help me survive perimenopause

[cintinative]

I'm 48 and in the thick of it.

I have PMDD which makes it harder. 

I have had some months with two cycles (every two weeks). 

I have the hot flashes/hot at night almost always now, but worse right before my cycle (this part has been typical for a long time)

The worst is the sleep disruption, which used to be just before my cycle and now is randomly anytime. Usually the way it works is that I wake in the night and I am not able to go back to sleep for hours.  

I am already exercising at least one hour daily (it's more like two actually if you count dog walking and physical therapy). I take a shower before bed. I take an antidepressant. 

When I was on birth control I had breakthrough bleeding all month. We tried switching pills and that didn't help. That was maybe four-six years ago. So I am not exactly thrilled about the idea of going back on them.

What else am I missing? Do I just need to white knuckle it through? 

Edited August 9, 2021 by cintinative

[JennyD]

No specific advice but I warmly recommend this book, which I recently read.  It's just terrific and has tons of info about different ways of treating various symptoms.

[KeriJ]

Magnesium.  It's the only supplement that I notice if it's missed. I like the citrate version,  but I know there are others.

And then, not kidding,  a small cup of vanilla ice cream before bed.

Reduce or eliminate caffeine. 

Those are the things that have actually helped take some of the edge off. 

[fairfarmhand]

I was having a whole lot of that. What helped me was 15,000 steps a day and included in that is at least half an hour of VERY HARD VERY SWEATY VERY INTENSE cardio workouts. Also, at least 30 minutes outdoors a day, no matter the weather. The sleep and the hot flashes did improve with that. I am so sorry. It is so hard to function when you don't sleep well. In fact, for me, I can handle so many other things but the sleep stuff about did me in. The depression is much better since I am sleeping.

Of course, you are an individual, I'm just relating what worked for me. I really hope you find what works for you very soon.

[KeriJ]

3 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I was having a whole lot of that. What helped me was 15,000 steps a day and included in that is at least half an hour of VERY HARD VERY SWEATY VERY INTENSE cardio workouts. Also, at least 30 minutes outdoors a day, no matter the weather. The sleep and the hot flashes did improve with that. I am so sorry. It is so hard to function when you don't sleep well. In fact, for me, I can handle so many other things but the sleep stuff about did me in. The depression is much better since I am sleeping.

Of course, you are an individual, I'm just relating what worked for me. I really hope you find what works for you very soon.

Yes! My list above is in addition to sweaty exercise and being outdoors daily!

Edited August 9, 2021 by KeriJ

[Selkie]

Try a whole food plant based diet with plenty of soy (tofu, tempeh, soy curls). That's what I eat and I made it through menopause without a single hot flash or night sweat. I've read that the same is true for women in Asian countries who consume lots of plants and soy.

 

[ScoutTN]

Acupuncture!

It made all my symptoms go away and I felt like me again. 

Edited August 9, 2021 by ScoutTN

[Scarlett]

I couldn't get through it without hormones. The anxiety was what I could not deal with on my own and why I decided to take hormones. 

And also my doctor prescribed ativan for my sleep disruptions....I took that for several years but not now. 

Hot flashes are worsened by sugar.....ice cream or wine near bed time always made sleep worse because hot flashes would wake me up.

 

[cintinative]

1 hour ago, Selkie said:

Try a whole food plant based diet with plenty of soy (tofu, tempeh, soy curls). That's what I eat and I made it through menopause without a single hot flash or night sweat. I've read that the same is true for women in Asian countries who consume lots of plants and soy.

 

I'm allergic to soy, unfortunately. 

[Mom_to3]

I am 47, but well beyond the 2 periods in one month stage (routinely have no period for 5 or 6 months). Anxiety (made worse by random symptoms likely caused by perimenopause) and insomnia have been the worst aspects - they got gradually worse over the years. I have not found anything that works (other than that my obgyn prescribed occasional Ambien), but I wasn't willing to try hormones. I am counting down the months to menopause and will be crushed if I have to start the countdown all over yet again..

[cintinative]

I think I have the exercise mostly covered. I do a hard workout about four days a week for at least 45 minutes. The other days it is more pilates/strength--still tiring but not necessarily sweaty.  I walk outside  with my dog  every day for about a half hour, but it is leisurely. 

