Could you live like this scenario

[Miss Tick]

Would you be able/interested to do the floors? I have a friend who did the living room herself, she said it wasn't bad.

The windows, though, seem trickier.

[Elizabeth86]

2 minutes ago, marbel said:

Then I would not move. I mean, I'm speaking for myself now, but I would die on that hill. 

(Of course maybe your current house is not "done" either.)

We have been talking about a shed for probably 5 years now... 

I will be moving. It would be an upgrade for sure IF I get the essentials done. There are plenty of details that I’ll be willing to work on though the years, but in my mind windows and a door MUST be done before I move in.

[marbel]

3 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I will be moving. It would be an upgrade for sure IF I get the essentials done. There are plenty of details that I’ll be willing to work on though the years, but in my mind windows and a door MUST be done before I move in.

A door?

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, Miss Tick said:

Would you be able/interested to do the floors? I have a friend who did the living room herself, she said it wasn't bad.

The windows, though, seem trickier.

I’m not sure I’m capable? Especially with the baby? This is another sore spot. The plan for the floors that his parents decided was kind of a rustic design. It is basically just wood boards of poplar. Poplar is not a great floor choice. Just google it. Just nailing the boards down, not like store bought hardwood. SO that leaves gaps or gaps happen. It doesn’t wear well. So that was when his dad was  around. I want store bought hard wood. He says that is too expensive. I said I’d settle for laminate. He doesn’t like it. He wants the original plan. I do not. He has to plane them. Mail them down. Stain them. All that. 

[Elizabeth86]

3 minutes ago, marbel said:

A door?

Idk somehow it corrected or something. I meant floor. There are doors. lol

[fairfarmhand]

You're not a diva for wanting working windows and floors. Nope. 

MY attitude toward things like this would be "Dear, I know you would fully intend to move us into that house and plan on getting everything done in a timely manner. I know your desire is for us to have a nice place to live. But you're busy. And we have x number of kids. And when something is not an emergency, it just doesn't get finished. Not because you're bad or intentionally putting it off, but because you're already stretched thin. I do not want to live with non-working windows and unfinished flooring. If the a/c goes out or there is a fire, those windows not working is going to be a very big deal. So my minimum are those things."

Also, I've pointed out to my dh that he goes off all day long to work while *I* and my kids have to live with broken stuff. Or half finished projects. Or trying to keep a toddler from dragging out tools and equipment that are left out while a project takes longer than expected.  Day. After. Day.  I am the one who is too embarrassed to invite friends over because my house looks wretched and I cant guarantee their kids' safety because there's always an air nailer lying around. In other words, I have to paint a picture of what life in a construction zone with small kids is like. 

[marbel]

Just now, Elizabeth86 said:

Idk somehow it corrected or something. I meant floor. There are doors. lol

Ah OK, glad to see there are doors! It didn't occur to me, even though clearly you were talking about floors as well.

 

[marbel]

2 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

You're not a diva for wanting working windows and floors. Nope. 

MY attitude toward things like this would be "Dear, I know you would fully intend to move us into that house and plan on getting everything done in a timely manner. I know your desire is for us to have a nice place to live. But you're busy. And we have x number of kids. And when something is not an emergency, it just doesn't get finished. Not because you're bad or intentionally putting it off, but because you're already stretched thin. I do not want to live with non-working windows and unfinished flooring. If the a/c goes out or there is a fire, those windows not working is going to be a very big deal. So my minimum are those things."

Also, I've pointed out to my dh that he goes off all day long to work while *I* and my kids have to live with broken stuff. Or half finished projects. Or trying to keep a toddler from dragging out tools and equipment that are left out while a project takes longer than expected.  Day. After. Day.  I am the one who is too embarrassed to invite friends over because my house looks wretched and I cant guarantee their kids' safety because there's always an air nailer lying around. In other words, I have to paint a picture of what life in a construction zone with small kids is like. 

This. 

And, your kids will grow up thinking that this is a normal way to live. Your daughters will put up with it in their own relationships and your sons will be the same as their dad. Ask me how I know. 

Do you get any say at all? He's just gonna move ahead with his "plan" to do these goofy floors and won't even consider a compromise? Your wishes mean nothing?

Edited July 15 by marbel

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, fairfarmhand said:

You're not a diva for wanting working windows and floors. Nope. 

