How to avoid an emotional downturn?

[battlemaiden]

Say you feel yourself headed for an emotional low. Say your brain knows perfectly well it is due to temporary circumstances (sleep deprivation etc.), illogical, and you want to avoid a tailspin...how do you do it?

 

I'm just asking....

 

:blush:

 

btw-my hypothetical scenario assumes this person is far from needing medical intervention. Just minor, annoying, over-emotionality.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Chocolate. Gooey dark chocolate - preferably eaten while in the bathtub! Or rent some dvd/videos for the kids to watch and get a totally fluff book of your choice to read. I find that immersing myself in a fantasy world helps.

[Garga]

A movie that will make me laugh. An engrossing book. Talking to an upbeat person on the phone. Taking a nap! Cleaning out something that needs to be cleaned out. A little physical activity (walk, treadmill) just for a few minutes. Any of those things.

 

Oh! And my secret one: putting on headphones, hiding from the kids and dancing to music. I'm a bad dancer. (Think: Elaine on Seinfeld. It's bad. No, it's horrible. I would be mortified if anyone ever saw me.) But it's fun if no one is watching! (Even myself. No mirror. I embarrass myself when I dance.)

[LaxMom]

Um, well... after three years of not sleeping more than 2 consecutive hours, I had a complete, tantrum throwing, meltdown. Sleep deprivation... brrrrrr. :eek:

 

Seriously. Address the sleep deprivation. Otherwise, it's hard to keep yourself out of the tailspin, no matter how crazy and illogical you know it is, and no matter how minor the other stuff is. You just can't process normally and, if you're me anyway, you can only consciously override that for so long before the crazy sets in.

 

Is it waking or sleeplessness that's cutting into your sleep, or waking with children or...?

 

ETA: Oh, yeah. You have a newborn and a deployed husband? Yeah, hire (bribe, cajole, kidnap) someone to come over so you can nap. Really. You don't want the crazy to set in.

Edited November 16, 2008 by MyCrazyHouse

[LaxMom]

(Think: Elaine on Seinfeld. It's bad. No, it's horrible. I would be mortified if anyone ever saw me.) But it's fun if no one is watching! (Even myself. No mirror. I embarrass myself when I dance.)

Hey! I dance like Elaine, but worse. I can't even manage "amusingly eccentric". We may need a support group.

[Once]

Chocolate, OmegaBrite and sleep, in large quantities.

[battlemaiden]

Um, well... after three years of not sleeping more than 2 consecutive hours, I had a complete, tantrum throwing, meltdown. Sleep deprivation... brrrrrr. :eek:

 

Seriously. Address the sleep deprivation. Otherwise, it's hard to keep yourself out of the tailspin, no matter how crazy and illogical you know it is, and no matter how minor the other stuff is. You just can't process normally and, if you're me anyway, you can only consciously override that for so long before the crazy sets in.

 

Is it waking or sleeplessness that's cutting into your sleep, or waking with children or...?

 

ETA: Oh, yeah. You have a newborn and a deployed husband? Yeah, hire (bribe, cajole, kidnap) someone to come over so you can nap. Really. You don't want the crazy to set in.

 

The sleep deprivation has more to do with having sick, cranky, needy kids. Add the baby having a growth spurt and we have a worn out, sad, little specimen of a mom. The kids are well now, the dirty laundry pile is huge, the house is a wreck (add that to the stress level), and we have the perfect storm of emotional drain. I know all will be well, but they aren't now, and blowing things out of proportion.

 

Off to search the kids halloween bags for dark chocolate.....

[Starr]

I usually go right for the migraine...

[klmama]

Sleep! Put on a video for the dc and take a nap.

 

If that isn't possible, eat a lot to keep up your energy (and worry about the excess weight later when you can).

 

Dance to some music you really love. If you can't do that, at least listen to music you really love!

[Aggie]

I would hire help. Really. Someone to clean the house or do the laundry or watch the dc while you clean and wash clothes.

 

Determine the 3 things that cause you the most stress and hire help. :001_smile:

 

And don't feel guilty about it, either.

[laurad1125]

I write in my journal. Almost always, when I'm feeling out of whack, writing about it helps me sort it out and ... bring myself back to reality - especially if it's something temporary that will resolve with time. I tend to think how I feel right now is how I will always feel. Once upon a time, my therapist told me that writing causes different brain activity patterns than thinking or speaking them... Don't know if it would work for you, but might be worth a try.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

www.tapping.com being outside (sunshine) tanning booth if sunshine not available and reading a book that is engrossing.

[Anne]

I agree with Aggie - get some help!! My dh traveled extensively when our dc were small - nothing like your situation with dh being deployed for months - but enough to give me a small insight into your situation.

 

Get help. Make it regular. Don't feel guilty. It's necessary!!

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Anne

[joannqn]

Chocolate. Gooey dark chocolate - preferably eaten while in the bathtub! Or rent some dvd/videos for the kids to watch and get a totally fluff book of your choice to read. I find that immersing myself in a fantasy world helps.

 

These would make it worse for me so I avoid them unless I'm in a good place.

