How good are you at following "what to do (or not do)" directions?

[creekland]

You have new technology or something that has to be run or put together.  Do you pull out the instructions first?

 

You see signs telling you to do or not do something (Keep Off the Grass).  What's your thought (whether you act on it or not)?

 

You finish something medical (donating blood or otherwise), do you follow instructions?

 

And how does this fit in with your spouse/partner?

 

This isn't an ALWAYS situation.  This is a GENERALLY situation as we could probably all think of exceptions.

 

 

 

Hubby and I are definitely different.  He grabs the owner's manual or instructions first and/or tries to follow everything to the letter.

 

Me?  Well... I had him stop by Hardee's yesterday to get us burgers and fries because I'd just been told to not eat anything heavy or greasy following carpal tunnel surgery.  It wasn't even on my mind prior to hearing the instructions... and I have Owner's Manuals collecting dust still in their plastic.  I depend upon him if I have questions with technology.

 

We know each other and laugh at each other's quirks.  He's softened up on some things over the years, and I might try to use a little wisdom in what I follow/ignore pending the situation.  But in general...

 

Where do you fit in?

[Carol in Cal.]

It depends on whether the instructions make sense or not. If they are arbitrary, I regard them as evidence of attempted tyranny, LOL, and naturally as an American must oppose that bodily.  But if they make sense, then I follow them to the letter.

 

My spouse simply ignores the whole issue and pretty much does whatever he feels like.  I don't think he even reads instructions, posted or not.  His eyes slide right on past them like mine do past advertisements on facebook.

[Hyacinth]

It depends on whether the instructions make sense or not. If they are arbitrary, I regard them as evidence of attempted tyranny, LOL, and naturally as an American must oppose that bodily.  But if they make sense, then I follow them to the letter.

 

My spouse simply ignores the whole issue and pretty much does whatever he feels like.  I don't think he even reads instructions, posted or not.  His eyes slide right on past them like mine do past advertisements on facebook.

 

Love this!

[lllll]

nm

[SKL]

I answered "it depends," but honestly my answer would be different depending on the type of instruction.  How to assemble a piece of furniture/equipment with a lot of pieces?  I follow the directions.  In the past, I have tried being "creative" about it, usually not with good results.  So I follow.

 

Signs / orders?  It depends on whether they seem to make sense or are arbitrary.  If they are arbitrary, then it depends on whether it's worth the consequences of breaking them.  This, in turn, may depend on how I feel, who is with me, etc.

[creekland]

If they are arbitrary, I regard them as evidence of attempted tyranny, LOL, and naturally as an American must oppose that bodily. 

 

Such as?

 

But the most interesting part is that it seems to have served him well on the academic side.  He's able to think 'out of the box' really well.   

 

Hubby jokingly reminds me that I have control issues - specifically, someone else being in control.   :lol:

 

It's never a problem seeing outside the box, that's for sure, but it's definitely better with some wisdom added (through the years) rather than point blank as it was in my youth.  As a couple, we've tried to adapt some of the better things from each of us.  He still gets all the Owner's Manuals though - and I still offer reminders about when some things really aren't important.

[wendyroo]

It depends on whether the instructions make sense or not. If they are arbitrary, I regard them as evidence of attempted tyranny, LOL, and naturally as an American must oppose that bodily.  But if they make sense, then I follow them to the letter.

 

This is how I operate, but I have to be pretty darn sure instructions are arbitrary (or the only one that will be effected by the consequences if they are not) before I will ignore them.

 

We were recently at the zoo and many people were ignoring a clearly posted sign on the kangaroo enclosure asking people to not throw them any food because they were on a special diet.  I highly doubt random members of the public had enough information to accurately judge whether that directive was arbitrary or not.  I would be furious if someone fed my child something after I specifically told them not to, and I would have fully supported the zoo summarily ejecting any adult seen throwing food into the kangaroo enclosure.

 

DH operates on the "follow all rules, all the time, no matter what" principle.  He can actually be stymied by a bottle of salad dressing that does not specifically tell him whether he is to shake before opening or not.  He thinks I am flirting with disaster when I throw our cotton duvet cover (marked tumble dry medium) in on high...even though I have always dried it on high since I bought it a decade ago and nothing catastrophic has happened yet.   :lol:

 

Wendy

[KrissiK]

Both DH and I follow directions. He is worse than I am. He reads everything through a couple times first and makes sure he has all tools/equipment ready. I follow directions, but I'm usually off hunting for things in the mean time!

