anyone else think its great that their children have their own bedrooms

[TravelingChris]

Growing up, I had to share a bedroom with my sister. My dh had to share a bedroom with his brother. Both of us hated doing that. We like having our children have their own bedrooms. They all have different personalities and the two who get along best together are 7.75 years apart and different sexes. I am sure that others think me as extravagant but when we decide how to spend our money, different bedrooms for our children is one of the priorities. Maybe because we are living in a high cost area that is seen as strange. Maybe because so many homeschool families have so many children. We only have three and we think it is a real blessing to let each have their own room. It makes my life so much easier since my home is a lot quieter. It is also a lot more peaceful since we moved into a large house. I can always put one child on each floor.

[kdeno]

one daughter who would love to have her own room, she gets very frustrated with her younger sisters messing up her room. The rest of them (who are old enough to care) love sharing rooms. Maybe because that is all they have known? I think you are blessed to have the option for the children to room individually.

 

Kariann

[KidsHappen]

Yep, I think it's great. As I have posted in the other threads, my children have (almost) always had their own rooms. It is one of the priorities in our house. We live in a pretty high cost area but we didn't even consider looking at house with less bedrooms than occupants minus one (hubby and I share :tongue_smilie:). On the other hand, we have never been on a vacation and have rarely had more than one car. I must be able to physically seperate my children when neccessary.

Edited January 23, 2010 by KidsHappen

[kewb]

No room sharing here. Even if they were the same gender separate rooms would be a priority for me. I thank G-d frequently that my sister and I did not have to share a room growing up.

[Guest janainaz]

My boys are five years apart and they each have their own room. Neither of them spend any significant amount of time in there anyway, so at this point it's not a big deal. However, I would not be super happy having a 15 year old boy and 10 year boy sharing. To me, it's just too much of an age difference.

[Nicole M]

Interesting. Every fall I listen to a talk that is given to the parents of entering freshmen at the college where I work -- "First Year Issues". At one point during the talk, the speaker always asks, "How many of you shared a room with a sibling when you were growing up?" And nearly everyone raises and hand. Then he asks, "How many of your students shared a room at home?" Pretty much no one raises a hand. Apparently in the last 20 years there has been a tremendous increase in problems between roommates, tracked mainly by the staffing hours needed to help students negotiate those problems. One theory is that because so few of our children have to share a room, they just don't know how to navigate their boundaries. One of the previous presidents of this college went so far as to say that learning to deal with a roommate is good preparation for marriage!

 

I'm not talking about your children, mind. I'm sure all our children will be fabulous roomies. ;) But it's interesting to think about. Our ideas about privacy have changed drastically in the last centuries.

 

Sure, I'd love for my boys to have each had their own room, but that was not a possibility. And my youngest is literally counting down the days until his brother goes to college (based on the start dates for each college his brother has applied to, no kidding). That boy definitely wants his own room.

[Renee in NC]

It doesn't work in my house. The 11yo has his own room and BOTH of his younger brothers sleep in there with him. In our previous house, he had his own room and refused to sleep alone! My 16yo loved his own room though and it makes me sad to remember how he had to give it up. We had even let him paint it red and black.

 

I would like my dc to have their own rooms, but it is likely to NEVER happen!

[LibraryLover]

My kids have the option to have their own rooms, and they didn't want them. When we had two kids and 4 bedrooms, they didn't want them. When we had 3 kids and 4 bedrooms, nobody slept alone, and when we had 4 kids, and wanted to give the girls each their own room (large age gap) they didn't use the 4th bedroom. It was a playroom with a bed. The slept in the older girls 'room' in her bunks. The oldest boy didn't even want it. He and his bro shared.

 

We have a little cottage on our property steps from the main house, and I had to kick the 19 yr old into when the time came. (The 3rd bd in the house is very small, and you couldn't really walk in there with all their stuff, but I swear they would have stayed if I hadn't insisted). We have a bedroom in the basement with a door and windows etc and nobody wants it. The 16 yr old has his own room, but when is brother is home, he's with his brother in the little cottage ( holds our drums, games, guitars etc it has a large new bath, a nice-sized downstairs room, & upstairs loft bedroom). I have asked my 17 yr old dd if she wanted to have the cottage bedroom when her bother leaves for school this month, and goes abroad this summer. She said , 'And I would want to do that why?"

