'Boys with hair color' opinions needed

[Happy]

I'm a pretty artsy gal. My son, 18, a senior, likes to play with his hair (and shoes and clothes). He recently dyed a hunk of his bangs blue. The rest of his hair is a dishwater blonde color. Now the baseball organization is requiring him to get 'rid' of the color.

 

Their conduct rules state in writing that appearance must be neat and well groomed, no facial hair (except for coaches :glare:) and hair must be short. No written mention of color (probably because many homeschoolers in this area are quite military in appearance. It probably never crossed anyone's mind.) My son already cuts his hair to play on the varsity. We never even thought about a handful of blue hair being an obstacle. The color hides pretty well under his ball cap.

 

He is a nicely mannered, Christian fella.

 

What think you...is colored hair on a male offensive? Does it scream wild, wanton, or weird behavior? What do you think when you see a teen with a different hair style...especially a guy?

 

Thanks for perspective. I'm not seeing all the sides to this.

Edited March 3, 2009 by Happy

[Ria]

It wouldn't bother me, but I know a lot of people whom it would, lol. Some people see anything outside the norm as rebellious, or the sign of a bad kid. Unfortunately, if he wants to play sports, he's going to have to play by their rules. You know he's a good kid, but others can't see past his hair.

 

Ria

[OnTheBrink]

Well, I'm fairly conservative, but blue bangs aren't a deal breaker for me. I don't associate blue hair with rebellion or attitude.

 

I do think, though, that he should go by the rules to play, but if they've not addressed hair color, then he's not breaking the rules by having blue hair.

[Renthead Mommy]

It doesn't bother me in the least.

 

And if his hair meets the requirements stated in the rules, AS THEY ARE CURRENTLY WRITTEN, and he's already cut it to meet them, he shouldn't be forced to change above and beyond that. They want to include hair color, let them change the rules. But they should be next years rules. Sound's like he's already followed this years rules. He shouldn't be punished because closed minded individuals didn't have enough forethought or imaginagtion to include hair color in their list of rules.

[MamaT]

My 22yo has colored his hair every color in the world - and since he turned 18 has gotten several tattoos. He is an artsy, musical, poet type. People sometimes don't take the time to read his tattoos. Knossos and Veritas are two and one is a design with Peace, Love, Wisdom inside.

He is a wonderful Christian young man and is a big teddy bear with the biggest heart in the world. He is misread until people get to know him.

 

Having said that, he once had a job that required a hair cut to get all the color out - their rules. If the rules for your team does not specify color, why don't you point that out to someone. Maybe they will rethink your son having to get rid of his color.

[Nakia]

I think it sounds cool. But I also love tattoos and nose rings so I'm not sure I'm the girl to ask. :D

[Stacia]

It doesn't bother me in the least.

 

And if his hair meets the requirements stated in the rules, AS THEY ARE CURRENTLY WRITTEN, and he's already cut it to meet them, he shouldn't be forced to change above and beyond that. They want to include hair color, let them change the rules. But they should be next years rules. Sound's like he's already followed this years rules. He shouldn't be punished because closed minded individuals didn't have enough forethought or imaginagtion to include hair color in their list of rules.

 

Totally agree w/ this entire statement. :001_smile:

[elegantlion]

Well, I'm fairly conservative, but blue bangs aren't a deal breaker for me. I don't associate blue hair with rebellion or attitude.

 

I do think, though, that he should go by the rules to play, but if they've not addressed hair color, then he's not breaking the rules by having blue hair.

 

:iagree: It irks me worse when rules are attempted to be made after the fact. I probably dye a chunk of my hair blue as a sign of solidarity.

[fivetails]

 

What think you...is colored hair on a male offensive? Does it scream wild, wanton, or weird behavior? What do you think when you see a teen with a different hair style...especially a guy? .

 

Nah, it's not "offensive" - it's just the colour blue.

 

Doesn't scream anything to me - now, if the person with blue hair was wandering down the middle of the road reciting the alphabet backwards at the top of his lungs, I would find that rather weird behaviour. Playing on a ball team, not so much. ;)

 

Though you're talking to a girl who's hair, years back, was every dang colour of the rainbow and then some. :D

 

(and also to the Mum who let her dd12 dye half her hair hot pink for the first day of grade four ~she was still in ps then~ ....she told me the teacher said "well...we won't misplace YOU on a fieldtrip!" :lol: )

 

eh, it's just hair. People are much more than the colour of their hair. Thank heavens! :)

 

 

It doesn't sound like he messed with the rule - *but*, it's gonna depend on what definition of "neat" they want to use....

