s/o Volunteering in the Homeschool World. Has it changed?

[FaithManor]

Teachermom2834 also makes a valid point that the homeschooling pool is more diverse than it may have been early on, and with that comes the issue of like mindedness. For those that see homeschool group as an opportunity for their families to only it interact with people of the same beliefs lifestyle, a homeschool group serves a purpose so long as it remains exclusive. But if the pool from which a group is drawing becomes more diverse, and sees homeschool group as serving an entirely different purpose, then finding volunteers is going to be tougher, or at least volunteers who value the same things. Someone may participate in order to have homeschool basketball, but not be interested in volunteering because they are not supportive of some of the policies, or they do not otherwise socialize with the other families due to lifestyle differences which would come up if the parent took on a leadership role, etc.

 

It is all rather complicated. I do think the social issue comes into play. Two decades ago when homeschooling was fringe, and some people felt almost shunned, homeschool groups and co ops were probably lifelines for social outlet, and finding friends. Now it is so common and normal, that people do not need it in order to have a social outlet or make friends. Most of my friends IRL are not homeschooling, and my kids hang out with mostly publicly schooled kids. So with the added option of DE, and online coursework or tutoring if I need to outsource something, there just isn't any reason for us to seek out a homeschool group.

Edited April 27, 2017 by FaithManor

[LucyStoner]

I didn't see that at all. The recession caused a downturn in volunteers bc so many didn't have the time or money they once had. Even unemployed means working constantly to find a job and not being able to commit for fear of an interview conflict.

 

I said, "at least around here".  I am going to hazard to guess that the economic and philanthropic landscapes where we each live are fairly different.  Here, a lot of secondary earners, new graduates or those who returned to school for additional education added volunteer gigs to beef up their references and resumes.  Volunteerism (and philanthropy in general) can be fueled as much by self-interest as goodwill.  This is not merely anecdotal.  The slight bump up didn't last around here or nationwide and volunteerism, over the long haul, is not really up or down with the noticeable exception of increasing rates of teen and older adult volunteerism. 

 

Neither 9/11 or the great recession(which each pushed up volunteer hours) resulted in sustained increases in the number of hours.  

[Bluegoat]

Generally speaking I'm not sure if it's a reduction in volunteering so much as an adjustment back to volunteer levels pre-great recession. At least around here, there were a larger number of talented and qualified people who were unemployed or underemployed at some point between 2007 and 2014 or so. Volunteer levels exploded during the recession. Now employment is much eaiser to come by in many sectors and people have less free time.

 

Yeah, that blip seems to be crashing.  I believe rates of volunteerism have been falling for longer than that, though, for about as long as civic group membership has been dropping.  I can't find any numbers on that at the moment so I am just going by what I remember reading.  But it makes sense to me that as more people are in paid work, less will be able to volunteer.

 

I did read something that I thought was interesting though - in the recent fall of of volunteers one group that had supposedly been reliable in the past - the highly educated - has really fallen off.

 

I wonder of it isn't related to an increasingly insecure job market.

[Vida Winter]

I will definitely be pulling out of my multitude of homeschool volunteer positions after this term. There are a few I will keep but they will be non-academic. I want to focus solely on my own children.

[rebbyribs]

Me too. I hear all that. And if they just don't want to volunteer? That's fine. Don't then. But that means they opt out of a say in anything about how other people are doing it. Put up or shut up.

 

And I take that to heart bc that's exactly what I do. Either I pitch in or I shut up and just say thank you. Or I stay out of it entirely.

 

It doesn't matter if another mom with a newborn and 4 other kids under 6 can do it. I used to be that mom. And I've decided I would have been better off if I hadn't been that busy and over committed. More importantly, I think my kids would have been. So I just say no a lot more than I did when I started home schooling 17 years ago. I'd rather give an honest no than a yes I can't keep.

 

HOW did you do it?  I've stayed out of groups for anything more involved than park days because I have no idea how I could help out and pull my weight while taking care of the baby and a couple of preschoolers.  Often it seems that children who aren't the target age for a particular activity are not welcome and parental participation is expected.

[Arcadia]

The homeschool support groups I am in are more of play dates for parents and kids. So there is no obligations there.

 

We didn't join any homeschool co-op.

 

I did read something that I thought was interesting though - in the recent fall of of volunteers one group that had supposedly been reliable in the past - the highly educated - has really fallen off.

 

I wonder of it isn't related to an increasingly insecure job market.

I think it is a combination of

1) insecure job market where many who re-enter the workforce during the recession do not dare to go back to being a SAHM in case their husbands are retrenched again.

2) lack of pension schemes. My mom is well provided by my dad's pension and health benefits so she can volunteer instead of working to build their retirement funds. If my dad were to pass first, their current retirement funds would be able to tide her over. My husband however doesn't have a pension so I am looking at rejoining the workforce full time once my youngest is in college. My husband has worked at crappy places just so we can continue homeschooling and it won't be fair for me to stay home and do nothing to help when kids are launched while he continues to work and worry over retrenchment and retirement savings if I could get a job.

 

I was thinking of volunteering when kids are in school and I did volunteer work when my kids were in public school. Now I am just too exhausted. If my kids go back to school, I would volunteer again at school but would also probably look for part time work.

[Guest]

I will definitely be pulling out of my multitude of homeschool volunteer positions after this term. There are a few I will keep but they will be non-academic. I want to focus solely on my own children.

That's where we are at. I'm finally mastering the art of saying no and preserving my limited energy and sanity for the few excellent things we really want to do.

[FaithManor]

That's where we are at. I'm finally mastering the art of saying no and preserving my limited energy and sanity for the few excellent things we really want to do.

((Hugs)) if I lived near you, I would help homeschool your kiddies so you could snuggle up Bennie, and recoup your health.

 

Go to it Arctic. Circle those wagons!

[LucyStoner]

Yeah, that blip seems to be crashing. I believe rates of volunteerism have been falling for longer than that, though, for about as long as civic group membership has been dropping. I can't find any numbers on that at the moment so I am just going by what I remember reading. But it makes sense to me that as more people are in paid work, less will be able to volunteer.

 

I did read something that I thought was interesting though - in the recent fall of of volunteers one group that had supposedly been reliable in the past - the highly educated - has really fallen off.

 

I wonder of it isn't related to an increasingly insecure job market.

The shift away from the traditional civic organizations doesn't mean volunteer rates are falling precipitously. Sure, I'm not joining the Junior League and my husband is not joining the Elks but we have our own venues for volunteering, ones that don't require teas or hats. We are not alone in this and are entering the age group that has consistently volunteered the most.

