Deeper, open-minded homeschool curriculum

[hordol]

Hello! I am new to this forum--hope this is an okay question to ask. I attend a church that is very homeschooling-heavy, but I cannot see myself falling in to do what they're all doing because it feels limiting and close-minded to me. Again, I hope I'm not offending anyone.

I am a devout Christian. I am evangelical, but I consider myself more open-minded than most and I feel really uncomfortable with curriculum that is unapologetically black & white, young earth, fundamentalist style, white-washed, etc. I did one year of homeschooling, but stopped and put my son in public school because I was so bothered by some of the conversations and things happening in the classical coop we were part of before.

I am revisiting the possibility of homeschooling because I'm not totally happy with some of the things my son is being exposed to in public school. I feel like I need more control over the narrative of the situations going on in the world today. I have learned the hard way that other kids or people often get the opportunity to teach my son things first, things he is too young to really understand, and then I have missed my opportunity to introduce it in a way that balances our religious beliefs with compassion for the world. I also don't feel like I have as much time with my kids to teach them about the Bible and proper character development as I would like. Now I would have 2 to homeschool this fall.

My kids are interested when I brought it up to them, but I am concerned we will feel really isolated. From my research, I am seeing that perhaps a more secular curriculum combined with separate bible study might be the way to go. However, my oldest son is an extrovert and will need time with other kids, possibly daily. That is the part that feels the hardest for me taking him out of school, especially since we don't have the best experience with coops.

Then I wonder if private school is our best option, but the cost of 3 kids in private school is a bit much.

Anyway, I just wanted to throw this out there to see if any others are like me and can offer me your advice or experience. My thoughts right now is if we do homeschool, we would homeschool through 5th grade to build their foundation, and then they would attend public middle school and high school.

[8filltheheart]

In terms of curriculum, there are more options available than can be discussed.  You can easily find curriculum that meets your personal needs or you can put together materials yourself.  (I don't used preplanned curriculum.  I put together the books I want us to read and create our own studies.)

When you have homeschooled for a while, you learn not to discuss nitty gritty details with other homeschoolers.  I am about to finish my 27th yr of homeschooling, and in all of those yrs, I have only met 2 other families IRL whose homeschooling philosophies matched my own.  Yet, I have a lot of homeschooling friends and my kids hang out with a lot of other homeschooled kids.  (The kids also learn not to discuss homeschooling.  😉 )

I am not a co-op person (precisely bc I have never met a group that matches my personal academic goals).  There are plenty of ways to socialize and find activities for your kids without a co-op, especially when they are younger.  It gets harder in high school, but it is still doable.  It just takes more effort.

[LauraClark]

Welcome! I think it's pretty impossible to find curriculum that will exactly match your academic and religious goals. I have found it best to compromise some on the religious aspect (I'm also Christian evangelical). I look for something that fits academically and isn't super far off religiously (like, I wouldn't want something anti-Christian). Things I disagree with I look at as an opportunity for discussion.

My oldest is very outgoing and desires friend interaction often. I also am not a fan of co-ops for multiple reasons, but mostly because my boys never even made friends at the co-op we tried. I schedule playdates, go to library programs (our library lacks in books but has awesome programs), there's a local park meet up that we've done before, we go to church twice a week, and I started teaching an art class a couple years ago just to get some friend interaction. That seems to have met our needs.

[mathmarm]

If you decide to home school you can use a variety of extra curricular activities to meet your kids social needs.

Sports through the city parks and recreation department are usually affordable, fun classes as the Community Recreational Center can provide a 1 or 2 days a week excursion to learn pottery, chess, animation, etc...

Put the kids in Sunday school at a church you feel comfortable with for fellow ship with other children in your faith.

Go to the park and play. I teach my kids how to interact and invite random kids to play with them at the park playground, etc...

[hordol]

2 minutes ago, LauraClark said:

Welcome! I think it's pretty impossible to find curriculum that will exactly match your academic and religious goals. I have found it best to compromise some on the religious aspect (I'm also Christian evangelical). I look for something that fits academically and isn't super far off religiously (like, I wouldn't want something anti-Christian). Things I disagree with I look at as an opportunity for discussion.

My oldest is very outgoing and desires friend interaction often. I also am not a fan of co-ops for multiple reasons, but mostly because my boys never even made friends at the co-op we tried. I schedule playdates, go to library programs (our library lacks in books but has awesome programs), there's a local park meet up that we've done before, we go to church twice a week, and I started teaching an art class a couple years ago just to get some friend interaction. That seems to have met our needs.

