how to help ds with "crafting" skills

[Farrar]

An unfortunate thing has been happening to ds 12 more and more at co-op and in DI. He does - frankly - a cruddy job of making something and the other kids are not kind about it. In the case of co-op, there's no excuse. Co-op is as much about social stuff as anything. The kids pick the projects. Right now, they're planning a re-enactment of the Battle of Marathon and making shields and cardboard helmets and PVC pipe weapons and costumes and so forth. Ds did a cruddy job on one of the shields and a girl was like, um, no, and painted over it. So, yes, words were had. Not okay.

 

But in DI it's very tricky. They're judged on everything they make. When he does a sloppy job, they will lose points. And I can step in and say, hey, how can we consider everyone's feelings, etc. etc. but I am not allowed to tell them to leave it. If they decide as a team that ds screwed up and to redo his work (which, frankly, was the right call several times) then I can't override them.

 

The crazy part is that he himself seems to realize that he has done a bad job. But then he won't listen to any of our suggestions. Like, he made a cosplay Lapis costume that was a hot mess. Mushroom tried to gently (he really was pretty nice about it) say that if he would paint the back of the wings it would look so much better. He refused. But then later, he was crying about what a bad costume he had made.

 

In fact, this has been the source of tears a number of times lately. And today, after that incident at co-op, he then lashed out and was nasty back to the kids because he got bored and refused to do anything because he felt nothing he could do was right. Ugh.

 

When he draws (mostly Pokemon and MTG stuff) he's got a decent hand. But he can't cut or sew a straight line if our lives all depended on it. And he is one of those kids who goes to use tape and ends up with a giant ball of wasted tape and you're like, how did this even happen!?! How did you use this much tape! Ditto with the hot glue. He's a glue waster. And he likes to cut corners and ignore directions. Or just not look for directions. Both my kids think forging your own path is intrinsically better. Yes, dears, for some things. But not if you want your craft to come out right, not on the first try at something new. And it's so odd for this kid because he is super, super determined and has a ton of perseverance. I mean, he has slowly, over the course of the year, forced his body to do things for ballet it absolutely does not want to do. But he refused to give up. And he likes to find contests and write stories for them. And he'll show a ton of persistence about all kinds of other things. But it seems to all go out the window when faced with cardboard and glue and cloth.

 

For his own projects (like that cosplay thing) I just keep my mouth shut and praise his hard work and enjoyment if he liked it. But when he gets upset, he proclaims that he wants to be able to do this stuff better. Any thoughts about a way to teach or support these crafting skills sideways? Obviously, he's not going to take it head on. I almost feel like he needs a crafting curriculum. And he likes curriculum.

[Arcadia]

If you have a Michaels store nearby, I would look at the one time classes there. The Mother's Day craft class for example might work. http://www.michaels.com/classes-and-events/classesandevents

 

ETA:

Old thread on sewing curriculum http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/227173-sewing-curriculum-what-is-out-there/

Edited May 2, 2017 by Arcadia

[Arctic Bunny]

I think I've missed something, but why does he have to do these crafting projects? I'm not sure being artistic or crafty is a skill you can learn. Sure, you can learn technical things, and cheats to help yourself, but I don't think you can make things like that come naturally!

 

One of my DSs is slightly more artistic than the other. Every year at school, there is a drawing contest, and every year neither of them win. And it has been really hard for me to nudge them towards the realization that they are not going to win that contest. Their talents lie in other directions, and that's okay. Sure, I can draw a bit, etc, but I would have rather had calculus and physics come naturally!

[bookbard]

I reckon break down the skills and teach them directly. I am hopeless at stuff like that - eg cutting straight - and yet I still like crafting. There are actual tips that normal people seem to have worked out that always bypassed me (I am not a details person). For example - when you're colouring in, colour in the same direction, not several different directions. When you're cutting, turn the paper, not your hand. 

 

Your point about not following directions? That's me, too. Took me ages to learn to knit because I just could not follow one direction, then the next, then the next. Till I had to. 

 

I would see a finished product and have no idea how to get from point A to point B, and yet not follow directions. Crazy. 

 

So, my suggestion would be - training observation to look at details. Breaking things down and teaching each step. Showing how a big project (eg a shield) is made from lots of little steps, each of which has to be done right if the whole thing is going to work. 

 

I'd start with things that don't matter to him - things you assign. Then, when it's his project and he wants full ownership of it, he can do it himself. 