 

If you go back a decade plus, to the post 9/11 bump, volunteer rates have fallen. If you look at 40 years, not so much. Shifts? Yes. Great declines? Not really.

Edited April 27, 2017 by LucyStoner

[mouse removal]

I don't volunteer anymore because when we started home schooling 9 years ago, I worked twenty hours a week and had two younger kids. I volunteered to teach at the co-op, organized activities, and field trips. I volunteered to help new parents with the regs and volunteered for panels to discuss homeschooling and working. Now, I work 32-40 hours a week on night shift, I'm homeschooling two kids, foster another, and I'm a single mother. I volunteer at a free clinic providing healthcare for uninsured patients and for a political organization. I severely limit any other commitments. My kids are active in 4 H and one other activity, I'm very upfront about about my inability to help out beyond paying dues, attending meetings, and being with my kids when we volunteer as a family. Luckily, other parents are able to step because I simply have no more time or energy.

[Murphy101]

HOW did you do it? I've stayed out of groups for anything more involved than park days because I have no idea how I could help out and pull my weight while taking care of the baby and a couple of preschoolers. Often it seems that children who aren't the target age for a particular activity are not welcome and parental participation is expected.

If we were welcome, then we all went. For most of my marriage I've had babies and one car and a husband that traveled. Um. Like now. So the whole "this is just a phase of motherhood" comments about having to stay home with little ones would have meant I basicly did nothing with kids in tow for 25 years. I decided early on that that was not an option. Taking all my kids everywhere is just what I got used to doing and I figured it out and managed. When you don't have much of a choice, it's amazing how well you can develop coping strategies. And I don't regret deciding upon that general philosophy bc it meant I didn't live in isolation for most of my children's young years, which is a really common problem for young mothers during early childhood. But the most valuable things I did weren't in coops and classes and field trips. It was having another young family over for coffee. It was going to mass even when I didn't feel like it. It was park days and festivals. Now that I can look back and see what gave fruit and what didn't, it's easier to not feel pressure and guilt for not doing stuff that didn't benefit us.

[Murphy101]

I said, "at least around here". I am going to hazard to guess that the economic and philanthropic landscapes where we each live are fairly different. Here, a lot of secondary earners, new graduates or those who returned to school for additional education added volunteer gigs to beef up their references and resumes. Volunteerism (and philanthropy in general) can be fueled as much by self-interest as goodwill. This is not merely anecdotal. The slight bump up didn't last around here or nationwide and volunteerism, over the long haul, is not really up or down with the noticeable exception of increasing rates of teen and older adult volunteerism.

 

Neither 9/11 or the great recession(which each pushed up volunteer hours) resulted in sustained increases in the number of hours.

I wasn't saying you were wrong. I was just saying that's not what I'm seeing here. Here there was/is a lot of "we are having to cut back bc" and various things related to job insecurity or job seeking uncertainty.

[*****]

I homeschooled for 12 years and have been out of it for 3. That first year, I volunteered at a small local homeschool convention.  All ready to give back and 'share' my knowledge by being there for anyone who needed guidance with curriculum or had questions in general, I felt the shift immediately as fairfarmhand described.  

 

We were the type who would listen in on any conversation that was going on, just so we could absorb knowledge of how to, and  who can tell us the 'best' materials we should purchase.We conversed with one another, and made friendships or acquaintances.  Even though I live 50 miles from the largest city, when I go there, I still run into these acquaintances--and guess what--we talk, face-to-face and catch up on what each other's family is doing. (Hmmmmm, maybe part of that shift has to do with technology and social media...maybe these new ones have lost something to the art of talking face-to-face...that was something we didn't have when our kids were in their youngest years).  Something to think about...

 

Then again last summer, I had a booth to sell at the curriculum fair, again, 50 miles away.   I got the same feeling.  We used to chat like hens with each other...these gals nowadays...they weren't interested in thinking through the curriculum or problem solving on the 'how-to's.  They came in, expected a bargain, and left.  Sadly for them, they are not getting that community spirit where they can gain so much from each other. 

 

As homeschoolers, we were part of a co-op at one time or another. We also got involved in the parent partnerships with the schools.  If this is a direct consequence of the shift in homeschooling, I am sorry we encouraged it.  

 

I am so thankful, however, that I homeschooled in the era that I did. Those were the greatest days in our child-rearing years.  But, things cycle around. My girls were so thankful they were homeschooled, so hopefully, by the time they raise their families, they will be pioneers in the way we were, bringing the 'good old ways' back to teaching at home in a more supportive way than now.   Great topic and observation...I thought it was just me seeing these things. 

[regentrude]

Then again last summer, I had a booth to sell at the curriculum fair, again, 50 miles away.   I got the same feeling.  We used to chat like hens with each other...these gals nowadays...they weren't interested in thinking through the curriculum or problem solving on the 'how-to's.  They came in, expected a bargain, and left.  Sadly for them, they are not getting that community spirit where they can gain so much from each other.

 

This sounds very judgmental. How can you know that they are not part of communities and are getting community spirit in their community?

 If I were going to a curriculum fair, I would have researched curriculum and done plenty of thinking about it beforehand, would have known exactly what I want, looked whether that was available, and left when it wasn't. 

 

The fact that they did not treat the curriculum fair as an event for socializing does not mean they are not interested in thinking through curriculum or not interested in community. 

 

 

Even though I live 50 miles from the largest city, when I go there, I still run into these acquaintances--and guess what--we talk, face-to-face and catch up on what each other's family is doing. (Hmmmmm, maybe part of that shift has to do with technology and social media...maybe these new ones have lost something to the art of talking face-to-face.

 

The bolded is a ridiculous claim. Of course younger people communicate face to face. They have friendships and acquaintances. Why would you think they don't?

Edited April 27, 2017 by regentrude

[Murphy101]

This is my problem. Most of the hs moms I know have family in town or older kids that will watch their littles. When I signed oldest up for a chem class at co-op it was expected I take a turn as an inclass aid. No way I can safely do that with a two year old on my hip. I offered to pay someone to take my turn but the teacher said oh, no, it's no big deal. I think it must have been to some of the other moms though bc when ithe main teacher had to quit mid year due to personal issues none of the other moms would return my emails. :(

At this point I no longer care to be involved in pretty much any group.

I have older ones now and they almost never baby sit. Because they volunteer. Because they have jobs. Because they have college classes. So here I am still taking my younger kids everywhere with me.

