aggieamy Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I know we had an earlier thread on having special food on hand for guests at the holidays. What other things do you do to make your guests comfortable? We just moved so I'm getting our guest bedroom together. The way our house is laid out (traditional two story) the guest would share a bathroom with my daughter. For their privacy and convenience I am making my daughter use our bathroom while we have company. I am having my husband replace the blinds in the guestroom with a blackout curtain so it will be dark in there when they want to sleep. I am making a detailed menu plan for the week and going to the grocery store before they arrive. That way I hopefully won't be frantic and stressed at dinner time. I want to make sure they have a nice time and I get to spend time with them. Please share your tips and ideas here for being a good hostess during the holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 We set out bath towels for them and put an extra blanket or two in the room in case they need it. We check to see if they need another pillow. We also do the alarm clock for them. I try to have a couple of snack choices baked ahead of time and sitting around for folks so that they can munch as they feel like it and not feel confined just to our snack schedule. We make sure they know they are welcome to read any books or play any games that they would like and point out where they are located. There will be water heated and coffee on so they can have tea or coffee if they would like in the morning and always a couple choices for breakfast (usually I'll have fruit, cereal, pre-baked muffins and, depending on what else is going on, I might cook some oatmeal or fry some eggs if they would like those). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I think discussing schedule expectations is really helpful. Some people want to sit around chatting, others are all about activities and getting out to see the area or do traditional things. The kids' schedules can be helpful to explain, too. If you have different expectations it's easier to meet in the middle and be accommodating with a quick chat at the beginning of the stay. Keeping tea, coffee and fruit around is always cozy. If it's a stay of more than a couple of days, I like to be sure to accept offers to help set the table or whatever so they feel connected and useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Separate sleeping area and bath and TV--in basement for us. Bath stocked with basic toiletries, unopened toothbrush, extra towels Snacks/fruit readily available An understanding of schedules: when does guest like to get up, what sort of activities does guest plan to do, does guest plan to do stuff separate from host, does host expect guest to get around on own Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Keep an extra blanket in their room, just in case. Nothing like waking up in the middle of the night, cold, in a strange (in that it's not your own :)) home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Good suggestions. My thoughts run a little different as I have lived away from family and friends for twenty years and have been a traveling guest in many homes. Bathrooms. Make sure there is some space for them to put their travel bag as in their toiletry bag while they are showering. Hooks for their robes and towels. I really dislike having to put my toiletry bag on a toilet because the counter is full. We put in a bathroom here that we knew would be used by guests and I have hooks everywhere for robes and towels. Where do you want them to put their wet/used towels and wash cloths especially if they are going to be there a few days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 When we have company I post my planned menu on the fridge. Partly to remind me what the game plan is but also to let the guests know what to expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Strongly seconding the knowing what to expect thing... But I guess as a guest the number one thing I usually want is some flexibility. Example - once we arrived at mil's hungry. Can we eat? There will be pizza ordered in three hours. Do you have anything else for us? Pizza, three hours. Could it maybe be a little earlier since it's a hang out meal? Pizza, three hours. I had to go buy us a separate meal because the kids were melting down and I had a migraine coming. A ton of the pizza went to waste. :( Just, a little flexibility would have prevented that, putting out the salad right away, getting the pizza a little early, letting us eat from their ready-for-the-apocalypse stores of food in one of their three pantries... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 - Good bath towels, several (in our family we reuse towels for a few days, but not all folks do) - Extra toiletries (toothbrucs, toothpaste). And a hairdryer. - Extra pillows and blankets (and ask what temp they are used to for sleeping - not that you have to reset your thermostat, but so everyone has clear expectations) - An alarm clock - Magazines, esp. any about your area, and books - A tour of the laundry room, where they can do a load of their own or throw some in with yours - Water glasses (for something special, get a couple of cheap ones and paint their names on). Ditto coffee mugs. - Speaking of which - a tour of the coffee/tea fixings. (I have friends who are late sleepers, and always made sure I knew where the coffee stuff.) - Instructions on the TV remote. - An offer to use your computer to check email, if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shukriyya Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 For the room :: Nightlight option. Bottles of water for the night since cups of water get stale and and can be knocked over particularly in unfamiliar surroundings. Advil/Tylenol. They could ask you for some but this way they can take care of things without letting you know they may not feel 100%. For holiday guests who will be partaking of a large meal, some kind of digestive aid--herbal bitters, alka-seltzer, tums, peppermint tea. Yes, to the extra blankets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candicane Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 We didn't do much, unfortunately. I wonder if that made us bad hosts? lol We'd give them a set of towels and a bed with clean sheets. That was it. Sometimes we'd have coffee so they could make it (since none of us drink it) but nothing further than that. I spent most of my life sharing the bathroom that guests would use and it never caused any problems. We fed them, too but nothing extra special. Currently we don't have a guest room, or anywhere for anyone to sleep, so hopefully no one wants to come visit lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Yes on the night light option! We also have nice liquid soap in the shower so guest doesn't need to use our family bar soap. Bathroom cup. Flowers, assuming no allergy issues, in the room. For me the biggest thing is to have as much cooking done ahead so that I have more time to be with my guests. Yes on the flexible schedule! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 I'm loving reading all the ideas and tips. I haven't seen it mentioned but how about a chair in the guest room? I might see what I can find on craigslist today and pick one up! Right now we've got a bed, a nightstand, and one of those folding luggage racks like hotels have. That was an excellent buy - everyone thinks it's great having a place to put their suitcase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Strongly seconding the knowing what to expect thing... But I guess as a guest the number one thing I usually want is some flexibility. Example - once we arrived at mil's hungry. Can we eat? There will be pizza ordered in three hours. Do you have anything else for us? Pizza, three hours. Could it maybe be a little earlier since it's a hang out meal? Pizza, three hours. I had to go buy us a separate meal because the kids were melting down and I had a migraine coming. A ton of the pizza went to waste. :( Just, a little flexibility would have prevented that, putting out the salad right away, getting the pizza a little early, letting us eat from their ready-for-the-apocalypse stores of food in one of their three pantries... I know what you mean! My mil would start making lunch at 10:30 AM and I'd think, ok, I can hold out until lunch. Then she'd drag it out and not serve lunch until 1. The kids and I always are so hungry by mealtime so we started bringing snacks with us. Since we road trip to get there, they don't seem to notice that we eat stuff between meals. They balk if we buy stuff while there so we bring our own. No, I cannot explain why it's ok to bring our own but not go out and buy stuff once we get there. The goofy rules and expectations at my inlaws' house drive me crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Some guests are nuts for having a tv available. If you have a spare tv and can hook it up in the guest bedroom, I think that is a nice thing to do. We don't really do tv, but I have some relatives that are bonkers for it, including one who needs to have a tv on to sleep! We have a lot of pets. Before we have guests, I try to wash ALL the bedding where the guests will sleep, clean well, and then banish the pets from that area until the guests are gone. I have some HEPA room filters, and I will put that in the guest space if I know they have allergies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I always write out the wifi password on an index card and leave it in their room! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 Some guests are nuts for having a tv available. If you have a spare tv and can hook it up in the guest bedroom, I think that is a nice thing to do. We don't really do tv, but I have some relatives that are bonkers for it, including one who needs to have a tv on to sleep! We have a lot of pets. Before we have guests, I try to wash ALL the bedding where the guests will sleep, clean well, and then banish the pets from that area until the guests are gone. I have some HEPA room filters, and I will put that in the guest space if I know they have allergies. As a person that's allergic to pets ... thank you so much for doing that. It means so much to allergy sufferers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 No, I cannot explain why it's ok to bring our own but not go out and buy stuff once we get there. Because the need to go out and buy stuff once you are there means that they are not being good hosts providing what you need. It also means you are spending time going to the store and not with them. It's all about their control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Magazines in the room. A stack of towels so they don't have to use the same one over and over and over. Washcloth. Their own soap. Flashlight. Space in drawers or closet. Space on top of furniture to put their things (their