OhM Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Here's the story: This morning, after a back & forth w/my daughters, I made my facebook status this: "Would someone please explain to my daughters that being a mom is not the same thing as being a dork, even though they look very similar?" A friend posted some defense, my daughters rebutted, another friend posted a defense of dorks and claimed ownership of the term :), then my a$$ of a brother (ask me how I really feel) posts this: "But Michelle, You are a Dork!! I've known that for years, I'm just glad someone finally agrees with me." The background is that my jerk of a brother can't speak to me without throwing in some kind of juvenile insult. On Thanksgiving he posted this gem: "Hope you have a good turkey... (Oops! You are a good turkey!!!)" At my grandmother's funeral dinner back in the fall, he managed to get three digs in (that I noticed), there were probably more, but I tried just to stay away from him as much as possible and ignore him otherwise - which has been my overall strategy since I entered adulthood and came to realize that he was never going to be anything but that jerk kid I grew up with. So - I need your help. You ladies who have a gift with such things - can you conjure up a subtle yet devastating comeback to post for my brother? I would forever be in your debt. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I'd just agree with him. Takes the wind right of a jerk's sails when you cheerfully agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I would simply delete his post. You can do that. Sorry.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Somehow, I don't think "Takes one to know one!" qualifies as subtle and devastating.:D Since I'm a joking kind of person, I would post *rolls eyes at brother's childish insults* or "It's nice to know that my ___-year-old daughter and my ___-year-old brother have the same maturity level!" However, I don't have any emotional investment, so maybe it's better to just ignore him and not start something you may regret! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Somehow, I don't think "Takes one to know one!" qualifies as subtle and devastating.:D Seriously, I would post *rolls eyes at brother's childish insults* or "It's nice to know that my ___-year-old daughter and my ___-year-old brother have the same maturity level!" Or, you could just ignore him and not start something you may regret! My mind immediately went to "I'm rubber and you're glue" territory, so I'm obviously not the right person to ask:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 "And comments like that are why I haven't willingly had much to do with you since I had an escape route." Or, "At least Mom has ONE kid that matured past preteen levels." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I'm in the Kill Them With Southern Kindness camp: "Why, thanks! Aren't you so sweet and mature to point that out!" Then I'd block any further comments from him, if you can do that on FB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 My mind immediately went to "I'm rubber and you're glue" territory, so I'm obviously not the right person to ask:D Me either. I went right to "Grow up, grow up, everytime I look at you I throw up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhM Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Well, I'm right with you guys - "I know you are, what am I?" probably won't do it either, huh? I'll probably take hornblower's advice (which is what I usually do) and just ignore him. I just don't understand why he thinks he's so funny? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 My bro tends twd that a little bit, but I think it's because he just really doesn't know what to say. It's like "Hi, how are you?" but comes out, "Hey dork!" And as long as you respond in kind? The socially inept continue to think they're funny & that you enjoy it. :glare: Could you respond w/ something like, "Hey, bro! How are you these days?" & see if his tune changes a little? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Finally! The people you agree with are old enough to have facebook profiles! Life is looking up :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 The worst one could manage around here is "You sound like Mum (or Dad) when you say that." That will shut any of us up :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 "It's nice to know that my ___-year-old daughter and my ___-year-old brother have the same maturity level!" I like that one. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Is he like this with peers, others, in general? Has his humor and jokes and interaction matured in other relationships? Is it possible he's "stuck" in adolescent boy mode in life and that it's not personal? While I can see the passive/aggressiveness of it, is it possible he's trying to banter, to establish a connection to "reach out" to you? I agree it's not productive, kind or appropriate; but do we know it's automatically hostile vs. inept? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 is it possible he's trying to banter, to establish a connection to "reach out" to you? my brother and I are like this: immature sarcastic comebacks are a staple, but we're both cool with it and enjoy the banter. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhM Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Is he like this with peers, others, in general? Has his humor and jokes and interaction matured in other relationships? Is it possible he's "stuck" in adolescent boy mode in life and that it's not personal? While I can see the passive/aggressiveness of it, is it possible he's trying to banter, to establish a connection to "reach out" to you? I agree it's not productive, kind or appropriate; but do we know it's automatically hostile vs. inept? I've never read his comments to be overtly hostile, but they seem definitely passive/aggressive. It's possible it's nothing more than ineptness, but I have a hard time reading any affection beneath the banter - especially since ignoring it and trying to engage in conversation rarely causes him to stop. And it often is a prelude to one-upmanship. At 42, I'm simply tired of playing the straight man, iykwim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 (edited) I'd say 'LOL! So true!" I mean, dh and I know we're dorks raising dorks, so yk, yeah. I wouldn't see the point in devasating a sibling. I know I wouldn't want my kids to hurt each other, no matter what. Everyone has their own baggage, needs, hurts and histories, and I wouldn't want them to take it out on each other. Edited December 8, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I wouldn't lower myself to responding in kind. I'd ignore it or block him and if it really bugs you, talk to him about it in person. If you engage his banter, you look just as immature as he does, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom3tn Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I'm thinking that if you respond with a comeback, he'll just have something else to say and it'll become an insult war until you ignore it... So why not just go ahead and ignore it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Thats the thing about FB. When you put something out there you leave yourself open to any kind of comment. It may have seemed like a funny joking status so people might have thought it humorous then wanted to be funny back. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. Its FB nothing should be deep on FB IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I'd say 'LOL! So true!" I agree with Laurie. Even if it's hurtful, the best way to defuse snide behavior is to laugh and agree. It's what anti-bully counselors teach picked on kids to do. It takes the wind right out from under the snarkster, making it obvious to everyone that hears (or reads) the exchange that one of you is grown-up while the other is still twelve-years-old inside. Yet it doesn't involve insulting him at all. My dad used to call it killing them with kindness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Me either. I went right to "Grow up, grow up, everytime I look at you I throw up." OK this just MADE MY DAY!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 You could always tell him it runs in the family. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Knoll Mom Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I wouldn't lower myself to responding in kind. I'd ignore it or block him and if it really bugs you, talk to him about it in person. If you engage his banter, you look just as immature as he does, kwim? You can block him from being able to make comments on your fb posts without defriending or blocking (if that's the route you want to go.) Settings-->Privacy Settings-->Profile-->Profile Information-->Comments on Posts-->Custom-->Brother's name. Once you've done that, he'll be able to see everything on your page, but there won't be a place for him to comment. If he wants to say something to you he'll have to write on your wall or send you a message. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 "Hey bro, I've always known you were a clown (or twit, whichever you choose). I'm sure I can find plenty of people to agree with me." Should probably ignore him though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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