Ignore this thread!

[Ellie]

Came home from another round of OT testing, cried into my bowl of ice-cream, and am regrouping for the afternoon.

 

:grouphug:

[Renai]

I still have not caught up. Reminder to self that I am on page 792, post #39576. 

[Southern Ivy]

Ok, so help me think through something.
(You will find that I make a decision, then I over think and second guess myself ALL.THE.TIME! So, here's hoping I don't annoy you all too much in the next year and a half. ;) )

I wrote this in a Dave Ramsey FB group I'm in, but I love and trust my ITT ladies. :) 
 

"Just a "what would you do" question. Hope that is ok.

DH and I will be debt free Sept 2017 (or maybe sooner). Currently, the plan is for me to stay home and homeschool our daughter after we're debt free - something I've wanted for the last 5 years. But, I have been going back and forth about staying home vs continuing to work. I can't make a decision. 

We would like another baby, but if I were to continue to work, childcare would be very difficult to secure in this town. There is little to no childcare around here. We could very likely find someone, but it's not always easy. (Of course, we've also planned on moving to a much larger area, so that might not be an issue.)

If I were to continue working (even for just 3 more years), we would be able to fund our 3-6 month emergency fund and quickly save for a down payment on a house. If I didn't work, that would cut our income by about $40K, so Baby Step 3 and 6 would be much slower going. 
(BUT, my teaching job does not "spark joy" right now. I dread it most days. It's been 4 years of a pretty bad situation. It's turning around, but I feel like I'm just too burned out to continue even 1 more year, much less 3! I know things can change, but right now, that's where I am.)

So, with all that rambling background - 
What would you do? Would you stay home since you've been working towards that for the last 5 years? Would you suck it up and work a bit longer so that you can meet those goals more quickly?

I know there are are a lot of variables and things can change in 18 months. But, what would your decision be?" 

So, ITT friends, what would you do in that situation? (And if you'd rather PM me, that's fine.) 

 

Edited March 3, 2016 by Southern Ivy

[prairiewindmomma]

Mary, if you were 25, I'd say work the time period and be in a better position financially.  As you are not 25, and you definitely want another baby, I would say have that baby now. You are staring into that sub fertility curve. Take up tutoring or something else that can fill in a piece of that income loss--but if you can find a way to stay home feasibly, do it.

 

ETA: Barton tutors make about $1/minute--same as music instructors--and even in rural piddly towns there's usually a demand. You might just have to barter a bit more.

 

 

ETAx2: if the numbers were really tight, I'd be aiming to get pregnant at the end of this summer. I'd start the prenatal, dental work, etc. now and try to aim things so that baby would come and be covered under the school's insurance, and you wouldn't have to return to work based on your medical leave. Have the baby--get maternity leave--and then don't go back.

Edited March 3, 2016 by kbeal

[Southern Ivy]

Mary, if you were 25, I'd say work the time period and be in a better position financially.  As you are not 25, and you definitely want another baby, I would say have that baby now. You are staring into that sub fertility curve. Take up tutoring or something else that can fill in a piece of that income loss--but if you can find a way to stay home feasibly, do it.

 

ETA: Barton tutors make about $1/minute--same as music instructors--and even in rural piddly towns there's usually a demand. You might just have to barter a bit more.

We would still have (or try to have) another baby, but I'd just work. 

I'll look at Barton tutors. :) 

[prairiewindmomma]

https://bartonreading.com/price/

[Southern Ivy]

I guess I find myself feeling selfish because it means DH has to work longer and we won't get through our Dave Ramsey steps as quickly as DH would probably like. (BTW: He is completely fine with whatever I decide to do. He's not in any way saying to keep working. He's also not saying to quit working. It's up to me, basically, which is hard with such a big decision.)

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Mary, my answer is always based on what is best for the child(ren) involved.  And I can't answer that for you. 

[Critterfixer]

 

What would you do? Would you stay home since you've been working towards that for the last 5 years? Would you suck it up and work a bit longer so that you can meet those goals more quickly?

