Meadowlark Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 So, we belong to a large Catholic Church. We know many families, are very involved and very happy there. When talking to a friend I grew up with a few weeks ago, she mentioned her husband was a den leader for her 2nd grader with our church's pack. I had been intrigued by scouts because my husband was a scout and has referred to different scouting things in the past. I was also a Girl Scout. Good memories. I spoke with him after mass and it was a nice, informative discussion. He told me what the den meetings were like and what we could expect from joining. So...fast forward to today. We joined, enrolled a wolf and tiger cub. We paid the fee, got the whole uniform, sold the popcorn, etc. It has been nothing short of a nightmare. There is no communication. I have practically had to beg for people to email me, call me, give me information, get the handbook, registration papers, etc. This is from the pack master on down. The very first den meeting was canceled, but nobody told us. We showed up with 2 excited boys only to find a locked building. So first there's that....grrr. The next weekend they excitedly went out and sold all the popcorn they could. They were so proud and excited to wear their uniforms. So far, we've attended 1 pack meeting and 2 den meetings. The horror begins! Imagine total chaos, no behavior expectations, and 10 2nd graders running around like animals the entire time. I'm not trying to have a holier than though attitude, BUT....my son was literally the only kid listening to the leader, no running around, and with a shred of respect. It was appalling. My husband went last week and told me how horrified he was of the whole experience. He wondered why in the world I even signed them up, spent the money, etc. Then when I went tonight, I truly saw what he was talking about and literally almost had to walk away in order not to lose it. I asked the leader if he wanted me to help with crowd control and he said " I actually think they're doing pretty good". Well, okay. Obviously our expectations for appropriate behavior are very different. His own son was the biggest instigator. Then, I got an email from my other sons leader informing me that the den meetings would be switched from Monday to another night, I specifically asked BEFORE signing up what nights the meetings were, and thought it was manageable because both kids would go on the same night. Now we're going to be there 5x a month! And what if they pick Tuesday, the only night we can't do it? So, what would you do? If we quit, we're out the money and the kids would be devastated. If we stay, I may end up in the crazy ward if I have to watch this craziness 5x a month. Oh, and...most importantly, the other parents sat in the back of the gym talking, on their phones, while their little hellions were running around. If the parents don't care, doesn't that take away the den leaders power? It's a sad situation...an organization that could be so wonderful. So, do I suck it up and just help as much as we can? Advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Oh my. That does sound like a complete nightmare! Our Unit is NOT like that! It sounds like they really don't think it needs to get better, and in that case, I would be seeking out another pack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I'd be tempted to suggest Tuesday night as the new meeting night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Did your boys enjoy their meetings? Did they complain about anything that bothered you? If not, maybe just let 'em run around (while you wait outside so you stay sane.) :laugh: You already paid, so think of it as a play group? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 Did your boys enjoy their meetings? Did they complain about anything that bothered you? If not, maybe just let 'em run around (while you wait outside so you stay sane.) :laugh: You already paid, so think of it as a play group? Well, my older son just kept looking at me when the other kids acted up. He definitely knew it was not okay, and was watching to see my reaction. We had a discussion about the whole night, and he said he did have fun but that the other kids acted "crazy". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Cub Packs are all different and it's *very* dependent on the leadership. If this Pack is not a good fit for you, you can transfer to another pack very easily. You will still use the same book and uniform. Maybe it would be worth trying a few others and see which one is the best fit for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Isn't it a play group? Or at least something recreational in intent? What is it that you think they should be doing other than running around, using loud voices and having a good time? Perhaps it's an expectation mis-match.., is it a nightmare to you whenever 10 2nd graders play together -- like, on a playground? Is it because they are indoors? What, specifically is bothering you? Why are the other parents staying at the meetings? What makes you want to stay? Is it a parent-child activity -- they seem old for that, but it's possible, I guess. Did anyone tell you that the parental expectations are? (probably not, I guess since there isn't much communication in the first place.