Northwoodsmama Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) Last summer my girls and I attended a mother-daughter camp weekend with some friends at a girls summer camp. We all had a great time, especially DD#2 who is very excited about the possibility of attending the camp this summer...but we're undecided on sending her so I thought I'd ask for any BT/DT. It's a 2 week girls camp, no contact really with us. 8 campers per cabin with 2 counselors, similar ages together. I have 3 kids, triplets, who are 9. This DD is very shy and my most socially awkward child, but is also very confident in certain areas (she dances competitively). I've read that camp can really help with social skills, and she REALLY wants to go...but?? It's $$$$ and we need to make a decision! Help! Tell me about your child's (or your) experiences with summer camp. Will it scar her forever? Thanks ETA- she's also my messiest child and fairly irresponsible with her belongings (loses shoes...) is this a factor? Edited January 16, 2017 by Northwoodsmama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakelly Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) I'd never send a 9 year old to a 2 week long sleep away camp. I usually wait until they are going into 5th grade and then, only for a week. I want them to be old enough to be able to stand up for themselves if something is going on that they aren't OK with. I want to be 100% confident in their ability to ask for help, or talk to the adults in charge. When they were young, I always sent them to camp with a friend, you hope that all the kids there are nice and such, but that hasn't always been the case. Having a friend has made it easier for them to make new friends. I sent my 14 year old to camp where she knew no one, but she was much older, so it was fine. Edited January 16, 2017 by mamakelly 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I sent my two 9yo girls to a week-long sleep-away camp (scout camp) last summer. One had a good experience and made lasting friends. The other was sent home early (she had a problem with the hydration policy, long story). A couple weeks later both girls went to a much more laid-back week-long camp. Again the one girl had a good experience and the other was sent home early. She just could not get comfortable after the first bad experience. She says that she still has nightmares about sleep-away camp. I remain surprised, as there was nothing about her that would make me think she couldn't sleep away for a week. She was with her sister and her scout leader, she's been fine at shorter sleep-away camps, she's traveled a lot, she's been away from me longer than a week before, she's not a general wimp. So I really don't know what the predictors of a successful camp are. Based on my experience, I wouldn't send my kids to a pricey multiple-week sleep-away camp as a first try. I assume that the money is not refundable if the child has to return home early. I'd probably let her try a shorter camp close to home and see how that goes. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIOnly Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Our 13 and 12 year olds are doing two camps this year, one 3 day and one week long. Not necessarily even being directly involved with our sons, but DH has already filled out volunteer forms including references and had a background check and will be volunteering at both. It's a local group the first camp and local plus state group the longer one. Our kids wanted to go to camp, but we're not comfortable having our kids this age in the care of strangers overnight. They're thrilled to be going. So no experience yet, but subbing to your thread. Personally, I think if she's comfortable and your comfortable, then it's going to be fine! I'd probably want to be able to talk or text a few minutes a day though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I would send her to camp, but not one for 2 weeks. That's too long for a first-time camper, age 9. All the other details you mentioned are workable. My kids loved camp, but 2 weeks would be too long to start out with, and as you mentioned, it's $$$$. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Based on my experience, I wouldn't send my kids to a pricey multiple-week sleep-away camp as a first try. I assume that the money is not refundable if the child has to return home early. I'd probably let her try a shorter camp close to home and see how that goes. Oh, I remember your hydration issue, SKL. What a crazy policy that sounded like. I think it's fine to send a 9 yo to sleepaway camp for two weeks, but I agree with the above advice. I'd see if you can find a laid back one week camp to send her to instead. Is there a church camp you like maybe? Or a scout camp? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I went to camp at that age, and so did all three of my dc. They did a week long camp. They all loved it, and went for several years. I don't think any of us could predict how your dd will do because there are just too many variables. I would highly recommend sending her with a sibling or close friend. I worked at a summer camp for several years. One thing that surprised me was how much better the younger ones did with homesickness. Our most homesick campers were almost always the early middle schoolers who had never been to camp before. They did fine after a couple of days. I think the little ones are more active and then fall asleep faster, which eliminates the nighttime worrying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 No way would I let a 9-year-old stay overnight with people I don't know. I am not criticizing others who choose to do it, but I am not comfortable with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I went to sleep away camp for the first