[HS Mom in NC]

This is my problem. Most of the hs moms I know have family in town or older kids that will watch their littles. When I signed oldest up for a chem class at co-op it was expected I take a turn as an inclass aid. No way I can safely do that with a two year old on my hip. I offered to pay someone to take my turn but the teacher said oh, no, it's no big deal. I think it must have been to some of the other moms though bc when ithe main teacher had to quit mid year due to personal issues none of the other moms would return my emails. :(

At this point I no longer care to be involved in pretty much any group.

It seems to me that a position for an adult or two supervising younger siblings is something a chem class co-op needs each time they meet. I've noticed that sometimes people running the show are so focused on their own family make up that they forget other families are made up differently.  When we did an American Girl co-op for 30 families, we not only needed pairs of committed volunteers and back ups to lead the book discussions, games, crafts, and snacks based on the books, we needed a list of parents who supervised the siblings too young or not interested to participate in some indoor play and others for outdoor play. 

 

I once got an invitation to a group where the kids would perform their recitations of poetry for each other. It was targeted to 1-3rd graders.  Then I had to go and ruin it by asking practical questions like what the siblings out of the target age range would be doing at the venue and who would be supervising them.  It was cancelled.  

 

Later I started hosting annual fancy dress up Valentine's Day Tea Parties where the kids who came could exchange valentines and provide entertainment for each other by reciting a poem, playing a tune, or singing a song.  Wee ones and very physically active kids and brothers could play outside (the weather is beautiful here in Feb. most of the time) with adult supervision during the entertainment portion.

[Guest]

((Hugs)) if I lived near you, I would help homeschool your kiddies so you could snuggle up Bennie, and recoup your health.

 

Go to it Arctic. Circle those wagons!

You're so sweet :). I can't tell you how glad I am to have ramped a bunch of stuff down in the year before he was born. That was God saving me from all sorts of burnout craziness. The health thing is dodgy still but I'm definitely getting lots of baby snuggles. He can't really handle being put down much but since he may well be the last one I'm enjoying the fuzzy baby hair and burbling laughs as much as humanly possible. So long as I let cleaning go we are even getting school AND decent food done most days now.

 

And my Instant Pot arrived this afternoon. I'm totally trying porridge in it tonight on the delay setting :D

 

But if you were closer I'd take you up on all sorts of help *and* pay you well for piano for the kiddos. I still can't believe how often you get grief about that. Sheesh.

[HS Mom in NC]

Also, for the sake of disclosure, I should mention that youngest attends a homeschool enrichment program at a public school twice a week. Why?  Because I want a weekly option that I know would be available all year round.  I have lots of daily schedules and classes to choose from.  The teachers won't flake out.  The venue won't change.  It will start and end on time.  They don't have to cave to pressure from annoyingparents.  It is what it is.  Take it or leave it.  That's not always the case with homeschool co-ops.

Here's the link if you're wondering about details: http://www.mpsaz.org/EAGLERIDGE

[JennyD]

 Two decades ago when homeschooling was fringe, and some people felt almost shunned, homeschool groups and co ops were probably lifelines for social outlet, and finding friends. Now it is so common and normal, that people do not need it in order to have a social outlet or make friends. Most of my friends IRL are not homeschooling, and my kids hang out with mostly publicly schooled kids. So with the added option of DE, and online coursework or tutoring if I need to outsource something, there just isn't any reason for us to seek out a homeschool group.

 

This makes sense to me.  I have nothing against homeschool groups but we've just never gotten involved in any, and most of our friends are not homeschoolers.   DH and I do a ton of volunteer work but none of it is related to homeschooling.  

[*****]

Regentrude,

 

I don't mean to be judgmental, I was just supporting an observation that Fairfarmhand made and that many others supported. Forgive me if my wording was wrong or offensive.  Like Fairfarmhand said, she was not trying to stir up anything by starting this thread, just making an observation and wondering. 

 

I have very fond memories of curriculum sales: the excitement of good finds, meeting new people, talking about what is working for each other and what wasn't, seeing handmade items made by the children who were selling their wares to make a little money and learning about a cottage industry. It wasn't just about buying that book that was needed. Believe me, I want this kind of excitement for homeschooling families to continue.

It just doesn't look the same, or the vibes seem different, as we had experienced it, that's all.  And it is interesting, that since we don't live in the same area, that others are making the same observations of some homeschoolers, not all, these days. 

[Peaceseeker]

Well I will just admit to being completely selfish right now and say that I am sick to death of everyone wanting a piece of me. I just pay for extra-curriculars and teach my children myself or choose to pay for an outsourced class for the most part. If it is going to be more of the same, I may just not do 4-H or scouts or other volunteer heavy, inexpensive activities in the future. I have had seasons of volunteering but this isn't one of them. Honestly if one more person asks one more thing of me I might just break.

 

So just know there are some of us who are more fragile, whether you get it or not. I am not some alpha, type A, supermom who can homeschool my kids, work part time outside the home, keep my home running smoothly with cooking, cleaning, and errands, chauffeur my kids to all their activities, run a scout troop, and head various church committees. Um, no. Barely holding my crazy life together.

 

My husband is taking a turn teaching a class at our enrichment coop just to take something off my plate and check the box that we did a turn. It is our last volunteer driven, small fee activity. Honestly I wish they would just charge more and not run it as a ministry. I would be a blatant consumer in a heartbeat and much prefer it to giving anymore of my time. I would like a minute in my week to remember I am a person with needs too.

 

When I have volunteered in the past I felt no resentment towards the mother with three under 5 barely hanging on and not organizing field trips. I think if people volunteer they should do it without resentment. It should be a free gift. If volunteering makes you feel resentful towards others, then I think it's kind of missing the point and time to take a break. If I were to volunteer right now, I would not have a very good attitude about it. Yet another reason I am not going to volunteer. I have been a giver most of my life. Right now I feel like it is my time to be a taker. Because - circle of life and all.

 

If this sounds snarky I apologize. I am usually a very nice person. I am just overwhelmed and exhausted tonight and I should probably get off these boards and head to bed!

Edited April 27, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[fairfarmhand]

Well I will just admit to being completely selfish right now and say that I am sick to death of everyone wanting a piece of me. I just pay for extra-curriculars and teach my children myself or choose to pay for an outsourced class for the most part. If it is going to be more of the same, I may just not do 4-H or scouts or other volunteer heavy, inexpensive activities in the future. I have had seasons of volunteering but this isn't one of them. Honestly if one more person asks one more thing of me I might just break.