 

 

2neat Function:adjective Etymology:Middle French net, from Latin nitidus bright, neat, from nitēre to shine; probably akin to Middle Irish níam lusterDate:1542 1: free from dirt and disorder : habitually clean and orderly2 a: free from admixture or dilution : straight <neat brandy> <neat cement> b: free from irregularity : smooth <neat silk>3: marked by tasteful simplicity <a neat outfit>4 a: precise , systematic b: marked by skill or ingenuity : adroit5: net <neat profit>6: fine , admirable

— neat·ly adverb

— neat·ness noun

 

The ones I bolded could be problematic for your son - ugh, I seem to be stuck on italics LOL.

 

Anyway.

 

(of course, one could also then question how "irregularity" and "tasteful" are actually defined... they're both gonna be a bit...subjective? Is that the word I want? Because what might be "tasteful" to person A may be distasteful to person B.... same with "irregularity" ...it's only irregular if it is different from what is regular, I assume - and what is regular would depend on who you are, where you live, etc etc...)

 

 

Edited March 3, 2009 by fivetails

[Hillary in KS]

This issue is not one that would be a hill to die on for me. I'd use this as an opportunity to teach my son about compromising and working with others.

 

I'd probably tell him something along the lines of:

 

DS, it's just hair. It grows back. If you want to play more than you want blue hair, then cut it. If you want blue hair more than you want to play baseball, then quit the team. When summer's over, you can dye it back.

[Happy]

This issue is not one that would be a hill to die on for me. I'd use this as an opportunity to teach my son about compromising and working with others.

 

I'd probably tell him something along the lines of:

 

DS, it's just hair. It grows back. If you want to play more than you want blue hair, then cut it. If you want blue hair more than you want to play baseball, then quit the team. When summer's over, you can dye it back.

 

We've had this discussion for the last three years. Nathan willingly ;) cuts his long hair short in order to play. We feel they've gone over the line....maybe that means he won't be playing. That's too bad, it is his senior year and he is one of their best players.

[Hillary in KS]

We've had this discussion for the last three years. Nathan willingly ;) cuts his long hair short in order to play. We feel they've gone over the line....maybe that means he won't be playing. That's too bad, it is his senior year and he is one of their best players.

 

So is the cutting or re-dying of his hair a deal-breaker for him? He's willing not to play if it means getting rid of the blue color?

 

If the league says "No blue hair" and your son wants to take a stand on this, then I'd support him. I wouldn't fight the league (other than to say -politely- that you feel the ruling is unfair), but I would support his decision not to play.

 

Taking a stand for your beliefs often requires sacrifice on your part. This is a good lesson to learn at any age.

[Aggie]

So is the cutting or re-dying of his hair a deal-breaker for him? He's willing not to play if it means getting rid of the blue color?

 

If the league says "No blue hair" and your son wants to take a stand on this, then I'd support him. I wouldn't fight the league (other than to say -politely- that you feel the ruling is unfair), but I would support his decision not to play.

 

Taking a stand for your beliefs often requires sacrifice on your part. This is a good lesson to learn at any age.

 

This is true, Hillary.

 

It's also, I think, a good time to plead his case. In a mature, thoughtful, reasonable manner, he could approach the coaches and ask to be an exception. They may not grant it, but once they know your ds better they may have a different perspective regarding blue hair.:001_smile:

[Hillary in KS]

This is true, Hillary.

 

It's also, I think, a good time to plead his case. In a mature, thoughtful, reasonable manner, he could approach the coaches and ask to be an exception. They may not grant it, but once they know your ds better they may have a different perspective regarding blue hair.:001_smile:

 

Yes, I agree. Politely and in an articulate manner. Not in a loud, "I demand my rights!" sort of way. :)

 

This can be a good experience for a young man. :)

[Happy]

This is true, Hillary.

 

It's also, I think, a good time to plead his case. In a mature, thoughtful, reasonable manner, he could approach the coaches and ask to be an exception. They may not grant it, but once they know your ds better they may have a different perspective regarding blue hair.:001_smile:

 

One would hope after three and a half YEARS of playing on this team, the men in charge would already know him. We will be pleading his case. Ds is in charge of assembling his 'defense.' and I will back him up.

 

I'm really upset over this. I don't like that the rules have 'changed' after the season has begun. I don't like that appearance is held in such high esteem. It seems wrong to me. Aren't we supposed to be looking within more than without?

