Menu planning vent

[Loowit]

I hate menu planning.  I dread it.  I have been sitting at my computer for a couple hours and finally got next weeks menu planned.  I can't not plan, because that is a disaster and kills our already tight food budget.  We have to deal with life threatening food allergies, food intolerances, and extremely limited foods some family members will eat (flavor, texture aversion, etc)

I thought things would be easier when DD was off at school, but no, it hasn't gotten better.  She was actually to the point that she would try most things, only a few things were on her won't eat list due to texture issues.

DH doesn't do spicy anything at all.  But he has improved dramatically since we got married 25 years ago.  He will now eat a much broader range of foods if I am careful about seasoning.  DS18 will eat many things, but hates any casserole type things, most fruits & veggies.  DS16 will not eat much at all.  He has food allergies which contribute.  He will not eat rice, potatoes (unless deep fried), most fruits or veggies, soups of any kind, or eggs (unless boiled, chopped, and put on lettuce).

Meat costs are going up rapidly so I would like to do more meals that spread out the meat like a soup or stew, but kids will not eat either.

Next weeks menu is:

Waffles for dinner - not nutritious but everyone will eat it

Roast beef, potatoes, veggies, homemade rolls - DH will eat it all, older boy will eat all but veggies, youngest will maybe, if I am lucky, eat the roast and rolls

Cheeseburgers and chips - again not healthy but I do make homemade buns.  DS and older boy will eat, I will have to make a chicken burger for youngest

Chicken and dumplings - because I am craving it (comfort food) - no one else will eat it as is.  DH will eat everything but the dumplings, not sure if either DS will eat any of it.  So I will also make biscuits.

Ham - all of them eat ham (usually/sometimes/if I am lucky), rice (3 of us eat it), and veggie (DH &I will eat)

Date night is easy - I only have to worry about DH and I who usually get take-out or make something we like for just the two of us and they boys get a frozen pizza of their choice

Pork chops, fried apples, and some sort of homemade bread - DH will not eat pork chops, but older DS will, youngest does sometimes, the rest will be eaten by all usually

 

I don't need menu suggestions, just to vent.  Please feel free to add you own vents.

[alisoncooks]

I hear ya. About a year ago, I sat down with all my “family approved” meals and planned out 10 solid weeks worth of menus. Oh, kid#1 doesn’t like broccoli soup? Well, suck it up — ya won’t have to eat it again for 10 more weeks. 

I’m still tweaking small parts every now and then (filling in side item/veg variety - my weakness) but we’ve been following it for about a year and it makes things easier for me! (Obviously I don’t plan my menus around sales but that’s fine by me.)

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

It’s horrible. I am really trying to do better.  I have life threatening allergies to seafood/shellfish, and since having COVID and losing my smell, any meat other than chicken, peanut butter and chocolate all taste absolutely rancid.

DH has a gluten allergy.

DS11 will try anything, but hates cooked vegetables and spicy foods. He’d live on cheeseburgers, chicken and rice.

DD9 has a sensory aversion to chicken.  
DS6 has severe sensory aversions to anything mushy, spongy(like mushrooms), or mixed like a casserole. He has a milk sensitivity as well, though he is okay if it’s cooked or a small amount.

My sister, who stays with us frequently when she’s in NY, has an allergy to all red meat caused by a form of lyme Disease.

We eat a lot of vanilla yogurt. 

[Katy]

I’m sorry.  That stinks.

[alisoncooks]

8 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

It’s horrible. I am really trying to do better.  I have life threatening allergies to seafood/shellfish, and since having COVID and losing my smell, any meat other than chicken, peanut butter and chocolate all taste absolutely rancid.

We’re dealing with this as well. My dd and I are struggling to eat our normal tried and true foods. For us, peanut butter is definitely on the rotten list. Garlic and onion are gross, and I’m used to cooking with them in nearly everything! Even cucumbers are nasty. Totally sucks. 

[Ailaena]

I can’t anymore, I don’t have the energy.  If you are that picky about what I’m making then you’d better help me plan a damned menu because that alone takes longer than making the food.  

[Clarita]

FWIW I love Alice Water's method for meal planning. I hated meal planning until I used her method. To sum it up it's more stock your pantry, learn some techniques of cooking (this would be what you'd get from her book or her masterclass), then shop for fresh foods that look good at the store or are in season or suits your fancy. Then you plan your meals from your grocery runs as many or as little days as you want.  

