Sex education for 10 yo female

[Misha]

My 10 year old DD has begun puberty. 

We have always had an open policy regarding sex education and questions, with answers being age-appropriate. I read some articles on Psychology Today and wonder if a lot of these must-knows for my DD's age range are necessary for a non-public school educated child to know at this age? 

Both of my daughters (ages 9 and 10) are very modest (their choice) and while I do not want to leave anything necessary out, I am wondering if my 10 year old needs to know about sex toys, anal and oral sex, etc.,  at this point in her life? I don't want to teach or not teach anything damaging at this young age, and I am at a loss as to what the right course is, education wise.

They understand the changes their bodies and boys' bodies will go through during puberty, and the emergence of feelings that will be new. We have "Growing Up: It's  A Girl Thing" and some where-babies-come-from titles but I've never delved consistently into sex as anything other than reproductive since they have not yet been at all interested in learning about sex. 

We have always taught them the proper words for body parts and bodily functions. That their bodies and genitals are theirs, not for someone else to touch until they are much older and in a happy, respectful relationship, and not due to any pressure placed upon them. That mature adults who care for each other are the people who should be having sex. They've learned about birth control and their right to say no at any time, and to never feel pressure to do anything with someone if they don't want to. 

 

I feel now that we are far behind and lacking in what they need to know, and I wonder how to catch up while respecting their modest sensibilities. What are your experiences in teaching (secular) sex education to your children? What do children need to know at 9 and 10? 

Thank you.

[itsheresomewhere]

I would make sure they know what oral/anal is. Too many kids have no idea that is a sex act and that you can get diseases from it.

[Okra]

FYI they do not teach about oral/anal anything at age 10 in public school.  They watch a video (separately boys with boys, etc.) about changes that happen as you grow older.  That's about the extent of it at age 10.  So, I wouldn't address those things right now. I would assume the vast majority of public schooled 10 year olds do not know about oral/anal.

 

Those things seem more appropriate for  middle teenage years, in my opinion.

 

 

[itsheresomewhere]

FYI they do not teach about oral/anal anything at age 10 in public school. They watch a video (separately boys with boys, etc.) about changes that happen as you grow older. That's about the extent of it at age 10. So, I wouldn't address those things right now. I would assume the vast majority of public schooled 10 year olds do not know about oral/anal.

 

Those things seem more appropriate for middle teenage years, in my opinion.

That changed not too long ago. They talk about it but not in too many details. 10 year olds have sex and do other sex acts so they are trying to make them educated about it. It may not be the best but it is better than nothing. The moved the video here to fourth grade but they started more sex Ed talks in second grade.

[Okra]

That changed not too long ago. They talk about it but not in too many details. 10 year olds have sex and do other sex acts so they are trying to make them educated about it. It may not be the best but it is better than nothing. The moved the video here to fourth grade but they started more sex Ed talks in second grade.

 

 

Well, I can assure you that in our school system, they have the "movie" in 4th grade. No sex ed  before that.  They do not talk about oral or anal.  

 

I realize there are 10 year old that are sexually assaulted, and that is really awful.  But, in our school system, they do try to handle this with the counselors.

[IfIOnly]

That changed not too long ago. They talk about it but not in too many details. 10 year olds have sex and do other sex acts so they are trying to make them educated about it. It may not be the best but it is better than nothing. The moved the video here to fourth grade but they started more sex Ed talks in second grade.

 

They also talk about sex toys. In fifth grade here.

[itsheresomewhere]

Well, I can assure you that in our school system, they have the "movie" in 4th grade. No sex ed before that. They do not talk about oral or anal.

 

I realize there are 10 year old that are sexually assaulted, and that is really awful. But, in our school system, they do try to handle this with the counselors.

.

 

 

It is the kids trying out stuff they are trying to educate before they get in over their heads.

[Junie]

I do not think that these topics need to be discussed with a 10 year old.  It's actually one of the (many) reasons that we homeschool.

[Mommy22alyns]

Whoa.  Call me whatever you want, but no way in H-E-double hockey sticks am I teaching my 10 year old about sex toys and an*l sex.  My 12 year old either, for that matter.  I can see that different approaches would be necessary for homeschooled vs. traditionally schooled kids.  Welcome to a HUGE reason why I homeschool.

 

And yes I have discussed puberty and sex with both of my girls in respectful and simple ways.  I'm not locking them in a closet, but I'm not going to go jump off the cliff either.