 

Bedtime. A relative of mine is in serious medical crisis. A little blue hair compared to that seems so very trivial. Perhaps I'll see it more clearly tomorrow morning.

[Rosie_0801]

Such things don't bother me, because my brother is the sweetest but most disreputable looking kid ever. I can see how it would bother other people though, since it's only human nature to judge on appearances. In this case it seems very silly. He's not going for a job, he's hanging out with people he's known for years!

 

Rosie

[abbeyej]

Blue hair doesn't bother me. *But* I think he can make the choice as to which is more important to him: blue hair or the baseball team. I do think the *spirit* of the current rule probably does cover "outlandish" hair color pretty clearly. So they didn't say "you can't have blue hair". But the implication of "neat and well-groomed" and the other rules make it pretty clear they didn't just pull "oh, yeah, and no blue hair" out of their collective, well, you know... ;)

 

So, while *personally* I couldn't care less if he has blue hair (and in some situations I might even think, "Oh, hey, that looks cool"), I wouldn't fight the team or league on this. He can make the decision -- either do without blue hair during the ball season, or do without baseball during his own personal blue hair season.

[the floating cottage]

He's wearing a ball cap right? I think that I would make an agreement with them that will keep on his cap as not to "offend" anyone. Which is ridiculous in itself. But I would agure not cutting based on the fact you meet the other guidelines.

[Kim in Appalachia]

Maybe if he dyed it the color of the team it would be ok?

 

They may not budge. He will have to decide if he really wants to be on the team.

 

I wouldn't find the hair color a big deal, but I'm not the coach.

[Parrothead]

I'd have to help him with a defense and take it to the league. If the rules don't say specifically no "weird" hair color or no dyed hair or some other specific mention of not natural hair color then there isn't a rule about it.

 

I wouldn't call in the lawyers or anything for this, but I would help him stand up for what he thinks is right.

 

I would also spread the word to the other players. You never know how many of them will stand with your ds and dye their hair different colors too.

[Tracey in TX]

:iagree: It irks me worse when rules are attempted to be made after the fact. I probably dye a chunk of my hair blue as a sign of solidarity.

:lol: Too funny!

[Karen sn]

Blue is my favorite color.

I once dyed my hair poppy seed red and when it washed out I was left with pink hair - and it actually looked good on me.

 

Hair schmair.

Why people make a big deal out of nothing is beyond me.

 

Some of the nicest people I have ever met were tattooed and pierced.

I'm more afraid of the uber clean cut myself! I think, "What are they hiding?"

 

I agree with the poster who said she'd die a chunk blue in protest.

In fact - you can even just color it with marker. I'd do it for all my kids and we'd sit in the stands every game.

 

Now 30 years ago - I can see why they'd make a stink.

But this is the way kids are today.

He's not really doing anything out of the norm for his age group in this time in history.

 

With all the awful crap going on in the world I am surprised that anyone would choose to make a mountain out of this mole hill.

[Tracey in TX]

One of the downfalls of organized sports is the expectation that you look like a cloned version of your teammates. Not a time to highlight one's individuality. The league *should* allow him to play, as it's by their current rules, provided he covers his hair if they find it offensive in some manner. This sort of rules-for-rules sake drives me bonkers. Good luck! (btw, go with elegantlion's option of dying your hair for solidarity :))

 

btw, my son decided to not join the boys' gymnastics team when he was told the boys were required to have very short hair (buzz cut). He has pretty blonde hair and this was a deal breaker!

[katilac]

I do think the *spirit* of the current rule probably does cover "outlandish" hair color pretty clearly. So they didn't say "you can't have blue hair". But the implication of "neat and well-groomed" and the other rules make it pretty clear they didn't just pull "oh, yeah, and no blue hair" out of their collective, well, you know... ;)

 

 

I think that's the point many posters are making, though - - you can have neat, well-groomed, and blue hair, particularly when it's covered with a baseball cap. If a player grew long sideburns, so they would show with the cap on, died them blue and twirled them into spikes, THAT would be violating the spirit of the rules, :D

 

But it sounds like one would be hard pressed to pick 'the kid with blue hair' out of a team photo. He's been reasonable - - cutting his long hair - - and now it's their turn to be reasonable.

[Tammyla]

:iagree: My thinking would also be...He's 18 and can handle this either way himself.