keys, chapstick, a book.) Expectations that they can go in their room to be alone from time to time and won't be interrupted. Somewhere to put their dirty laundry. Replace the trash bag in their room daily. Offer for them to use the washer/dryer if they're staying long enough to need to wash clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I always make sure that the guest bathroom is stocked with a fresh bottle of bath/shower gel (because sharing bar soap with non-immediate-family creeps me out, so I figure it might creep others out, too) and shampoo, conditioner, and baby wash if there are little ones. I also keep spare new toothbrushes and toothpaste available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Because the need to go out and buy stuff once you are there means that they are not being good hosts providing what you need. It also means you are spending time going to the store and not with them. It's all about their control. Well, I'm guilty of wanting control also. MIL and FIL are VERY frugal and have embarrassed our kids on several occasions. Dd had one of those individual bags of chips and had eaten all but two chips and MIL made a big deal out of her not eating it all. She saved the bag for her to eat with her next meal. She also fixed ds a can a chicken noodle soup for lunch and he didn't eat it all. There was like half a cup of soup left and she saved it, telling him how wasteful it would be not to eat it. The kid had never had canned soup before and I really don't think a 7 year old usually eats a whole can of soup at a sitting. So yeah, I do want to bring my snacks and control what we eat while we're there. They are lovely people but are just way more frugal than we are. Which is probably why they have a gazillion dollars stashed away while we're still adding to our retirement fund. I'm not willing to let their ultra frugal ways get in the way of our relationship so bringing snacks is how I deal with it. My sisters visit me and they always buy snacks while we're out- we live in cheese country and they buy cheese to share while they're here...special crackers, etc. I do the same when I visit them- I buy stuff that's a treat and we've always seen it kind of like a hostess gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 So..... Is it always wrong to just point to the hotel down the street?/asking for a friend :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 So..... Is it always wrong to just point to the hotel down the street? /asking for a friend :laugh: My friend. If you are wrong, then I am wrong. I hand them a list of several hotels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Also, I do always tell my guests to help themselves to snacks anytime, and I show them where they are. I want people to feel comfortable making a sandwich or piece of toast, grabbing an apple, or making a pot of coffee anytime they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 So..... Is it always wrong to just point to the hotel down the street? /asking for a friend :laugh: Kids stay with the grandparents.......... dh and I stay at the hotel :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 So..... Is it always wrong to just point to the hotel down the street? /asking for a friend :laugh: I finally had to surrender to the truth that our house and our standard of living are both too small for overnight guests. I grew up valuing hospitality as a Christian virtue but I no longer believe that having people stay on pullout sofas and air mattresses is more holy than finding accommodations that are genuinely comfortable. Our solution is to host out of towners VERY rarely and to put them up at the hotel at the end of our street. It's within easy walking distance, our house serves as daytime headquarters, we can afford to pay the bill for parents or friends/family who can't afford it (as long as we don't do it often), and everyone (including my own family) gets necessary privacy, down time, and a good night's sleep. One of my dreams is to have a bigger home someday and practice in-house hospitality the right way. I do know how and would like to. In the meantime, the hotel annex works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 When Mr. Ellie and I moved to Texas from California, we upscaled instead of downscaling :-) and thus we have *three* guest room and *two* guest bathrooms upstairs (one is a jack-and-jill bathroom between two bedrooms), plus one full bathroom downstairs (in addition to our en suite bathroom), and a third living area upstairs commonly referred to as a game room. We have always wanted to have guests stay with us, but once our daughters were too big to sleep in our beds, leaving their bedrooms free, we really only had sofas and air mattress room, so we didn't do it very often. I try to do much of what the rest of you have suggested; I have added lamps of some kind next to the beds for nighttime reading which doesn't require people to get up out of bed to turn off the overhead light. I have some sort of dresser in each room for clothing, and closets of course. I buy little travel-size liquid soaps and shampoos and whatnot for guests to use, and I have lots of towels and washcloths. And extra toilet paper. :-) What I haven't figured out is how to help guests who stay in the Beach Room (I themed the guest rooms. *that* was fun!), which is the room I use the most. There are two big hooks on the wall right next to the tub, such that you just stick your arm out and there they are, to hang