Thank you! I know I’m probably looking for a unicorn LOL. I remember from my previous search a few years ago that there are lots of different styles of curriculum from an academic perspective, but not so much from a theological perspective.

[hordol]

25 minutes ago, 8filltheheart said:

In terms of curriculum, there are more options available than can be discussed.  You can easily find curriculum that meets your personal needs or you can put together materials yourself.  (I don't used preplanned curriculum.  I put together the books I want us to read and create our own studies.)

When you have homeschooled for a while, you learn not to discuss nitty gritty details with other homeschoolers.  I am about to finish my 27th yr of homeschooling, and in all of those yrs, I have only met 2 other families IRL whose homeschooling philosophies matched my own.  Yet, I have a lot of homeschooling friends and my kids hang out with a lot of other homeschooled kids.  (The kids also learn not to discuss homeschooling.  😉 )

I am not a co-op person (precisely bc I have never met a group that matches my personal academic goals).  There are plenty of ways to socialize and find activities for your kids without a co-op, especially when they are younger.  It gets harder in high school, but it is still doable.  It just takes more effort.

Sounds similar to school teaching! I have been a teacher for a decade and am leaving the profession after this year, but I also learned to be careful about discussing with other teachers because everyone has an opinion about what you should be doing lol…

[8filltheheart]

5 minutes ago, hordol said:

Thank you! I know I’m probably looking for a unicorn LOL. I remember from my previous search a few years ago that there are lots of different styles of curriculum from an academic perspective, but not so much from a theological perspective.

Personally, I try to avoid books that try to bring theology into subjects.  I find it much easier to add in what I want to highlight than attempt to find something that teaches what I want.

[lmrich]

I was in a different situation but had the same thoughts about wanting to find a community for my kids. So I made one. I offererd classes at my home, at the nearby park, and coordinated with the Arts Center to offer homeschool classes. Build it and they will come. 

[HomeAgain]

When my oldest was young, we used a science company that explained their stance: It was their job to show you all of God's wonders, YOUR job to interpret them within your own theology. It made a lot of sense, and something I wish more companies did.  It's why we ended up with a lot of secular materials in the beginning.  I couldn't stand someone telling me that their interpretation was right and everyone else's was wrong.  It also eliminated completely erroneous information based on flawed methodology.  I'm not interested in an uneducated person's projection of religion.

I think you would find more opportunities than you think with homeschooling.  While my youngest doesn't do hardly any homeschool related meet ups, he does sports, scouting, book clubs, music, and various other things that encourage kids to form friendships.  He takes one online live class, but honestly, the best thing for him during the past two years was downloading Messenger Kids on his Kindle.  He could talk to his friends on days they couldn't get together.  It doesn't have to be an all or nothing.  We've also formed friendships with various families where the kids share interests and they just play together when their schoolwork is done.

I'd say stick your toe in on Facebook and see if there's a group that does park days or field trips together.  You can see what's out there for social time before making a decision.

 

[ScoutTN]

Welcome, OP!

You can find good curricula and design your own path. It will likely be a bit different for each kid. I, too, find much/most Christian curricula to be unsuited for my family. You will find tons of help here as you sort your path and research. These boards are a wealth of creativity and experience.
 

As others have said, you can meet social needs in other ways. Harder if you live rurally, perhaps. But it sounds as though you have plenty of homeschoolers in your area and so probably plenty of EC activities? I cannot see your signature; how old are your kids?

All that said, there are kids who do better in school, despite the drawbacks. I have one of them. However they do school, that parenting work of guiding their thinking and helping them interpret the world is a big job! 

Two fundamental principles of homeschooling: parents are the primary educators of their children and one size does not fit all. 

 

[hordol]

Thank you everyone! You’ve given me some good things to ponder and research more.

[AnneGG]

I don’t participate in activities led and managed by other homeschool moms. In our area, there are only a few options and they are dominated by certain type of homeschooler. We participate in homeschool days at the museums, zoos, trampoline park, etc. There are homeschool days at the library and we also participate in the library programs like Lego club and board game club. We do Awana and Trail Life at a church across town because ours doesn’t offer them. 
 

I feel like The Good and The Beautiful is fairly general in mentioning God. I’ve used it off and on for years and never seen anything controversial. Sonlight leans more towards liberal Christian than conservative. Story of the World covers some Bible but I wouldn’t say it’s particularly Christian. I think there are plenty of curriculum options, both secular and Christian. We’ve used Moving Beyond the Page, Five in a row, Brave Writer and Hearth Magic. 

Once you start joining different social media sites for curriculum I think it is easy to weed things out. For instance, I won’t use any product from a certain publisher that shall not be named after my experience on their app. It was very eye opening and I was appalled. 