[Farrar]

I think I've missed something, but why does he have to do these crafting projects? I'm not sure being artistic or crafty is a skill you can learn. Sure, you can learn technical things, and cheats to help yourself, but I don't think you can make things like that come naturally!

 

One of my DSs is slightly more artistic than the other. Every year at school, there is a drawing contest, and every year neither of them win. And it has been really hard for me to nudge them towards the realization that they are not going to win that contest. Their talents lie in other directions, and that's okay. Sure, I can draw a bit, etc, but I would have rather had calculus and physics come naturally!

 

He wants to. He enjoys it. But then he's unhappy with the results.

 

If he didn't like it, I don't think I'd care. But he wants to be able to make things. It would be a challenge for continuing DI if he wasn't able to help make props and sets and costumes and so forth. Though, this year, his greatest contribution in the end was he fixed their script. Well, that and he was faster at decoding than any of the other kids. The script was also a hot mess and after all the things he messed up, no one wanted to let him at it. But when they finally did, he made it SO much better because he's a pretty good writer. But he was disappointed in himself for having messed up costumes and so forth.

[Junie]

Your ds sounds so much like me.  I get so impatient with crafting.  I want to like crafting.  I think the deeper truth is that I like the idea of crafting but the the doing of crafting.

 

I'm the same way with baking.  I like the idea of baking, but I hate to measure and so I don't.  My results are rarely good, and so I have passed off the baking responsibilities.

 

I feel for your son.  I don't have good results with crafting either.  It's not that I can't do it; it's just that I don't really enjoy the process well enough to slow down and do it right.

[Serenade]

I think the only way is with more and more practice and the child/student has to be willing.

 

I have a son who struggles with crafty things. He always has -- back to his toddler days. He always rather made trains with his crayons than actually color a picture. He, too, would like to do better but doesn't really want to put in the effort, maybe because he knows he won't get the same result as others for a similar effort. He has to work harder at this stuff.

 

He does have a small motor skill deficiency and used to go to OT, years ago. I probably didn't pursue small motor skills development with him as much as I should have because it was always so frustrating. He's 17 now, and he realizes he has a small motor skill problem (still!), but I'm not sure if he uses that as an excuse, or if it's good that he realizes that and moves on with life, KWIM? He has been "forced" to do crafty things to earn Boy Scout merit badges, and I will say he has actually improved a bit as he got older (a little more stick-to-it-ism.) If he is willing to take the time he can usually do a decent job, but mostly he is not.

 

Which brings up one more point. His younger brother is very crafty and good at most anything that requires small motor skills -- the complete opposite of my older son. Sometimes I think my older son doesn't want to do crafty things because no matter what he does, he will never be as good as his brother in this regard. It's weird -- I've got one kid very deficient in this area, and one who is more skilled than average. If I could blend them both together I'd have normal. :-)

 

Just curious, what is DI?

Edited May 2, 2017 by Serenade

[Guest]

DI is direct instruction. Good for teaching use of a particular tool.

 

For developing the eye, art class. For breaking down a thing into components in the mind, start simple and build up. Cub scout projects and lego are helpful. Putting together outfits, looking critically at design of things such as cars to see how the partsmake the while is helpful.

[deerforest]

DI is direct instruction. Good for teaching use of a particular tool.

 

For developing the eye, art class. For breaking down a thing into components in the mind, start simple and build up. Cub scout projects and lego are helpful. Putting together outfits, looking critically at design of things such as cars to see how the partsmake the while is helpful.

 

I thought she was talking about Destination Imagination (DI).

[deerforest]

My DD has loved crafting forever, and some things she got good at just naturally, but I ended up getting her in a sewing camp, then a homeschool sewing club, and then some costume making classes. Her skills rise with her confidence and vice versa. She's learned to overcome mistakes too. She and DH had a misunderstanding about her measurements for some stilting pants that she was making this weekend, and she ended up having to make a major save as a result of mis-cutting the fabric. But, she got through it.

 

She still sometimes doesn't take our recommendations. When we were designing this costume, the 2 of us sat down with colored pencils and each brainstormed ideas. Neither of us are great at drawing but it was enough for us to put out a bunch of ideas before we committed to anything. I had an idea of which one I thought would work best, but we had a bunch of ideas, and she ended up liking my base idea but expanded/changed it, and it ended up coming out great. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I was like this as a kid.

Sooo uncoordinated.

And I was positive that this was entirely because I had no aptitude, and that talent and inspiration fall on you from the sky, and either you have them or you don't.

 

I think part of it is the expectation of kids is that they will get this craft perfect on the first try.  It was a revelation to me to learn that actual artists never do that.  They scaffold their work--do studies, do a 'practice piece', even take technique classes.  And they make mistakes, too, and then they think about how to cover them up or turn these into 'features'.

 

So when DD came along I tried to make sure that she had a lot of exposure to good quality materials of various types, and that she saw people make things and screw up and fix them and present their work.  This gave her the confidence that I had lacked, to try and fail and try again.  It also gave her opportunities to practice so that when she had more standard craft opportunities she already had the motor skills and experience to at least make a reasonable showing.

 

It sounds like your DS would benefit from some practice outside of class with cutting, planning, painting, etc.  And he would probably benefit from learning, as I did, that artists don't get everything right on their first tries.

[winterbaby]

I recently discovered that about a hundred years ago, there actually used to be curriculum for this.

 

Suggestive Course in Paper and Cardboard Construction for Third and Fourth Grades

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=7eVNAQAAMAAJ

 

Paper and Cardboard Construction

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=BaAWAAAAIAAJ

 

What and How: A Systematized Course of Handwork

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=HmsaAAAAYAAJ

 

Industrial Work for Public Schools

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=pH_QAAAAMAAJ

 

Paper Sloyd (weird title I know, turns out "sloyd" is Swedish slöjd, the Scandinavian tradition of handicrafts education)

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=mR0CAAAAYAAJ

 

A Graduated Course of Simple Manual Training Exercises for Educating the Hand and Eye (that's a mouthful!)

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=EAgTAAAAIAAJ

 

We haven't used any of these yet - I discovered them just the other day! - but I had a lot of the sort of trouble it sounds like your son is having and now that I've seen these books, it only seems obvious that of course skills like this would follow a developmental progression from the simple and imitative to the more complicated and creative. It only makes sense - and is no reflection on their ultimate potential - that a lot of kids would flounder if suddenly plonked down in the middle of that progression, any more than if that happened in an academic subject. I think we seem to assume that since these types of projects use cheap, safe, "kid-friendly" materials, they should just be able to get on with it. And as you're finding, that's not the case. And how interesting that educators used to know that.

Edited May 2, 2017 by winterbaby

[Farrar]

I thought she was talking about Destination Imagination (DI).

 

Yes. Destination Imagination. Sorry... should have been clearer. It's an academic/creativity team kind of thing where kids pick a challenge and then compete at a tournament. My kids have been involved in it since they were little.

[Farrar]

Your ds sounds so much like me.  I get so impatient with crafting.  I want to like crafting.  I think the deeper truth is that I like the idea of crafting but the the doing of crafting.

 

I'm the same way with baking.  I like the idea of baking, but I hate to measure and so I don't.  My results are rarely good, and so I have passed off the baking responsibilities.

 

I feel for your son.  I don't have good results with crafting either.  It's not that I can't do it; it's just that I don't really enjoy the process well enough to slow down and do it right.

 

Yes. This is exactly it, I think. It's just funny how he can do it for some things and not for this. He's also a mess at baking. He's great at quick things like scrambled eggs but anything with lots of steps... one of them will go by the wayside.

[Alessandra]

That stinks. I can't offer help, only sympathy. While I love to look at pictures of people's craft projects, I hate doing them myself. When kids were little, we did sloppy ones that got the lesson across, which was ok with me.

 

When my Girl Scout troop (and their parents) are doing crafts, I bustle about taking lots of photos and offering copious praise. Everybody loves having their projects immortalized in pictures, and I don't have to touch glue or paint.

 

I hope you are able to work something out.

 

I wasn't able to find the link, but I remember a homeschool post from a family that lived in Turkey -- it was on crafts vs handicrafts. Handicrafts -- such as weaving, woodworking, etc -- have more of a purpose. Personally, I will put real effort into a handicraft project, but no effort into, say, Mesopotamian jewellery made of macaroni.

 

Sorry for the rant, didn't mean to hijack your thread.

[Farrar]

I was like this as a kid.

Sooo uncoordinated.

And I was positive that this was entirely because I had no aptitude, and that talent and inspiration fall on you from the sky, and either you have them or you don't.

 

I think part of it is the expectation of kids is that they will get this craft perfect on the first try.  It was a revelation to me to learn that actual artists never do that.  They scaffold their work--do studies, do a 'practice piece', even take technique classes.  And they make mistakes, too, and then they think about how to cover them up or turn these into 'features'.