 

I've struggled with chronic depression my whole life and finally got it under control about six years ago. I feel myself slipping and start to panic because I don't want to go there again. It was B-A-D! I nearly lost my children as my counselor struggled with whether or not to call CPS (I didn't know about it until late) and I was planning the details of my suicide. See why I panic?

 

Anyway, what works for me...

 

Call one of my friends that I know helps me feel better. I know which ones to call and which ones to avoid.

 

Take a shower, get dressed in something that makes me feel pretty, pluck my eyebrows, and put on make up. Nothing makes me feel better like nicely shaped eyebrows. Weird, I know.

 

Ask for help. When I was recovering from my late miscarriage in September, one friend came over to wash my dishes one day and another friend washed them two other days. Then, when I was able to spend the day out, the second friend helped me take the kids to the Fair so I wouldn't be overwhelmed with three kids alone.

 

Go to my support group. I attend a 12 step group for Adult Children of Alcoholics every Monday. It keeps me sane and prevents me from getting depressed again. We also have an agreement that if I ever slip too low, they will tell me to go to the doctor for help (they'd actually come with me to watch the kids in the waiting room for me) and I won't argue with them. Once I told them I thought it was time to get help and they told me I was fine. They were right.

 

Clean something. Get an area or a room looking nice and then sit and enjoy how it looks.

 

Drop everything and go somewhere fun. When I get back, make a concerted effort to get the most important things done and not stress the rest.

 

Go for a walk or dance.

 

I have used each of these things over the past six years. They work. Sometimes one works more than the other at that time.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Get a little fresh air and exercise. Get out of the house.

 

As crazy as it sounds--try to limit late day/evening caffine for a few days and feed everyone dinner on time and into bed with all the kids (baby too) and then do something that relaxes you (read, watch a movie...) and then get to bed waking only to feed baby.

 

If the house feels crazy hire help or tackle one project at a time. IE: Laundry first, then beds, then dishes, etc. Maybe only one project or one room a day but you will get there. Or-hire a babysitter to take the kids to a park or library or movie...A few hours alone or with the just the baby! Maybe do this more than once-nap and relax sometimes and other times get a few things done or do something for yourself (go shopping, wander the bookstore/library, catch the latest movie, visit a friend, pursue a hobby, hit the gym).

 

Delegate to the older kids, can they make their own breakfast or lunch for a bit? Fix PBJ for the other kids?

 

(Deployment + Kids+House) X Newborn=worn out mom

 

Sending much empathy and sweet dreams your way!

[Dani n Monies Mom]

I usually go right for the migraine...

 

UGH! Me too!!!:sad:

[Peela]

Sleep. Get dh to take over the kids, have them eat cereal for dinner, go to room, and rest.

If I am too wired to rest- take magnesium go for a walk, have a bath, whatever.

I find when I am caught up on rest, the housework virtually does itself.

[TXMomof4]

Say you feel yourself headed for an emotional low. Say your brain knows perfectly well it is due to temporary circumstances (sleep deprivation etc.), illogical, and you want to avoid a tailspin...how do you do it?

 

 

 

If the hypothetical person can find someone to take the kids, do that. Then take a bath, read a book, eat something super yummy that you can't afford with the kids around.

 

If you can't get someone to take the kids, go to a beautiful park, let the kids run like mad and you bask in the sunshine. Better yet, go with friends so the kids aren't bored playing with each other and you have someone to talk with and laugh with.

[Lovedtodeath]

When my foot was broken, my 11 year old niece cooked every meal for me and the family... and she had to avoid several food allergies. Maybe the kids should be helping more?

[battlemaiden]

When my foot was broken, my 11 year old niece cooked every meal for me and the family... and she had to avoid several food allergies. Maybe the kids should be helping more?

 

Oh dear, I must give my kids the credit they deserve. They have been troopers. The children that didn't get sick have stepped up and helped tremendously. They are super!

 

I am normally a very cheerful person. I don't struggle with depression. But when all the variables are working against me- did I mention it has been rainy off and on for three days...in Hawaii?- then I start to get worn down.

 

I'm also a bit of a freak about my living environment. I want it to look inviting and lived in, but in a everything-in-its-place sort of way. I have had to let some things go when the kids were at their worse, which of course was the right decision, but now I struggle looking around me and recovering my peaceful atmosphere.

 

Truly, truly I know everything will be fine. I do have a maid coming later in the week. My dh insisted on this last time I spoke to him when he was in port. I hesistated at first, but now I know how important it is. Now if I could only prevent myself from getting stressed out because of the need to get the house all cleaned up for the maid! ;) I'm a dork.

 

 

Thanks again everyone. Things look better after sunrise.

Jo

[Lovedtodeath]

Now if I could only prevent myself from getting stressed out because of the need to get the house all cleaned up for the maid! ;) I'm a dork.

 

LOL! Your DH had the right idea! Help is needed. You are amazing. :grouphug:I struggle so much with just my two.

[Renee in NC]

I just keep telling myself that I don't have the luxury of falling apart. I told my dh this on Saturday - that he can't fall apart because I can't do this without him!