 

My oldest son once wrote an essay about how his little brother's 'metered breathing' in the bunk below brought him comfort and helped him to fall asleep.

 

We seriously don't care where they sleep. They all could each have their own room, but they aren't interested. Well, no...I do know my 21 yr old now does like having his own little house. Although it's grand central in there because that's where the instruments and fooseball table is.

Edited January 23, 2010 by LibraryLover

[AngieW in Texas]

All three of our kids shared a room until they were 3yo,5.5yo,8yo. At the next house we lived in, the 8yo had her own room, but the two younger girls shared a room. When we moved again two years later, we made sure that all three of them would have separate rooms.

 

The youngest and middle are the most compatible in general. But the youngest needs to listen to audiobooks and have a fairly bright light while sleeping (even now at 11yo). The middle needs her room to be cave dark and absolutely silent. They would be fine sharing a room by day, but don't work well together for sleeping.

 

The oldest isn't compatible with anybody at any time. I feel very sorry for anybody stuck with her as a roommate. However, when relatives come and my 14yo is kicked out of her room, my 14yo and 16yo do fine sleeping together since the 16yo also sleeps in a silent, cave-dark room.

[Goodallmomma]

I had my own room and bathroom growing up. The perk of being the only girl. My brothers had their own rooms but shared a bathroom. I guess it was nice, but I never really put much thought into the alternative. My boys share a room. They're so close in age we kind of treat them like twins. I imagine they will continue to share a room until one shows interest in having their own. Then if we can make it happen, we will. We do plan on having at least one more child though. ;) I love motherhood. If they all end up having to share a room, it will just give them a little extra character.

[LibraryLover]

The 16 yr old is forever chatting in the room his sisters share. He never spends much time alone in his room. He does his homework in the kitchen. He does read in his bed. I think some people are just more communal/village-y. ;)

 

I am in my room now, and my 10 yr old is sitting here knitting, with all her crap splayed all over my bed. (She is knitting a doll and there is wool fluff and place holder pins strewn about). Don't you want to do this in your room....??? lol I ask? "C (her sister) is sleeping and it's kind of lonely and I am wide awake". My kids must be reincarnated communal hippies or cave people. :D

 

I'll really kick her out when dh comes to bed (maybe she ill be tired enough that she won't need company lol). Dh is helping our oldest pack his zillions of pounds of stuff into the car so he can head back for the semester.

 

But if your 16 yr needs some space is there room to hang a cool privacy curtain (or someother neato thing like it from Ikeas or Potter Barn?)

 

It doesn't work in my house. The 11yo has his own room and BOTH of his younger brothers sleep in there with him. In our previous house, he had his own room and refused to sleep alone!

Edited January 23, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Renee in NC]

Hee. The 16 yr old is forever chatting in the room his sisters share. He never spends much time alone in his room. He does his homework in the kitchen. He does read in his bed. I think some people are just more communal/village.

 

I am in my room now, and my 10 yr old is sitting here knitting, with all her crap splayed all over my bed. (She is knitting a doll and there is wool fluff and place holder pins strewn about). Don't you want to do this in your room....??? lol I ask? "C (her sister) is sleeping and it's kind of lonely and I am wide awake". My kids must be reincarnated communal hippies or cave people. :D

 

I'll really kick her out when dh comes to bed (maybe she ill be tired enough that she won't need company lol). Dh is helping our oldest pack his zillions of pounds of stuff into the car so he can head back for the semester.

 

But if your 16 yr needs some space is there room to hang a cool privacy curtain (or someother neato thing like it from Ikeas or Potter Barn?)

 

My 16yo stays in my 11yo's room when he comes to visit and the 11yo moves with his brother into their room. He doesn't have a room with us anymore since we moved. The reason why the younger ones sleep in the 11yo's room is that they can all fit in his queen-sized bed - when they move to the other room they sleep in the floor together because the beds in there are twins!

 

I am *not* a communal type person, but my dh is - they must get it from him!

[Luanne]

I only have one child (a daughter) and currently she is sharing a room with me because we are living in a one bedroom apartment. She loves it!

 

I grew up sharing a room with my older sister (5 years older) and we loved sharing a room.

