Will you be ready for the "next phase" after homeschooling?

[Stacie]

I still have quite a few years to go but I ask this because of another mother who joins our groups and social circles regularly. Her children are grown, she has two very young grandchildren. She comes to our Mom's Nights Out, our playdates, and our group classes where we trade off teaching. She presents herself to newcomers as a homeschooling mom until she's questioned about which ones are her children, then she 'fesses up. ;)

 

Half the time we don't mind her because she's a very sweet person. However, as is the case with most everything, time tends to blur the yucky stuff and she presents herself as a "know-it-all homeschooling goddess." It's quite annoying and many people are laughing at her behind her back. Her curriculum recommendations come from years back prior to revisions and new products. When one of us mentions something along the lines of juggling housework, homeschooling, church, parenting, etc. her dismissive statements about how she NEVER had these issues with her kids are honestly making people angry. She even made one mom feel terrible about letting her kids learn to walk barefoot and not in the hard-sole shoes of days gone by until the rest of us came to the defense of the mom.

 

This isn't about advice but to question if you'll be moving to the next stage in your life or if you're hanging on to the most familiar thing. Me, I'm moving on baby!!! :D

[BillieBoy]

That's a really scary and sad story. A lesson is to be learned here. As with any title or role you play, don't loose your identity. I hope I will be able to stand at the top of a mountain with an "I did it" flag, scream at the top of my lungs, then hike up and over to the next hill needing to be climbed with another mission to accomplish.

[mellifera]

I'll be moving on.

[mollies73]

Well, I sure hope I'll move on. I just hope that if I don't, someone will kick me in the pants.

[MIch elle]

I CAN'T wait to get a job! But hopefully only a part-time job until my dc are in college. I have 2 more years of homeschooling before I can move on. :D

[Stacie]

Well, I sure hope I'll move on. I just hope that if I don't, someone will kick me in the pants.

 

:lol: DH and I joke around that when the youngest has his graduation party someone will ask him, "Where's your mom?"

 

He'll say, "She's retired now and on a golf course somewhere." :)

[Sophia]

The saddest thing about that is it seems she is trying to be a mentor to younger moms, but (yikes!) you'd hope she would have learned some humility herself by now.

I would have appreciated a Titus 2 woman in my life when my older dc were younger, but not a "know-it-all."

 

Well, she's a lesson for the rest of us I suppose.

 

My youngest is only three, so it'll be awhile before I move on.

:D Yea!

[JFSinIL]

I'll find out in a few days - all my kids are off to school next week, as the youngest enters 7th grade...I plan to spend time research out house and the neighborhood at the historical society.

[hillfarm]

My dd is 10. Dh asked me this summer if I had given any thought to what I would want to do with my life after we finished homeschooling. Since then I have given it some thought and have some ideas. He asked because she will be starting 6th grade, which is middle school in our area, and he was thinking toward when she was doing more high school work and would be more self reliant even while still doing homeschooling. He suggested that I be on the lookout for good volunteer opportunities in our area that would help position me for my "dream job" in a few years.

 

I thought that was insightful of him, if just a couple of years premature. I will be praying about this and pondering for the next couple of years and then perhaps begin volunteering when dd gets to the hs level. It would be nice to be able to go in for a job interview and rather than saying that I had been a homeschooling housewife for the last 12 years (which WE know takes tremendous powers of concentration, organization, and ability is sadly not universally recognized as such in the business world), be able to say that I worked my way up in this or that volunteer organization and spearheaded this or that big project. Trying to think proactively!

[dirty ethel rackham]

I have 9 years to go on that. I know that I will still be hanging with my old homeschooling friends (because many of my homeschooling friends have already graduated their children and we still get together). However, I can't see that I will have the time to be interfering in other people's lives because I will be busy interfering in my kids' lives ... Okay - I hope not. But, I do expect will be busy working to earn money to help pay college expenses and add to that retirement nest egg.

[NavyWifeandMommy]

My baby is only 4 so if we keep going itwill be awhile. I do plan to get out all my sewing/knitting stuff out and get ready for the grandchildren. I will also be doing lots more cooking and baking. I would like to help out in the Sunday Schools or PWOC (bible studies on bases). I don't see myself going back to work, I like being home. Maybe she really thinks she is helping and just comes off in a wrong way? Maybe she is shy to move on and meet people shedont know. I dont have that issue, I have to meet new people because we move every few years.

[elegantlion]

In a previous portion of my life I worked for a vet for 5 years. I knew a lot about veterinary medicine, had seen it all and then some, and was frequently stopped in public by clients for advice.

