kids sleeping in the same bed as grandpa

[helena]

Let's say it's a one room studio, with two single beds. Grandma in one bed, grandpa in the other. Would you be weirded out if your kids slept in the bed with them? Is it ok for grandpa to sleep with a granddaughter? If yes, till what age?

[Jennifer in MI]

I wouldn't have a problem with that! But, I totally trust both sets of grandparents.

 

Actually, my parents would probably put the twin beds together and make them up as a king and have everyone sleep together.

[Tidbits of Learning]

Let's say it's a one room studio, with two single beds. Grandma in one bed, grandpa in the other. Would you be weirded out if your kids slept in the bed with them? Is it ok for grandpa to sleep with a granddaughter? If yes, till what age?

 

I would invest in sleeping bags. The kids love them. I said something to my mother in law about it when the girls were around 4. My son (7) however still sleeps sometimes with grandpa. My girls are both much bigger now 8 and 9.

[Sputterduck]

Assuming he's a nice, kind, wonderful grandpa, then I see no problem. If he's not then... well then the kid shouldn't be there at all.

[jenn1129]

I'd be fine with them in Grandma's bed, but not Grandpa's...at any age. Why can't Grandma and Grandpa sleep together and give the other bed to the kids?

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I'd be fine with them in Grandma's bed, but not Grandpa's...at any age. Why can't Grandma and Grandpa sleep together and give the other bed to the kids?

 

 

Yeah, just the thought of a kid waking up next to Grandpa with....morning lumber, as it were......ewww.

[milovany]

Let's say it's a one room studio, with two single beds. Grandma in one bed, grandpa in the other. Would you be weirded out if your kids slept in the bed with them? Is it ok for grandpa to sleep with a granddaughter? If yes, till what age?

 

This is very very common in many cultures around the world, including many here in the USA. Some p.s. teachers have been known to "report" their cross cultural students when hearing something like this -- when there was *nothing* going on other than normal sleeping.

[LauraGB]

In a word? No.

 

I would also want to know why grandma and grandpa have seperate beds to begin with? (you don't have to share, but I'm saying as a mom, it would be a question I'd like answered)

[Crissy]

I wouldn't have a problem with that! But, I totally trust both sets of grandparents.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

I can only see my parents suggesting a fun sleep-over sort of night with the grandkids, but I trust my husband's parents as much as I trust my own.

Completely.

[hsmom]

Well coming from someone who's grandparents sleep in beds like this I would say yes, it is alright.

 

My grandparents sleep like this because grandma is a light sleeper and grandpa just moves too much for her.

[Jennifer in MI]

Well coming from someone who's grandparents sleep in beds like this I would say yes, it is alright.

 

My grandparents sleep like this because grandma is a light sleeper and grandpa just moves too much for her.

 

I kick dh out of the bedroom regularly as he SNORES!!!! I can't sleep!

 

I asked my children about this. My older boys would rather sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag than in a bed with a grandparent. My 9 yo and 4 yo would rather sleep with the grandparent.

[jazzyfizzle]

I would be completely ok with this for both our sets of parents.

 

Now the grandfather I had... um.. h*ll no.

 

So it would depend entirely on the person.

[stormy weather]

I don't see why not. I'd say 9 would be the cut off age for me though.

 

I can't imagine how well anybody could sleep with a kid in twin bed though.

[Tap]

I don't like sleeping with people other than my husband....never have,not even as a child. So, to me.....NOPE, not happening. Maybel, (still unlikely) if it was a nice BIG bed, but not in a single. I would provide sleeping bags or an air mattress for the kids.

 

I know my son wouldn't do it (he is just like me-even as a baby he wanted in his own bed). DD complains about having to sleep with her small sized friend in her friend's bed, so I can imagine she would like it either.

 

If it were a family who had this custom and everyone was okay with it....I wouldn't think twice.

[eternalknot]

 

If it were a family who had this custom and everyone was okay with it....I wouldn't think twice.

 

:D This is a normal situation for my family, so I don't think twice about it.

 

My kids are 4 and 9, one of each gender. They spend every weekend with my parents, sharing a bed most of the time. They take vacations with my parents, sharing a bed all of that time. We grew up sharing beds, rooms, and sleeping space with the entire family.

 

It wouldn't bother me at all if either child slept in a bed with my in-laws. I don't care for them on a personal level, but I'd have no worries about my kids' safety or security in bedsharing with the inlaws. It's not their culture, though, so it's a non-issue. They'd likely suggest a sleeping bag or pallet on the floor in this type of situation.

[StartingOver]

As a daughter, a mother, and a grandmother. I see no issue with it. If I didn't trust my children / grandchildren to sleep with my husband, father, father in law........ then they sure wouldn't be in their home at ALL !!! My adult children still sleep in my bed on occasion ( normally just for a nap, or occasionally while on vacation, or my pregnant daughter who just doesn't feel good. ). My grandchildren ( the oldest is 12 ) still do too.

[StephanieZ]

I totally trust all my kids' grandparents. That said, I think that, in general, the only time it is generally OK in my book for an adult to share a bed with a kid is when that kid is the adult's own child (and not even step child). Exceptions only for female adults with female children -- if very close trusted family. I would have the kids bunk on the floor. Just my comfort level.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Twin beds would be too cozy for me, unless the child was very small, and didn't kick and poke and turn around while sleeping. I know I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all sleeping with any of *my* kids in a single bed. No sleep would make for a grumpy grandpa. I would buy or borrow some sleeping beds for the kids.