 

One of my brothers however did not care to share a room with my other brother because he was SO messy (I don't blame him honestly).

 

I think it really depends on the child really.

[LizzyBee]

Sleeping with my sisters probably saved my family's lives on Christmas Day, 1976. Our house was filled with smoke from a smoldering fire around our fireplace. I shook my sister and said I couldn't breathe. She's the one who sat up, turned on the lights, and got my parents up. If I hadn't been sleeping with my sister, I probably would have fallen back to sleep, because I was still really drowsy. The fire had broken into open flames by that time, and our turn-of-the-century farmhouse would have burned very quickly.

 

Besides that, I have warm memories of late night chats that we would have missed out on if we'd all had our own rooms. :001_smile:

Edited January 23, 2010 by LizzyBee

[GaHadley]

I was an only child until I was 14, then I had a stepsister in the same house as I was living in. I pretty much refused to share a room with her (we got along fine, but our personalities were total opposite).

 

I always wanted a sister to share a room with - to whisper secrets and all that stuff.

 

our two girls share a room and the new baby boy will get his own room. If/when #4 comes along s/he will have to share somewhere. Not sure what we'll do if there is a number four and it's a girl :)

[Perry]

My kids each have their own room, but the girls almost always end up together. It's like a slumber party every night. :)

[Garga]

Depends on the kids. Some will love to share. Some need their space.

[Danestress]

I shared with my sister for a good bit of our childhood, and while I love her, I absolutely hated sharing a room with her and feel like it was probably the worst part of my childhood. Given our personalities, I think it was a mistake, and looking back, my mother would agree. She did it so that she could have a formal guest room. Ugh.

 

 

I am not opposed to sharing at all. My boys share a room, but they get along really well, and since my oldest went to college, the youngest two sleep in different rooms now, even though most of their belongings are still in the room they shared.

 

I just think you have to know your own children and be sensitive to what their individual needs are. If you have a choice (and some people really don't) I think you try to choose what is really best for your own child and can't go by some universal rule of what is "best." I am not raising children in general. I am raising my own particular three, and they don't fit a standard mold for what is "best."

[Renee in NC]

I shared with my sister for a good bit of our childhood, and while I love her, I absolutely hated sharing a room with her and feel like it was probably the worst part of my childhood. Given our personalities, I think it was a mistake, and looking back, my mother would agree. She did it so that she could have a formal guest room. Ugh.

 

 

I am not opposed to sharing at all. My boys share a room, but they get along really well, and since my oldest went to college, the youngest two sleep in different rooms now, even though most of their belongings are still in the room they shared.

 

I just think you have to know your own children and be sensitive to what their individual needs are. If you have a choice (and some people really don't) I think you try to choose what is really best for your own child and can't go by some universal rule of what is "best." I am not raising children in general. I am raising my own particular three, and they don't fit a standard mold for what is "best."

 

This is very true. In different houses and in different times, we have paired children together based on personality. I always tried to give my oldest his own space, so when he had to share it was usually with a baby. This led to his being very, very close with my 3yo dd because she shared a room with him as a toddler. My 11yo gets his own room because he is a MESS and I wouldn't force that on anyone else.:tongue_smilie:

 

We may do some more switching around later because my girls share a room but my 5yo would rather have some space of her own and the 3yo would be better with her brothers.

[LibraryLover]

Youngest dd and I are on the third book, Mary Poppins Opens the Door, in the MP series by P L. Travers.

 

Jane, Micheal, John, Barbara, and baby Annabelle all share one nursery bedroom...with Mary Poppins. (In the movie she has a little alcove bedroom, but in the novels, she shares a room with the children & she even has her own 'camp bed') . In the dark, she gets her nightgown over her first and then shimmies out of her day clothes. Who says the British are uptight?

 

Jane and Micheal are forever whispering in the dark about how delightful yet confounding she is. :)

[2squared]

So far we have been able to put anyone under 1yo in their own room, and that has been fantastic. That's almost a must for us.

 

My oldest three shared a room until the oldest was 7yo. Then they were split by gender. Now the boys share and the girls each have their own. I personally love them sharing, especially when I hear them whispering after the lights are out. However, our girls are exactly 6 years apart, and I am thinking that none of us will want to share with my oldest when she becomes a teenager. If it's possible for the girls to have their own rooms, we will probably continue with that. If they end up sleeping together anyway, I would highly encourage the bonding. I always wanted a sister, and my girls definitely have that sister bond right now.