 

I have since moved, it's been 16 years since I worked there and I still have family that calls for advice. Unless it's a basic question I have to remind them I've been out of the loop for so long I don't have a clue what new trends and advances have been made. I feel homeschooling will be a similar thing, although no one is stopping me on the street for advice.

 

Unless I'm writing curriculum (Alex Rider geography/culture course?) or staying on top of the homeschooling trends for another reason, I see myself moving away and into other interests. It's part of my life but it doesn't DEFINE my life.

[Blueridge]

I think of that new season of life from time to time. I fear that so much of my identity is tied up in being *homeschool mom* that I may loose myself. I'm working on that by exploring other interests, too. My dh sees us in some kind of mentoring role, like maybe getting an RV and going from curriculum fair to fair and talking to people. I see us getting an RV and hitting the road for retirement fun! Ditch all this curriculum...I have so much stuff, I could open a store. I think I will need to move on. RV included. I'll take hubby but he has to behave (except for the obvious!). And cash...lots of cash...for shopping...but not for curriculum! :D

[Satori]

Interesting thought. I don't think I'll turn into that lady though.

 

I have quite a long time to go, as I'm just starting, my dd is 4. But I already have ideas of how my life would go after homeschooling. I plan on really getting into photography, perhaps starting a children portraiture biz, or maybe just traveling and doing nature photography. I definitely want to travel more. Do lots of geocaching. :) I better be running or hiking almost everyday in the mountains when I have my freedom.

[2cents]

I'll be moving on! I have so many cool things I want to do after hsing. I want to get some fun hobbies and learn new things. :D

[Carol in Cal.]

but I really liked parent coop preschool and attachment parenting and skiing and hiking and weaving and singing and all kinds of other things that I don't do anymore. I imagine that when I am finished homeschooling I will do one or more of those again, and that I will do some actual entertaining, and that I will join a community choir and continue my fulltime job. I know that I'll always be a better advocate for education and for parents' rights, having homeschooled, and that my grammar knowledge will always be better than it was before, and that I'm just better educated in general. But I won't play wannabee. No way.

[ConnieB]

Two of my daughters have been saying for a couple years now that they want me to homeschool their children (they both have elaborate plans for a very active career, one a writer of best selling novels, the other the actress that will star in the movie version of those novels, lol)....and so they realize that they won't have the ability to homeschool but want it for their kids.

 

So, me.....I'm already collecting/keeping curriculum to use with my grandchildren. I just hope that I don't give them an outdated education with my saved curriculum, lol.

 

It sounds to me like the OP's lady is a very lonely very sad woman. Kinda like the movies about the has-been actress who doesn't quite realize that she's not on top anymore. This woman must have felt that her worth was derived from her motherhood and/or teaching, and that now that she has neither she hasn't quite found her worth for this phase of her life. I find that quite sad, and a tad bit scary for me, since so much of my life and my personality are wrapped tightly in the homeschooler that I am....will I be able to find the real me, maybe the "old" (not age but before kids) me. And will I still like that person?

 

Or, as my husband would say "she needs a life".

[SapphireStitch]

I read an article by Nancy Wilson (wife of Doug Wilson from Canon Press) where she said (I'm paraphrasing) that the good thing about older women encouraging younger women is that older women remember the principles and the heart behind mothering, but usually have forgotten a lot about exact methods. (I don't remember whether her point was that older women forget because of age, or whether she meant that older women have the wisdom to realize the heart is more important than the method.)

 

At any rate, I find myself getting to that point already even though I have one child still to get through school before I can move to the next phase. Between perimenopause and fibromyalgia I'm doing good to remember what curriculum I'm using now, let alone what I used in earlier years. I know when I talk to younger moms about their babies, I can remember distinctly a few big choices I made in child rearing...but a lot of details are already fuzzy.

 

So, I guess my hope is that by the time I'm done homeschooling, I'll be so fuzzy-brained that I just smile and encourage and don't try to make people do things my way. :) I don't really see myself wanting to go hang out at support group meetings, either...I just want to have free time to do needlework and read and take naps and maybe hold some grandbabies!

[Pretty in Pink]

Hell. Yes. I will be moving on baby!

 

As with any title or role you play, don't loose your identity. I hope I will be able to stand at the top of a mountain with an "I did it" flag, scream at the top of my lungs, then hike up and over to the next hill needing to be climbed with another mission to accomplish.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[dhudson]

When I am done and my twins graduate I have a plan.....

