Everyone has PTSD, vent

[Janeway]

I was at the store today. The chatty clerk decided to tell me all about how she has PTSD. Umm...then she tells me how she got it. It was horrifying, she has had some real trauma. You see...her cat died. No, not a horrific torn to shreds in front of her at 5 yrs old kind of death. She was a grown up and her cat was old and sick and needed to be put down. Yeah, now she has PTSD. 

 

I left disgusted. Not the more lame story of PTSD I have ever heard, but wow..I never know what to say when someone is saying this stuff. Does everyone have a PTSD story? If the worst thing that ever has happened to this woman is her old cat died, then wow...just wow..she is one lucky person.

 

 

In my opinion, it diminishes the very real experiences of those who really have PTSD. I am not saying that woman did not have some sort of mental health issue, she clearly did. But really...I wish people would stop throwing around "PTSD" for things like that.

[Catwoman]

I was at the store today. The chatty clerk decided to tell me all about how she has PTSD. Umm...then she tells me how she got it. It was horrifying, she has had some real trauma. You see...her cat died. No, not a horrific torn to shreds in front of her at 5 yrs old kind of death. She was a grown up and her cat was old and sick and needed to be put down. Yeah, now she has PTSD.

 

I left disgusted. Not the more lame story of PTSD I have ever heard, but wow..I never know what to say when someone is saying this stuff. Does everyone have a PTSD story? If the worst thing that ever has happened to this woman is her old cat died, then wow...just wow..she is one lucky person.

 

In my opinion, it diminishes the very real experiences of those who really have PTSD. I am not saying that woman did not have some sort of mental health issue, she clearly did. But really...I wish people would stop throwing around "PTSD" for things like that.

I would extend her some sympathy and grace. She probably had that cat for many, many years and is heartbroken at the loss.

 

I wouldn't call it PTSD either, but I would feel too sorry for her to be annoyed at her terminology. If you are correct and she also had mental health issues, I would be particularly sympathetic toward her. I'm sure she viewed her cat as a member of the family, just as many of us do.

Edited February 27, 2017 by Catwoman

[Guest]

I'm kinda with you on this. My dh returned from Iraq with PTSD so severe he had a complete meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, violent nightmares for months (to the point I was getting punched at night - not fun), etc.

 

Your precious old cat dying doesn't even compare.

Edited February 27, 2017 by Kinsa

[Catwoman]

I'm kinda with you on this. My dh returned from Iraq with PTSD so severe he had a complete meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, violent nightmares for months (to the point I was getting punched at night - not fun), etc.

 

Your precious cat dying doesn't even compare.

Realistically, no, it doesn't compare with what your dh went through. But Janeway said the woman has mental health issues and I can understand how upset she is at the loss of her beloved cat.

 

I don't know why she said she had PTSD and not just that she was sad about her cat, but if she is mentally ill, I wouldn't judge her too harshly for it. In her mind, it may very well be the worst thing that has ever happened to her.

Edited February 27, 2017 by Catwoman

[Lawana]

Everyone has traumas of varying degrees. Who are you to judge what another person's trauma meant to them?

[Lanny]

I have Severe PTSD.  I am sorry that her pet died, I always hope to outlive my pets. She is a joke.

Edited February 27, 2017 by Lanny

[Catwoman]

I have Severe PTSD. I am sorry that her pet died, I always hope to outlive my pets, but she is a joke.

I didn't know you have PTSD, Lanny. I'm so sorry to hear that. :grouphug:

[gardenmom5]

Just offer sympathy for the dead cat. She may not even understand ptsd is way more than grieving a loss. Of any kind.

 

There is a personality type that engages in hyperbole for attention. They are not fully rational.

[Ravin]

I do not have PTSD. I had a lovely childhood and saw no combat during my time in the Navy. 

 

My dad has PTSD from Vietnam. I have a sister with PTSD from traumatic sexual abuse that took place on her ship when she was in the Navy and the shitty way the command handled it. Both have been actually diagnosed with such by the VA. I know other people with PTSD from childhood abuse and from domestic violence.