towels on, wet or dry. There are hooks on the back of the doors, for bathrobes or clothing, but you have to get out of the tub and walk over to them. At first I put clean, folded towels on the bed and showed the guest into the bathroom (it's en suite). Then one guest left those towels folded on the bathroom counter and took a towel out of the cabinet over the toilet. o_0 So the next time, I left the folded towels on the bathroom vanity and showed the guest where they were. She draped the towels on the hooks on the back of the bathroom door. The next time, I showed the guest the bathroom, with the clean, folded towels on the vanity, unfolded the towels and hung them on the hooks so she'd know that's what the hooks were for (because they're conveniently placed right next to the tub), and she left those towels on the hook, took towels out of the cabinet, and hung them on the hooks on the door. ::head desk:: :lol: It isn't that I *care* where guests hang the towels, or if they take towels out of the cabinet, because they are free to use as many towels as they want. It's that it seems to me that if they don't hang the towels *I put out for them* on the hooks *right next to the tub,* then they must be confused, and I don't want my guests to be confused. :lol: The most recent weirdity is this: We have ceiling fans, and all of them are wired into wall switches, so that right next to each door are double switches--one for the light, one for the fan. Last year we had guests several times. After the last visit I was putting clean sheets back on the bed after the guests had left, I turned on the fan...but it didn't actually turn on. I was perplexed and confused. So I stood on a chair and pulled the chain, and the fan started...which means that one of my guests, instead of turning the fan off at the switch, had actually stood on the chair to turn off the fan. :confused1: I don't know for sure which guest did it, because I it has never occurred to me that it would be necessary to check that and I don't always need to turn on the fan when I'm tidying up in there. Now I'll need to make sure I emphasize to guests not only where to hang their towels but how to turn the fan on and off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Ha. We bought new towels when we moved here, specifically to offer as guest towels. I showed the guests the towels and most of them used our older, less nice towels :laugh:. When I lived with a couple of roommates they had hooks in the bathroom for towels. But I'm kind of weird and prefer towel bars so I bought an over the door bar for the bathroom. Maybe the guests were nervous their towels would fall off the hook or not dry all the way? I'm thinking they were maybe just not very observant, though. Is there any chance the guest reached for the pull string from a bed rather than stood on a chair? In our master bedroom we can reach the fan pull from the bed. Sometimes I get in the bed and then reach for the fan or light pull (even though I have a lamp sometimes I want the large overhead light on for a while because I'm doing something on the Kindle, etc. and don't want to stress my eyes). I don't know what their reasoning is, and I can't ask, lol. Interestingly, I have towel bars in the other bathroom, the double kind, so that if they're folded in thirds four towels could hang there, but two can be hung unfolded so that they dry, KWIM? My brother and his wife and their two children stayed with me for Christmas; my brother and his wife hung their towels on the hooks on the bathroom doors; my niece hung her towel on the door, my nephew draped his over the back of the *wooden* rocking chair in his bedroom. o_0 I didn't say anything this time, but next time they stay, I will point out to my niece and nephew that they should hang their towels on the actual, you know towel bars. Still working on what to say to my brother and his wife, if anything. My mother didn't require him to hang up his towel, as they used towels once and tossed them in the hamper--she did laundry every day--so I can sort of excuse him. I don't know what my sil's mother did. Mr. Ray is well trained to hang up his towels, lol. No, you absolutely have to stand on something to reach the chain, either on the bed or on the chair. Nine foot ceilings and all that. It's a puzzler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Strongly seconding the knowing what to expect thing... But I guess as a guest the number one thing I usually want is some flexibility. Example - once we arrived at mil's hungry. Can we eat? There will be pizza ordered in three hours. Do you have anything else for us? Pizza, three hours. Could it maybe be a little earlier since it's a hang out meal? Pizza, three hours. I had to go buy us a separate meal because the kids were melting down and I had a migraine coming. A ton of the pizza went to waste. :( Just, a little flexibility would have prevented that, putting out the salad right away, getting the pizza a little early, letting us eat from their ready-for-the-apocalypse stores of food in one of their three pantries... My MIL does this as well, and she hand-makes weird pizza with three kinds of meat in the sauce. I don't eat meat. I will pick meat (discretely!) off of things and eat them but I just can't do the meat sauce. This is always after an 11 hour drive to their house. If I were reading somebody else's post about this I would be thinking right now that my MIL doesn't want us to visit, but I swear it's not true! It's totally bizarre, as