[hordol]

1 hour ago, AnneGG said:

I don’t participate in activities led and managed by other homeschool moms. In our area, there are only a few options and they are dominated by certain type of homeschooler. We participate in homeschool days at the museums, zoos, trampoline park, etc. There are homeschool days at the library and we also participate in the library programs like Lego club and board game club. We do Awana and Trail Life at a church across town because ours doesn’t offer them. 
 

I feel like The Good and The Beautiful is fairly general in mentioning God. I’ve used it off and on for years and never seen anything controversial. Sonlight leans more towards liberal Christian than conservative. Story of the World covers some Bible but I wouldn’t say it’s particularly Christian. I think there are plenty of curriculum options, both secular and Christian. We’ve used Moving Beyond the Page, Five in a row, Brave Writer and Hearth Magic. 

Once you start joining different social media sites for curriculum I think it is easy to weed things out. For instance, I won’t use any product from a certain publisher that shall not be named after my experience on their app. It was very eye opening and I was appalled. 

Thank you so much, this is very helpful.

[Clarita]

12 hours ago, hordol said:

My kids are interested when I brought it up to them, but I am concerned we will feel really isolated. From my research, I am seeing that perhaps a more secular curriculum combined with separate bible study might be the way to go. However, my oldest son is an extrovert and will need time with other kids, possibly daily. That is the part that feels the hardest for me taking him out of school, especially since we don't have the best experience with coops.

So far (my kids are K and below) I like using secular curriculum and adding in Biblical portions (like scripture and Bible stories/reading) separately. When reading through some of the curriculum I felt a lot of Biblical stuff was wedged into the lessons anyways, which I didn't like from a religious perspective or an academic perspective. Like, I don't like story of Noah's Arc being wedged into a lesson about the number 2. I want Biblical stories and scripture to be a little more sacred/special than a silly story to illustrate the number 2. As for teaching the math itself, I want that to be more demonstrative of things they could really relate to and see in daily life.  

Where we live there are a lot of extracurricular classes my kids can be a part of, or play groups (for younger kids) to be a part of that isn't tied to schooling. A nearby private school in my area also offers a hybrid (homeschool or independent study) program so that it's cheaper than full time private school, but your homeschool child(ren) can enjoy some classes in a brick and mortar or sports programs.

[Ellie]

You could do something like Ambleside Online, a Charlotte Mason approach using trade books (books you would find in the library or at a bookstore) instead of textbooks. Also, there may be support groups in your area--not co-ops, but support groups. Then you can have some socializing/support/interaction with other homeschoolers, but it would be in the form of relaxed park days or other activities, Moms' Night Out, occasional field trips, and so on.

[Clemsondana]

We never used Christian programs because I thought it would be confusing if they taught religion in an integrated way and I disagreed with their interpretation - like, would kid be able to separate the science or history from the theology that mom complained about?  I used Hirsch's Core Knowledge sequence (the What your 1st grader needs to know) books as a general topic guide - we did units in geography, art, music, world history, US history, and usually 2 science units (often a biology one and a physical science one).  But, there are lots of ways to do it!  I just checked out library books and bought books for those content subjects, or found videos, or we made models - it depended on the kid.  It was easy to find materials for math, handwriting, spelling/vocab/grammar/phonics, whatever was age appropriate.  We got ideas for readings from Hirsh - one kid loved fables, for instance.  When they were young we sometimes just read Bible stories for their Bible instruction.  In late elementary I found some topical study guides that they liked, and with older in high school they now do deeper Bible studies using resources that we choose together.  It's been the right fit for us.  

We were blessed to find a great co-op where kids could take 1-6 classes one day a week.  It's more of a tutorial with paid teachers, and my kids have mostly taken fun classes or things like art, choir, PE, and chess, although we do foreign language and sometimes English once they get to middle school.  Co-op led to a group that does science competitions, and that has been great for my kids and has let them see some of the same co-op kids more often.  They also participate in sports through homeschool teams, rec lor travel eagues, or for my older the public school high school team.  There are homeschool classes at youngers martial arts school, so we do that 2 hrs, 2 days/week, and places that do music also often offer homeschool daytime classes in addition to their afternoon afterschool activities.  We haven't participated, but the zoo and some museums do homeschool classes - they look great but have never fit our schedule. Both kids participate in youth at church (and were involved in the kids classes when they were younger), and for one of them it's a great social outlet (the other is fine going, but it's not where their friend group is).  