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I have BTDT. Sometimes the kids have been in school then daycare, with no opportunity to burn off steam. I understand it, but it's not what we needed, KWIM? Shop around. Find another troop/den, even if you have to drive a bit. It will be well worth it. Scouts can be a great activity, but troops vary dramatically. It's worth it to find a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 Isn't it a play group? Or at least something recreational in intent? What is it that you think they should be doing other than running around, using loud voices and having a good time? Perhaps it's an expectation mis-match.., is it a nightmare to you whenever 10 2nd graders play together -- like, on a playground? Is it because they are indoors? What, specifically is bothering you? Why are the other parents staying at the meetings? What makes you want to stay? Is it a parent-child activity -- they seem old for that, but it's possible, I guess. Did anyone tell you that the parental expectations are? (probably not, I guess since there isn't much communication in the first place.) Okay, good questions. So no, it definitely is not a playgroup. Are you familiar with scouts at all? I have limited knowledge, but there is a handbook and they work towards badges and things like that. Their is a specific purpose to the meeting, To clarify, the kids were loud, not following directions and otherwise obnoxious almost the whole time. So that means when the den leader was giving instructions, when they were putting up the flag, when they were talking about the scout motto. No. It would absolutely not bother me if they were outside yelling their little hearts out. They're boys, I get that. But when an adult is speaking in a "meeting" type environment with a specific purpose in mind, I expect my kids to have their mouths shut, body still, and eyes on the adult. Period. Out of the 10 kids, 8 stayed. I have no idea why. I assume because they want to. When they're a Wolf (2nd grade) they no longer have to, but they did have to last year. No, no parent communication or expectations set at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Cubs can be rather wild. It's kinda funny, though, because when they cross over to scouts, they all-of-a-sudden grow up and seem so mature. In cubs, generally parents are supposed to hang around and help. Our Pack had a policy of no drop-offs (don't know if that is national), and parents were often called on to help with something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 I have BTDT. Sometimes the kids have been in school then daycare, with no opportunity to burn off steam. I understand it, but it's not what we needed, KWIM? Shop around. Find another troop/den, even if you have to drive a bit. It will be well worth it. Scouts can be a great activity, but troops vary dramatically. It's worth it to find a good one. This thought honestly never occurred to me. I don't know of any other reputable pack, but I'm going to seriously consider this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Welcome to why we quickly dropped Cub Scouts. Utter chaos. I have one with noise issues and he was in fetal position with his fingers in his ears each meeting. As to the person that asked what we would expect from a meeting up thread, I except for the boys to sit down and listen to what the leader is talking about and to learn scouting stuff. I had issues with signing them up to start with, and once we were in, I couldn't wait to get out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 This thought honestly never occurred to me. I don't know of any other reputable pack, but I'm going to seriously consider this. We found another pack, with leaders who were more skilled at corralling the kiddos and keeping them busy with interesting stuff to do. The chaotic pack leaders meant well - men who themselves had been scouts and wanted to give back - but they just didn't have the skills to keep the kids occupied and somewhat calm. The new pack was recommended by friends in the next town over - a little bit more of a drive, but so, so worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannon in TN Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Ours started off like this, and the only reason I stuck with it was because my son had already made friends and really looked forward to the meetings. (Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, he was one of the rowdy ones that just fed off the other rowdy ones and I had to stay on top of his behavior the.entire.time). Now it still is chaotic, but it's what I like to call controlled chaos. What happened is that the parents who complained about the chaos (and there were several of us) stepped up as leaders in some way to help. Our single den of 12 first graders (talk about chaos!!) was split by mid-second grade into two dens. Two of the dads who were frustrated decided to step up and be a leader for their sons' den. Our den kept the original leaders. I decided to step up and help with behind-the-scenes stuff and try to keep communications going, emails out, things like that. I'm also in charge of popcorn sales. Our pack leaders are so enthusiastic for the boys and their activities, but bless them, they are not that organized. One kept her calendar on a folded sheet of paper with notes scribbled all over, at one point. We're now into our third year and while it's not perfect, it's a lot more fun. The parents get along, the boys are (slightly) more mature and (slightly) better behaved, and the pack leader has improved her organization skills. This is just my personal experience. Maybe if you talked to the other parents, you might find some of a like mind as yours and maybe there's some willingness to step up and help contain the chaos? Maybe the den of 10 boys is only that big because no other parents wanted to step up and be leaders? Maybe they didn't know they could be? Maybe the current leader has an ego that won't allow him to ask for help but would welcome it anyway? I hate that it's frustrating for you and I hope you find a solution that works for you and your boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Please feel free to find another pack that's a better fit for you. We have a local pack that's only two miles from us, it would have been ideal! However, we had the same problem as you, we simply could not get anyone to respond to calls, emails, FB IM requests, etc. Finally we threw our hands up in the air and I put the question out on my local HS board asking if someone