Any reason to get an ADHD diagnosis if not in public school?

[Sarah0000]

Is there any reason I should look into getting DS, age four, ADD/ADHD testing if we'll be homeschooling?

 

We plan to enroll in a Ca homeschool charter, if that makes a difference. He is also very advanced, if that makes a difference.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

Yes.

 

But honestly, age four is very young to be certain it's ADHD.

 

 

Having a valid diagnosis, at any age, in any school/work environment, is helpful in determining the best strategies for doing what needs done and managing expectations.

[Tanaqui]

Four is very young for a diagnosis. I would wait. However, I would NOT wait until he's grown. If he does have ADHD, he may need accommodations in college or work. It will be much easier to already have the diagnosis than to try to scramble to get it.

 

The same goes for if you ever plan to enroll him in a brick-and-mortar school prior to college, or if you anticipate that this might happen if something happens in his life that makes homeschooling more difficult, such as a parent dying*. It's better to have the diagnosis before you need it.

 

* Though we all assume that will never happen, it does happen sometimes, and we should be prepared for it by having a written will and having custody issues determined and whatever. And by having all our diagnostic ducks in a row.

[poppy]

A reputable doc won't diagnose at that age. But if you think he had impulse control or executive function or other issues you can start treatment at 4 .

[prairiewindmomma]

Yes, there is a social impact to ADD/ADHD.  Four year olds can still be rambunctious and be socially acceptable. 8-9 year olds, not so much.   Likewise, inattentiveness and executive function deficits have major impacts, especially as children age.

[Sarah0000]

Thanks. I'm not at all certain he has ADHD. He seems like a rambunctious four year old to me. He can focus for long periods of time when he wants to, like for reading aloud or Legos.

 

People have started telling me they think he has ADHD, including one person with a diagnosed ADHD son. That's the only reason I'm thinking about it at all. So, is 6-7 a good age for testing?

 

Can anyone recommend any resources for parenting ADHD or otherwise difficult children? I'm not sure how to word that because I don't think of DS as difficult at all, and *I* can control him just fine, but DH on the other hand....advice?

[Butter]

My 7 year old's doctor agreed he is likely ADHD.  She said it is up to me if I want to get him officially diagnosed.  She said him being homeschooled is the best scenario for a kid like him educationally, but if it is affecting his learning or social situations, then it would be a good idea to diagnose and medicate.  Otherwise, I don't need to worry about it since a diagnosis wouldn't change how I deal with him, it would be because we decided getting him medication would be best for him.  She wouldn't even have considered diagnosing him at 4, though.

[mamakelly]

I got an official diagnosis for my son once he hit middle school. He may need it for college.

[justasque]

Yes.

 

But honestly, age four is very young to be certain it's ADHD.

 

 

Having a valid diagnosis, at any age, in any school/work environment, is helpful in determining the best strategies for doing what needs done and managing expectations.

 

Having an accurate label helps to access services and accommodations.  The testing involved in getting a diagnosis should help you to understand areas of weakness (e.g. working memory, etc.) so you can adjust teaching/parenting strategies accordingly and/or advocate that any other teachers/caregivers do so.   Having an official label can help other people understand and have patience for behaviors etc. that are due to the disability; this includes family members.  Getting a label takes time, and it's easier and less stressful to do when you are not working on a deadline or an urgent need (e.g. if you put him in school, if he needs documentation for accommodations for testing or other programs, etc.).  

 

I don't think you need to be in a rush, at age 4, but  if you feel that something may need to be addressed down the line, it's not a bad idea to start looking up what is available in your area.

[catz]

I had people telling me about my son at 4 including his preschool teachers. He's 15 now and is absolutely not ADHD. He has some sensory quirks and lagging executive function stuff and is highly to profoundly gifted. So I would wait until 7-8 and have a full battery of tests with someone who has lots of experience with quirky kids. I've seen a few kids led down a certain road that turned out to be a dead end. I also know people who had testing done at 5 only needing to have it be redone after a few years.

