Jill Duggar’s Tell All book (coming January 2024)

[Katy]

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Counting-the-Cost/Jill-Duggar/9781668024447
 

This description is amazing and I’m so glad they’re finally doing it.

[Annie G]

Me too.  It’s curious that she used Jill Duggar on the cover instead of adding Dillard. 
I don’t understand that family at all. I thought the relationship with Jim Bob was already strained, but saw a video of him meeting Jill’s newest baby at the hospital, and everything seemed fine. (Though I don’t recall her husband being in the room ).  When Freddie was born she was already well into the book writing, and  Shiny Happy People had already filmed.  I wouldn’t think JB would be happy about the book and series. 
She’s strong and I wish her all the best. 
 

 

[Faith-manor]

Well, between this and the docuseries, I think we can safely say Jill has cut the apron strings. I do feel sad for her. This has to be so damn hard. She was a sister mom to so many kids. If you watched the show, you could see that JimBob ans Michelle were just supremely lazy parents, and made those older girls run the house, cook the meals, take care of all the younger kids. The episode of them leaving for vacation on a bus, and making Jessa, Jana, and Jill pack for the entire family which was, if memory serves, 18 or 19 people at the time, drag heavy luggage out to the bus and load, get all the younger kids out of bed and dressed, plan the meals, pack the food, while the "parents" did nothing was a real eye opener, amonf many others like Jackson lost at the airport and endinf up comforted by his sister mom NOT his parents, Jackson falling into the orchestra pit, being seriously injured, and Michelle laughing and filming it while his sistermom was beside herself worrying about his injuries, Josie having a major seizure beinf tended to by Jana with the production crew calling the ambulance, and JimBob and Michelle calling it a "glitch" and refusing to come home feom their shopping trip, and on and on. If they were willing to be that absent as parents when the cameras were rolling, and not even ashamed of it, how much worse was it when the camera crew was not around? Joy Anna and several others are really Jill's children because birthing a human doesn't actually make you a parent, just an incubator. She will probably lose her relationship with Joy Anna because her husband, Austin Forsyth is still a member of IBLP as are his parents and most of his siblings. She will likely not be allowed communication with the kids still at home.

I celebrate for her, the fact that she is brave enough to blow the whistle on the abuse, neglect, the evil that is IBLP, and the complicity of her parents in all this. Someone needs to do it. But the personal cost will be high. Nothing will change at the Duggar household. 

[Faith-manor]

5 minutes ago, Annie G said:

Me too.  It’s curious that she used Jill Duggar on the cover instead of adding Dillard. 
I don’t understand that family at all. I thought the relationship with Jim Bob was already strained, but saw a video of him meeting Jill’s newest baby at the hospital, and everything seemed fine. (Though I don’t recall her husband being in the room ).  When Freddie was born she was already well into the book writing, and  Shiny Happy People had already filmed.  I wouldn’t think JB would be happy about the book and series. 
She’s strong and I wish her all the best. 
 

 

I don't see any reason she shouldn't use Duggar. 

Duggar is what people know. They do not know the name Dillard. It doesn't mean much to them and especially because not long after they married, they left the show. For marketing purposes, it makes no sense to use Dillard. It doesn't ring memory bells for the people to whom they are marketing. It is awkward to hyphenate.

For what it is worth, my daughter did not change her name, my daughter in law is not changing her name, and if I had it to do all over again, I would not bother with changing my last name.

I wonder if Jill kept the docuseries and boom under wraps last summer when Frederick was born. She had high risk pregnancies, and the stress of a raging father would not be good. I could easily see her not telling them at that time.

[Katy]

1 hour ago, Faith-manor said:

I don't see any reason she shouldn't use Duggar. 

Duggar is what people know. They do not know the name Dillard. It doesn't mean much to them and especially because not long after they married, they left the show. For marketing purposes, it makes no sense to use Dillard. It doesn't ring memory bells for the people to whom they are marketing. It is awkward to hyphenate.

For what it is worth, my daughter did not change her name, my daughter in law is not changing her name, and if I had it to do all over again, I would not bother with changing my last name.

I wonder if Jill kept the docuseries and boom under wraps last summer when Frederick was born. She had high risk pregnancies, and the stress of a raging father would not be good. I could easily see her not telling them at that time.

Agreed. She can use an author name as whatever she wants.

The women in my family who didn’t change their last names have found it awkward when they had children to not share the same last name. Only one found it irritating enough to change her name later. 

[Katy]

1 hour ago, Faith-manor said:

She will probably lose her relationship with Joy Anna because her husband, Austin Forsyth is still a member of IBLP as are his parents and most of his siblings. She will likely not be allowed communication with the kids still at home.

I celebrate for her, the fact that she is brave enough to blow the whistle on the abuse, neglect, the evil that is IBLP, and the complicity of her parents in all this. Someone needs to do it. But the personal cost will be high. Nothing will change at the Duggar household. 

I agree about the Duggars, but I’m under the impression from social media that Joy-Anna and Jill had a falling out when they filed the lawsuit against Jim Bob. JA publicly posted something to the effect of it not being helpful to make private matters public at the time.

