So Who Do Women Dress For??? s/o on Cleavage thread

[HRAAB]

Do women dress for men, to attract them, excite them and all that. Or do we dress for other women, to show them up, to be the most stylish. Or do we just dress for ourselves, for comfort.

 

Years ago when I worked in an office, I think I dressed to look better than the other women. I really didn't consider the men who came into our office. I just wanted to look the best among the women, I wanted to look more professional, be better dressed. I now dress for comfort. I'm totally for comfort. Since I rarely leave the house, the only people looking at me are children and dh. If I have on sweat pants or sloppy jeans, I will change before I run to the store - usually neat jeans or a skirt. I feel better about myself if I look neat when I'm out in public.

 

So, for whom do we dress?

 

Janet

[Tammy]

When I worked....I wore a uniform...so I didn't have to worry about dressing for anyone, LOL.

 

I think I dress just to fit in with my friends....not trying to 'outdo' them...but just trying to stay in fashion (which is jeans and usually a spaghetti top - remember I am in S. Florida, LOL).

 

I am not a big fashion person though....I hate going clothes and shoe shopping.

 

.

[Trixie]

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. ;)

[LG Gone Wild]

All 3 of those things at once. Which is why it is so impossible for me to get dressed.

[Karen in CO]

I dress to be comfortable - running clothes for running, skiing clothes for skiing, jeans and t-shirts for daily life, nice jeans and a button up shirt for work because I often have to crawl under floor tiles, a cute dress for going out. When I worked in an office and met with clients, then I dressed differently for different clients - more conservative for military clients, nicer and dressier for NY city clients, a little more leg for those lecherous clients especially when we were a little behind schedule. Right now, at 11am on a Monday morning - I'm in flannel jammies. :D

[Crissy]

I cannot speak for other women, but I dress for the situation, not for any person. I want my clothing to be appropriate to the event, and if other people find my dress stylish or attractive, I guess that's a bonus.

[mommaduck]

Depends on the woman. Personally, I think most dress for themselves first, other women second, and men third ;) Most, not all. Age, maturity, personal issues all play a role in the order no doubt.

 

Take it to lingerie...honestly, how many men really care about the silky little outfit? They are probably just thinking about the quickest way to get it out of the picture to get to the real goods. Women buy pretty lingerie even if they aren't in a relationship. So my guess is that most women buy it for themselves. It makes them feel pretty, sexy, comfy, whatever.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[mommaduck]

I dress for myself. So that I don't get cold. :001_smile:

So that would be a "cleavage non"? :lol:

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Danestress]

I want to look reasonably nice when DH comes home, so I guess on some level I dress for him. But I know I won't see him all day, and I still tend to try to look acceptable when I go out during the day. I guess I am sort of dressing for other women - not to show them up, but because I don't want to project that I am incompetent and because my mother always looked nice and I don't want to run into her at the grocery looking like a slob.

 

I think your question alone generated some thoughts about women for me. If we dress "for ourselves" why would that be about comfort only and not also about beauty? Don't we deserve to have beauty in our lives and not just comfort? Maybe for some women, comfort would be the priority, but others would dress "for themselves" and that would be about how it makes them feel to dress beautifully apart from what anyone else sees.

 

And if we dress for other women, why would that be about showing them up and not because we want approval or to reflect beauty or to show joy? When I go to another woman's house, if I dress nicely, I honestly don't think it's about competition and being "better." I tend to just think it's respectful to make some effort in personal appearance and also that "making a good impression" is culturally important - not so that you can compete but because people really do judge women by how they look and I think people look down on women who are unkept. I know people treat me differently when I look nicer.

 

I am getting to an age when it would be foolish to try to always compare myself to other women and I don't really expect to turn men's heads. But I still sometimes want to look nice. I don't always, but often I do. I think it's more about wanting to reflect a sense of personal pride and avoid the impression of being a slob, and in some ways, this is probably more about hair and makeup for me than clothes. "Nice" doesn't mean "dressy." There are women who can look really cute in sweats. I am not one of them, lol, but I can look a lot better in workout clothes if I have makeup on and my hair fixed a little. It's also about shoes. I never feel pretty in tennis shoes. But some when can dress very casually and still just somehow look like they have it together.