[bettyandbob]

I wouldn't assume the just because a child doesn't attend public school that he/she won't hear anything from peers. Unless you are absolutely never around peers and she absolutely never interacts with peers outside of adult hearing. 

 

You want to be your child's first source of information, so that 

1. they think of you as a source of information

2. they do not hear things previously learned from some one's older sibling and reinterpreted when passed on. 

 

That said I think at 10, you can mention some topics without going into excruciating detail. Then, revisit topics over the next few years. 

[Greta]

For some reason I can't get the Psychology Today article to load, but my general opinion is that the topics you mentioned are not ones that a typical 10 year old needs to know about. Create a comfortable and supportive atmosphere where your kids know they can come to you when they have questions, and answer those questions honestly and in age-appropriate ways when they come up. That way, your kids can come to you when they are ready for this information, and there's simply no need to risk pushing this info on them before they need or want to hear it.

[poppy]

I don't think it's necessary at 10. I might teach her some slang terms that she is likely to hear, or at least be very open to questions.

 

Here are the list of topics by grade. in my church's well regarded sexuality education program.

You can see the big leap between elementary and middle school and high school (click 'Table of Content')

Starting in 4th: http://www.uuabookstore.org/Our-Whole-Lives-Grades-4-6-P16663.aspx

Starting in 7th: http://www.uuabookstore.org/Our-Whole-Lives-Grades-7-9-Second-Edition-P17473.aspx

Starting in 10th: http://www.uuabookstore.org/Our-Whole-Lives-Grades-10-12-P16664.aspx

[Bluegoat]

i don't really think all of those topics are necessary either.  I think the only thing that it might be worthwhile communicating is that there are things other than penetrative vaginal sex that are, in fact, sex, and that they should be treated in much the same way.  My thinking here is that kids should be aware that, for example, if someone asks them to do something like that it is still inappropriate, or that it can have consequences for disease as someone else mentioned. 

 

I wouldn't necessarily talk about it very explicitly, but I think it is worthwhile to think about how to communicate the idea and what to say if there are questions.

 

Sex toys - no, that is unnecessary.  And honestly I don't really have any great desire to be the person my kids learn about sex toys from, and I would not have wanted to talk about that with either my parents or teachers.

[Tanaqui]

Note to everybody: If you don't want your kids to know about sex toys from you, be sure you have a very firm NO RUMMAGING IN MY DRAWERS policy and you enforce it strictly.

 

On the plus side, nobody's messed with my drawers since then....

[YsgolYGair]

Goodness me, I didn't learn about those things until I was an adult... I couldn't imagine teaching those things to a child! I remember being mortified about this stuff when my parents explained these things to me when I was like 20! (In their defence I think they were surprised that I hadn't learned about this stuff on my own.) My parents were always very open, but I appreciate that in my younger years they kept things focused on marriage and basic marital relations. 

[Brit29]

 No. I can't imagine a 10 year old needing to know that information. Just because one has started puberty, does not mean they are suddenly mature enough to talk about various sex acts. Now if the topic gets brought up by them, sure. Otherwise I think that's far too young. 

 

I was a fairly sexualized child, not at all modest or sheltered. I think I would have been horrified to learn some of that stuff at age 10. 

[displace]

Note to everybody: If you don't want your kids to know about sex toys from you, be sure you have a very firm NO RUMMAGING IN MY DRAWERS policy and you enforce it strictly.

 

On the plus side, nobody's messed with my drawers since then....

Some dressers/night stands have locking drawers.

[Tanaqui]

And that, my friend, is an EXCELLENT idea.

 

Seriously, though, I think sex toys are some of the healthiest things in a healthy sex life. They do not get you sick. They do not get you pregnant. They are not going to jump out of the drawer and rape you. So even without the, um, discovery we had talked about that in vague terms - people like to have sex because it's fun and not JUST to make babies - most adults think it's fun, anyway, although of course children don't; anything that stimulates those parts of your body is going to be enjoyable (which they already knew, since like half of all children they figured out masturbation during toddlerhood), you don't need another person to do that; if you DO involve another person it IS sex even if it's the type you can't get pregnant by and there IS a risk of disease transmission. (Gee, fun conversations we have, right?)

 

But, you know, I hadn't exactly planned to take out my gear and wave it around like "Hey, this is what I stick up in me when I can't get laid!" Yeah, no. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

[Misha]

I truly appreciate the range of responses! A lot of these are topics I'm not comfortable addressing at their young ages. I will wait until they are older before delving into some of the aforementioned topics. 