Blue hair doesn't bother me. *But* I think he can make the choice as to which is more important to him: blue hair or the baseball team. I do think the *spirit* of the current rule probably does cover "outlandish" hair color pretty clearly. So they didn't say "you can't have blue hair". But the implication of "neat and well-groomed" and the other rules make it pretty clear they didn't just pull "oh, yeah, and no blue hair" out of their collective, well, you know... ;)

 

So, while *personally* I couldn't care less if he has blue hair (and in some situations I might even think, "Oh, hey, that looks cool"), I wouldn't fight the team or league on this. He can make the decision -- either do without blue hair during the ball season, or do without baseball during his own personal blue hair season.

[Erica in PA]

You asked, "What do you think when you see a teen with a different hair style... especially a guy?" I'll be honest with you... it makes me think that guy wants to stand out and be different, possibly in a rebellious sort of way. He wants to buck convention, that's sort of the idea I get. That doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to rebel against his parents or against God (though it *could* be a sign of that in some cases), and of course if I got to know that young person, that would give me a much better impression of his heart and values, and ultimately that is what I would judge that person by. But as far as the initial impression, honestly that is what I think, and I think that quite a few people, if they felt free to be completely honest, would think the same. I can understand organizations wanting to avoid that kind of thing, and wouldn't have a problem with them asking me or my kids to comply with that.

[Erica in PA]

So is the cutting or re-dying of his hair a deal-breaker for him? He's willing not to play if it means getting rid of the blue color?

 

If the league says "No blue hair" and your son wants to take a stand on this, then I'd support him. I wouldn't fight the league (other than to say -politely- that you feel the ruling is unfair), but I would support his decision not to play.

 

Taking a stand for your beliefs often requires sacrifice on your part. This is a good lesson to learn at any age.

 

See now I would tend to see this a little differently (even though I'm usually with you 100%, Hillary). If my own son was so attached to having blue hair that he would give up an activity that was important to him and at which he excelled, that would make me a bit concerned. I would wonder why having blue hair was that important to him. I'm not sure that I would support a "stand" on this issue. There are lots of things I would love for my dc to stand up for... having differently colored hair probably would not be one of them.

 

Not saying I am right, or that you are wrong, just that I would tend to view this a little differently.

[Guest SouljaQT]

No it certainly doesn't bother me. My 8 year old is sporting a mohawk right now and people like to comment on it. I don't feel the need to control his hairstyle choices but I am very strict otherwise. I figure if the hair is the worst thing he does I'll have it real easy.

 

But as for your case it seems like he'll have to loose the color if he wants to play for the team. Unfortunatly there's nothing you can do about it unless you want to fight it.

 

Here in my town the girls always use the spray dye when they have a soccer match.

[mktkcb]

I agree with this. I know that the state of a kids heart is certainly not determined by the color of his hair, but I get similar first impressions. It's attention getting behavior plain and simple. Obviously not evil or rebellious, but certainly a "look at me, I'm different" sort of statement. I would personally think that that violates the spirit (not the letter) of the rules. JMO.

[Ohdanigirl]

Try talking with the group to see what you can work out. It's to bad that people always judge on appearance. I now how you feel though, my husband has tatoos on his arms that he took from books that he enjoyed about the Mayan and the Aztecs. They all represent things such as the birth months of our children, and they are very well done. Since we live in Mexico he keeps them covered most of the time. The times that we have gone out and his tatoos show people avoid us completely, or they only talk to me. In fact, we went to a family members wedding recently and rean into this problem. The room was feeled mostly with lawyers and although my husband was dressed nice, when he he rolled up his sleeve a bit they must of thought he was fresh out of jail. They were all shocked when the groom ran over to give him a big hug and sit at our table. After the initial shock most people get over it. I hope they will in your case.

 

Danielle

[Hillary in KS]

See now I would tend to see this a little differently (even though I'm usually with you 100%, Hillary). If my own son was so attached to having blue hair that he would give up an activity that was important to him and at which he excelled, that would make me a bit concerned. I would wonder why having blue hair was that important to him. I'm not sure that I would support a "stand" on this issue. There are lots of things I would love for my dc to stand up for... having differently colored hair probably would not be one of them.

 

Not saying I am right, or that you are wrong, just that I would tend to view this a little differently.

 

You know, I agree with you as well. If my son would rather NOT play a sport he loved because he cared more about his hair color, I'd be concerned as well.

 

But I saw it more as accepting the consequences of his choices, as opposed to standing up for his rights. Does that make sense?