maize Posted June 18, 2023 Share Posted June 18, 2023 You are wise to not allow your ex to be any more involved in your life than necessary. I'd be super wary of a credit card cash advance, interest starts accruing as soon as the funds are disbursed and interest is usually high. If you have a bit if time, you might consider looking for a new credit card with a zero interest deal on new purchases for a set time (often a year). The no interest thing doesn't usually apply to cash advances, but you might be able to put your regular expenses (groceries etc.) on the no interest card and save up the money that would have gone to those expenses for moving costs. It sounds a bit complicated but it's a round-about way to get a short-term no-interest loan. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wasn't super responsible with money because when the introductory interest-free period ends you are right back to credit-card interest rates. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 18, 2023 Author Share Posted June 18, 2023 1 minute ago, maize said: You are wise to not allow your ex to be any more involved in your life than necessary. I'd be super wary of a credit card cash advance, interest starts accruing as soon as the funds are disbursed and interest is usually high. If you have a bit if time, you might consider looking for a new credit card with a zero interest deal on new purchases for a set time (often a year). The no interest thing doesn't usually apply to cash advances, but you might be able to put your regular expenses (groceries etc.) on the no interest card and save up the money that would have gone to those expenses for moving costs. It sounds a bit complicated but it's a round-about way to get a short-term no-interest loan. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wasn't super responsible with money because when the introductory interest-free period ends you are right back to credit-card interest rates. No matter what, interest starts immediately on both types of borrowing. We ballpark I’d need ~$3000 to cover first month’s rent, deposit, pet fee & moving expenses. I haven’t calculated actual moving fees yet. There are several problems. I don’t know when I’ll land new job. I don’t know where I’ll be able to move (what’s available when I absolutely must vacate my current home). I cannot/will not live with my dad for months if I can avoid that. I’d have to find a home for my cat. No pets allowed here. Xh offered to keep her temporarily- no way. He’s the one that turned the dryer on when she was in it once. Wouldn’t consistently deal with litter box when I was pregnant. Made his new wife rehome her cat because their current landlord won’t allow more than one pet long-term. No no no. Side note - this begs the question when exactly did he secure this home because she never brought her cat to MS!! I know the college doesn’t care if you have mult. pets. Fishy… I’m a little upset with myself I let them run my credit. That credit check is valid 45 days. I have til Aug 1 to move forward with the personal loan. If not, I will need another solution or run a new credit check later to start over. my current card earns rewards. I’ve been putting most purchases on it for the rewards as I usually pay it off in full. Well my auto drafts are all set to that card. I earned $100 in rewards this week and requested that to go to checking (probably won’t show up til after the Juneteenth holiday). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 18, 2023 Author Share Posted June 18, 2023 I mean this week I was able to cash out… but it does take time to earn rewards. 2500=$50 rewards. Most places are 1 point per dollar. I signed up for Murphy gas rewards. Probably won’t help much, but new members got points and I was given 10¢ off each gallon up to 20 gal last night when I filled my tank. I stop at 2 different Murphys on my road trips when possible/applicable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 26, 2023 Author Share Posted June 26, 2023 Not much to report. I got rejection email from casino job. Hoping something else comes through this summer. When we got to my house last night it was storming again and powers flickered/we briefly lost wifi but we were ok. Others I know in semi-close cities lost power. Priced a bunch of moving options. I really don’t want to have to drive a large UHaul myself. POD option is not gonna work for me. I will recruit someone to help if possible. One of us drive uhaul, one drive my car vs towing car. I babysat yesterday. Still making payments to IRS. I asked to meet xh in another city yesterday so I could do silly photo shoot/show kids around this unique place. They have very limited hours so I’ve never been. They recreate movie sets periodically. They redo famous props. I got a pic of kids in front of fake National Lampoon’s station wagon. I’ve only seen Christmas vacation - the green one is from the summer vacation version. So if it’s appropriate maybe we can rent movie later. I’m a huge Schitt’s Creek fan. I got some pics in there. Turns out the monthly income from ds’ YouTube averages like $20. I had all these ideas for a series of my own but motivation isn’t too high. I’ll let you guys know if I roll out a new series of videos. I am feeling optimistic about my future with my kids. Side note xh is essentially trying to see if ds can handle a job so ds has been volunteering several hours at a time shelving books. I asked him if it was volunteering or if he was “voluntold” lol he didn’t exactly answer. He said dad said he’ll give him permission to apply to real job at 16 and dad will get him a car (interesting… I will see what happens but sounds like typical carrot dangling to me). I didn’t say much. I know I can’t be on the hook for the car per our legal agreement. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 30, 2023 Author Share Posted June 30, 2023 I'm moving this month (at least, into my dad's). I'm super stressed. There's so much to tell but I can't post it all publicly. Wish me luck on my job interview Monday, please. I'm also meeting with a financial advisor (free) on Monday. I did double check with another employee about the cc advance interest rate. They said it is the same regardless of purchase. And since it changes in July I asked if they knew the new rate. She said the min. is 8.25% (up from 8). But it can be different based on your credit score or something. I have a boyfriend of a couple months (no lectures, lol) and he's going to see if the cat will adjust to his place temporarily. If you aren't a brand new user and you want details just DM me. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 30, 2023 Share Posted June 30, 2023 What job are you interviewing for on Monday? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 30, 2023 Author Share Posted June 30, 2023 Just now, maize said: What job are you interviewing for on Monday? It's called Office Coordinator. There's no pay listed on the job, but google results make it look like decent pay for that role at that company. One town over from the kids. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 30, 2023 Author Share Posted June 30, 2023 My days are mixed up. By "this month" I meant I'm moving in July, not June. Oops. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted June 30, 2023 Share Posted June 30, 2023 54 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: My days are mixed up. By "this month" I meant I'm moving in July, not June. Oops. I think anyone who has ever moved understands. It’s the worst. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 30, 2023 Share Posted June 30, 2023 2 hours ago, heartlikealion said: It's called Office Coordinator. There's no pay listed on the job, but google results make it look like decent pay for that role at that company. One town over from the kids. I've got my fingers crossed for you! I'm sure you would be good at that! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 30, 2023 Author Share Posted June 30, 2023 I stand corrected on step mom’s cat. They did have her in MS for a bit but rehomed her when they moved to their current home because landlord said only one pet. When xh met her she had 2 dogs and 1 cat. Now she’s down to one dog. I would have ditched the man before the pets lol 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 30, 2023 Author Share Posted June 30, 2023 @maize I think your inbox is full? I can't send anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted June 30, 2023 Share Posted June 30, 2023 I love the Schitt's Creek photo of you! Dh and I were just talking about that episode with the sign!! Sending some good luck vibes for your interview. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 30, 2023 Share Posted June 30, 2023 1 hour ago, heartlikealion said: @maize I think your inbox is full? I can't send anything. Try again, I just deleted some messages 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted June 30, 2023 Author Share Posted June 30, 2023 I told you I might do this, but I don't know if I will continue... even for this little video it was time consuming! I would be IN the video, but I look like a mess and I just wanted to get it done LOL 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted June 30, 2023 Share Posted June 30, 2023 2 hours ago, heartlikealion said: I stand corrected on step mom’s cat. They did have her in MS for a bit but rehomed her when they moved to their current home because landlord said only one pet. When xh met her she had 2 dogs and 1 cat. Now she’s down to one dog. I would have ditched the man before the pets lol Heart, I would not give up a pet rock for your ex! 😁 You are doing great. Keep your chin up! 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 1, 2023 Share Posted July 1, 2023 18 hours ago, heartlikealion said: I'm moving this month (at least, into my dad's). I'm super stressed. There's so much to tell but I can't post it all publicly. Wish me luck on my job interview Monday, please. I'm also meeting with a financial advisor (free) on Monday. I did double check with another employee about the cc advance interest rate. They said it is the same regardless of purchase. And since it changes in July I asked if they knew the new rate. She said the min. is 8.25% (up from 8). But it can be different based on your credit score or something. I have a boyfriend of a couple months (no lectures, lol) and he's going to see if the cat will adjust to his place temporarily. If you aren't a brand new user and you want details just DM me. You have my email mail. Catch me up if you have time. Or DM. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 2, 2023 Author Share Posted July 2, 2023 16 hours ago, Scarlett said: You have my email mail. Catch me up if you have time. Or DM. I emailed you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 2, 2023 Share Posted July 2, 2023 1 hour ago, heartlikealion said: I emailed you. I did read it. I was so busy all day. Sounds like you have a good plan. Crazy times girl! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 2, 2023 Author Share Posted July 2, 2023 The podiatrist’s office has my orthotics but I can’t pick them up til they hear back from insurance. And the podiatrist office is going to be closed the whole week of July 4th so the soonest I will get them is July 10 or so. I did a recorded interview last night for Varsity Tutors. What a disaster lol on the final recorded question they say you have 15 min to prepare a lesson and then 10 min to record yourself teaching it. Googled and they don’t provide lesson plans. Sounds like a lot of work. Google had varying results for pay so I don’t know what they pay. I reserved 2 storage units. Didn’t make it to town in time for the first so canceled it. The second told me they don’t prorate (good thing I moved in on the first) and the lock I own only works on their climate-controlled units so they discounted my rent to offset the price of new lock as a courtesy. They actually discounted the rent a bit more than the lock fee. I joked with ds I’ll own every type of lock. I was told I’d need insurance. She asked if I current had renter’s ins. Once I provided my current renter’s ins info she said I won’t need to buy theirs (which is $12/month minimum). I get the kids July 7-16 so I might just stay in town all week. Ds, my dad, and I are all going bowling today. Dd doesn’t want to go and will stay home with my aunt. My gf is moving out of her place and putting it up for sale this month. She’s moving in with her bf. Good thing I didn’t move in with her. I left a bunch of stuff there so I’m going by today to get it out (food, extra toiletries, blanket). A couple weeks ago they rescheduled my intake interview for the construction class. They will tell us end of Aug if we are accepted into the Sept class. I will most likely have a new job before then. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 4, 2023 Author Share Posted July 4, 2023 It wasn’t really an interview. It was more like another bait & switch. They are a staffing agency and said they might just list “office coordinator” as a catch all for any clients they work with that have similar positions. I filled out all this paperwork on their computer… basically says I’d be the employee of the agency and not entitled to client benefits unless at some point the client asks to hire me directly. They will let me know later this week if they see any job matches. I told them availability, salary minimum etc. I went in person to follow up with a few places. One said they never received my application but would have hired me on the spot… when I asked base pay he said it’s not much $13-14/hr. I would have to work 2 jobs at that rate. Another place has decent salary but says no benefits til you’ve worked there a year. One place was a wild goose chase. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. Apparently they don’t really communicate and have 2 buildings but one is off limits to the public. They literally cannot tell me if the position has been filled and just say, “your application remains on file 30 days. Why don’t you reapply?” I said it was a snail mail only application (specifically said mail us a hard copy of resume) and I mailed it weeks ago. She said best I can do is hand you this paper application and tell you to drop it off here and I’ll try to show to the owner when they are here. Ok ummm if the owner comes in a few days a week (her words) why didn’t you just freakin ask them if they filled the position since I called about it like 3x. some people are ridiculously unhelpful 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted July 4, 2023 Share Posted July 4, 2023 I'm sorry for the frustrations. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 I had a phone screening for a casino job. My fears were dead on. I wouldn’t be able to justify the hours. They wanted me to work 3-11pm and my days off would be Wed/Thurs. Not child-friendly hours. I’d never have weekends off. I told them I couldn’t do those hours and we didn’t move forward. A family friend is loaning me their trailer. I’ll load as much as possible this week (washer/dryer, couch, maybe dining room table etc). This should avoid a uhaul rental. I blew up at my dad last night because I’m immature and impulsive. I said it’s ridiculous he thinks running the a/c will hurt the car by sitting in the parking lot parked and I’m gonna have to move out in like a week or 2 because I will die in a house kept at 79 degrees. To which he said he was “freezing.” My aunt and I were sitting in the car because we didn’t feel like going into Lowe’s. He rolled down the window and tonk the keys. I felt like a dog and I wouldn’t even leave the dog out there like that. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 It sounds like your dad is used to older vehicles -- which truly did have problems running the air conditioner while idling. https://www.autocornerd.com/leaving-ac-on-while-car-is-parked-and-engine-is-running/ Was it his car? If so, I don't think he was out of line to prioritize his perception that it could be damaged, vs his desire to be hospitable to the people he was running errands with. He seems to be wrong about the potential for damage, but his *belief* about the damage was not ridiculous, just out of date, and it came from an honest place. He also sounds 'old school' but not absurd about the home air conditioning. 79 is warm for the indoors of an air conditioned house -- but it's not painfully hot. 79, outside, is not even that summery. If he thinks the function of home air conditioning is to reduce the heat of summer to "not horrible, just summery" 79 is a really good temperature to choose. You won't die. You'll just sweat more, move less, wear skimpy clothes, and drink lots of cold water -- just like people have been doing in summer time for centuries. My parents are like that too. They've just gotten air conditioning, and they don't use it unless the outdoor temp is absolutely roasting -- and then they only use it to reduce the indoor temperature to 'bearable'. (They wouldn't call it 'freezing' though! So maybe see what your dad actually does when he's keeping it at 79 all day and noticing that it's not actually that cool.) This is not to say that you should keep living with him. Obviously his 'old school' beliefs and practices are very challenging for you to live with. And that's totally understandable. There's a reason most of us don't choose to live in 'old school' ways. And unfortunately, since it's all under his control, you get to 'like it or lump it' when he decides his choices sufficient for himself even if they are not sufficient for you. Do you have any options for not roasting? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 10 minutes ago, bolt. said: It sounds like your dad is used to older vehicles -- which truly did have problems running the air conditioner while idling. https://www.autocornerd.com/leaving-ac-on-while-car-is-parked-and-engine-is-running/ Was it his car? If so, I don't think he was out of line to prioritize his perception that it could be damaged, vs his desire to be hospitable to the people he was running errands with. He seems to be wrong about the potential for damage, but his *belief* about the damage was not ridiculous, just out of date, and it came from an honest place. He also sounds 'old school' but not absurd about the home air conditioning. 79 is warm for the indoors of an air conditioned house -- but it's not painfully hot. 79, outside, is not even that summery. If he thinks the function of home air conditioning is to reduce the heat of summer to "not horrible, just summery" 79 is a really good temperature to choose. You won't die. You'll just sweat more, move less, wear skimpy clothes, and drink lots of cold water -- just like people have been doing in summer time for centuries. My parents are like that too. They've just gotten air conditioning, and they don't use it unless the outdoor temp is absolutely roasting -- and then they only use it to reduce the indoor temperature to 'bearable'. (They wouldn't call it 'freezing' though! So maybe see what your dad actually does when he's keeping it at 79 all day and noticing that it's not actually that cool.) This is not to say that you should keep living with him. Obviously his 'old school' beliefs and practices are very challenging for you to live with. And that's totally understandable. There's a reason most of us don't choose to live in 'old school' ways. And unfortunately, since it's all under his control, you get to 'like it or lump it' when he decides his choices sufficient for himself even if they are not sufficient for you. Do you have any options for not roasting? I skimmed the link — I don’t see a year listed to define old vs modern. His car is only 2 years older than mine. Mine is 2010 and I’ve had to sit in car pick up lines where you aren’t moving immediately. Yes, it was his car because only his car can attach the trailer and we carpooled to the friends’ home for a 4th of July meal. This is humid Mississippi. No one I know can tolerate their house at 79. I am fine some parts of day, but others it’s really uncomfortable here. I do own shorts and T-shirt’s but “skimpy” is not a look I’d advise to anyone staying with their dad lol I just need out. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. My mental health is constantly affected when I come here. I can only job hunt. I have no friend to stay with… and that doesn’t work with the kids, anyway. I have court soon, my lawyer is on vacation. I’m under an immense amount of stress. 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 Honestly, living in Texas, we keep our house at 78 most of the time. It's just too expensive to run it more and we're fine at 78. When I was growing up (in Houston) we did not run AC at all most of the time -- too expensive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 Ok, ladies. Thanks for your feedback. I am officially enrolled with one staffing agency and started the process with 2 others. One fell off the face of the earth. The other I need to return on Friday for an appt but they showed me what they currently have and the only one above $16/hr is paralegal ($16-18/hr). So basically I will need 2 jobs or work weekends which defeats the purpose of living close to the kids sorta… Im just very frustrated. I can’t get my insoles yet but even if I had them I’m not sure I could stand on my feet to work nights at Target etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 It's such a harsh set of things that is happening for you. I do feel for you a lot. To clarify about the car, I was thinking even though the car itself probably wouldn't have been damaged (very few currently-running cars are actually old enough to have the problem) your dad maybe honestly thought so, because he 'learned that it's bad to do that' a long time ago, and never learned that it wasn't true any more. For all we know he learned it when he was a teenager, and his dad told him. That's how old wives' tales work. But people believe them. And people are entitled to manage their belongings according to their own beliefs, regardless of whether those beliefs are accurate or not. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 3 hours ago, heartlikealion said: I had a phone screening for a casino job. My fears were dead on. I wouldn’t be able to justify the hours. They wanted me to work 3-11pm and my days off would be Wed/Thurs. Not child-friendly hours. I’d never have weekends off. I told them I couldn’t do those hours and we didn’t move forward. A family friend is loaning me their trailer. I’ll load as much as possible this week (washer/dryer, couch, maybe dining room table etc). This should avoid a uhaul rental. I blew up at my dad last night because I’m immature and impulsive. I said it’s ridiculous he thinks running the a/c will hurt the car by sitting in the parking lot parked and I’m gonna have to move out in like a week or 2 because I will die in a house kept at 79 degrees. To which he said he was “freezing.” My aunt and I were sitting in the car because we didn’t feel like going into Lowe’s. He rolled down the window and tonk the keys. I felt like a dog and I wouldn’t even leave the dog out there like that. It's so hard to be patient with other people's foibles when it's so stupidly hot and things just seem to be one struggle after the next. I'm sorry things are so hard. I think it would be hard for anyone to stay positive and kind and patient in your circumstances. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 Just now, bolt. said: It's such a harsh set of things that is happening for you. I do feel for you a lot. To clarify about the car, I was thinking even though the car itself probably wouldn't have been damaged (very few currently-running cars are actually old enough to have the problem) your dad maybe honestly thought so, because he 'learned that it's bad to do that' a long time ago, and never learned that it wasn't true any more. For all we know he learned it when he was a teenager, and his dad told him. That's how old wives' tales work. But people believe them. And people are entitled to manage their belongings according to their own beliefs, regardless of whether those beliefs are accurate or not. I think that’s true… and I tried to explain last time that a min with the car door ajar wouldn’t kill the battery. But what so I know…. I’m a dumb girl not a man that works on cars (this is how I feel around my dad — like it doesn’t matter coming from me). I have to micromanage all my actions or be sniped at and it puts me in fight or flight mode. I did flight before and my gf got fleas at her house and then decided to move in with her bf so I lost that option. I have no where to go. I was baking off chicken (he agreed to pay if it was the right healthy food… you know his standards are so high I’d starve at most grocery stores because of lack of options or them being only sporadically stocked… so I lucky they had organic chicken). I checked on it when the timer went off but it needed a few more min and he didn’t want me to leave the kitchen light on if I was leaving the room. Like good grief. I get that some people are anal about that stuff. But it stresses me the eff out. So he turned off the kitchen light and I tripped on his pickleball bag coming back to the kitchen from my room a few min later lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Idalou Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 (edited) I know that 78 or 79 indoor temps would be a living hell for me, Heart, if I lived in the South. Maybe if the heat index was 100 outside and then I walked indoors to 78 I'd feel cooler for a few minutes before becoming miserable, lol. And 78 in a humid environment? No way. We don't have central air at our home, just a portable unit, but I turn it on once outside temps start going past 70 and try to keep the house at 68. It's never very humid here, so that helps immensely. I do think that there are types of older homes that were built for better cross air patterns. I've been in old houses where all the windows were raised and the breeze made things bearable. Edited July 5, 2023 by Idalou 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 I am glad that he values saving energy. I would definitely ask my adult children to not leave a room with lights on and I expect they will always roll eyes at me for it. I also wouldn’t leave a car idle. Our car actually turns off at stop lights to reduce emissions. I doubt it is enough to actually save much money but if everyone could just do a little we could have cleaner air. It must be hard to have to adjust to living with him again, and parent relationships can also feel tricky at times. I hope new options will come soon. Hang in there. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 16 minutes ago, Acorn said: I am glad that he values saving energy. I would definitely ask my adult children to not leave a room with lights on and I expect they will always roll eyes at me for it. I also wouldn’t leave a car idle. Our car actually turns off at stop lights to reduce emissions. I doubt it is enough to actually save much money but if everyone could just do a little we could have cleaner air. It must be hard to have to adjust to living with him again, and parent relationships can also feel tricky at times. I hope new options will come soon. Hang in there. Well it was dark/night time. So I wanted to leave the light on and just pop back in in a few min. I personally don’t ever turn off all the lights to the kitchen when something is in the oven. It says to me “don’t forget the oven is on!” I have had timers mess up, not be loud enough etc or get distracted and it helps me. the way his light switches are laid out it was hard to leave a lit path without lighting up the hallway and foyer and my aunt was in bed so I didn’t want to brighten up the house. If that’s makes sense. there's usually a method to my madness but it’s exhausting to explain and insteady family just assumes I’m a careless energy hog. Like seriously 3 min leaving the light on bs turning it off and back in. I think some say it uses more power to turn off and on again. —— this thread just confirms I’ll never follow suit with his rules/methods so maybe give up on the 2 bedroom apartment (to accommodate the kids) and just look for a 1 bed. Ds can’t sleep over if xh makes a big deal about the legal bedrooms required. Im running out of options. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 3 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: this thread just confirms I’ll never follow suit with his rules/methods so maybe give up on the 2 bedroom apartment (to accommodate the kids) and just look for a 1 bed. Ds can’t sleep over if xh makes a big deal about the legal bedrooms required. Im running out of options. And you know, as crappy as it is to move multiple times, you really just need a landing place for the time being. So...get what you can get and if you have to move in the future when your luck is better, so be it. Honestly, your dh started all this mess by picking up and moving out of the blue. If he askes or fusses about the bedroom situation, just say that it's temporary until you can find an affordable 2 bedroom place. He doesn't have to know anything more than that, like how long the lease is or whatever. Besides, I hate for you to pay more for an apartment when your ds may or may not stay there. Perhaps if you have a 1 bedroom for awhile, you can get a feel for how much your ds wants to stay over and whether or not it is worth the expense and hassle to have the extra space. 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 I went to the gym and took my aggression out on the rowing machine, treadmill and weight machine. Feeling better 🤣 I’m going to shower then visit a business I need to follow up with. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 3 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: I went to the gym and took my aggression out on the rowing machine, treadmill and weight machine. Feeling better 🤣 I’m going to shower then visit a business I need to follow up with. I know you have feet problem, which I do as well, and if you haven't used a recumbent bike I suggest giving it a try. It has changed my workouts greatly because it never gives me an issue with my feet the way the treadmill can if I'm trying to get my heart rate ul 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 25 minutes ago, hjffkj said: I know you have feet problem, which I do as well, and if you haven't used a recumbent bike I suggest giving it a try. It has changed my workouts greatly because it never gives me an issue with my feet the way the treadmill can if I'm trying to get my heart rate ul I bike all the time. I own an upright and use one at the gym. I just limit the treadmill time. I don’t like the recumbent but I like upright. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 1 hour ago, Acorn said: I am glad that he values saving energy. I would definitely ask my adult children to not leave a room with lights on and I expect they will always roll eyes at me for it. I also wouldn’t leave a car idle. Our car actually turns off at stop lights to reduce emissions. I doubt it is enough to actually save much money but if everyone could just do a little we could have cleaner air. It must be hard to have to adjust to living with him again, and parent relationships can also feel tricky at times. I hope new options will come soon. Hang in there. In her defense, she is in an area that has heat advisories and "wet bulb temps" that are considered potentially fatal. So sitting in the car with car off and no AC is actually dangerous if you are in it more than a minute or two. So it's either go inside, or sit with the air running. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 I would lose my mind if I had to tolerate AC at 79 in MS heat. I live in OK which is only slightly better and we tolerate 74 to sleep but I turn it down to 72 to do any cooking or housework. Yes, it is his house but man, y’all have some compassion for Heart. She is in a tough spot! 