What have you done alone that stands out in your mind as a favorite experience?

[Colleen]

As mothers (or fathers), we speak so often in terms of our families ~ and that's a good thing. But as one who enjoyed my single adulthood, and who appreciates doing things alone, I'm always interested in hearing about people's independent adventures and experiences.

 

I'm thinking about this as I read a book about a journalist who, in his 50s, cycled across America. He was (is?) married but undertook the endeavour alone. I have the impression it isn't something his wife was particularly interested in pursuing, and he doesn't in the least mind answering to no one but himself. Yet many people would assume his wife felt left out, or that was lonely going it alone, etc. I'd love to cycle across the country, and I wouldn't mind doing it alone. My primary reason for having company would be the fact that I'm a woman. Sorry to say, I would feel less safe on my own than would most guys.

 

So, what's (one of) your best "Going it Alone" memories? Mine is driving from Houston to Seattle. I enjoyed my job in TX, and enjoyed getting to know a new place. I had a great group of friends. The restaurants and museums were notable. And yet, it didn't satisfy that place within me that is born of beautiful, wild surroundings. It was too much a concrete jungle. So one evening, after going to the theater and watching "A River Runs Through It", I made a decision. The next day, I quit my job. Two weeks later, after selling off my furniture and anything else that couldn't fit in my Mazda MX3, I watched Houston recede in the rearview mirror as I headed west.

 

Oh, how I loved that drive! How I loved journeying alone through the wide, open space of west Texas. Through the ruby red skies of New Mexico. Up the coast of California. And when I stood there at the Golden Gate Bridge, breathing in the Pacific air in an early dawn, I thought, "I'm so glad no one else is here to speak and break the peace".

 

What about you? What solitary endeavour was most meaningful to you?

Edited February 27, 2009 by Colleen

[Tap]

Ironically....deciding to move from Austin back to the PNW. It wasn't a single moment but more of month of awakening for me. It was listening to the small voice, instead of the most obvious one.

 

I had graduated highschool and was living in Texas with a sister. Texas was the mutual ground for a long term boyfriend, who was attending Rutgers. I was applying to UT and deciding where to go next. I had a very good paying job and could work part time and make full time wages. I had every reason in the world to stay in Texas.

 

I changed my mind, felt compelled to move back to Oregon. I met my husband the next year, married and never looked back.

[Erica in PA]

As mothers (or fathers), we speak so often in terms of our families ~ and that's a good thing. But as one who enjoyed my single adulthood, and who appreciates doing things alone, I'm always interested in hearing about people's independent adventures and experiences.

 

I'm thinking about this as I read a book about a journalist who, in his 50s, cycled across America. He was (is?) married but undertook the endeavour alone. I have the impression it isn't something his wife was particularly interested in pursuing, and he doesn't in the least mind answering to no one but himself. Yet many people would assume his wife felt left out, or that he'd be lonely going it alone, etc. I'd love to cycle across the country, and I wouldn't mind doing it alone. My primary reason for having company would be the fact that I'm a woman. Sorry to say, I would feel less safe on my own than would most guys.

 

So, what's (one of) your best "Going it Alone" memories? Mine is driving from Houston to Seattle. I enjoyed my job in TX, and enjoyed getting to know a new place. I had a great group of friends. The restaurants and museums were notable. And yet, it didn't satisfy that place within me that is born of beautiful, wild surroundings. It was too much a concrete jungle. So one evening, after going to theater and watching "A River Runs Through It", I made a decision. The next day, I quit my job. Two weeks later, after selling off my furniture and anything else that couldn't fit in my Mazda MX3, I watched Houston recede in the rearview mirror as I headed west.

 

Oh, how I loved that drive! How I loved journeying alone through the wide, open space of west Texas. Through the ruby red skies of New Mexico. Up the coast of California. And when I stood there at the Golden Gate Bridge, breathing in the Pacific air in a early dawn, I thought, "I'm so glad no one else is here to speak and break the peace".

 

What about you? What solitary endeavour was most meaningful to you?

 

It's funny to think of it this way, but I actually had no time as a single adult. I got married during college, (where I was pretty much a total bookworm and didn't socialize all that much), and went straight from graduation to having our first child a month later. So I really had no independent adventures. I never even owned a car before dh and I got married! It's funny, because I always have viewed myself as an independent person.. but I'm realizing that I haven't done much independently! :lol:

 

Probably my fondest pre-marriage memories are of going off to college on my own, that taste of independence. I was the first person in our family to ever attend college, and that meant a lot to me to be able to do that.

