Another Baptism celebration question...sigh

[ktgrok]

The people involved:

Me, DH, DS 17, DD 7, DS4, baby, my parents, my sister (Godmother), and her two daughters, ages 6 and 4. And the Godfather, my DH's friend. Possibly Godfather's wife.

 

Background:

We can't do the celebration afterwards at our house because we are remodeling the bathroom and DH doesn't want people over while it is torn up.Anyway, baptism was originally supposed to be this past Sunday, at 1:15. An awkward time, but that's how it ended up. We planned, after much discussion, to take everyone to Bahama Breeze afterwards. DH doesn't want to do it at our house as we are remodeling the bathroom, and he works for Darden so gets a discount at their restaurants. Plan was to have drinks/appetizers/whatever anyone wanted. 

 

Well...my niece got strep and my son got a stomach virus, so the baptism was postponed. Now we have the option of Father's Day (June 18th) at 8am, or not until July 23rd, at 1:15 (at which point the Church will be under renovation and we'd have to do it in the parish hall.)

 

If we do it on June 18th we can't go to a Darden restaurant because they aren't open that early. I suggested we go to Panera - there is one directly behind the church, so super convenient. They have a small private room we could try to reserve, and do an assortment of pastries, bagels, and fruit salad, plus coffee, etc. DH says Panera is a no go..he dislikes their food most of the time and thinks it is no better than a waffle house or something. I disagree. There is a sit down breakfast place nearby, but that would cost more obviously and they don't take reservations, and are always busy with a wait. 

 

But also complicating things is that my family would want to celebrate father's day at the same time (basically, my sister and i would give my Dad his gifts/cards). And...we still haven't celebrated my mom's birthday because my sister was sick that weekend (May 21st was her birthday). Sigh. So that needs to be rolled in if we do it that day. None of which is a huge deal, except I can't see the Godfather wanted to be involved in all that family stuff, right?

 

So...should I just suck it up, be patient, and put her baptism off another month, and do it July 23rd? She'd be 4 months then. Or? 

 

Oh, and we are Catholic if it matters. 

Edited June 8, 2017 by ktgrok

[Caroline]

I would probably suck it up for another month. Will the bathroom done by then so you could have people back to the house?

[bettyandbob]

I'd do Father's Day and Panera. I'd get something special for dh to have at home later if Panera food really is that problematic.

[wintermom]

I'd do the baptism on Father's Day, and have breakfast/buffet where your dh wants with who ever can make it. I think the big fancy affair got missed due to illness, and you should just get it done with a more casual style.  

 

I personally think the baptism is the focus, not the party afterwards. That's my bias That's just how I think and how my dc's baptisms have all gone. None of their baptisms, first communions or confirmations have ever had a huge party afterwards. The timing and people who were there just never made it feasible.  We've had plenty of other fun parties and such over the years, though. 

[Starr]

I'd also do it on Father's Day and go to a restaurant your dh is happy with. You'll be done before noon and everyone can do whatever Father's Day things they have planned.

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Could you do the baptism on the 18th and do the celebration when it's more convenient?

[heartlikealion]

Hm that's tough because I would think that a lot of restaurants will be packed on Father's Day (or is that just Mother's Day lol). Given the circumstances, would you re-open the idea of doing the celebration in the hall? Maybe give your mom and dad their gifts after the godfather and his wife have left. Keep the gifts in the car.

 

Any way you could do family stuff at your parents' home (I don't know if they are together or not so not sure if there's one central location).

Edited June 8, 2017 by heartlikealion

[heartlikealion]

I'd do the baptism on Father's Day, and have breakfast/buffet where your dh wants with who ever can make it. I think the big fancy affair got missed due to illness, and you should just get it done with a more casual style.  

 

I personally think the baptism is the focus, not the party afterwards. That's my bias That's just how I think and how my dc's baptisms have all gone. None of their baptisms, first communions or confirmations have ever had a huge party afterwards. The timing and people who were there just never made it feasible.  We've had plenty of other fun parties and such over the years, though. 

 

When dd was baptized her godparents came over for a few minutes and left a gift and said they had to go. We were like :confused1: . It really upset dh because he didn't even get to know them and I was pretty bummed as well. They had to check on a relative they look after, but we had no idea they'd be rushing off.

 

[carriede]

Did you ask the godparents which date they would prefer? That would help me make the decision.

FWIW, I personally don't think waiting until 4 months to baptize a baby is a big deal.

[ktgrok]

More clarification/info:

 

DH doesn't know where he would want to go, that is open at 9am or so, other than the one that he says will "cost a fortune" and always has a wait. So he doesn't want panera but doesn't know what he does want. If he had a clear idea of what he wanted it would be easier. 

 

Godfather is not a morning person, so not thrilled about 8am. Godmother gets up at 4:30 most mornings so loves the 8am time, and it is easier for her with shared custody of her kids (they usually go to father's on Sunday...so they'd just go a bit late if it is at 8am, versus back and forth.) My family are all late rises, so we will hate 8am, but for a baptism it is worth getting up. 

 

location wise, Godfather lives about 30 minutes north of the church. Sister lives about 30 minutes south west of the church. Parents live just over an hour southwest of the church. I'm 15-20 minutes east of the church. 

 

Hence the idea of a restaurant right by the church. I will ask if there is a room we can use AT the church, I just don't know. 

Edited June 8, 2017 by ktgrok

[bettyandbob]

I'm still thinking Father's Day. Are there no other restaurants open. 

[shawthorne44]

I would wait until July.   

