When I feel like giving up on homeschooling, I...

[Chris in VA]

Today wasn't the greatest. Dd pulled an attitude (not a big one) so I slammed her Saxon math book shut, pulled out a piece of notebook paper, and said, "Ok, don't want to do math? You can do this instead." I wrote:

 

1. Wash the kitchen floor. Sweep it first, then get the bucket and mop. When you finish, put them in the garage.

 

2. Collect all the garbage around the house.

 

3. Take all the folded clothes upstairs (basement to top floor).

 

I stomped out of the room and she did. everything...nicely.

 

She asked if she could read when she was done, but I said we had school to do.

 

I thought about putting her on the bus tomorrow...my heart kinda crumbled.

 

So, what do you do when you SERIOUSLY think you can't homeschool anymore?

 

I admit some of my impatience was financially driven. I never yell at her or really get upset with her--truly, this was an exceptional day.

[Ginevra]

I think of how much I would miss learning things along with them, being on the same page in what they are learning, and just physically having them around. (Although sometimes I wish they were not physically around, kwim?) Also, I am currently having to help ds9 a LOT one-on-one, so sometimes I think of how much knowledge he would miss if he didn't have that advantage.

 

I'm planning to send my kids to high school as they come to that point, but when I reconsider, it's usually because I wish I was going to be doing Life of Fred Geometry, or some other great program for high school age! :D

[Sputterduck]

Take a break! That's one awesome thing about homeschooling that I just love. If there is something wrong, you can take time off and just hang while you are dealing with whatever else is going on in your life. Get back to it next week.

[nono]

So, what do you do when you SERIOUSLY think you can't homeschool anymore?

 

I bide my time. After the kids are in bed, I have my husband make me a martini. :tongue_smilie:

[Sue G in PA]

I don't know Chris, but you know my struggles with my ds8. While I don't think he'd do better in a ps, he certainly test my patience here at home. Some days he will actually sit at the table or on the floor in our kitchen, refusing to do his work...for hours at a time. :001_huh: His choice is do the work or sit. He will often choose to just sit...and will sometimes do his work after he has sat for hours. It confuses me to no end. Some days, I just throw up my hands and can't handle it. Yesterday we struggled for 2 hrs. with math. He's only on Sing. 1B so it is NOT too hard for him. I wish I had a magic forumula. I wish I had some good advice. Perhaps a :grouphug: will have to do. I know that around here, ds8 is not allowed snack, tv, video games, friends, playtime, outside time (unless it is work-related or running around the house to get his crazies out), dessert, etc. unless he has completed his work for the day. And as I said, some times I just give up and we read or watch a video or go to the library or what have you. Sorry you are dealing with this.

[Impish]

So, what do you do when you SERIOUSLY think you can't homeschool anymore?

 

I think of how bad public school was for Diva. That's usually all it takes. If that's not enough, I call SpecialMama and have a total fit while she 'mmhhhmmmm's her way through, until I'm calm enough to listen to reason :lol:

 

In one 'never to be forgotten' episode, I called her ranting about how at least if Wolf and I divorced I'd be guaranteed every other weekend off.

 

Yeah. Everything piled up, and that actually seemed like a bonus situation :blink::o

[TammyinTN]

Honestly...I stop and go do something else. Cleaning is therapy for me and no one gets hurt expect the floors when I mop. ;)

[mama2cntrykids]

I just envision them actually being away from me all day, 5 days per week. If that doesn't help (which it almost ALWAYS does) I have a list of reason's that we HS on it. I read it! The main thing is that I feel greatly called by the Lord to HS and I take comfort in that.

[melissel]

I come here :D Seriously, there have been so many times that reading about others' struggles or horrid PS experiences or awesome homeschool days have reminded me why I'm in this, and that I'm not alone.

[Barbara in NH]

I agree with what many others have said, take a break, maybe take off for a week or a few days. For me being outside is very renewing, I will take a walk. Plan for a hike or a field trip or drive, something totally different that breaks the cycle and changes the dynamic.

 

Sometimes doing something for me or a date w/my husband puts everything into perspective. If finances are an issue it doesn't have to be costly, just a break or a "happy" for you. The time with my husband, even going for a cup of coffee, (maybe a friend could trade off w/you to watch your daughter) gives me an "insider--but not there doing the homeschooling" perspective that's helpful.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself, we all have days. If it happens and I know it was me, I usually appologize to my children, give them a hug and we start over. (The hug helps me alot too!)