MY attitude toward things like this would be "Dear, I know you would fully intend to move us into that house and plan on getting everything done in a timely manner. I know your desire is for us to have a nice place to live. But you're busy. And we have x number of kids. And when something is not an emergency, it just doesn't get finished. Not because you're bad or intentionally putting it off, but because you're already stretched thin. I do not want to live with non-working windows and unfinished flooring. If the a/c goes out or there is a fire, those windows not working is going to be a very big deal. So my minimum are those things."

Also, I've pointed out to my dh that he goes off all day long to work while *I* and my kids have to live with broken stuff. Or half finished projects. Or trying to keep a toddler from dragging out tools and equipment that are left out while a project takes longer than expected.  Day. After. Day.  I am the one who is too embarrassed to invite friends over because my house looks wretched and I cant guarantee their kids' safety because there's always an air nailer lying around. In other words, I have to paint a picture of what life in a construction zone with small kids is like. 

YES! All this. Well said too.

[Bambam]

Our current house has two very large windows that do not open. It does not bother me - the others do.  It does take a fair amount of effort to get a couple of them open. But we rarely open the windows. Too hot in the summer, and too pollen-y in the spring and fall, and icky in the winter. 

Floors - if there was a reasonable plan to get them done, it wouldn't bother me. If it was more -- when we get the money (unknown time frame - maybe 1 years maybe 30), that would bother me. Do banks give loans on that type of house?  ETA:  The reasonable plan would have to be acceptable to me. Because of the two people in this household, one wants to do everything themselves (which takes forever and emergencies are always happening so things get delayed and delayed and delayed) and one wants to pay professionals to do everything.  Compromise is hard, but hopefully a way can be found. 

Edited July 15 by Bambam

[Elizabeth86]

3 minutes ago, marbel said:

This. 

And, your kids will grow up thinking that this is a normal way to live. Your daughters will put up with it in their own relationships and your sons will be the same as their dad. Ask me how I know. 

Do you get any say at all? He's just gonna move ahead with his "plan" to do these goofy floors and won't even consider a compromise? Your wishes mean nothing?

I know, right? Honestly people should take a LONG hard look at their future in-laws before getting married. 
He usually lets me call the shots about deciding things, but he is absolutely firm on this.

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, Bambam said:

Our current house has two very large windows that do not open. It does not bother me - the others do.  It does take a fair amount of effort to get a couple of them open. But we rarely open the windows. Too hot in the summer, and too pollen-y in the spring and fall, and icky in the winter. 

Floors - if there was a reasonable plan to get them done, it wouldn't bother me. If it was more -- when we get the money (unknown time frame - maybe 1 years maybe 30), that would bother me. Do banks give loans on that type of house? 

He will never take out another loan. 

[marbel]

Once when my husband and I argued about hiring someone to do work, he said "you want it done fast; but I want it done right." 

I asked what exactly had been "done right," since NOTHING had been done.  We then spent some time discussing the finer points of his argument, all of which were invalid. 🤣

 

[Elizabeth86]

All this being said. I do love my husband dearly. He works his butt off at his job and I’m proud of his recent promotions. We are just 2 different people that expect life to look differently. 

[QueenCat]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Would you move into a house where 75% of the floors are just subfloor? I think the smart thing would be to finish the floors first then move. WDYT?

Also, would you live in a house where the windows do not open? Does this seem unsafe? Wouldn’t you want to be able to get out if there was a fire? That not unreasonable is it?

Sorry I just need a check on myself sometimes. I never truly know if I’m being unreasonable. 

No to either. Flooring would need to be put in first. And windows that are supposed to open MUST open. 

[QueenCat]

3 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

When I think of a sub floor I think of a concrete slab because that's what I know from growing up/living in Florida. We lived with concrete slab for about 6 months in our old house when we first moved in. The carpet was too nasty so we had it taken up and it was that long before we could get other flooring done. I don't think it's that big of a deal if there are plans to get the flooring done.

Windows that won't open would be a deal breaker for me. I don't think that's safe. 

Subfloors are usually plywood on the second floor. Or if there's a basement below the main floor.

[Elizabeth86]

Just now, QueenCat said:

Subfloors are usually plywood on the second floor. Or if there's a basement below the main floor.