[swimmermom3]

Interesting. Every fall I listen to a talk that is given to the parents of entering freshmen at the college where I work -- "First Year Issues". At one point during the talk, the speaker always asks, "How many of you shared a room with a sibling when you were growing up?" And nearly everyone raises and hand. Then he asks, "How many of your students shared a room at home?" Pretty much no one raises a hand. Apparently in the last 20 years there has been a tremendous increase in problems between roommates, tracked mainly by the staffing hours needed to help students negotiate those problems. One theory is that because so few of our children have to share a room, they just don't know how to navigate their boundaries. One of the previous presidents of this college went so far as to say that learning to deal with a roommate is good preparation for marriage!

 

I'm not talking about your children, mind. I'm sure all our children will be fabulous roomies. ;) But it's interesting to think about. Our ideas about privacy have changed drastically in the last centuries.

 

Sure, I'd love for my boys to have each had their own room, but that was not a possibility. And my youngest is literally counting down the days until his brother goes to college (based on the start dates for each college his brother has applied to, no kidding). That boy definitely wants his own room.

 

I would be curious to see a study done on this. I had my own room growing up and was not the best college dorm mate. My dh is the youngest of 6 and always shared a room. He is very easy-going and does not tend to fix the stink-eye on those who encroach on his space in the line at the grocery store. Unlike me.

[KidsHappen]

It doesn't work in my house. The 11yo has his own room and BOTH of his younger brothers sleep in there with him. In our previous house, he had his own room and refused to sleep alone! My 16yo loved his own room though and it makes me sad to remember how he had to give it up. We had even let him paint it red and black.

 

I would like my dc to have their own rooms, but it is likely to NEVER happen!

 

Oh, I didn't say my children actually sleep in their own rooms just that they have to have them. Some mornings I have to do a grid search to find where the children are sleeping. Sometimes they are bunked with one of their sisters, sometimes in the living room, sometimes in my room. I don't think I have ever found anyone in the shower yet but I am sure it will happen eventually. No, they have to have their own rooms for my sanity. I have to be able to physically seperate them when the are having screaming hissy fits. :tongue_smilie:

[mrsrevmeg]

Yep, I think it's great. As I have posted in the other threads, my children have (almost) always had their own rooms. It is one of the priorities in our house. We live in a pretty high cost area but we didn't even consider looking at house with less bedrooms than occupants minus one (hubby and I share :tongue_smilie:). On the other hand, we have never been on a vacation and have rarely had more than one car. I must be able to physically seperate my children when neccessary.

 

:iagree:Other than living in a high cost area, I could have written this. Sometimes my kids need to have their own to go to and just be alone. (Now if I could only convince my hubby I need my own room .....)

[Rosy]

I shared a room growing up with my (2 years) younger sister for the first 7 years and then my senior year when our mom had a baby. Sharing a room in high school, I believe, was the best thing for our relationship. We had to work out our differences instead of avoiding each other when we were annoyed. We were best friends that year.

 

That said, one of our goals in buying the house we're in now is for each kid to get their own room. For me, I think homeschooling makes the difference, at least partly. They spend plenty of time together, that will never change. But I would love for them to be able to have some place quiet to work. DD9 would love that. Right now DS7 has his own room and all 3 girls (9, 6 & 4) share. DD4 sleeps on a little mattress on the floor. I don't care so much about that for now, but I do look forward to everyone having their own room, being responsible for their own mess, having some place to do schoolwork without interruption. I don't care too much about their privacy, but I do think it will be good for them to be able to set boundaries and make choices about who is in their space and when.

[Radish4ever]

My daughter LOVES having her own room - she CRAVES that privacy and space all to herself.

 

However, my son (he turns 3 tomorrow) wants a "slumber party" almost every single night - he wants to snuggle in his sister's full sized bed and claims he hates his bed (we bought him a twin bed since we thought maybe he just hated his toddler bed...turns out he just hates being alone in his room!)

I'm hoping my youngest (almost 4 months old now) will enjoy sharing a room with his brother as much as his brother seems to need to share. lol I plan on them sharing a room unless we just happen to move to a home that could accomodate them having their own... although if they like being together, I wouldn't object to having the extra space for an office!

