How Much Should a Teen Put Up With For A Job

[heartlikealion]

Can she report this behavior to upper management? They might be very interested to know how their employees are being treated, especially if they are having trouble keeping any.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I agree with Tap: if dd is not a strong personality and/or you're worried about how they'll treat her while she's quitting, go with her.

[zoobie]

She should have quit the second week. Run away!

 

I would NOT give two weeks' notice. No way in hell. She owes them NOTHING. She could mail/fax the letter resigning to the big boss and never return. Do not let her go alone.

Edited July 24, 2017 by zoobie

[teachermom2834]

I am a big fan of kids working, learning to deal with all kinds of people, work under pressure, handle criticism, all that. But, I am also big on knowing when to pack it in.

 

I love my kids working but I also remind them "hey- this is a kid job, not a means of survival. Adults quit jobs all the time for all kinds of reasons. You don't owe these people anything."

 

It can be hard to strike a balance when you are trying to help them grow in responsibility. But this is a clear case of get the heck out of there.

[Tammi K]

I would never encourage anyone to allow themselves to be treated so disrespectfully.  If it is a manager treating her this way, I think she needs to talk to someone a step higher up the food chain. And, if this is the owner, I think she should find another place to work.

[LucyStoner]

It sounds like they have inadequate training procedures and documentation in place.  This is not uncommon in small businesses or really any business that is run poorly.  

The owners sounds like abusive jackasses and personally, I would leave and never come back.  I'd also give them a brutally honest rating on glassdoor or other employer rating site.  

[nixpix5]

Oh my goodness. If it all went down like this then that is an abusive job that will give her a false sense of how employers should treat their employees. I would first ask her what she wants to do. If she doesn't want to stay I would have her give her notice. If she doesn't think she can hold out for the 1 or 2 week notice then I would let my child quit. Poor kid, that is awful.

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited August 14, 2017 by lllll

[Danestress]

I would want my daughter to know I support her if she chooses to leave. I would talk to her about the incidents, help her identify what is happening and name it (for example, to recognize - what verbal abuse is), and support her in any way she needs.

 

But it would be her decision. I would want her to know I think she has everything it takes to handle this, make a good decision, and deal with the results. I have resented being told to quit things when there are difficulties. But I do think that in this situation, quitting seems like the right choice, and I would tell her that. I would just want her to come to the decision herself. I would want her believe in her own worth, do want is right for her, and believe in her own ability to navigate this.

[gardenmom5]

The above is what I would do.  And I wonder if there's a way to force them to sign for the letter.  Registered mail maybe?  Just to further document what she DID and did NOT do.  Because you know they're going to lie about everything.  Also, maybe keep a file on the whole thing with all the documentation for future reference, including printouts of stuff you find about the place on the internet.  

 

What have her fellow employees said about the place?  That might be interesting to record ....

 

this.

if she has filed a w-2 (which she should have done if the place is legit), there are gov't records of her employment there.  that information can be looked up. not what happened, but that she worked there from A - B.   most future jobs, it's not a big deal. however, if she is ever in a job requiring a security clearance (there more than you think) - she will have to disclose it. when doing those clearances they care far more about hiding something than if you're upfront with "i quit _ job because the owner was abusive."

dd had one former manager lie about why she left - and it nearly cost her a security clearance - and her job.  the FBI agent doing the background check gave her the chance (supposedly not common) to explain the discrepancy.   we were ready to call in a friend whose specialty is employment law to go after the former manager - it was that big of a deal.

[goldberry]

Just to answer a few questions... this is a small place, the owner is the problem person, so no one to go "above".

 

Also, DD has been all along defending herself pretty well, asking for specifics, examples, explaining why things were done a certain way, etc.  She's not a pushover girl, she knows how to speak for herself, and often gets comments about being "well-spoken".  She is a good communicator.   Until yesterday, when the boss said that "awful worker" thing, I asked her how she responded. She said she just walked away, because she was too tired of it to say anything else.  That's part of what made me decide it was time for her to get out of there.

 

She did want to quit earlier, I was the one encouraging her to stay.  So I told her that I was changing my recommendation and she said she is definitely quitting then.  

 

She is going in this morning with a resignation letter that details the reasons she is leaving.  I am going to advise her to have her phone recording though.

 

Thanks everyone! 

Edited July 25, 2017 by goldberry

[TravelingChris]

Op, I don't know what state you are in,  But before you record anyone, make sure you are not in a 2 party consent state. .  "Eleven states require the consent of every party to a phone call or conversation in order to make the recording lawful. These "two-party consent" laws have been adopted in California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Washington" from www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations

[SKL]

Sounds like the boss has mental problems.

 

I think it's up to the teen whether to stay or not.  There are pros and cons, which she can weigh for herself.  I would obviously support her if she decided to quit.  Just make sure she knows it's not her issue, but the boss's issue.

[Bluegoat]

If it bothers her she should leave.  It's totally inappropriate, but if she didn't care I wouldn't maker her go - I wouldn't stay, myself.

[Scarlett]

Ugh, I am late to this party but I totally agree with her quitting.  

 

I had a job like that when I was about 19.  I lasted about 3 weeks.  The owner was just a total jerk to me every. single. day.  It was a construction company and he was expecting me to learn how to talk on the radio to all these construction workers and dispatch them to do jobs....I didn't know any of the terminology or anything!  And then he handed me this big gigantic ring of keys---literally about 100 keys on it---and told me to find the 'dump truck key' and give it to so and so.  I just looked at the ring of keys and looked at him blankley and he was rude to me....and I looked up at him and said, 'you know what?  I don't have to take being talked to like this.'  And he said, 'well, I think we need to part ways.'  I practically skipped out of that place.  

 

I have never since had such an experience.  

[StephanieZ]

Run, don't walk, away.

 

Return any keys/uniforms/other property, and give a written note, saying, "I resign, effective immediately. Please send my final paycheck to me at address x/y/z."

 

Stay far, far, far away.

[Guest]

I have always been of the mind that my dc should stick out a first job (or any job for that matter) for at least six months or a year. However, I actually gave one ds permission to quit his first job after 3 months.

 

His manager was nasty, nasty, and more nasty. My ds tried and tried to make it work, but I could see the toll the unrelenting emotional and verbal abuse was taking on him. She even tried to cheat him financially, and he had to stand up to her to get the back pay. I was really proud of how he handled himself through the whole thing. He's looking for something else now, and I'm hoping for a good manager.

 

ETA When the back pay finally showed up in a check, I didn't even have him give 2-weeks notice; he just called and quit right then and there.

Edited July 25, 2017 by Fifiruth

[solascriptura]

That's abuse. I would not put up with it , nor would I tell my child to put up with it.

[Southern Ivy]

Any updates?