 

Someone who thinks they have PTSD because their kitty died is a frickin' idiot. They maybe have PTSD if it stands for Pathetic Tepid Snowflake Disorder.

 

Talk about first world problems!

[Peaceseeker]

Sounds like people are just throwing the term around like they do OCD. I have to have my things in the right place, I am so OCD.. things like that are often said, especially among the younger generation I have noticed. The mental health language is very casually thrown around I think. People also call themselves bi-polar when they have a mood swing, or or manic when they have extra energy.

 

It is interesting how all these mental health phrases are emerging into the general lexicon. On the one hand, it can seem insulting to those really struggling with those issues. On the other hand, I wonder if it signifies a shift towards a greater acceptance of the fact that people have mental health issues. I mean, it was just a generation or two ago that a lot of people wouldn't even speak about mental health issues due to stigma. It seems like the stigma is lessening.

Edited March 1, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[Catwoman]

Wow. I am more than a little shocked at the lack of sympathy for a mentally ill woman who is heartbroken that her cat died. :(

 

She used the wrong term. So what? She is mentally ill and has gone through what she considers to be a very traumatic experience.

 

I feel sorry for her.

[Ravin]

Wow. I am more than a little shocked at the lack of sympathy for a mentally ill woman who is heartbroken that her cat died. :(

 

She used the wrong term. So what? She is mentally ill and has gone through what she considers to be a very traumatic experience.

 

I feel sorry for her.

 

She might be mentally ill. Whatever her issue, it ain't Post-traumatic Stress Disorder over her cat dying.

[Catwoman]

She might be mentally ill. Whatever her issue, it ain't Post-traumatic Stress Disorder over her cat dying.

Not to you, but maybe it feels like it to her. For all we know, the cat was her only companion and she is grieving a great loss.

 

Why does it matter that she used the wrong term? She's extremely upset and that's all that should matter.

 

I'm not sure why you want to minimize her sense of loss.

[Ravin]

Not to you, but maybe it feels like it to her. For all we know, the cat was her only companion and she is grieving a great loss.

 

Why does it matter that she used the wrong term? She's extremely upset and that's all that should matter.

 

I'm not sure why you want to minimize her sense of loss.

 

PTSD is a diagnosis, not a "feeling." 

 

And the OP described her as "chatty" not "extremely upset."

[GoVanGogh]

I have PTSD, which is extremely common for parents of premature/NICU babies. I wish more were known about the issue and realize that not only veterans get it.

That said, i do think many people now use the term such as they do OCD, ADD/ADHD, etc.

I wonder if the lady miscommunicated or truncated what she was trying to say. My PTSD stems from DS and I nearly dying during childbirth, but wasn't diagnosed until much later. I have only been getting treatment for the past few years. My DS just lost his cat (which he used as a therapy cat, of sorts, because she calmed his cerebral palsy tremors.) I can tell you that I was overwhelmed with grief. It wasn't about the cat, but about what the cat was to my son. It brought back his birth and his CP diagnosis in such vividness that it was beyond explanation. i can see myself rambling on about his cat in such a way that others would never understand.

[Catwoman]

PTSD is a diagnosis, not a "feeling."

 

And the OP described her as "chatty" not "extremely upset."

She's mentally ill. She probably doesn't know the difference between her feelings and a "diagnosis."

 

I don't know why you seem so bitter toward a mentally ill woman you've never even met.

[Catwoman]

I have PTSD, which is extremely common for parents of premature/NICU babies. I wish more were known about the issue and realize that not only veterans get it.

That said, i do think many people now use the term such as they do OCD, ADD/ADHD, etc.