 

Only if I could suck it up and work a bit longer doing something I loved doing. I can usually find a way to get past unpleasant aspects of things that I love. Money don't buy me love, so I've got to have something better than financial compensation to keep me going. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am super duper sleepy.  But I have to leave in 5 minutes because teens take up an enormous amount of time.  People told me that was the case but I didn't totally believe them. 

[Openhearted]

:grouphug: Mary.

 

I am bad with financial advice, or any advice for that matter.;)

 

I have always told my husband, that you must be happy in your job/career. I know this is not always the case, some times will be better than others. However,if you hate or even dislike your work, other areas of your life WILL be affected: marriage, parenting, general self happiness, etc.

 

So, if this makes sense, ask yourself: what will make ME happy? Then talk with your dh, and make a plan together. This is not your sole decision to make since you have a husband/family to help you with the decision-making.

 

 

Feel free to disregard, if not helpful.;) I do wish you the best of luck.

[Another Lynn]

Mary,

I think you're great for staying in a difficult job this long.  I like the idea of combining pregnancy with one extra year of working (rather than 3 more), and then leaving after the maternity leave is up.  But honestly, I have a hard time sticking with a job I don't like.  And though it is very considerate of your dh to leave it up to you, I know that's hard in a way too.  :grouphug:

[JoJosMom]

I left a job that was 2/3 of our income to stay home with DD.  As you might expect, I am pretty firmly in the "mom-at-home" camp.  Given the strength of my bias, I don't think I'm really one to ask for advice.

[texasmama]

I might work one more year while pg, as mentioned. Your dd is already used to you working at this point. You could quit when new baby came along.

 

I've worked full time, part time and not at all with my 1-4 kids. Full time was hard. It was much harder on my kids to go full time when they were used to me at home. When my kids got older, it was easier to work part time. I feel like I am currently too busy and tired (and older) to work.

[ikslo]

Came home from another round of OT testing, cried into my bowl of ice-cream, and am regrouping for the afternoon.

:grouphug:

Edited March 3, 2016 by ikslo

[texasmama]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  Prairie

[Southern Ivy]

Came home from another round of OT testing, cried into my bowl of ice-cream, and am regrouping for the afternoon.

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Slache]

I'm back from the doctor and learned nothing. You're welcome. The C-section will be around June 13th as my due date is the 20th and I've gained 2 pounds more than what is considered ideal so all is well. A few updates...

 

1. I ordered and received FIAR, DEL, Kitchen Table Math, and these which I've wanted for a while but was waiting for free shipping.

 

2. SIL is going to be a regular on Bill Cunningham's Stooge Report (this is a big deal).

 

3. My mother is moving locally in a few weeks. I'm panicked but not crying. I'm glad I told her I'm pregnant!

 

4. I did the booby measure thing and got a new bra. LOVE IT! Highly recommend. Apparently I'm a C and I never would have believed it. NEVER.

 

5. Mary's birthday.

 

 

Mary, I'm biased and unapologetic. Stay home. You will never get this back. We are poor and we struggle but I wouldn't change it for the world. We are Dave fans and we live like no one else but my kids have healthy food and a mommy at home. All else is negotiable.

 

 

I haven't read everything. Or anything before this page. Did I miss anything important?

[Openhearted]

Hi, slache. I'm glad everyone is well. :wub:

[Renai]

We missed you!!!!

 

 

Really? Me han ganas a creerte.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Am I being unreasonable here?  Dd was babysitting today for the same family that I asked about before (the dad made me wait while he jumped in the shower because dd was still there to watch the baby).  Today, dd was told that she was done, so she texted me to pick her up.  I came and texted that I was in the car outside.  They made me sit out in the car for 30 minutes before releasing dd because they wanted to get "one more thing" done while dd was still there.  They did pay dd for that time.  But I am mad because I feel like there is no regard for me waiting in the car.  It's not like I"m being paid for 30 minutes of waiting!  I told dd that if she wants to babysit for them again that she needs to get dh to take her and pick her up.  Because of dh's schedule this effectively means that she cannot babysit for them unless it is a weekend.  Dd is furious at me.  I briefly thought up going up to the house and knocking on the door and telling them that I wanted dd to come NOW but I knew that dd would feel humiliated if I did that so I waited for her.  Then set the boundary. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Jean, no you are not being unreasonable. Why did dd not advocate for herself the first time? Part of working is handling difficult conversations appropriately.

