Wish Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Hi! Longtime member (At least, to me), and this is one of my first posts here. I'm more of a lurker than a poster, but I actually have a problem now. :glare: My 15-year-old DS just informed me during casual conversation that he plans to "change the world" someday. It doesn't seem to be a very clear plan, and he feels like he is "meant to do something" with his life. It isn't very well-thought-out, he seems to just want to wait until something needs to change or happen in the world and change it. :blink: How can I explain to him that everybody feels that way, but most of us grow out of it by the age of 15? He seems really intent on this, and I honestly can't think of anything to say. -Wish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Hi! Longtime member (At least, to me), and this is one of my first posts here. I'm more of a lurker than a poster, but I actually have a problem now. :glare: My 15-year-old DS just informed me during casual conversation that he plans to "change the world" someday. It doesn't seem to be a very clear plan, and he feels like he is "meant to do something" with his life. It isn't very well-thought-out, he seems to just want to wait until something needs to change or happen in the world and change it. :blink: How can I explain to him that everybody feels that way, but most of us grow out of it by the age of 15? He seems really intent on this, and I honestly can't think of anything to say. -Wish Why discourage it? Some people actually do become world changers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I'd call that idealism, not delusions of grandeur. Why do you want to talk him out of it? Maybe he WILL do something to change the world. Maybe he'll be an inventor or a teacher or a great leader. I think it's wonderful that he wants to do something meaningful with his life -- it seems like most 15 year old boys these days just want to design video games for a living. I'd encourage him to explore his interests and find his passion, and then pursue it. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I feel like my dd is growing INTO this at 15. I think by this age many teens have the skills and ideas and passion to do something REAL, but they are often held back by a society that treats them like children. THis is a constant frustration for my dd. Don't discourage your son- find out what he wants to do, what he CAN do, and channel his energy and idealism into something real! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 This sounds like my second son. He decided when he was 5 and began to be interested in politics, that he would be President someday. He is a very bright boy, has published some of his writings, and finished hs at 14. He joined the Marine Corp when he was 18 because he said he "felt called" to do so. He went up three ranks in one year, and was asked to join the general's staff, which he did before he was deployed to A-stan. I was on the phone with him after he got the job with the general and said jokingly, "Well, this will look good when you run for President." He answered seriously, "Yes, it will." :001_smile: I really thought he had outgrown that dream. Who knows, maybe he will run for President one day. Maybe your son will do something world-changing one day as well. I would just make sure he could focus on having a "real life" plan while he is waiting to change the world. One of my son's weaknesses was that his idealism got in the way of day-to-day "stuff." We stressed over and over to him as a teenager that you still have to do your math, make your bed, etc. while you're waiting to do something grand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 That sounds like normal teenage idealism. I would suggest that you help guide him into activities where he can make a positive difference and help boost his self esteem. Kids this age need tangible evidence that they can indeed make worthwhile contributions to the world (a job, volunteering, etc). What you don't want is for someone to prey on his vulnerability and his sense of idealism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I wouldn't discourage this at all - rather, I would talk to him a lot in casual conversations about the many different ways a person could "change the world." How people often change THEIR world by being the best they can be in whatever path they've chosen - with the focus being on making the world (ie. their workplace, their family, their neighborhood, etc) a better place, or volunteering their time to help others, etc. I was a "world changer" when I was a kid - and now, as a mom, well... I feel that I *am* changing the world. In my own way. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Hi! Longtime member (At least, to me), and this is one of my first posts here. I'm more of a lurker than a poster, but I actually have a problem now. :glare: My 15-year-old DS just informed me during casual conversation that he plans to "change the world" someday. It doesn't seem to be a very clear plan, and he feels like he is "meant to do something" with his life. It isn't very well-thought-out, he seems to just want to wait until something needs to change or happen in the world and change it. :blink: How can I explain to him that everybody feels that way, but most of us grow out of it by the age of 15? He seems really intent on this, and I honestly can't think of anything to say. -Wish I'm 32 and haven't grown out of it! I'm still trying to formulate my grand plan. In the meantime, I'm planting the seeds of idealism in my own kids and doing the small parts I can while raising them. If not us, then who? If not now, then when? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I would encourage it! What a wonderful ideal! I don;t think it means he feels he is incredibly special and going to be famous- just that his life has a purpose and he doesnt want his life to be wasted in shallowness and meaningless. I can totally relate and I always felt like that too. We all change the world just by being here. Some of us have a smaller sphere of influence than others but we all have an influence. Your job is just to help him keep his feet on the ground and realise his dreams, one step at a time. Believe in him! It means a lot to a kid to have their mum believe in them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 The world will teach him things - how hard you have to work for goals, how little you accomplish by sitting around waiting and thinking about how awesome you are, how much you really can change the world if you set your mind to it. He really doesn't need Mom to teach him these things. He has a lot left to learn, but if the lessons are going to be painful, why want to be the one to teach it? You can be kind and encouraging and be there for him as he struggles through these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Don't crush his dreams - maybe he will be a world-changer! One thing I do with my 16yo is discuss with him how his actions do not support his goals. A little realism is not a bad thing, but I focus on his actions rather than his dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I echo everyone else. If he is indeed meant for something great, do not discourage him now. As for "everyone" feeling this way as a kid/teen - well, he IS that age, so it is his turn to feel that way. I always HATED it when my mom would rain on my parade with "I already have been there, done that, so no big deal." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Hi! Longtime member (At least, to me), and this is one of my first posts here. I'm more of a lurker than a poster, but I actually have a problem now. :glare: My 15-year-old DS just informed me during casual conversation that he plans to "change the world" someday. It doesn't seem to be a very clear plan, and he feels like he is "meant to do something" with his life. It isn't very well-thought-out, he seems to just want to wait until something needs to change or happen in the world and change it. :blink: How can I explain to him that everybody feels that way, but most of us grow out of it by the age of 15? He seems really intent on this, and I honestly can't think of anything to say. -Wish A 15 year old with a sense of purpose? Why mess with that? I would encourage and focus and protect that kind of passion for life. I'm 42 and still haven't outgrown wanting to change the world. I never will. Everyday I'm teaching my son I'm changing "my" world. I'm working on other ways to change my world too. We may not all be able to be like a hero in a book and save an entire civilization on our own, but we can be a hero in our lives. Here a quote from Margaret Mead that I like: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.†These are a few of the resources I had read in the last few months that have inspired me: Book: Fahrenheit 451 - one of the most powerful books I have ever read. Do Hard Things - written by two brothers to help teenagers reach their potential (This book has christian content) - the also have a forum and blog to help other teenagers. Movies: Akeelah and the Bee Freedom Writers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I was on the phone with him after he got the job with the general and said jokingly, "Well, this will look good when you run for President." He answered seriously, "Yes, it will." :001_smile: That is so cool, Tammy! It sounds like he will be successful in whatever he chooses to do. :001_smile: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanie Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 A 15 year old with a sense of purpose? Why mess with that? I would encourage and focus and protect that kind of passion for life. I'm 42 and still haven't outgrown wanting to change the world. I never will. Everyday I'm teaching my son I'm changing "my" world. I'm working on other ways to change my world too. We may not all be able to be like a hero in a book and save an entire civilization on our own, but we can be a hero in our lives. Here a quote from Margaret Mead that I like: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.†These are a few of the resources I had read in the last few months that have inspired me: Book: Fahrenheit 451 - one of the most powerful books I have ever read. Do Hard Things - written by two brothers to help teenagers reach their potential (This book has christian content) - the also have a forum and blog to help other teenagers. Movies: Akeelah and the Bee Freedom Writers :iagree: Such wisdom, Paula! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonne Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 A 15 year old with a sense of purpose? Why mess with that? I would encourage and focus and protect that kind of passion for life. :iagree: Steve Jobs set out to "change the world" at a young age. Whether he's changed the world may be debatable, but he's certainly done a lot with his life! Hooray for your son if he's 15 and has such a desire! Cheer him on! Enough other people will be trying to rain on his parade. yvonne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 How can I explain to him that everybody feels that way, but most of us grow out of it by the age of 15? He seems really intent on this, and I honestly can't think of anything to say. -Wish #1 - not everyone feels that way. I have never felt that way. I've also never wanted to be in the spotlight like a celebrity. But I know there are people out there who feel that way. #2 - I can't imagine "most" people growing out of it by 15. The teen years are very idealistic. And this is when he's really getting his inspiration and momentum for choosing what he wants to do as he matures into an adult. It seems to me that you are infusing him with negative energy, something I think you might understand considering the words in your signature. #3 - I don't think he's abnormal for not having plans just yet. Think about what you're truly saying. You're worried that because a 15 year old child doesn't have a definite sort of plan for his life that he will likely amount to nothing. That's a great deal of pressure to put on anyone, let alone a not quite young adult. Relax and walk the journey with him. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Isn't that the purpose of our lives? To change the world in some way? To leave our mark upon it, to say, "We were here"? Even if its in a 'small' way, by raising children who are healthy adults in time, or in a larger global scale like being President. We all change the world in some way, even if its only by touching the lives of those around us. As parents, its our job to encourage our children to pursue those dreams. Heaven knows there's enough people out in the world ready to stomp on them. Help him to figure out how to change the world, and he will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 #1 - not everyone feels that way. I have never felt that way. I've also never wanted to be in the spotlight like a celebrity. But I know there are people out there who feel that way. #2 - I can't imagine "most" people growing out of it by 15. The teen years are very idealistic. And this is when he's really getting his inspiration and momentum for choosing what he wants to do as he matures into an adult. It seems to me that you are infusing him with negative energy, something I think you might understand considering the words in your signature. #3 - I don't think he's abnormal for not having plans just yet. Think about what you're truly saying. You're worried that because a 15 year old child doesn't have a definite sort of plan for his life that he will likely amount to nothing. That's a great deal of pressure to put on anyone, let alone a not quite young adult. Relax and walk the journey with him. :) I agree - I never felt that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Rather than "outgrowing" it, perhaps you could encourage him to *focus*. You're right, just waiting around for an opportunity to change the world to land in his lap is unlikely to work out. ;) *But* if he has any idea in what way he would like to aid or influence the world (medical advancement or service, legal reform in this country or elsewhere, political action, technological innovation, artistic achievement, etc, etc, etc), and the drive and ambition to focus, he just *might* change some aspect of the world. Why not encourage him to look at both his own natural gifts, and his heart -- what part of the world does he want to change, and how could he nurture his own strengths and shore up his weaknesses to make that a reality? Does he need to work harder on math and science? Should he learn more about the political system of his state and country, then comparative governments around the world? Are there local service projects and volunteer opportunities he could get involved in or initiate? I certainly think sitting on the sofa waiting for a world-changing opportunity to fall into his lap is foolish and childish. But that doesn't mean that ambition to change the world is either of those things! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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