Melenie Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 DD will be 5 tomorrow and I am taking her out to the Cheesecake factory for a "ladies lunch" and she gets to pick out a nice girlie outfit. She is very excited about our day, but am I depriving her by not having a party? We will also invite her best friend over on Sunday to decorate cupcakes, but I do not feel the need to do more than that. What do you do for kids birthdays? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 for everyone's birthday! That is all I have ever done. Oh...I also bake a cake of their choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 We've moved around a lot and we never have lived close to family so our birthdays are purely family events. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 That sounds great. We rarely do birthday parties. I just don't like them. The kids see their friends all the time at the park, playlands or bouncy places. We usually just do a family activity and have a cake. The kids don't seem to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 We have six children. We always have a family dinner (birthday child gets to pick what is for dinner). We've rotated birthday parties. Each child has had one or two parties. On Sunday my youngest turns 12. He's having 15 friends over for pizza and a movie. We've never done anything like this before. I hope I survive. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 we rarely do "parties" they get to pick any cake they want to buy or make (with either dad or me) and any ice cream they want too. then we take them shopping or we already have their gift ready. most of the time, they get to go shopping for whatever they want within reason (usually around $30, rarely above $50) but every once in a while dad or I come across something we just know they'll love at a great price or that's hard to find and we go ahead and set it aside for their birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMom2One Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Our family tradition is to do something different every year, and we definitely don't have parties every year. Some years we go the full route and invite guests to our home or have a party at a special location with lots of friends and family, but some of the best ones have been doing things like you are doing this year or taking one friend along with Mom for a day at the beach, etc. On the day of the birthday the person of honor gets to pick out what's for dinner, but other than that they get a gift and whatever activity we planned in advance. Birthdays don't have to be too detailed in order to be fun and special. Blessings, Lucinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 When we lived in the Great North East, we took birthday trips. Each dc picked a place we could go for a day or a long weekend. We never had parties and I think the girls have only been to one birthday party. Ds7 hasn't even been to one. Now that we're in Texas, we just have family 'parties', and I use that term lightly. :lol: I think your celebrations sound wonderful! See if they'll sing to her at the CF! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 DD will be 5 tomorrow and I am taking her out to the Cheesecake factory for a "ladies lunch" and she gets to pick out a nice girlie outfit. She is very excited about our day, but am I depriving her by not having a party? We will also invite her best friend over on Sunday to decorate cupcakes, but I do not feel the need to do more than that. What do you do for kids birthdays? That sounds like a lovely plan. She will feel so special. Birthdays are relatively low key around here, unless we happen to be at my mom's. Then they are still low key but the volume of presents is overwhelming. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 You are not depriving her at all. You are making her day special and she will always remember this. I had parties for my boys when they were little but they were stressful and they had way to many new toys. After a few years we caught on that they are very happy just making the day special. They get to pick the meals for the day, which is eat out or I make their favorite whatever and cake, something they want to do, most times it's bowling, putt putt or chuck e cheese with the family, and we get them something they've been wanting. Now that they are older they get $50cash and $50 put into their bank account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 (edited) We have all sorts of celebrations, lol. We live near my parents & my in-laws, so that ups the count. On the child's birthday, they get to pick where they would like to go out to eat. We go & my parents & the only local cousin sometimes come along too. The birthday child usually gets a gift or two that day. Sometime during the birthday week, my mom will do a little 'party' at her house -- presents from my parents & a cake. My in-laws also have a birthday celebration w/in a month of the birthday. The celebration is often a combo of 2 or more birthday folks (adults &/or kids) w/ dinner, a cake, and presents. Ds' birthday is coming up soon, so he & my bil will get a joint dinner at the in-laws' house & a shared cake. Plus, we host