[prairiewindmomma]

Dh gets home from a weeklong trip in a couple of hours!  Hurray!

[Susan in TN]

Slacheypoo!

 

Thank you for the updates and pictures of your cutie pie. Love you!

[ikslo]

Am I being unreasonable here? Dd was babysitting today for the same family that I asked about before (the dad made me wait while he jumped in the shower because dd was still there to watch the baby). Today, dd was told that she was done, so she texted me to pick her up. I came and texted that I was in the car outside. They made me sit out in the car for 30 minutes before releasing dd because they wanted to get "one more thing" done while dd was still there. They did pay dd for that time. But I am mad because I feel like there is no regard for me waiting in the car. It's not like I"m being paid for 30 minutes of waiting! I told dd that if she wants to babysit for them again that she needs to get dh to take her and pick her up. Because of dh's schedule this effectively means that she cannot babysit for them unless it is a weekend. Dd is furious at me. I briefly thought up going up to the house and knocking on the door and telling them that I wanted dd to come NOW but I knew that dd would feel humiliated if I did that so I waited for her. Then set the boundary.

They are rude.

[Tsuga]

I put this topic over on the accelerated learner board.  I'm looking for math ideas for dd5.  (She is almost finished first grade math.   :hurray:  :svengo: )  If anyone has suggestions, please hop over and let me know!

 

Can I post here? My experience is so totally asynchronous and off the wall that I usually get ignored on accelerated / special needs.

 

Both my girls finished K math within weeks. Actually they never really did K / 1st math for any period of time. It's really just counting. Very intuitive. The only time I had to ask them to do anything other than math facts for speed was for 2nd grade. So, I don't know if that's your daughter's "condition", but what we did was just basically race through Evan Moore K, Evan Moore 1st, then Singapore 1A and 1B, and then Singapore 2A and 2B over the summer. Now she is doing Evan Moore 2nd, but her school supplements with up to 3rd grade math. I believe Singapore was a great foundation. Then we went to BA with DD1 in 3rd but we're still slogging through... perfect squares, not for the non-spatial thinker!

 

Place value is the key issue for 1st and 2nd, as are artificial systems like analog clocks, English vs. metric measurements. The latter trip my kids up. And they tripped me up, too. I would let those go for an early learner and move her through the arithmetic. I swear you could learn clocks in a single day in 4th grade but doing it in 1st or 2nd feels like torture.

 

Fractions, on the other hand, and decimals, multiplication, matrices, arrays, etc. both my kids responded really well.

[Tsuga]

Am I being unreasonable here?  Dd was babysitting today for the same family that I asked about before (the dad made me wait while he jumped in the shower because dd was still there to watch the baby).  Today, dd was told that she was done, so she texted me to pick her up.  I came and texted that I was in the car outside.  They made me sit out in the car for 30 minutes before releasing dd because they wanted to get "one more thing" done while dd was still there.  They did pay dd for that time.  But I am mad because I feel like there is no regard for me waiting in the car.  It's not like I"m being paid for 30 minutes of waiting!  I told dd that if she wants to babysit for them again that she needs to get dh to take her and pick her up.  Because of dh's schedule this effectively means that she cannot babysit for them unless it is a weekend.  Dd is furious at me.  I briefly thought up going up to the house and knocking on the door and telling them that I wanted dd to come NOW but I knew that dd would feel humiliated if I did that so I waited for her.  Then set the boundary. 

 

That was extremely rude of them.

 

Is this that, they say they will be done at a certain time, but then they are not? Can your daughter call when she's done? Not that I'd be tempted to sit for them again, but recommendations are so important.