It’s all plywood. I keep imagining my ancient cat peeing on it and the stink remaining forever 

Edited July 15 by Elizabeth86

[prairiewindmomma]

Floor and decor has prefinished solid white oak for under $6 ft sq. They ship to your door…takes 4-6 weeks. It’s way cheaper than the big box stores. Just plan on a 10% wastage because there will be the occasional bad board. 

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Floor and decor has prefinished solid white oak for under $6 ft sq. They ship to your door…takes 4-6 weeks. It’s way cheaper than the big box stores. Just plan on a 10% wastage because there will be the occasional bad board. 

That’s awesome!!

[prairiewindmomma]

For prefinished white oak treads we used Stairtreads.com. Since everything was just a natural/ clear coat finish, it all matches. 
 

The only hard part for us was finding spline. Big box stores havent had it in stock for years and floor and decor doesnt sell it. We had to hunt down a store for contractors and drive a bit to get it.

[QueenCat]

50 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I have no choice about how it gets done.

But you do have a choice about moving in there or not. Don't let your dh think that you do not. 

[fairfarmhand]

One thing I also point out to my dh is HIS stress level and his ability to have time for the family. He thinks he's super man. Never should need to sleep or rest on a weekend. My job is to remind him that he's human and has limits. "Dear, our children are growing up fast. I want them to remember that their dad loved them and spent time with them. I don't want them to remember dad always busy with a project, mom being irritable because raising kids and enjoying life, and keeping house in a home that is not finished is incredibly hard. I don't want them to remember that I was resentful because my vote on this house wasn't respected. I don't want them to sense that dad always has the floors or the home repairs in the back of his mind. I don't want them to remember arguments over stuff like this. I'd rather stay where I am, reasonably content, than enter into this new house with the situation as it is. I'm telling you what I need to be onboard with this move. You can, of course, bulldoze your way over me. But I know, that you don't want to treat your wife that way." 

[marbel]

10 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

All this being said. I do love my husband dearly. He works his butt off at his job and I’m proud of his recent promotions. We are just 2 different people that expect life to look differently. 

I get you. I'm the same. My husband has lots of good qualities. I just wish I had learned to manage this particular... characteristic... earlier in our marriage. 💗

[Elizabeth86]

6 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Floor and decor has prefinished solid white oak for under $6 ft sq. They ship to your door…takes 4-6 weeks. It’s way cheaper than the big box stores. Just plan on a 10% wastage because there will be the occasional bad board. 

Actually no I thought that was cheap, but that’s how much dh estimated and he said it’s too much

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, fairfarmhand said:

One thing I also point out to my dh is HIS stress level and his ability to have time for the family. He thinks he's super man. Never should need to sleep or rest on a weekend. My job is to remind him that he's human and has limits. "Dear, our children are growing up fast. I want them to remember that their dad loved them and spent time with them. I don't want them to remember dad always busy with a project, mom being irritable because raising kids and enjoying life, and keeping house in a home that is not finished is incredibly hard. I don't want them to remember that I was resentful because my vote on this house wasn't respected. I don't want them to sense that dad always has the floors or the home repairs in the back of his mind. I don't want them to remember arguments over stuff like this. I'd rather stay where I am, reasonably content, than enter into this new house with the situation as it is. I'm telling you what I need to be onboard with this move. You can, of course, bulldoze your way over me. But I know, that you don't want to treat your wife that way." 

See he isn’t going to be rushed or stressed because he sees it as a life long project to putter away at.

[fairfarmhand]

Just now, Elizabeth86 said:

See he isn’t going to be rushed or stressed because he sees it as a life long project to putter away at.

So irritating his wife is also a lifelong project?

[fairfarmhand]

1 minute ago, Elizabeth86 said:

See he isn’t going to be rushed or stressed because he sees it as a life long project to putter away at.

I've told my dh that when we married we agreed that outside the house was his, inside the house was mine. If he makes it hard for me to do my job (creating a lovely, peaceful, pleasant place to live--notice I said nothing about expensive or fashionable) then I will need to go get another job. Because I refuse to spend my whole day staring at things that infuriate me. Stacks of project materials, tools, etc. over time will lead me to resentment and then I'll become a harridan. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Just now, Elizabeth86 said:

Actually no I thought that was cheap, but that’s how much dh estimated and he said it’s too much

Gently, he’s not grounded in reality. Most hardwood in flooring shops is running $15/ft sq. Home Depot, with worse milling (seriously, go open a box and look) is $6.99/ft on sale.