 

 

I AM GOING TO DISNEYWORLD! My dh may come along if he wants but that's my plan and I plan to enjoy myself for several weeks. :lol:

[Jeannie in NJ]

our local schools always need homebound teachers so I may do some of that and then eventually I plan on being a very active and interesting Granny, Nana or Me-maw to my future grandchildren

[prairiegirl]

By the time my youngest is done schooling I will be 60, so probably the only 'moving on' I will be doing will be to the retirement home.

[ereks mom]

My youngest in in 9th grade, so the end of homeschooling approaching quicker than I imagined. My plan, for now, is to either:

 

 

• teach at the local Christian school (but they use ABeka exclusively, so maybe not)
  
• tutor/teach other homeschool kids
  

 

 

Either way, I'll be using my education degree and earning a paycheck again after all these years.

[Ellie]

Well, as a mother of dds 30 and 33, I could be her. :-)

[AuntieM]

I will be ready! I think I may have it pretty good, though, because I will get to "ease out," like a baby being weaned. My older three will leave me with my Jonny-come-lately, so I will go from schooling 3-4 down to just schooling one elementary kid for a while before being completely done.

 

And when I'm done, I'll be DONE! I will miss it, and treasure the memories, but I have a long list of pursuits that have been simmering on the back burner for years. I just hope my health holds up 'til they kids are all finished with me as their teacher!

[Plucky]

Yes, I'll be ready. Only 9 more years to go. I expect it to get easier as my other children go to college/fly the coop.

[Desert Rat]

My dh and I have had several discussions about life after homeschooling. I really wanted to know what his expectations of me were and what he saw me doing. Did he expect me to go back to work full-time? Those kind of questions. I anticipate keeping the friends I have made during this journey but I don't anticipate belonging to homeschooling groups anymore.

Maybe the sad lady from the OP is hoping to stay in the loop with the idea she'll homeschool grandbabies? Otherwise it really is just sad.

[Guest janainaz]

I have a ways to go, but I'll be moving on. I can see that it will come quicker than I even realize and that is why I am fully enjoying this season of my life.

[Moni]

question if you'll be moving to the next stage in your life

 

 

Homeschooling lost its novelty for me almost 20 years ago. ;)

 

But I think I will be just doing more of the same I am doing now....minus the homeschooling.

 

I don't foresee a sense of "moving on"

:seeya:

Edited August 23, 2009 by Moni

[Cindy in NY]

Well, as a mother of dds 30 and 33, I could be her. :-)

 

But Ellie, you may be a homeschool goddess, but you are never a know-it-all!

 

I have enjoyed your wisdom since the old Vegsource heyday and when I first found the WTM forum oh, so many years ago, I saw you were a poster and I knew I was in the right place.

 

There is a difference between a self-righteous know-it-all and a wise mentor.

[Stacie]

The saddest thing about that is it seems she is trying to be a mentor to younger moms, but (yikes!) you'd hope she would have learned some humility herself by now.

I would have appreciated a Titus 2 woman in my life when my older dc were younger, but not a "know-it-all."

 

Well, she's a lesson for the rest of us I suppose.

 

My youngest is only three, so it'll be awhile before I move on.

:D Yea!

 

 

Yes, a Titus 2 woman is a jewel. I hope that one day I will have the insight to mentor to women on this journey. However, I can't imagine ever injecting myself into situations in which I have nothing in common but for the fact that I once homeschooled. I will not be a self-designated mentor!

 

And my youngest is one so you'll be enjoying your "teacher's retirement" a couple of years before me. :)

[Stacie]

I thought that was insightful of him, if just a couple of years premature. I will be praying about this and pondering for the next couple of years and then perhaps begin volunteering when dd gets to the hs level. It would be nice to be able to go in for a job interview and rather than saying that I had been a homeschooling housewife for the last 12 years (which WE know takes tremendous powers of concentration, organization, and ability is sadly not universally recognized as such in the business world), be able to say that I worked my way up in this or that volunteer organization and spearheaded this or that big project. Trying to think proactively!

 

 

I agree that it is wise to plan for the time when I will tackle other interests. You have great insight into what your future may hold and the direction in which you'd like to go! Thanks for sharing.

[Stacie]

That's a really scary and sad story. A lesson is to be learned here. As with any title or role you play, don't loose your identity. I hope I will be able to stand at the top of a mountain with an "I did it" flag, scream at the top of my lungs, then hike up and over to the next hill needing to be climbed with another mission to accomplish.

 

 

I like your analogy. :) I like to think I have many identities/interests, and some are more predominant at different points of my life. A large mountain range to enjoy but one mountain at a time to conquer, maybe? :)