I switch to decaf coffee after my morning coffee so no real caffeine after 10 a.m. every day. I know decaf coffee has a very small amount of caffeine.

 

Edited August 9, 2021 by cintinative

[mommyoffive]

2 hours ago, Mom_to3 said:

I am 47, but well beyond the 2 periods in one month stage (routinely have no period for 5 or 6 months). Anxiety (made worse by random symptoms likely caused by perimenopause) and insomnia have been the worst aspects - they got gradually worse over the years. I have not found anything that works (other than that my obgyn prescribed occasional Ambien), but I wasn't willing to try hormones. I am counting down the months to menopause and will be crushed if I have to start the countdown all over yet again..

Hold the phone, what???  Oh man. 

[cintinative]

30 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

Hold the phone, what???  Oh man. 

I know, right?  

[regentrude]

My worst peri symptoms are mental health related. I have tried any number of supplements without effect. Topical progesterone made things so bad that I will never touch the stuff again.

The only thing that helped me was intense exercise outdoors. As in: hours of farm work in the sun, intense hikes, strenuous kayaking trips. That level of outdoor exercise required a reevaluation of my entire daily schedule and is hard to fit around a normal job. Thankfully mine is somewhat flexible, and I am pushing as much work as possible to rainy days and darkness. 

ETA: For the insomnia, my solution was to give up the fight and just get up, putter around the house for a couple of hours, and then go back to bed.

Edited August 9, 2021 by regentrude

[RootAnn]

Soy makes it much worse in some women. An acquaintance started consuming more soy and actually had the multiple period thing occur at that point. When she cut out the soy as completely as possible, her cycles went back to normal. YMMV.

I hope you find something that works!

[Selkie]

1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

And I was told to avoid it due to estrogen dominance. 

That was a misconception that has now been thoroughly debunked. Soy has been found to actually be protective against breast and other types of cancer.

https://www.aicr.org/resources/blog/soy-and-cancer-myths-and-misconceptions/

[cintinative]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

My worst peri symptoms are mental health related. I have tried any number of supplements without effect. Topical progesterone made things so bad that I will never touch the stuff again.

Good to know. Because of my PMDD I am used to rough times but it has been much worse with perimenopause  because it is much less predictable and the lows are lower. Of course lack of sleep affects mood too. It’s a perfect storm sometimes. Hang in there.

Edited August 10, 2021 by cintinative

[Sammish]

When I started experiencing perimenopause symptoms, my mom told me about these supplements she takes (she takes the menopause version, but suggested the peri version to me). At first I rolled my eyes on blew it off. Okay, Mom, whatever, your over the counter quack pills aren't going to help. But I tried them (just to make her stop suggesting them 😆), and darned if they don't make a big, positive, difference! As in, I definitely notice if I forget to take the nighttime one, because I can't fall asleep. (That's the easiest symptom to notice a difference in immediately, but they help with all of them for me). They're worth a shot to see if they help you, too. They're Nature's Way, PeriMenopause Formula, AM/PM. 

[cintinative]

14 minutes ago, Sammish said:

When I started experiencing perimenopause symptoms, my mom told me about these supplements she takes (she takes the menopause version, but suggested the peri version to me). At first I rolled my eyes on blew it off. Okay, Mom, whatever, your over the counter quack pills aren't going to help. But I tried them (just to make her stop suggesting them 😆), and darned if they don't make a big, positive, difference! As in, I definitely notice if I forget to take the nighttime one, because I can't fall asleep. (That's the easiest symptom to notice a difference in immediately, but they help with all of them for me). They're worth a shot to see if they help you, too. They're Nature's Way, PeriMenopause Formula, AM/PM. 

Did you know the AM one has 50 mg of caffeine?  I guess that is less than a cup of coffee? 

[Sammish]

9 minutes ago, cintinative said:

Did you know the AM one has 50 mg of caffeine?  I guess that is less than a cup of coffee? 

I didn't, but I'm not avoiding caffeine, so I'm okay with it. But thanks for the heads up!