It helps me do less processed foods, more simple everyday made from scratch recipes, and less stuck in a rut (at least every season brings a new food). However my family isn't picky about food. We don't have food allergies, although generally our meat and veggies are typically allergy safe (also pretty easy to cut out allergens if needed - I do have to do this for my BIL).  

[rutheart]

We have a lot of food allergies too, and it feels like we're always in a rut. My latest menu planning hack is to google month of the year senior menu (i.e. "November senior menu"). I can't utilize 90% of the stuff on the menus, but if I look at 5 pages of google results, I can usually plan a (heavily modified) week's menu, plus have some extra ideas for the following week. The recipes tend to be more seasonal, which I prefer over a strict rotating menu. As a bonus, senior menus often include sides, veg, and desserts, so it gives me more ideas to vary the non-entree parts of the meal.  Each week at the bottom of my menu, I write down which page number of google results to start at for the next week (at least until a new month starts).

[Elizabeth86]

I hear you. I love my family, I love homeschooling, I love my kids, but I loathe the food side of it all. My kids are picky af. Dh is NOT picky. He is currently counting calories and has become less picky, bless his heart. Yeah, I’ve been menu planning today too and it makes me miserable. I have implemented somewhat of a routine to take the guess work out and it involves a lot of your Ideas that go something like not healthy, but everyone will eat it.  

[Kassia]

I definitely understand and feel bad for all of us in this situation.  Fortunately, my kids are grown now so it's only an issue when they come to visit.  But they come for long visits and the most stressful part is the darn meal planning because of everyone's diets and preferences.  We used to go for all inclusive vacations every year and that was the best money spent because everyone was happy and I didn't have to spend one single second thinking about anyone's food but mine.  I hate that I am so stressed when my kids say they are coming home just because of the meal planning but that's the way it is.  DH and I were just going over a week of dinners for when they will be home for THanksgiving and he got fed up and said, "Look, at some point we just tell them this is what is served and they can fill in with other stuff if they want."  But I want them to be happy and to want to keep coming home.  And they use their precious vacation time to be here and travel so I feel like it's the least I can do, but boy is it stressful.  Fortunately, no food allergies, though.  

It's SO easy with just me and DH at home, though!  

Edited November 12, 2021 by Kassia

[skimomma]

I loathe menu planning for non-picky people with no allergies, so I can sympathize.  My barrier is trying to work around what is available at any given time (fresh produce that is not a wilted mess can be very limited here) and having meal substitutions in case key ingredients are not available.  I have no excuse for hating it.  I just do.

[sweet2ndchance]

 I deal with food allergies, intolerances and texture aversions here too. It is a nightmare to meal plan.

I'm the only one who will eat chicken and dumplings and sometimes I just want some chicken and dumplings, damn it! lol So I make it all the way up to the point of adding the dumplings and then split the chicken mixture in half and only put the dumplings in half of the mixture. Sometimes I'm nice and put the other half without dumplings in a pie crust for chicken pot pie which they will eat. The rest of the time, they get biscuits to eat with the chicken mixture.

Dh won't eat frozen veggies, only canned. I love frozen veggies and only tolerate canned veggies if it's the only thing available! So I get lots of the individual size, heat and eat frozen veggies for me and I get the little cans of veggies for him and ds to eat. Not as cost effective but it ensures everyone gets some veggies at least, so I justify the cost.

Youngest ds is my only kid who won't eat salad in any form. Dh doesn't like the taste of curry powder in any form (weirdo, lol). Most casseroles are hit or miss because dh can't stand certain foods touching. I'm deathly allergic to tomato which means any and all tomato based recipes are out unless I can somehow make a substitution with red bell pepper (which I use to make spaghetti sauce) or my nomato ketchup recipe and bbq sauce recipe.

I tried growing my own red bell peppers to try and offset the extra cost of using them as a tomato substitute but they are so fussy to grow and I only get a handful of red ones and only slightly more green ones for my trouble. I either need some gardening lessons or a whole acre of red pepper plants to get enough to be worth canning my own red bell peppers. lol

[melmichigan]

Okay, after reading it enough times, someone please give me a simple chicken and dumpling recipe my kids could follow! 😁

I'm also in a meal planning rut, but have to figure something out with the rise in food prices. 

