Games and other things to do with a loved one with dementia

[MercyA]

My grandma is in a nursing home and understandably not happy about it. She keeps saying she wants to go home and crying. 😞 She is not able to safely be at home without 24/7 care, as she has dementia. I'm super thankful that she's at a nice, small, clean, cheerful facility. 

She is quite lucid sometimes. She remembers the distant past fairly well, including people and places. However, she doesn't remember people who came to visit her the day before, or what happened to her family pictures (she packed them in a bag in her closet, because she wants to take them home). And she will ask me, for example, if I've graduated from college three times in the same visit. (On the bright side, she does know who I am, and also asks if DD has graduated from high school yet.)

She has always been shy and never been open about her childhood or anything personal. She has been a good and generous grandparent but I've never been close to her. It's a bit difficult for us to make conversation, although I do the best I can. 

Does anyone have an idea of some simple but not too childish games I could play with her? Any other activities we could do together? Bonus if they don't require a ton of talking. She is in her 90's and won't wear a hearing aid, so she can only hear me when I practically shout. Any reading would need to be simple and large print. She does play bingo. She can do word searches but not crossword puzzles, just to give you an idea of where she is cognitively.

Thank you, thank you.

Edited May 5, 2023 by MercyA

[Drama Llama]

One thing that has been successful for my similar relative has been looking at catalogs and helping me choose things.

Even if I don't buy them all, she'll sit with me and look at Mini Boden and help me pick which shirts to give my little nephew, or I'll ask her opinion on presents for Pop, or what flowers to send my own mom. 

[Harriet Vane]

Been there, done that many times. I’m sorry it’s so painful.

You already know this, but answer the questions each time as though it’s the first time.

I usually go in with a list of things to talk about. Stuff like what I bought at the grocery store or what activities my kids are doing.

I used to write my aunt a note in a special notebook before I left a visit. She treasured that notebook. Just simple things like: “Hi Lisa! It was great to visit you today. We hung up some shirts and we visited the birdcage downstairs. The kids are doing great…” and so on. Sometimes 3 sentences, sometimes ten depending on the time and how inspired I felt.

Some activities:

Matching socks

Folding laundry (a bag or basket of socks or cloth washcloths)

Sorting clothes, rearranging a closet (while actually putting everything back exactly the way it was)

Coloring or watercoloring super-simple line drawings

Decorating with stickers, like placing floral stickers on a construction paper heart

War (the card game)

Sorting beads or buttons or even candies

[Bootsie]

Can she work jigsaw puzzles?

My mom suffers from hearing loss but can watch shows (especially favorite old movies) with closed caption or with "TV ears"--these looks somewhat like a stethescope rather than headphones and seem to be tolerated or accepted better than a hearing aid.

Are there any card games she can play?  I know people who suffer from memory loss but can still play bridge.  But if she doesn't have any favorite games from her past, would she be able to do something simple card games or dominoes.  Or, perhaps a child's matching game?  

Is there anything you need sorted--e.g., put pencils in one box and pens in another?  Simple craft projects?  Making a photo album?

 

[saraha]

Before my mil stopped being able to interact she liked to “play” connect four and checkers. She didn’t really go by the actual rules, but enjoyed moving the checkers around and “winning”

She would also help me stuff envelopes. I made a bunch of flyers for their church and we would stuff envelopes. Then I would take them away and then next time she would help me stuff the same envelopes 

Edited May 5, 2023 by saraha

[Drama Llama]

I have a deck of the game "UNO All Wild" at work.  It's basically UNO but all the cards are wild so you can put down any card in your hand.  There are no wrong cards.  It's a strategy game, in that the cards have other directions like to change directions, or skip the next person, but if someone isn't using strategy at all and picking at random, it's fine.  

I haven't tried that with my loved one with dementia, but maybe I will.  

 

 

[Katy]

Put together a photo album or simple scrapbook for her to look at with you. Bring it out of the bag in the closet and point to pictures. You might be surprised how many stories you've never heard come out. You can also put pictures in the album that answer her questions (IE: include the one of you & her at your graduation, or your DD's achievements). Consider writing captions that answer the questions (Jean's granddaughter Lauren at her high school graduation in June 2022). This way even if a CNA or activity person who doesn't know the family has time to spend with her they can look at them together.