 

Warmly,

 

Barbara in NH

[Maria from IN]

When my son pulls an attitude, he does housework too. I figure if he doesn't want to do his work, he'll never learn, and cleaning up after people is one of the few things left that he'll be able to do without an education beyond the nth grade.:001_smile:

[Desert Rat]

When I get to that point, we forget it. Really. I close the books and put them away. We play a game or watch a movie if it really is all of us in a foul mood.

Now, if it's just me, I try some yogic breathing patterns and muscle through the day.

If it's just them, I tell them to go outside and run off some energy (if that's possible) or go their seperate rooms for quiet time. Then I find something that needs a good scrub and go to town. Then we try again later.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and your daughter!

[MamaT]

Usually if I feel that way and start to get snappy with the kids, it is because I am overwhelmed and extremely tired. I take a nap. I go, go, go all the time and sometimes I simply need to shut down and sleep. It is amazing how different things look after I've had some rest.

[sleepymommy]

I needed this thread, thanks for posting it Chris.

 

We've only just begun, but there have already been a few moments that I just wanted to scrap it. But in retrospect, I'm learning a lot about how ds1 thinks and it's very enlightening.

[Denisemomof4]

DAILY I regret putting my boys in PS. The ONLY positive outcome is that they both have a great group of friends.

 

I will never view school as an option for my girls. If I'm too sick to school them, we'll do something online. As long as I have the strength to get to their co-ops and activities, they will always be schooled at home.

 

I won't address the school/attitude issue right now because my brain is too fried. I'm sure you've already gotten great advice.

[sunshine]

Just to let you know I hate Saxon math, but don't throw tomatoes at me because I hate math...period. On days like that I say Field Trip in my head and we go somewhere. On the ride we do multiplication drills. When we get there I try to explain in a non combative stance, what the concept was we got stuck on. Hug her, tell her I hate math and tell her she has to do math because the law says so. And since I would get in trouble for breaking the law, she has to do math.

 

Now that is just me. I am kinda dramatic.

 

If we are too broke for the gas to go anywhere, we bake something fattening and sit outside or on the floor.

 

I hate housework too.

 

but you can homeschool your child. I promise.

[Rhonda in TX]

It was just horrible. I called a fellow homeschooling friend and literally cried on the phone with her. Then, I got off the phone, talked to my errant child, apologized for how I had reacted, then called off school for the rest of the day. There were consequences for their actions (no video games), but I showed mercy by reinstating an art class with the same friend I called. (I had called her to cancel) I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and prayed to do better next time. (and there will be a next time)

[forevergrace]

I don't know how long you have been hs, but, for us any major changes in routine throws dd in a tail-spin. She had three weeks off at the end of August, for summer camp, and it was murder for about a week starting back up. I literally call dh at work crying, after I told dd that if her behavior didn't change there would be huge consequences. She sat at the kitchen table, looked me straight in the eye and said, "really, just what consequence could you possibly give me, I'm not doing my work consequence or not!"

 

Last year after Christmas break, we were again in turmoil. I threatened dd w/ps, I then went outside to our garden room to cool off. I was in the middle of sneaking a cigarette and looked up at the window, and there dd was. I screamed, (she scarred the crap out of me) dd proceeded to open the door w/backpack on, and told me she was ready to go to school.

 

She lasted a week, and couldn't handle the crowed, noisy classroom. She had the audacity to be appalled that the children would not listen or respect the teacher. Teacher told us that dd was the most well mannered, polite child she had, had in her classroom in years. Quick moral: Be really careful what you threaten with. I was thrilled she wanted to be back at home. I really didn't realize how much I would miss her little face, and just having her around everyday.

 

Thinking of you,

Forevergrace

[Chris in VA]

Oh geez, I just love the rebellious remarks! lol

Yes, it's a grace to have them around, I know.

 

Today is better so far. Thanks for all the support, y'all.

Now to figure out the financial aspect!

More dependence on God.

[homeschoolally]

about the state of public education. Since private school is out of the question for us, public would be our only option.

The last one I read was 'None Dare Call it Education' by John A. Stormer--a little dated (written in late 90's) but eye-opening to say the least.

[LibraryLover]

...I try to remember that learning happens all the time, no matter what we do. (and sometimes in spite of or despite). An 8 yr old has far better things to do, and other ways to learn math than through Miquon or Saxon etc.