[swellmomma]

I don't have any going it alone stories, I figure those will come later when the kids are grown and on their own. I got pg in college, moved back out of my folks home, dropped out and got married. I was only 20 when I got pg so never had that time really to go it alone. I didn't even get a driver's license until I was 23 and already a mother of 2.

[Colleen]

That's funny that you posted the first reply ~ and also shared about moving from TX back this way. That small voice sometimes demands to be heard with good reason, doesn't it?

Edited February 27, 2009 by Colleen

[Colleen]

Just to clarify, I don't mean to imply that someone has to have been a single adult in order to have enjoyed things independently. Or that the experiences have to be grandiose. Sometimes just learning something new, on our own, is in and of itself a prized experience.:)

 

Probably my fondest pre-marriage memories are of going off to college on my own, that taste of independence. I was the first person in our family to ever attend college, and that meant a lot to me to be able to do that.

 

And look at the precedent you set! Now your little sister is earning her college degree, too. Good for you!

[3lilreds in NC]

I attended a Don Henley concert by myself after I graduated from college. It was at an outdoor amphitheater in Michigan (Pine Knob). I sat on the lawn and it was an amazing experience - beautiful weather and fantastic music. The most wonderful feelings come up when I think about it. Thanks for reminding me. :)

[1bassoon]

I also got married right out of college, and had my eldest about a year and a few months later :)

 

Here are my two:

 

First - 3 years ago - almost this month - I flew ALL BY MYSELF to D.C. to see my brother, his wife, and my new little nephew. It was really amazing. All by myself on an airplane - no one to worry about, guide, direct, feed, etc. All by myself navigating through D.C. - and I'm one of those people who LOVES to find a new way to drive somewhere, or navigate somewhere (no GPS, thank you very much!). All by myself visiting with my family, being able to be helpful, hold the baby, etc. without having my attention split. It was the first trip I'd taken by myself since getting married in 1991. Amazing.

 

I was lonely as all get-out, and glad to be home, but it is a treasured memory.

 

Second - deep breath. Right now. Seriously. My dh works out-of-state, and has since the beginning of June. It has been really, really good for the two of us. The kids, not so much - they miss their Daddy - but for the two of us, it has been great.

 

I've learned that I'm not Miss Self-Reliant. I need my hubby. I miss him more than I ever have. I'm no good on my own, and I need him to stabilize me. (I hope that doesn't sound weird, or drippy, or whatever. But it has been very good for me to learn that I can't do it all, or be it all, for everyone. Does that make sense?)

 

He's had some space in his life to read, reflect, pray, and mature both as a husband and as a father. Our marriage is better, and his parenting is better. (Mine's probably worse! :tongue_smilie:)

 

Thanks for the thread, Colleen. You helped me have a quiet moment of reflection tonight. Blessings on you!

[Colleen]

I don't have any going it alone stories, I figure those will come later when the kids are grown and on their own. I got pg in college, moved back out of my folks home, dropped out and got married. I was only 20 when I got pg so never had that time really to go it alone.

 

I hear what you're saying. I just wanted to clarify, as I did in response to Erica, and say that I'm not thinking specifically about things we experienced before marriage and children. My sister was married a couple of months after she turned 18. One of my brothers was married ~ and a father ~ at 18. But that fact doesn't mean they couldn't do anything on their own, or for themselves, until their children were grown. It may be learning to knit and entering your first sweater in the county fair. Or running a race and crossing the finish line. Maybe it's as simple as driving into the city alone when you've never done that before, or spending an afternoon alone at a museum.

 

I think it's important, even when we're in the midst of raising children, to maintain some independence (I don't mean in a selfish way) and pursue things that interest us, kwim? The other day, after my son's fencing class, he and his brothers were commenting that it would be sort of funny to watch the adult fencing class. I made a point of explaining to them that learning new things, taking part in activities, isn't exclusive to youth ~ despite our culture's message to the contrary.;)

[1bassoon]

 

I think it's important, even when we're in the midst of raising children, to maintain some independence (I don't mean in a selfish way) and pursue things that interest us, kwim? The other day, after my son's fencing class, he and his brothers were commenting that it would be sort of funny to watch the adult fencing class. I made a point of explaining to them that learning new things, taking part in activities, isn't exclusive to youth ~ despite our culture's message to the contrary.;)

 

Absolutely! I think that's part of why I love finding a new way to get somewhere, and doing it without any navigational device. It's a great "Ta-Dah!" moment for me.

 

Right now, I have one piano student - an adult, who is using me as her "Alzheimer's prevention program". It is an absolute joy to teach her. I tell her about every other week how much I admire her for her commitment and willingness to stretch herself.

