fairfarmhand Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I am so so so sorry for the lousy attitudes that I had when I was a teen. While I did not argue or rebel, I was frequently sullen and silent to punish you for being my mom. I was also queen of doing a half-hearted job when I was asked to do something I really didn't want to do. Please accept my apology for this behavior and know that fate is getting me back for the things I did. Sincerely, The mother of a 13 year old who is getting back on the mower for the third time this morning because she's determined that I a m asking too much. 37 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 My mother always said "I hope you have five just like you." She doesn't know the half of it. I just cried my eyes out to her not knowing what to do with my 14 year old. Hugs to you. Many, many hugs. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 You gotta laugh or you will have to cry. Honestly, she's so much easier than my oldest, but she;s still a teen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yes, my mother just laughs and laughs when I tell her stuff. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 I didn't realize how irritating I must have been until my second dd made it to the teen years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I missed many, many years with my mom due to my parent's divorce and believing all the lies my dad told me about her. (Who questions their parent at age 11? My mom was horrid!) It wasn't until college that I figured out he was lying - then I was happy to be on my own and enjoying life. Mom still visited, but I never really thought much about it. When my oldest was born, we reconnected some. Ditto that with my middle and youngest. But we lived miles apart so visits were rare. As my kids aged, we started including my mom in more and more of what we did. My kids love her. When my oldest left for college I truly understood why my mom cried dropping me off (how could she be SAD for me???). Now that we're empty nesting... I'm finding I wish we had included her far, far more than we did. I'm appreciative that she's always been there for me even during my belief of my dad's lies. She's still there for us. We weren't going to be able to fit our "traditional" trip to Niagara Falls for middle son's fall break (from college) in our budget this year... we still can't... she's paying for it. May I always be there for my kids too - no matter what. Enjoy the journey. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 I missed many, many years with my mom due to my parent's divorce and believing all the lies my dad told me about her. (Who questions their parent at age 11? My mom was horrid!) It wasn't until college that I figured out he was lying - then I was happy to be on my own and enjoying life. Mom still visited, but I never really thought much about it. When my oldest was born, we reconnected some. Ditto that with my middle and youngest. But we lived miles apart so visits were rare. As my kids aged, we started including my mom in more and more of what we did. My kids love her. When my oldest left for college I truly understood why my mom cried dropping me off (how could she be SAD for me???). Now that we're empty nesting... I'm finding I wish we had included her far, far more than we did. I'm appreciative that she's always been there for me even during my belief of my dad's lies. She's still there for us. We weren't going to be able to fit our "traditional" trip to Niagara Falls for middle son's fall break (from college) in our budget this year... we still can't... she's paying for it. May I always be there for my kids too - no matter what. Enjoy the journey. This really made me miss my mom. I wish she were still around. :( I'd love to be able to hear her say I told you so.... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 This really made me miss my mom. I wish she were still around. :( I'd love to be able to hear her say I told you so.... :grouphug: If only we could go back in time... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professormom Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I had a similar experience last night with ds13. With the garbage. This is not a difficult job. Take out the garbage. Make sure you pick up anything that is on the floor (due to people letting it get too full... A whole other topic) and put a new bag back in. Duh, right?! Nope, it took 4 tries to complete 3 steps. I was an angel as a child, lol. At least that is my story. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 While I did not argue or rebel, I was frequently sullen and silent to punish you for being my mom. THIS! Seeing the ludicrousness written out is comforting somehow. My knee-jerk reaction is to think it's me... somehow I'm failing as a mom because dd is rude or snippy. But this is exactly it -- it's not logical or deserved. I think there is so much going on inside them that they punish the safest person. Lucky us. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I was an angel as a child, lol. At least that is my story. You know, I might be able to get away with that story as long as no one repeats it where I grew up. Once I hit high school I wasn't horrid (except to family) because at that point I had a mission (get an education and leave). My high school teachers loved me. ;) It's my elementary teachers who had to put up with... oh wait... I was an angel! :coolgleamA: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 THIS! Seeing the ludicrousness written out is comforting somehow. My knee-jerk reaction is to think it's me... somehow I'm failing as a mom because dd is rude or snippy. But this is exactly it -- it's not logical or deserved. I think there is so much going on inside them that they punish the safest person. Lucky us. 