[Arcadia]

My hubby is the one who reads instruction manuals and then gets confused by them. I'm too lazy to read unless it is instructions for academic labs or for medication.

DS10 don't usually read instruction manuals either but DS9 does. They will read road signs though and signs that say "wet paint" or "stay off the grass".

[foxbridgeacademy]

I'm not a rule follower by nature but I will if it makes sense or I might get in trouble.  If it's silly or arbitrary I'll probably break the rule on purpose.  DH is even worse about breaking rules/coloring outside the lines but he's cute so he gets away with it.

[Guest]

In our marriage, I am the "Beaver" and DH is the "Otter." I'm going to do whatever it is the Right Way. Dh just makes it up as he goes along. I also call him the "Envelope Pusher," because he always seems to push an edge as far as he can. If there were a park gate that had "Danger: Do Not Enter! High-voltage Systems In Operation!" I would jump in the car and drive fifty miles away. Dh would stand with his toes one inch from the gate and take out his binoculars to try and see what the high-voltage systems were.

 

I LOVE step-by-step, clear instruction...except when something doesn't appear the way the directions say! OH NO!!!! The instructions said there should be an allen wrench included and there isn't one!!! Whatever will we DO!!! :D That's me. dH would be finding a lillipop stick and piece of electrical tape to make an allen wrench.

 

All this sounds very lighthearted, but truthfully, it bugs me a lot now,

 

ETA: removed a bit of over-share. .

[ScoutTN]

I am generally a directions-follower. Dh is generally not.

 

It only bothers me, of course.

 

Unless I point out to him after something doesn't work well, that he didn't follow (or even read?!) the directions. I try not to do this, but oh, it is so hard sometimes! I am such a typical oldest girl sometimes.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I follow directions.  I've found most directions to be simply stating the obvious (like "do not use hair dryer while in the bathtub").   I don't necessarily always pull out the directions for every thing I buy - to keep with the hair dryer example, it's pretty obvious that the directions are going to tell me to plug it in and to then point it at my wet hair.  I've found most medical instructions to be stating the obvious too.  

[ScoutTN]

I LOVE step-by-step, clear instruction...except when something doesn't appear the way the directions say! OH NO!!!! The instructions said there should be an allen wrench included and there isn't one!!! Whatever will we DO!!! :D That's me. dH would be finding a lillipop stick and piece of electrical tape to make an allen wrench.

This is me too. Dh bought me a Piglet beanie baby to remind me of my tendency. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!" I bought him the Eeyore one! ;)

[Farrar]

I swing back and forth. There are many situations where if someone tells me to do it one way, then I have to do it the other way. But when I see a point to them, I generally follow them. I like pretty grass, so I keep off the grass, for example. Most of the time.

[JudoMom]

You have new technology or something that has to be run or put together.  Do you pull out the instructions first?

 

I drive dh nuts because I'm an instruction reader/follower.

 

You see signs telling you to do or not do something (Keep Off the Grass).  What's your thought (whether you act on it or not)?

 

I feel compelled to do whatever I'm not supposed to do, and possibly take a picture of my children doing the same.

 

You finish something medical (donating blood or otherwise), do you follow instructions?

 

It depends.  I follow instructions when I get a liver biopsy, because the consequences might be very bad if I don't.  Lighter things I ignore.

 

And how does this fit in with your spouse/partner?

 

We tend to be kind of opposite.  He rarely reads the instructions, but he worries more about medical stuff.  I tend to be more bull-headed.

 

[creekland]

I'm not a rule follower by nature but I will if it makes sense or I might get in trouble.  If it's silly or arbitrary I'll probably break the rule on purpose.  

 

I was hoping there might be someone else sharing my views!  I thought there might be a few more on a homeschooling board to be honest...

 

In our marriage, I am the "Beaver" and DH is the "Otter." I'm going to do whatever it is the Right Way. Dh just makes it up as he goes along. I also call him the "Envelope Pusher," because he always seems to push an edge as far as he can. If there were a park gate that had "Danger: Do Not Enter! High-voltage Systems In Operation!" I would jump in the car and drive fifty miles away. Dh would stand with his toes one inch from the gate and take out his binoculars to try and see what the high-voltage systems were.

 

Hubby and I swap with the two of you, except he now enjoys being inches from the gate staring in with me.  He's also always been good at MacGyver fixes for anything.  I credit his engineering talent for that.  I also credit his engineering talent for his attention to detail with directions.  Pros and cons.

 

Unless I point out to him after something doesn't work well, that he didn't follow (or even read?!) the directions. I try not to do this, but oh, it is so hard sometimes! I am such a typical oldest girl sometimes.

