklets. Until......they came to the 'invite a friend' page. We searched and searched and finally found some friends to ask so that the kids could 'sign-off' and move on in their booklets. We thought that was the end of it, but.....no. There were more and more pages of 'invite a friend' and we just didn't know anybody. At.all.

 

So, I talked to the AWANA leaders and explained that my kids simply didn't know anyone else. Could we just skip those pages and move on in the booklet? The answer was, NO. You could not skip any pages. They were adamant about this. There were no exceptions and no moving forward. They were simply to find somebody, anybody to bring. What they didn't understand is that we had nobody. All our family lived hundreds of miles away and the kids were homeschooled. Our home church was small, small, small....no kids there. Sigh.

 

So.....here my kids were in this club having a wonderful time and were told that if they didn't know anyone else to ask, then they couldn't keep coming. My kids were heartbroken. My dd had worked so, so hard to earn her 'jewels' and my son, at 11yo was a stay-at-home never-go-anywhere person and had memorized an unbelievable number of Bible verses and even said them in front of this whole church one evening. This was amazing for him as he just doesn't 'do' that sort of thing.

 

We never went back and no one there ever contacted us again.

 

When we moved, our kids were once again invited to AWANA, but this time by a homeschool family that said they wouldn't have to bring friends. So, we agreed and the kids started. Well, just one dd started with her friends. We had to pay for a joining fee, book fees, prize fees and then we had to pay to order her a shirt. She did a whole section, but they only award prizes during some special time, and during that time dd was in rehearsal for a community college play that she was in (yes, she was only 10yo, but she was an amazing actress at that age).

 

So.....I went to the leaders and told them she had rehearsals during that time, and could I just pick up her shirt and get her jewels or whatever the prize was and they said NO. She HAD to come to the award ceremony or she couldn't get anything. Those were the rules.

 

Well, I told them she couldn't come, so they said, too bad she won't get what she earned. Well, could I at least pick up her shirt? (I had paid $35 for this shirt) No, I could not pick up her shirt. It had to be given to her at her award ceremony. So.....if dd can't come back, you just keep her shirt, her prizes and all the money I paid you for these things? Yes. Those were the rules and the choice to come or not to come was ours.....

 

Did I mention that I an NOT an AWANA fan. We are talking two different denominations in two different (not bordering) states.

 

I never recommend AWANA to anyone for any reason. It was one of the most awful experiences my kids ever had in the context of "Christianity".

 

Oh my! That's pretty bad. Sorry you had such a poor experience.

[SonshineLearner]

Sorry.... that part turns into ... "No, I invited her.... Kinda like VBS... where~when you get "points" for inviting friends.... bringing in change.. and all that other stuff....

 

Sorry again....

 

Although... our Awana program isn't so strict as the post quoted ahead of mine. Ours would let you have the shirt, the jewels and other such things... After all... Your daughter EARNED them...

 

Bummer....

Edited January 29, 2010 by NayfiesMama

[ThatCyndiGirl]

When my children have been on the receiving end of these invites, there is no mention of AWANA or of unchurched folk (which to me rings of "unclean" every time I read it on this thread) or of conversion or hidden ulterior motives. The whole thing feels sneaky and icky and creepy.

 

Barb

 

 

Thank you for pointing this out. I was discussing this term with my dd earlier and said,"it's weird that they call people by the negative. It's like introducing someone as, 'this is Katy, who is a non-blonde, non-short and non-fat person". (I used those terms because my daughter has brown hair and is tall and thin, not as a slam on anyone. I'm fat, no offense meant!)

 

I can't imagine other religions calling christians "un-templed".

 

 

"Those poor christian kids are untempled, we really felt led to reach out and try to save them so we invited them".

Edited January 29, 2010 by ThatCyndiGirl

[Barb_]

Thank you for pointing this out. I was discussing this term with my dd earlier and said,"it's weird that they call people by the negative. It's like introducing someone as, 'this is Katy, who is a non-blonde, non-short and non-fat person". (I used those terms because my daughter has brown hair and is tall and thin, not as a slam on anyone. I'm fat, no offense meant!)

 

I can't imagine other religions calling christians "un-templed".

 

 

"Those poor christian kids are untempled, we really felt led to reach out and try to save them so we invited them".

 

You know, actually on second thought it only looks like unclean in print. Unchurched sounds more like the original meaning of unschooled...as in ignorant or uneducated. It just doesn't feel like it's meant kindly.

 

And LOL to your daughter's description of herself. I am of the non-tall, non-surgically altered, ungymmed variety...which incidentally makes me something of an anomaly in many parts of the Valley.

 

Barb

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Barb, that's funny! I wonder if any gym-goers are goin to reach out to me because, to look at me it is obvious that I am ungymed! :lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

Barb, that's funny! I wonder if any gym-goers are goin to reach out to me because, to look at me it is obvious that I am ungymed! :lol:

 

I think that's possibly the best analogy, ever.

[tex-mex]

When we did Awana, we had a bring a friend night and a section in their book required them to bring a friend. However, parents can sub as a friend so I was my daughter's friend.

 

That is what I recall from our AWANA experience. I do not recall having the guest being told the Gospel message on that visit either... they just had fun with a regular AWANA night.

[Kate in Arabia]

The whole thing feels sneaky and icky and creepy.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

 

I'm sure in some cases it's fine -- like others mentioned if they are already members of your church, or maybe new members, so this is more a way to include them in activities they'd probably be interested in; or if the parents of the targeted kids were on board. In my case, the kids had made it clear in other ways that we were sub-par because we're not Christian.

[Pippen]

The problem is that home schooled kids have a hard time finding people to invite. Generally our kids only know other churched kids.

 

Even when my kids were in public school it was very hard finding people to invite. My oldest naturally gravitated to kids who were from Christian families and they already attended Wed night programs elsewhere plus one kid of another faith who I didn't feel right about asking because if they reversed the situation I would have declined. That being said, we're running into problems with hs-ing this year because nearly all of the girls my daughter does extras with are in junior high.

 

I hate the fact that it's 1) a requirement and 2) that if they are going to have this sort of a requiremnt, that it's not one of many options. There are many ways to share your faith for those who wish to do so. To limit it to one in order to fulfill a manmade requirement has always rubbed me the wrong way.

[LinRTX]

I'm so sorry you experienced this at two different churches. This is NOT Awana policy, but was made up by the local churches. The local churches aded the rules.

 

My husband and I are leaders in our church's program. We do anything we can to make the children sucessful and they do not have to bring a friend to be successful. There are other things they can do to satisfy that requirement (including memorizing extra verses or writing a letter). This is actually in the Awana leader book and shpu;d be allowed as an option. And Awana would never withhold awards the child earned because they could not be there one certain time. That was a church only rule and should not be allowed.

 

Linda

[Lizzie in Ma]

Because half the kids were home-schooled and all their friends were already attending Awana. It was a real problem.

 

The reason we chose not to invite someone had more to do with our Awana program itself.

[kpupg]

Sounds like a local aberration to me ... but I concur with you that I would be uncomfortable having my children treated as notches on someone else's belt.

 

Karen