Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

The no-hate LGBTQ support thread. (a JAWM if that isn't clear)

bibiche

By bibiche,
in The Chat Board

 Share

Recommended Posts

marbel

marbel

Posted
Posted

I'm supposed to take dd to her youth group Friday. This is a youth group only for non straight teens and their allies. I'm a bit scared. Everyone in the downtown area knows who this building houses. It is a safe place for these teens to hang out and just be who they are. It's important for dd to be there and with them this week but I'm scared. I will take her but I will worry.

 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:   to you, your daughter and her youth group.  Really to all affected by this.  :grouphug: :grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
leeannpal

leeannpal

Posted
Posted

My gay cousin from Orlando died many years ago of AIDS. Although the Pulse wasn't around then, I am sure he frequented other gay clubs. When he first came out, my whole family was concerned about how our staunch Methodist grandmother would react to the news. My cousin said that she simply told him that she loved him, he was her grandson, and family should stand by each other. The rest of my Christian family reacted similarly, and we were all heartbroken over his death. No one deserves to be mistreated, harmed or killed because of who he or she is.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SemiSweet

SemiSweet

Posted
Posted

My fil is gay. He married my mil because that was the thing he was supposed to do. The day after dh and I eloped fil came to our house to tell dh they were separating. It took him another 2 years to come out to his family. He was so scared of everyone's reactions that he sent us all letters while he was away on vacation. Thankfully not a single member showed him anything aside from love and acceptance.

 

It hurts me to think that anyone has to hide who they are from the ones closest to them. I hurt for anyone who lives in fear of their lives or has to be subjected to harassment as a normal part of life.

That's great that he had so much support. When my dad came out my mom's mother called his military commander who then launched a huge investigation into our family, and almost cost my dad his retirement, he was at about 18 years at that point, long before Don't ask don't tell. Thankfully, they're couldn't find him "guilty", so they just took away his clearance and basically forced him to retire right at 20 years. She wasn't a kind woman in general. One of his brothers was convinced it was just a phase, even after he'd been out for over 20 years. People are weird and sucky sometimes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
rutamattatt

rutamattatt

Posted
Posted

I wish I had words to put to my feelings, but I just can't quite find the right ones.  

 

I'm sick in the pit of my stomach about it all.  I am having this awful realization that as a heterosexual married female and because I believe that you love one another (period) and I can't imagine people being so cruel or unkind, I have totally underestimated the difficulty LGBTQ may have walking through a world that doesn't bat an eye at my relationship and life, but could do something like this because of theirs.  I've been too naive.  Now I want to be proactive, but I am lost as to how I can help.  I want to make sure I start with my heart but don't end there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
umsami

umsami

Posted
Posted

Reading the story of the survivors and the victims.... nothing to do but ache. 

 

My favorite (if one can say a favorite) was the Mom who went clubbing with her son every weekend.  The Mom was killed.  I just thought, "How wonderful to know that he was so accepted by his Mom."

 

As far as I know, 95% of the Muslim community is still in denial that either there are gay Muslims (yes, really....people argue that with me) or that we need to change the way we talk to and about LGBTIQ Muslims in our community.  Still, I have massive hopes, prayers, dreams that this will start the conversation and things will change.  

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Haiku

Haiku

Posted
Posted

As far as I know, 95% of the Muslim community is still in denial that either there are gay Muslims 

 

I heard an interview on the radio in which an out, gay Muslim man talked about getting hate mail from people who claimed that if he is gay, he can't be Muslim, and if he's Muslim, he can't be gay.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Corraleno

Corraleno

Posted
Posted

"I love you mommy." How can anyone read that text and not sob?

 

I cannot wrap my head around the idea of denying fellow citizens the right to marry for love, while fighting tooth and nail for the right of haters to own the tools of mass murder. No one was ever killed by a wedding.

 

I do believe that, in the end, love will win. The haters know they are losing; they are lashing out because of it and the unintended consequence of their hatred is to drive thoughtful, caring, decent people in the opposite direction.