I wonder if the lady miscommunicated or truncated what she was trying to say. My PTSD stems from DS and I nearly dying during childbirth, but wasn't diagnosed until much later. I have only been getting treatment for the past few years. My DS just lost his cat (which he used as a therapy cat, of sorts, because she calmed his cerebral palsy tremors.) I can tell you that I was overwhelmed with grief. It wasn't about the cat, but about what the cat was to my son. It brought back his birth and his CP diagnosis in such vividness that it was beyond explanation. i can see myself rambling on about his cat in such a way that others would never understand.

I'm so sorry about your PTSD. I also feel so sad about your ds's cat. :crying:

[Ravin]

She's mentally ill. She probably doesn't know the difference between her feelings and a "diagnosis."

 

I don't know why you seem so bitter toward a mentally ill woman you've never even met.

 

Being chatty and asserting she has PTSD for an absurd non-trauma does not mean she is mentally ill.

[Greta]

Wow. I am more than a little shocked at the lack of sympathy for a mentally ill woman who is heartbroken that her cat died. :(

 

She used the wrong term. So what? She is mentally ill and has gone through what she considers to be a very traumatic experience.

 

I feel sorry for her.

 

 

I don't think that feeling sympathy for her and saying "no way that's PTSD" are mutually exclusive.  I can feel sorry for her without agreeing with her that she has PTSD.  I don't think it's fair to people who truly have it to just throw around the term like that.  

 

I've joked before about "being OCD" because of something that I'm particular about.  I'm going to stop doing that.  It's just a joke, but still, It's really not respectful or sympathetic towards those who truly have OCD.

[Catwoman]

Being chatty and asserting she has PTSD for an absurd non-trauma does not mean she is mentally ill.

Janeway said the woman has a mental health issue.

 

And how is the death of the woman's pet a "non-trauma?" Why do you get to decide what is or isn't traumatic for a woman you don't even know? I honestly don't understand your harsh judgment.

[Catwoman]

I don't think that feeling sympathy for her and saying "no way that's PTSD" are mutually exclusive. I can feel sorry for her without agreeing with her that she has PTSD. I don't think it's fair to people who truly have it to just throw around the term like that.

 

I've joked before about "being OCD" because of something that I'm particular about. I'm going to stop doing that. It's just a joke, but still, It's really not respectful or sympathetic towards those who truly have OCD.

I agree that she used the wrong term, but if she has a mental health issue, I'm willing to give her a pass on it. I doubt she meant to offend Janeway when she said she has PTSD. She probably simply doesn't understand what PTSD really means.

[gardenmom5]

  They maybe have PTSD if it stands for Pathetic Tepid Snowflake Disorder.

 

 

 

I like it.

 

My fil likely had ptsd. he had violent night mares for seven years - and there were triggers he had to avoid the rest of his life. he  survived the bataan death march, the hell ships (I wish I hadn't heard any details on that one.  made me want to vomit), and  was a japanese pow for 3 1/2 years. (the number of survivors of all three who were repatriated were very few.) 

 

based upon his own actions during his post-war life - he would have just offered the woman sympathy and moved on.  

no one who thinks their cat dying is devastating can be said to be rational.

 

Sounds like people are just throwing the term around like they do OCD. I have to ave my things in the right place, I am so OCD.. things like that are often said, especially among the younger generation I have noticed. The mental health language is very casually thrown around I think. People also call themselves bit-polar when they have a mood swing, or or manic when they have extra energy.

 

It is interesting how all these mental health phrases are emerging into the general lexicon. On the one hand, it can seem insulting to those really struggling with those issues. On the other hand, I wonder if it signifies a shift towards a greater acceptance of the fact that people have mental health issues. I mean, it was just a generation or two ago that a lot of people wouldn't even speak about mental health issues due to stigma. It seems like the stigma is lessening.

I think it's some of both.  people have become more aware, but that doesn't mean they understand what those things mean.

the 11 yo scout leader wanted to get dudeling to join scouts - I tried to explain he had asd and what that meant for him to join scouts.   and . . what she could do to help if she really wanted him there.   "oh, my grandson has that" . . big.  . . huge . . . eye. . . . roll.   (whether her grandson is on the spectrum or not - she sure as anything doesn't know what that means.)