 

Hubby does this to me all the time, but it's part of our joking around regarding our different personalities.  Had I gotten sick last night (I didn't), he'd have been reminding me that it was my choice.  It's all in fun and I do occasionally learn from my mistakes just as he has learned he can stand close to the fence and look in - or throw a schedule out the window and do as we please.  

 

Seriously, the very first trip we planned to make together when we were dating, he came to me with an itinerary planned to the minute.  :toetap05:  I took it, saw what it was, and crumpled it up + threw it away without reading the whole thing and told him there was no way I was traveling with him if this was the way he was going to be.  He's enjoyed traveling at "our" pace ever since and laughs at himself for the way he was now.

[Ausmumof3]

I'm a rule follower and manual reader. DHs primary school teacher told him... "You don't break the rules you just bend them" and not much has changed.

 

Although I find instruction manuals less and less useful as more of them are written by people who obviously don't have English as their first language.

[Lizzie in Ma]

It depends on whether the instructions make sense or not. If they are arbitrary, I regard them as evidence of attempted tyranny, LOL, and naturally as an American must oppose that bodily. 

 

 

:iagree:

[Word Nerd]

One of my projects is to download and sort entries for a photo contest. On a daily basis I roll my eyes at all the submissions I get from people who ignored or refused to read the rules.

 

Whatever! I'll do what I want! I don't need to follow the rules.

Great. You just wasted your time and mine, as all your entries are getting disqualified.

[creekland]

One of my projects is to download and sort entries for a photo contest. On a daily basis I roll my eyes at all the submissions I get from people who ignored or refused to read the rules.

 

Whatever! I'll do what I want! I don't need to follow the rules.

Great. You just wasted your time and mine, as all your entries are getting disqualified.

 

Well, that's a little bit different (maybe) in that what you are talking about is something voluntary and an entry deal.  It is rather surprising that folks don't pay more attention to details at that point.  It'd be interesting to talk with them and find out why to be honest.

 

Earlier (last summer I think) middle son (my brain and cognitive major) had me read this book:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Scientifically-Proven-Ways-Persuasive/dp/1416576142

 

Since then, he and I have had discussions about some of its points and how people naturally react one way or the other based upon certain things they see/read or certain pre-dispositions.  His research this summer is with kids and how they perceive things at a young (pre-school) age, so it's come up again.

 

We Skyped with him on Sunday when he gave us more details - and it got my brain wandering (well beyond our discussion) as to the Hive and our personalities w/homeschooling and similar.

[The Girls' Mom]

I follow directions/orders if they make sense.  If I don't see the point, then I do my own thing.  

 

Dh, however, is a "save the instructions for when everything else fails" kind of guy.  Generally I find this more amusing than annoying.  He's very mechanically minded, so this works for him more often than not.

 

I DO get annoyed when he blows off doctor's instructions.  He NEVER follows them.  Like an above post, I think he thinks it is a form of tyranny.  It makes me have little sympathy when recovery doesn't go as planned/expected.  (And he's been through a lot of surgery and medical treatment).  I would hate to be his doctor.

[creekland]

I follow directions/orders if they make sense.  If I don't see the point, then I do my own thing.  

 

i think this is actually a pretty good summary of my thoughts as well - even for medical stuff.

 

There's no way I'd be tossing random food into the kangaroo pen (mentioned above) even without a sign.  There's no way I'd be littering or not reading directions to submit a contest entry, etc.  Those all make sense.

 

But when it comes to new "toys" coming into the house, experimenting is more fun than reading the directions.  With some medical stuff - like dinner the other day - I know what my body is feeling and is generally capable of and if I'm wrong it's not a big deal, but I'm also not out with the ponies getting the surgical site dirty from the barnyard and seeing if I can play with fate in a really dumb way - no warning needed to be honest (other than maybe a good timeline for when things are ok).

 

When coloring, there's no real need to abide by someone else's lines just because they are there.

 

Part of the book suggests (and backs up with research) that people can be MORE prone to "going bad" with signs and instruction than without.  Wording is incredibly important when using signs or forms.

[Hyacinth]

Real-life example

 

Sign on the movie theater door: Please do not bring food or drinks into the theater. Okay. I get that. They want me to pay (their disgustingly inflated prices) for a bottle of water. But when I get to the counter, I am told that they are out of bottled water. At this point, do I ignore the sign and grab my water from the car? Yes. Yes I do.