[the floating cottage]

We LOVE to travel and to us that is our favorite part of homeschooling. Unfortunately my husband only gets 2 weeks vacation a year. His family all live in NJ and we are in Ga. The kids and I go several times a year to visit and branch off anywhere in between. It is such a good feeling to not be afraid to do this. We have been to D.C. and New York City by ourselves. The best part is it has instilled such confidence into my 16 yr dd. She knows she can do anything she wants! I treasure every minute of those memories.

[newlifemom]

One of the first truly alone things I did was move across country when I was 19. Interestingly, the people on LI, thought I was nuts. The major cultures there don't just up and leave family. There are times when I like to explore somewhere all alone. I just get in the car and drive. But one of my favorite moments alone in recent memory was when I was at the Met in NYC. For about 45 min I was alone in the Byzantine section and was able to stare at whatever I wanted w/o bored child along. It was heavenly. Of course it was also short lived. Its funny, when I am alone I miss my family an awful lot, but boy day after day with them leaves me wanting to be alone. :tongue_smilie:

[Cinder]

Mine is also from before I got married. I'm not an adventurous person, really. But at 18 I went off to college, 5000 miles from home. Alone. I had a full scholarship but we couldn't afford for anyone to accompany me on the trip. So off I went with my 2 suitcases and a few dollars in my purse. I had never been to that campus or even that state. But I made it. My roommate helped me a lot with adjusting to things . . . like winter! I met dh there and managed to graduate. Being the first in my grandmother's line to graduate from college was also meaningful for me, and I'm so thankful to my parents for helping me achieve that.

 

Cinder

[swellmomma]

 

I hear what you're saying. I just wanted to clarify, as I did in response to Erica, and say that I'm not thinking specifically about things we experienced before marriage and children. My sister was married a couple of months after she turned 18. One of my brothers was married ~ and a father ~ at 18. But that fact doesn't mean they couldn't do anything on their own, or for themselves, until their children were grown. It may be learning to knit and entering your first sweater in the county fair. Or running a race and crossing the finish line. Maybe it's as simple as driving into the city alone when you've never done that before, or spending an afternoon alone at a museum.

 

I think it's important, even when we're in the midst of raising children, to maintain some independence (I don't mean in a selfish way) and pursue things that interest us, kwim? The other day, after my son's fencing class, he and his brothers were commenting that it would be sort of funny to watch the adult fencing class. I made a point of explaining to them that learning new things, taking part in activities, isn't exclusive to youth ~ despite our culture's message to the contrary.;)

 

See the problem is since having the kids I have never done anything really on my own for myself. Even when I took a cake decorating class I took the baby with me. I guess my biggest going it alone was in regards to parenting and leaving my marriage. It will be 9 years since I made that choice on Sunday, that is the only thing I have done alone in all that time. The kids are always with me.

[hillfarm]

Once upon a time, I worked at a job that required that I travel on business. I loved going to the airport, catching my plane, getting my rental car, finding my hotel, finding my way to the place of business, actually doing the work, and then getting myself back home.

 

I loved that fact that if I landed in a city where I had never been before, I could drive that rental car around in circles all day long if I had to until I found my way and unless I told someone, no one would ever know I had gotten lost.

 

I found the sense of competence to be a very heady brew, indeed.

[helena]

When I was 18 I went to Guatemala with a boyfriend. We went to take spanish immersion classes and were staying in different houses on opposite sides of town. I'll never forget one of the first nights there, we were in the park and he said well see ya tomorrow and left. I will NEVER forget the feeling of walking home alone. For four months I roamed accountable to no one. My mom would almost sound surprised if I called home. I would get up in the morning and check out markets, churches, bookstores whatever. I definitely spent time with my boyfriend, but over all it was an introspective time of my life. My life had been very tumultuous up to that point. I think that trip helped me not to loose myself in all the problems back home. I learned how to find a little peace.

[brinkseven]

I do. I grew up in rural Iowa and had never been anywhere, not even flown. When I was 14 I decided I was going to travel across Europe when I graduated. That is exactly what I did too. I spent the next four years working and saving money. A few months before my graduation I bought my plane ticket to London. I remember reading the words Heathrow Airport and it made me giddy with excitement. I spent six weeks absorbing the people, the cultures, the history, everything around me. I still remember how the Mediteranean was as warm as bath water when we swam at night. I probably could still find my favorite gelato shop in Rome!! I survived on their hazelnut gelato. I remember laying in bed one evening. I was in Spain and music was pouring in through the balcony from the street. My room was stifling hot but it didn't matter I was so happy and content. I had done what I set out to do 4 years earlier.

[Colleen]

See the problem is since having the kids I have never done anything really on my own for myself. Even when I took a cake decorating class I took the baby with me. I guess my biggest going it alone was in regards to parenting and leaving my marriage. It will be 9 years since I made that choice on Sunday, that is the only thing I have done alone in all that time. The kids are always with me.