could recommend a good, homeschool friendly pack. We're traveling to the other side of town, it's a bit of a hike, but the pack has seemed great so far! DH got roped into being a den leader and is really enjoying it. He said it did get a little rowdy AFTER the meeting when the parents were chatting and the boys started running around, but that was after the lesson. Look around, see if you can find a better fit. It would be a shame to miss out on something that has the potential to be so fun just because of one out of control group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 You can surely "visit" other dens before you make any decisions. I'm sorry to hear about the lack if communication. I can empathize! It was a revelation to me recently to come to understand that some people join but don't really participate in much. There is no problem with that, but that is not how I do things, so my ds accomplishes a lot at home, and the meetings are more for fun - although the behavior you describe would not be acceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Well, my older son just kept looking at me when the other kids acted up. He definitely knew it was not okay, and was watching to see my reaction. We had a discussion about the whole night, and he said he did have fun but that the other kids acted "crazy". Hmmm. Well, first, Kudos to your son! Now I'd be worried that the crazy behavior would be a bad influence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 o_O Unless they're offering the leader seat and you're willing to take that mess over, I'd start pack shopping now. There are more packs out there, and it only costs a dollar per boy to transfer registration. If you paid dues in advance make sure you get them back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 You mentioned this was your church..do you know the other parents in the den? If so, get them together and find out the consensus on behavior. You may find several are ready to leave, in which case,, just split off and form your own den. In the meantime, go to leader training so you know what the BSA expects of the adults. Buy the Cub Scout Leaders Handbook..read it and your boys handbooks. Ask the den ldr if he is trained. Yes, I know 75 % of the other parents, which almost makes it more awkward. One mom introduced herself to me and the first thing she said was "Can you believe these kids?" So we chatted for a few minutes about what we could do to help the den leader out. That's when he said the behavior was pretty good. THE craziest kid is the son of a girl I've known since I was a kid. She was one that didn't stay. His behavior was unbelievable. So...when she showed up, I asked her how we might join together to help manage the kids. This is what she said... (And she was laughing almost the whole time for some very odd reason) " Well, they're cooped up in school the whole day, I feel bad for them when it's too controlled". So yeah, got nowhere there. And since the other parents were talking in the back of the gym and saw absolutely no problem with their own kids behavior...I assume it's acceptable to them. One mom (a sheriff even! ) heard her son's name several times, and she would look up, then go back to her phone. The only thing about finding another pack is that some bridges could be burned here, ya know? Of course I care about my kids more than my reputation,mbutmits something to consider. Also, I don't know of another pack that would be good. Heck, I was told this one was good. I don't know if I should stick the year out or not....in the meantime I'll ask around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 You could find another pack in the area; there is usually more than one in a given area if you are near a city. If that's not possible, it might be that there are not enough leaders to do everything that needs getting done, and volunteering to be a den leader or help with pack leadership may be effective in helping the organization. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue daisy Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I would look for another pack as well. That is not what scouting is supposed to look like. One of the things they are supposed to be working of is being respectful. At least your kids realized the other boys were behaving inappropriately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skirch Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 This sounds exactly like our experience with scouting and the lack of communication was ridiculous. I complained to the main office and was moved to a different troop which was only slightly better. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth and we haven't looked back. Shame too, as dh and I were both active in scouting and have great memories of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 If the den leader and the other parents are OK with them running around, then I'd be OK with it too. If I couldn't manage to ignore it, I'd probably go take a walk or something. It is not a problem IMO for 2nd grade boys (or girls) to run around and make noise in a recreational activity. It would be a problem if my kids were among the only ones acting that way, or if they were instigating it against the wishes of the leader. My kids just started a scouting activity this year. The semi-randomness of the scheduling is a challenge for sure. But I think everyone has the same issue, and they don't expect 100% participation. Perhaps there is another troop nearby that would be more in line with your expectations of scouting for 2nd graders. If this is really unacceptable to you, you might as well drop it rather than feel bad about it every week. Maybe take your younger son out and put him back in at an older age when the activities seem more worthwhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I won't ever forget our first night of Cub Scouts. I was aghast. It wasn't even chaos. It