How many extracurriculars do you allow?

[Penelope]

Ds is 6 and the oldest of 3. There are soooo many things on his list of things he would like to try or take lessons for. Tennis, horseback riding, karate, music lessons for two different instruments, and the list goes on. He already does Scouts, soccer in the fall, and T-ball. He'd like to be on the swim team this summer, which would mean a month or two of swimming lessons and regular swimming before summer.

 

Of course he can't do it all, but even two sports and a music lesson a week (especially if one sport is martial arts as that is twice weekly most places) seems like a lot when I have to schlep all three kids and then wait for him. And what about when the other two get older? That many activities wouldn't be sustainable, unless they could be in some of the same classes or leagues together.

 

How many activities do you allow?

[EKS]

I allow what we can afford, what makes sense with our schedule, and what won't drive me crazy. At the moment that means practically nothing.

[JenneinCA]

We do music class, scouts (Cub and Girl) and I am working on getting swimming lessons started. That is the absolute maximum *I* can handle without going insane. It is the limit for our finances too, but honestly I am the limiting factor.

[YHZNS]

I have an almost 5 year old and a 2 year old. It is always a struggle to find a balance. I try to schedule everything during the week so the weekends are "family" time. Both of my children take swimming lessons. I have arranged it so they go into the pool at the same time. The classes are also in the evening so, if my husband is home, he can take them. My oldest also takes skating lessons once a week. This class is only during the winter months though so that isn't too bad. On Fridays, my oldest daughter takes an art class with other homeschoolers. It is near the library so we have turned Friday into our library days. The only class I couldn't schedule for the weekend is my oldest daughter's piano class. It is on Saturday mornings. We have had to say goodbye to gymnastics and ballet classes because it felt like we were always on the go. In the summer, we only go to family swims. I am still on the fence as to whether or not I should put my oldest in Sparks next year.

 

Rebecca

[Sarah CB]

We allow one main sport and one instrument. However, we also do short stints of other lessons.

 

Our sport (Taekwon-do) and our music run year round so I couldn't imagine adding another year-round activity. But, we do participate in shorter lessons - like tennis lessons that only last for four weeks or a session of swimming lessons.

 

I try to look at what sports/activities will likely be used through their whole lives. For us, tennis is something that we can see them enjoying as adults, so doing a 4 week session of tennis lessons every couple of years translates into the ability to play tennis together for fun as a family and hopefully will give them an activity they can enjoy their whole lives.

 

Swimming is the same - it's something we do for fun on weekends, but it's also a skill that needs to be learned so that's why we have them do a session of swim lessons each year.

 

We try to be moderate with this stuff. There's no need to do continuous swim lessons all year round. It's hard on the budget, on the family schedule, and it doesn't make a huge difference in the overall outcome.

 

We also try to streamline our activities. All of our kids will do Taekwon-do. That way I'm driving to the same place and they're attending the same tournaments. Three of them do violin - again, less driving and less stress.

[JudoMom]

We are very selective, and I look for things that they can all do together as well as the skills that are taught. We do Judo (as a family) and piano (lessons are back to back). I couldn't haul kids all over town to different lessons and stay sane (especially looking into the future), although as they all get older, things seem more doable than they did even a year ago.

 

If one of my boys had a burning passion to do another sport, I would consider it, but they haven't so far (although I did consider flag football for awhile, but interest wained before the boys was old enough).

[elise1mds]

I've told the kids two things each, or three things if one of them can be done together. They can't both be sports. DS wants to do Cub Scouts and either swimming or guitar lessons (still deciding). DD wants violin lessons and gymnastics, though she's going to be just flat too tall for that in fall, and I'm going to have to work out how to break that to her.

[nmoira]

I think the right number of activities is that with which you don't feel continually stressed (after an adjustment period) and that you can comfortably afford. This will vary from family to family.

 

DD the Elder has four activities (three year round), DD the Younger three (two year round). However, they do the same activities and, with one exception, all are nearby. Some activities are twice a week, so we end up with one weekday and Sunday free (Sunday free swim with dad is optional). If we start to feel overwhelmed, we can drop one day of swimming lessons and have two free weekdays. Since weekday activities are the same time each day it makes for a feeling of routine and easy scheduling; this is a tremendous help, and gives us a sense of flow.

[Jenny in Florida]

Now, if you really boil it down, my son does just three (and a half) things: dance, choir, organ lessons (and model rocketry once a month with his dad).

 

So, it doesn't sound too bad.