Then when Josh’s trial was going on and Austin heard details of JA’s rape that they were previously lied to about, the rumors are that Austin had a confrontation with Jim Bob about his lies and failing to protect his children and yelled at Anna for being delusional because her husband was clearly a sadistic pedophile and she needed to stop blaming everyone else and hold him accountable. After that Jill has occasionally been at their home for parties. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

35 minutes ago, Katy said:

Agreed. She can use an author name as whatever she wants.

The women in my family who didn’t change their last names have found it awkward when they had children to not share the same last name. Only one found it irritating enough to change her name later. 

I hyphenated my last name on marriage and am so annoyed by it that I want to just change it to my married name.  Having to constantly spell out the whole name drives me nuts.

Not that it really has anything to do with the discussion at hand. But I wish I’d just fully changed my last name now.

[Pam in CT]

(total tangent alert!)

I *didn't* change my name and have never had an issue with not "matching" my kids' names. Between second marriages, foster-to-adoptions, and various other forms of blended families, Latin American and Chinese cultural conventions for women's last names, and more... there are TONS of parents whose names didn't "match" their kids' names.  Schools must and do manage, border officials must and do manage, the world manages to stay on its axis.

Where some of my friends HAVE had hiccups is using-one-name-for-some-purposes and using-another-for-different-purposes, so that documentation (like plane reservations or insurance information or other "official" purpose) are under one name but they "go by" another.  I only ever use the one name I was born with so I've never encountered that part.

 

 

[Frances]

4 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I hyphenated my last name on marriage and am so annoyed by it that I want to just change it to my married name.  Having to constantly spell out the whole name drives me nuts.

Not that it really has anything to do with the discussion at hand. But I wish I’d just fully changed my last name now.

Nm

Edited May 31, 2023 by Frances

[Wheres Toto]

I've had a different last name from my mother since I was about 5 years old, way back in the 70's when it was way less common.   I think it mostly involved people who know my name, through school or whatever, calling her Mrs. my last name instead of her last name.   A quick correction and that was that.  

My last name is different than oldest dd because I'm divorced from her dad and remarried to dh.   If I still had my maiden name, I probably wouldn't have changed it when I married dh, but since my last name at that time wasn't "my" last name anyway, changing it was better.    I'm not particularly attached to my maiden name either since I have very little relationship with my father.  

I have a friend who didn't change her name.  One of her kids has her last name with her husband's last name as a middle name, the other has her husband's last name with her last name as a middle name.  

[freesia]

Re:name change. I just added my married name so I have four names. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t changed it. I did it bc I wanted to share my kid’s name. Now I don’t know. But people say they are annoyed by not changing it so… I think with options there is no winning bc you might always wonder should I have… lol. I’m about to move and wonder about starting to use my maiden name in the Hillary Rodham Clinton way. Idk my married name is 10 letters already. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

[SHP]

Re name change

I am just going to be honest here, I am too lazy for that. Go all you who are not this lazy. 

 

 

[Frances]

22 minutes ago, SHP said:

Re name change

I am just going to be honest here, I am too lazy for that. Go all you who are not this lazy. 

 

 

Yes. Not changing my name when I got married saved lots of paperwork during a very busy time in our lives. It was also the main reason we didn’t hyphenate, paperwork x 2! But now I’m very, very glad we didn’t hyphenate for multiple other reasons. But absolutely no regrets about not changing my name. I would absolutely make the same decision again.

[wathe]

3 hours ago, Pam in CT said:

(total tangent alert!)

I *didn't* change my name and have never had an issue with not "matching" my kids' names. Between second marriages, foster-to-adoptions, and various other forms of blended families, Latin American and Chinese cultural conventions for women's last names, and more... there are TONS of parents whose names didn't "match" their kids' names.  Schools must and do manage, border officials must and do manage, the world manages to stay on its axis.

Same.  No issues worth worrying about.  

Pretty much my entire professional peer group have done the same, with no problems.

There is the occasional misunderstanding, but no real problems:  DC's friends sometimes assume and mistakenly call me Mrs Husband'sLastname.  A teacher once assumed I'd turned up for the wrong parent-teachet  interview (but I suspect that was more based on racial mismatch rather than name  mismatch -- maybe both?)  All easily sorted within a few seconds.

[ktgrok]

7 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

Well, between this and the docuseries, I think we can safely say Jill has cut the apron strings. I do feel sad for her. This has to be so damn hard. She was a sister mom to so many kids. If you watched the show, you could see that JimBob ans Michelle were just supremely lazy parents, and made those older girls run the house, cook the meals, take care of all the younger kids. The episode of them leaving for vacation on a bus, and making Jessa, Jana, and Jill pack for the entire family which was, if memory serves, 18 or 19 people at the time, drag heavy luggage out to the bus and load, get all the younger kids out of bed and dressed, plan the meals, pack the food, while the "parents" did nothing was a real eye opener, amonf many others like Jackson lost at the airport and endinf up comforted by his sister mom NOT his parents, Jackson falling into the orchestra pit, being seriously injured, and Michelle laughing and filming it while his sistermom was beside herself worrying about his injuries, Josie having a major seizure beinf tended to by Jana with the production crew calling the ambulance, and JimBob and Michelle calling it a "glitch" and refusing to come home feom their shopping trip, and on and on. If they were willing to be that absent as parents when the cameras were rolling, and not even ashamed of it, how much worse was it when the camera crew was not around? Joy Anna and several others are really Jill's children because birthing a human doesn't actually make you a parent, just an incubator. She will probably lose her relationship with Joy Anna because her husband, Austin Forsyth is still a member of IBLP as are his parents and most of his siblings. She will likely not be allowed communication with the kids still at home.