Edited March 13, 2010 by Suzanne in ABQ
I had written "would" when I meant "wouldn't".

[hsbaby]

I wouldn't think twice about it! Especially my own dad!! I think kids naturally get to an age where they wouldn't want to sleep with grandma OR grandpa. My dd outgrew it, but my ds (7) and other dd (only 3) haven't and i'm totally fine with that.

[lulubelle]

Twin bed is way too close for any comfortable night of sleep for more than one person. I would not let that happen. Get a blow up mattress for the kids to sleep on.

[Daisy]

h*ll no

 

Just going to leave it at that.

[swellmomma]

In this situation no. Only because the beds are inly single sized meaning no room for more than 1 person. (I even co-slept in a twin bed when ds6 was a baby, even then it was a bit too cozy). If the beds were bigger I would say sure no problem. I would do like others are suggesting and get sleeping bags, or have the kids sleep on the couch.

[mom2koh]

My kids co-sleep with mema and papa whenever they spend the night there.

 

However, they usually kick my dad out in the middle of the night due to his snoring. :lol:

 

That said.... they do sleep in a king sized bed.

 

I trust my parents implicitly. I would never allow this at my in-laws. It's your call as a parent as to how comfortable you are.

[happi duck]

Yeah, just the thought of a kid waking up next to Grandpa with....morning lumber, as it were......ewww.

 

Ack!!!!!

[PollyOR]

Knowing my kids they would be uncomfortable. Also, a twin bed is too small.

 

My dad (5+) lived with his grandparents during much of WWII. He has very fond memories of sleeping with Big Daddy (his grandfather). I love to hear my dad tell stories about Big Daddy. :001_wub:

[akmommy]

As long you trust Grandpa completely( I'm assuming you do since you're letting the kids stay the night) I don't see why not.

 

My grandparents always slept in the same bed, but when I spent nights with them I always slept between them until I just got too big. Some of my best memories are of laying in bed with grandpa and listening to him tell me bedtime stories. He was an awesome storyteller!

[akmommy]

I would also want to know why grandma and grandpa have seperate beds to begin with?

 

I've known several older couples who sleep in seperate beds and even rooms. I don't think there is anything particularly strange about it. One snores, or gets up frequently during the night or move too much.

[TXMary2]

It wouldn't bother me. When I was a kid I always slept in the same bed as my Grampy when visiting.

[LauraGB]

I trust my parents and inlaws, but I still think it's wierd. When our dc were younger, they did sleep between grandma and grandpa (dh's) when they went there because they had the super cool water bed ;). I thought it was wierd, but not enough to make mil/fil feel uncomfortable or bad about it because I firmly believe it was good, innocent fun. I just didn't love the idea.

[kalanamak]

Let's say it's a one room studio, with two single beds. Grandma in one bed, grandpa in the other. Would you be weirded out if your kids slept in the bed with them? Is it ok for grandpa to sleep with a granddaughter? If yes, till what age?

 

I wouldn't have minded at all. I think it would time to stop when all parties are not completely la-di-dah about it.

 

If I didn't trust grampa with a co-sleeper, I wouldn't let the child be at the house without me.

[Just Robyn]

Assuming he's a nice, kind, wonderful grandpa, then I see no problem. If he's not then... well then the kid shouldn't be there at all.

:iagree:

[helena]

A big thank you to everyone who responded! :)

The conversation came up over lunch yesterday with my mom. She had heard from my then 7 yo that she slept with grandpa sometimes, and it was still bothering her a year later. I told her that was about the time where I told my in-laws that at 7 and 10, I felt they needed to sleep on their own. They bought a blow up mattress, and its a non issue.

The conversation with my mom just got me thinking about what the norm is on co-sleeping with someone other than dad. I mean what is the norm? As several people pointed out, it can easily depend on your culture.

 

I feel lucky to be able to come here and see so many perspectives. As with most topics the feelings run the gamut. I seem to agree with everyone :confused:. At the end of the day we all know what the risks are of a little girl sleeping with a grown man. When I start to feel bad about always assessing men, I remember the high number of children who are and have been molested all over the world all of the time. This situation overwhelms me at times. Why does it continue? Why isn't the whole world up in arms over this issue?? What could ever change this from happening so much? Is there any hope in this situation?

 

So I guess that's what gnaws at me, not that I'm uncomfortable with my FIL, but that knowing of how nasty the world can be. I also want my girls to be aware of the older you get, as you develop, the rules change with the opposite sex.

 

My FIL is 1st generation American and is one of 11 children. He never had his own bed until he got a divorce. :)

I imagine him crying holding the girls, telling them how much he loves them while an acordian plays in the back round.

Can you say old world ;)

There is nothing creepy about my FIL, he was probably sad and a little hurt when I said no more.

 

Again thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I look forward to more responses!

 

ps I hope I don't come off as a suspicious man hating woman. It's not that AT ALL. My children are blessed to have good men in their lives, I value each of those men whether their friends, family, or the random kindness of a gentleman when we're out in the world. :)