 

So when DD came along I tried to make sure that she had a lot of exposure to good quality materials of various types, and that she saw people make things and screw up and fix them and present their work.  This gave her the confidence that I had lacked, to try and fail and try again.  It also gave her opportunities to practice so that when she had more standard craft opportunities she already had the motor skills and experience to at least make a reasonable showing.

 

It sounds like your DS would benefit from some practice outside of class with cutting, planning, painting, etc.  And he would probably benefit from learning, as I did, that artists don't get everything right on their first tries.

 

I have tried to do this... show that it takes practice, that artists make mistakes, that everyone learns by following directions at first... and somehow it's always new information for this kid.

 

He is a little uncoordinated sometimes. Which is weird... because if you saw him dance, you wouldn't believe it.

 

I should probably see if I can talk him into a class. He has so little schedule time available because he does five ballet classes a week. Also, there aren't a ton of good "crafty" classes around me. I need to see if I can find him something... maybe for the summer after ballet festival ends.

[deerforest]

Our costuming classes were 1:1 with one of the best costumers in our local circus community. I got her private facepainting lessons too!. Maybe someone within his dance world? It was like an apprenticeship almost. It was awesome!

[Arctic Bunny]

Yes. Destination Imagination. Sorry... should have been clearer. It's an academic/creativity team kind of thing where kids pick a challenge and then compete at a tournament. My kids have been involved in it since they were little.

Thank you! That helps a lot!

Is there any way for him to lead the team towards choosing a challenge that highlights his strengths more?

[daijobu]

Maybe at home, set him up at a table with a glue gun, tons of glue sticks, and whatever medium he needs to glue and let me explore?  Give him a bunch of tape and something to tape and let him experiment?   No pressure, no one looking over his shoulder, so he can just try different techniques on his own?  

[Farrar]

Our costuming classes were 1:1 with one of the best costumers in our local circus community. I got her private facepainting lessons too!. Maybe someone within his dance world? It was like an apprenticeship almost. It was awesome!

 

He is supposedly the only boy that the costume mistress didn't scream she wasn't going to work with anymore because they were all a bunch of hooligans.  :laugh:  Still, I'm not sure that's the best endorsement... It's a thought though... There may be somewhere else.

[Farrar]

Thank you! That helps a lot!

Is there any way for him to lead the team towards choosing a challenge that highlights his strengths more?

 

Not really. Every challenge except improv (and sometimes even improv) involve costumes, sets, etc. Like, the challenge this year also involved research (he did well with that), secret codes (he did well on that), and all challenges involve having a script of some sort (he's good with that), and acting (he's excellent at that). And most of them involve making something technical as well - like something electronic or an engineered structure. His brother shines on this stuff... though he works extraordinarily slowly, he turns out crazy good products. I'm sure that makes it harder though.

[Farrar]

Maybe at home, set him up at a table with a glue gun, tons of glue sticks, and whatever medium he needs to glue and let me explore?  Give him a bunch of tape and something to tape and let him experiment?   No pressure, no one looking over his shoulder, so he can just try different techniques on his own?  

 

This is basically what we do now though. And for awhile he was really in DIY badges and I thought it would really help him get better, but it just hasn't. It's like everything he turns out is sloppy. Which would be okay... except it's not in certain situations (like DI... but also, if he were to, say, want to enter a science fair, he wouldn't be able to make the board look half decent... things like that) and also he is dissatisfied, but won't take any advice.

[Carol in Cal.]

 

 

He is a little uncoordinated sometimes. Which is weird... because if you saw him dance, you wouldn't believe it.

 

 

 

But see, that's more a gross motor skill, whereas crafts involve fine motor skills.  So it's not uncommon for them to develop at different rates.

 

I'm trying to remember what helped me.  First, the problem--I was the youngest, smallest kid in my class.  I just couldn't even imagine doing the things the teacher wanted me to do when we had, say, pre-writing exercises.  I had to anchor my fist on the paper to be able to form a letter.  I was just always behind in this stuff.  It felt like the idea of doing a pullup now feels--I can't even imagine my body actually doing that.  I can't even picture what muscles would do it.

 

So when I got older, suddenly I had good handwriting (I don't remember how, but it happened) but I was still really convinced that I couldn't draw or design anything or make anything well.  Nothing I tried to draw ever looked anything like what it was supposed to.  I had to take a class that involved drawing in college, and I would get sick to my stomach every time I looked at the textbook--it was that bad. 

