s/o biological clock--flexible careers for women

[gardenmom5]

Maybe. I don't know how often.

 

When I wrote my comment it was following this post:

to which I thought, "well that's convenient... he probably has you to watch the kids so he can work from home." But I realized the poster was probably just sharing to state that she considered her dh's job family friendly.

 

 

dh works from home.  I've occasionally had to ask him to do stuff with dudeling, but only when he was older.

 

some things can be picked up and put down.  computer work - more easily.

phone where you're talking to people or actually meeting with people - not.

 

dd is a techie, and had a job with the option of working from home on occasion.  when she was super stressed she'd stay home and bake while running projects.  (her all male coworkers loved her, only partly because she'd bring her creations into the office for them to eat.)  I've no idea what she'll do when she has kids.  she wants to stay home and homeschool.  her current job certainly can't be done from home or shift to part-time.  but she also thinks when she has everything fixed, under control, and running smoothly (currently it's pure chaos) - she'll get bored.

[Carrie12345]

dh works from home.  I've occasionally had to ask him to do stuff with dudeling, but only when he was older.

 

some things can be picked up and put down.  computer work - more easily.

phone where you're talking to people or actually meeting with people - not.

 

 

Yeah, dh can often take some stuff on at home, but all our kids are 6 and older, and mostly able to handle any need they might have outside of a true emergency. And I can easily be called back from the grocery store or whatever if something comes up.

One of dh's coworkers is annoyed that the bosses aren't looking kindly on him being home alone with his 2yo.  Um. He's 2.  That's a LOT more disruptive when a lot of the work takes place on the phone!

[Guest]

Someone up above mentioned lawyering as being mommy friendly. It is decidedly not, fwiw.

Agreed. I'm not a lawyer but I have intimate knowledge of the daily schedule of someone who is. Guess what he is doing this fine Memorial Day?? Not grilling.

[heartlikealion]

Yeah, dh can often take some stuff on at home, but all our kids are 6 and older, and mostly able to handle any need they might have outside of a true emergency. And I can easily be called back from the grocery store or whatever if something comes up.

One of dh's coworkers is annoyed that the bosses aren't looking kindly on him being home alone with his 2yo.  Um. He's 2.  That's a LOT more disruptive when a lot of the work takes place on the phone!

 

Yep, I can see that. I have a 2 yr old. I have thought about trying different things from home, but I feel like I can't get anything done. I've asked dh to make phone calls for me before but he doesn't want to do that on his lunch break and I say that I don't like making phone calls with a toddler screaming in the background. I've timed phone calls to the insurance company before to take place after I parked the car in the school pick up line because at least I knew dd would be sleeping in the backseat at that point. I've pulled the car over after getting ds in just so I could complete a phone call in peace.

[brehon]

I work FT as a paramedic and my dh is a SAHD. Our oldest kids went to a wonderful in-home daycare when they were very young and my dh retired when my 4th child was a baby. We subsequently had two more.

 

I've worked FT as a medic for almost 20 years. Most of the medics in my system work a traditional 24/48 hour shift which means we work for 24 hours and are usually off for 48 hours. My system also utilizes what we call demand paramedics who work 12 hour shifts (7a-7p) and community health paramedics who also work 12 hours.

 

Working the 24/48 hour shifts means I generally work 10 days a month, sometimes more if I pick up overtime or am tagged for mandatory OT. My system is pretty busy (not New York or Houston busy, but busy enough) and my station is one of the busier in the system. Because of age and mileage it takes me longer to recover from all nighters than it did when I was younger.

 

This work schedule works for me primarily because my dh stays home with the kids. I can come home and fall into bed not worrying about the kids. A single parent would probably need to ensure there was a back-up plan or two for when she/he was too tired to watch the kids after a busy shift.

 

The upside is that I'm home with my family 20 days a month and, given how I accrue vacation and holiday time, can easily take shifts off when I want or need to do so. I earn a *very* good wage considering I work for a county government and, most importantly, have good bennies and an incredible retirement package. In many ways, I feel I have the best of many worlds - a challenging and interesting job, excellent total compensation package, and a support network underpinning it all.

 

My system is very close to a 50-50 split between men and women and most of us have families.

[G5052]

I'm the breadwinner, making about a public school teacher with an M.A. and ten years of experience gets; DH is retired. Our youngest is graduating this weekend, so we'll have two living at home and in college in the fall -- one freshman and one junior.

 

For years, I taught one or two college classes in the evening. I have a STEM graduate degree and was involved in training for years. My last job was as a government training program manager. Of course the first time you teach a class, it's tough, but then it's very reasonable for the money. I started at a school 25 minutes away. I met DH on his way home at a shopping center near the campus, and he took the little darlings home with him.

 

Then I moved to a campus 15 minutes away that could offer me more classes including online teaching. They ran me through a graduate certificate in online teaching. That was over ten years ago, which was the ideal time to enter that field. It's much harder to get into now.

 

Now I am a 3/4 time professor teaching entirely online for the first school from standardized course shells, so it's just answering emails and grading. It was hard at first because some of the technical content in one class I teach had changed significantly from when I learned it, but it's easy now. I teach four sections a semester during the school year and three in the summer. I'm eligible for some benefits.

 

I also do work as an independent contractor for private online school and periodically take on writing projects for various educational institutions. I'm actually cutting back somewhat on that now because my college work has increased to the point that I can turn down work that is more time-consuming than my college teaching. A year from now I may be able to cut that down further, but we have to see how our finances go this year.

 

If I hadn't worked all along and gradually increased my work, DH would not have been able to retire when he did. He had planned to work longer, but medically he just couldn't continue. He's doing better now, but could never go back to a 9-to-5 job. He helps me here-and-there with errands and basic household and yard tasks. So that has taken some of the load off me.

[bethben]

My cousin was a pharmacist who worked weekends and holidays (she would get pay and a half for holidays). She earned around 70k just doing that and was able to stay home with her child.

 

 

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[madteaparty]

Agreed. I'm not a lawyer but I have intimate knowledge of the daily schedule of someone who is. Guess what he is doing this fine Memorial Day?? Not grilling.

Funny because I'm a lawyer somewhat and I had a BBQ at another (real ;)) lawyer's house this weekend. He grilled ;)

But we've pulled all nighters too before. It's impossible to generalize, depends on stages and phases and how much money you think you need to make.

[2squared]

Maybe. I don't know how often.

 

When I wrote my comment it was following this post:

to which I thought, "well that's convenient... he probably has you to watch the kids so he can work from home." But I realized the poster was probably just sharing to state that she considered her dh's job family friendly.

 

It seems to me sometimes people have the option of a spouse to watch the kids while they work from home (can't help but think of that BBC clip with the man on camera and the kids bursting in the room) but for me personally it drives me bonkers trying to do anything with the whole family here even if dh is watching them. They are loud. I could not justify hiring a nanny or sitter while I worked from home for the reasons I listed up thread. I would have to make enough money just to pay for software then a sitter on top of that? no thanks. I'm not sure it's true everyone pays for a sitter/nanny. I think a lot of people luck out, have a support system to rely on. Mother-in-law, mom, aunt, etc. I see it around here all the time. But I don't have that nearby. So I agree that in some cases I'm sure people do that, but in other cases I think they just luck out.

I work FT as the breadwinner, so I am definitely not watching the kids. We don't have any family within a two hour drive either. My kids are all in school FT, and my dh often works around their schedules.

 

As a PT public defender, he makes about $30k/year, definitely not a salary we would live on.

[2squared]

nm

Edited May 30, 2017 by 2squared

[gardenmom5]

Pharmacist

 

I'm a pharmacist who re-entered the workforce. I earn, working part time, what many people earn working full time.  

 

My DIL graduated from pharmacy school when she was 6 months pregnant.  She has the sweetest job working 2 days a week and an occasional Saturday.  My grandson goes to Moms Day Out for 1 of those days and the other works such that my son can take care of him.  She is expecting another child in July and will keep the same schedule.  The pharmacy manager was thrilled when he found out she would still be working.

 

I'm not sure I would encourage someone who already has children and who has no college background to go back for this degree because it is 6 years and a lot of hard work, but for a young lady planning college, it's an excellent field that allows flexibility when one decides to start a family.  Much of the success, too, may be varied based on geographic area and need for pharmacists.  My DIL is in a very needy area.

 

dd is a pharmacist - she had multiple pt-time when she moved to texas.  one was two weekends a month in an inpatient hospital pharmacy where she is now working full-time.  

 

she spent time talking with the chem dept chair's wife.  she's a pharmacist, and had been able to work only a few hours a month.

 

My DD is thinking about a career as a music teacher.   Definitely not a lot of money, but it's a field where she can work as much or as little as she'd like.   She has two music teachers now who have been tremendously positive influences in her life, and I'd love it if she could do the same for other students one day.

 

I know a woman who pays her bills as a music teacher from home.

 

Funny because I'm a lawyer somewhat and I had a BBQ at another (real ;)) lawyer's house this weekend. He grilled ;)

But we've pulled all nighters too before. It's impossible to generalize, depends on stages and phases and how much money you think you need to make.

 

I'd imagine it depends on multiple factors.  barristers vs solicitor, and what field.  we have a friend who was a barrister (retired), and he could often take off at the drop of a hat for a river trip (multiple times a year) -unless he had a case actually in court.

[Alice]

Pediatrician. I work about 12 hours a week in the office and between 5-10 more rounding on patients a the hospitals. It's pretty much the norm in pediatrics now for women docs to work part-time. In our office of 6 docs, 5 are part-time. There are many variations of that...one woman works one day a week and has the youngest kids. One works two full days and two half days. 

 

You can easily come out of residency and negotiate terms where your insurance and fees are paid for by your practice and you work enough to keep up with licensure and then increase your hours as your kids get older. Or you can come out and work full time for a bit and then drop down when you have kids (what I did). 

 

My dh works part-time also and has since our oldest was born. I do think that anyone who chooses to work part-time has to realize that will come with career sacrifices. I will never be a partner at my practice which means I have less earning potential and I have less ability to be involved in decisions. Dh will also never be a principal at his firm, which effects his overall earning potential beyond just making less because you work less. He also has had certain people at his firm express that they don't think part-timers are as committed or as good of employees. He's been there long enough to have a secure place and he has good support there but it hasn't been a choice that comes without some downside. That said, we decided early on that we preferred to both work part-time for multiple reasons. The benefits for our family have outweighed the negatives.

 

I think that it's important for both boys and girls to grow up realizing that there are many ways to structure your work/life and that you cannot "have it all". You can find a job where you can work part-time and stay home with kids. But it will not take you to the same career levels as a job where you put in tons of hours. Or if both parents choose to work at very high-level careers, family life will be different than if one or both stayed home. 

[Carrie12345]

 The benefits for our family have outweighed the negatives.

 

 

I think that's the end-all, be-all key.

However, it's frustrating (imo) how so many tracks are based on decisions made as teenagers, when almost no one can really predict what path their future partner might be on (or even what their family support system might be), and how that will limit or expand their options, benefits, or negatives.

[AnniePoo]

DH is a primary care doctor and that is pretty flexible since it's in such high demand.  There are women who work 2 days per week.  Obviously this isn't the greatest choice to go into after having kids (the training is insane), but if the training is in place before kids, I think this would be something feasible.

 

The women I know with careers and kids almost all have a mother or MIL who devotes her retirement to taking care of grandkids.

This is what I see as well.  I homeschooled until this past school year so most of my contacts are homeschooling moms who don't work outside the home, but of the people I've gotten to know that do work, a mom or MIL has done huge amounts of work to make it happen.  We're talking picking up the kids from school, taking them to soccer, walking their dog, feeding kids dinner, etc.  These moms have school-age kids and I don't know how they handled it when the kids were tiny.

[Carol in Cal.]

Dental hygienist or dentist.

These are types of work that can be structured into working 3 days per week if necessary, but still make a decent living.

[Hilltopmom]

DH is a primary care doctor and that is pretty flexible since it's in such high demand. There are women who work 2 days per week. Obviously this isn't the greatest choice to go into after having kids (the training is insane), but if the training is in place before kids, I think this would be something feasible.

 

This is what I see as well. I homeschooled until this past school year so most of my contacts are homeschooling moms who don't work outside the home, but of the people I've gotten to know that do work, a mom or MIL has done huge amounts of work to make it happen. We're talking picking up the kids from school, taking them to soccer, walking their dog, feeding kids dinner, etc. These moms have school-age kids and I don't know how they handled it when the kids were tiny.

I worked when I had babies, they went to daycare all day.

Actually easier than working with school age kids I think. Dh dropped toddler at daycare before work, I picked up after work. They were open 7AM-6 PM, as a teacher, I was there earlier than 6.

 

With older kids, they may not be able to do outside school outside activities like dance, soccer. People have their kids attend afterschool care programs or a babysitters house after school.

 

Sure, it's nice if grandma can do those things, but it's not a mystery how other people do it. It's called daycare (or afterschool care,as the case may be)

The problem comes when families are working low paid jobs & can't afford daycare on their pay

[2squared]

Agreed. Most at my place of employment use daycare. I don't know anyone relying on family for FT care.

 

We used PT care for my youngest combined with a flexible PT work schedule for dh. Now that all five are in school FT, my oldest watch the littles when they aren't in school. Dh still has a flexible schedule, but he doesn't have to flex as much as the kids get older.

[heartlikealion]

Honestly, I thought this thread was about people at home with kids during school hours and managing to work PT. That's why I wasn't thinking of daycare.

 

 

The problem comes when families are working low paid jobs & can't afford daycare on their pay

 

That's what I was thinking. How could people afford to work and afford the daycare. That's mainly why I'm not working right now. I had a job interview recently and the pay was so low that after driving and paying for childcare I would probably only take home $100/mo. :( And it was actually a FT job. Summers off because it was a school. (and I heard the daycare requires FT fees whether you use it PT or FT which I'm sure is an obstacle for people working PT).