[BlsdMama]

Wow. And with this thread I finally realized I’m entering menopause. It never occurred to me that was my heavy and irregular periods the past 6-9 months. 🤦🏼‍♀️ 

[Noreen Claire]

I'm in the thick of it here too. I'm 47, and am on day 277 (and counting) since my last period. I did have the "oh my god I am bleeding to death" periods for several months last year. I have occasional hot flashes, occasional sleep issues, and have gained back 20 pounds. I have recently added in exercise each morning (a mix of cardio, strength, and mobility) and am trying to get a walk in the evenings as well, weather permitting.

I am really struggling with my mental health, though. Anxiety, panic, persistent unwanted thoughts, inability to focus, low self-esteem, and a general overwhelming feeling of 'blah'. I haven't been taking my vitamins, I keep forgetting. I'm hoping that were can get back into some regular routine soon and things will be easier to manage.

ETA: yes, I should talk about these things with my doctor. My next appt is January.

Edited August 10, 2021 by Noreen Claire

[cintinative]

55 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

Wow. And with this thread I finally realized I’m entering menopause. It never occurred to me that was my heavy and irregular periods the past 6-9 months. 🤦🏼‍♀️ 

From what I understand, perimenopause can last awhile. I have been having hot flashes for years. The 2x/month periods started in the last year. I did actually skip one cycle too.  So I might be within a couple of years of menopause.

From Cleveland Clinic : 

"Perimenopause or "menopause transition": Perimenopause can begin eight to 10 years before menopause, when the ovaries gradually produce less estrogen. It usually starts in a woman's 40s, but can start in the 30s as well"

Fun fact: my former gyn did not "believe in" perimenopause. So I would bring up issues and she never mentioned that this pre-step is a thing. 

[ScoutTN]

11 minutes ago, Noreen Claire said:

I'm in the thick of it here too. I'm 47, and am on day 277 (and counting) since my last period. I did have the "oh my god I am bleeding to death" periods for several months last year. I have occasional hot flashes, occasional sleep issues, and have gained back 20 pounds. I have recently added in exercise each morning (a mix of cardio, strength, and mobility) and am trying to get a walk in the evenings as well, weather permitting.

I am really struggling with my mental health, though. Anxiety, panic, persistent unwanted thoughts, inability to focus, low self-esteem, and a general overwhelming feeling of 'blah'. I haven't been taking my vitamins, I keep forgetting. I'm hoping that were can get back into some regular routine soon and things will be easier to manage.

ETA: yes, I should talk about these things with my doctor. My next appt is January.

Can you get a telehealth appt earlier?

[Noreen Claire]

31 minutes ago, ScoutTN said:

Can you get a telehealth appt earlier?

Sadly, my insurance no longer covers telehealth now that the state of emergency has ended.

I've struggled with anxiety for years, among other things. Every year I tell myself that I will bring it up at my physical, and every year I talk myself out of it. I feel like I'm doing okay enough, I should just suck it up and keep on. I feel embarrassed, and I'm afraid my doctor won't take me seriously. I'm not really helping myself...

Edited August 10, 2021 by Noreen Claire

[regentrude]

44 minutes ago, Noreen Claire said:

ETA: yes, I should talk about these things with my doctor. 

I have not found that to be helpful. 

[cintinative]

4 minutes ago, Noreen Claire said:

Sadly, my insurance no longer covers telehealth now that the state of emergency has ended.

I've struggled with anxiety for years, among other things. Every year I tell myself that I will bring it up at my physical, and every year I talk myself out of it. I feel like I'm doing okay enough, I should just suck it up and keep on. I feel embarrassed, and I'm afraid my doctor won't take me seriously. I'm not really helping myself...

Would you be comfortable talking with your gyn about it?  That is who I ended up talking to.  

Otherwise, sometimes I am bolder online or over the phone than in person, so writing something up and handing it to the doctor, or calling and talking to the nurse ahead of the appointment (these are some things I want to discuss, but I am nervous I will fail to mention them . . .).  

I might not need to say this, but I will anyway: please don't feel embarrassed. It's never bad to self-advocate about very real struggles you are having. There is no shame in needing help. I really hope this forum is a safe space for you in that way. I think it's safe to say that many of us have experienced some real dark places. I hope you know that you are not alone, and that what you are experiencing does not mean you are less worthy to be valued, cherished, and supported.