 

You are raising your children alone, and that in of itself requires a whole heckuvva lotta independence. ((( )))

[Colleen]

I do. I grew up in rural Iowa and had never been anywhere, not even flown. When I was 14 I decided I was going to travel across Europe when I graduated. That is exactly what I did too. I spent the next four years working and saving money. A few months before my graduation I bought my plane ticket to London. I remember reading the words Heathrow Airport and it made me giddy with excitement. I spent six weeks absorbing the people, the cultures, the history, everything around me. I still remember how the Mediteranean was as warm as bath water when we swam at night. I probably could still find my favorite gelato shop in Rome!! I survived on their hazelnut gelato. I remember laying in bed one evening. I was in Spain and music was pouring in through the balcony from the street. My room was stifling hot but it didn't matter I was so happy and content. I had done what I set out to do 4 years earlier.

 

What an adventure ~ and what an inspiration to your own children to follow their dreams! Was your family supportive, or did they think you were crazy for wanting to cross the pond? Did you head over with any sort of game plan? Good for you!:)

[Colleen]

I attended a Don Henley concert by myself after I graduated from college. It was at an outdoor amphitheater in Michigan (Pine Knob). I sat on the lawn and it was an amazing experience - beautiful weather and fantastic music. The most wonderful feelings come up when I think about it. Thanks for reminding me. :)

 

So simple ~ and yet so fulfilling. Thanks for sharing that!

[Colleen]

Right now, I have one piano student - an adult, who is using me as her "Alzheimer's prevention program". It is an absolute joy to teach her. I tell her about every other week how much I admire her for her commitment and willingness to stretch herself.

 

Thanks for your posts. One of my boys relayed to me yesterday that his piano teacher said learning piano is good for the mind. I love hearing about adults learning new instruments, taking up a challenging hobby, etc. I grew up with parents who always talked about being "too old" for this, that, and the other. I never saw them ride a bike or swim or learn anything new, for that matter. (In their defense, they worked very hard; not like they had tons of free time.) When I was little I just assumed that, yeah, they were too old. Now I look back and realize that, good grief! when I was in elementary school they were only in their upper 40s. Certainly not on their way to the retirement home. But you wouldn't have known it from the way my dad talked.

 

Btw, I'm the same as you when it comes to navigating on my own.:D

[Colleen]

We LOVE to travel and to us that is our favorite part of homeschooling. Unfortunately my husband only gets 2 weeks vacation a year. His family all live in NJ and we are in Ga. The kids and I go several times a year to visit and branch off anywhere in between. It is such a good feeling to not be afraid to do this. We have been to D.C. and New York City by ourselves. The best part is it has instilled such confidence into my 16 yr dd. She knows she can do anything she wants! I treasure every minute of those memories.

 

That's great ~ and like you said, it sets a good example. I know a woman roughly my age ~ 40 yo (as of next Monday!) ~ who has virtually never traveled anywhere on her own. She'd like to, but she's too fearful. Quite sad, really. What fun that you've been able to take in places like D.C. and NYC!

[Colleen]

Once upon a time, I worked at a job that required that I travel on business. I loved going to the airport, catching my plane, getting my rental car, finding my hotel, finding my way to the place of business, actually doing the work, and then getting myself back home.

 

I loved that fact that if I landed in a city where I had never been before, I could drive that rental car around in circles all day long if I had to until I found my way and unless I told someone, no one would ever know I had gotten lost.

 

I found the sense of competence to be a very heady brew, indeed.

 

Oh, I loved business travel, too!:)

[brinkseven]

My father was very supportive....my poor mother spent that six weeks on her knees in prayer.

No, I didn't really have a game plan except I read every travel book I could get my hands on. By chance, I meant some amazing people on my trip and we ended up traveling together. Gotta love those Aussies!!

[Colleen]

Mine is also from before I got married. I'm not an adventurous person, really. But at 18 I went off to college, 5000 miles from home. Alone. I had a full scholarship but we couldn't afford for anyone to accompany me on the trip. So off I went with my 2 suitcases and a few dollars in my purse. I had never been to that campus or even that state. But I made it. My roommate helped me a lot with adjusting to things . . . like winter! I met dh there and managed to graduate. Being the first in my grandmother's line to graduate from college was also meaningful for me, and I'm so thankful to my parents for helping me achieve that.

 

I crossed the country on my own to college, too. (Well, it sounds like you did more than just cross the country...Where did you live and where did you go to school?) My parents hadn't gone to college ~ or in my mom's case, not in America ~ and the thought really never crossed our minds that they should come along. Anyway, they wouldn't have been able to afford it and I loved being on my own.