 

She might be mentally ill. Whatever her issue, it ain't Post-traumatic Stress Disorder over her cat dying.

 

no- and she probably doesn't even know what it means.   she probably just thinks it means she's really upset whenever her cat gets mentioned.  you noticed she is mentioning her cat . . . .

[Janeway]

Realistically, no, it doesn't compare with what your dh went through. But Janeway said the woman has mental health issues and I can understand how upset she is at the loss of her beloved cat.

 

I don't know why she said she had PTSD and not just that she was sad about her cat, but if she is mentally ill, I wouldn't judge her too harshly for it. In her mind, it may very well be the worst thing that has ever happened to her.

She made it clear in the story that this cat died years ago.

[Guest]

She made it clear in the story that this cat died years ago.

Good grief. *eye roll*

[Innisfree]

I have PTSD, which is extremely common for parents of premature/NICU babies. I wish more were known about the issue and realize that not only veterans get it.

That said, i do think many people now use the term such as they do OCD, ADD/ADHD, etc.

I wonder if the lady miscommunicated or truncated what she was trying to say. My PTSD stems from DS and I nearly dying during childbirth, but wasn't diagnosed until much later. I have only been getting treatment for the past few years. My DS just lost his cat (which he used as a therapy cat, of sorts, because she calmed his cerebral palsy tremors.) I can tell you that I was overwhelmed with grief. It wasn't about the cat, but about what the cat was to my son. It brought back his birth and his CP diagnosis in such vividness that it was beyond explanation. i can see myself rambling on about his cat in such a way that others would never understand.

 

I liked this to acknowledge it; I'm so sorry for what you've gone through, and I hope you and your son can find comfort some day in memories of his cat.

 

We never know the full extent of what a pet may mean to someone else.

[Lanny]

This URL has the definition of what I have, if my memory has the number correctly.  I think one needs to have a combination of different symptoms, to be considered to have P.T.S.D.    DSM 3R has been replaced by an updated version. This is DSM 3R   309.89

 

http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/ptsd/

[Greta]

I agree that she used the wrong term, but if she has a mental health issue, I'm willing to give her a pass on it. I doubt she meant to offend Janeway when she said she has PTSD. She probably simply doesn't understand what PTSD really means.

 

 

Yeah, if I'd had this interaction, I probably would have said something like "I'm so sorry about your cat" and left it at that.  (And then I would have come here to complain about people who have no clue what PTSD is claiming that they have PTSD!)  I wouldn't have been unkind to her about it, but I do think it's a little ridiculous, and honestly, it's just disrespectful.  Losing pets sucks.  But it absolutely does not belong in the same category as the kinds of trauma that cause PTSD.

 

 

Edited for spelling.

Edited February 28, 2017 by Greta

[Innisfree]

She made it clear in the story that this cat died years ago.

 

This does seem over the top. I think I might just conclude, as you did, that she might have *some* problem.

[Catwoman]

She made it clear in the story that this cat died years ago.

I was under the impression that it was a recent event, but I might actually extend her more grace knowing that it was years ago and she still talks about it. She is definitely using the wrong term, but if she has a mental health issue, she might honestly still be grieving the loss. We have no way of knowing, and I think it's kinder to err on the side of letting her ramble and acting sympathetic.

 

I would be annoyed if she had directly compared her situation to a person with genuine PTSD, but as it was, I think she was probably just trying to make conversation and didn't understand what she was saying, so I wouldn't have given it a second thought one way or the other.

[gardenmom5]

Janeway said the woman has a mental health issue.

 

And how is the death of the woman's pet a "non-trauma?" Why do you get to decide what is or isn't traumatic for a woman you don't even know? I honestly don't understand your harsh judgment.

 

trauma and ptsd are two different things.  (I doubt she knows either of them.)

she's grieving her cat - fine, whatever.

I agree, whatever her issues - just offer sympathy and move on.  it's not worth the upset.

 

I've dealt with stuff and had to listen to ivory towers pontificate on how to be compassionate to people in those situations (not knowing I've btdtgtts).   I recall one - I kept giving hints to shut the bleep up already!, and tried to change the subject on several attempts - but this person would not be dissuaded.  I got a phone call later, wanting to know what they'd said that ticked me off so much.  it wasn't even worth it to me to explain.

[Greta]

I just want to say that I'm sorry for all of those who have shared stories of their own or their loved ones' PTSD.  

[Lanny]

I'm kinda with you on this. My dh returned from Iraq with PTSD so severe he had a complete meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, violent nightmares for months (to the point I was getting punched at night - not fun), etc.

 

Your precious old cat dying doesn't even compare.

 

+1

[rainbowmama]

I was diagnosed with postpartum PTSD following my stillbirth. There were a lot of factors that made it more traumatic for me than having a stillbirth had to be. I get tired of friends and family second guessing the diagnosis: PTSD happens for a lot of reasons, not just sexual assault or surviving combat. It's a mental health condition: when people act like my experience wasn't traumatic enough, I often think they don't understand that it's a disorder. It's like someone telling me I don't have the flu, because I haven't been around the flu enough after I went to a doctor who did a bunch of tests and diagnosed me with the flu. Only a mental health professional who has evaluated her can decide if she has PTSD. 

[Catwoman]

I was diagnosed with postpartum PTSD following my stillbirth. There were a lot of factors that made it more traumatic for me than having a stillbirth had to be. I get tired of friends and family second guessing the diagnosis: PTSD happens for a lot of reasons, not just sexual assault or surviving combat. It's a mental health condition: when people act like my experience wasn't traumatic enough, I often think they don't understand that it's a disorder. It's like someone telling me I don't have the flu, because I haven't been around the flu enough after I went to a doctor who did a bunch of tests and diagnosed me with the flu. Only a mental health professional who has evaluated her can decide if she has PTSD.

I'm so sorry for your loss, rainbowmama. :grouphug:

 

It's horrible that anyone would have second-guessed your diagnosis after the terrible trauma you experienced.

[Guest]

Sounds like people are just throwing the term around like they do OCD. I have to have my things in the right place, I am so OCD.. things like that are often said, especially among the younger generation I have noticed. The mental health language is very casually thrown around I think. People also call themselves bit-polar when they have a mood swing, or or manic when they have extra energy.

 

It is interesting how all these mental health phrases are emerging into the general lexicon. On the one hand, it can seem insulting to those really struggling with those issues. On the other hand, I wonder if it signifies a shift towards a greater acceptance of the fact that people have mental health issues. I mean, it was just a generation or two ago that a lot of people wouldn't even speak about mental health issues due to stigma. It seems like the stigma is lessening.

What I see happening is someone calls the feelings they feel after a cat dying PTSD, and then they are taken aback by the life-decimating power of actual PTSD.

 

Like, "*I* handled my PTSD sooo much better than Barry. Barry should be more like me."

 

While Barry is barely making it...Has significant backslides after he does get better, etc....And the other: dead cat.

 

------------------

 

I agree it's just something people say.

 

I agree it's obnoxious.

 

I submit that people that say such bullspit to known PTSD'erz ought to be legally required to GET A GRIP.

[Guest]

I was diagnosed with postpartum PTSD following my stillbirth. There were a lot of factors that made it more traumatic for me than having a stillbirth had to be. I get tired of friends and family second guessing the diagnosis: PTSD happens for a lot of reasons, not just sexual assault or surviving combat. It's a mental health condition: when people act like my experience wasn't traumatic enough, I often think they don't understand that it's a disorder. It's like someone telling me I don't have the flu, because I haven't been around the flu enough after I went to a doctor who did a bunch of tests and diagnosed me with the flu. Only a mental health professional who has evaluated her can decide if she has PTSD.