[Tree House Academy]

I dress for comfort most of the time. I am jeans and t-shirt gal. When I dress up, it is generally because I have to or because I want to dress for my husband. The only other time I dress up is to go to church and that is out of respect for God's house. :)

[jujsky]

All of the above, although I wouldn't say it's to show up other women so much as I dress to fit in with other women (you know, so they look at me and think, "She looks nice," instead of, "She looks like a frumpy slob."). Comfort is an important factor for me, and so is dressing to get a reaction out of DH. He works hard all day -- he deserves to come home to someone who looks decent. I admit that I also dress to be attractive to men. No, I don't mean to make men want me so they'll leave their wives, but it does give me an ego-boost when I know someone is checking me out. I'm not a harlot, and I'm very happy and secure in my marriage, so I'm not lacking in male attention or anything. It's just nice to know that people find me attractive outside of the own microcosm of my family. When I feel attractive, I feel more self-confident, and that's never a bad thing.

[KidsHappen]

Depends on the woman and where she is in her life. As a teen, I dressed to attract the boys. As a working woman, I dressed to look professional. As a mom, I dress for comfort. And as a wife, I sometimes don't dress at all. ;) I can't really say that I gave other women much thought at all.

[HRAAB]

 

I think your question alone generated some thoughts about women for me. If we dress "for ourselves" why would that be about comfort only and not also about beauty? Don't we deserve to have beauty in our lives and not just comfort? Maybe for some women, comfort would be the priority, but others would dress "for themselves" and that would be about how it makes them feel to dress beautifully apart from what anyone else sees.

 

You brought up a good point here. I value being comfortable, but I also like beauty. That little feminine, romantic touch. I love long flowing, full skirts; my first thought is that they are comfortable. But they are also pretty, and I like that.

 

And if we dress for other women, why would that be about showing them up and not because we want approval or to reflect beauty or to show joy? When I go to another woman's house, if I dress nicely, I honestly don't think it's about competition and being "better." I tend to just think it's respectful to make some effort in personal appearance and also that "making a good impression" is culturally important - not so that you can compete but because people really do judge women by how they look and I think people look down on women who are unkept. I know people treat me differently when I look nicer.

 

I was thinking back to when I was in my 20's, before children. The women in my office were quite competitive, even about their dress. There was definitely some competition going on, and I got sucked into it. When I left the workforce, I swore off pantyhose and make-up. Now I finally find occasionally wearing make-up, depending on where I'm going. When I'm out, I do like to look at neat. Even if it's jeans, I put on clean ones with a nice top or sweater and neat shoes - not tennis shoes. It does make me feel better about myself, I know people aren't looking at me and thinking 'sloppy', and I'm still comfortable.

 

I am getting to an age when it would be foolish to try to always compare myself to other women and I don't really expect to turn men's heads. But I still sometimes want to look nice. I don't always, but often I do. I think it's more about wanting to reflect a sense of personal pride and avoid the impression of being a slob, and in some ways, this is probably more about hair and makeup for me than clothes. "Nice" doesn't mean "dressy." There are women who can look really cute in sweats. I am not one of them, lol, but I can look a lot better in workout clothes if I have makeup on and my hair fixed a little. It's also about shoes. I never feel pretty in tennis shoes. But some when can dress very casually and still just somehow look like they have it together.

 

So I guess dressing for yourself can mean several different things including comfort. What I'm picking up on this thread is that women, at least the women here, don't dress for men. Perhaps their husbands, but not for men in general. Maybe in the other thread it was young, unmarried girls the OP had seen? If we (women) dress for ourselves, then do we show cleavage for ourselves also?

 

Janet

[mommaduck]

That depends on what the temperature is!! :lol::lol:

:lol: Shoowee....bet you'd have to be hiding out in the boons if you were in SC in July! Just wear sandals...those fire ants are the pits!

[JenAL]

I dress for myself! I like to look good & feel good while being comfortable all at the same time.

[Impish]

Depends.