Edited January 2, 2016 by WoolySocks

[Garga]

Yes: for accommodations at college. I need to get this ball rolling for my own ADHD son. He's going into 9th. I'm pretty sure I accomodate his ADHD, but it's so natural to me that I'm not aware that I'm doing it. He may need something in place for him in college.

[Tap]

At that age, I wouldn't unless you are considering medications.  You can still use strategies common for kids with ADD/ADHD without the diagnosis.  I don't think having the diagnosis is harmful at that age, as long as it isn't used as an excuse.  If you need to have a reason why certain things are happening, then it can be helpful.  ie...why can Johnny concentrate for 5 hours on Legos rebuilding designs from memory, but not remember to fill both the dogs water and food, when you just asked him to.  But, understanding ADD/ADHD doesn't come from the diagnosis, it comes from research and taking the time to learn and understand it. 

 

 

I waited until high school to have my kids diagnosed, because that is when we needed to start meds. It wasn't until they started to feel like the ADD/ADHD was affecting their emotional health that we went for diagnosis. I knew they both were affected by it, and the beauty of homeschooling was that I could just work around it. They grew up knowing that they had strengths and weaknesses in certain areas and while sometimes we may have labeled it, for the most part we just called it as we saw it.  When they went to public school, that is when they needed to be able to focus on someone else's time schedule.  

 

 

[wapiti]

You might also post on the Learning Challenges board.

 

I agree with the others that I'd probably wait on any testing for now - for reasons of accuracy and expense - as I'd much rather have a full workup that includes IQ and achievement testing, etc. to rule out overlapping and comorbid issues before accepting a diagnosis of ADHD.

 

With difficulties at 4 y.o., I might wonder about sensory issues, as that's a great age to get some OT done in cases of SPD.

[Lady Florida.]

I'm going to agree with some other posters on a a few things, and add my own comments.

 

1. Four is quite young to look for a diagnosis, but if you're already wondering then keep an eye on him for the next few years.

 

2. There is a social impact from ADHD and it can be devastating if no one wants to be your friend because you're too wild, too loud, always interrupt, etc. It leaves kids ripe for getting in with the wrong group of friends. 

 

3. We had ds diagnosed at age 6 because it was having big impact on him at activities and was hindering his ability to make and keep friends. He's been on medication since that time. The age you choose to look for a dx (and your son might not actually have ADHD - you won't know until you test) will depend on the severity. At four it's normal to be rambunctious. If his maturity and ability to focus, calm down, follow rules, etc. lags behind his peers in the next few years, then it's time to find out why.

 

4. I've known hs friends over the years who felt that because they homeschool there was no need to get a dx for their probably-ADHD kids. They didn't want to give their kid a label. Labels are not a bad thing, however. Now many of those kids are struggling at the high school and college level. Ds, who has a long medical paper trail, has accommodations in college for his ADHD. I have one friend who thinks her young dd might have ADHD. She was not going to look for a diagnosis until we were having a conversation once and I was telling her about ds' accommodations. Now she sees the benefit of a dx.

 

5. A diagnosis can help both you and your child, even if he doesn't end up on medication. He'll understand he's not "bad", lazy, unmotivated, or all of the other self-confidence killing labels that are slapped on kids with ADHD. I'd much rather my child have the ADHD label than any of those other unhelpful ones. He might feel better about himself knowing there's a reason why he's the way he is, and that there are many other people (kids and adults) like him. It can help you learn how to deal with his behaviors. People might tell you he needs a stronger hand, but what kids with ADHD need is a different kind of hand. You will know he's not doing things just to push your buttons, and you will learn ways to teach him how to cope with his ADHD.

[SparklyUnicorn]

4 seems a bit too young to make a diagnosis for that

 

 

 

 

[PeterPan]

Is there any reason I should look into getting DS, age four, ADD/ADHD testing if we'll be homeschooling?