 

#lovewins

  • Like 13
Link to comment
Share on other sites
swimmermom3

swimmermom3

Posted
Posted

I'm supposed to take dd to her youth group Friday. This is a youth group only for non straight teens and their allies. I'm a bit scared. Everyone in the downtown area knows who this building houses. It is a safe place for these teens to hang out and just be who they are. It's important for dd to be there and with them this week but I'm scared. I will take her but I will worry.

 

:grouphug: I've been thinking so much about you and your dd.  Take good care of yourselves.  Sending thoughts of love and courage your way.  You are doing an amazing job.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
swimmermom3

swimmermom3

Posted
Posted

I wish I had words to put to my feelings, but I just can't quite find the right ones.  

 

I'm sick in the pit of my stomach about it all.  I am having this awful realization that as a heterosexual married female and because I believe that you love one another (period) and I can't imagine people being so cruel or unkind, I have totally underestimated the difficulty LGBTQ may have walking through a world that doesn't bat an eye at my relationship and life, but could do something like this because of theirs.  I've been too naive.  Now I want to be proactive, but I am lost as to how I can help.  I want to make sure I start with my heart but don't end there.

 

I appreciate this post.  I have had to go sit in a corner with my head in hands a couple of times over the past few days and just think (and cry). My BIL and his husband are currently traveling in Europe and for the first time in their travels, I am afraid.  I've never thought enough before to be afraid.  Never thought enough before to ask questions. Never thought to ask how I could make a difference.

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
BrookValley.

BrookValley.

Posted
Posted

I'm just angry. Unhelpful, I know, but it's the truth. And then a friend was assaulted the day after the shooting by some guy screaming homophobic slurs and threatening to kill him. He ended up with a busted face and some broken ribs. Why? Because he was gay. In 2016, because he was gay.

 

Yeah, so I'm angry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Corraleno

Corraleno

Posted
Posted

I needed to read this today:

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/06/15/what-happened-when-an-orthodox-jewish-congregation-went-to-a-gay-bar-to-mourn-orlando/

 

I hope it touches others. Also standing in solidarity and love.

 

Lt Gov Cox (Utah, Republican) 

 

Makes a very stark and welcome contrast.

 

 

Thank you for linking those stories. I hope we will see many more like them in the coming days and weeks. 

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Audrey

Audrey

Posted
Posted

I was watching a news report on the shooting, but I had to change it as a mother was sharing her son's last texts to her from inside the bathroom at Pulse. That is just stabbing pain to contemplate. That poor woman, her son torn from her while she could do nothing.

 

I wish I had magic. :(

 

 

It started with "I love you mommy."    My heart broke right there for both of them.  :crying:

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
umsami

umsami

Posted
Posted

On a positive note, many US embassies around the world were flying the Rainbow flag this month for Pride Month.

http://www.washingtonblade.com/2016/06/08/u-s-embassies-consulates-acknowledge-pride-month/

 

The Jamaican AG was upset, but has now deleted her tweets.

 

Curious me wonders if it's flying in Saudi, Egypt, and other Muslim countries.  I hope so, but I doubt it.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Catalytic

Catalytic

Posted
Posted

On a positive note, many US embassies around the world were flying the Rainbow flag this month for Pride Month.

http://www.washingtonblade.com/2016/06/08/u-s-embassies-consulates-acknowledge-pride-month/

 

The Jamaican AG was upset, but has now deleted her tweets.

 

Curious me wonders if it's flying in Saudi, Egypt, and other Muslim countries.  I hope so, but I doubt it.

 

There is a sign in our commissary about it being Pride month, I'll have to look around the installation and see if any Pride flags are flying. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Audrey

Audrey

Posted
Posted (edited)

That's great that he had so much support. When my dad came out my mom's mother called his military commander who then launched a huge investigation into our family, and almost cost my dad his retirement, he was at about 18 years at that point, long before Don't ask don't tell. Thankfully, they're couldn't find him "guilty", so they just took away his clearance and basically forced him to retire right at 20 years. She wasn't a kind woman in general. One of his brothers was convinced it was just a phase, even after he'd been out for over 20 years. People are weird and sucky sometimes.

