Melissa in Australia Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 (edited) We have started sending our 12 year old twins 3 days a week to special school. It not only gives dh and I a much needed mental break, but is the planned pathway for them to go to supported living once adults and find disability supported jobs when an adult. they have been attending since May. Today one was threatened with a screwdriver by another student. This boy has beaten one of them up previously. We have spent the last 9 years trying to help these boys feel safe. I feel the school has failed in their duty of care to keep my boys safe They didn't even ring to let us know What would you do? Please remember in reply that it is a special school for significantly disabled children Help me see from many angles. At the moment I am in angry mum bear mode Edited September 5, 2023 by Melissa in Australia 37 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 I am so sorry. I can't speak to educational laws in Australia, but I would imagine there are some safeguards in place through a plan of some sort? Here we have individual education plans (IEPs) with all of the diagnosis, the plan, etc.... I would start at the school level and report it and ask who witnessed it, why you weren't notified, ask for a meeting with the admin and teacher team to ensure this doesn't happen again. If they are not receptive to that, I would contact someone in a legal department (here we can hire student advocates or hire a legal team) and have someone ready to fight for you. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 5, 2023 Author Share Posted September 5, 2023 Every child at this school had IEPs Thank you for those ideas. Will Include them In my email Unfortunately I can't have a face to face meeting as I am still in hospital hundreds of kilometres away 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 5, 2023 Author Share Posted September 5, 2023 The boy stole the screwdriver in a class before so I think lack of supervision in the class before as well. It was at recess that the incident hsppened. This boy isn't in twins classroom. The twins are in the "quiet" room and the other boy is in the "noisy" room. Meaning the kids in the other class have disabilities that may involve making lots of noise. I don't know the other child, but the boys have told me previously he has something wrong in his head that makes him very angry in a second. Then a few minutes later he is friendly. So no self regulation I am guessing. 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 8 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said: Every child at this school had IEPs Thank you for those ideas. Will Include them In my email Unfortunately I can't have a face to face meeting as I am still in hospital hundreds of kilometres away Ask for a zoom meeting if you can. that way it is still with visible faces. And I figured every student had something, I just wasn't sure if you guys called them IEPs as well. 3 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said: The boy stole the screwdriver in a class before so I think lack of supervision in the class before as well. It was at recess that the incident hsppened. This boy isn't in twins classroom. The twins are in the "quiet" room and the other boy is in the "noisy" room. Meaning the kids in the other class have disabilities that may involve making lots of noise. I don't know the other child, but the boys have told me previously he has something wrong in his head that makes him very angry in a second. Then a few minutes later he is friendly. So no self regulation I am guessing. The buzz word to use is, "I don't feel that my child is safe around that student." Just keep addressing that either you don't feel he is protected and safe or that he doesn't feel safe with that other student. If they deflect, I would start pressing more with questions about where the teacher and the aide were, how this child got the "weapon" (and use the term weapon), why it got as far as it did, etc.... 13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 This must be super stressful when you are stuck in hospital! Does the school have a policy on violence, threats etc? Something like anti bullying policy or similar that you can quote? 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 (edited) My son attends a similar school. Every child has special needs that cannot be met in a general school by their special education team. Mostly behavioral and mental health needs vs academic. As far as safety, I feel it’s probably one of the safest schools in the area because there are both a heavy police presence daily that are specially trained to interact with students with disabilities as well as a plethora of social workers. But threats still happen. Things like screwdrivers are always locked up but occasionally you’ll have an outside maintenance person who doesn’t know much about the school’s population and why it’s important. My son has been bullied and threatened even though the school truly does do a good job at monitoring interactions. Unfortunately, it’s part of having an entire student body that has behavioral and mental health disabilities. Threats, anger, impulsive violence is to be expected but should be better managed. Absolutely you should have been notified and you should request a zoom meeting. Stress that your child’s needs include feeling safe at all times and now he doesn’t feel safe now. Ask what they plan to do to help him feel safe in school again. Edited September 5, 2023 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again 14 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 I have no answers but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it was like to get this news from your family from so far away. You already have so much to deal with, and you miss them so much. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 Would it help the school jump on the situation and provide more supervision of the other student if you said something like, "My son has already been assaulted by this student before, and now is threatened with an item that can be used as a weapon. Is this beyond the scope of what you can handle? Should I involve the police? Because if you need the help of the police in this matter, let's get that happening now before something worse occurs." Say it sweetly, in a nice passive aggressive voice like you are only trying to help them get a grip on the problem. No idea if that is the right course of action. I think it is very hard for schools, to be honest, when they specialize in dealing with an entire student body of special needs children who need intensive supervision. But still, they also need to not have anything laying around that can be a weapon, and clearly since there has already been physical assault, the other student needs a one to one aide, or some sort of direct, intensive supervision. I am really sorry, Melissa! You didn't need this right now. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 26 minutes ago, Faith-manor said: Would it help the school jump on the situation and provide more supervision of the other student if you said something like, "My son has already been assaulted by this student before, and now is threatened with an item that can be used as a weapon. Is this beyond the scope of what you can handle? Should I involve the police? Because if you need the help of the police in this matter, let's get that happening now before something worse occurs." Say it sweetly, in a nice passive aggressive voice like you are only trying to help them get a grip on the problem. No idea if that is the right course of action. I think it is very hard for schools, to be honest, when they specialize in dealing with an entire student body of special needs children who need intensive supervision. But still, they also need to not have anything laying around that can be a weapon, and clearly since there has already been physical assault, the other student needs a one to one aide, or some sort of direct, intensive supervision. I am really sorry, Melissa! You didn't need this right now. I don’t know if this is the right answer either, but I can tell you I know of a situation here where the school district couldn’t do anything until the parents got a restraining order from a judge. At that point the child could either go to a different school district (bussed at his old district’s expense), or be a home-bound student where a teacher would visit him and teach him at home for something like 3 hours a week. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 From what I can see with a quick review of my study stuff To fall under the bullying category and be covered by anti-bullying policy it needs to be a pattern not a single incident. You already have two so that helps, but if there’s anything else that establishes a pattern you might be able to get it addressed that way. If an incident of harassment/bullying is specifically related to a disability in some way there’s a section of the disability standards for education thing. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case but just thought I’d mention it just in case. I’m not sure how is best to handle it. I guess you need to maintain a positive relationship with the school as much as possible if they are part of your long terms strategy but I imagine if it was one of my kids I’d have a very hard time doing that. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 4 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: My son attends a similar school. Every child has special needs that cannot be met in a general school by their special education team. Mostly behavioral and mental health needs vs academic. As far as safety, I feel it’s probably one of the safest schools in the area because there are both a heavy police presence daily that are specially trained to interact with students with disabilities as well as a plethora of social workers. But threats still happen. Things like screwdrivers are always locked up but occasionally you’ll have an outside maintenance person who doesn’t know much about the school’s population and why it’s important. My son has been bullied and threatened even though the school truly does do a good job at monitoring interactions. Unfortunately, it’s part of having an entire student body that has behavioral and mental health disabilities. Threats, anger, impulsive violence is to be expected but should be better managed. Absolutely you should have been notified and you should request a zoom meeting. Stress that your child’s needs include feeling safe at all times and now he doesn’t feel safe now. Ask what they plan to do to help him feel safe in school again. My daughter has attended a school for kids with behaviors for 7 tears. It just goes with the nature of the student body. It is frustrating when my kid is the victim, but then other days my kid is the bully. Her school keeps her wayyyyyy safer than a traditional school. More staff, more observation, and quicker response by fully trained staff. Constant meetings between team members help all the staff be familiar with the students and the ebb/flow of their struggles. Talk to the school, let them know your expectations. Much love and BTDT. I hope the school year goes wonderfully 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 5, 2023 Author Share Posted September 5, 2023 Would it be reasonable for me to request the school keep violent boy away from my children? The other student looses it multiple times a day and becomes aggressive towards students around him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 5, 2023 Author Share Posted September 5, 2023 It is very possable that my boys aggravate other boy to set him off. They do that to each other constantly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 2 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said: Would it be reasonable for me to request the school keep violent boy away from my children? The other student looses it multiple times a day and becomes aggressive towards students around him. I think that is fine. Keep them separated if at all possible. And then when you are better and you and Dh are ready to tackle issues, you can ask the school for help in training the boys to understand what behaviors are triggering to their classmate. This way they can learn how to tune in to things like that. It is so tough! I am sorry, Melissa. I keep hoping that you will catch a break from stress very soon. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 5, 2023 Author Share Posted September 5, 2023 (edited) Just found out this morning that last week same other student threatened my child with scissors because he wanted him to hop off a swing and when my child didn't he cut my child's finger. Ds showed my dh the cut this morning and said that he was so upset that is why he wouldn't talk after school last week. Edited September 5, 2023 by Melissa in Australia 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 27 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said: Just found out this morning that last week same other student threatened my child with scissors because he wanted him to hop off a swing and when my child didn't he cut my child's finger. Ds showed my dh the cut this morning and said that he was so upset that is why he wouldn't talk after school last week. Okay, that is a serious level of escalation. The next time this child might stab someone. I think at the least, the school needs to provide an adult aide full time to that child. There really needs to be a full on safety plan, and the parents of that student needs to be fully informed and on board with that plan. I am so sorry for your little boy! That just breaks my heart for him. Poor little guy. I really hope the school gets on board immediately. 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nart Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 I would make sure you are emailing not calling so there is a paper trail. Unfortunately schools won't agree to do anything to another child because of confidentiality issues, so you have to write the complaints indicating what you want for your kids. So you need to write that your twins are developing anxiety or need update social emotional evaluation or need counseling to deal with being cut and threatened with a screwdriver. The more you demand for your own kids, the more incentive there is for the school to keep the bully away from your kids. I also would be CC'ing whoever is in charge of the school. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 Dh is ringing them Right now. And I will be emailing soon. Dh is very good at giving lectures. He rang me and prept himself just before ringing the school. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 Go get 'em, Melissa's DH! I'm sure he'll be as polite as possible, but really, this can't be allowed to continue. It's dangerous. Hugs, Melissa. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 Just sent a very direct email. Addressing the 2 incidents and stating how the school has failed in their duty of care to both keep students safe and inform us of the incidents so we could arrange extra psychological support. I also included that the school. Is obviously lacking in appropriate supervision both in the classroom and out. If the school response isn't appropriate I will be raising it higher in the education department 11 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 I would have DH file a police report. Mostly for the additional paper trails. Which here at least would provide additional support for that student too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 Got the vague response we were expecting. My child wasn't stabbed with the screwdriver so everything is OK. Child was made to apologise. Supervision is adequate My child should have gone to a teacher and reported it 😠😠😠😠 My child hides when terrified he doesn't seek help Guess I will have to go higher in the education department. But it never yields results. The principle can always smooth things over 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Louise Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 https://www.vic.gov.au/make-complaint-or-concern-about-your-school Outlines the process to follow 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 Thank you very much 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 8, 2023 Author Share Posted September 8, 2023 A more positive update Principal has investigated Principal agrees there was lack of active attention by supervising staff. He said he will address this. He will tighten policy regarding use of tools in classrooms and active supervision to stop them being removed He has a greater understanding of my son's trauma response to flee and never seek adult help. And will make sure all staff are aware of this. He is very disappointed that yard duty teacher didn't report to him as per school policy so he wasn't aware of either incident until we brought it to his attention The other student's parents have been informed. Though we have never blamed the other student it was a failing of the school to not support the other student to help him keep others safe 35 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 I’m glad to hear the principal took it seriously. Good for you for advocating! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 Melissa, I'm so glad things went so well with the principal. Thanks for updating. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Louise Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 I hope your dh can follow up with her in a week or so and find out what changes have been made. So many things don't get reported as per policy! It's so wrong. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 Melissa, I am so relieved!! Yay, this principal gets it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditto Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 I hope things have been better and the school is proactive in making sure this doesn't happen again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 Fantastic outcome! I’m so glad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 Glad to see this update. I hope they follow through as promised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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