[Carrie12345]

I truly hope to give my kids their own rooms one day. My girls are so insanely different that sharing makes them both miserable, to the point of frequent tears of frustration. My boys are 11 and 2, and I just don't think that's fair.

 

My two sisters and I shared a room until we were 9, 6 and 2. Then I shared with the middle sister until I was 13, when the younger two shared and I got my own room. When I came back from college, I shared with my youngest sister. We all hated 9 out of 10 minutes of it!

 

For the record, that had no effect on my roommate situations or sharing with my dh!

[Peela]

Sure. We love it. Dh and I also have our own rooms. We all love our space around here.

 

Ds and dd shared a double bed until they were about school age though- then they shared a room after that until dd was about 12 or so. Then they got their own rooms. Dd would have liked one before then but their half sister was living with us and we preferred she have her own room. When big sis moved out, dd got her sister's room.

 

We all find that our rooms express our own personalities and creativity. Dh's room has a big screen TV at the foot of his bed, and a computer screen to the left of that. He stays up late watching movies and cable TV, while playing spider patience on his computer.

 

I go to bed much earlier, and my room is full of golds and yellows, Klimt's The Kiss and Van Gogh's Irises are on my wall along with various other pictures, a beautiful buddha, crystals, essential oils, and my spiritual books.

 

Dd15's room is full of her girly trinkets and lots of her own artwork (nature watercolours) on her walls.

 

And ds14's room is full of dragon statues and pictures, and an ornamental medieval sword collection.

 

We couldn't imagine having to share. But I realise we are lucky.

[nono]

Well, everyone in our house has their own room, but we all sleep in the same bedroom. :) I have an office, my dh has an office. My children each have a bedroom that is "theirs." We all sleep in the master bedroom. A king-sized bed and two daybeds has worked well to keep us all sleeping at night.

 

But, during waking hours, it is nice for each of us to have a little spot of our own.

[MIch elle]

They have the option to move to the other bedroom but they like the set-up as it is. The 2 bedrooms are on the main floor and are side by side so one is the sleeping room and one is the computer, game, TV also our daytime school room. Both rooms are used heavily because they are on the main floor (my bedroom/bath is on the upper floor).

 

 

I would like to get a new sofa for the TV/gaming/school room but will not because the boys may want their own bedrooms in the near future.

[kewb]

Sure. We love it. Dh and I also have our own rooms. We all love our space around here.

 

You are living my dream. Dh and I dream of the day we can each have our own bedroom.

[believe in miracles]

My dd and ds had separate rooms before we moved recently. It's fun just for the reason of decorating alone. The girl's room was so princess-y and pink... now they share and it's hard to combine the decorations!

[Quiver0f10]

Unless I will the lotery it will never happen here. My oldest Dd has her own room and they rest share.

[ncmomo3]

We have 4 bedrooms-enough for each girl to have her own room. And they were happy to have their own for awhile.

They have now chosen to share the biggest room together and I couldn't be more pleased.:001_smile:

[SquirrellyMama]

My kids shared a room up until Nov. 2009. I have found that all my kids are much better friends now that they are not in a room together. The girls are especially good at playing now that they have seperate spaces. Their rooms are only seperated by a curtain so they can make it one big room if they want or have some seperate space when they have friends over.

[Heather in OK]

I must be able to physically seperate my children when neccessary.

All four of our kids share a bedroom.

 

I am absolutely able to separate them if I need to.

 

They are also able to display their own things and be creative. While they may not have the luxury of a whole bedroom to decorate, they have a little space by their bed they can hang pictures and other favorites.

 

I just think you have to know your own children and be sensitive to what their individual needs are. If you have a choice (and some people really don't) I think you try to choose what is really best for your own child and can't go by some universal rule of what is "best." I am not raising children in general. I am raising my own particular three, and they don't fit a standard mold for what is "best."

:iagree: This isn't a matter of being more well off, being lucky, or about financial status at all.