 

So just know there are some of us who are more fragile, whether you get it or not. I am not some alpha, type A, supermom who can homeschool my kids, work part time outside the home, keep my home running smoothly with cooking, cleaning, and errands, chauffeur my kids to all their activities, run a scout troop, and head various church committees. Um, no. Barely holding my crazy life together.

 

My husband is taking a turn teaching a class at our enrichment coop just to take something off my plate and check the box that we did a turn. It is our last volunteer driven, small fee activity. Honestly I wish they would just charge more and not run it as a ministry. I would be a blatant consumer in a heartbeat and much prefer it to giving anymore of my time. I would like a minute in my week to remember I am a person with needs too.

 

When I have volunteered in the past I felt no resentment towards the mother with three under 5 barely hanging on and not organizing field trips. I think if people volunteer they should do it without resentment. It should be a free gift. If volunteering makes you feel resentful towards others, then I think it's kind of missing the point and time to take a break. If I were to volunteer right now, I would not have a very good attitude about it. Yet another reason I am not going to volunteer. I have been a giver most of my life. Right now I feel like it is my time to be a taker. Because - circle of life and all.

 

If this sounds snarky I apologize. I am usually a very nice person. I am just overwhelmed and exhausted tonight and I should probably get off these boards and head to bed!

No offense taken. I've had and still have times like this. When you're stretched thin. And some years we did very little because I was not able to participate in a way that I'd feel comfortable with. I would've felt that I was taking advantage. Those years I didn't have money either to pay my way so we did without those activities. In fact to many parents who aren't in some of my groups they may think I do little. Like for my dds ahg group. I pay the fees and help where I can but most of the time not able. But I volunteer actively in other areas teaching classes for free or low cost. But it doesn't always show. So I totally understand!

 

I think what most of us are referring to are the people who use free or low cost classes and never step up. I get busy seasons. Everyone's baby and toddler years are different and I did little during those years cause I really stink at juggling them. But when my kids got older or when there was provided childcare I'd try.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MeaganS]

A haven't read all responses, but I had a thought. I know, for me, I'm not allowed to contribute to the coop we attend by teaching classes, subbing, or being in leadership because I can't in good conscience sign the statement of faith. They allow my children to attend, but to be involved requires the SoF. I know this isn't the case all the time (and probably not a majority of the time), but it is definitely a factor for me. When the group is of a different religion or has a statement of faith, it can be very limiting or intimidating to get involved because you already feel an outsider. And many are religion-based.

 

Also there seems to be an expectation that extraneous children aren't allowed at things. Since I literally have to have all my children with me all the time (dh's schedule is awful), I've often passed up volunteer opportunities I'd otherwise have been happy to take. So it is possible this is a factor as well. This is more in the single-aged child activities than the multi-aged child groups, but I think this is also an expectation of society in general that has become more prevalent.

 

Lots of other factors, but these are two I've personally run into. They don't stop me from volunteering at church, but they have very much limited my volunteering in the homeschooling world.

Edited April 27, 2017 by Meagan S

[fairfarmhand]

maybe part of this dynamic too is that some families homeschool for just a year or two or three and are still finding their footing for the first litte bit (say perhaps to avoid middle school). By the time they hit a stride where they can handle a leadership or volunteer position, mom has to go back to work or the kids are going back to school.

 

Homeschooling is less seen as a lifetime choice than a solution that can be decided year by year. (not saying that's a bad thing.) This is likely because as it's more mainstream, you can worry less that your child's grades and credits will be accepted by other schools. And that's what long time, lifetime homeschoolers have fought for. Yet, there's been this unexpected consequence---it's harder to find long time homeschoolers or those who are going to stick it out for the whole of their kids' school careers. I can't tell you how hard it was on my middle schooler where over the period of about 3 years, every single one of her homeschooling friends ended up in a traditional classroom, and she was left without a friend group. This was a group of 5 or so families that comprised all of her close friends. Many of the moms who homeschooled from k-5th grade NEEDED to go back to work.

[fairfarmhand]

We used to have support groups, not de facto schools. Of course, running a day school is harder than meeting up for a park or gym day. I'd never attempt it with volunteers. I'd want trained and capable persons, who were compensated for their time, running the institution without having to rely upon the goodwill and responsibility of parent volunteers. I realize I've just described a traditional school...

 

This is why I don't co-op. The passionate skilled teachers would make a great experience. Others who aren't so good might end up being in a particular position by default. And with my luck, my kids would end up in the default teacher's class. :) You just never know how it will turn out.

[fairfarmhand]

I'm in a co-op now where the leadership is always complaining that they don't get enough help, but they also won't communicate what they need. I have said over and over that if they tell me what they want done, I will do it. I've said it multiple times to multiple people. They didn't ask anyone to be on the leadership committee except the people in their little clique. We won't be going back next year

I've run into this too. I don't understand it. Some leadership groups just can't get their acts together in that regard.

 

It drives me crazy. Leadership would complain about being too overcommitted, or would do things just at the last minute and then be upset that others don't step up.

 

Like if you send out the email that field trip money is due tomorrow for next week's field trip and it's 10 pm on a Sunday night, don't be surprised if people decline to participate. Because of lost/uncashed checks (another frustration!) with many parent led organizations, we use cash for such things.I'm not racing to the bank at 8 am before our  meeting at 9 am because I had no idea it was coming. My kids ended up not doing field trips because of this, and leadership was frustrated "We're trying to plan fun stuff, but nobody participates!" But boys howdy..give people a heads up what is coming!

 

HOW did you do it?  I've stayed out of groups for anything more involved than park days because I have no idea how I could help out and pull my weight while taking care of the baby and a couple of preschoolers.  Often it seems that children who aren't the target age for a particular activity are not welcome and parental participation is expected.

 

As a leader and a planner of many older kid activities, I tend to offer other options for parents of littles. I love the teaching and interacting with the students. I hate the emailing, calling, picking up supplies, and stuff. I offer that to parents to help me.

 

In my drama class, I actually like to do the teaching myself. It's just a dozen or so of really good kids who work well together, so I don't really need another adult all the time. I do have one on call when something comes up, like sickness, and I can't be there.

 

But I do have the parents do the reception planning, costume shopping, prop hunting, and those other kinds of things.

[Rebel Yell]

this might not answer the original question, but I really wish people would use a term other than "volunteer." Volunteer is something you do freely and willingly. I'm certain that many people do! But it also implies that it is optional. No one is required to volunteer at a food pantry, the library, etc.