[Quarter Note]

@hordol, just want to chime in with the others: You will be surprised what a broad spectrum of choices are out there when you start looking.  You can find or make your choices work for you, rather than the other way around.

First of all, have you read The Well-Trained Mind?  (I know you're here on this forum, but some people join the forum without actually reading the book!)  If not, start there.  If you would like some specific curriculum recommendations, just say so - and we will inundate you.  😉

About your extraverted child, my daughter is the most extraverted person I know!  We find ways for her to be homeschooled and to hang out with other kids her age - and we do not live in a big population center.  There are ways for extraverted kids to be happily homeschooled.

Please don't give up on all co-ops.  I like what @lmrich said - you can make your own.  Before Covid, we had a co-op that we loved.  There was a very wide range of Christian doctrine represented, but we all respected each other.  There were a few hiccups, but I think that we all loved each other's kids so much that we wanted to work through those hiccups.  All the kids became each other's cousins.  We moms were all extra aunties.  It can work well.  

Best wishes to you!

[Grace-Faith JF]

My husband and I decided to home school our girls when we were not happy with what they were learning in their christian school. We started out using text books from the library, free homeschool curriculums, and other learning programs. We placed the girls in different church activities, they attended the library homeschool group, they were involved with the YMCA, and when shopping they're involved in making their list of needs/wants and communicate with the cashier to make their purchases. As they got older we needed to change their educational materials to meet their needs. We decided to go with study.com because it is self pace; it provides experiments and hands on activities;  provides the girls with an abundance of what they need for their grade level; and we are able to incorporate Bible studies, nature, and proper character development. I hope things work out for you and your family.

[Carol in Cal.]

The main advice I have for you is—don’t try for an all in one curriculum.  Rather, be the teacher.  Choose the best for your family for each subject separately.  There is no particular reason to use a scheduled curriculum.  The schedule tends to reduce your flexibility anyway.  Far better to be able to spend a whole day at a Renaissance Faire once in a while, taking craft classes, observing costumes, and talking about Queen Elizabeth and Sir Francis Drake, and then heading home to read aloud all the books you have about that period, and then going to the library for a few more, than inching through 7 mini-subjects wondering why people say that homeschooling can be creative and enjoyable.  

Pick out your curricula, stay flexible about field learning opportunities, and do the next thing, and you’ll have a way better experience; and, I might add, one that will be more in tune with your own values and beliefs.  Use the extra-curriculars to make friends.

[goldenecho]

I might have some things to suggest, but I am wondering about the ages of your kids first?  

[2_girls_mommy]

I am going to second the suggestion of reading The Well Trained Mind and starting there if you haven't yet.  Then learn to put together your own curriculum.  There is a Debra Bell book on Homeschooling Teens that is also good for helping do this in the teen years.  I am sure she has materials for younger grades too, but can't say for sure because that is the one that I have and have read.  But I know there is Homeschooling Year by Year by Rebecca Rupp for all grades that is a simpler to read yet similar set up to The Well Trained Mind.  There is Charlotte Mason style Ambleside Online that has a schedule and free curriculum.  There are all kinds of ways to put together your own full curriculum without just ordering from a homeschool publisher. 

[goldenecho]

I usually make tweaks to my curriculum.  This is very easy when you are at the stage where you are reading to your child (which lasted longer for me because my son had dyslexia). 

Like you, I'm a Christian, but some Christian curriculum rubbed me wrong in various ways (and I'm somewhat ambiguous about young earth creationism).  I found Story of the World, while secular, to be very "Christian friendly."   Still, even then I felt the need to tweak and supplement some.   I re-wrote a couple of the chapters, adding in things I wanted included.  Occasionally I would replace a chapter with a video or library book or other resource.  I added Bible stories with a children's Bible, and took long breaks just to deal with Biblical stories that were missing during the volume on Ancient times (part of the reason it took us a couple years to finish that).  I also like the History Lives series by Mindy and Brandon Wilson, for adding in church history, for later volumes.  

Another example of one way that I tweaked curriculum (which is sort of an expensive method, but in this case I'm glad I did it), is to use both a secular and religious curriculum together, and pick parts from both that I like.  For our second run through ancient history, I combined three curriculum that address science and history together, Science of Ancient Egypt (a secular resource on Teachers Pay Teachers), Science in the Ancient World (a Christian curriculum by a young earth creationist, who is still an excellent scientist...though his domain is physics/chemistry, not biology), and The Story of Science (a secular curriculum that is still respectful of religion).  I used selections from all of these and it worked out really well.  

[Janeway]

The scary thing with homeschooling is that you get to know the other kids and parents. When you send your kids to school, whether private or public, you can step back and not know people or at least not know them well. This makes it easy to feel like stuff you disagree with is not going on.