You can buy a cheap laminate or vinyl, but it’s going to look like poo in a few years. Dh and I went through this argument about 10 years into our marriage. I bought samples of a lot, and scratch tested them in front of him. 
 

My dh is stubborn as heck, so it takes me bringing him evidence some times—he has to see he is wrong, and then he will come around.

What I am hearing in your backstory is finances are tight, you are spilling out of your house and are short on time and energy as well. It doesnt sound like your priorities are fully aligned and he thinks because he is doing the work, he gets to make all of the calls. I would guess he is in the magical thinking rut—if we could just move then everything will fall into place—we’ll have more room and can be either debt free or close to debt free. The reality is that you are just picking up a different set of problems.

[Elizabeth86]

5 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Gently, he’s not grounded in reality. Most hardwood in flooring shops is running $15/ft sq. Home Depot, with worse milling (seriously, go open a box and look) is $6.99/ft on sale.

You can buy a cheap laminate or vinyl, but it’s going to look like poo in a few years. Dh and I went through this argument about 10 years into our marriage. I bought samples of a lot, and scratch tested them in front of him. 
 

My dh is stubborn as heck, so it takes me bringing him evidence some times—he has to see he is wrong, and then he will come around.

What I am hearing in your backstory is finances are tight, you are spilling out of your house and are short on time and energy as well. It doesnt sound like your priorities are fully aligned and he thinks because he is doing the work, he gets to make all of the calls. I would guess he is in the magical thinking rut—if we could just move then everything will fall into place—we’ll have more room and can be either debt free or close to debt free. The reality is that you are just picking up a different set of problems.

Finances are really not that tight. Honestly, we have 5 kids and with the child tax credit or whatever we will get back over $10,000 next year. We don’t have much debt and will have next to none if we sell our house. I DO want to move, but I want it liveable before we go. We have cheap laminate and it looked good for about 7 years or so. I’d be thrilled with have that, but he isn’t interested. We 💯 could do the wood floor I want, BUT he is set on using the wood already available to him for free.

Edited July 15 by Elizabeth86

[Carol in Cal.]

For me, the floors would need to be done nicely before I moved in.  I can't imagine doing them room by room, and hokey hand done wood would not be acceptable.  It would be LVP or hardwood, and the hardwood would be the old fashioned kind that does not have a bunch of stupid dirt grabbing fake wormholes or v grooves between the planks.  No, it would be flush hardwood, a straight surface, level, either oak or Brazilian cherry.

The upstairs windows would have to open.  I would be less concerned about the downstairs ones, assuming that there are at least two exit doors.  I do like working windows but the lack thereof would not be a show stopper for me.

[ScoutTN]

Nope.

[elegantlion]

Ex-dh and I always lived in fixer uppers. I did pull 1970s carpet out and lived with a concrete subfloor for a while. Plywood is a different matter, especially with little kids and old cats. 

Windows and floors were always a given when we looked at homes. 

If he's not going to budge, you have a few options. 

• Buy cheap carpet remnants and put it down without the tack strips or buy large vinyl remnants and put it down temporarily. It's a pain and not necessarily pretty but it will do in a pinch.
• give him a time limit and then hire it out - or do it yourself. I wouldn't do carpet on my own because of the stretching issue, but I would tackle vinyl tiles on my own.  
• For the windows, if it's all of them, then I'd at least make sure that bedroom windows open - that's a safety issue. My mom has an older home where one set of living room windows don't open but there is close access to other egress. 
• Remind him that cat urine loves to soak into plywood and that if the floors aren't done quickly, he'll be replacing all the plywood too. 

 

Good luck. I got sick of waiting for ex to do things. 

Edited July 15 by elegantlion

[Katy]

You know if you move in without floors and functioning windows they will NEVER get done.

This is a hill I would die on.

You cannot even sell the house in that condition to anyone who can't pay cash.

[Elizabeth86]

6 minutes ago, elegantlion said:

Ex-dh and I always lived in fixer uppers. I did pull 1970s carpet out and lived with a concrete subfloor for a while. Plywood is a different matter, especially with little kids and old cats. 

Windows and floors were always a given when we looked at homes. 

If he's not going to budge, you have a few options. 