[Starr]

The way this is going I'm not sure I would count on July working out any better. :D  The soap opera Baptism. 

[J-rap]

I'd wait until July.  It sounds much simpler and less stressful.

 

My babies weren't generally baptized till 4-6 months.

 

 

[Guinevere]

I'd wait until July.  I like big, nice, organized events, and the Father's day one sounds rushed and awkward.  I'd let the baby have her own day, and own party.

[heartlikealion]

Is there a Denny's or something like that? I still would worry about a rush for Father's Day diners, though. But at 9am maybe people are not up and eating out just yet. They might tend to eat out later.

[KungFuPanda]

Do it in July and tell DH you're doing it at home whether the bathroom is finished or not. As long as there are working facilities, your family will not care. If HE cares, he's got a month to finish the bathroom.

[Calm37]

I would at least call about the Panera room. If that IS available, perhaps dh would suck it up a bit to make this easy on you. Take him out for his favorite food on Friday night? 

 

Easy is HUGE :) to me.

[ktgrok]

I would at least call about the Panera room. If that IS available, perhaps dh would suck it up a bit to make this easy on you. Take him out for his favorite food on Friday night? 

 

Easy is HUGE :) to me.

 

LOL, nothing about getting this family somewhere at 8am will be easy :)

 

However, I am thinking I'd rather not combine it with a million other things. It's just vanity to not like doing it in the parish hall while the church is remodeled. I'm sure they will make it look nice, since they will be having services there for quite a while. 

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[zoobie]

Is there a La Madeleine nearby? A friend had a small baby shower in a private room there. The food is fancier than Panera. :)

[ktgrok]

Is there a La Madeleine nearby? A friend had a small baby shower in a private room there. The food is fancier than Panera. :)

 

Never heard of it :(

 

Nearby is Panera, Keke's (which we don't love), and First Watch. 

 

Another issue is that we'd planned on a Darden restaurant so we'd get 40% off with his discount. None of which are open that early. 

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[bolt.]

In your shoes I'd probably try to create a "celebration of all the things".

 

I'd ask one of the involved families to allow you to use their home as a venue (with you doing all the work) and pick any meal within the weekend of the baptism. Like, supper the Saturday before or something.

 

This is a much less formal and less expensive plan. If it was me, I'd be thinking maybe a birthday cupcakes for mom; Father's Day cards and a favorite food for dad; but decorate for the baptism and add fancy punch and a second choice of decadent dessert food.

 

Offer to help the venue host make his/her home company-ready and assure her/him that you will clean up afterwards.

 

Even without the venue home, opening up your thinking to include other meals on the baptism weekend puts more restaurants on you possibilities list.

Edited June 8, 2017 by bolt.

[ktgrok]

If we do it another day/time that means everyone doing all that driving twice in a short period of time, which would be hard for everyone. 

[bolt.]

How much would it cost to pay someone to help finish your bathroom (vs paying for restaurant food)?

[Annie G]

July 23 would be an issue with your sister though, right? If her kids go see their dad on Sunday they wouldn't be able to attend, would they?

 

Is there a park nearby that you could use? One with a picnic shelter? Yeah, I know...it's hot in Florida. If there isn't a place at the church for you to use, I'd probably expand your zone and see what other restaurants are within 15-20 minutes. 

 

(Actually what I would do is tell DH he has to either do Panera without complaint, do it at the house even though the bathroom is being renovated, or help you find a place that is acceptable to him. You've been trying to find a solution and need some help- your guest list is small so you're trying to make it work for everyone and that's difficult)

[Angie in VA]

We recently had a double graduation party for my kids (college and high school graduations) at our church. Free to use, already clean before and a breeze to clean afterwards. Two Costco cakes (yes, it was too much, but we sent leftovers home w/ others), a lot of pizza, music, games and friends. Best party ever!

 

Do you have that option? If not, I'd wait till your house is ready. 

 

BTW, this party was a week after the college graduation (Mothers' Day weekend) and 2 weeks before the high school graduation. We're all so busy and took ds to a national tournament out of state, so that was the best time. 

Edited June 8, 2017 by Angie in VA

[ktgrok]

So, I sent my sister a text to see if she could swap days if we did July 23rd, so her kids could come. i'll see what she says. If she indicates that that works I'll switch. 

[katilac]

If we do it another day/time that means everyone doing all that driving twice in a short period of time, which would be hard for everyone. 

 

How much driving? If the driving is a big issue, I think your mom and dad are old enough to wait and get their gifts in July, lol. It's either worth another drive, or worth waiting a month. 

 

I myself would do July. You can't make it convenient for everyone, it's plenty of advance warning, and going to a baptism at a non-favorite time is the least of a godparent's commitments. Don't go straight into family stuff, but no big deal if you add it on.  

 

I know the venue is not the important thing, but it seems important to your dh - my thought is because he wants it to be nice, not because he doesn't personally like the food. I get that impression bc of the Waffle House comparison, that he thinks it would be tacky to have that kind of celebration there, and doesn't think Panera is much better. Eight in the morning doesn't sound like a great time for most of the group anyway, including you guys. And super early baptism in a family that doesn't like mornings, followed by continental breakfast at the closest place, would make me worried that it would feel rushed, like let's go ahead and get this done. Maybe your dh has that concern also? 

 

To clarify, I think it is very possible to have a lovely early baptism and celebration, I just think your dh might have those concerns, and also that it might not be super enjoyable for you guys. And 8 am does not leave a lot of margin for error.