time at 7. I was supposed to go for two weeks, but I liked it so much I stayed all six. Similar thing happened the next year, and the next. Two weeks was not too long for me, actually not long enough. I was extremely shy, but I enjoyed camp. Probably because it was a horseback riding camp and I fell in love. Plus as the youngest campers, we had our own little cabin with an older, grandmotherly type lady who stayed with us and cooked breakfast for us in our cabin. It's where I learned to love "egg in a nest." I guess you can't always figure out whether a shy child will do well or not just because of shyness. If she really wants to go, I think that's an excellent sign. Why not let her surprise you?? I would not be as positive on sending her if she herself wasn't eager to go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Oh, I remember your hydration issue, SKL. What a crazy policy that sounded like. I think it's fine to send a 9 yo to sleepaway camp for two weeks, but I agree with the above advice. I'd see if you can find a laid back one week camp to send her to instead. Is there a church camp you like maybe? Or a scout camp? This. I don't have an issue with the age, length, or expense, just not as a first time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I would look for a shorter camp experience for the first time. Several camps in our area offer 3 day camps for younger, first time campers. 5-6 days is the standard around here even for the older kids. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 My kids go to a one week camp in the summer. My oldest started at 8 or 9 and my second son was 7. The second one went the first time with several good friends and knowing his brother was there made me comfortable with him being young. Everyone's camp experience will be so different that it is hard to say. My kids have loved camp and it has been great for them . My oldest is very shy and introverted and I was shocked when he wanted to go not knowing anyone. But he especially loves it. I think in some ways camp is easier for him because it's such a controlled environment. I think a 2 week camp as a first time away is a little long but camp has been fabulous for my kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I'all also add that my second son is crazy messy and loses stuff all the time. Counselors are trained to deal with that! They had to keep their cabin reasonably clean and he did fine. I learned also to only send stuff to camp that we didn't care about. Not so much because of losing it but because a week of outdoor activities is hard on clothes and shoes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insertcreativenamehere Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) I grew up going to summer camp and later worked as a camp counselor for a few years. My own children start going to camp in 3rd grade, if they want, and they only go for 2 1/2 days the first year. After that, they go for a week. They LOVE it. It's the camp associated with our church and they have spent time there with us (in fact, we were just there this weekend) so they feel comfortable and have friends from church with them, too. I would not send a 9 year old for two weeks. I'd try a day camp (the YMCA has them here -- they are in more outlying areas, but kids are bussed from the metropolitan area each day) or a shorter sleepaway camp. I've seen lots of kids who get homesick and for a first experience, two weeks is just too long. Edited January 16, 2017 by poikar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) Knowing that you've already gone for an intro weekend, suggests to me that it might work for a first time camp even if 2 weeks. If you had not done the mother daughter weekend I'd say it was long and to look for 1 week camps. My DD started going to 1 week camps at 8. She went to girl scout camp first. She hated that, but wanted to go to camp again. It was months before she told me what was wrong. They required you to go to the bathroom with a partner, but twice the counselor wouldn't help DD get a partner and she wet her pants. DD never wanted to do scout camp again. The next two summers she did a camp run by our diocese. It was OK. DD liked attending, but it wasn't an impactful experience. She took a couple summers off from camps because of other commitments and started going to a two week nature camp every year after that. The cost per week was significantly less than any other camp. The amount of joy was significantly more. DD even requested to attend the summer after high school graduation --every year this camp has a few who do this. Plus this was the only camp that dealt with her diet (celiac) really smoothly. I didn't have to pack any food. ETA my DD is introverted and has never attended camp with someone she knew. She never picked any activity because someone would be there. She chose entirely by her own interests in the activities. Edited January 16, 2017 by Diana P. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 My fourth will be going to camp at 7 years old this summer but only for a short week, 5 days, I think. The older kids started when they were a little older only because that's when our family started sending kids. The older two were probably 10 and 9? My third went at 7. They go with a church group. There are tons of boys that go but my little girl might be the only one in her cabin from our group. I wish she whew taking a buddy, but she will be fine either way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I was just looking at my dd's camp photos. One started attending when she was 8 with 3 day, then 4 day then a week. One started at 7 following the same pattern. One will start this summer at almost 9. I made sure they were all able to take care of themselves with some guidance, they were able to tell if anything untoward happened. I have been surprised that my most introverted one loves camp the most. She went to an out of state math camp last summer and had a blast. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) I'd start smaller, with a day camp or a Girl Scout or similar camp that is one week or less. She can look forward to the longer, more costly camp when she is a bit older. Both my girls did Girl Scout summer camps (week or less) starting about that age, and loved it. Oh, and one did a week-long campo run by the local park district. Again, loved it. I noticed the Girl Scout run camps were far more secure, though, not even giving out address except at last minute to parents (didn't want creeps showing up. Yes, we knew where camps were, just not street address until last minute). Also the Scouts are big on buddy system, for safety sake no girl is EVER alone. And there is no running. Edited January 16, 2017 by JFSinIL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) My kids have only done a 1 week camp, but they both loved it. DD12 went when she was 8 and 9, and dd9 when she was 5 (only three days though) and the fll week when she was 6. There was no contact with parents during that time. My older girl is outgoing, but the younger tends to be shy. It was a typical beach/crafts/campfire sort of place. Each cabin had a teen counselor. They had both spent a week at their grandfather's place without me before that. I think it did have benefits - I wouldn't say with social skills exactly - but I think they both felt more confident in their ability to take care of themselves and get along. TA: THis was a Lutheran church camp, and really reasonably priced. I would be hesitant to do something expensive as a first try. Edited January 16, 2017 by Bluegoat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderchica Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 There's a big difference between a weekend with mom and two weeks with no one she knows there, especially at 9. She probably doesn't realize this, and is mostly thinking about what a great time you had there together. I went for four days at 9, with no one I knew, and was miserable. I was super nervous to go to week long church camp at 12 because of that experience. BUT- since I knew and was with a large group, I had a great time and continued to go each year. I think that's too long and too young for most kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 There's a big difference between a weekend with mom and two weeks with no one she knows there, especially at 9. She probably doesn't realize this, and is mostly thinking about what a great time you had there together. I went for four days at 9, with no one I knew, and was miserable. I was super nervous to go to week long church camp at 12 because of that experience. BUT- since I knew and was with a large group, I had a great time and continued to go each year. I think that's too long and too young for most kids. Having someone she knows around is not an issue for every child. Not even every shy 8 year old. YMMV. It was not an issue for mine. I found it's more about the staff and organization of the camp. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 We're trying to make this same decision right now for our shy (and slightly anxious) 9-yr-old. She has been asking to go to a traditional summer camp for a while now, and then the mailer for our local Girl Scout camp arrived (how do we even get on these mailing lists? - she's not a girl scout). But now she's begging to go away to Girl Scout camp. I'm just not sure about sending her, but I remember loving my first time at camp (a 3-week CTY camp) even though I was a very shy 12-yr-old. The Girl Scout Camp does offer a 3-day option that might be a better first time experience for a 9-yr-old. You drop them off on Wed morning and pick them up Friday evening. We're probably going to sign up for the open-house to visit the camp, and then we'll decide. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northwoodsmama Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) Having someone she knows around is not an issue for every child. Not even every shy 8 year old. YMMV. It was not an issue for mine. I found it's more about the staff and organization of the camp.This is her totally! Even though she is shy, she never hesitates to try something by herself! Maybe has something to do with being a triplet? My other DD is much more outgoing and just has an easier time socially. Maybe she sees this as a chance to be an individual? Edited January 16, 2017 by Northwoodsmama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northwoodsmama Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 I went to sleep away camp for the first time at 7. I was supposed to go for two weeks, but I liked it so much I stayed all six. Similar thing happened the next year, and the next. Two weeks was not too long for me, actually not long enough. I was extremely shy, but I enjoyed camp. Probably because it was a horseback riding camp and I fell in love. Plus as the youngest campers, we had our own little cabin with an older, grandmotherly type lady who stayed with us and cooked breakfast for us in our cabin. It's where I learned to love "egg in a nest." I guess you can't always figure out whether a shy child will do well or not just because of shyness. If she really wants to go, I think that's an excellent sign. Why not let her surprise you?? I would not be as positive on sending her if she herself wasn't eager to go. This is one of the attractions- an opportunity for riding lessons daily! She loves horses and has ridden some but with dance there's not enough time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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