 

Any book suggestions for those more mature topics? Are any of Dr. Christiane Northrup's books easy to digest for teens?

[Mimm]

I think kids learn from each other at a much younger age than parents realize. I know that's where I learned what a blow job was. I asked one of my public schooled friends (I was way sheltered) and she told me. We were both repulsed and swore we'd never do such a thing. I don't remember how old we were but not much older than 10.

[MotherGoose]

No way would I talk about anything besides "where babies come from" and puberty, when the changes are imminent, with a child that young. I tell my dd that I will be happy to answer any questions, and I do, in age appropriate language, and I also make sure I answer the question she asked, not what I think she asked, or more than she asked. I'm pregnant now and so she's asked lots of questions, I also tell her that no one besides mama or daddy or the doctor should see or touch your private areas. I think your own moral feelings about things, because you are homeschooling and don't have to teach to the masses, should play into things. So if you think that certain sexual behaviors are immoral, you can keep the talk about the moral ones, at least until they are old enough to question things. You don't have to educate them on all the ways people interact with each other sexually until much later. There are definitely aspects of sex I do not intend to talk to my Dd about. That information is for husbands or friends to teach. My job is to give a moral foundation, and to Make use they know enough to keep them safe. I used to work with victims of sexual abuse, and what they needed to know to protect themselves in the future was appropriate/inappropriate touch, and their right to say no. Of course I had to talk to them about the depraved things people did to them, but trying to further educate them about things people do was not part of it.

[Okra]

I truly appreciate the range of responses! A lot of these are topics I'm not comfortable addressing at their young ages. I will wait until they are older before delving into some of the aforementioned topics. 

 

Any book suggestions for those more mature topics? Are any of Dr. Christiane Northrup's books easy to digest for teens?

 

 

I personally love Cycle Savvy for teens (not great for a ten year old in my opinion).  I know this is about periods + the last third  is about sex (not anything wild and crazy) , but I think it is a really helpful book.  Way more than the basic facts about periods.  But, this may not be exactly what you were looking for.  This can be especially helpful when you have a teen with problems with her periods.

[MotherGoose]

I think kids learn from each other at a much younger age than parents realize. I know that's where I learned what a blow job was. I asked one of my public schooled friends (I was way sheltered) and she told me. We were both repulsed and swore we'd never do such a thing. I don't remember how old we were but not much older than 10.

And I think that learning about thing this way is the way it's supposed to be. I don't think that if your parents had tried to tell you about blow jobs you would not have been very receptive, you probably would have thought they'll were crazy! My goal in sex Ed is to give my girls a information about sex as they need to know. If you are around your children all time and you give them permission to ask you anything at all and tell them they won't be in trouble if they do--you make a concerted effort to keep the same tone in your voice you'd have if they asked you how to complete a math problem, then I hope my children will come and ask me about the blow job. I remember seeing the school movie in 4 th grade. I was horrified and certain I would immediately turn into a woman. I didn't start my period for 5 more years,and it would have been nice to have been sheltered from that knowledge for a couple of more years!

[Luanne]

It is situations like these that make me really think that some people on this board think 10 year olds are adults.  It is too bad that your children aren't allowed to be children because there is so much pressure from you for them to be adults.  They are only children for a few years of their life.  Why do you need to ruin that for them?

[Tanaqui]

I didn't start my period for 5 more years,and it would have been nice to have been sheltered from that knowledge for a couple of more years!

 

On the other hand, what if you'd gotten your period at nine, like a cousin of mine, and been convinced you were dying because nobody had ever spoken to you about it? (And this is why my mother told us EVERYTHING by the time we were, like, five.)

 

It is too bad that your children aren't allowed to be children because there is so much pressure from you for them to be adults.

 

They are allowed to be children. They are children with knowledge.

 

Why do you need to ruin that for them?

 

Why do you need to be like this? Nobody is sitting here attacking you, Luanne, so why do you need to sit here and judge us?

 

My childhood was not "ruined" because I knew about sex when I was small. I was no more harmed by this knowledge than I was by the knowledge of the Civil Rights Movement and the war in the Gulf and Waco.

 

My girls, likewise, do not feel their childhood has been "ruined". They act like children, because they ARE children. They run around, and they goof off, and one of them hardly ever leaves the house without a costume and a wig on, and the other spends an inordinate amount of time designing her dream fairytale palace, and they aren't dwelling on secrets that dirty-minded adults won't let them know.