[Tammyla]

Honestly, I'd work on one room for 15 minutes to a half hour and throw in a load of laundry. Then as a reward, I'd plop myself down with a cup of something wonderful and a snack to read or rest a while. When I can't get out or away having a comfy, clean spot where I can put my feet up helps me re-energize a bit. Chocolate is always welcome. Rinse and repeat.

 

I know your hubby is gone and the likely hood of finding a good sitter isn't always doable. Don't go cleaning crazy getting ready for the cleaning lady either. Tidy and make a good list for her if you don't have one. I've been know to hire a teen to keep the kids watched and go wild cleaning. Now that mine are older they help, and I've been know to pay well for pitching in.

 

Get the laundry out of sight and just do it a load or two at a time. It's never completely done anyway. You know, people just keep making more. Sometimes making a list and checking it off helps me see how much is getting done and provides a sense of accomplishment.

 

Eating well taking vitamins and the occasional cup caffeine has helped me through many a long spell. ( I also love having a book I love to read on hand for the longer days and getting out for a walk is always wonderful.)

 

Sending hugs and lots of virtual dark chocolate.:grouphug:

[jenniferlee]

I'll second the suggestion on hiring some help - just getting on top of the house and the laundry does wonders for my emotional state.

Jen

[Remudamom]

Give yourself a kick in the butt and don't let it take hold. Bring your thoughts under control. Get some sunshine.

Just don't go there.

[Tokyomarie]

I'm also a bit of a freak about my living environment. I want it to look inviting and lived in, but in a everything-in-its-place sort of way. I have had to let some things go when the kids were at their worse, which of course was the right decision, but now I struggle looking around me and recovering my peaceful atmosphere.

 

Truly, truly I know everything will be fine. I do have a maid coming later in the week. My dh insisted on this last time I spoke to him when he was in port. I hesistated at first, but now I know how important it is. Now if I could only prevent myself from getting stressed out because of the need to get the house all cleaned up for the maid! ;) I'm a dork.

 

Jo

 

I find that letting the house &/or laundry get beyond the lovingly lived-in look creates a *lot* of stress for me. At one point earlier in my life, I finally realized that if I STOP life and do whatever it takes to get that house back in reasonable order, life starts looking up again. I have had domestic help at different times in my life for different reasons, but when I have just had a new baby, was sick, and/or had an unavailable husband, I have found that getting SOMEONE ELSE to help me put my house in order- by hook-or-by-crook, paid or volunteer, was the only way to get me beyond the just starting to tailspin phase.

 

At the same time, also putting enough of a STOP to life that I can get a nap or a better night's sleep does incredible wonders. In the days when I had babies and small children, if that meant bringing someone in to watch children while I napped, or just simplifying life for a few days to make space for sleep, made a huge difference in my outlook on life.

 

I also forced myself to get outside for walks. The exercise and fresh air does wonders.

 

Vitamin B-12 and magnesium are the supplements I use most to help me keep emotions on an even keel. If I slide away from my supplement routine, these are the two I reach for first to bring me back to healthy function.

 

Wishing you blessings for your week!

[battlemaiden]

 

I also forced myself to get outside for walks. The exercise and fresh air does wonders.

 

Vitamin B-12 and magnesium are the supplements I use most to help me keep emotions on an even keel. If I slide away from my supplement routine, these are the two I reach for first to bring me back to healthy function.

 

 

Thank you for the supplement suggestions. I was wondering if I could take a little booster along with my pre-natal vitamin. I have both B-12 and magnesium in the cupboard.

 

I'm also going to try and get out for walks now that my oldest is healthy again to watch the littles.

 

I appreciate yours, and everyone else's advice. I'm not above the water line just yet, but I think I'm wearing the appropriate life vest now to ride out the storm. :D

 

Jo

[Lovedtodeath]

I find that letting the house &/or laundry get beyond the lovingly lived-in look creates a *lot* of stress for me. At one point earlier in my life, I finally realized that if I STOP life and do whatever it takes to get that house back in reasonable order, life starts looking up again. I have had domestic help at different times in my life for different reasons, but when I have just had a new baby, was sick, and/or had an unavailable husband, I have found that getting SOMEONE ELSE to help me put my house in order- by hook-or-by-crook, paid or volunteer, was the only way to get me beyond the just starting to tailspin phase.

 

At the same time, also putting enough of a STOP to life that I can get a nap or a better night's sleep does incredible wonders. In the days when I had babies and small children, if that meant bringing someone in to watch children while I napped, or just simplifying life for a few days to make space for sleep, made a huge difference in my outlook on life.

 

I also forced myself to get outside for walks. The exercise and fresh air does wonders.

 

Vitamin B-12 and magnesium are the supplements I use most to help me keep emotions on an even keel. If I slide away from my supplement routine, these are the two I reach for first to bring me back to healthy function.

 

Wishing you blessings for your week!

 

Great suggestions! And I am very guilty of sliding away from my supplement routine. If it was a prescription I wouldn't do it so why why why do I let it get bad. I don't know. I need a kick in the pants. Remudamom?:lol: