Would you stop being a SAHM?

[Brindee]

I voted maybe: If absolutely needed...but I'd hate it!

 

I LOVE staying home with my children! Just like someone else said, I think my dh would have the house more organized than I do, and a set schedule when everything had to be done. I think he'd do a great job!

 

I haven't been in the workforce in so long, that I don't know how I'd do! I didn't really enjoy it out there, and didn't make enough to cover all of our expenses---not even close. Not even a tiny bit close! :)

 

So, PTL, we're where we're at doing what we do! DH does help with the math and some of the science since I am weaker in those areas, and everyone is happy with how things are going!

[chaik76]

Other. I don't see it ever happening. Dh used to say he would be happy to be SAHD but since we've had children he's said that he couldn't do it. He makes more money than I could, too. However, if something happened where he didn't have work and I needed to go to work, I could certainly see him hs'ing the kids while I worked. As a matter of fact, he would be very good at it...I just don't see him wanting it to be his career.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[kimmyandgracie]

This is pretty close to the situation we are in now. I work FT night shift as an RN on a hospital psychiatric unit, and dh is a WAHD . He only has to work part time hours, so he is pretty much a SAHD. He is a better housekeeper than me, and he is better with the dc than me. I plan the home schooling and dh and I share the implementation. This isn't how I planned for things to be, though. I wanted to be a SAHM , but dh was able to take a job working from home that pays almost as much as he was earning at the job he left, and he hated his job. I like my job, and it isn't feasible for me to work from home, so I didn't feel right about asking him be the one to work a public job. Also, he is a biological parent to all five of our dc, and I am a stepparent to all but one. He was working long hours at his job, and we both felt like the dc needed him at home, so the rest is history. I would love to be able to stay home with dc also, though, and be the full-time teacher. If the right opportunity arose for me to join dh at home and we could retain most of our current income, I would turn in my resignation at work ASAP.:)

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

If your husband said he wanted to be a SAHD and take over homeschooling, would you work outside the home (in a breadwinner role)?

 

Sure. In fact, I did it this year. Remains to be seen if home schooling will be in dd's future, though. But dh is a great SAHD. And he cooks for me.

[Peela]

I might if it were practically the best thing to do.

However, my dh has no interest in homeschooling the kids at all, although he is grateful that I do. He already is a SAHD though, he works from home. He has told me if I died he would put them in school- he couldnt homeschool. Thats why we got life insurance on me- so he could put them in the best private school.

I think I would see working outside the home as a temporary situation in a crisis situation, if necessary, but its not something I would really consider otherwise, at this point.

[Kay in Cal]

I'm another working mom with a SAHD husband. We love it! My work time is very flexible. I choose most of the curriculum, with dh's input, and he implements. I do teach one day a week--Wednesday is his "day off" when he has a part time job. Most things we can both cover, some I always do (bible, music) others he always teaches (Latin).

 

When we were first married we talked about my being in ministry, him writing and being a SAHD. We weren't certain it would work out that way, but that was our goal from the start. A couple of years later we talked about homeschooling. We were married almost ten years without children (we both worked) so it was kind of a surprise when it all came to be according to plan!

 

My next goal was to take a few years off and go get a PhD... but that hasn't happened yet. :tongue_smilie:

[fivetails]

No way. I love being a homeschooling SAHM :D ....and dh would never pull it off anyway, nor would he want to do it. Don't get me wrong, he loves our kids - but he's just not that sort of guy.

[MamaT]

We are happy in our roles as they are. I could never earn enough money to support our family, and dh sees that as his responsibility.

[Stacey in MA]

...but my skills have gone by the wayside, and I wouldn't be able to support our family like my DH does. I couldn't make the money he does at this point.

 

This is my comfort zone now, it's what I "do". I would have to re-learn the outside world, the job world, many things to re-enter. I wouldn't do it just as a fun choice. I'd do it if there were no other option for our family, but not just "because".

 

Were you asked to do this recently?

 

:-)

[dirty ethel rackham]

I voted "maybe." I really can't see it happening, but I think dh would be good at getting the kids to get things done. However, I would still have to do all the planning, selecting curricula, etc. Dh would be a much better homemaker than me as well. However, he is not as sensitive to when the kids may be upset or overwhelmed as me.

 

The other issue is that we would have to take a serious pay cut to do this and pay for our own health insurance. Although I was making almost double dh's salary when I left full-time employment, my career doesn't exist anymore. I was a computer analyst. Most of the major companies around here have shipped a majority of their technical jobs to India. I am woefully behind the times since being out of that market for 13 years. Although I do have my own business and could ramp things up to make a lot more money at it, I really only foresee being able to help defray college tuition with that income, not support a family and pay for health insurance.

[Desert Rat]

My answer was no because both of us agree I have more patience with the kids and he's horrible at housekeeping (at least to my standards). He IS a great cook though. We have relatively traditional roles in our family and works for us. Besides, I don't have near the earning potential he has.

[Karen sn]

My husband would love to stay at home with our son. He'd be a better teacher for some of the subjects we're approaching in high school. Luckily, he's retiring in 11 months so he'll get his wish. Well, I won't be working, we'll just both be home!

 

Wow. That could be really nice.

Lucky kid.

[brehon]

Dh recently retired and I'm the sole wage earner for our family of 6. Although I was never a SAHM, I was the primary educator for our kids. Now I'm the Minister of Education - Researching and Planning. Dh is Minister of Education - Primary Educator. Actually, dh won't teach Latin, so that's still my ballywick (as Greek and Writing will be when we start them). And I tend to teach history and science, but dh is doing the primary skills areas even when I'm not on duty. He's doing a wonderful job with kids and they're really responding to him. Our arrangement is working out even more wonderfully than we planned for (and dared to hope).

 

I will say that dh (when he worked) and I earned an almost equivalent amount of money and we busted our tails to pay off large chucks of debt prior to his retirement. We're still paying off debt, but are able to have a small cushion for life's unexpected events (like my recent hospitalization). Also I'm still generally in charge of housekeeping - which does not include cooking the daily meals as that's always been his department. I'm the baker of the family.

 

One of the big points which I think really helps us is that I work on average 10 days a month and am off duty for the other 2/3 of the time. So, I'm home more than I'm not.

[Sandy in Indy]

I voted other...I'd be dead of heart failure if my dh suggested such a thing! Seriously, dh has no confidence in his academic skills and therefore little interest in the kids' schooling.

 

Long ago we did trade roles for a while. I worked full-time for a Christian publisher and dh worked pt and watched our then 2-yr old after preschool. It worked for about a year, sort of. I was truly unhappy and depressed most of the time. I missed my family sooooo much. (And it didn't help that my work situation was, well, not very pleasant.) No, I wouldn't trade roles again. Period.

[katilac]

I put down 'maybe' because I would certainly be open to that in the future. As things stand now, I wouldn't make enough money for it to be practical, and dh doesn't have the patience and understanding of how younger kids learn to take on the full-time teacher role.

 

If I were to finish up grad school in a practical area and have higher $ opportunities, I could see it working in the teen years.

[Melora in NC]

I did this for three years, when our family's situation required it, but I would not do it again unless I Had to. I love spending the days with my kids, and I felt resentful about missing out on the time with them. Also, my dh is a Wonderful father, but he is not good at teaching academic subjects.:001_rolleyes:

[PinkInTheBlue]

Well, we are both already home since we both work at home. So he is already a way/sand. However I would not hand over the teaching because I feel pretty sure we have the same opinion of his patiense to do this. :) I love him passionately but patience would not be his best virtue. He is extremely smart though and would be a better math teacher if he could be more relaxed. :)

[Danestress]

and DH is getting the short end of the stick. I wonder every day why he doesn't wise up and say, "Okay, you start practicing law again, get up and go to work everyday, and I will hang out with and educate these completely delightful people." My husband's law practice is interesting but puts him in constant contact with people who are angry, blaming, aggressive, and miserable.

 

I wouldn't take that on for all the tea (or salary, or ego gratification) in China.

 

But I do feel like our current set up is sort of unfair. If he begged me to trade places, I would be miserable, but I would feel like I should give him a turn. THat said, if DH read this he would laugh. He likes his job, makes much more money than I could make, and has no interest being a SAHD even though he loves spending time with his boys.

[Mom-ninja.]

voted maybe. while nursing then no. if I wasn't nursing and I could make more money then yes.

 

I'm not sure dh could handle what I do though. :D

[cassiemc]

Yes, I would and he would love to do just that, but he makes way more $$ than I ever could. I'm not sure that we could live on my one income for very long. We are talking about half of what DH makes.

[Mandamom]

I did this. I had been a SAHM and homeschooling for 8 years when dh lost his job. After looking for several months and no luck I finally found a part-time teaching job. The job doesn't pay enough to cover the debts although it pays enough to cover the bills. I've added more tutoring students to cover the difference but I have a long way to go. BTW, I really LOVE LOVE LOVE my job.

 

I've pretty much left the cleaning and housework to dh but I'm still in charge of homework for the kids and any afterschooling that needs to be done.

 

It still thnk I'm the better one home with the kids but given the circumstances we really don't have a choice. Plus, given our history I'm not giving up my job or my tutoring even when dh does get a job, but that's a marital issue and not a job issue :)

[The Girls' Mom]

No. Not unless it was necessary for our survival.

 

First, we are both very comfortable with our roles in our family. Secondly, we feel that we are commanded by God to fulfill the roles we have. He is to provide and protect, and I am to nurture and take care of our home.

 

That said, I have worked. It didn't work well for our family, and we were all very stressed by it. Before we got our life on track, and got right with God, we were separated for a while. Our custody was split, and dh was full time caregiver 50% of the time. So we know we can do it...but it isn't what works best for our family.

 

But, should he for some reason become unable to work, he would be more than willing to take over school and homecare while I worked.

Edited March 28, 2009 by Apryl H

[Diana in OR]

I wouldn't have done it early on. This year, my boys are both in ps. But from the day they were born, wild horses couldn't have dragged me away from them, especially in the infant/toddler/preschool years.

 

Now that my boys are middle and high school, with college looming, if dh suddenly had a hankering to hs them, I'd tell him to go for it, but he would have to figure out the logistics since he is the primary breadwinner.