With friends like that... :(

[Greta]

I was diagnosed with postpartum PTSD following my stillbirth. There were a lot of factors that made it more traumatic for me than having a stillbirth had to be. I get tired of friends and family second guessing the diagnosis: PTSD happens for a lot of reasons, not just sexual assault or surviving combat. It's a mental health condition: when people act like my experience wasn't traumatic enough, I often think they don't understand that it's a disorder. It's like someone telling me I don't have the flu, because I haven't been around the flu enough after I went to a doctor who did a bunch of tests and diagnosed me with the flu. Only a mental health professional who has evaluated her can decide if she has PTSD. 

 

 

I am so very sorry for your loss.  And because of what I said above I want to be clear that I would never second guess your diagnosis.  It is not the least bit difficult for me to imagine that the trauma of losing a child could cause PTSD.  Again, I am just so sorry.

[Bluegoat]

Some people aren't able to really understand these things well, or communicate about them.  And then, some people are attention seeking or hypochondriac or something similar.  It's hard to say with a casual encounter, and I think just being kind is the best answer.

 

I would never be surprised to see a diagnosis like PTSD undrego change in the medical community over years - the criteria broadened or narrowed, or even disapear and be called someting or several things different, or something else entirely.  So I don't tend to invest in a lot of the lables for these kinds of illnesses - I think we are in early days of knowing how to understand them.

 

That being said, I do wonder if our focus on the idea of trauma and responses to it can itself make people vulnerable - there is some research in that direction in relation to crises intervention, and I wonder about its broader implications.

[Guest]

I was diagnosed with postpartum PTSD following my stillbirth. There were a lot of factors that made it more traumatic for me than having a stillbirth had to be. I get tired of friends and family second guessing the diagnosis: PTSD happens for a lot of reasons, not just sexual assault or surviving combat. It's a mental health condition: when people act like my experience wasn't traumatic enough, I often think they don't understand that it's a disorder. It's like someone telling me I don't have the flu, because I haven't been around the flu enough after I went to a doctor who did a bunch of tests and diagnosed me with the flu. Only a mental health professional who has evaluated her can decide if she has PTSD.

And I go the other way - I had major trauma and after effects from the issues surrounding my little guy and the NICU, but I'm careful to say that while it was depressing and traumatic and ten kinds of awful, I don't have PTSD. Some of the mamas who have had the same things happen to them have in fact been diagnosed with ICU induced PTSD, which I didn't even know was a thing.

 

Hugs to you! I'm sorry your birth trauma was made unnecessarily more awful than it already was just by virtue of not bringing a baby home. I can't even imagine :(

[FaithManor]

This is why I refrain from bein chatty in lines. The types of conversations people attempt to engage in!

 

I have told more than one clerk that it was as inappropriate to share personal information with a stranger, as well as ask for it from a stranger. Our society is having trouble with appropriate boundaries.

[abba12]

I have what is somewhat unofficially being called C-PTSD (the difference is not in the DSM but has been published in medical journals and is being drafted for official inclusion iirc)

 

I have no patience whatsoever for people who claim PTSD or to be 'traumatised' by minor events. None. I would like to hope I'd have given this woman a piece of my mind, but, I probably would have just glared and vented about it to DH. I know it's beginning to be used as a popular laymans term like OCD, and i find it extremely offensive. 

 

 

I get tired of friends and family second guessing the diagnosis: PTSD happens for a lot of reasons, not just sexual assault or surviving combat.

 

I'm so sorry for your stillbirth.

 

If it makes you feel any better about the friends and family, even those of us with undeniably severe traumatic circumstances still get that crap. It's not actually that they discredit your experience, more that people are afraid of mental illness and PTSD still has this 'it only happens to other people' sense to it, it's something people talk about but they'll deny seeing it in anyone they're close to, it only happens to strangers and weird acquaintances. People want to deny it because they are afraid of it and don't understand it. Rape victims are compared to other victims who didn't develop PTSD and told they should cope better. About the only group that gets acceptance from the general public are those who have seen combat, but, they do not get acceptance from the military or other soldiers so far as I've heard.