[prairiewindmomma]

I let oldest zoom up through singapore math, completing as able.  I'd throw in some beast academy as well just to keep feeding her brain.  Ds finally plateaued a bit and has resumed a fairly normal pace for math consumption.  If you get up through 6b, then I'd start looking at the AoPS stuff.  And, if she gets through that, you should go talk to lewelma. ;)

 

ETA: if cost is an issue, the singapore math primary series can be purchased without the IG and you're just fine---textbook and workbook are adequate, and finances are really tight---some of my kids have just gotten the workbook after I've introduced the topic. ;)

 

You might also look at the education unboxed videos, at the dream box app (on sale currently $50 for the year on that homeschoolbuy board, and at some of the games on the Ronit Bird website. Obviously your dd isn't dyscalcic, but the games are really fun and a good way to build number sense. It'd be easy to tag a sibling to play with her for 10-15 minutes a day.

 

Edited March 4, 2016 by kbeal

[texasmama]

I ordered overpriced, fancy bball socks for my boys to take to Nationals. I paid extra for fast shipping. I never do anything remotely extravagant like this. They are tracked "out for delivery" since yesterday morning by USPS. Now I fear they are lost. Sigh.

[Tsuga]

I let oldest zoom up through singapore math, completing as able.  I'd throw in some beast academy as well just to keep feeding her brain.  Ds finally plateaued a bit and has resumed a fairly normal pace for math consumption.  If you get up through 6b, then I'd start looking at the AoPS stuff.  And, if she gets through that, you should go talk to lewelma. ;)

 

ETA: if cost is an issue, the singapore math primary series can be purchased without the IG and you're just fine---textbook and workbook are adequate, and finances are really tight---some of my kids have just gotten the workbook after I've introduced the topic. ;)

 

You might also look at the education unboxed videos, at the dream box app (on sale currently $50 for the year on that homeschoolbuy board, and at some of the games on the Ronit Bird website. Obviously your dd isn't dyscalcic, but the games are really fun and a good way to build number sense. It'd be easy to tag a sibling to play with her for 10-15 minutes a day.

 

I didn't buy textbooks for Singapore. Just the workbooks.

 

I cheat. I did feel we needed them for BA.

[Junie]

Can I post here? My experience is so totally asynchronous and off the wall that I usually get ignored on accelerated / special needs.

 

Both my girls finished K math within weeks. Actually they never really did K / 1st math for any period of time. It's really just counting. Very intuitive. The only time I had to ask them to do anything other than math facts for speed was for 2nd grade. So, I don't know if that's your daughter's "condition", but what we did was just basically race through Evan Moore K, Evan Moore 1st, then Singapore 1A and 1B, and then Singapore 2A and 2B over the summer. Now she is doing Evan Moore 2nd, but her school supplements with up to 3rd grade math. I believe Singapore was a great foundation. Then we went to BA with DD1 in 3rd but we're still slogging through... perfect squares, not for the non-spatial thinker!

 

Place value is the key issue for 1st and 2nd, as are artificial systems like analog clocks, English vs. metric measurements. The latter trip my kids up. And they tripped me up, too. I would let those go for an early learner and move her through the arithmetic. I swear you could learn clocks in a single day in 4th grade but doing it in 1st or 2nd feels like torture.

 

Fractions, on the other hand, and decimals, multiplication, matrices, arrays, etc. both my kids responded really well.

 

Thank you.  I am looking at Singapore along with the Abeka we are already using.  I am intrigued by Beast Academy, but I know she isn't ready for that yet.  Ds15 is a visual-spatial learner and I think he would have loved it.  I'm actually thinking about buying it so that he can read through it.  I think that he might actually benefit from the different approach to math.

 

Dd5 is already adding two-digit numbers (and will be doing three digits soon).  And she loves carrying.  She thinks it's fun.   :001_rolleyes:  She can measure inches and centimeters with minimal help.  She has not learned how to subtract with borrowing yet.  She tells time to the nearest 5 minutes and she can count money.  (She still has trouble with quarters.)  She also does well with greater than/less than.

 

She has a great love of math which I want to encourage.  I just don't want to lose my sanity in the process.  :)

 

And yes, without going into details, she is very asynchronous.