 

But the reality is that he has five dance lessons at two different locations on four days a week. And choir requires not just the weekly Thursday rehearsal but at least one Saturday morning rehearsal and an average of one performance a month. And organ is the weekly lesson plus one or two extra trips each week to the church so that he can practice.

 

And that doesn't cover the few months out of every year when he's rehearsing a ballet or community theatre production and has those rehearsals on top of the normal stuff.

 

It's totally crazy, and I don't recommend it. We do it only because, with only one at home most of the time, we have the luxury to indulge him. And also because, truthfully, he's just a whole lot happier and more productive and easier to get along with when he's busy.

 

In general, I would say parents should allow what fits into the family's budget and schedule, what makes the kiddo happy, and what doesn't drive the parents insane.

[Ellie]

We were very selective, also.

 

Absolutely no outside acivities until after, oh, 3 in the afternoon, other than the weekly field trips that I scheduled for us.

 

No being gone every night of the week, either, although that was negotiable, but nothing such that both Mr. Ellie and I had to be driving different dc to different activities on the same night.

 

Your schedule would be a trainwreck for my family. :eek:

[LoveBaby]

We are very selective. My children are involved in co-op, which is great because we all go to the same place at the same time! And my DD has piano lessons after co-op, so we are only required to be out of the house 1 day/ week. I try to schedule our errands and appts. on the morning of co-op as well, to limit how much we are running around. Nothing gets done around the house, we get behind on schoolwork and we eat out waaaay too much if we are out of the home too often.

 

Our co-op plans field trips to different places during the summer months, so I don't try to plan a lot of that into our fall/winter schedule.

[arcara]

My kids go to Homeschooler's Swim and Gym class at the local YMCA, classes for homeschoolers at a local private college that are taught by students in their education dept., and religious education classes at church.

 

Even this seems a bit much at times, but I'm not sure what I could cut out. Swimming lessons are essential in my book, the kids love their classes at the college, and the religious ed classes (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd) are really great, too. We definitely couldn't add anything to this.

[GailV]

My 2 daughters tend to like the same things, which simplifies things tremendously.

 

They have "main" activities: Scouts, choir, piano, Irish Dance (which will suck up all the time and money that you're willing to pour into it, believe me).

 

And they have short term activites: a 5 week sequence of ice skating lessons, a winter of indoor archery lessons.

 

The older dd has finished the Y swimming sequence, and the younger can't cope with lessons in the winter -- she gets way too cold -- so the archery and skating fill in for the swimming.

[fivetails]

We moved two months ago, and right smack before the holiday season, so extra-curricular stuff has only started over the past bit...right now, dd12 and ds10 both attend a homeschoolers skating group on Tuesday afternoons, dd12 has a "Girlz Rock" group (study group at church) on Tuesday evenings, and Youth Choir (community choir) on Wednesday evenings. That's about it for now, though there's an AWANAs group starting up that we're checking out ... We don't really place a "limit" - it just depends on what we can afford, what works. :)

 

Oh yes - dd12 also takes guitar lessons - but that's with my cousin (like an uncle to the kids) who lives with us, so there's no running around involved...

[katemary63]

I only have 1 young child so she does get to do more then when I had the other three. My DD7 is heavily involved in 4-H, but that is only 1 meeting / month unless we are getting ready for a horse show or county fair, then 1 practice / week. She goes to Awanas every Wed night all "school year", she takes PE and Music co-op classes, she takes piano lessons but they are taught by my son's girlfriend in our home, She takes 1 session of swimming each summer, thats everyday for 2 weeks. And she does Upwards cheerleading or basketball ( alternates) in the winter, that's 2 X week for 8 weeks. We also ride every week at home. So music class, PE, Awanas and 4-H are pretty much constants and swimming and cheerleading are short term.

 

I have a girlfriend with 7 boys, all within a year or 2 of each other. She let them each do 1 thing and 1 thing only. If they chose piano lessons, fine, it would be all year. But if they picked a sport, they could do it during the season and then that was it - no other sport at another season. So the boy who choose baseball, was not allowed to play football during the fall. One thing each. They did, however, do long distance bicycle riding all together as a family.

 

If I had more kids, I would definately limit it and not feel guilty about it.

[HSmom25andRN]

It depends on finances, other committments (do you work? is a family member/ friend/neighbor sick and in need of help? do you have a baby or small child at home? how many children do you have?), etc.