 

We plan to enroll in a Ca homeschool charter, if that makes a difference. He is also very advanced, if that makes a difference.

Not to be blunt, but what is going on that it's so obvious to you at this age?  ADHD in a 4 yo is almost indistinguishable from typical 4 yo behavior.  You might be seeing symptoms of something else or not have the right label for it yet.  Just the fact that it's on your mind, to me, tells me there's enough that you ought to figure out *what* is going on and make sure you're assessing it correctly.  

 

So that would be where I would start.  What's going on, what are you seeing, etc.  No, you're not likely to get an ADHD diagnosis at 4, mercy.  My ds was diagnosed at newly 6.  Actually, the psych got it wrong and in the last year he has had MORE evals and gotten his label bumped twice, so that now he is at ASD level 2 with ADHD-combined.  When we started, that first (I have no polite words here) psych just said ADHD-inattentive, which was so OBVIOUSLY woefully inaccurate it was pathetic.  

 

So they're not going to diagnose at age 4.  That doesn't mean you can't do anything about it.  Come to LC, lay out what's going on, and let people help you sort it out, kwim?  You're seeing something and there ARE things you can do right now.  Just depends on what you're seeing.  I think you have to go with your gut.  If you're asking for help, you need help.  

[Sarah0000]

I think he's fine, and his behavior is typical of a four year old, especially a four year old who has always been primarily used to one parent asking him to do things one way versus a kid who is perhaps more used to adapting to different expectations and methods of communication.

 

Other parents have mentioned it, though. And my DH says he doesn't think he should have to force DS to stop, calm down, and listen to what he's saying to get his attention. I keep saying that expectation is unreasonable for a new four year old, but I'm not really any more qualified than he is to say.

 

Sometimes I do have to capture DS, tell him to take three big breaths to calm down, before he can really hear what I'm saying. Is that unusual for a normal, new four year old? If he really wants to do something that I'm telling him not to, if we just tell him no he's likely to do it anyway, but if I explain to him that now is a time for him to make a choice to obey or not obey and what the repercussions are, he always obeys willingly a d calmly. DH thinks he should be able to just say no and that's that. Is that kind of scaffolding unusual for a four year old?

[Anne in CA]

A gifted child may need more scaffolding than an ordinary one. I might consider reading up on giftedness also. Sometimes gifted children are mistakenly diagnosed with ADHD so it is worth knowing the ins and out of both. What you are describing is advanced decision making and age appropriate impulsiveness all wrapped up in the same kiddo. That is not typical, but that is probably not ADHD, either. However, as others pointed out, four is too young for an accurate diagnoses.

[1bassoon]

 

 

5. A diagnosis can help both you and your child, even if he doesn't end up on medication. He'll understand he's not "bad", lazy, unmotivated, or all of the other self-confidence killing labels that are slapped on kids with ADHD. I'd much rather my child have the ADHD label than any of those other unhelpful ones. He might feel better about himself knowing there's a reason why he's the way he is, and that there are many other people (kids and adults) like him. It can help you learn how to deal with his behaviors. People might tell you he needs a stronger hand, but what kids with ADHD need is a different kind of hand. You will know he's not doing things just to push your buttons, and you will learn ways to teach him how to cope with his ADHD.

 

This. There is someone in my life who likely should have been diagnosed ADD (inattentive) as a child. Instead, this person grew up thinking they were a stupid, lazy, daydreamer. I'd prefer the label.

 

[kirstenhill]

I think some very compliant 4 year olds will just stop if you tell them "no", but most need more reminders, wrangling, time ins/time outs, etc.  I have a very stubborn 4 year old who very rarely does what I want him to the first time, and often tries to do the opposite.  We're working on it (obviously it causes some big problems), but he just has a very stubborn personality.  My DD was kind of like this too, and grew beyond it for the most part (though she certainly still has a stubborn streak!).