[Junie]

I let oldest zoom up through singapore math, completing as able.  I'd throw in some beast academy as well just to keep feeding her brain.  Ds finally plateaued a bit and has resumed a fairly normal pace for math consumption.  If you get up through 6b, then I'd start looking at the AoPS stuff.  And, if she gets through that, you should go talk to lewelma. ;)

 

ETA: if cost is an issue, the singapore math primary series can be purchased without the IG and you're just fine---textbook and workbook are adequate, and finances are really tight---some of my kids have just gotten the workbook after I've introduced the topic. ;)

 

You might also look at the education unboxed videos, at the dream box app (on sale currently $50 for the year on that homeschoolbuy board, and at some of the games on the Ronit Bird website. Obviously your dd isn't dyscalcic, but the games are really fun and a good way to build number sense. It'd be easy to tag a sibling to play with her for 10-15 minutes a day.

 

I've never heard of some of these things, but I'm too tired to look them up tonight.  Thanks for the recommendations.

[Junie]

I didn't buy textbooks for Singapore. Just the workbooks.

 

I cheat. I did feel we needed them for BA.

 

I've been thinking about buying just the comic book part of Beast Academy for my older dc to read through.  Do you think that they might benefit from that, even if they don't do the work?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Jean, no you are not being unreasonable. Why did dd not advocate for herself the first time? Part of working is handling difficult conversations appropriately.

My opinion is that dd was rude too.  She didn't mind waiting so she didn't advocate for herself (or me).  She did advocate for herself and said "no" when the very same dad asked her to hold the baby at the Y the other day because he came without checking on the childcare times.  (I got a bit hot under the collar when I heard about that too!)

 

They are rude.

I know, right?

 

That was extremely rude of them.

 

Is this that, they say they will be done at a certain time, but then they are not? Can your daughter call when she's done? Not that I'd be tempted to sit for them again, but recommendations are so important.

They told her that she was done.  She called me.  It takes me ten minutes to get there.  In those ten minutes they decided that they weren't done after-all. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh and dd does not need recommendations from these people.  She has babysitting gigs coming out her ears. 

[Tsuga]

Thank you.  I am looking at Singapore along with the Abeka we are already using.  I am intrigued by Beast Academy, but I know she isn't ready for that yet.  Ds15 is a visual-spatial learner and I think he would have loved it.  I'm actually thinking about buying it so that he can read through it.  I think that he might actually benefit from the different approach to math.

 

Dd5 is already adding two-digit numbers (and will be doing three digits soon).  And she loves carrying.  She thinks it's fun.   :001_rolleyes:  She can measure inches and centimeters with minimal help.  She has not learned how to subtract with borrowing yet.  She tells time to the nearest 5 minutes and she can count money.  (She still has trouble with quarters.)  She also does well with greater than/less than.

 

She has a great love of math which I want to encourage.  I just don't want to lose my sanity in the process.   :)

 

And yes, without going into details, she is very asynchronous.

 

If she's got the artificial systems, she will probably easily get through first in another five weeks.

 

2nd grade, with fractions and the emphasis on real world stuff, I think took both my kids longer. But if your daughter likes it, she might not hit a wall until algebra, or possibly ever. Long division, maybe. But for mathy kids, long division is just fun, the magic algorithm.

 

I would not do BA until you have a clear foundation in all addition and subtraction and multi-digit addition and subtraction, as you have said.

 

But definitely it can be done in 1st or 2nd. I think the six year old will be able to start it this summer.

[Tsuga]

 

 

They told her that she was done.  She called me.  It takes me ten minutes to get there.  In those ten minutes they decided that they weren't done after-all. 

 

Uh, in that case RUDE. Rude to ask.

 

However, she should develop the skills to say, "Thank you for the extra time, but my ride is here. I need to leave. I appreciate the offer though." And then give them the invoice.

 

That is not to suggest it is her fault that they asked. They should know better. I've asked. However, I have been told no and accepted it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

With every other family that she's sat for, once they are home from wherever they went, the job was over.  At times things will go longer than they expected.  They will call her and let her know and she will text me to let me know.  Neither of us have any trouble with that.  Once they get home, I either go get dd or she gets home on her own if it is within walking distance.  No one has ever had me wait once I show up to pick dd up. 