 

I notice that my children cherish the activities, practice them at home and really enjoy them when I DON"T allow them to do everything they want to do. They are treated like a reward here. Angela

[runamuk]

I have two children, ages 4 and 9. They're both taking swimming lessons right now, although the oldest has been asking to drop swimming and take up fencing. I have no problem with that once she learns to swim. :) The oldest is participating in a Girl Force program at the Y (it's an 8 week course) and is taking guitar lessons. Normally, I wouldn't schedule more than two activities per child per week, but I felt the Girl Force program was such a strong program that I decided to add a little extra chaos to our week over the next two months. lol

 

The 4 year old hasn't taken an interest in anything else right now, except banjo lessons. He's a little young yet, so he's waiting not-so-patiently until he's 6.

[Jen in PA]

At this point, I limit it to 2 days per week, and we cram all of our outside activities in. If something interests the kids and falls on one of those days, and is afforable, I add it. I couldn't get both kids in swim lessons on the days we were doing everything else, so I take them swimming myself once a week, and we can switch to formal lessons at a later date. Both kids have dance on the same day, at the same place, which is very helpful. DD takes science classes at the natural history museum, which works well for DS, since he can explore there with me while she is busy -- and when he's old enough, he'll be joining her for the classes.

 

Things will get trickier next yeafr, when we hope to add in music lessons.... I'm not sure how busy our schedule will be at that point, and how we'll cope.

[Donna]

Our life is crazy. The number of activities varies depending on interests and time schedules.

 

When my oldest was your son's age, it was one activity...taekwondo. Now the boys do most of their activities together...music once a week same day and time, wrestling 4 days a week, and judo once a week. My 6yodd now has fiddle and violin (both on same day), Celtic music group once a month, and noncompetitive gymnastics once a week.

 

We have had to prioritize and juggle a bit. All are very involved in music and the boys in wrestling so the other activities would be the first to go if I got too stressed or money became tight. We did cut taekwondo this year. We all had our black belts except dd so it was a tough decision but they had other interests that were more important to them.

 

Schedule juggling is my biggest challenge at this point.

[phathui5]

I don't have a specific number. I allow what fits in with my work schedule (I do childcare) and our homeschooling schedule.

 

Right now ds1 takes taekwondo 2 or 3 nights a week.

 

All but the baby take gymnastics on Tuesdays.

[Matryoshka]

I have three kids.

 

Paid activities:

They each take one instrument (and one only :-) My voilinist does take group on top of her private lesson.

 

The general rule is they each take one physical activity. This has gotten a bit complicated as the one kid with a passion - ballet - is now up to 2-3 classes a week. The others have been dabbling. This year they tried skating, but I've also let one of them try volleyball, as it's only one day a week and wasn't too pricey. The other one has now decided she's tired of skating and would like to try gymnastics or ballet again, but she has to drop skating to do this, and it's only okay if it's on the same day of the week as the previous activity so I don't lose my mind. I let them try a softball clinic last year and may have one or more try tennis this spring, as I'd like them to find a physical activity that they like and can continue with... Other than the volleyball which only meets one day a week (including games), we have done no team sports.

 

They all go to German Sat. School

 

Unpaid or very cheap activities:

a non-academic coop that we decided this year make into a 4H group

Chorus

Writing class (my mom teaches)

Science Coop

Spanish (I teach this, but kids other than my own are in the class)

My violinist plays in a band

Monthly book group

 

Phew. No wonder I'm tired.

I've also had them take art classes, which I would love to continue, but they are sooo expensive!!

[Homeschooling6]

AWANA on Wed. and that's about it:blush:

[3lilreds in NC]

We have something 4 of 5 nights per week. It's not my first choice, but it's OK for now because dh helps drive them.

 

Emma dances 3x per week.

 

Abbie has a 2-hour gymnastics class 1x per week.

 

Both girls do horses 1x per week.

 

We are in a co-op that meets 2x per month, which we love and is much better for us than the weekly one we used to attend.

 

I would like to get the girls into piano lessons, and know a teacher who could come to our house on Saturdays. We will see about that. At least I wouldn't have to go anywhere to make that happen.

[Penelope]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and schedules.

 

Obviously I can't do everything the kids want to do. I feel that, especially with this particular ds, DH and I need to make a rule starting now for going forward.

 

Our friends and acquaintances who utilize public and private schools have crazy schedules. I was really hoping we could avoid that, but the reality is that most activities are geared to after-school or after-work times, making dinner a harried experience on those nights. :(

 

In one way I feel that I shouldn't limit sports, because my kids are missing out on P. E. for physical activity. They do get regular exercise, but sports are a great way of making sure they develop their bodies. But, I hear you, Mom going crazy with too much running around is not good! LOL

[Plaid Dad]

One sport, one art (drawing, music, etc.). But we only have one child.