 

I also have an almost 7-year-old that we suspect has ADHD or some sensory issues or...something.  (We have testing right after he turns seven next month).  We are pursuing testing because the things in him that were sort of over-active, impulsive, sort-of-immature yet also "normal" at 4 or 5 are seeming more and more out of place as he hasn't "grown out of" them.  He struggles to participate appropriately in group settings that most 6 year olds can handle.  He wants friends but has a hard time actually developing a friendship.  His meltdowns are increasingly causing stress for our family.   I don't think for us getting a diagnosis of ADHD or SPD or ?? in and of itself is going to help us, but I am hoping that having an expert point us in the right direction to helping him or possibly getting some type of therapy or just knowing what kind of coping strategies will be most effective will make our life more reasonable and peaceful.   I didn't seek this until I thought, "I will go crazy here unless we get some help to figure out DS6". 

 

I also want it for a future paper trail. I don't want to try medication right away, but maybe we need to go there.  He might need accommodations in the future.  He might want or need to try public school at some point.   I've also seen first hand that there is a correlation in the teen years between ADHD and struggling with other mental health issues, addictions etc.  We know two teens personally with ADHD and depression who tried to take their own lives.  Not that every teen with ADHD goes down that road certainly, but knowing if I have an impulsive kid with ADHD (if that is what it turns out to be), I would want to watch all the more closely for the warning signs as he gets older. 

[PeterPan]

Thanks. I'm not at all certain he has ADHD. He seems like a rambunctious four year old to me. He can focus for long periods of time when he wants to, like for reading aloud or Legos.

 

People have started telling me they think he has ADHD, including one person with a diagnosed ADHD son. That's the only reason I'm thinking about it at all. So, is 6-7 a good age for testing?

 

Can anyone recommend any resources for parenting ADHD or otherwise difficult children? I'm not sure how to word that because I don't think of DS as difficult at all, and *I* can control him just fine, but DH on the other hand....advice?

We've had book lists for ADHD over on LC, so definitely do a search there.  Anything by Holloway (Superparenting ADHD, etc.) as well as The Explosive Child by Greene.

 

Rambunctious can mean more things.  You could be seeing sensory seeking, which means you'd want to reading about sensory issues.  There are even some provocative books like ADHD Does Not Exist (which of course finally has the author admitting DOES) that explore all the OTHER causes of behavioral issues.  That can be an interesting read.  For some kids it's connected to diet, food allergies, that kind of thing.  

[PeterPan]

I think he's fine, and his behavior is typical of a four year old, especially a four year old who has always been primarily used to one parent asking him to do things one way versus a kid who is perhaps more used to adapting to different expectations and methods of communication.

 

Other parents have mentioned it, though. And my DH says he doesn't think he should have to force DS to stop, calm down, and listen to what he's saying to get his attention. I keep saying that expectation is unreasonable for a new four year old, but I'm not really any more qualified than he is to say.

 

Sometimes I do have to capture DS, tell him to take three big breaths to calm down, before he can really hear what I'm saying. Is that unusual for a normal, new four year old? If he really wants to do something that I'm telling him not to, if we just tell him no he's likely to do it anyway, but if I explain to him that now is a time for him to make a choice to obey or not obey and what the repercussions are, he always obeys willingly a d calmly. DH thinks he should be able to just say no and that's that. Is that kind of scaffolding unusual for a four year old?

I think the best way to tell how he compares to his peers is to get him in with his peers.  Is this your oldest?  It's true that ages 2-5 are a lot of that kind of formative, behavioral, discipline, connection stuff.  However, to me, I think your dh is seeing things.  It's always hard to have perspective when it's your first dc.  *I* think your dh's concerns are valid and I think it's reasonable to want answers for them.  And, you know, there are really basic things you could do like a hearing exam.  We can get it done around here at the university for $35.  Your ped will have an EF survey, ASD screening tools, and behavioral things that they could go through, just to see if there are more things going on.  