 

You're making a lot of assumptions based on the fact that some people disagree with you on the subject of sex ed. It's uncalled for, and it's stifling to anything like an open discussion.

[albeto.]

I'll tell you, OP, my kids are older than yours now and we only talked about the physiological aspects of sex ed at this age. I thought, like Luanne, I was helping to preserve their innocence, but in reality I was just putting off an uncomfortable topic just for my sense of comfort. If I were to go back and do it all over again, I would have introduced the more practical and social aspects of sexuality at a younger age. Talking to your 15 dd for the first time about using condoms wasn't any more comfortable for having those extra years. If anything, I think it would be easier as a kid, when this stuff gets filed under "gross anatomy," not under "omg, is she thinking about Jake right now???"

[LMD]

Yeah, no. I haven't discussed those topics with my 10 year old and I can't say I have pressing plans to in the near future. She knows what she needs to know for now and we are open with discussions.

She generally prefers a book she can read in private and talk to me about later, so i appreciate the suggestions too, that cycle savvy sounds great!

 

I don't feel bad or worried about it at all.

[LMD]

" If anything, I think it would be easier as a kid, when this stuff gets filed under "gross anatomy," not under "omg, is she thinking about Jake right now???""

Albeto, you make a good point here! Thanks!

 

(Stupid phone can't quote, sorry!)

[Misha]

It's important to us to raise our daughters into women who are completely autonomous and responsible for their sexual lives. I want them to know, when the time comes, that sex should be pleasurable and not something solely for reproductive purposes.

 

Our morals dictate that all acts between consenting adults in love are not only acceptable but something to be celebrated. 

 

My original question was not asked to suggest that I feel my children are "adults" nor that I intend to "ruin" their childhoods. I appreciate the judgment-free responses received very, very much.

[Tanaqui]

I'll tell you, OP, my kids are older than yours now and we only talked about the physiological aspects of sex ed at this age. I thought, like Luanne, I was helping to preserve their innocence, but in reality, I was just putting off an uncomfortable topic for my sense of comfort. If I were to go back and do it all over again, I would have introduced the more practical and social aspects of sexuality at a younger age. Talking to your 15 dd for the first time about using condoms wasn't any more comfortable for having those extra years. If anything, I think it would be easier as a kid, when this stuff gets filed under "gross anatomy," not under "omg, is she thinking about Jake right now???"

Which reminds me, we've talked about how condoms are important and should be used EVERY TIME (but only one at a time!) but now that older girl is getting older it might be good to have the "here's how" talk. Better to have it well before she becomes sexually active, right? 13% of teenage girls are sexually active by 15, and whatever I might think about that choice, I don't think 15 year olds should be punished for sex by getting sick or pregnant.

 

Of course, I don't really want to do this. I think I'll just chuck a youtube video at her and tell her to watch it (or another one of her choosing) before she has sex with somebody with a penis* for the first time. I happen to favor this video.

 

* Of course, she might not do that. She might end up primarily or solely having sex with a person or people who are female-bodied. And just to circle this back to sex toys, if you share those, you do need to use a condom to prevent the spread of disease, or at the very least wash VERY thoroughly.

[Tanaqui]

She generally prefers a book she can read in private and talk to me about later, so i appreciate the suggestions too, that cycle savvy sounds great!

 

Websites are also good for kids nowadays. I really wish I'd had nearly as much online info as kids do today! Lots of people recommend Scarleteen, though I don't know if it's the best choice for a ten year old. (I really don't know, that's not me being mealymouthed.)

[Misha]

Websites are also good for kids nowadays. I really wish I'd had nearly as much online info as kids do today! Lots of people recommend Scarleteen, though I don't know if it's the best choice for a ten year old. (I really don't know, that's not me being mealymouthed.)

 

 

I'll definitely check it out and bookmark it for future use if we vet it as unnecessary at this point. Thank you! 

[Misha]

* Of course, she might not do that. She might end up primarily or solely having sex with a person or people who are female-bodied. And just to circle this back to sex toys, if you share those, you do need to use a condom to prevent the spread of disease, or at the very least wash VERY thoroughly.

Definitely, to all. 

 

[SKL]

No, I would not teach those to a 10yo.  What I do teach is that private parts include all the parts covered by underwear / bra.  Also, the right to say no to touches include both being touched and being asked to touch.