 

Call it something like "required parent commitment" "required minimum family time contribution" or anything... Because if it's truly a requirement, it isn't volunteering, it is just unpaid work that has to be done.

 

I have personally been discouraged trying to volunteer when there was zero possibility of any new input for streamlining or improvements. Of course I don't think every person working should reinvent the wheel and make it what they want it to be, but neither should all rules and procedures remain in place because somebody who started the group 25 years ago didn't want boys with earrings or girls with b00ks in the classes.

 

I mean, when I "took over" planning for a family night, I did appreciate the very organized list of exactly what to requests for food donations- all the way down to exactly how many pineapples were needed, but goodness! Why couldn't we add hummous to the menu?

 

Which makes me realize that many people don't know how to effectively oversee a volunteer-run organization, how to delegate, and most importantly, how to give the 'volunteers' freedom and flexibility in doing their work while also ensuring that the necessary work gets done. Rules I've seen have been either so precise that they're more focused on dress codes than classroom or event management, or so vague that you have no idea if it's a classroom or a play date.

[MomsintheGarden]

I have definitely seen a shift in the homeschooling paradigm over the 20+ years I've been doing this.  The new families seem more comfortable with a paraschool type structure.  Many, many of the parents I know are very involved with their children's education.  Many others' involvement consists of shuttling their children around to the huge assortment of expensive classes and activities.  A lot of these are so-so in quality, but some are stellar - and everyone knows which are which!

 

Our homeschool speech and debate league has a high level of parent involvement because it's still a grassroots type of organization, and it's required.  That said, some are more involved than others.  I'm ok with that as long as the parents provide the stated minimum of working certain tournament jobs, helping clean up, judging, etc.  I've only known one mom who was belligerent in her non-participation.  She's gone now.  :)

[catz]

Well I will just admit to being completely selfish right now and say that I am sick to death of everyone wanting a piece of me. I just pay for extra-curriculars and teach my children myself or choose to pay for an outsourced class for the most part. If it is going to be more of the same, I may just not do 4-H or scouts or other volunteer heavy, inexpensive activities in the future. I have had seasons of volunteering but this isn't one of them. Honestly if one more person asks one more thing of me I might just break.

 

I think this is a fair choice!  No shame in that at all.   We will be shifting to more of this next year.  Most of the activities my kids do now are paid/drop off kind of things.

 

I am involved at leadership at a co-op.  However, it is a non-traditional co-op in that you do pay a membership fee (covers insurance and rent of our space) and teachers are paid (community ed levels - about 1/2-2/3 of the price of a more professional class).  Most classes are "expert" taught by degreed individuals in their area.  Not all the teachers are licensed/trained teachers though.  We are secular co-op.  We have a HUGE percentage of GT, 2E, LD quirky kids in our population.  The board and leadership is volunteer run.  Kids have choose to have a free period and stay on sight.  We target primarily older kids age 12+ and allow some 9-11 year old siblings.  Anyway - I'm just pretty much over people treating this like a school.  People flounce and leave if asked to volunteer.  Next year there will be a membership agreement spelled out so everyone understands we're not a flipping school.  If you want the amenities of a school and someone to complain to, sign your kid up for a school.  Otherwise, roll up your sleeves.  We're a drop off option so we get parents who want to dump their kid off while they work and a zillion requests for age exceptions.  No your 7-9 year old is not a peer to the average kid at our co-op - average age being 14.  And we're not going to be liable for that kid.  I don't care if said kid reads Shakespeare and does calculus for fun.  And by the way, the HG-PG kids here age 12+ want to hang with teens.   I've received e-mails from parents of toddlers asking me to compare it to 30K tuition private schools with marketing departments.  Give me a break.  Before you consider homeschooling spend a couple hours researching and reading. 

 

I regularly set up theater field trips.  You'd think that would be simple.  I got so many late payments and weird requests and ignored e-mails on my last field trip, I decided I was done for the year. 

 

In groups or activities run by volunteers, I really think you can

• Accept it as it is
• Decide it's not a fit for you and move on
• Make changes from within by volunteering your time and energies and really getting to know the other families.

I'm so over people coming down on volunteer's heads.  I've seen some beloved homeschooling community friends completely fry and quit volunteering this year and I'm right behind them.  If you don't want to pitch in, do not seek out a co-op or support group or activities like scouts or 4-H.

[fairfarmhand]

 

In groups or activities run by volunteers, I really think you can

• Accept it as it is
• Decide it's not a fit for you and move on
• Make changes from within by volunteering your time and energies and really getting to know the other families.

I'm so over people coming down on volunteer's heads.  I've seen some beloved homeschooling community friends completely fry and quit volunteering this year and I'm right behind them.  If you don't want to pitch in, do not seek out a co-op or support group or activities like scouts or 4-H.

And Woolysocks wins the day.

 

This is it.

[catz]

And Woolysocks wins the day.

 

This is it.

 

:lol: In solidarity, sister!  :001_wub:

[Arcadia]

At one non-profit that my kids participated in, parents with younger kids help out at the "childcare room" as babysitters so other parents who are helping as teacher aides could have someone keeping an eye on their toddler. For example when my kids first participated, a parent who volunteered has a 9, 7 and 4 year old children. So she put her then 4 year old in the childcare room if her husband wasn't free and go help out in the classrooms as a teacher aide. Her older kids are in class. She is a credentialed teacher so she sometimes substitute for a main teacher who is sick. The locations did have space for a childcare room though. My kids teachers are great and the teacher for the younger kids would not have been able to teach for a low rate if there wasn't free childcare for his kid as his wife works irregular hours.

[Dmmetler]

What I'm seeing is a migration. That is, the co-op that I helped to start has since died because we're all now at a place where it doesn't serve us or our kids. For DD, that's because she started college classes, for other families it's because they have sports or dance commitments, or other outside classes, or the kids have gone back to PS high school. The homeschool group I had a leadership role in is far diminished, down to mostly being a FB group announcing the occasional park day or other meet-up.

 

But there are at least three or four new co-ops that serve the same niche for families with elementary/middle school kids to get together and do the fun/messy stuff as a group, plus parties and the like. There are also more "tutorials" and drop-off stuff than ever before, which means that high school co-ops and the like that existed when we started aren't there anymore. The migration has happened to paid classes vs a group of parents getting together and trading skills in their areas of strengths in a more "barter" system vs a "pay to play" system.

 

I don't think there are fewer volunteers-I think it's simply that instead of finding an existing group, new folks seem to create their own-and volunteer there, so when the old guard backs away or their kids graduate, the existing groups fold.