• Buy cheap carpet remnants and put it down without the tack strips or buy large vinyl remnants and put it down temporarily. It's a pain and not necessarily pretty but it will do in a pinch.
• give him a time limit and then hire it out - or do it yourself. I wouldn't do carpet on my own because of the stretching issue, but I would tackle vinyl tiles on my own.  
• For the windows, if it's all of them, then I'd at least make sure that bedroom windows open - that's a safety issue. My mom has an older home where one set of living room windows don't open but there is close access to other egress. 
• Remind him that cat urine loves to soak into plywood and that if the floors aren't done quickly, he'll be replacing all the plywood too. 

 

Good luck. I got sick of waiting for ex to do things. 

I think it is all the windows and yes the bedroom windows are what I’m worried about

[fraidycat]

Sub-floor is doable.

Windows MUST open, though. At least in all sleeping areas.

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, Katy said:

You know if you move in without floors and functioning windows they will NEVER get done.

This is a hill I would die on.

You cannot even sell the house in that condition to anyone who can't pay cash.

I know that for sure

[Kuovonne]

I would want the floors and windows done before moving in. But I think that I could deal with them in extenuating circumstances. 
 

I rarely open the windows in my home. It is too hot outside. Our floor plan also has plenty of doors. No-one in my family smokes. Some tall buildings do not have opening windows on upper floors, or only have tiny windows, even though people sleep and cook on those floors.

[PronghornD]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

The reason I ask is that we most likely will inherit dh’s parents house and the is is the situation. Dh says he’d move straight in. I say floors and windows first. He thinks I’m a bit of a diva or whatever to insist on these things being done. 
 

And to answer the question about subfloor. It is plywood and it is still subfloor because it was a DIY house that never got finished.

And the windows? They got them used and for whatever reason they sealed them shut I guess? I really don’t remember the details of this. I will have dh take a look to see what is up with that. All I remember is that you cannot open them.

If the situation is that the windows were painted shut, try using a butter knife (or some such thing) along the seams to loosen it. We did this with a window and got it open.

[fairfarmhand]

How long ago did the parents pass? My dh got really weird about dealing with my in laws stuff when they died. I can totally see him digging in about a weird construction idea just because his dad had it. He would have seen my objections as a personal attack on his parents’ ideas and taste. (Signed the lady who has her dead mother in laws ugly sofa in my living room) I have no idea how to remedy it. Grief makes some people do odd things.

[Elizabeth86]

5 minutes ago, PronghornD said:

If the situation is that the windows were painted shut, try using a butter knife (or some such thing) along the seams to loosen it. We did this with a window and got it open.

I’m not sure that’s it. I’ll have to find out why and get back to you on that

[Elizabeth86]

3 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

How long ago did the parents pass? My dh got really weird about dealing with my in laws stuff when they died. I can totally see him digging in about a weird construction idea just because his dad had it. He would have seen my objections as a personal attack on his parents’ ideas and taste. (Signed the lady who has her dead mother in laws ugly sofa in my living room) I have no idea how to remedy it. Grief makes some people do odd things.

Yep I think that’s it. His dad passed a year ago and his mom back in the spring. That and he doesn’t like to spend money.

[kbutton]

10 minutes ago, elegantlion said:

Remind him that cat urine loves to soak into plywood and that if the floors aren't done quickly, he'll be replacing all the plywood too. 

I think this is big.

Also, the vinyl wouldn’t even have to be remnants—floating sheet vinyl is inexpensive. Some types can go directly on subfloor.

I think if you’re okay with vinyl planks that don’t look good after a few years, maybe you could be okay with poplar that doesn’t either IF it goes down before moving. I think before moving is a BIG compromise for you if he’s not even willing to install real flooring at all.

2 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

There is a LOT of things I’d like changed, but the the floors and windows are the only things I don’t want to budge on. Being really extra, I want to say I need a dishwasher, but I can see that really isn’t necessary. 

We went without one for a little while, and we spent a minimum of two hours per day washing dishes. 

2 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I doubt that. The whole house only got underway about 16 years ago. The windows were used, but not old. They are like that white plastic-y material. No paint at all.

I wonder if someone used the wrong kind of insulating foam, and they got squeezed shut. If so, maybe they just need that chiseled out and the correct foam applied. Before moving, of course!

1 hour ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I have no choice about how it gets done.