 

How VD is spread is not specific to genitals.  For example, my kids asked me how AIDS is spread and I told them it is done by sharing bodily fluids.  I don't think I add anything by painting a picture of the many ways bodily fluids might be shared.

 

Re oral and anal sex, is it really an honest concern that school-aged kids might not realize this is sexual touch?  Really?  I'm not buying it.

 

As for sex toys, no, they will learn about those soon enough.  I see no danger in letting them find that out the same way I did.

[Tanaqui]

Re oral and anal sex, is it really an honest concern that school-aged kids might not realize this is sexual touch?  Really?  I'm not buying it.

 

You've clearly never heard one teen telling another that anal/oral "doesn't count" because "it's not really sex", and thus they "don't need to use a condom". Now, I have no problem with young people telling themselves stupid things so they feel better about not being virgins, but I draw the line when they start risking disease.

 

[Farrar]

We're extremely frank and very s*x positive with our kids about these topics. They are also 10 yo right now - almost 11.

 

I have not discussed an*l s*x, but toys came up once... I can't remember if oral ever has though. Nothing detailed, but I just don't shy away from this stuff. If it arises, I answer questions. I think about toys, I said something along the lines of that sometimes some people use things to make s*x more fun, the way that you might use a back massage tool to make a massage better (they've seen one of those little three legged wooden ones before). Or, actually, I'm more proactive than answering questions. If something comes up, generally the kids don't really want to talk about it when they realize something is a "s*x thing." But I usually say something more like, "Hey, it's okay that you're uncomfortable. Everyone is at this age. Just to understand..." and fill in the blank... that different people have different tastes, that s*x can be enjoyable when you get older so one day you will want to think about this stuff and it's okay to ask questions, that because s*x is fun it's not just about making babies and people do all kinds of different things with their bodies. And so forth.

 

I think the Family Library series by Robie Harris is the gold standard in books for this stuff (and that the UU curriculum Our Whole Lives is the gold standard in programs). The one for age 10 and up is It's Perfectly Normal:

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1437879631&sr=8-1&keywords=it%27s+perfectly+normal

[itsheresomewhere]

[quote name="SKL" post="

 

Re oral and anal sex, is it really an honest concern that school-aged kids might not realize this is sexual touch? Really? I'm not buying it.

 

.

 

Work in the healthcare field and your eyes will be open. You will not believe what some come up with/told.

[Tanaqui]

Work in the healthcare field and your eyes will be open. You will not believe what some come up with/told.

 

Ride the bus at 3pm and you'll hear a lot of it. I sometimes wonder if it's rude to turn around and correct some of this misinformation, but I figure that if it IS rude it'll at least teach them to talk more quietly on the bus, even if they utterly tune out the information on sex. (I only correct for genuine health issues - yes, you can get pregnant the first time; yes, you can get pregnant if you do it standing up; yes, that sex act runs a risk of disease if you do it unprotected; dear god, don't stick cocacola up your vagina, it won't help and it'll probably give you a nasty yeast infection.)

[itsheresomewhere]

Ride the bus at 3pm and you'll hear a lot of it. I sometimes wonder if it's rude to turn around and correct some of this misinformation, but I figure that if it IS rude it'll at least teach them to talk more quietly on the bus, even if they utterly tune out the information on sex. (I only correct for genuine health issues - yes, you can get pregnant the first time; yes, you can get pregnant if you do it standing up; yes, that sex act runs a risk of disease if you do it unprotected; dear god, don't stick cocacola up your vagina, it won't help and it'll probably give you a nasty yeast infection.)

My favorite was if you can wear any part of your underwear, then it is not sex. Or the old but good if you drink mountain dew, it makes you not be able to get pregnant.

My DF had this one recently- you can not get pregnant until you have had your period for 3 years.

[Tanaqui]

My DF had this one recently- you can not get pregnant until you have had your period for 3 years.

 

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why some of us do NOT think they should "learn like we* did, from their friends". Their friends are no more likely to have the correct information than they are.

 

* For a given value of "we", obviously "we" did not all learn from our friends.

 

[Tsuga]

On a phone. Did not read other replies.

 

At this age, I would cover it all, but cover most of it lightly except self-awareness like masturbation (it is okay to make yourself feel good, that is a great way to express yourself while you are still developing, before you are ready for a relationship), rights (no means no and how to enforce that) and of course body changes.