 

 

 

[Carol in Cal.]

I've noticed that around here the coops and groups that work best are more or less 'one thing'.

Either they involve a day or two per week of academic classes, or a day per week of social-emotional group classes, or a day per week of something that works best in groups or is difficult for parents to manage to actually do, like outdoor ed.

 

Or they are geared toward park days ONLY.  Or field trip critical mass gathering ONLY.  Or lab science classes ONLY.

 

The ones that either fail or become unbearably schoolish are the ones that try to be support, academic, field trip, park day, and outdoor ed.  

[Dmmetler]

I've run into this too. I don't understand it. Some leadership groups just can't get their acts together in that regard.

 

It drives me crazy. Leadership would complain about being too overcommitted, or would do things just at the last minute and then be upset that others don't step up.

 

Like if you send out the email that field trip money is due tomorrow for next week's field trip and it's 10 pm on a Sunday night, don't be surprised if people decline to participate. Because of lost/uncashed checks (another frustration!) with many parent led organizations, we use cash for such things.I'm not racing to the bank at 8 am before our  meeting at 9 am because I had no idea it was coming. My kids ended up not doing field trips because of this, and leadership was frustrated "We're trying to plan fun stuff, but nobody participates!" But boys howdy..give people a heads up what is coming!

 

 

As a leader and a planner of many older kid activities, I tend to offer other options for parents of littles. I love the teaching and interacting with the students. I hate the emailing, calling, picking up supplies, and stuff. I offer that to parents to help me.

 

In my drama class, I actually like to do the teaching myself. It's just a dozen or so of really good kids who work well together, so I don't really need another adult all the time. I do have one on call when something comes up, like sickness, and I can't be there.

 

But I do have the parents do the reception planning, costume shopping, prop hunting, and those other kinds of things.

 

What I do for my clubs is to not allow parents to drop off without prior permission (which only will come if I know your family and your kids and that your kids will actively participate). If your younger (or older) child does not actively participate, they are welcome to build with legos or go outside on the swing set while the kids give their vocabulary presentations, play games, and do activities-but it is up to you to supervise them. I also always have some component that needs to be done at home for almost all or all meetings, and if you're not prepared, well, you can participate by listening and watching-but I'm not going to allow time for you to build your bridge or whatever during club time. You'll just have to watch while the people who are prepared test theirs.

 

And if a group isn't serving my child's needs anymore, like when DD decided she was done with the NME, or when she decided that she didn't like effectively teaching math club vs being able to do problems as a group because her level was too far off of the kids who participated, we move on to something else. Don't whine to me that "Oh, I was counting on that for next year".

 

[fairfarmhand]

So here;s another couple of questions:

 

Those who lead groups that work okay.

 

What parameters do you set up to ensure that things go smoothly?

 

 

 

Personally, when I'm leading a group, I am very upfront about parental involvement. My introductory email always includes "We will start on time, and end on time. Please have your child prepared for each class. I need parents' help for a, b, and c. If you have small children, here are the arrangements that I prefer."

 

I also tend to hand pick families that I will do things academically with. I know the parents, I know the kids. I know how committed they tend to be. I feel comfortable calling moms and speaking to them about problems. Sounds snobbish, I know, but that's not my intention. I just don't have enough time to waste planning activities for a group if half the people involved can't be bothered to show up or be prepared.

 

I tend to do smaller group activities. I doubt how good I'd be at managing a large co-op.

 

We don't really do much academic stuff any more with other families because we're all studying different things at different levels. Besides, my kids would prefer to get  together to hang out and do fun stuff. In the words of one of my dds "Why waste friend time with learning?"

[Carol in Cal.]

Speaking of dropping off, some parents are really nutsy when it comes to asking for special favors.

 

I hosted a birthday party for DD at a community center.  She was 4 or 5, and the place was wide open.  It was a families together party, clearly, not a drop off one.  There was plenty of food for adults as well as kids, and crafts, and a wide open grassy field, picnic tables under the trees, and we hired a bouncy house.

 

This woman called me the morning of the party to ask whether she could drop off her daughter.  I said that I couldn't watch any other kids because I was handling all the crafts and cooking, but that if one of the other parents agreed to be responsible for her, that was just fine, but that I couldn't arrange it at that late notice.  She argued about this for 10 minutes.  Then she wanted to know what time we were finishing up.  Now, I am famous for never specifying a definite end time to anything, because my view is that if people are having fun, why would we stop?  I told her that the bouncy house folks were coming by to pick up the house at a certain time, but that we might stay longer, that it was hard to say, and that I had enough food for both lunch and dinner, not to worry.  It turned out that what she was worried about was pulling her daughter out of having fun when others were continuing.  So she pressed me to set a time that I would definitely stop the party, so that her daughter would not feel back if she was picked up but everyone else was sticking around longer.  She wanted me to change my plans to a definite end time so that she would not have to either A)  Come and stick around for a bit until things broke up naturally or B)  Come and pull her daughter away from an ongoing celebration.  Because, you know, everything was all about her and not wanting to waste one minute of her precious time.

 

Piece of work.

[regentrude]

Speaking of dropping off, some parents are really nutsy when it comes to asking for special favors.

 

I hosted a birthday party for DD at a community center.  She was 4 or 5, and the place was wide open.  It was a families together party, clearly, not a drop off one.  There was plenty of food for adults as well as kids, and crafts, and a wide open grassy field, picnic tables under the trees, and we hired a bouncy house.

 

This woman called me the morning of the party to ask whether she could drop off her daughter.  I said that I couldn't watch any other kids because I was handling all the crafts and cooking, but that if one of the other parents agreed to be responsible for her, that was just fine, but that I couldn't arrange it at that late notice.  She argued about this for 10 minutes.  Then she wanted to know what time we were finishing up.  Now, I am famous for never specifying a definite end time to anything, because my view is that if people are having fun, why would we stop?  I told her that the bouncy house folks were coming by to pick up the house at a certain time, but that we might stay longer, that it was hard to say, and that I had enough food for both lunch and dinner, not to worry.  It turned out that what she was worried about was pulling her daughter out of having fun when others were continuing.  So she pressed me to set a time that I would definitely stop the party, so that her daughter would not feel back if she was picked up but everyone else was sticking around longer.  She wanted me to change my plans to a definite end time so that she would not have to either A)  Come and stick around for a bit until things broke up naturally or B)  Come and pull her daughter away from an ongoing celebration.  Because, you know, everything was all about her and not wanting to waste one minute of her precious time.