 

My case is severe and prolonged childhood trauma amounting to torture, including trafficking and serious sexual abuse, complete with lifelong physical health issues as a result. Even with such an obviously traumatic story, everyone feels the need to tell me about this person they know who had crappy parents and who is now successful in spite of them, with the expectation I should be able to do the same. Everyone gives me the speech about having to make my own life now I am an adult, and especially the bit about making my own decisions separate from my childhood and taking responsibility for my own actions instead of blaming my childhood. It was really hard for them to do things their parents wouldn't have agreed with as adults, but they did it, and so should I (because yeah, that's totally the issue here). I've been genuinely asked by two people who have seen me have full blown hallucinations and become paralysed from conversion disorder symptoms why I can't just 'get over it' because I'm free now. I've been told by another that I just need to never ever let myself think about it again, otherwise I am just giving them power. and I've had people try to rationalise my experience as 'not that bad' by comparing it to the few extreme cases that have gotten mass media attention over the years (I'm not comparing, but I brought this up with a psychologist once and she said there was an argument to say my experience was worse. But, mine wasn't sensationalised and dramatised by the media, it was never seen at all, so comparing me matter-of-factly stating my story to dr phil unpacking someone elses story complete with pictures and emotional witnesses, mine just doesn't feel as real to them). Oh and lets not forget the focus on the use of the term PTSD for minor single-incident trauma which can be recovered from has distorted peoples perceptions, and I have been told I definitely don't have it because PTSD is a short term condition people recover from in a few months, a year at most. When i tell them I've had PTSD for 10 years now, and that I've been told by medical professionals that full recovery is probably impossible for me, all I can do is improve, they begin arguing with me that I just have a bad doctor because this news article and that sexual assault victim said PTSD was quickly curable with help so I just need to go find different help, and I mustn't actually have PTSD because it's been there too long. They say, don't you know that PTSD is not a chronic condition, it's a curable disease. Yes, it is curable for some, quite quickly for many of the 'less severe' victims such as single incident sexual abuse (not belittling, but on the grand scale those cases of PTSD are 'minor', so far as something horrific goes, and often in those cases it does only last at PTSD levels for a few months before people begin to recover.) But it's definitely chronic for many, and lifelong for a few of us. 

 

Anyway, this isn't a feel sorry for me post, I'm not looking for sympathy, I've come to accept others will never understand or care and I'm happy with who I am, knowing that full recovery is not possible, I embrace who I am,. flashbacks, trauma and all. But I say all this just to illustrate, I doubt your family and friends are discounting your specific experience of a traumatic stillbirth, but rather, they're reacting the same way people always react to PTSD, as some terrible thing which happens to strangers but couldn't possibly happen to someone they care about, and that they will deny and rationalise at all costs rather than accept. It's not you, and your situation was absolutely 'severe enough'. But, even people on the extreme ends of severe get the same denial and questioning and clueless reaction. You aren't alone. I hope you're making progress toward recovery, don't let others trip that up by denying your experience. 

[LarlaB]

I was diagnosed with postpartum PTSD following my stillbirth. There were a lot of factors that made it more traumatic for me than having a stillbirth had to be. I get tired of friends and family second guessing the diagnosis: PTSD happens for a lot of reasons, not just sexual assault or surviving combat. It's a mental health condition: when people act like my experience wasn't traumatic enough, I often think they don't understand that it's a disorder. It's like someone telling me I don't have the flu, because I haven't been around the flu enough after I went to a doctor who did a bunch of tests and diagnosed me with the flu. Only a mental health professional who has evaluated her can decide if she has PTSD.

I'm so sorry. For all of it.

 

Its a disorder and you don't need severe circumstances as causation. I have PTSD from childhood trauma/abuse which was re-awakened by adult events with NPD MIL 3 years ago. Hardly comparable to a combat vet. Yet still incredibly life altering.