 

During the 'normal' day, I'm in jogging pants and a tshirt/sweatshirt.

 

I do make an effort to change before Wolf gets home into jeans and a more fitted shirt, put on a bit of lipgloss and mascara. He loves to see me put some effort into how I look for him.

 

If I'm going out with SpecialMama, jeans and a nice shirt/sweater.

 

If I'm going out with my husband, then its one of my dresses, either with plain sandals or my black 3 inch (or are they 4?) heels.

[coralloyd]

For myself and MY man.

[sunflowerlady]

I dress for myself in clothes that I deem to be attractive and appropriate to the occasion. Second, I try to dress in ways that would please my dh. Also, I appreciate comfort.

 

I do believe in modesty, but I think how that plays out is between a woman, her dh (if she is married) and God. The thing about men being visual plays both ways. If a man enjoys how a woman looks, that means I want my dh to enjoy how I look. As his wife, I want him to look at me as beautiful and desirable. I see nothing ungodly about it.

[christielee7278]

I dress for myself in clothes that I deem to be attractive and appropriate to the occasion. Second, I try to dress in ways that would please my dh. Also, I appreciate comfort.

 

I do believe in modesty, but I think how that plays out is between a woman, her dh (if she is married) and God. The thing about men being visual plays both ways. If a man enjoys how a woman looks, that means I want my dh to enjoy how I look. As his wife, I want him to look at me as beautiful and desirable. I see nothing ungodly about it.

 

:iagree: I was going to say the exact same thing. :D

[OnTheBrink]

I dress for me. I'm not particularly fashionable (but I did just get some adorable Doc Martens last week. LOVE THEM!), but I don't want to look obviously out of place, either.

 

I wear relaxed fitting jeans or capris, skirts that go past my knee, tops with either a crew neck or V neck (but not plunging). I would probably qualify as frumpy, tbh (except for my Docs, which are adorable, btw. Did I mention that?)

 

I don't go out clubbing or anything like that, so I don't have clothes that people wear to such places.

 

I mainly dress for comfort and warmth.

[smrtmama]

I dress for a mix of practicality and attractiveness (to myself, more than anyone else). I like to see myself looking nice. I like noticing my reflection and thinking, "I look great today!" I don't need to be sexy, hip, or pretty for others -- I want to look like that for ME! That said, it needs to work with three kids and an active lifestyle, so no skinny high heels or skinny jeans, no short skirts or dry-clean-only tops.

[TravelingChris]

I dress mostly for myself and while I don't choose uncomfortable clothes, I don't wear particularly comfort clothes since those would be things like pajamas or nightgowns or other comfort clothing. I also dress for the occasion. So since I teach class to high schoolers in co-op, I want to look more professional so that is a skirt and shirt, for me. I also tend to dress up to go to regular doctor or dentist appointments (not when I had a rush trip to the ER with cellulitis). But what I mean that I dress for myself is that I choose colors I like. I hate to wear drap clothing and so unless it is gray, I don't. I do like wearing grey since it contrasts very nicely with my hair and face coloring and I also wear some contrasting jewelry or something else with color.

[Guest Katia]

I dress totally for "me" for all occasions and all situations.

 

Each day is different and each day's activities are different. Whatever the day holds, I choose how I want to look for that occasion or activity.

 

For example:

 

Our church is super casual in dress, and even the older (as in 60-90yo bunch) comes in slacks in winter and capris in summer. But *I* usually choose to wear a skirt or gauchos, because *I* feel pretty in them and *I* like to dress-up for church. No matter that most of the ladies think that I think I'm 'better-than' them because of how I dress.....that's not it at all and they don't get it. I dress for *me*.

 

Some days I go to the store in stretch slacks and an over-sized t-shirt because I want to feel comfy that day. Some days I don't go anywhere but I wear nice slacks and a nice shirt (sometimes it even shows some cleavage!) because I want to feel good about myself that day, and I know that dh will appreciate coming home and seeing me that way.

 

I don't give a flip about other men or other women and how they perceive me or whatever. I dress for *me*. Period.

 

ETA: And I don't give a flip about how anyone else chooses to dress either. Sometimes I think someone looks good and sometimes I don't think so, but I don't say anything or judge anyone because how they dress is their choice. If they like what they are wearing....good for them!

Edited October 5, 2009 by Katia

[dhudson]

I do enjoy looking nice and up to date so I guess I dress for myself but I do think about clothing that my dh will enjoy seeing me in. I used to dress really modestly without showing much shape but my dh expressed that he would like me to dress a little more attractively (while still maintaining modestly). I like knowing that I am attractive to him.;)

[Slartibartfast]

hi,

I have no idea what to wear. Recently I have dressed only for comfort but the end result is usually that I look weird or like a slob. I will hang on to a comfortable piece of clothing or pair of shoes until they are in tatters. In the past I have picked up my kids at school wearing clothes with obvious holes in them (I stopped doing that).

 

I see other women wearing clothes that are obviously designed to make them attractive, but then I get confused-- attractive for what or for whom? What's the point? Do they want to be attractive to themselves? To other women (to incite jealousy?)? To men? Which men and why? Do they want male attention just in a general sense? Are they prepared to deal with the onslaught, will they actually enjoy it?

 

Harlot!

[Mrs Mungo]

hi,

I have no idea what to wear. Recently I have dressed only for comfort but the end result is usually that I look weird or like a slob. I will hang on to a comfortable piece of clothing or pair of shoes until they are in tatters. In the past I have picked up my kids at school wearing clothes with obvious holes in them (I stopped doing that).

 

I see other women wearing clothes that are obviously designed to make them attractive, but then I get confused-- attractive for what or for whom? What's the point? Do they want to be attractive to themselves? To other women (to incite jealousy?)? To men? Which men and why? Do they want male attention just in a general sense? Are they prepared to deal with the onslaught, will they actually enjoy it?

 

The onslaught of what? Spam?

[Slartibartfast]

Spam Harlot!

[Nicole M]

Depends on the woman and where she is in her life. As a teen, I dressed to attract the boys. As a working woman, I dressed to look professional. As a mom, I dress for comfort. And as a wife, I sometimes don't dress at all. ;) I can't really say that I gave other women much thought at all.

 

I'm glad this thread was resurrected, because I missed this the first time round. I think this will have to go down in my book of top ten favorite WTM lines. Thank you!

[Crissy]

I see other women wearing clothes that are obviously designed to make them attractive, but then I get confused-- attractive for what or for whom? What's the point? Do they want to be attractive to themselves? To other women (to incite jealousy?)? To men? Which men and why?

 

And if they don't dress to make themselves attractive, are they purposefully dressing to be UN-attractive? Why? What is the point of that? Are they ashamed? Do they hate themselves? Do they want to be invisible so as to avoid jealousy? Do they hate men? Which men and why?

[Mrs Mungo]

And if they don't dress to make themselves attractive, are they purposefully dressing to be UN-attractive? Why? What is the point of that? Are they ashamed? Do they hate themselves? Do they want to be invisible so as to avoid jealousy? Do they hate men? Which men and why?

 

Crissy-this is a troll, don't waste your time. ;)

[Crissy]

Crissy-this is a troll, don't waste your time. ;)

 

I was trying to waste the troll's time with stupid questions.

[Mrs Mungo]

I was trying to waste the troll's time with stupid questions.

 

Ah, OK, never mind, LOL.

[Tangerine]

And if they don't dress to make themselves attractive, are they purposefully dressing to be UN-attractive? Why? What is the point of that? Are they ashamed? Do they hate themselves? Do they want to be invisible so as to avoid jealousy? Do they hate men? Which men and why?

 

I'm sorely tempted to make a list of which men I hate, and why. :tongue_smilie:

[Crissy]

I'm sorely tempted to make a list of which men I hate, and why. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

:lol:

 

Just keep that cleavage covered so the rest of us don't get jealous.

[Laura Corin]

I dress for myself, but not only for comfort. I do like to look nice for my husband too, but mostly I like to look nice for myself. I think I look good with a bit of cleavage showing.

 

Laura