 

Could it be that she had different cultural expectations?

Where I am from, parents are never supposed to stay at children's parties. It would be considered an imposition on the host if parents wanted to stay. I found it very odd after moving here that I not only had to host the children we had invited, but their parents and siblings as well. That is not done in all cultures.

[Carol in Cal.]

Could it be that she had different cultural expectations?

Where I am from, parents are never supposed to stay at children's parties. It would be considered an imposition on the host if parents wanted to stay. I found it very odd after moving here that I not only had to host the children we had invited, but their parents and siblings as well. That is not done in all cultures.

It was clear on the invitation that this was a family party with adults invited.

 

If she had contacted me sooner, I would have been able to be more helpful.

 

The issue was that we saw it as a celebration involving community and she saw it as an opportunity for babysitting, and treated me like a babysitter that she could order to stop the party when she arrived to pick up her daughter.  Ridiculous.

[Guest]

So here;s another couple of questions:

 

Those who lead groups that work okay.

 

What parameters do you set up to ensure that things go smoothly?

 

 

 

Personally, when I'm leading a group, I am very upfront about parental involvement. My introductory email always includes "We will start on time, and end on time. Please have your child prepared for each class. I need parents' help for a, b, and c. If you have small children, here are the arrangements that I prefer."

 

I also tend to hand pick families that I will do things academically with. I know the parents, I know the kids. I know how committed they tend to be. I feel comfortable calling moms and speaking to them about problems. Sounds snobbish, I know, but that's not my intention. I just don't have enough time to waste planning activities for a group if half the people involved can't be bothered to show up or be prepared.

 

I tend to do smaller group activities. I doubt how good I'd be at managing a large co-op.

 

We don't really do much academic stuff any more with other families because we're all studying different things at different levels. Besides, my kids would prefer to get together to hang out and do fun stuff. In the words of one of my dds "Why waste friend time with learning?"

In our group, when it worked, there were very strict policies.

 

Parents teach one class and volunteer as helpers in two others. Every parent has one free period do socializing or where they may be called in as a sub for someone else, like a floater.

 

The co op had infant and preschool care that parents rotated into during the four periods.

 

Absolutely NO drop offs. Parents have to sign up and teach something they like or are passionate about, as well as help out in other classes, or do nursery. No exceptions unless it is an emergency, like when one of my kids began throwing up at co op and I left the grounds to get them clean clothes while my assistant taught my material.

 

If you miss more than three of the eleven co op days your family is disinvited from participating, because it's difficult to find substitutions so frequently with the volume of families we had (about 30).

 

One parent acts as a coordinator for the schedule, another acts as the daily floater/enforced checkintnto make sure everyone has enough help and things are going smoothly. This split he leadership responsibilities a bit and kept our co op head from going crazy.

 

Cantankerous, selfish, or rude parents were disinvited. If you created drama for leadership you were gone. Some saw this as a negative but I don't see why a volunteer coordinator should have to put up with verbal abuse over a science class, know what I mean?

 

Everyone stays to clean up their co op classroom and the main areas at the end of the day - along with a crew of a few designated vacuumers snd chair stackers.

 

 

 

It was a secular co op of extracurricular classes primarily, we had plenty of academic subjects but nothing that would substitute for an entire core program course on paper. The co op ran 10-12 weeks in spring and fall, had a fee of about $145 per familymper semester to cover the rental fees for the church we were using, and adhered pretty strictly to all the stuff I laid out above. Those tight rules and everyone having to participate (though plenty of parents didn't love teaching group classes) kept the quality high and everyone had skin in the game for how it turned out. It was very family based and enjoyable, and the key was making it so that parents who just wanted babysitting or free time had to look elsewhere. Drop off groups that don't pay a teaching staff are the ones where I see the most problems.

[Bluegoat]

The shift away from the traditional civic organizations doesn't mean volunteer rates are falling precipitously. Sure, I'm not joining the Junior League and my husband is not joining the Elks but we have our own venues for volunteering, ones that don't require teas or hats. We are not alone in this and are entering the age group that has consistently volunteered the most.

 

If you go back a decade plus, to the post 9/11 bump, volunteer rates have fallen. If you look at 40 years, not so much. Shifts? Yes. Great declines? Not really.

 

I expect you are right about the volunteering.  I wasn't especially thinking of those kinds of civic organizations, though.  All kids of clubs and groups have fewer people since, IIRC, the 1960s.  So equally, things like bowling legues and knitting clubs.

 

THough I notice in the last, say, 3 years, where I live, groups have been on the increase.

[Bluegoat]

Why do you say the bolded as if it is a shameful thing?

I have seen a shift in thinking with more people realizing that people deserve to be paid for their work and that it is not fair to expect them to work for free. What are the people who teach the art, music and pottery classes supposed to live on when their services are expected on a volunteer basis? (I recall FaithManor's posts about people not wanting to pay her for piano lessons)

 

Working for free to benefit the homeschool group means these activities are subsidized by the spouse's income. In my IRL circle I know many women entrepreneurs and artists who feel very strongly that they are professionals who try to make a living teaching their craft. They try to offer affordable prices, but they also have to live. Should they not have this expectation because they are women? Or because they happen to homeschool?

The model that husband "provides" and jobless wife can be spending her time volunteering is no longer the standard model. 

 

I don't know, TBH, if this is always better.

 

I mean, obviously some roles ask enough of people that they need to earn an income, or there are other good reasons to do so.

 

But the idea of a community like a homeschool group or co-op, ideally, used to be that all people would contribute as they were able and lend their expertise.  Some might organize the arrangements, others teach, others watch small children, and so on.

 

Now, unfortunately there are all kinds of practical things that can get in the way fo this working, the main one being what I think is being identified by the OP as a problem - some people aren't interested in contributing at all and are simply taking without giving back.

 

Money isn't the only way to "pay" for a service, and many people do believe that contributing their gifts to the community is part of how they contribute to that community.  I've  do service in my parish community, for free.  Another parishioner who is a historian gives tours to visitors in the summer.  Another who is a university professor gave a series of talks the parish wanted to have.  (As it happens both of these men also teach in a low income humanities program, for free.)

 

The idea of reducing the community to paid relationships seems pretty horrific to me.

[QueenCat]

Does anyone think that newer homeschoolers don't help because they lack confidence and/or are intimidated by the more experienced parents?