 

It hijacked my life. (And, I suffered all over again when I was told that it wasn't really significant or happening- which was part of my childhood trauma.) I underwent EMDR, talk therapy and CBT for this recent reignited trauma. It was humbling as I have an MA in counseling. Yet my brain simply took control and I experienced flashbacks, nightmares, hyper vigilance/hyper reactivity, avoidance and so on. I was not in control- PTSD could take over whenever or wherever and that's terrifying, regardless of origin. You walk around terrified that something is going to happen.

 

An example? I saw someone buying bread milk and chocolate syrup at the store- something my childhood abuser would eat. I don't remember driving home. And was numb for a few days.

 

I am probably in the minority but it doesn't bother me terribly to have the label thrown around somewhat ignorantly, as I view it as someone trying to speak their pain. It doesn't threaten my reality.

[Arctic Bunny]

((((((( So many hugs to all of you)))))))

[mellifera33]

Is it possible that she actually has PTSD from a horrific event, but can't talk about the event and uses the death of her cat as a socially acceptable stand-in for said event? Just spitballing. 

 

 

 

I've joked before about "being OCD" because of something that I'm particular about.  I'm going to stop doing that.  It's just a joke, but still, It's really not respectful or sympathetic towards those who truly have OCD.

 

Eh, I have OCD, but I find jokes about OCD funny. Especially if it's a joke about being fussy or a neatnik, since I'm a complete slob.  :laugh:

[zoobie]

Unless she's mocking someone with PTSD, I'd nod sympathetically and go on with my day. Maybe she's misusing the term. Maybe she's got misplaced trauma and the cat's death really isn't the source of the problem. If she was kind to you, extend the same courtesy to her. There's enough hate out there right now.

[marbel]

Unless she's mocking someone with PTSD, I'd nod sympathetically and go on with my day. Maybe she's misusing the term. Maybe she's got misplaced trauma and the cat's death really isn't the source of the problem. If she was kind to you, extend the same courtesy to her. There's enough hate out there right now.

 

Yes this.

 

There seems to be so much anger about this.  The fact that a hapless (and anonymous) store clerk may be misusing the word doesn't take anything away from people who are truly suffering from PTSD.  

[Rosie_0801]

I have what is somewhat unofficially being called C-PTSD (the difference is not in the DSM but has been published in medical journals and is being drafted for official inclusion iirc)

 

It will be interesting to see what is done with this C-PTSD idea. I've thought for a while that there must be different kinds of PTSD.

[Greta]

Eh, I have OCD, but I find jokes about OCD funny. Especially if it's a joke about being fussy or a neatnik, since I'm a complete slob. :laugh:

:D

[Catwoman]

This is why I refrain from bein chatty in lines. The types of conversations people attempt to engage in!

I have told more than one clerk that it was as inappropriate to share personal information with a stranger, as well as ask for it from a stranger. Our society is having trouble with appropriate boundaries.

When people tell me stories like in the OP, I just listen and make a polite comment, because that person may not have anyone else in her life who will listen to her worries, and if it makes her feel better to vent to a stranger like me about her cat that died (or whatever,) it's not a big deal. It's only a moment out of my day and if I spend a few minutes in the checkout line listening to a lonely person instead of ignoring her, maybe I've made her day a little bit better. I certainly haven't lost anything by chatting with her.

[Catwoman]

Unless she's mocking someone with PTSD, I'd nod sympathetically and go on with my day. Maybe she's misusing the term. Maybe she's got misplaced trauma and the cat's death really isn't the source of the problem. If she was kind to you, extend the same courtesy to her. There's enough hate out there right now.

  

Yes this.

 

There seems to be so much anger about this.  The fact that a hapless (and anonymous) store clerk may be misusing the word doesn't take anything away from people who are truly suffering from PTSD.

 

I completely agree with both of you.

 

I don't understand the anger, either. It saddens me that people don't seem to have compassion for the woman when her only mistake was to innocently misuse a term.