[Colleen]

One of the first truly alone things I did was move across country when I was 19. Interestingly, the people on LI, thought I was nuts. The major cultures there don't just up and leave family. There are times when I like to explore somewhere all alone. I just get in the car and drive.

 

Yes, I loved going off to college ~ 2500 miles away ~ on my own, and I loved moving to new places and exploring them.

 

But one of my favorite moments alone in recent memory was when I was at the Met in NYC. For about 45 min I was alone in the Byzantine section and was able to stare at whatever I wanted w/o bored child along. It was heavenly. Of course it was also short lived. Its funny, when I am alone I miss my family an awful lot, but boy day after day with them leaves me wanting to be alone. :tongue_smilie:

 

I understand.:D Btw, I'm jealous of you, going to the Met! I don't get enough of the fine arts in my life these days.

[Lovedtodeath]

Okay, I feel like mine is really stupid... but... when we went to Disney World with a baby, I had to do some things alone so DH could watch the kids. I road the Aerosmith rollercoaster, Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, Dinosaur, and my favorite... one of my best memories, was riding Pirates of the Carribean. I was all alone. No one else was on the whole ride. It was awesome. I love that ride. I have a book about the making of, etc.

 

So there you have it. Silly really. I was married at 18 and didn't yet have my driver's license. You are hard pressed to find something that I have done independently. Anything that I have done alone tends to stand out in my mind.

[Colleen]

When I was 18 I went to Guatemala with a boyfriend. We went to take spanish immersion classes and were staying in different houses on opposite sides of town. I'll never forget one of the first nights there, we were in the park and he said well see ya tomorrow and left. I will NEVER forget the feeling of walking home alone. For four months I roamed accountable to no one. My mom would almost sound surprised if I called home. I would get up in the morning and check out markets, churches, bookstores whatever. I definitely spent time with my boyfriend, but over all it was an introspective time of my life. My life had been very tumultuous up to that point. I think that trip helped me not to loose myself in all the problems back home. I learned how to find a little peace.

 

That sounds absolutely wonderful. I would have loved it then ~ and I'd still love it now. So what happened to the guy?;)

[squirtymomma]

I went (alone) to the English L'Abri for 7 weeks after I graduated from college. I also broke up with a boyfriend in a letter while I was there... a friend dubbed it the "trans-Atlantic drop-kick". :lol:

[Cinder]

 

I crossed the country on my own to college, too. (Well, it sounds like you did more than just cross the country...Where did you live and where did you go to school?) My parents hadn't gone to college ~ or in my mom's case, not in America ~ and the thought really never crossed our minds that they should come along. Anyway, they wouldn't have been able to afford it and I loved being on my own.

 

I was born and raised in HI. Guess I had island fever. I had been to CA twice. When I was 15 I got to go on a big trip to Spain with stops in London and Paris. Language "camp" majorly subsidized by my high school. But CA was the only other state I'd been to. All my high school friends were either staying in HI or going to CA. At 18 I thought, well CA will be just like HI but on the other side of the ocean. So I went to NY. Culture shock to be sure. I hated the first time I saw the leaves change and fall. Love it now, though. Loved my first snow but didn't care for mile-long trips on icy sidewalks to the grocery store. I was a bit giggly the first time I drove to another state. I was definitely homesick but being there really was a great adventure for me.

 

Thanks for the memory stroll!

 

Cinder

[Amy loves Bud]

While on a six week mission trip to SE Asia, I was able to spend a day alone taking in Hong Kong. My wandering took me to the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club. Well, when I saw that, I really needed to have a shirt, ya know?

 

But they would not let me in. Very snooty about it, too.

 

But I really needed that shirt.

 

So I wandered around the club, peering in through the fence, until I came to the boatyard. Where there was a gate chained shut. But it opened up just enough for me to slip in under the chains.

 

I wandered through the boatyard and toward the club, and ran into two boys who were probably around 12 years old. When I asked them where to get a shirt, they told me to go to the "ship shop" in their lovely British accents, and pointed me in the right direction.

 

When I went to purchase my shirt, the clerk was very confused that I wasn't putting it on my account, and had to ask someone how to take cash! I was sure I was going to get thrown out.

 

But I got my shirt, walked back through the boatyard, and slipped back through the gate.

 

That was the day I realized that you don't always have to follow every single rule.

 

And I still have that shirt, 21 years later.

[Mom2boys]

Once when I was driving home from college, I saw a little traveling carnival. They had a big ferris wheel, and on impulse, I stopped to ride it. The sun was setting, there was a gentle breeze, and I rode the ferris wheel all by myself. It was so beautiful and peaceful! I could have ridden it for hours. Definitely a favorite experience.