[alisoncooks]

1 minute ago, melmichigan said:

Okay, after reading it enough times, someone please give me a simple chicken and dumpling recipe my kids could follow! 😁

I'm also in a meal planning rut, but have to figure something out with the rise in food prices. 

Question is: do you like noodle-y dumplings or biscuit-y/dough-y dumplings?

[melmichigan]

4 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Question is: do you like noodle-y dumplings or biscuit-y/dough-y dumplings?

I would go for either but I never learned how to make my own dumplings from scratch, so please keep that in mind.

[Loowit]

8 minutes ago, melmichigan said:

Okay, after reading it enough times, someone please give me a simple chicken and dumpling recipe my kids could follow! 😁

I'm also in a meal planning rut, but have to figure something out with the rise in food prices. 

I don't really have a recipe.  I just kinda wing it.

I simmer a chicken for an hour in water with salt, pepper, carrots and celery (my mom also uses onions but I leave them out)

Pull the chicken out of the broth and let it cool, reserving the broth

Once it is cooled, pull meat off the bones, cutting it up into bite size pieces if needed

Put the chicken in a large sauce pan or pot, add in 4 cups of the reserved broth, the chicken, season to taste (I use some onion powder and paprika along with salt and pepper as needed).  You can also put the veggies back in if you want, they will be soft, or put in fresh for a firmer texture.

Bring it to a boil, turn it down to medium-low to simmer.

Make drop biscuits (recipe below), drop them by spoonful (or whatever size you want) onto the simmering chicken/broth mixture.

cook uncovered for 10 minutes, cover and cook for another 10 minutes.  Then it is ready to serve.

Drop Biscuits:

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 Tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 stick butter (1/2 cup) cut up and cold

1 cup milk or cream

Mix the flour, baking powder, and salt together with a heavy duty fork.  Cut in the butter, add the milk.  Mix just until combined.

 

[freesia]

Oh, my goodness that would drive me insane. We have an allergy and low carb issues here to work around. I try not to plan more than two meals a week that I know someone doesn’t prefer. ( Ds doesn’t like stew or soup. Dd doesn’t like curry.) . I try to plan so everyone has one meal a week that they really like ( including me.). But everyone eats the meals they don’t prefer. I think it would be harder if dh was picky. That makes it harder to insist that people eat without complaint for sure. 
 

I know you are mainly venting but could everyone take a night of the week to cook and give you a break?

[Loowit]

3 minutes ago, freesia said:

Oh, my goodness that would drive me insane. We have an allergy and low carb issues here to work around. I try not to plan more than two meals a week that I know someone doesn’t prefer. ( Ds doesn’t like stew or soup. Dd doesn’t like curry.) . I try to plan so everyone has one meal a week that they really like ( including me.). But everyone eats the meals they don’t prefer. I think it would be harder if dh was picky. That makes it harder to insist that people eat without complaint for sure. 
 

I know you are mainly venting but could everyone take a night of the week to cook and give you a break?

I did have each one take a night where they had to plan and make dinner one night each week.  It went okay at first, but then started to go downhill fast.  Youngest was really good at doing homemade individual pizzas, but DD complained a couple times that it wasn't how she wanted it so he refused to make it anymore.  Then he tried a few other things, but got more and more frustrated because not everyone would eat what he made.  It did give him more sympathy for me, but now he refuses to cook unless I really need his help.  Older son was a pain because I had to keep helping him with what he was doing, and he never came up with anything on his own.  Eventually it just wasn't worth it, because it was even more stressful.  DH does all the cooking on Sunday, but I have to plan what he makes and give him any instructions on how to do it.  He doesn't seem to care much how many people eat what he makes.

[Eos]

13 minutes ago, Loowit said:

He doesn't seem to care much how many people eat what he makes.

This is my DH but with a twist: when he cooks he makes stuff that he and the kids eat but I don't.  So on the days when he cooks, instead of me cooking for everyone else plus mine, I just cook mine.  I've only just now been able to put this into words.  I'm not picky, I just don't eat pasta, pizza, or potatoes due to painful joints.  I guess if I meal-planned for him I could get him to cook something else but that is for sure part of the allure (for me) of him cooking in the first place - no meal planning!