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 I looked up one bedrooms in several cities. I found one for $750 which isn’t much better than the 2BD townhouse for $800. I drove to the complex and it was horrible in person. Like they staged the website great because this place looked like a dump. Dudes outside, car on a jack with a broken windshield, bunch of items in the yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 I’m sorry things are so hard. I would really suffer if we kept our house at 79 when it’s humid. I can handle dry heat (🙄I know that sounds trite), but the humidity makes me wilt. I can’t cool off. MS sounds deadly hot. So I understand. It all sounds disheartening and miserable, Heart, and I’m sorry you’re in this tough chapter. May the next one be better! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 6, 2023 Author Share Posted July 6, 2023 I made resume copies today and a short list of places to stop tomorrow to follow up with. But I might not even be able to do that depending on if I leave town a day early to do one car load/trailer load without the kids. My car doesn’t have a way to attach a trailer hitch. I’d get the parts but they are 99% done setting up my dad’s. We thought it was ok but realized something was actually not right. My car has no backseat vents but after a while the backseat cools off. My dad’s car has backseat vents but they don’t work. I’ll drive the kids in it if necessary but most likely I’ll do a trip without the kids and with the trailer — then unload at my storage unit and drive up with them the next day. Hopefully only need the trailer one day. I feel just awful. I couldn’t find my cat when I left town because she was hiding. I called out to her and IIRC I did look under my bed before I closed my bedroom door. My room was a mess and I didn’t want the neighbor or landlord (if they had to come over) see a mess. I left town Sunday… today my neighbor that’s cat sitting said your car was trapped in your room. I heard her today and noticed because the litter box. I thought geez I screwed up and I can’t keep asking others to watch my cat. It’s one thing after another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 78 F is only 25 C right? That is a very cool tempreture We don't have an air conditioner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 6, 2023 Author Share Posted July 6, 2023 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said: 78 F is only 25 C right? That is a very cool tempreture We don't have an air conditioner 79 F. 26 c factor in humidity Edited July 6, 2023 by heartlikealion 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 6, 2023 Author Share Posted July 6, 2023 Ok just for reference, it is currently 8:48 PM here. The weather app says 75 degrees with 94 percent humidity. But I don't need to know the figures. My curly hair poofs up the minute I go outside LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 I lived in Biloxi, Mississippi for one sweaty summer. The temperature was fine, but the humidity is ungodly. 6am and I was drenched in sweat when the sun was barely up! It's a swamp, y'all. With very high humidity, you cannot cool off because your sweat won't evaporate. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 11 minutes ago, Shoeless said: I lived in Biloxi, Mississippi for one sweaty summer. The temperature was fine, but the humidity is ungodly. 6am and I was drenched in sweat when the sun was barely up! It's a swamp, y'all. With very high humidity, you cannot cool off because your sweat won't evaporate. And being shut up in a house with no air flow is worse than not having ac at all. At least when I was a kid with no ac we had windows open with box fans. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 6, 2023 Author Share Posted July 6, 2023 I broke into a sweat right out of the shower as I was blow drying my hair this afternoon. Anyone here have any insights on the dog bather/groomer trainee position at PetSmart? I probably can’t do it (might be too physically demanding) but I’m looking into it, anyway. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 16 minutes ago, Shoeless said: I lived in Biloxi, Mississippi for one sweaty summer. The temperature was fine, but the humidity is ungodly. 6am and I was drenched in sweat when the sun was barely up! It's a swamp, y'all. With very high humidity, you cannot cool off because your sweat won't evaporate. Yep. Like they say, if you want to know what it's like living in the American deep south: take a hot shower, don't dry off, put on all your clothes. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 8 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said: 78 F is only 25 C right? That is a very cool tempreture We don't have an air conditioner Most of Australia is pretty dry, isn't it? 25 or 26 C with still air and 100 percent humidity actually can be pretty miserable. The humidity makes all the difference. I spent a summer with no AC in a humid part of the country and that was awful; cold showers were the only relief. My state is mostly desert. My house regularly gets to 30 C because our AC doesn't work well; I'd take 30 C with dry air over 26 C and high humidity any day. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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