 

The other thing was that I moved to Albuquerque for my junior year of college. I was bored with Ohio and wanted to live someplace really different for awhile. I knew one person in Albuquerque, so I decided to go there. I enrolled at UNM, bought a plane ticket, and had a fantastic year experiencing the culture of the southwest. :D

[linders]

I didn't marry until I was 36 so had lots of time to try different things. Three stand out...

 

1. Climbed a volcano in Hawaii to see a solar eclipse.

2. Ended up backpackping through Europe by myself for 7 weeks when a friend backed out.

3. Did a solo race in a sailboat in Puget Sound.

 

Seems like someone else's life compared to my homeschool-mom life now!

[helena]

I married his best friend:tongue_smilie:

Last I heard he was going to become a priest!

Edited February 27, 2009 by helena

[Jean in Newcastle]

So much of my life was alone. I went to boarding school at age 11 alone. I traveled to the United States and went to college here alone. I went back to Japan and did a couple of summer internships at a Japanese university and hospital alone. I went to a Japanese symposium on autism alone (and as the only foreigner). Later, when I worked at a U.S. engineering company I flew to Alaska and did research there alone. Obviously there were people present at all those places but no one with a special connection of love to me. It was empowering in a "I'm an independent person" sort of way but it was lonely.

 

Then I got married and had kids. I have that special connection now. And sometimes it can be a bit stifling! Most recently I've started to do something alone again - I'm singing solos and I'm loving it (at one time I was a vocal major with terrible stage fright). But now my kids want me to sing duets with them . . . . (I let them on occasion).

[Peela]

My husband and I went on separate spiritual retreats when we got married. Our kids were young- about 3 and 4- and so we gave each other the gift of a retreat while the other looked after the kids. It was the best honeymoon we each could have had at the time. I had a week in a town on the other side of Australia,doing a retreat I wanted to do- the town just got burned down last week in the Victorian fires.

In both 2003 and 2004 I went to India for 3 weeks on my own.

And most years I go off and do a silent retreat for a week.

So alone time is not scarce or unsupported in my life, and I value it highly and dh has always made sure I get it. Dh does the minimum with the kids while I am away, but he keeps them alive :) and they enjoy the different dynamic of not having me around. You know, pizza for dinner every night and all that.

[KJB]

to anywhere (frequent flyer miles) and I went to San Diego and had a romance with my cab driver from Afghanistan for the week I was there. He was so cute and so exotic. His family had fled their home country and his father had been killed. He was the oldest son. He had quite a fascinating (and sad) story. He was just 25 and I was 20.

 

I got a weeks worth of free cab rides and I had a great time!

 

When I went back home (back to college) he continued to call me, but, alas, it wasn't to be. I think to have had a real relationship with him, I would have had to consider changing my religion. I also think, in "real life", he would have been really controlling. But, it sure was fun to let him show me around and buy me dinner! Not to mention, his stories really opened my eyes to the harsh realities for people in so many places around the world.

[Mad Jenny Flint]

First one was taking a bus trip down the coast to interview for graduate school. It was the only interview I did and the only program at which I was accepted, out of 11 schools (clinical psych is extremely competitive). I think taking the bus down, alone, to interview helped to impress them.

 

Second was to fly to the beach to visit a girlfriend a few years ago. It was a trip just for me.

 

I think learning how to take small moments for yourself in everyday life is the real trick, though.

[FriedClams]

Working oil spill clean up after Valdez in the middle of nowhere. It was my first time to Alaska. It was SO far from my comfort range. I went from big planes to little planes to a sea plane. I had never been on a little plane and here I was landing on water and wading to shore with my backpack to find my new home. It was the most beautiful place I have ever been. I lived for a couple of weeks on a sailboat monitoring clean up. I was 19 and I felt like I was really doing something useful. It was unreal. I even started to get sick and just had to deal with it as an adult. I learned a ton about Alaska, the wildlife, leadership, people. Though I am still heartbroken over the impetus for my trip for me it was a great experience.

[JaniceO]

I guess I have two. I'm another that didn't have any alone time before getting married. Moved out of my mom's house into an apartment with my then fiance (now husband of 13 years). I haven't gone to college yet, so no wild college experiences either. My experiences have come while being a married mother of 4.

 

The first one would be when I planned my trip to Thailand. True, I was going to visit my husband, but I took care of all the arrangements (flight, hotels, etc) by myself and took the flight by myself. This was a pretty big deal to me because I've always been a bit too dependant upon my husband. I'm usually the one to plan things, but not without first asking him a hundred questions to be sure I'm doing things right.