a birthday party w/ friends here at our house. The kids have a core set of pals they invite -- a group of 6-8 kids. The child picks a party 'theme' & both my dc love preparing for the party, everything from planning games, making decorations, etc.... We always have a blast. The kids play games, open presents, eat cake & snacks & then just run around & play for the rest of the afternoon while the moms chat & hang out. So, we celebrate & drag it out over many weeks. We always have lots of fun & it's not just the birthday child who looks forward to all the fun & celebrating, lol. ETA: No, you are not depriving her. Every family is different. Do what works for all of you! Sounds like you have a fun & special day planned -- no wonder your dd is excited! Edited February 28, 2009 by Stacia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Do what fits your family & dd's personality. We always do very BIG parties. The girl's B.D's are only a week apart, so we do one big one for the both of them. Last year we had a Doll party. We went all out, we even made a life (kid) size doll house out of cardboard boxes (we spent hours painting it :)). Dh gets into it just as much as I do; I couldn't do it without his help. We all LOVE parties, so that's what we do. Do what is comfotable, and what you have time and energy for. Have fun on your mommy daughter date! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Your mommy and daughter time sounds like fun! We have a family party and the birthday boy/girl gets to pick what's for dinner. We go around the table at dinner and each person says what they appreciate about the birthday boy/girl. I make them a cake. We do different things on different years. We have done big parties and we have taken them out for lunch and a matinee movie with a friend or two. Celebrate the way you are comfortable. It certainly does not sound as if your daughter is deprived. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumping In Puddles Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 There is not just one right way - whatever makes you feel comfortable and it doesn't seem like she is being deprived. If you refuse to acknowledge the day, that would be depriving! My 5 year old (planning his 6th bday) really wants to have a party so I am inviting the neighbors, family and friends and my son is asking that everyone bring food items for him to bring to the local food pantry instead of gifts. He already has a lot of stuff and he will be getting more from us and his grandparents so this works out nicely. :) The one thing I dislike about children's parties is the obscene amount of gifts the children receive! I also really dislike the goody bag. ugh. We are a family that enjoys parties so it works well for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 We try to coordinate with our favorite family. They have six children and we try to get together every so often and have birthday celebrations. We don't always make it for every child and sometimes we combine parties. Ours are older, so it's no big deal to them to have a party early or late, they just love to see their buddies. (three hours away). Our oldest two had little parties with friends, but we soon began just family. If we can't get together with our friends we have us, grandma, an auntie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinkerbell11599 Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Gosh I feel like the oddball... For my kids' birthdays, we invite our parents, our siblings (we each have only one), friends of ours and their kids (5 and 2 1/2), my son's Korean adult adoptee mentor, and another friend of mine and her grown family (her two "kids" are in their early 20s and are my girls Korean adult adoptee mentors). On the menu is a mix of Korean food and Western food cooked by my husband and I or my mom. We have cake (mostly homemade due to the fact that one of my kids has a dairy allergy and the 2 1/2 year old who comes has an egg allergy). We have a limit on the gifts that are given and if they feel the need to give a gift it needs to be educational. If they want to give a donation, they can do it to the agency in Korea that took care of our kids or to the Korean cultural camp that our kids go to. JenC from Upstate NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 but am I depriving her by not having a party? Our kids have never had birthday parties. When they were little the relatives would drive in from out of town and we would have a "family" party, but they've never had a "friend" party, and although they have been to other kids' parties, they have never asked for one. On our kids' birthdays, we let them choose a restaurant for lunch or dinner and my dh makes them custom cakes (very elaborate). After dinner we open presents. One year we took the little kids, whose birthdays are very close together, to a children's museum in another state that had a huge dinosaur exhibit. One year we went to an aquarium. But we never have parties. Do NOT feel guilty for giving your dd a special "ladies lunch." She will remember that far more than she ever would a kid party. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 (edited) Every year, we have a family party, we have a homemade cake, go to Auntie's house with Grandparents and cousins etc. and order pizza, no friends or frills. We do a kid's party every other year with store bought cake ( DQ ice cream cakes are our favorites!) , prize baggies, decorations, friends, games, etc. Some are saying they don't like kid's parties. I have to say, I don't see why. I have always LOVED watching my DCs at their own parties OR at other kids parties. I see all the kids just having a wonderful time and I just love it. I have often taken my DCs to other kids parties and stayed just to watch all the fun ( even when I didn't know the parents!). My DD7 LOVES attending other kid's parties and I am happy to buy a small gift in appreciation of all the fun she gets to have. One girl had a beauty party where all the girls got to have their hair done, make up, nails etc. ( it was just mom's doing the different stations). My son used to have sports parties. I still remember that sweaty bunch of 10 year olds after the free throw shooting contest, eating cake and high fiving each other. What a loud and enthusiastic bunch of fun they had. After we moved to the farm, my DD, at age 5, had a Pony ride, petting zoo, hay ride party. The other kids are still talking about the fun they had 2 years later. Personally, I would make sure my kids each had at least a couple of memorable Birthday parties over the years. It is an unbeatable way to make sure they know you think they are the bomb. I would feel bad for a kid who was invited to other kid's parties and attended, but was never given one of his own. They DO remember their birthday parties fondly and with apreciation for the obvious love their mom put into their special day. My adult kids sure do. ( DD23's favorite was her My Little Pony Party, DS22's favorite was the bowling party with the Ninja Turtle decorations! ) Heck, I even remember my own 7th birthday party and how much fun I had. I remember the games, (like spooning balls of cotton from 1 bowl to another with a blind fold on, most cotton balls in the second bowl wins!) and the beautiful cake! Thanks, MOM! Edited February 28, 2009 by katemary63 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumping In Puddles Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Some are saying they don't like kid's parties. I have to say, I don't see why. I have always LOVED watching my DCs at their own parties OR at other kids parties. I love parties too... but the gifts - ahhhhh! lol I hate the gifts. I was recently at a party for a child who just turned 5. We happily went to the party and we picked out a gift we thought the girl would like and put it with the other gifts (on a stage at the local lake house club house) and wow there were so many gifts and some of them were big! Where was this girl going to put the gifts? I wonder if she got tired of opening them after awhile? I'm sure our little gift just got lost in the crowd and I have no idea if she liked it or if she knew or cared who it was from. My nephew (8) just had a bday party and he got $400 worth of Toys R Us gift cards! I guess that's better than a pile of gifts but he was planning on using it to buy video games. We went to a party last weekend for a boy turning 6 who is friends with my ds and there were 7 kids at the party including bday boy and sibling and they had a blast (although we could never ever do a party that small because of the size of our family and friends family) but the gifts he got were really nice! The boy opened the gifts and was gushing over the gift my ds got him (Rush Hour) and the boy and my son were talking about the game and they were so excited it was cute. :) Don't get me wrong, I love big parties as much as small parties, I just hate all the gifts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyco Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Done with parties here, too. My dc have winter birthdays and so parties at a park or beach are not possible, so if we party, it's either at my house or somewhere else--expensive! Each child has had about 2 parties in their life (not including the 1 year party which was just our friends/family!). I can't stand the expense. We just let them pick out what they'd like to eat--turns out this is a very big deal for them!--and what kind of cake they'd like. Lately I've been allowing one friend to spend the night and help celebrate. I think the lunch idea/new outfit sounds perfect. Besides...if our children come to expect so much commotion, gifts, and attention when they are little, how are we going to please them when they turn, say, 16 or 18? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 We generally just have cake, and a visit from grandparents. Sometimes friends are included if they live nearby. We haven't really focused much on parties until they're older and *want* them, KWIM? And even then, we trade off between "Pick someplace special to go with one or two buddies" and a serious "party", held at home or at some other location (roller rink, etc.). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 DD will be 5 tomorrow and I am taking her out to the Cheesecake factory for a "ladies lunch" and she gets to pick out a nice girlie outfit. She is very excited about our day, but am I depriving her by not having a party? We will also invite her best friend over on Sunday to decorate cupcakes, but I do not feel the need to do more than that. What do you do for kids birthdays? Well at our house, that's not a birthday, that's just a regular day. We go to real restuarants (as in non fast food) for lunch and out to dinner all the time. So that wouldn't be anything special, just a regular meal, and well, disappointing for a birthday I think. But if you only go out for meals when it's an occassion, then it would be a big deal I guess. We have parties. There's only the 3 of us, so it'd be just another day if we didn't have a party with friends. However we do the parties here, with a bbq and cake (usually no ice cream - his b'day is mid July!), and usually something involving water! (again, it's mid July!) On his actual birthday, we'll go out to restuarant of choice, followed by cake at home. We ususally invite at least another family over. It makes it more special, plus if we didn't have more people, we'd never get rid of all the cake! Some years we have more than one birthday party. This year will be one of them. He'll have a birthday party with his friends before we move, because these are his "best friends". It will be about a month and a half early. But it will also be a good bye party. Once we get to NY, we'll have a real party for him at his birthday. This year is different because we are basically moving "home' for 3 years. His godparents, "aunts", "uncles" and "cousins" as well as a few actual relatives, live near by, so we'll have a 'real' party then for him with actual relatives (something that doesn't usually happen). But in the past, on our 'moving' years, we do the good bye/birthday party, and then have something simple with our new friends on his birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 We always do something on the actual birthday just with our little family (we have no other family in town besides Grandma). We try to make their day very special by doing something they love and things we don't do often. Go to the waterpark, zoo, Chuck-e-Cheese's, Cosmic Bowling, Minor League Baseball game, all come to mind of things we have done in the past few years for our different children. This year we took DS6 to Nickelodeon Hotel, arriving on his Bday which was all about him and then rest of the weekend was about the rest of us. Then of course, their birthday dinner out. We normally haven't let them pick but instead surprised them. Actually, lots of times we have them weared their eyes covered from location to location throughout the day. Then, usually a few weekends later, we have a birthday party with their friends. We have done every theme, sleepovers, Poker party (with DS10 and not gambling for $$, just chips, asked for no gifts, just donation to his favorite charity), camp outs, scavenger hunts, location parties like at Ice Rink, Mad Science party etc etc. I just know that I don't really remember ever having a very special birthday growing up. Also, we don't do alot of these things normally due to budget and time. Plus so often in life, especiall in families with multiple children, the children must sacrifice for the good of the family, that's just part of life. So that is why we try to give each child their special day once a year where it is all just about them. There will soon be a time in their life, as adults, where their birthday will be not so much about them, so I am all about letting them enjoy it while they can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 My kids get to pick out what we eat on their birthday. They can either have over 1 friend (usually their entire family) or take the family out someplace (movies, Chuck E. Cheese, and we've done take out at a park). I also make them a a special cake or other dessert of their choosing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 Besides...if our children come to expect so much commotion, gifts, and attention when they are little, how are we going to please them when they turn, say, 16 or 18? Hopefully, at that age, I would expect them to be mature young adults by then rather than completely ego-centric. Just because there are parties or get-togethers w/ friends, each year does not have to be a 'bigger, better, more grandiose' type scenario. For us, some years we have bigger celebrations & other years are more low key. The kids take it in stride. And, on a completely different note.... In addition to the fun of having a party, I think parties provide some great social skill practice for kids. They can learn how to select a gift for the recipient, how to be a polite guest, how to give generously (I'm not talking $$ value here) & happily to someone else, how to be happy on someone else's behalf, etc.... The hosting child can learn & practice how to be a delightful host, how to graciously accept a gift, how to properly thank those who have helped make the celebration special by showing up. Obviously, birthday parties are not the only place or time that children can learn those skills, but I think they provide a great environment for doing so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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