:grouphug:Goodness, she is hurtful, manipulative, demanding and pushing your buttons like a pro.
Try reading the book Boundaries,by Cloud and Townsend. If you set some reasonable boundaries / limits what ever you want to call them, dealing with her can be less of a drama.
MD = your day with your hubby and kids...Have your dh call her, send a gift or what ever, but don't let them decided and demand what your family will do. BECAUSE YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO DO IT RIGHT! She is never going to reasonable, thankful or happy...
I'll send a big btdt for 20+years with a narcissistic mil... hug your way.