[Bootsie]

Sorry this is so frustrating.  I had one child with some food allergies and one with significant GI issues which made meal planning a moving target as we tried to find something that would help.  In addition, my two children seemed to have totally opposite food preferences--DD does not like nuts, except macadamias; DS loved nuts until he ate a cookie with a macadamia in it and ran to the trash can to spit it out.  DD cannot even stand the smell of potatoes (there is a rare french fry or potato chip she will eat); potatoes are one of DS's favorite foods, the list goes on....

I gave up on long-term meal planning (more than a day or two ahead) except in rare situations.  I tried to have one thing that I knew each kid would eat that was reasonably nutritious that was available at each meal (or could be pulled out of the freezer and heated) to lower my frustration and to avoid power struggles.

[fraidycat]

Big hugs! You are not alone. Besides eating it, I hate ALL.the.things that have to do with food. Thinking, planning, prepping, shopping, preparing, storing, cleaning. All of it. Allergies, preferences, and pickiness just adds to my loathing. If I were rich enough to afford it, I would 100% outsource all things food to a full-time chef/cook staff.

[alisoncooks]

49 minutes ago, melmichigan said:

I would go for either but I never learned how to make my own dumplings from scratch, so please keep that in mind.

I do mine in the crockpot. It’s super easy because I’m not an intuitive cook. Serves 6ish  

Place 2 chicken breasts in slow cooker and salt and pepper them.    Add 1/2 tsp poultry seasoning, 1/2 tsp celery salt, 1/2 stick butter in pieces, 1 can cream of chicken, 2 10-oz cans chicken broth. Cook on low until chicken is shreddable (5-6 hrs). Remove chicken to shred, but while you’re doing that, add 3/4 milk to crock pot, replace the lid and increase heat to high. Shred chicken and return to pot. 
Dumplings of the biscuit-y variety: (I’ve seen where people chop Grands into small chunks and add them, also Reams noodles work). But I melt 6 tsp of butter and mix with 1/2 c milk. Stir in dry ingredients (mix together 1.5 c all purpose flour, 1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt). Stir all together and drop by small spoonful into pot. Cook on high 30+ min. 

[cjzimmer1]

I don't know if this would work but I'll throw it out there.

Stop making a fresh meal that everyone will eat everyday. 

For example,

Monday make a meal that everyone will eat (double it if it doesn't normally have leftovers),  Next night make something that most will eat, the one who can't/won't eat Tuesday's meal, can eat leftovers from Monday.  Wednesday make something that a different group can/will eat.  Non eaters of Wednesday's meal can eat the leftovers from Monday (assuming you still have some) or Tuesdays meal.  Basically, this will give everyone a few fresh meals they enjoy each week as well give you a little bit more leeway in what you plan.  Of course if your people won't eat leftovers, then it won't work but if if you could get a couple of days where the meal didn't need to be so specific might help.

 

[freesia]

56 minutes ago, Loowit said:

I did have each one take a night where they had to plan and make dinner one night each week.  It went okay at first, but then started to go downhill fast.  Youngest was really good at doing homemade individual pizzas, but DD complained a couple times that it wasn't how she wanted it so he refused to make it anymore.  Then he tried a few other things, but got more and more frustrated because not everyone would eat what he made.  It did give him more sympathy for me, but now he refuses to cook unless I really need his help.  Older son was a pain because I had to keep helping him with what he was doing, and he never came up with anything on his own.  Eventually it just wasn't worth it, because it was even more stressful.  DH does all the cooking on Sunday, but I have to plan what he makes and give him any instructions on how to do it.  He doesn't seem to care much how many people eat what he makes.

😞

[Kassia]

52 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

Big hugs! You are not alone. Besides eating it, I hate ALL.the.things that have to do with food. Thinking, planning, prepping, shopping, preparing, storing, cleaning. All of it. Allergies, preferences, and pickiness just adds to my loathing. If I were rich enough to afford it, I would 100% outsource all things food to a full-time chef/cook staff.

Yes, this!  

I always say if I were single I'd never cook anything other than eggs.  I hate everything involved and don't want anything that takes longer to deal with than it does to eat.  Just give me a bowl of cereal and I'm thrilled.