 

Then in my late twenties I got interested in weaving (the loom helps!), and subscribed to weaving magazines in which the authors would write about what inspired a specific design that they made, and then how they sampled and figured out how to realize their idea into reality.  I read these year in and year out for quite a while, but I still felt the same way about drawing.  But one thing they did was teach me how to really look at things, at colors and shapes and 3Dness, and picture how I would make something that reflected an inspiration, and gave me permission to sample before making the final piece.  And all the sudden after years of absorbing this without ever actually using it, I drew something and realized that I had learned how.

 

So based on that alone, I would say, what if you designed out loud with him, in conversation?  Over and over?  What if you talked about something you wanted to paint that wasn't turning out the way you thought it would, or a drawing that wasn't quite right, and then looked at the model and figured out out loud how to make them match?  Or went to a museum and talked about just one or two pieces of art, and how the artist did studies before making them?  Stuff like that?  Da Vinci, for instance, was a great one for that kind of thing, and there is tons of documentation of the many studies and sketches he would do before a final painting. 

 

Anyway, just a thought.  I wish someone had done that for me.

 

We had some of those old drawing books, and I also had some craft books, but I never could make the leaps from the models to the final drawing, or figure out the intermediate steps.  If someone had just told me what they were driving at, it would have been so much easier and faster to learn this stuff, but it was quite counterintuitive to me.

 

[Farrar]

But see, that's more a gross motor skill, whereas crafts involve fine motor skills.  So it's not uncommon for them to develop at different rates.

 

I'm trying to remember what helped me.  First, the problem--I was the youngest, smallest kid in my class.  I just couldn't even imagine doing the things the teacher wanted me to do when we had, say, pre-writing exercises.  I had to anchor my fist on the paper to be able to form a letter.  I was just always behind in this stuff.  It felt like the idea of doing a pullup now feels--I can't even imagine my body actually doing that.  I can't even picture what muscles would do it.

 

So when I got older, suddenly I had good handwriting (I don't remember how, but it happened) but I was still really convinced that I couldn't draw or design anything or make anything well.  Nothing I tried to draw ever looked anything like what it was supposed to.  I had to take a class that involved drawing in college, and I would get sick to my stomach every time I looked at the textbook--it was that bad. 

 

Then in my late twenties I got interested in weaving (the loom helps!), and subscribed to weaving magazines in which the authors would write about what inspired a specific design that they made, and then how they sampled and figured out how to realize their idea into reality.  I read these year in and year out for quite a while, but I still felt the same way about drawing.  But one thing they did was teach me how to really look at things, at colors and shapes and 3Dness, and picture how I would make something that reflected an inspiration, and gave me permission to sample before making the final piece.  And all the sudden after years of absorbing this without ever actually using it, I drew something and realized that I had learned how.

 

So based on that alone, I would say, what if you designed out loud with him, in conversation?  Over and over?  What if you talked about something you wanted to paint that wasn't turning out the way you thought it would, or a drawing that wasn't quite right, and then looked at the model and figured out out loud how to make them match?  Or went to a museum and talked about just one or two pieces of art, and how the artist did studies before making them?  Stuff like that?  Da Vinci, for instance, was a great one for that kind of thing, and there is tons of documentation of the many studies and sketches he would do before a final painting. 

 

Anyway, just a thought.  I wish someone had done that for me.

 

We had some of those old drawing books, and I also had some craft books, but I never could make the leaps from the models to the final drawing, or figure out the intermediate steps.  If someone had just told me what they were driving at, it would have been so much easier and faster to learn this stuff, but it was quite counterintuitive to me.

 

 

This is good. We do some of that with art in museums... but I don't talk art with him very often for me. Maybe he and I should do a major sewing project together. Since my own sewing skills are pretty basic, it might be a good experience for him to see me screw up too.

[drjuliadc]

Some some people with excellent gross motor skills have equally bad fine motor skills. It can be on a teeter totter for some people. The better one is, the worse the other is. I would consider someone who is good at ballet to have excellent gross motor skills.

 

Getting good at monkey bars can be one therapy for improving fine motor skills. I've heard that it is quite effective for improving handwriting.

[Sherry in OH]

 

 

For his own projects (like that cosplay thing) I just keep my mouth shut and praise his hard work and enjoyment if he liked it. But when he gets upset, he proclaims that he wants to be able to do this stuff better. Any thoughts about a way to teach or support these crafting skills sideways? Obviously, he's not going to take it head on. I almost feel like he needs a crafting curriculum. And he likes curriculum.

 

If he were willing to tackle it head on, Kumon craft books target cutting, pasting, and following written

instruction. The 3D paper craft workbooks do not have ages printed on the front cover.  