 

 

My dad was in Navy intelligence his last several years and when he was at Key West (his last hitch before retirement), he was part of that kind of investigation.  He really hated it.  After he was retired he admitted that there were several such investigations that he just passed through with no grounds for charges.  He said once that he'd been on a ship where there was a huge fire -- and a fire at sea is one of the most terrifying situations for a sailor to be in -- and that in those hours he didn't give a rat's ass who the guy next to him loved or didn't.  They were fighting to save each other from a horrific end.  And as he would say, "every sailor is a fellow to me."  I think that was one of the first times I ever thought about gay people being treated differently. 

 

I'm glad that I had parents who had compassion for people.  Later in my youth, one of my best friends in high school came out to me.  He was afraid to tell his mother, but I had thought the right thing to do was encourage him to talk to her.  That did not go well, and I've never quite got over the guilt of that.  When his mother kicked him out, my parents took him in.  We were fostering another teen boy at the time and it all ended up working out well.  My friend graduated with me and went on to have a pretty good career as a stage manager.  He met a lot of fantastic people and made a huge impact on many more.  Sadly, he passed a few years ago in a car accident.  The world lost a really good man there. 

 

It makes me sad that, as a society, we can't get our compassion together enough to get past the crap in the way.  But, then ... sometimes... people can surprise you in the good way.  To see the lines around the block waiting to give blood in Orlando.  That's hope in action.  I think that's the key, though.  Words don't cut it.  Actions get things done. 

Edited by Audrey
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SemiSweet

SemiSweet

Posted
Posted

My dad was in Navy intelligence his last several years and when he was at Key West (his last hitch before retirement), he was part of that kind of investigation. He really hated it. After he was retired he admitted that there were several such investigations that he just passed through with no grounds for charges. He said once that he'd been on a ship where there was a huge fire -- and a fire at sea is one of the most terrifying situations for a sailor to be in -- and that in those hours he didn't give a rat's ass who the guy next to him loved or didn't. They were fighting to save each other from a horrific end. And as he would say, "every sailor is a fellow to me." I think that was one of the first times I ever thought about gay people being treated differently.

 

I'm glad that I had parents who had compassion for people. Later in my youth, one of my best friends in high school came out to me. He was afraid to tell his mother, but I had thought the right thing to do was encourage him to talk to her. That did not go well, and I've never quite got over the guilt of that. When his mother kicked him out, my parents took him in. We were fostering another teen boy at the time and it all ended up working out well. My friend graduated with me and went on to have a pretty good career as a stage manager. He met a lot of fantastic people and made a huge impact on many more. Sadly, he passed a few years ago in a car accident. The world lost a really good man there.

 

It makes me sad that, as a society, we can't get our compassion together enough to get past the crap in the way. But, then ... sometimes... people can surprise you in the good way. To see the lines around the block waiting to give blood in Orlando. That's hope in action. I think that's the key, though. Words don't cut it. Actions get things done.

I agree, my dad has told me on several occasions that when his commander retired him he expressed regret over the way things were. This would've been JUST before DADT passed. The laws often don't match people's opinions. I was active duty when DADT was repealed, it was a great day, as I have quite a few gay active duty friends.

 

The people investigating my dad went so far as to interrogate my mother, it was pretty traumatic for her. She loved/loves my dad and didn't want to risk his retirement/our medical benefits, they were pretty aggressive with her from my understanding. To deny that LGBT people haven't had serious life-altering discrimation makes my blood boil.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cindy in FL.

Cindy in FL.

Posted
Posted

I'm supposed to take dd to her youth group Friday. This is a youth group only for non straight teens and their allies. I'm a bit scared. Everyone in the downtown area knows who this building houses. It is a safe place for these teens to hang out and just be who they are. It's important for dd to be there and with them this week but I'm scared. I will take her but I will worry.

 I am praying for safety and peace for your dd and others in this group.

 

I am so very sorry that this tragedy occurred, and for the hurt and fear that will be a part of so many lives for years to come (always, really). 

There is absolutely NO excuse or any grounds for someone to commit such a heinous act against other human beings.  May love and healing be poured out in abundance to all affected by this tragedy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...