 

The second thing would be surviving a 6 month deployment with 4 kids. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely HATE having my husband gone. Really. It makes me miserable. And all of the other times he deployed don't stand out the way the last one does. His last deployment was in the summer of 2006 (he's on shore duty now). I managed to move me and the kids from Hawaii to Washington state by myself (well, with Navy help). I then took the kids out and we explored as often as we could. We actually had fun while my husband was gone. That is a big thing for me. And I realize it probably sounds totally lame to a lot of you, but that's okay. I realize it's lame too, lol.

[LNC]

Last year I took my daughter to Acadia National Park. I had all of my trails planned. It was a big deal bc I was diagnosed with MS a year before and had spent a year in intense pt learning to walk again. I still had a cane, but my goal for the year was to climb a mountain! And I wanted to see some seals.

 

Well, I had an attack 4 days before we left. A major one. By the time we left, I was taking 10 prednisone pills and a muscle relaxer several time a day to straighten my legs so I could walk at least in airports. I couldn't walk far though. Well, during a layover I accidentally took 10 muscle relaxers and 1 prednisone. When we got up in the 2nd plane, I started to have trouble breathing. I called the flight attendant and she yelled for help while I passed out. They made an emergency landing and I spent hours in the er in Vermont. I was still determine to make it to Acadia. So, we had to start the journey over - flights back and forth to get there by the middle of the night. I kept drinking coffee, laying down in airports with my head lower than my legs so I wouldn't faint etc. We finally got there and I crashed at an airport hotel for a few hours. We made it to Acadia a day late for our 3 day trip. We still had a fabulous time. Instead of hiking, we took nature cruises and a trolley tour to the top of the mountain.

 

So, you have my first alone traveling story and my most humiliating story all together! No one in my real life besided my husband knows that happened!! This year, I want to take her to Charleston and her and my son to Williamsburg. My husband has to stay home with my special needs kids. I will do it right this year - and leave the muscle relaxers at home!

Edited February 27, 2009 by LNC

[Catherine]

I went alone to Boston (from my rural childhood home) for the summer, jobless, after my sophomore year in college. Found a job as a deckhand for a tour boat company-I did this for 2 consecutive summers. I met some fascinating people-and realized just what an innocent, untarnished childhood I had had!

 

I finished medical school and moved to a city I had never lived in, far from home, completely alone, to start my residency training. Left a bad relationship behind. It really suited my sense of adventure to "leave everything behind"-as far as my career was concerned. I adopted my new city as a home and met my dh. Had my oldest the last month of residency.

 

Do any of you wish for these kinds of experiences for your children? I really do, yet it is so hard to let go! I am just almost paralyzed by the fear that something bad will happen. How do you let them go?

[Catherine]

Lame is about the last thing it sounds like to me. I feel as if I'd fall apart totally if I had to handle them alone for 6 months, without moving!! You sound more than competent to me.

[Ria]

This might sound silly, but my "going it alone" favorite experience has been getting my job as a pharmacy technician.

 

I'd been out of the workforce for 20 years, and last year, when I knew I needed to work, I decided where I wanted to work and went after it! I interviewed (twice...this is scary when you haven't done it for decades!). I got the job and worked very hard to learn how to do it well. I LOVE what I'm doing! I have more confidence in myself now than I've ever had. I love the fact that I have a little piece of life that's all mine.

 

Ria

[Jenny in Atl]

My first solo experience, besides school, was when I was 13. I flew to Cape Cod by myself. It was both exciting (as I love to fly) and terrifying. My mom had my connecting flight all planned out for me, even drew me a map with the gate #. But when I arrived at Logan Airport, they were doing some renovations, and had moved my connecting flight to another terminal on the other side of the airport. :willy_nilly:

 

Thanks to a Hare Krishna dude (he told me where to go and gave me $$; since I had to take a bus to the other terminal) I was able to find my way. The plane was an old WWII style prop plane that you boarded from the tail-end and walked up hill towards your seat. As we flew to the Cape, we stayed close enough to the ground, that I could see all the cars and homes along the coast. For the first time, I really felt like I was flying.

 

My flight back home later that summer was a breeze. Since I was a seasoned traveler by then. ;)

[elegantlion]

I love these stories.

 

I love to travel and I was dating my now husband and we planned a camping trip together. We were in Kansas City and going to the Rocky Mountains to camp and hike for a week. A few weeks before the trip he broke up with me, nerd, so I took a modified trip anyway. This was before cell phones, I had a giant boom box in the car that played tapes, that will tell you the era.