 

Usborne cut-out models or a Canon Paper Craft might appeal.  The Canon projects are beautiful.  Encourage him to start with a simple project and work up to the intricate ones. 

 

For a more sideways approach, consider origami or an adult coloring book.  

[winterbaby]

Origami is a very good idea. The books we have progress in difficulty level, which makes it kind of curriculum-like.

 

I would not just set him loose with materials. People who are struggling generally need a firm idea of what they're supposed to be doing. If anything the projects he's having trouble with are probably too free-form - do they even draw first? Find directions for well-defined projects with cardboard, etc., online or in books.

[wintermom]

Firstly, I think that as hard as it is for a mom to hear her beloved son receive honest comments about poor work, you did very well to not interfere. That is hard, for both you and your ds, but he'll learn and get better because it will come from his motivation. 

 

I'm not a "crafter" but isn't there a HUGE range of projects available? If tape and glue and scissor work are tough for your son, why not move into an area that he can use the skills that he does have. I love woodwork because the objects one makes are much more appealing to me than tape, glue and fabric (which I detest working with). I love to cut wood, use sandpaper, screws and nails and paint. 

 

If this was theatre, I'd say your ds might be a set building rather than costumes. But maybe there is a better area, too.

 

Instead of forcing this young man into a round peg, when he is obviously not round, work on finding the right fit for HIM. 

Edited May 4, 2017 by wintermom

[bibiche]

Bookmaking might be a good project, too. It has cutting, pasting, sewing and you need to be patient and exacting, but it is also fairly easy and you get a nice product and a sense of accomplishment at the end.  He could start with easy projects using Japanese stab binding and work up from there. What I like about bookmaking for older kids is that they get to practice basic skills, but it isn't babyish, so they don't feel like they are practicing basic skills. 

[HomeAgain]

@Farrar, well, it's 5 years later! 😂  Did your ds get better at his crafting efforts?

[knitgrl]

Ds8 generally does not enjoy art projects and resists them almost as a matter of course. His fine motor skills have always needed, uh, fine tuning. This year I am giving up on trying to make him do art projects and am going to try to make him do paper sloyd. I am grateful for CM folks, otherwise I would not even know it exists.

[Farrar]

22 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

@Farrar, well, it's 5 years later! 😂  Did your ds get better at his crafting efforts?

SO. Omg. I actually do have an interesting update to this question. Obviously this isn't the WHOLE story, but... Ds got glasses to correct the fact that his eyes had really different vision - one was slightly nearsighted and one was slightly farsighted. We debated whether it was necessary. They said they didn't see a convergence issue, but that he was in danger of developing a lazy eye. Anyway, after wearing the glasses for a year, he confided to me that all those times he couldn't cut or draw a straight line, it looked straight to him. He genuinely couldn't understand what was happening. The glasses seem to have retrained his eyes.

Now, the glue wasting he grew out of. Finally. Like, many years after other kids, but I'll take it.

The biting off more than he can chew and being a slob... those persist. And he's going to legally be an adult soon. So they're probably things he'll have to learn not from me at this point.

[Clarita]

@Farrar we need to know! Also, was it even necessary?

Even at the tender age of 5 I'm pretty sure my DS is going to be terrible at crafting. 

 

[HomeAgain]

16 minutes ago, Farrar said:

SO. Omg. I actually do have an interesting update to this question. Obviously this isn't the WHOLE story, but... Ds got glasses to correct the fact that his eyes had really different vision - one was slightly nearsighted and one was slightly farsighted. We debated whether it was necessary. They said they didn't see a convergence issue, but that he was in danger of developing a lazy eye. Anyway, after wearing the glasses for a year, he confided to me that all those times he couldn't cut or draw a straight line, it looked straight to him. He genuinely couldn't understand what was happening. The glasses seem to have retrained his eyes.

Now, the glue wasting he grew out of. Finally. Like, many years after other kids, but I'll take it.

The biting off more than he can chew and being a slob... those persist. And he's going to legally be an adult soon. So they're probably things he'll have to learn not from me at this point.

Oh, I'm so glad about the glasses!  It's crazy how such a small thing can make a huge difference.  DS23 had glasses prescribed for years because of one eye that was really bad.  The child would LOOK OVER THEM.  Never through the lenses.  Drove me nuts!  I took him to get contacts at age 17 and as soon as he popped it in over his bad eye, he was amazed at how much clearer everything was.  The glasses were so heavy that he never wanted to push them up and he was always annoyed by them.  Had I known how much of a difference contacts would have made I would have pushed them on him a lot sooner.