 

This family is different.  They come home and instead of taking over the watching of their kid, they will expect dd to still watch the child if they feel like it inconveniences them in any way to watch him.  So dd has had a habit of asking them to let her know when they want her to be done before texting me to come get her, because it isn't clear like it is with other families.  But again, if they decide on the spur of the moment that it is more convenient for dd to stay longer, then we have a scenario like tonight.  I was sucking it up because they are in the process of moving far enough away so that dd won't be able to babysit for them.  But as of tonight, I'm not sucking it up anymore. 

 

 

[Another Lynn]

Good Morning ITTers!  It's Friday!

 

:seeya:   Hi Slache!  Nice to see you.

 

Renai - really.  But I don't know what you said. ETA:  Now I do.  I googled it.  OF COURSE REALLY!

 

Prairie - :grouphug:   Hope things look brighter today.

 

Junie - yay for your mathy dd.  That's great!

 

Jean - booh on adults who don't act like adults.  :thumbdown:   Yay for teaching dd boundaries!

 

Tex - Hoping the awesome socks arrive before you depart!  :toetap05:

 

 

Edited March 4, 2016 by Another Lynn

[Openhearted]

Good morning!

 

Dd16 is sick. She has a fever of 102F. The ps had called earlier this week and said the flu was going around. She is staying home today, but she is so worried about getting behind. I will call the school this morning.

 

I have a bit of running errands to do this morning, too. I wish I could get out of it and stay home with her, but I can't.

 

Hope you all have a good day. If you all have any flu advice please send it my way.

Edited March 4, 2016 by Openhearted

[ikslo]

Good morning!

 

Dd16 is sick. She has a fever of 102F. The ps had called earlier this week and said the flu was going around. She is staying home today, but she is so worried about getting behind. I will call the school this morning.

 

I have a bit of running errands to do this morning, too. I wish I could get out of it and stay home with her, but I can't.

 

Hope you all have a good day. If you all have any flu advice please send it my way.

(((Dawn's dd)))

[Ellie]

Came home from another round of OT testing, cried into my bowl of ice-cream, and am regrouping for the afternoon.

 

:grouphug:

[Ellie]

 

Dd16 is sick. She has a fever of 102F. The ps had called earlier this week and said the flu was going around. She is staying home today, but she is so worried about getting behind. I will call the school this morning.

 

I have a bit of running errands to do this morning, too. I wish I could get out of it and stay home with her, but I can't.

 

Hope you all have a good day. If you all have any flu advice please send it my way.

 

Poor baby!!! She needs the bunnies...

 

 

 

 

Hope she feels better soon, bless her heart.

[lots of little ducklings]

Happy Friday, ITT!!!  

 

 

(I missed you.)

 

(I have a lot of ketchupping.)

[texasmama]

I wouldn't suck it, either, Jean.  Those people are inconsiderate.

 

(((Dawn's dd)))

 

I got a text from the USPS saying that my socks were back at the post office that they were "out for delivery" from on Wednesday.  May they arrive today.  

 

Today, as all days, is busy.

 

 

*obligatory educational post of the day

 

Neither of my mathy kids liked long division.  They both struggled mightily with it.

Edited May 24, 2016 by texasmama

[Jean in Newcastle]

I woke up at 5 am.  Then I fell back asleep and dreamt about Aunt Bob and two of her sisters. 

[Renai]

I'm calling for you out the front door because I know you're out there somewhere. And it's time for dinner.

 

Oh, good. Because we're hungry and dinner isn't planned.

 

Shucks. I fell asleep before I sent this last night. :(

 

 

 

ETA: Here's a glad-this-isn't-the-skunk-post BOOYA!

Edited March 4, 2016 by Renai

[Renai]

Good morning, all! It's Thursday! Nothing like waking up in the middle of the night to the pungent smell of fresh skunk! I accidentally left a window open and at 3:25am the smell was so bad it woke me up.

 

That happened to me the other morning. The first thought I had was, "gosh, I hope that isn't me..."

[Jean in Newcastle]

I just wanted to say that typing all that out about the bad babysitting couple helped clarify for me why I have a problem with this couple and no one else.  ITT therapy! 

[Renai]

Thanks, Renai!  I forgot to find it.

 

 

 

Sorry, Susan.

 

 

It's what I do.

 

Cute dog.