Is your name on the house you live in? You can refuse to sell. That’s a big power move, but your DH is not being honest with himself. If I thought it would make a difference, I think I would tell him that you can’t in clear conscience accept a lie, and the evidence indicates that not having this done before move-in is assenting to the lie that it will get done when it won’t.

1 hour ago, QueenCat said:

But you do have a choice about moving in there or not. Don't let your dh think that you do not. 

Exactly.

[kbutton]

10 minutes ago, Kuovonne said:

Some tall buildings do not have opening windows on upper floors, or only have tiny windows, even though people sleep and cook on those floors.

With totally different code expectations than single family homes!!!

[Elizabeth86]

Just now, kbutton said:

I think this is big.

Also, the vinyl wouldn’t even have to be remnants—floating sheet vinyl is inexpensive. Some types can go directly on subfloor.

I think if you’re okay with vinyl planks that don’t look good after a few years, maybe you could be okay with poplar that doesn’t either IF it goes down before moving. I think before moving is a BIG compromise for you if he’s not even willing to install real flooring at all.

We went without one for a little while, and we spent a minimum of two hours per day washing dishes. 

I wonder if someone used the wrong kind of insulating foam, and they got squeezed shut. If so, maybe they just need that chiseled out and the correct foam applied. Before moving, of course!

Is your name on the house you live in? You can refuse to sell. That’s a big power move, but your DH is not being honest with himself. If I thought it would make a difference, I think I would tell him that you can’t in clear conscience accept a lie, and the evidence indicates that not having this done before move-in is assenting to the lie that it will get done when it won’t.

Exactly.

I see what you mean, but the homemade floor won’t look nice because I see what’s been put down and I see the dirt in all the cracks . At least cheap floor would look good for several years.

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, kbutton said:

I think this is big.

Also, the vinyl wouldn’t even have to be remnants—floating sheet vinyl is inexpensive. Some types can go directly on subfloor.

I think if you’re okay with vinyl planks that don’t look good after a few years, maybe you could be okay with poplar that doesn’t either IF it goes down before moving. I think before moving is a BIG compromise for you if he’s not even willing to install real flooring at all.

We went without one for a little while, and we spent a minimum of two hours per day washing dishes. 

I wonder if someone used the wrong kind of insulating foam, and they got squeezed shut. If so, maybe they just need that chiseled out and the correct foam applied. Before moving, of course!

Is your name on the house you live in? You can refuse to sell. That’s a big power move, but your DH is not being honest with himself. If I thought it would make a difference, I think I would tell him that you can’t in clear conscience accept a lie, and the evidence indicates that not having this done before move-in is assenting to the lie that it will get done when it won’t.

Exactly.

Yes my name is on our house too.

[kbutton]

1 minute ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I see what you mean, but the homemade floor won’t look nice because I see what’s been put down and I see the dirt in all the cracks . At least cheap floor would look good for several years.

Ah, gotcha. I would not be willing, in this case, to move at all.

He could sell the poplar, and then maybe the flooring would not seem so expensive.

Maybe he should put his parents’ home on the market and fix up the one you live in or add onto it, etc.

It’s not fair to tie you to his parents’ sucky decisions because he’s a skinflint.

[kbutton]

3 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Yes my name is on our house too.

Bargaining chip. I know it’s nuclear, but his attitude is already nuclear. 

[fairfarmhand]

Do you know anyone who is in construction? My dh has a good friend who’s helped him see reality on a couple projects when I couldn’t get through to him.

[Elizabeth86]

Just now, kbutton said:

Ah, gotcha. I would not be willing, in this case, to move at all.

He could sell the poplar, and then maybe the flooring would not seem so expensive.

Maybe he should put his parents’ home on the market and fix up the one you live in or add onto it, etc.

It’s not fair to tie you to his parents’ sucky decisions because he’s a skinflint.

Right, but see, I’m a really outdoorsy person. We will be moving from 1/4 an acre (next to crappy neighbors) to 100 acres of nature. It’s an awesome thing and it would be AMAZING if he’d just go for putting idk like $25-$30,000 into it, ya know? Not everything sucks. They have done many nice things and has a lot of potential. 

[kbutton]

I should also note that I grew up in a fixer upper with a DIY dad, and we had to fix a lot on both houses we lived in as DIY. I put up with a lot (happily, actually) and still think this is unrealistic with the added information.