 

I drove without plans, just a promise to call my parents each night. I drove all the way from Kansas City to Colorado Springs in one day, and stayed in some dinky motel. I visited the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, drove up through Wyoming and back home through Nebraska. I had a map and some cash. I stopped and visited sites along the way, I don't remember all of them. I even stopped in the middle of Nebraska to watch Thelma & Louise at the theater. It fit perfectly with my little adventure.

 

I made it home and my boyfriend and I got back together shortly afterward. We've now been married 16 years and we still like adventures. I just thought of this. He still owes me a camping trip to the Rockies, we never did take that trip together. :lol::lol::D

 

 

ETA: I just called dh to tell him he owed me a trip. he laughed and agreed.

Edited February 27, 2009 by elegantlion

[unsinkable]

After my parents died I couldn't stand to be in the Buffalo area anymore. I'd had met a few people who said the American southwest was the most beautiful place in the world. So I looked at a book of colleges, pickked UNM at Albuquereque, applied, got accepted and drove out there.

 

I was alone. I didn't know a soul. I hadn't been further west than Cedar Point. It was exciting and terrifying and a release all at the same time.

 

I panicked when I got to Tucumcari. I was 3 hours away from UNM and I wanted to turn back. I was 1300 miles from home and I was really scared. I had no one at home anyway.

 

I stopped at a Denny's (?) and a busboy and I started chatting. He was so impressed and wistful when I told him where I was going. I felt awful for him...he was 3 hours away and he couldn't go to college/the city. It was the kick I needed.

 

I probably drove 80 mph the rest of the way into Albuquerque.

 

:auto:

[Susie in CA]

I had a few.

 

When I was 21 I drove a camper from Orlando to Boston, alone. This was propably the lonliest thing I have ever done. I still talk about it proudly.

 

After I was married I flew to Europe. I took a train from Munich to Italy to meet up with my parents. I went alone because back then we just didn't have much money. My husband went alone to see his family that same year.

 

A couple of years ago I went to Austria alone again. The occasion was a sad one but it was at the same time wonderful to spend time with my Mom and Dad and not having to care for children.

 

That's it for longer duration trips. I do take classes at a college now and I do mostly to do something fun and interesting for myself on my own.

 

Susie

[swellmomma]

You are raising your children alone, and that in of itself requires a whole heckuvva lotta independence. ((( )))

 

 

Thank you for saying that. I was starting to get depressed reading all these adventures people had and realized even going to work I wasn't alone as I took my kids with me. Even when I have gone to homeschool conferences or to my women's bible retreat I always have at least 1 kid with me. However I did finally remember some things, going to college was alone, I was living on my own, raising my kids and went back to college TWICE in fact. And on my second time back in college I took a skydiving course one weekend. The jump got cancelled due to a blizzard that blew in which is why I forgot but I spent the whole day learning how to skydive without any of my kids. The funny thing about the whole ordeal is that I am terrified of heights, like can't stand on a kitchen chair afraid but was willing to jump out of a plane because I wanted to face that fear. When the jump got cancelled though I never rescheduled, I wasn't that brave to head back a second time lol

[Doran]

I've never been much of a "go it alone" sort, not before marriage nor since. That's not to say it doesn't happen in various ways, but traveling alone is not something I crave, like some people do. That is why one solo trip really stands out as the creme de la creme.

 

I was 28 years old. Six months earlier, I had finally ended a six year relationship with the man I'd *thought* I would marry. Traditionally, we took a week long vacation together over Labor Day, usually a sailing trip, so I had already asked for time off from work in anticipation of that holiday. Suddenly, I had no one to vacate with!

 

I lived and worked in NC at the time, and mid-summer, my employer had reason to travel to Boston on business. Upon his return, he placed a flier on my desk from the New England Aquarium advertising a working-sailing trip aboard the Spirit of Massachusetts. "Just thought this might interest you," he chirped. I was in no mood to be humored. I tossed the ad aside and gave it little additional thought until about two weeks before Labor Day when suddenly the urge to go somewhere - anywhere - hit me like a train. I finagled a flight reservation at an affordable rate and began making plans. My mother told me later that my father was very resistant. "You can't let her go off to Boston by herself!" Parents are cute, aren't they? Suzanne, my apartment mate, began making inquiries as well, expressing that my trip sounded like such fun she'd like to join me. For the first time in my life, I didn't want a companion along. I wanted this to be *my* trip, but I hadn't the nerve to tell her that. Imagine my relief when she couldn't find a suitable plane ticket!

 

The whole experience was unforgettable. The crew and we paying passengers worked, laughed together, saw hump back whales, and sang silly sea shanty songs for hours at a time, for five days. I fell madly in love with one of the crew and we were married 5 months later! We celebrated 18 years together on Feb. 23.

 

One special journey indeed.

Edited February 27, 2009 by Doran