[6packofun]

Anyone in this thread have more than 4 kids at home and still give them all their own room? I loved having my own room when I finally reached my teen years. But I also wasn't one of six like my children are. Nope, can't afford a 7 bedroom house! LOL :lol:

 

However, our little ones double up and dh and I share a non-bedroom which is VERY inconvenient (no closet) so that our teen dd and teen ds can have their own rooms. It's almost out of necessity, though, and not something I felt I needed to give them...the bedrooms here are just too small to fit 3 kids in one anymore. (We have 4 bedrooms and one is too small for sharing.) I think it's good for younger kids to share and then enjoy their own room in the teen years, if possible. If my 2 oldest were the same gender, though, I might make them share so that dh and I could have a real bedroom!!

Edited January 23, 2010 by 6packofun
...

[rwjx2khsmj]

When we moved three years ago we looked for a house with bedrooms for each dc. Our old home had three bedrooms so sharing was manditory. Imagine our surprise, after painting and decorating a room for each child, when no one was interested in sleeping alone. They all have a room to themselves and we might as well have saved the $$. One room with wall to wall mattress would have been a better investment, at least for us.

[Katrina J]

Imagine our surprise, after painting and decorating a room for each child, when no one was interested in sleeping alone.

 

:lol: BTDT!

[swimmermom3]

Sure. We love it. Dh and I also have our own rooms. We all love our space around here.

 

Ds and dd shared a double bed until they were about school age though- then they shared a room after that until dd was about 12 or so. Then they got their own rooms. Dd would have liked one before then but their half sister was living with us and we preferred she have her own room. When big sis moved out, dd got her sister's room.

 

We all find that our rooms express our own personalities and creativity. Dh's room has a big screen TV at the foot of his bed, and a computer screen to the left of that. He stays up late watching movies and cable TV, while playing spider patience on his computer.

 

I go to bed much earlier, and my room is full of golds and yellows, Klimt's The Kiss and Van Gogh's Irises are on my wall along with various other pictures, a beautiful buddha, crystals, essential oils, and my spiritual books.

 

Dd15's room is full of her girly trinkets and lots of her own artwork (nature watercolours) on her walls.

 

And ds14's room is full of dragon statues and pictures, and an ornamental medieval sword collection.

 

We couldn't imagine having to share. But I realise we are lucky.

 

Digression. Peela, your room sounds warm, soothing, and beautiful. I'll bet you don't keep stacks of laundry and school books in it either.

[momtoboys]

We can't afford for our kids to have their own rooms, and probably won't be able to anytime soon. I really don't think it bothers them. I always had to share a room growing up, and I actually liked it most of the time.

[Carrie12345]

Anyone in this thread have more than 4 kids at home and still give them all their own room? I loved having my own room when I finally reached my teen years. But I also wasn't one of six like my children are. Nope, can't afford a 7 bedroom house! LOL :lol:

 

 

I don't imagine we'll ever be able to afford a "real" 6+ bedroom house (especially when a 5-bedroom is already entering dream territory, lol), but we're pretty committed to searching for a full, finished (or finishable) basement and/or attic. I'm willing to get pretty creative!

 

Although, to be honest, my kids would probably be fine sharing bedrooms if we had a dedicated playroom and study area.

 

So, really, what we need is SPACE in general!!!

[smrtmama]

My kids have their own rooms. I like being able to separate them for their own private time.

[kpupg]

I would be curious to see a study done on this. I had my own room growing up and was not the best college dorm mate.

 

:iagree:

 

I had my own bedroom from about the age of 7. I had no end of roommate trouble in college. I had 4 roommates in my first 2 years ... both years I was assigned randomly in the 1st semester and it was a disaster; then I moved in with someone I knew for the 2nd semester and things went better ... some of that trouble was their fault ... some of it was my fault. From my 3rd year on, I guess I gained enough skills and found more compatible girls to room with, as it was fine from then on.

 

I have one boy and one girl, so sharing is out of the question for us. But I do regret that they are not learning room-sharing skills.

 

Karen

[TravelingChris]

My middle one probably won't have a roommate in college either. Her brother did and his first roommate changed rooms because of him. Somehow his second didn't mind him. But my middle really should have a single for medical reasons let alone her personality. She gets frequent migraines and has PMDD and needs to be alone. The third one, my only extrovert, will probably love having a roommate. It took her a while to be happy being alone but it wasn't like she and her sister got along well when they were sharing a room. Now, they do get along okay at times though this is a difficult period since the younger is 13 and very hormonal.