 

To me it sounds like you've got some impulsivity going on.  You've got enough going on that your dh is finding him challenging to work with and that your dh is thinking he needs *more* assistance to slow down and attend and have expected behavior than his peers.  I think these are valid concerns.  Sometimes with SN what happens is we see lots of little *dots* but we don't *connect* them till later.  You're seeing some dots.  The question is whether there are MORE dots that you could notice.  Like if some of those dots include not responding, sensory seeking, using inappropriate force, speech delays, etc., those might be some red flags that would say oh, let's get this or that done.  

 

So that's the kind of stuff I would be looking for, those other dots.  And as far as comparing him to his peers, you can get him in classes.  Is he taking any sports or doing Sunday School or anything? 

 

And no, I don't think that having to *capture* a 4 yo to get them to slow down and listen is normal.  Something is up.  But not necessarily ADHD.  There could be more explanations.  That's why you take the time to do evals, to make sure you're understanding it correctly.  

 

In the meantime, you might read the Explosive Child book and do some work with easing transitions and collaboration, making games, etc. to see if some of those techniques can get him interacting with you better.  Have you noticed if it's occurring in patterns?  If you behavior log, you can see patterns.  It might be it's during transitions or when he has been doing things on his own.  It might be when he's trying to communicate or when he's over-stimulated.  Behavior log and see if you notice patterns.  You might see if it varies when you're doing something with him that is a *preferred* activity vs. non-preferred.  You might see if it changes when you're behind him or beside him or in a quiet environment vs. noisy.  

Edited January 3, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[PeterPan]

I don't think for us getting a diagnosis of ADHD or SPD or ?? in and of itself is going to help us, but I am hoping that having an expert point us in the right direction to helping him or possibly getting some type of therapy or just knowing what kind of coping strategies will be most effective will make our life more reasonable and peaceful.   

This is pretty common, with people going OK, I got the diagnosis but NOW what?!?!  And you're right in that sense that a label by itself doesn't solve things.  We even had disagreements, like what psych saying oh don't do this, and other people being AGHAST that we were not pursuing evidence-based therapies for our diagnoses.  Everybody has opinions!  For me, it has taken time.  It takes time to read through the report and notice these little details and go ok, that's a funky discrepancy in those scores, what is causing that??  And then you look it up and ask on LC and try to figure it out.  

 

You'd THINK psychs would do that for you, given that they get the big bucks, but NO.  To me, LC has been the best resource, because you can bounce ideas around and read and see what people have thought of for things.  

 

I will tell you, for us, now that we're at the SOMETHING has got to change because it's going to wreck our marriage and our home point, we're bringing in a behaviorist.  It's something to look into.  Homeschooling is so fiercely independent, people want to do everything themselves.  Me, I'm over the moon about this behaviorist so far.  Very intuitive about him, someone who finally understands.  I'm ever hopeful, sigh.

[kroe1]

It is an individual decision. We chose not to get an official diagnosis for our daughter. I did get lots of help from a homeschool board about how to teach her. For us, this plan worked very well as she now knows how to learn very effectively. At age 15, she no longer really has any issues.

[Tanaqui]

Thanks. I'm not at all certain he has ADHD. He seems like a rambunctious four year old to me. He can focus for long periods of time when he wants to, like for reading aloud or Legos.

 

I'm not saying your kid has ADHD. Again, he's young for a diagnosis.

 

However, I will point out that it is a myth that people with ADHD simply can't focus. Hyperfocus is a thing that's quite common with that group.

[Mandamom]

I'm not saying your kid has ADHD. Again, he's young for a diagnosis.

 

However, I will point out that it is a myth that people with ADHD simply can't focus. Hyperfocus is a thing that's quite common with that group.

My husband says that he loves the hyperfocus. Other times not so much :)  He started medication last year due to struggles that he continues to have as an adult.