xixstar Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 So if an (older) teen causes car damage while learning to drive -- do you write it off as cost of parenting or expect them to pay for the repair? Talking smaller bumper damage only to the car, nothing else harmed. So small enough you wouldn't call insurance over and wouldn't be ridiculously expensive. Also assume family financial dynamics are that covering extras like this are a struggle and teen (19yo in this case) works full time and probably has the resources to solve it. I am not tied to either possibility, mostly thinking it is just another cost of parenting and just disappointed because it is unlikely we will be able to repair it and it will just be another car blemish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 If he was doing his best, following directions, and you were in the car with him, I say it's just the cost of parenting. If he was ignoring directions and being unsafe, I'd have him pay for it. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 When my younger sister hit my brand new car one Christmas Day, it was clearly because she was angry (at someone else) and not thinking straight. She was very apologetic and offered to pay for the damage somehow. But I knew she didn't have the money. So what I told her was that I wasn't planning to get it fixed right away (the car body was plastic) and when I ever did, I would tell her how much it was then. I had the car for 10 years and never did get it fixed. So she was both on the hook and off the hook for the repair. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I have to say that my parents never made us (6 kids) pay for car damage, even though they were not well-off. So they considered it a cost of parenting. I will most likely take the same attitude, unless my kids have a significant income and I feel they need a lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 What would you do if you or dh did the damage? That's probably where I would start when deciding how I'd handle it. You mention 'just be another car blemish' like the car already has some dings. If so, I'd let it go. Like Katie mentioned above, if the teen was being reckless, I might feel more upset about it. Does it bother you that the teen has disposable income while you're scraping to get by? Maybe that is playing into your feelings here. I can understand that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 If he was still learning, I would chalk it up to a parenting cost. That said, we just made our oldest pay half to replace tires she ruined. She has been driving for a while though, and has a job. It was an honest mistake, but we felt like a point needed to be made with her about the importance of basic car care and the costs involved. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Cost of parenting. I think if I told my dc they had to pay for all accidents incurred while learning, dd would have refused to learn. Not because getting into an accident is expected, but because they just adds another layer of anxiety to learning this lifeskill. I think it's reasonable to say that you will be responsible for such costs for persons you agree to teach, if you agree to teach a person to drive in your vehicle. This is true whether not the person is an adult or the person is related because car insurance is attached to the vehicle, not the person driving. If you lend your car and it is in an accident without you present, it is still your insurance that pays. So, I think of it as the same with teaching, particularly my own dc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I'd chalk it up to just another car blemish and consider it a cost of parenting. However, if the teen was deliberately unsafe and didn't follow directions, I'd ask him/her to pay the cost of fixing it (assuming it was big enough of a blemish to get fixed). I just had a flashback to when my Dad was teaching me to drive. I went around a corner a little too fast and nearly took out a fire hydrant. I was the cause of all of his grey hair and, later, his baldness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xixstar Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 If he was still learning, I would chalk it up to a parenting cost. That said, we just made our oldest pay half to replace tires she ruined. She has been driving for a while though, and has a job. It was an honest mistake, but we felt like a point needed to be made with her about the importance of basic car care and the costs involved. This is part of it too -- they have had their permit for 2 years now. In the beginning stages it wouldn't have even crossed my mind but 2 years in they know how to drive and have simply been at the mercy of saving enough to buy a car (they did) and then waiting for a drivers test where first available appointment was 2 months later. My car has a few very minor scratches and this is the largest blemish - and no, we probably wouldn't fix it because there are other priorities on our funds right now. I would fix it if finances were in a better position. Honestly, if this happened in their own car, they wouldn't fix it nor would I suggest it ( the body of their car is not that great anyways). It is more that cosmetic car damage bothers me for my own car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I'd consider it a cost of parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I have to say that my parents never made us (6 kids) pay for car damage, even though they were not well-off. So they considered it a cost of parenting. I will most likely take the same attitude, unless my kids have a significant income and I feel they need a lesson. Agreed. I totaled a car and was not expected to pay for it. But I had no income and the accident was not due to negligence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Cost of parenting. My middle dd blew out the tire on the van when she hit the curb. We had just moved up from 30mph driving to 40mph driving and I did not choose where she was going to be driving carefully enough. My poor dd was learning to drive in a behemoth van. She hit the curb at a curve and it blew out the front tire. She was absolutely distraught and it took us months to get back to where she felt ready to tackle 40mph again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I don't know...both dh and I have dinged up our cars in the last year due to our own misjudgments. We haven't gotten them fixed because money is tight. I don't like looking at the dings but we both felt stupid enough when we did it that