she is usually very accommodating and flexible. I've started bringing a lot of granola bars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 There are lots of great ideas here. One of the main things I try to do is to plan ahead enough so that I can enjoy our guests and not be running around working the whole time. So I plan meals that can go from the freezer to the oven, and/or that require minimal last-minute preparation. I don't want them to feel like I have no time for them, or like they are causing me a lot of hassle. Nor do I want them to feel like they can't relax because they feel they should be helping me a lot in the kitchen. If I can be relaxed, it seeps into the whole atmosphere of the home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 An assortment of pillows--it's frustrating being a guest of someone who only has extremely fat, firm pillows when you sleep on soft, thinner ones, for example! Nightlight on nightstand, ready to use if needed. We leave one plugged in in the guest bath as well. More towels than you think they should need An assortment of blanket/quilts in different weights--more than you think they should need A card with the wifi password on their nightstand A phone charger with a USB port--we leave an iphone charger in there since almost everyone who visits us has that type of phone. A glass and coaster for the bedside table A small basket/container of toiletries--I include a shower cap, ear plugs, sleep mask, lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste, and shampoo/conditioner. Blackout blinds or curtains--it's been said before, but it bears repeating! Freshly washed linens, including mattress pad, blankets and quilts--it's not so pleasant to sleep in a bed that smells of the previous guest's perfume. A new, in package, bar of soap and a bottle of body wash for the shower A snack to offer them when they arrive, no matter the time A wastebasket in their bathroom! (and please discreetly empty it daily) Few (very few) decorative items on surfaces--guests need that space, and it's hard to work around someone's animal figurines or dried flower bouquets. A tissue box on the nightstand Extra toilet paper in the bathroom Bedside lamps on each side of the bed Night table on each side of the bed if space permits Guide books or magazines about your area are a nice touch Coffee and/or tea supplies set out for them before bed Permission to adjust thermostat if needed--we're on the west coast and turn our heat down a lot at night. We don't want our east-coast, early-rising guests freezing for two or three hours until we're up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I don't know what their reasoning is, and I can't ask, lol. Interestingly, I have towel bars in the other bathroom, the double kind, so that if they're folded in thirds four towels could hang there, but two can be hung unfolded so that they dry, KWIM? My brother and his wife and their two children stayed with me for Christmas; my brother and his wife hung their towels on the hooks on the bathroom doors; my niece hung her towel on the door, my nephew draped his over the back of the *wooden* rocking chair in his bedroom. o_0 I didn't say anything this time, but next time they stay, I will point out to my niece and nephew that they should hang their towels on the actual, you know towel bars. Still working on what to say to my brother and his wife, if anything. My mother didn't require him to hang up his towel, as they used towels once and tossed them in the hamper--she did laundry every day--so I can sort of excuse him. I don't know what my sil's mother did. Mr. Ray is well trained to hang up his towels, lol. No, you absolutely have to stand on something to reach the chain, either on the bed or on the chair. Nine foot ceilings and all that. It's a puzzler. Of course you can say something! Just mention it as you show them to their room. "Here are your towels; here are some extra blankets; here are some towel racks that we had installed; please hang your towels here after use so they won't damage the floor or furniture; here's a nightlight..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 When Mr. Ellie and I moved to Texas from California, we upscaled instead of downscaling :-) and thus we have *three* guest room and *two* guest bathrooms upstairs (one is a jack-and-jill bathroom between two bedrooms), plus one full bathroom downstairs (in addition to our en suite bathroom), and a third living area upstairs commonly referred to as a game room. We have always wanted to have guests stay with us, but once our daughters were too big to sleep in our beds, leaving their bedrooms free, we really only had sofas and air mattress room, so we didn't do it very often. We purchased a house with the idea that we definitely wanted a nice bedroom for guests also. We have lots of out of town family and friends and it's nice to have a spot to put them when they visit. Growing up my dad's side of the family was the type where everyone would stay with relatives when they visited but there was never any room for guests. It made for many nights as a kid and teenager sleeping on recliners in the living room at relatives houses. Ugh. I hated that. What I haven't figured out is how to help guests who stay in the Beach Room (I themed the guest rooms. *that* was fun!), which is the room I use the most. Our guest room is 'Miss Marple' themed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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