Also bring or use any sensory things that will make her more comfortable. A fuzzy blanket or fuzzy non-slip socks, a long microwavable heating pad filled with rice and wrapped around her neck if she's always cold. A few pieces of her favorite candy. A minky lap quilt.

[gardenmom5]

What were some games she played when she was young?   those may be more familiar with her, even on "bad" days.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

My mum with early dementia loves revisiting old photos, especially of her travels.

An atlas spurred really nice conversation recently.

Another thing my mum loves are wild birds. So looking at a bird book is nice.

So, really, identify any current or old interests and then bring a book of photos to discuss.

You are very kind to visit your grandmother ❤️

[MercyA]

7 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

What were some games she played when she was young?   those may be more familiar with her, even on "bad" days.

I will ask!

She had a very rough childhood with an alcoholic father. I do know that she never had a doll (until my parents bought her one in her adulthood). She was given a violin at one point but her parents sold it. 😞 That is just about all I know about her life when she was young. I don't think she likes to talk about that part of her life but I'm sure she wouldn't mind me asking about games. 

Thank you all for the wonderful ideas! They are so very helpful!

[MercyA]

9 hours ago, Bootsie said:

Can she work jigsaw puzzles?

I'm not sure, but I'd like to try this. I enjoy puzzles myself. I'll start with something simple. 

I think I'm going to take a couple activities each time I visit so I can learn her preferences.

[City Mouse]

This site has simple puzzles with larger pieces but adult artwork https://relish-life.com/us/jigsaw-puzzles?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=12123738361&utm_content=122235296331&utm_term=puzzles dementia&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0tKiBhC6ARIsAAOXutk8qVLLIvcrpRqUTE8STKNsQpbPs60_E8W4tuNkTVPfIEWy1GeuJBgaAhXpEALw_wcB

[BeachGal]

Make a playlist of the popular music from her youth, her teens and 20s, and see if she would like to listen to it while you are with her doing other activities. Ideally, you’d want to find artists and songs that she liked when she was young. If she is okay with listening to it, keep track of the ones that she likes and then use those to make another playlist. Music has an affect on memory but it needs to be music that is meaningful to the individual.

https://www.brainandlife.org/articles/how-music-affects-memory-in-dementia/

Because she’s hearing impaired, maybe she could wear headphones while listening.

Edited May 5, 2023 by BeachGal

[MercyA]

1 hour ago, City Mouse said:

This site has simple puzzles with larger pieces but adult artwork https://relish-life.com/us/jigsaw-puzzles?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=12123738361&utm_content=122235296331&utm_term=puzzles dementia&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0tKiBhC6ARIsAAOXutk8qVLLIvcrpRqUTE8STKNsQpbPs60_E8W4tuNkTVPfIEWy1GeuJBgaAhXpEALw_wcB

Love these so much! I was intrigued so I looked for more similar ones on eBay and Amazon. Springbok also makes a line of 36-piece puzzles with adult artwork. 

ETA: Bits and Pieces also makes 50-piece senior puzzles.

Edited May 5, 2023 by MercyA

[ScoutTN]

Simple card games like go fish? 

[skimomma]

My person likes to look at family photos and videos.  I bring my laptop and play video clips of her grandchildren or even funny reels.  The handy part is I can show the same one over multiple visits and they get the same level of joy each time.  

Sorting things is always a hit.  I have a large jar of coins that I sometimes bring so they can help me sort them by coin type.   

[gardenmom5]

2 hours ago, MercyA said:

I will ask!

She had a very rough childhood with an alcoholic father. I do know that she never had a doll (until my parents bought her one in her adulthood). She was given a violin at one point but her parents sold it. 😞 That is just about all I know about her life when she was young. I don't think she likes to talk about that part of her life but I'm sure she wouldn't mind me asking about games. 

Thank you all for the wonderful ideas! They are so very helpful!

I don't know what type of dementia she has, and that will have a part in what she can do.

An acquaintance's mother never spoke about her childhood. They knew nothing. She developed alzheimer's, and that's all she could remember. They started asking her lots of questions. She remembered her dresses, and would describe them in great detail, as though she had it in her hands or had worn in the previous day.