we didn't need anyone else highlighting our mistakes. It was nice to not have anyone mad when we messed up. I am pretty sure I would extend that same grace to my teen. I don't think it would be wrong to require payment but in my house it would be a cost of parenting thing. Repetitive carelessness would probably be different or result inmore conservative lending of car to teen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Bumper damage is part of learning to winter-drive here. All of our kids have put the car in the ditch at least once learning to stop on icy roads - I prefer the ditch to hitting someone else's car. Which is all to say that we have been in your spot - looking at car damage that doesn't need to be repaired that was caused by a new driver. This was our older car, so DH had the young driver help him fix it each time. Since you say the accident happened while the kid is LEARNING to drive, I think it's just part of the cost of letting them learn and forget it. If they were an independent driver and borrowing your car, I would expect them to help pay to have it fixed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 We would take the hit on that one as he is still in the learning phase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artichoke Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 This is part of it too -- they have had their permit for 2 years now. In the beginning stages it wouldn't have even crossed my mind but 2 years in they know how to drive and have simply been at the mercy of saving enough to buy a car (they did) and then waiting for a drivers test where first available appointment was 2 months later. My car has a few very minor scratches and this is the largest blemish - and no, we probably wouldn't fix it because there are other priorities on our funds right now. I would fix it if finances were in a better position. Honestly, if this happened in their own car, they wouldn't fix it nor would I suggest it ( the body of their car is not that great anyways). It is more that cosmetic car damage bothers me for my own car. I agreed cost of parenting until reading this. Two years experience doesn't equal learning to drive in my opinion unless there is still instruction going on. I'd have them pay for it since you've said you'd fix it if you had the money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 So if an (older) teen causes car damage while learning to drive -- do you write it off as cost of parenting or expect them to pay for the repair? Talking smaller bumper damage only to the car, nothing else harmed. So small enough you wouldn't call insurance over and wouldn't be ridiculously expensive. Also assume family financial dynamics are that covering extras like this are a struggle and teen (19yo in this case) works full time and probably has the resources to solve it. I am not tied to either possibility, mostly thinking it is just another cost of parenting and just disappointed because it is unlikely we will be able to repair it and it will just be another car blemish. I think the teen should incur the cost of driving. I think driving is a huge responsibility and if you can't pay for it you shouldn't be doing it. That said, we don't repair minor blemishes on our cars because it's expensive and I wouldn't ask anyone driving my car, a teen, my mom, a friend, a sitter, anyone, to do so even if it were their fault. If I had a very nice car that needed blemishes repaired on it, I simply would not let a teenager drive it. My car has a scrape where someone hit it in a parking lot, another scrape (to paint) where I accidentally brushed the garage because we were two cars parked tight, and then minor dents from the wind because it is a Nissan and apparently they make these out of tinfoil. You can buy a decent car for $1,500 around here and we live in a very high-cost area for cars, so I'd much, MUCH rather facilitate my teen's learning to save and spend, than debate $300 repairs. So I'd let it go but not because the teen isn't responsible for it--just because I think having a pretty car is a waste of money for a teenager, and if you want a pretty car then don't let a teenager drive it. I wouldn't let my daughter borrow diamond earrings, either, and those cost less than a car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Cost of parenting. But we don't get every ding and dent fixed up. We just drive our car around with a scratch after it gets scratched. That's life. I say this even though my oldest is 14 because I know for sure she will ding up my car. She already broke some things on my last car and they were not repaired because they were nonessentials. When I was 16, I was driving my mom's car, and I dented it. I drove home, and told her about it right away. She was upset, but she didn't make me repair it. If it was a repair that was necessary for the functionality of the car, we'd talk about splitting the cost or I'd pay for it myself depending on the money dynamics and how responsible the teen was in general and if I felt like they needed a lesson in taking responsibility for their actions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 For a still learning driver? Absolutely the cost of parenting. Whether it's a 14/15 yo or a 19 yo has nothing to do with it, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 This is part of it too -- they have had their permit for 2 years now. In the beginning stages it wouldn't have even crossed my mind but 2 years in they know how to drive and have simply been at the mercy of saving enough to buy a car (they did) and then waiting for a drivers test where first available appointment was 2 months later. My car has a few very minor scratches and this is the largest blemish - and no, we probably wouldn't fix it because there are other priorities on our funds right now. I would fix it if finances were in a better position. Honestly, if this happened in their own car, they wouldn't fix it nor would I suggest it ( the body of their car is not that great anyways). It is more that cosmetic car damage bothers me for my own car. A cost of parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Cost of parenting. I probably wouldn't fix it unless it were a safety issue because then surely I'd plow into something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okra Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Cost of parenting. But, I would make is clear that it would be the teens responsibility the next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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