'Nope. It's not just you. I've felt this way too, but then I realize that it's less about me than it is about my teens. Those teen years are really really rotten. I wonder about the people who go "Teens are a modern day American phenomenon. Parents have made them the way they are." You know, so we can all feel guilty about how our miserable teens are all our own fault. Because you know...this is SOOOO much fun. :/ Actually, I think in some other cultures, teens are often trying so hard to not, you know starve to death or be murdered, or something else horrendous, that they are barely making it. They don't cop attitudes because they are dealing with life or death issues that put annoying stuff in perspective. And yes, I am glad that my dds don't have to worry about rape on a daily basis. I'll take sullen self-centeredness to that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Very early in our marriage, my hubby called his mom and apologized. Lol. (He got our oldest when he was 9) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom25girls Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hugs to all. I'm living in a house of female hormones (note the ages below of my four younger children living at home). I was an easy teenager (even Mom would agree). But my mother is slipping into early stage dementia and I really miss having a mom that I can talk to without worrying about the consequences... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 This really made me miss my mom. I wish she were still around. :( I'd love to be able to hear her say I told you so.... Shhhh.... close your eyes and listen... You can hear her. She's smiling and saying you had your moments, but it went by so fast.. you were doing exactly what you needed to do in order to grow up. And your girls are too. You're a good mom. :grouphug: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 My mother always said "I hope you have five just like you." She doesn't know the half of it. I just cried my eyes out to her not knowing what to do with my 14 year old. Hugs to you. Many, many hugs. My mom said that too, and never believed when I said I had two who were far worse. She came to visit and stayed for a week, and admitted defeat in the face of my superiorly challenging children :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Shhhh.... close your eyes and listen... You can hear her. She's smiling and saying you had your moments, but it went by so fast.. you were doing exactly what you needed to do in order to grow up. And your girls are too. You're a good mom. :grouphug: Okay, now I'm tearing up. I miss my mommy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I was a horrible child and even worse as a teen. I am thankful every day that I didn't get my "just desserts"...... yet! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Okay, now I'm tearing up. I miss my mommy. Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I miss my mum too. I never had a chance to talk "mom stuff" with her. (Hugs) to everyone missing their mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Y Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I am a mom of many, 5 of which have hit adulthood. Dh and I remind each other that parenthood is sometimes living in the trenches, fighting the battles to help our children to grow up to be the kind of people *other* people will find pleasant and useful later on in life.... I still have my mom. I would miss her very much if she were gone. ((((hugs))) to those whose mom isn't here anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 My mom said when I hit 13 I disappeared into my room and came out again when I was 17. ;) Right now, with my drama-girl, talking all the time, and anguishing (out loud) over every.little.thing. I might take one like me... I know in my heart the communication is better than silence, but boy is it exhausting for an introvert! ETA this morning while trying to drink coffee I was subject to a monologue about how the toaster never works right, and one of the waffles was brown "right here!" and "see this other one is still mushy" and how the entire day was now ruined... *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I wish I had had a good mom. I wish I had one I could talk to about my own children without heavy criticism and turning it all in to something about her. I wish I didn't need therapy to deal with it. Sorry, don't want to rain on your parade. I truly hope that my own kids can look back and say they had a good mom. That is my wish for them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I sometimes wish my oldest would have a kid just like him, but then I don't want to wish that on my future daughter-in-law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiddles Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 To paraphrase Mike from "The Middle"; Teenagers are supposed to be awful, that way you don't miss them so much when they leave. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 To paraphrase Mike from "The Middle"; Teenagers are supposed to be awful, that way you don't miss them so much when they leave. Just FYI, this doesn't always work. :grouphug: to those who miss their moms and to those who have a biological mother, but not a true mom. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 My mom said when I hit 13 I disappeared into my room and came out again when I was 17. ;) Right now, with my drama-girl, talking all the time, and anguishing (out loud) over every.little.thing. I might take one like me... I know in my heart the communication is better than silence, but boy is it exhausting for an introvert! ETA this morning while trying to drink coffee I was subject to a monologue about how the toaster never works right, and one of the waffles was brown "right here!" and "see this other one is still mushy" and how the entire day was now ruined... *sigh* Oh boy this sounds familiar. My extrovert drama king can have his day/ week life ruined by the smallest of events. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Sitting here thankful for my own mom, feeling a little fragile having just lost my dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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