How many weekend days is your family away from home?

[displace]

I'm trying to be more realistic about the amount of days in a week, and the time I spend doing things I need to do vs. want to do.  We tend to do fun things as a family on the weekends, probably at the expense of doing things that need to be done.  It may be simple, like the museum or a kid jump place, a visit to a farm, or weekends away.  And we also have vacations too.  I guess we used to spend about 30-40 days away from home last year, but I think it's decreasing now.  

 

Lately I've stopped most weekends away, just because I get a day notice that DH wants to do something, and I'm not up for intense-last-minute-planning anymore.  It's too stressful for me.  

 

Including vacations, how many weekend days is your family away from home?  I think take a wild guess, and count anything that prevents you from doing other things that need to be done (like errands, cleaning, organizing, etc).   

[regentrude]

When the kids were younger, we spent one day each weekend hiking as a family. Adding some trips, it easily added to 51+ days.

Now with empty nest, DH and I still try to hike every weekend, and we are also gone for trips. Going to see DD at college for example takes 2 days. We often go rock climbing for a weekend, which takes up both days. So, 60+ weekend days at least.

 

That's what weekends are for. Its not like we can do this during the work week. The things that need to get done can get done during the week, with the exception of very rare time consuming projects that would require a full day or weekend. But those are rare, once or twice a year perhaps.

Edited July 18, 2017 by regentrude

[Daria]

i work outside the home Saturdays and Sundays, although fewer hours than I work M - F, and we visit my mother almost every Sunday.  Generally, I'll only cancel all my appointments on a Saturday or Sunday if there's someplace else I'm going.  For example, I recently took an entire weekend off so I could attend a graduation.  

 

So, I'll vote for 104 days?  

[Arcadia]

Every weekend. I don't drive so we go to places that are harder to go to on public transport during the weekends. For example my husband wanted to go to Chinatown last weekend, driving to San Francisco would be 40 mins off peak on a weekend but more than 2hrs by public transport.

 

For the local beaches, it would be very hard by public transport even with us willing to walk.

[Guest]

I wish we could go more, but we are pretty tied down here. And with dh's work, weekends are when the work on the property has to get done. Especially in the mornings during the summer, when it's at least somewhat tolerable outside. I did schedule the kids activities for the fall though on a Saturday morning. We will have to divide and conquer, but they're at the same time and then everything's done. I'm hoping that frees us up  more during the week to get more done so we can actually have more leisure time on the weekends. I miss being able to cut and go on the weekends like we did before we bought this place, but overall it's worth it for what we get to enjoy everyday versus the few weekends a year of traveling we miss out on. 

[displace]

I guess I feel I should be productive on the weekends. Maybe I should shift my mindset? During the week with our school, afterschool activities, and DH working so many hours I dislike doing regular errands during the week. And I need time to prep for the week too. But maybe I should be doing more during the week to have more free time to play on the weekends? Hmmm... I need to think about it.

 

Then again, we're all different and maybe I shouldn't judge myself based on anyone else's schedule. I probably should have more patience with myself and my limitations too.

Edited July 18, 2017 by displace

[Arcadia]

And I need time to prep for the week too. But maybe I should be doing more during the week to have more free time to play on the weekends?

Your son's curriculum is lots more prep heavy than my kids curriculum so it's not apples to apples already. Also my kids are at German school every Saturday morning during term time. That gives my husband and I time to run errands and just have couple time. We also do our main grocery run on the way home on weekends. My nearest supermarket is just across the street and is open round the clock so I don't even need to worry about running low on groceries or toilet paper/laundry detergent. Different circumstances.

[marbel]

I guess I feel I should be productive on the weekends. Maybe I should shift my mindset? During the week with our school, afterschool activities, and DH working so many hours I dislike doing regular errands during the week. And I need time to prep for the week too. But maybe I should be doing more during the week to have more free time to play on the weekends? Hmmm... I need to think about it.

 

Then again, we're all different and maybe I shouldn't judge myself based on anyone else's schedule. I probably should have more patience with myself and my limitations too.

 

Do you feel you can cram more into the week in order to have more free time to play on the weekends?   Or are you at capacity during the week?   What if you were productive part of the weekend, and planned something fun for part?   Or planned on 1-2 weekends a month for play, and the rest for work-related stuff?

 

In our case it changes as our family life changes.  When we had a large property that needed a lot of maintenance, we stayed home more. On the other hand, it was a fun large property so it wasn't really a burden.  

 

For our family right now, I think the right balance would be 2 weekends per month for play, 2 for being productive around the house.  It works out to be less than that in reality. Sometimes I will block out a Saturday on the family calendar and say "don't schedule over this."  If I'm lucky, nothing will come up and we'll go for a hike or something.  

 

I think it's fine to ask people what they do, just for reference and ideas, but don't get caught up with someone else's standard.  All our lives and jobs are different.  There isn't a right way to do it.   

[Loowit]

Too many.  We have something going most weekends where we are out and about.  I wish we did more outings and at home time as a family, but often it is a scouting or church related event. 

[Carrie12345]

Not a whole lot. I like to split my weekends between being lazy and doing bigger house projects.

[Rachel]

We stay home on weekends as much as possible as my husband travels a lot for work. This year I have been going backpacking once a month and he visits his parents when I'm gone. This year we travelled more than normal too which encompassed three weekends in June. I usually go on a girls weekend and a retreat for church too.

 

We attempt to run errands during the week so we can be home on the weekends.

[Annie G]

We try to have weekends made of one work day and one play day, though the play day is very often just half a day.  

[Zinnia]

It is always a balance here, and we really feel it when it gets off for some reason.

 

For the past few years, we've done spring and fall little league sports.  I have 3 kids on 3 teams (different ages), and that can make a long Saturday at the ball field during those seasons.  

We try to camp one weekend in spring, one in fall, a vacation in the summer.  We go visit dh's elderly parents about 4 times a year (it's a distance that requires an overnight, so both weekend days).  We go visit my parents for the day about 5 weekend days (though we go more frequently during the week).  

 

Even though in my circles, it would not be cool to admit it, I really love to shop.  Before kids, it was a major form of entertainment, and even after kids, pre-homeschooling, we did a lot of it.  It's the one thing that I've had to cut down the most with homeschooling, and I miss it.  But being home is more important, so I've changed our lifestyle to account for it.  I do Kroger's clicklist, I reserve at the library online, I rarely thrift, I rarely hit a garage sale, and I spend more on kids clothing/shoes/goods because of it.  But the time it has bought me in this season is worth it.  I don't love it, but I love the family life it gives.

[displace]

I'm surprised how split the votes are. I think I tend to have strange patterns that throw me off instead of planning better. It seems we're gone many weekends in a month and then I have to recover for a while. I think if I plan more evenly it wouldn't be so burdensome.

 

I could probably be somewhat more efficient during the workweek, but I also have some medical conditions that cause me fatigue or sick days randomly. When they occur I may lose 1/2 a day to a few days in a row.

 

So, probably I should plan better for fun weekend days, be more efficient during the week when possible, and postpone weekend stuff when I've been ill.

 

I'm kind of jealous of everyone getting all their stuff done during the week, though 😆

[luuknam]

Not a clue. 

[Guest]

It's not that many days, even with owning a beach cottage. We go to the beach house for the main summer holidays and we usually take one or two other vacations per year (generally a "beach" trip and a "snow" trip). We get to the beach house another few weekends if we can work it out. But we don't have any regularly-ocurring day trips like amusement parks, museums, parks, etc. I most often do those things with other homeschoolers.

 

Eta: Adding: there is always a lot of maintenance stuff that has to happen and TBH, I kind of enjoy that more than going out. I really have anxiety if we are gone too much and stuff gets backed up at home.

Edited July 19, 2017 by Quill

[Gentlemommy]

Almost every weekend, we are gone at least one day. We have sundayfunday with our best friends-at the lake or pool, or just at each others houses. We travel a lot, last year we went out of town about 8 times. Then there are gymnastics meets. We probably have a full weekend at home only a handful of times per year.

[lavender's green]

We try to get out one weekend day, every other weekend or so. It's easy to get cooped up at home during the week, because I have an aspie, a runner, and a baby. If I don't keep a very tight reign on them, they may well all go off in different directions, and I don't always feel up to that level of watchfulness on my own. On the weekend, with DH to help? Heck yes, pack those kids in the van and let's have an adventure, baby!

[fairfarmhand]

With my life the way it is, with farming and having busy kids, I try to operate under the perameters that working moms operate under. Meaning that if I take a weekend off, I have to plan ahead of time and get caught up on stuff.

 

 

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[Guest]

We try to have weekends made of one work day and one play day, though the play day is very often just half a day.

That's kind of our ideal too. We have missed the mark on that by getting too busy and some seasons of life it doesn't work well, but we strive for it.

[lovinmyboys]

I *try* to plan my life around the things I want to do, and work in the things that need to be done. So, in general, I try to make our weekends more fun than work. If we have a lot of work to do, I'll still try to plan something fun. I don't want our weekends to revolve around errands and housework. I try to spend Thursday evenings planning and preparing for the next week.

[Daria]

I'm wondering if I read the original post wrong.  

 

I though that we were being asked how often we leave our homes on the weekend, in which case the answer for me would be every weekend, and pretty much both days every weekend.

 

But now, I'm reading other people talking about "fun", and I'm wondering if it means leaving home to do something specifically fun.

 

Do things like working, attending church, going to the grocery store, taking your kid to a soccer game, or visiting elderly relatives count in this?  

 

Because if you're asking how often we do something specifically for fun on the weekend, then I have to change my vote.

 

And if those things do count, then I'd love to know how people manage to go 42 weekends a year without needing to leave home. 

[Moonhawk]

Days we are away from home, because of obligations (birthdays, tournaments, recitals, helping someone move, visiting relatives, etc): 31-40

Days we are away from home, because I want it: 0-10

 

It feels like I am constantly trying to have a full weekend at home to do fun stuff and relax, but am always being thwarted. I voted the 0-10.

[SKL]

I might be underestimating, but I put 20 or less.  We take 2 vacations and usually go somewhere for birthdays and a few other things.  But I work 7 days most weeks, so we are usually home at least part of the day.

 

We do go out and do stuff - the kids' sports and other outings - from the home base.  Sometimes the kids spend a weekend with a relative away from home, but I didn't count that since I myself would be home working at such times.

[displace]

We try to get out one weekend day, every other weekend or so. It's easy to get cooped up at home during the week, because I have an aspie, a runner, and a baby. If I don't keep a very tight reign on them, they may well all go off in different directions, and I don't always feel up to that level of watchfulness on my own. On the weekend, with DH to help? Heck yes, pack those kids in the van and let's have an adventure, baby!

Maybe this is a holdup for me too. DH may try to help but really I'm the one still doing everything even on adventures away. So I'm still at a high level of work, probably making it harder for me.

[displace]

With my life the way it is, with farming and having busy kids, I try to operate under the perameters that working moms operate under. Meaning that if I take a weekend off, I have to plan ahead of time and get caught up on stuff.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes! It's like the weekend chores don't do themselves! :). I think planning ahead is a great idea.

[displace]

I'm wondering if I read the original post wrong.

 

I though that we were being asked how often we leave our homes on the weekend, in which case the answer for me would be every weekend, and pretty much both days every weekend.

 

But now, I'm reading other people talking about "fun", and I'm wondering if it means leaving home to do something specifically fun.

 

Do things like working, attending church, going to the grocery store, taking your kid to a soccer game, or visiting elderly relatives count in this?

 

Because if you're asking how often we do something specifically for fun on the weekend, then I have to change my vote.

 

And if those things do count, then I'd love to know how people manage to go 42 weekends a year without needing to leave home.

I originally was thinking of things a family may choose to do besides stay home and do home "work" - loosely defined as errands, cooking, cleaning, organizing, planning, schooling, renovations, landscaping, etc? I think of sports in this category, and visiting family. Work is not family oriented but it can keep you from doing house chores. You can vote however :)

 

My own mind is all over the place with this and I'm having trouble communicating what I mean well.

Edited July 19, 2017 by displace

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Lately, we have been doing one day out of the two out and aobut- either a hike, museum, picnic, etc.  So, Saturdays we are home and/or running errands, Sunday we are doing a family activity.  This is significantly reduced during the winter.  We don't do any weekends away where we spend the night anywhere.  

 

Our vacations are truly far away geographically, so when we leave for a month's vacation, there are not any chores piling up at home.  I try to leave with the house clean and laundry baskets empty.  

 

There was a link to a comic strip floating around here lately about the mental load women have vs. men.  I found it to be extremely helpful in understanding why I was struggling to even want to go out on Sundays as a family.  When DH says, "Let's do a hike Sunday!", it's like he has no grasp of the mental load that puts on me:  picnic errands and food prep, do the kids have clean hiking clothes, what emergency supplies need to be packed, does everyone still have their sun hats on, when was the last time sunscreen was on, if we hike to place x will we be back for the train at time y, etc, etc, etc, not to mention the remaining home chores: is my next week of hs planned, is the laundry caught up, what am I going to make for dinner when we get home at 5:30 and everyone is hot and tired and hungry....  and on and on.  I don't just wave my magic wand, nor do I just say, "Great, I can simply drop everything and we'll go!" (which is what he can do).  

 

Now that I know WHY I am so stressed by this stuff, I can deal with it much better.  Having a name for it (mental load) and knowing that it is real, important work that I'm doing for the family helps to validate it for me.  I don't mind bearing the mental load for the family, I think it's probably easier than attempting to divide it or constantly shuffle who is mentally organizing what, but I needed to hear that it was real work I was doing, even if there is no physical manifestation of it per se.  

 

[displace]

Lately, we have been doing one day out of the two out and aobut- either a hike, museum, picnic, etc. So, Saturdays we are home and/or running errands, Sunday we are doing a family activity. This is significantly reduced during the winter. We don't do any weekends away where we spend the night anywhere.

 

Our vacations are truly far away geographically, so when we leave for a month's vacation, there are not any chores piling up at home. I try to leave with the house clean and laundry baskets empty.

 

There was a link to a comic strip floating around here lately about the mental load women have vs. men. I found it to be extremely helpful in understanding why I was struggling to even want to go out on Sundays as a family. When DH says, "Let's do a hike Sunday!", it's like he has no grasp of the mental load that puts on me: picnic errands and food prep, do the kids have clean hiking clothes, what emergency supplies need to be packed, does everyone still have their sun hats on, when was the last time sunscreen was on, if we hike to place x will we be back for the train at time y, etc, etc, etc, not to mention the remaining home chores: is my next week of hs planned, is the laundry caught up, what am I going to make for dinner when we get home at 5:30 and everyone is hot and tired and hungry.... and on and on. I don't just wave my magic wand, nor do I just say, "Great, I can simply drop everything and we'll go!" (which is what he can do).

 

Now that I know WHY I am so stressed by this stuff, I can deal with it much better. Having a name for it (mental load) and knowing that it is real, important work that I'm doing for the family helps to validate it for me. I don't mind bearing the mental load for the family, I think it's probably easier than attempting to divide it or constantly shuffle who is mentally organizing what, but I needed to hear that it was real work I was doing, even if there is no physical manifestation of it per se.

Yes! This is me to a t! Add onto it a super long working DH and I feel overwhelmed. I joke about my "to do" list with my family that has probably 600+ items on it. And it's why I've stopped a lot of spontaneous outings: it's too much mental load, plus physical load too as DH isn't available to help with chores or errands either. Thanks for the label! :)

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Yes! This is me to a t! Add onto it a super long working DH and I feel overwhelmed. I joke about my "to do" list with my family that has probably 600+ items on it. And it's why I've stopped a lot of spontaneous outings: it's too much mental load, plus physical load too as DH isn't available to help with chores or errands either. Thanks for the label! :)

 

This is actually the first summer we've managed to do stuff all together in quite a while.  Prior to that, DH would take either all the kids or a subset of kids out, usually more locally because I just didn't have the mental space to even decide if I could or couldn't manage to go.  Now that the little guys sleeps all night and homeschooling is getting more routine, I am managing better to enjoy being out and about.  

[regentrude]

I think what greatly reduced the "mental load" of preparing for outings is that we did them every weekend. No thinking about supplies, because packing hiking gear is as automatic as taking my purse. The climbing gear is grabbed in a few minutes. We spent one weekend day in the woods with the kids since they were babies. So everyone is used to the routine and it requires no special effort. That makes everything a lot easier.

[displace]

I think what greatly reduced the "mental load" of preparing for outings is that we did them every weekend. No thinking about supplies, because packing hiking gear is as automatic as taking my purse. The climbing gear is grabbed in a few minutes. We spent one weekend day in the woods with the kids since they were babies. So everyone is used to the routine and it requires no special effort. That makes everything a lot easier.

There are some activities we tend to do more often than others, and in general it's easy for me to know we need X, Y, and Z for those. For 8+ months of the year it's too hot for us to do outside activities often, so I think I spend more effort trying to find new places to visit that are inside and not the same place every time.

[Donna]

We are very rarely home for a full day on the weekends...maybe 1-2 every few months. Dd and I are often away weekdays, too, but definitely weekends. Gigs, lessons, jam sessions, etc...most things in folk music happen on weekends.