 

True, some pre-teens do have sex but they are a small percentage and many of those are at high risk. It doesn't mean that's any more on the mind of the typical 10 year old than it ever was.

 

They need to know the technical details but it is good to let them lead once those details are out of the way. Having a positive, safe website that will come up when searched (bookmark it), and a good book, will be helpful.

[Joanne]

It is situations like these that make me really think that some people on this board think 10 year olds are adults.  It is too bad that your children aren't allowed to be children because there is so much pressure from you for them to be adults.  They are only children for a few years of their life.  Why do you need to ruin that for them?

 

What thread are you reading??? Every post is in support of witholding the information. Did you even READ the thread?

 

So, here you go:

Yes, children need to know that "sex" is more than penis/vagina. They need to know because it PROTECTS them, INFORMS them, and EMPOWERS them to make choices with their body in the years to come. And it accurately educates them that mouth to genitals, or genitals to other places is ALSO SEX.

[itsheresomewhere]

Just another thought- ( incase you haven't thought/talked about this) mention about we need to know our bodies and if something should ever feel different, you can tell me. For example- when washing you notice a bump/lump, etc. Not that they will notice anything but it gives them awareness to their bodies.

[Mimm]

It is situations like these that make me really think that some people on this board think 10 year olds are adults.  It is too bad that your children aren't allowed to be children because there is so much pressure from you for them to be adults.  They are only children for a few years of their life.  Why do you need to ruin that for them?

 

Right, their childhood is totally ruined by having information about sex. :confused1:

[Guest]

Just throwing this out there and maybe I'm a terrible mother--am I the only one who has zero plans of discussing anal sex with her children??

[Tanaqui]

Just throwing this out there and maybe I'm a terrible mother--am I the only one who has zero plans of discussing anal sex with her children??

Not according to the comments. Of course, they divide up in pretty much the expected way, with all expected parties saying what we pretty much expect them to say.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Just throwing this out there and maybe I'm a terrible mother--am I the only one who has zero plans of discussing anal sex with her children??

 

I think it depends on what you mean by "discussing" it.  I could be wrong, but I don't think most who do mention it in go into a lot of detail, but I think there is a place for acknowledging different sex acts and making it clear those are sexual acts that carry various risks.

[Tanaqui]

I think it depends on what you mean by "discussing" it.  I could be wrong, but I don't think most who do mention it in go into a lot of detail, but I think there is a place for acknowledging different sex acts and making it clear those are sexual acts that carry various risks.

 

To give a data point here, I gave exactly the amount of information appropriate for the situation and no more. Not too much detail unprompted, but I do answer questions until they stop asking them OR they get uncomfortably personal (something which is a personal decision, and not something I'd try to delineate for other people).

[Tanaqui]

As for the period, if there's a five year wait then maybe that's too soon, unless the information came before the average age of getting the first one.

 

This was in a classroom setting, where they couldn't exactly separate the girls who had already entered puberty from the ones who hadn't. (Not that this sort of thing is guaranteed - puberty prior to menarche can take about one year, or as many as five or six, says google.)

 

I don't know what year she was born, but I would bet good money that some of her classmates got their period by the end of the fifth grade, and that a good deal more got theirs by the end of the sixth grade. I wouldn't be surprised at all if some got theirs in between seeing the movie and the end of summer vacation that year. And if I had to guess, I'd say the trauma of being told about "becoming a woman" (god, what overwrought terminology) is, for most people, much less than the trauma of bleeding from a very private spot and not having any idea why.

 

There are a few things I feel very strongly about. One is that left handed scissors are god's gift to the human race (or at least the sinister members of it!) Another is that you really ought to have your pet cat or dog altered, especially if they roam outside. And a third is that if you don't tell your female-bodied child about menstruation prior to the time when they are likely to menstruate (so somewhere between 10 and 12 for most of them, with a small but significant percentage menstruating at 9), you are shirking your duty as a parent. It is precisely because so many people don't want to talk about this sort of thing with their kids that the schools end up doing it.

[bettyandbob]

You've clearly never heard one teen telling another that anal/oral "doesn't count" because "it's not really sex", and thus they "don't need to use a condom". Now, I have no problem with young people telling themselves stupid things so they feel better about not being virgins, but I draw the line when they start risking disease.

I had friends who said this exact thing when I was a teen. Learning from eachother does not promote accurate information. It actually compromises safety.