I celebrate for her, the fact that she is brave enough to blow the whistle on the abuse, neglect, the evil that is IBLP, and the complicity of her parents in all this. Someone needs to do it. But the personal cost will be high. Nothing will change at the Duggar household. 

All this. So much loss for her, to go along with the needed gains. 

[maize]

I'm super happy I changed my name because I like my husband's family name better--it's short and easy 😁 my maiden name was way too long.

Beyond that I have no opinion on the matter--and if I ever write a book I'm likely to choose a random pen name anyway. There is zero requirement that legal names and pen names or even professional names match.

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, wathe said:

DC's friends sometimes assume and mistakenly call me Mrs Husband'sLastname.

Won’t that be correct? I am addressed as Ms/Mdm “my last name” or Mrs “my husband’s last name”

My husband sometimes was called Mr “my last name” when picking up our kids years ago from summer camp, which was weird as our kids have his last name. 
 

The documentary series probably needs a subscription to watch though I have seen snippets on YouTube. I’ll likely read the book when my local libraries have copies.

[wathe]

22 hours ago, Arcadia said:

Won’t that be correct? I am addressed as Ms/Mdm “my last name” or Mrs “my husband’s last name”

My husband sometimes was called Mr “my last name” when picking up our kids years ago from summer camp, which was weird as our kids have his last name. 
 

The documentary series probably needs a subscription to watch though I have seen snippets on YouTube. I’ll likely read the book when my local libraries have copies.

Nah.  That's my MIL's name 🙂

I've never used it; it's no mine.  I use professional honorific plus original (and only) lastname.

[livetoread]

Agreed with all who are glad they didn't change names and haven't encountered any difficulties. I thought I was being brave and was ready for the hassle but there was none. The only societal pushback I've ever gotten was from my wedding planner and I can't think of any bureaucratic hassle. Just in the last few years I was glad again when I went to get my Real ID.

[wisdomandtreasures]

I have been waiting for this since I was pregnant with my oldest child, who turns 14 this year. Already preordered. 

[katilac]

I will definitely read it. If she tells more than Jinger, I might even buy it in support, lol. 

On 5/31/2023 at 9:42 AM, Katy said:

The women in my family who didn’t change their last names have found it awkward when they had children to not share the same last name. 

I've never experienced any awkwardness, and I really can't imagine what situation would make it awkward. 

If someone gets your name wrong, you just correct them. 

On 5/31/2023 at 4:37 PM, Arcadia said:

Won’t that be correct? I am addressed as Ms/Mdm “my last name” or Mrs “my husband’s last name”

My husband sometimes was called Mr “my last name” when picking up our kids years ago from summer camp, which was weird as our kids have his last name. 
 

The documentary series probably needs a subscription to watch though I have seen snippets on YouTube. I’ll likely read the book when my local libraries have copies.

No, because my husband's last name is not part of my name. 

The documentary will be on Amazon Prime Video, so free with Prime. Looks like the first three episodes will be available on FreeVee with ads, but not the fourth and final one. 

On 5/31/2023 at 8:27 AM, Annie G said:

I wouldn’t think JB would be happy about the book and series. 

Josh has already ruined the brand, and JB might be going, yep, that's a good money-making opportunity. 

I don't think he would be personally hurt about it, because he's not that invested in most of his kids as actual people. 

[maize]

On 5/31/2023 at 3:37 PM, Arcadia said:

Won’t that be correct? I am addressed as Ms/Mdm “my last name” or Mrs “my husband’s last name”

You might be correct according to older etiquette protocols, which may still be in use in some parts of the world.

It was common in past generations for a woman to be "Mrs. John Doe" so "Mrs. Doe" could be a short form of that; that's very rarely used in the US these days. Women who take their husband's last name could be either Mrs. Jane Doe or Ms. Jane Doe; a woman who didn't take her husband's name would be Ms. Smith.

But outside of super formal contexts etiquette is pretty lax and people can get called or choose to be called many different ways.

[Annie G]

12 minutes ago, katilac said:

Josh has already ruined the brand, and JB might be going, yep, that's a good money-making opportunity. 

I don't think he would be personally hurt about it, because he's not that invested in most of his kids as actual people. 

It’s not likely to make him any money though.  I absolutely agree that he isn’t invested in his kids as individuals.

[katilac]

12 minutes ago, Annie G said:

It’s not likely to make him any money though.   

No, I just meant that he could understand the monetary reasons for doing it. 

And not truly personal for him, more like adversarial lawyers who leave the animosity in the courtroom.