[Rosy]

Hang in there, Chris! The money bit is hard. The sacrifices are worth it, but that doesn't mean they aren't sacrifices.

 

Sometimes we'll take the day off, or even the week. Sometimes we do something fun together (baking, playground, etc.). Sometimes I need to get out of the house for the evening.

 

I think about what I get to teach them that they wouldn't learn in school. I think about families we know that homeschooled all the way through and lived to tell about it and are doing great things with their lives. I come here. I call a homeschooling friend and gripe. I think about the logistical nightmare of having one in school and homeschooling the rest.

 

One time when it was particularly bad (we had just moved into a great school district and I wondered if public kindergarten might be better than schooling 3 kids at once), I told my husband, "Please tell me we're not sending M. to public school." He said, "We're not sending M. to public school." And that was that. :) He went on to remind me of why it's good that we're doing what we're doing.

[lulubelle]

I try to remember that the relationships I and my kids are building are far worth it all!

[Elizabeth Conley]

I simply recall my own substandard public school education and what life was like when they went to school, and get back to work.

 

We tried a private school. We tried public school. I volunteered so exhaustively I was working longer and harder than I do now as a homeschooler.

 

The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. There's nothing there but a toxic waste dump.

 

For some reason my 5th grader forgot 80% of the multiplication facts he had "mastered" last year. 2 months off this summer, and it's as if the information leaked out of his ear onto his pillow on a hot summer's night. Truly, there's a part of me that wants to cry, or simply give up. The other part of me realizes that I'm lucky to be the teacher. Someone else would condemn him, condemn "the bad parent" or simply write my son off as stupid. I just spent the last hour writing out a new set of flash cards. Here we go again. In a week we'll be back on track. Maybe this time the facts will stay with him. Maybe they won't. No matter what, we'll deal with it promptly and effectively.

[KidsHappen]

Today wasn't the greatest. Dd pulled an attitude (not a big one) so I slammed her Saxon math book shut, pulled out a piece of notebook paper, and said, "Ok, don't want to do math? You can do this instead." I wrote:

 

1. Wash the kitchen floor. Sweep it first, then get the bucket and mop. When you finish, put them in the garage.

 

2. Collect all the garbage around the house.

 

3. Take all the folded clothes upstairs (basement to top floor).

 

I stomped out of the room and she did. everything...nicely.

 

She asked if she could read when she was done, but I said we had school to do.

 

I thought about putting her on the bus tomorrow...my heart kinda crumbled.

 

So, what do you do when you SERIOUSLY think you can't homeschool anymore?

 

I admit some of my impatience was financially driven. I never yell at her or really get upset with her--truly, this was an exceptional day.

 

Chris if this was an exceptional day them I think you did an excellent job. That was a very creative solution. The only thing that I would have done different is to have skipped the school work afterwards and let her read. This would only become a problem if it happened more frequently and she actually preferred cleaning to school work.

 

As you know, parenting is a challange and there are so many worse things that you could be dealing with. If you are committed to continuing to homeschool her then shrug it off and start anew tomorrow but if it ever comes to a point where you are seriuosly considering putting her in PS, then PM me and I can offer support in that area as well.

 

In any case, I hope you have a better day today. I know it hard and your plate is full right now but try not to let it get you down. :grouphug:

[teragram]

I once read something about how powerful teaching by example can be. I was expecting a baby soon and was not feeling confident about my teaching ablility for the school year with a new baby on the way. I knew my patience would be running low. Then I cut and pasted this into my "motivate me file."

"...What does my example daily teach my children? Do I spend more time considering my example—or considering curriculum choices? More time on lesson plans or the plans of my own heart? If my example were the only resource my children had to study from the next quarter, what would they learn? ..."

I pass this on as encourgement that how we react to bad school situations can be a better lesson for our kids than actually finishing the Saxon math page at the moment. Keep the faith...we're ALL learning everyday. (BTW, I really liked your alternative cleaning list. I think you handled it great.)

[dcjlkplus3]

I remind myself that we would be having these same issues if they went to school (more heart issues with my kids), but then we would be dealing with them after they had been at school for 6 hours everyday.

 

Then I call my husband, make sure he won't be home too late, call the day done until Daddy is home and let him finish with them. The change of pace helps them and the time between lets everybody have some much needed quiet time before hand.