Sending the kids back to school rather than just leaving your coop seems like a drastic move. If you are going to pull them out again, make sure you are prepared to commit and work through these problems. 

The Well Trained Mind books have tons of suggestions that are not extreme religiously. Plus, most religious curricula can be used with guidance to get around whatever is being taught that you disagree with. For example, you could still use Apologia if you want and just explain the differences between young Earth and Old Earth. I, personally, do not care for Apologia, but I do know it is very high quality, better quality than most anything else out there for teachability and content. I love Story of the World. We have also used her high school books. 

I think I land where you are, religiously. But one thing to come to terms with is that "open minded" literally means being open to others viewpoints. It is okay to not be open minded. I have no problem being around people of a variety of views, religions, politics, etc. Using books from a variety of view points can actually bring on some good conversations of "what this family believes" and what is the right thing to do, and so on. I would not purchase an entire curriculum that is constantly trying to hammer in the other point of view. Be just as careful with resources that call themselves secular. Some of those can be just as extreme in the opposite direction. You want a middle ground and there is plenty of that out there.

[serendipitous journey]

Thirding the suggestion to start with The Well-Trained Mind book.  Particularly resources on beginning study of informal logic & fallacies.

I'd also strongly suggest a subscription to The Economist for yourself.  You could just start with reading the science section & the obituary; but The Economist is well-written and gives substantial background information in each article, is not anti-religious, and criticizes everyone -- you can count on them to point out the foibles of any politician, for example.  A year or two of such reading will greatly improve your ability to understand the strengths of a variety of viewpoints as well as their weaknesses.  FWIW, the Economist is socially liberal, more fiscally conservative.  

RE science -- Apologia has come up, and there are many things it does well, but if you want a science curriculum I'd strongly suggest you take at look at Wile's "Science in History" instead.  I think it is  a science program that will not undermine your religious teachings, but does teach science quite well (better than Apologia) and treats secular scientists even-handedly.   It can fairly easily be taught to all elementary ages.

Just my thoughts!  take what suits; toss the rest; and I'm wishing you well.  

Edited April 11, 2022 by serendipitous journey

[qlauraq]

On 2/21/2022 at 6:33 AM, hordol said:

I am a devout Christian. I am evangelical, but I consider myself more open-minded than most and I feel really uncomfortable with curriculum that is unapologetically black & white, young earth, fundamentalist style, white-washed, etc. I did one year of homeschooling, but stopped and put my son in public school because I was so bothered by some of the conversations and things happening in the classical coop we were part of before.

You are not alone here! I call this Fundie Creep where Fundamentalist doctrines have been creeping into even decidedly non-fundamentalist spaces, and I have seen really grounded down-to-earth parents get sucked into trying to compete with pietism, or alternately be pushed out to the fringes of Christian HS groups because they couldn't toe the fundamentalist line. (I've been in the HS community for nearly 2 decades now, so I've been watching this for a loooong time). I think TLC shows that have portrayed some pretty extremist Fundie families as main-stream and wholesome (even though they have known all along that some very unwholesome things were being covered up) have played a big part in this. I myself have even gotten sucked into some aspects, and I'm coming from a Lutheran background.

Anyway, yes, I feel you. Dh and  I are not YEC so we use secular science materials. While we do include a lot of religion in our homeschool (catechism, hymns, prayers, bible study, and more), we do not feel compelled to have all our materials be Christian-centered, because well, sometimes it's just not relevant. 

Plus, I've had the privilege of graduating 2 children to adulthood so far, and watched many friends do the same, and let me assure you-- a Christ-centered curriculum does not guarantee a devout young adulthood! Having Bible quotes in your math text does not guard your children's hearts from sin, and white-washed history texts do not help them avoid temptation. (In fact, there are no guarantees in homeschooling or parenthood, so all the grace in the world to all the parents trying to do the absolute best for their children because that is all any of us can do!)

So if you love homeschooling, then by all means do it on your own terms. Feel free to use any mix of religious and secular materials you want, and do not feel tempted to get sucked into anyone else's definition of holy enough. Be bold!

[Ting Tang]

We're semi-new homeschoolers. This was our second year.   Before our first year, I had no idea there were so many curriculum options.  Now I know more, and I've learned there are so many options that it is harder to make a decision!  

If you want to incorporate more color into your history curriculum, the Heritage Homeschool Mom has some great resources and book lists.  Plus, she has a pretty cool attitude about parenting, I think.  I am hoping to incorporate some of her suggestions into our homeschool.