 

Sometimes, newer homeschoolers look at me like I know everything there is to know about it. I've done it for almost 15 years. I have decent knowledge of this that and the other, but I don't know everything. I know lots more than I did when we started though. Perhaps they think that I should do more because that's a good part of my skill set. Perhaps they don't realize that I had to learn by doing it, trying some stuff, putting together some activities that bombed, and figuring out why it failed. And they don't know that they won't improve their skill set without trying.

 

I was very intimidated by more experienced parents when I first started homeschooling but that didn't stop me from jumping in and volunteering. But the experienced parents were very supportive when I was getting my feet wet.

[frogger]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the shift in how much kids are doing. When I was a kid I came home, did my chores, and played outside until dinner and my mom had plenty of time to volunteer. When I was older, I came home and watched my little brothers until an adult came home.

 

We didn't have sports, music lessons, math club, scouts, ballet etc. Sure there have always been kids who were in one thing or the other but the kids weren't scheduled to be gone every night of the week and most kids I knew were home most every night. My kids have a very difficult time having friends over (even when I know they are close). When the only free day they have is the third Thursday of next month for three hours between 11 and 2 then you must accept the parent is busy running them around and probably kind of worn out. If you have 3 kids and you they are all in 2 things and some are multiple days of the week then Yes the parent is too busy to do much.

 

I'm not saying it's an excuse or good or bad but that is the reality of what I have seen. Our local group was running out of participants before the last volunteers finally said, "forget it".

[leeannpal]

How was the demographic composition of homeschoolers "back in the day"? How many worked outside the home?

 

I found that having a job made participating in daytime homeschool activities extremely difficult and often impossible. In my local hs group, almost all mothers now work. 

 

I also found more people homeschool because they are forced to rather than because they have always embraced homeschooling ideologically. They somehow make it work because they have to, not because it is part of their chosen lifestyle. 

This fits my situation exactly. I am a public high school English teacher. I've taught for 20 years. My only child has what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome, sensory issues, ADHD and is also gifted academically. A regular classroom setting does not fit her well. My husband works nights and sleeps during the day. I am at school until 4:00 at least each day. That does not give us much opportunity to volunteer or even participate in homeschool groups. My daughter participates in one co-op every Thursday from 10:00-2:00, and we are not required to volunteer. Believe me, I would if I could. 

[Seasider]

To your second question, fairfarmhand, I operate much like you do. Set policies about what to expect from the group, what is expected of participants and parents, how to handle adjunct siblings, etc, and then CLEARLY COMMUNICATE those policies. For something more than just 3-4 families, I tend to write it all out and have a signature page required for documentation. That way if there's someone asking for a rule bend, I can point to the written agreement - I'm not the bad guy, the document is.

[Seasider]

I don't know, TBH, if this is always better.

 

I mean, obviously some roles ask enough of people that they need to earn an income, or there are other good reasons to do so.

 

But the idea of a community like a homeschool group or co-op, ideally, used to be that all people would contribute as they were able and lend their expertise. Some might organize the arrangements, others teach, others watch small children, and so on.

 

Now, unfortunately there are all kinds of practical things that can get in the way fo this working, the main one being what I think is being identified by the OP as a problem - some people aren't interested in contributing at all and are simply taking without giving back.

 

Money isn't the only way to "pay" for a service, and many people do believe that contributing their gifts to the community is part of how they contribute to that community. I've do service in my parish community, for free. Another parishioner who is a historian gives tours to visitors in the summer. Another who is a university professor gave a series of talks the parish wanted to have. (As it happens both of these men also teach in a low income humanities program, for free.)

 

The idea of reducing the community to paid relationships seems pretty horrific to me.

Time - talent - treasure - these are all ways to give. The world would be a less rich place if all giving were confined to just one of these aspects.

[Carol in Cal.]

So here;s another couple of questions:

 

Those who lead groups that work okay.

 

What parameters do you set up to ensure that things go smoothly?

 

 

--I offer what I offer, for free.

--I set it up in such a way that if someone commits and reneges it doesn't really effect me very much.

--I define everything very thoroughly in the introductory note and the first meeting, including all meeting times and dates and all assignments.

--I don't send out reminders.  

--I don't argue.  I kind of warmly state things.

--If there is an outside teacher involved, who needs to be paid, I collect that upfront and make it clear that there are no refunds.

 

I realize that this is more suited for ongoing singleton classes or field trips than for actual coops, and those are what I have had.  I'd rather be a host than an employee, so I set things up to play out that way.  YMMV.

[leeannpal]

And I'd just like to point out that we're all working parents...some of us also work for pay outside the home. But none of us are sitting around eating bon bons. So maybe as we discuss that shift we can also acknowledge that whether you are paid or unpaid, at home or outside the home...all working!

 

I know plenty of working for pay moms and dads who manage to swing things to volunteer at their child's school...so not sure I buy that working for pay + homeschooling parents can't contribute to the homeschool community (yes, I know not everyone wants the community b/c they think it's beneath them or some such).

It does if the home school groups aren't flexible on hours. I would gladly volunteer in a homeschool activity on the weekends. because i work during the week, any weekday activities would have to be events after 5:00 p.m.

[Arcadia]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the shift in how much kids are doing. When I was a kid I came home, did my chores, and played outside until dinner and my mom had plenty of time to volunteer. When I was older, I came home and watched my little brothers until an adult came home.

 

We didn't have sports, music lessons, math club, scouts, ballet etc. Sure there have always been kids who were in one thing or the other but the kids weren't scheduled to be gone every night of the week and most kids I knew were home most every night.

I think it depends on location, walk ability and public transport options.

 

I grew up in the city and in a latchkey dual income culture in the mid 70s-80s. My mom was a pediatric/NICU nurses working shifts and sometimes went back to work on off days if NICU was short staffed. I had piano lessons, art lessons at the community center which I can walk from my home by crossing the playground. My girl guides/brownies, math club, science club, stamp club, table tennis club, school band was in school as a school ECA. Ballet and swimming was a short public bus ride away.

 

My neighborhood playground was also lighted until midnight so kids were out playing until 11pm despite public school flag raising assembly was at 7:15am at that time.

 

Where we used to stay when my kids were little, there is a community center a short walk away that has almost every class my kids wanted so the community center gets all our business even after we moved away because we could do a class, walk next door for lunch, walk around the community center duck pond for fun and walk back for another class.

 

There was a 5 mornings a week preschool co-op that I was interested in but requires one day of parent volunteering a week. As I didn't have anyone to look after my younger one, my older one ended up going for a private 2 days a week preschool that didn't need volunteering.

Edited April 28, 2017 by Arcadia