 

 

 

 

[creekland]

Real-life example

 

Sign on the movie theater door: Please do not bring food or drinks into the theater. Okay. I get that. They want me to pay (their disgustingly inflated prices) for a bottle of water. But when I get to the counter, I am told that they are out of bottled water. At this point, do I ignore the sign and grab my water from the car? Yes. Yes I do.

 

I'm thinking they really shouldn't enforce their rule if they are out of something as simple as bottled water... If I worked there I'd be telling people they could bring their own in until we got more in.

 

But maybe that's just me...

[Momling]

I'm a direction-follower unless I know how to do it. Like... I don't follow a recipe for something I already know how to make. I don't think I'm particularly rigid -- I happily change the ingredients when I cook. Or change the pattern when I sew. But when I assemble IKEA furniture, it's a step by step process for me because I don't know intuitively how it's supposed to go.

My wife, on the other hand, just doesn't believe in instructions. Or rules. She just does her own thing. Annoyingly, it typically works fine. In a way though, we're kind of a power couple. She uses her common sense, and I research directions and reviews.

[creekland]

I'm a direction-follower unless I know how to do it. Like... I don't follow a recipe for something I already know how to make. I don't think I'm particularly rigid -- I happily change the ingredients when I cook. Or change the pattern when I sew. But when I assemble IKEA furniture, it's a step by step process for me because I don't know intuitively how it's supposed to go.

My wife, on the other hand, just doesn't believe in instructions. Or rules. She just does her own thing. Annoyingly, it typically works fine. In a way though, we're kind of a power couple. She uses her common sense, and I research directions and reviews.

 

Your family sounds quite a bit like us.  ;)

 

I suspect it annoys my hubby at times when it typically works out fine for me too.

 

Together we make a great team.  Part of the key is letting each of us handle the aspects requiring our expertise in knowledge and way of doing things.

[IsabelC]

My principle is that if there is a rule, it should be followed, unless there is a good reason not to follow it. Obviously everybody has their own idea of what constitutes a good reason.

Hubby and I are both more scrupulous about some things than other things. The only problem is that we aren't more scrupulous about the same things. So sometimes I bug him and sometimes he bugs me. But it's not a serious issue.

[creekland]

 Obviously everybody has their own idea of what constitutes a good reason.

 

I think this is the key - one has to "buy in" with the reasoning.

 

At school my whole focus is getting kids to buy in to my reasoning.  That goes with behavior in general, doing assignments, and changing how they live based upon what they learn (like caring for our planet).  I never expect auto-compliance because I know that doesn't work for me.  There are always good, solid reasons and with those good solid reasons, I almost never have problems in any of my classes - no discipline referrals necessary.  (Exceptions can happen when kids are using drugs...)

 

eg  For the taking care of our planet my reason is usually quite simple.  I want to breathe clean air.  I want to drink clean water. I want to see actual nature - not trash.  Kids can relate to that pretty easily.  It makes sense to them.  It works.  Telling them to pick up their trash or not dump chemicals down the storm drain or not burn plastics all because there are "rules" about that, doesn't work nearly as well.  It has to be personal.  If I have time I go more in depth with the personal aspect too - follow that chemical trail, etc.

[creekland]

My FIL gave me a  great IRL example this morning of why solid reasoning is good.

 

We're at their vacation cottage as I type.  It's waterfront on a tidal (aka salt) river and when one visits, it's expected that one enjoys the water.  It's always been that way.

 

Last Monday I had carpal tunnel surgery which requires not getting that hand wet for a week+.  I know this (and why) and don't have a problem with it.  If I had a problem with it, I would have changed the date of the surgery!  However, FIL looked at me this morning and said, "Well, there's what you shouldn't do, then there's what you can't do.  Salt water won't hurt anything at all.  It'll kill anything that could get in there."

 

The first part of his statement fits my beliefs to a T.   :coolgleamA:   The second part regarding salt water in a river, he's completely wrong about.  I know this, so I'll firmly decline water sports, etc this time in spite of his disdain.  If he had been the one with surgery, someone had better have given him more solid reasons than just "don't do it" or it'd have meant nothing.  (All I got was a "do/don't do" list that I briefly scanned.  My knowledge regarding salt water comes from elsewhere.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have diabetes.  My doctor gives bad advice on how to handle it sometimes because I don't think they are trained well enough on diet.  But I've done my own research as well as experiments on how my body reacts to carbs.  So I do follow directions - the ones that will best help me - while ignoring the directions that would hurt me.   The thing is, the goal of both the good and bad advice is actually the same - to keep my bloodsugars in as normal a range as possible.  I just make sure I reach that goal.