[NorthwestMom]

Bingo can be a good game and no strategy is required.

[MercyA]

Your ideas are all wonderful! ❤️

[J-rap]

I gave my mother some simple board jigsaw puzzles which she enjoyed for awhile.  Sometimes, my dad and I will take out dominos to use with her.  My mother doesn't remember how to play any official game with them, but she likes lining them up.  Perhaps your grandmother could do more than that, like matching numbers end to end, or even play an actual game with them.

I recently ordered this paint book for my mother.  We haven't tried them yet.  She used to be an artist and I thought she might enjoy picking up a brush, dipping it into water, brushing it on paper and watch the colors appear.  We'll see!  That might be too simple for your grandmother though.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1474970818?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details

Last year, we got my mother this paint option which she seems to enjoy.  You just dip the brush into water and paint a design on the canvas.  It stays there for several minutes, then disappears, so you can do it over and over again.

https://www.amazon.com/Mini-Buddha-Board-5-inch-Green/dp/B0096E2SCO/ref=asc_df_B0096E2SCO/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167144863606&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8222608493370326601&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9019535&hvtargid=pla-378945718477&th=1

 

 

 

[Hilltopmom]

There are some nice bingo sets that have ocean animals, birds or other animals to find and cover. Something different than regular bingo and they don’t look childish.

like this:

Bird Bingo Board Game https://a.co/d/h3xRGLo
 

Maybe search and find pictures? Not where’s Waldo but the ones like that. Could look for the pictures together. 

Or
Spot It?

picture dominoes

not sure about her fine motor skills:

Chunky stringing beads

Melissa & Doug Primary Lacing Beads - Educational Toy With 30 Wooden Beads and 2 Laces - Beads For Toddlers, Fine Motor Skills Lacing Toys For Toddlers And Kids Ages 3+ https://a.co/d/f5VEpyh

this flower building set is fun

Flower Garden Building Toys for Girls Age 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 , Pretend Play Gardening Gift for Kids, Stacking Game for Toddlers, STEM Educational Activity for Preschool https://a.co/d/4ZfbIOw

 

Edited May 5, 2023 by Hilltopmom

[Beth S]

We bought a stuffed schnauzer puppy for my MIL to cuddle (from Amazon)
    It was the breed of dog they had when my dh was growing up.
I also made a "Fidget Quilt" for her---fabric with unusual textures, sequins, buttons, zippers.
   I just used notions I had, & added a few things.  Example:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1411298487/dementia-fidget-toy-activity-mat-for?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_a-toys_and_games-toys-other&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQjw0tKiBhC6ARIsAAOXutnyy1DlMNejBlJGwuu_unBEPEXoBgsIusEOETMfwetgTBOLbjeoUr4aAqA9EALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_1844702853_71423545842_346398441550_aud-1118323511478:pla-314535280500_c__1411298487_12768591&utm_custom2=1844702853&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0tKiBhC6ARIsAAOXutnyy1DlMNejBlJGwuu_unBEPEXoBgsIusEOETMfwetgTBOLbjeoUr4aAqA9EALw_wcB

Edited May 5, 2023 by Beth S

[EKS]

My grandmother with dementia was weirdly good at Trivial Pursuit.  Of course if she knew the answer she would just answer regardless of whose turn it was!

Edited May 6, 2023 by EKS

[KidsHappen]

When I first had my neurological collapse and I was in rehab I had both cognitive and physical problems. Some of the things I did were the larger piece jigsaw puzzles, connect four, adult color by number books, larger size jenga, kids' level memory card game, hook rugs, kids level puzzle and crossword books. They also had me do things like pick up coins and put them in a bank, button up clothes, balance different weights on scales. I also had a basket full of fidget toys including various strength puttys. I think the picture albums are a great idea as well. I was able to stream shows on my computer and then my family would ask me questions about what I watched and I could still read. If you can get her hearing aids she might be able to watch shows and talk about them and maybe someone could read to her if she can't read herself anymore. Wedgits are also a good idea or those boards where you put various shapes to make pictures. Simple kids games and arts and craft kits might work as well.