[Noreen Claire]

40 minutes ago, cintinative said:

Would you be comfortable talking with your gyn about it?  That is who I ended up talking to

I had planned to bring it up with my (beloved, wonderful) midwife last week but, when I showed up, I found out she had retired and I had my appt with someone new. 😩

 

42 minutes ago, cintinative said:

I might not need to say this, but I will anyway: please don't feel embarrassed. It's never bad to self-advocate about very real struggles you are having. There is no shame in needing help. I really hope this forum is a safe space for you in that way. I think it's safe to say that many of us have experienced some real dark places. I hope you know that you are not alone, and that what you are experiencing does not mean you are less worthy to be valued, cherished, and supported.

Thank you for this.  😭

[BlsdMama]

@cintinative -I noticed you emoji'd my post sad  - def. don't! This (reading the thread) made my week and possibly my whole year. This disease is bad enough (needing help with toileting/showering) that periods only made it worse.  I need very little help currently, but imagining DH dealing with it too was really hard on me emotionally.  The idea that I could be at the beginning of the end? Can't help but sing, "Ding dong, the witch is dead!" 

I'm not saying that I hated my period, hence eternal breastfeeding and pregnancy... but it sure was a perk.

[Shoeless]

I ended up trying CBD gummies for anxiety  because I didn't like the options presented by my doctor.  I didn't feel like I was being taken seriously, so I went rogue and decided to try the gummies. They are working far better than I expected. 

 

[AngelaR]

I am 47;  at 43, I began having the most horrendous anxiety ever!  I keep it at bay now with a “cocktail” of Prozac (for pre-peri menopausal mental health issues), Buspar (for the anxiety attacks), bioactive forms of B12, B6, and Folate, and the mini-pill (progesterone only, since I’m at risk of strokes with estrogen).  They all work quite well together, but if I forget or run out of one of them, my anxiety skyrockets again. The mini-pill helps with sleep issues and night sweats for me. Hope you find what works for you.   

Edited August 10, 2021 by AngelaR

[hshibley]

On 8/9/2021 at 7:08 PM, regentrude said:

My worst peri symptoms are mental health related. I have tried any number of supplements without effect. Topical progesterone made things so bad that I will never touch the stuff again.

The only thing that helped me was intense exercise outdoors. As in: hours of farm work in the sun, intense hikes, strenuous kayaking trips. That level of outdoor exercise required a reevaluation of my entire daily schedule and is hard to fit around a normal job. Thankfully mine is somewhat flexible, and I am pushing as much work as possible to rainy days and darkness. 

ETA: For the insomnia, my solution was to give up the fight and just get up, putter around the house for a couple of hours, and then go back to bed.

The same for me. I think most women our age underestimate the amount of heavy exercise we need.  I run 30+ sweat dripping miles a week, weight lift, yoga and do some heavy yard work. It really helps. I was visiting family recently and only ran 18 miles that week my anxiety was noticeably worse as was my sleep patterns. 
 

Also sometimes I think we need to embrace the “suck”  - sleep issues, anxiety etc. I try to remember that these times will pass and grant myself the grace to not always be at my best. 
 

Try adding some extra heavy work and see if it helps ie push mow the yard, long runs if that’s your thing, bike your errands etc. 

[fairfarmhand]

1 minute ago, hshibley said:

The same for me. I think most women our age underestimate the amount of heavy exercise we need.  I run 30+ sweat dripping miles a week, weight lift, yoga and do some heavy yard work. It really helps. I was visiting family recently and only ran 18 miles that week my anxiety was noticeably worse as was my sleep patterns. 
 

Also sometimes I think we need to embrace the “suck”  - sleep issues, anxiety etc. I try to remember that these times will pass and grant myself the grace to not always be at my best. 
 

Try adding some extra heavy work and see if it helps ie push mow the yard, long runs if that’s your thing, bike your errands etc. 

yeah, I do so much better in the warm months that in the cold ones. Just having grass to cut and yard work to do makes a huge difference. Which is annoying because at 41, I have lower energy levels and less tolerance for heat. It’s almost a tightrope walk. Just enough work to wear me out but not put me on the couch for the whole evening, just enough hot and sweaty stuff to make me sleep well but not get heat exhaustion.