[Aurelia]

We limit activities to 2 or 3 a week, and try to keep them close to home. I just can't drive all over everywhere every day. I'd go insane. This past year, Ariel did ballet and tap January-May (repeating the cycle again this year), swimming from March-December and gymnastics from June forward. Because they are all year-round, I like her to have a break of at least a couple of months from each activity every year.

 

I'm not sure how everything will work out once PS goes back to school for the fall because we have an opportunity to join a co-op/enrichment school that lasts nearly all day and she really wants to go. I think if that happens, we would have to cut back to just one other activity outside the co-op. It helps that I only have one child, so we can follow her interests without having to worry about activities for other children.

[Susie in CA]

Ds 9 does Karate and takes Piano lessons.

 

Ds 8 does Gymnastics, Archery and takes Recorder lessons. Gymnastics will change again when Soccer season starts. He loves soccer.

 

We all take an Art class together.

 

This is the amount we can handle and still get our other things done.

 

Susie

[Haiku]

I have three kids. Each is allowed one sport and one other activity. Dad is responsible for getting them to and from sporting events because he is the one who pushed for sports. I handle getting them to their other activity. I don't want to spend my life schlepping kids around, I don't think that long lists of activities benefit kids, and we are not made of money. If/when my kids come to me wanting to do something else, I tell them that they are free to drop one of their existing activities to make room for it. They never do. ;)

 

Tara

[Mom22ns]

Number of activities has less to do with the decision than level of involvement for us. My daughter does competitive gymnastics. She spends 12 hours/week at the gym. For her, gymnastics is about it. She will start playing an instrument next year when she is 10, but we won't let her make any other significant commitments.

 

My son on the other hand, roams from one short term activity to another. He is in orchestra year around, horseback riding in the summer, swimming team in the spring and we encourage other activities during other seasons, dependent on his current interest. The combination never adds up to my daughter's one activity lol.

 

Its important to make sure you family is still intact, your child gets to develop their interests and passions and your budget is not blown! Every family and every child is different. Start slowly, you don't have to try them all the first season. Teaching a child to set priorities is important too. :001_smile:

 

Debbie

[Parrothead]

I'm all for taking as many as we have time and money for. I'd prefer a few in the summer and different ones during the school year. Dd takes TKD and dance right now. If I can ever find a decent piano teacher she will go back to that.

[Vida Winter]

Depends on the time of year somewhat.

 

One activity (Tae Kwon Do) for dd13, twice a week, year round. Science Friday (8:30am-4pm) coming up in the spring.

 

One activity for 8yodd and 4yodd (swimming) once a week, but only October-November. We don't have a community pool - it involves a teacher using a hotel pool which is only available off season.

Little girls' club meeting starting up this month, but only once a month.

 

Summer will be packed with trips, camping, summer camp -- but winters in Eastern Oregon are long and cold, and we don't live near any cities. I like to spend a lot of time at home. We get a lot done.

[Mommyof4ks]

Each of my 3 kiddos have 2 activities each (the two littles are in the same gymnastics class which helps), but we do allow for trials with other activities. This allows them to experience new things and decide if they would prefer to drop an existing thing in favor of the new thing.

 

Does your city have a recreation department that has 6-8 week classes where he could try out new things without making such a big time commitment? Maybe summer camps as trials (we have done this alot)? Co-ops in your area?

[Mere2]

I'm one overscheduled solo Mum:D

 

DD 61/2 does gymnastics, ballet, swimming, tennis, music class followed by piano lesson and all day French class. She would love to do more gymnastics and swimming classes during the week....when I dont know?!

 

DS 4 1/2 (Special Needs) does swimming, karate, tennis, music and Kindy x 2 mornings a week.....add in also physio, speech and OT.

 

Fortunately they do swimming, tennis and music at the same time (however different classes).

 

Wednesday is my only free day - and I just found out that the local HS group meets on Wednesday and physio wants DS to take up horseridding....decisions, decisions.

 

So far I can keep up, however it wont be long before some classes have to be cut when more time is required for school. At the moment I prefer that try lots of different things before they have to cut back due to school work.

 

Fi

[hihoboneo]

We've only allowed them one, but we also considered their age and other evening events, such as church, when looking at extra things.

It can get overwhelming to be going every night of the week, so i'd say pray about it and talk with your husband about it to be agreement is KEY.