Edited May 30, 2017 by heartlikealion

[Rachel]

The women I know who have had part time work that paid decent with young kids:

 

Attorney- employment law, 3 days per week

PA- two weekends a month

Nurses- usually 2 or 3 twelve hour shifts each week (I know multiple people who have done this)

Chemical engineer- works part time from home, my husband helped her get that position and partly she is a rock star in her job so the company would have done just about anything to accommodate her

Dental Hygienist

CPA- worked for a Fortune 500 company in a large city, she had many years of experience before going part time though.

Substitute and piano teacher

 

I also know a man who is a private practice attorney who has made it a priority to be home with his kids. He works school hours.

[2squared]

Honestly, I thought this thread was about people at home with kids during school hours and managing to work PT. That's why I wasn't thinking of daycare.

 

 

That's what I was thinking. How could people afford to work and afford the daycare. That's mainly why I'm not working right now. I had a job interview recently and the pay was so low that after driving and paying for childcare I would probably only take home $100/mo. :( And it was actually a FT job. Summers off because it was a school. (and I heard the daycare requires FT fees whether you use it PT or FT which I'm sure is an obstacle for people working PT).

If you start working during the daycare years despite not netting a lot, you gain valuable experience, raises, social security benefits, etc. over the years. By the end of the daycare years, you probably contribute a nice chunk to your household income.

[Crimson Wife]

Honestly, I thought this thread was about people at home with kids during school hours and managing to work PT. That's why I wasn't thinking of daycare.

 

You asked about "flexible" and if you are only interested in WAH jobs, you should have specified that. Because "flexible" is going to cover a far wider range of jobs. Something that is PT but in an office/hospital most people would consider "flexible" since it's not 40+ hours/week M-F.

 

[SeaConquest]

I'm going back to school to pursue a second doctorate in nursing. The JD is anything but family friendly, and not portable if you like to move/travel. I wouldn't wish a second bar exam on my worst enemy.

[Carrie12345]

If you start working during the daycare years despite not netting a lot, you gain valuable experience, raises, social security benefits, etc. over the years. By the end of the daycare years, you probably contribute a nice chunk to your household income.

 

That's also going to depend on the career/job, and even the general economy.  How many people, including men (who we typically assume are "free" of childcare planning, and it pains me to type that but it IS typical, even in my house) talk about how they haven't gotten any sort of raise in years, if ever? And SS benefits are already estimated to be slashed, so I'm pretty cynical about that aspect for my kids in the future.

 

That's not to *disagree* with what you're saying as a possibility, it just isn't always applicable.

[2squared]

No, it's not always applicable, but not working definitely doesn't provide salary increases or social security benefits. A career is about 40 years long. To count yourself out b/c of a few daycare years definitely hurts long term earnings.

 

I was out of the workforce for eight years. I loved being home and homeschooling, but my time away definitely hurt my long term earning potential. I wouldn't make another choice, but I have to be realistic about the impact of my choices. I was making $80k + bonus when I left the workforce in 2004. I made $80k+ bonus when I rentered in 2013. Four years and only two raises later, I'm up to $85k+ bonus. I choose to not think where I would be if I had remained employed for those eight years.

[heartlikealion]

You asked about "flexible" and if you are only interested in WAH jobs, you should have specified that. Because "flexible" is going to cover a far wider range of jobs. Something that is PT but in an office/hospital most people would consider "flexible" since it's not 40+ hours/week M-F.

 

 

I'm not the OP. I just understood the thread differently than what was probably intended.

 

[heartlikealion]

That's also going to depend on the career/job, and even the general economy.  How many people, including men (who we typically assume are "free" of childcare planning, and it pains me to type that but it IS typical, even in my house) talk about how they haven't gotten any sort of raise in years, if ever? And SS benefits are already estimated to be slashed, so I'm pretty cynical about that aspect for my kids in the future.

 

That's not to *disagree* with what you're saying as a possibility, it just isn't always applicable.

 

YES. I worked as a cashier on/off for years. My most recent job as a cashier? MINIMUM WAGE. They said that's what everyone had to get. I don't know if there is room for a raise there. I just worked a few shifts during their busy time. And the job I was talking about up thread where I would work FT and only get a little bit of pay. It was an assistant teacher. The pay in my state is crap and I wouldn't hold my breath for any raises. After so many years I'm sure you move into a different bracket, but the start out pay was so low it worked out to about min. wage, and a bit more if you divided the pay by 10 mo. not 12 since you'd have summers off and technically not work summers.

 

[newhsmom]

Yeah. I didn't find it flexible or family friendly either.

My best friend is a lawyer and it is definitely not flexible or family friendly.