was hell. I couldn't stand the boys running around. The loud noise was deafening. And yes, they felt it was going well. We stuck it out and DS had a blast. It wasn't at all like at home lol. Dh got involved as well. He actually sat with the boys for the award nights....to keep them quiet. No other parent or leader would bother. but Dh felt like if he sat there and reminded them how to behave they could do it. And they did. I honestly found Boy Scouts to be just as crazy. They run around until the meeting. Then they do their stuff, then go run around again outside. It's an outlet for boys to be crazy with other boys. I think knowing that helps offset your brain's reaction to it all. We teach boys to be proper but they don't get to just be like that often. I made dh take ds. We have moved to Trail Life scouting and it's the same before and after meetings.....loud and crazy. but I see Ds loves it. He lives for the free time with the other boys. As for communication....it's up to that person and how they do the job. Do they have an online troop site for checking things? Who is emailing? Do they need help? Offer to help. Usually not enough people helping in that area. If they don't have online site....tell them about troop track or other options to use. Worth having!!! But seriously, if you can't get info, get involved. Ask to be the one to email. Or call parents. They don't turn down help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I'd expect noise and large motor activity with cubs, but not a chaotic free-for-all. I found it easier to control 10 Daisy Girl Scouts than 5 cubs. Groups of boys are just different. In your case, I'd give it a month, then look into another group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 In my kids' scouting troop, they always schedule some time for running around. But it isn't all running around. Even girls as young as 5 are expected to be still for some of the activities. But again, if the leader considers running around to be fine and dandy, the kids aren't going to think any different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Oh, and honestly, I'd rather have the girls running around than singing "Let it Go" for the 100000000th time! :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 What happened is that the parents who complained about the chaos (and there were several of us) stepped up as leaders in some way to help. Our single den of 12 first graders (talk about chaos!!) was split by mid-second grade into two dens. Two of the dads who were frustrated decided to step up and be a leader for their sons' den. Our den kept the original leaders. I decided to step up and help with behind-the-scenes stuff and try to keep communications going, emails out, things like that. I'm also in charge of popcorn sales. This. In my experience, ALL kid activities are only as good as the leaders, and if you want it done right, you have to volunteer to be the leader. I have, therefore, been a Girl Scout Leader, Cub Scout leader, age group swim coach, high school swim coach, and Civil Air Patrol Senior member. When I was a den leader, I had boys in my den that were coming from all day at school, then religious class till five...they had a quick bite to eat but with only an hour break they were not ready to do much as a group quietly. What I did was have them do physical things in the first fifteen minutes of the meeting...basically all of the sports activities for the rank badge and for various belt loops, and relay games for learning things like the Law of the Pack. They could all focus then, but I also borrowed from the Scoutmaster and didn't seat them for anything. We'd stand on one foot while saying the Promise etc etc. I also borrowed a drama teacher and taught them to project their voices. I found the den meeting went well if there was a plan, and if the plan followed the bsa recommended plan in terms of game time, changing pace, and flexibility and using the denner jobs. Excellent tactics! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I had a similar experience. I could not stand the unruly behavior, although the men who were the leaders did not seem to mind. If dh could have taken them every week, they would probably still be participating. But he has an ever-changing work schedule so I ended up having to take them often. I could not take it and felt they were in enough things already so we dropped out after one year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 If the den leader and the other parents are OK with them running around, then I'd be OK with it too. If I couldn't manage to ignore it, I'd probably go take a walk or something. It is not a problem IMO for 2nd grade boys (or girls) to run around and make noise in a recreational activity. It would be a problem if my kids were among the only ones acting that way, or if they were instigating it against the wishes of the leader. My kids just started a scouting activity this year. The semi-randomness of the scheduling is a challenge for sure. But I think everyone has the same issue, and they don't expect 100% participation. Perhaps there is another troop nearby that would be more in line with your expectations of scouting for 2nd graders. If this is really unacceptable to you, you might as well drop it rather than feel bad about it every week. Maybe take your younger son out and put him back in at an older age when the activities seem more worthwhile. From what I can tell it WAS against the wishes of the leader, although he refused my help. He gave several of the kids short timeouts, as in 20 seconds. This happened continuously. So I got the feeling he thought the behavior crossed the line too. I get the feeling he does not have the skill set to handle the kids...at least with the parents nearby doing nothing. I'm not even sure I would be comfortable in that situation. But, I will sure try to be as helpful as possible ( with whatever pack we end up with). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I would switch packs to find one that was better organized. Scouts is only as good as the leadership. If they are not willing to be leaders and put forth effective strategies to make it a positive learning experience for everyone, then I would look elsewhere. Boys can be active. But, they can also pay attention and learn something if they are appropriately engaged and have clear expectations. Dens of cub scouts should be small enough so that the boys can learn appropriate skills. Pack meetings should have an expected order. I can see chaos until the meeting is called to order, but then they should all know their appropriate role. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAmomof4 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I have had this experience MANY times over, like with every activity I've ever tried to enroll my kids in... Honestly it's the disorganization that bothers me most, because as a newcomer you really have no idea what's going on, and no one bothers to tell you... and then YOU end up looking like the idiot when you don't bring something to the next meeting, or whatever. I had the same thing happen, where we were told ahead of time that scout meetings were going to be Wed. nights, so we literally scheduled our entire semester around that. My husband is coach to the girls' soccer teams, and he picked Tues/Thurs nights for practice so that it wouldn't interfere with scouting, even though Tues/Thurs was more inconvenient for his work schedule. Then the first scout meeting, they tell us that it's going to be Wed during the day now. In the middle of the school day (they're all homeschoolers), so with our current schooling schedule, it means we will basically be losing that day for school. Ok, great. Oh and by the way, twice a month they're also supposed to do activities on Saturdays too (which we cannot attend b/c of DDs' soccer games). But I have paid for the year, and bought the stupid uniforms, and I am determined to stick out the year and see if it is worth it. If not, I'm running for the hills! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Good advice given, which I shall not replicate. Just want to support what has been suggested. (I do, though, think that bailing out of this bedlam and finding a well-managed group is best.) Absolutely does not resemble my sons' experiences at the younger ages of Boy Scouts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caribbean Queen Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 The only thing about finding another pack is that some bridges could be burned here, ya know? Of course I care about my kids more than my reputation,mbutmits something to consider. No need to tell people the real reason you switched packs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plateau Mama Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 The lack of communication would be more of an issue for me than the boys being wild. I find that pack meetings parents just assume a leader will discipline their child. I have no problem sending a boy ( or 5 ) to sit with their parent. I usually start with boys from my den(s) because the boys know me and when they see me coming they straighten up. To some extent when you get that many boys there will be chaos. Plain and simple. As for the size of the den. If the leader is experienced 10 is ok. But if no, then it should be split. With my older boy we always had between 9-11 boys. This was the 3rd boy my co leader had led. He had led up to 15 boys. So 11 wasn't a big deal to him. Every boy we had got their arrow of light and every boy went on to be a Boy Scout. Right now my son's tiger den has 13 but my DH and his co leader aren't going to split it up. (I did convince him having meetings at our house wasn't a good idea.). But both leaders are Eagle Scouts and my husband has worked with young kids for 20 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Just an aside - at that age, I've been told not to interfere on discipline when the kids are in an extracurricular class. It undermines the leader's authority. The leader can always decide to kick the kid out for a while if they absolutely won't take his direction. There are many times I've felt tempted to go give my kid what-for, but ultimately discipline is better if I let the coach / leader do his thing. I've also seen a couple of parents who couldn't hold back and went and disciplined their kid in the group, and that just never ends well. So that is probably why most of the parents are not getting involved unless they are asked. They are available and I'd assume they'd step up if asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 (edited) On 10/7/2014 at 7:07 AM, Meadowlark said: Edited September 17, 2023 by SilverMoon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted October 8, 2014 Author Share Posted October 8, 2014 Just an aside - at that age, I've been told not to interfere on discipline when the kids are in an extracurricular class. It undermines the leader's authority. The leader can always decide to kick the kid out for a while if they absolutely won't take his direction. There are many times I've felt tempted to go give my kid what-for, but ultimately discipline is better if I let the coach / leader do his thing. I've also seen a couple of parents who couldn't hold back and went and disciplined their kid in the group, and that just never ends well. So that is probably why most of the parents are not getting involved unless they are asked. They are available and I'd assume they'd step up if asked. I've been thinking about this all morning. I do understand what you're saying, but I disagree a bit. First, I'm trying to imagine myself as the den leader in this situation. If I was in charge of these ten scouts, and the behavior was this implorable...I think I would expect parents to step in BEFORE things got out of control. Now, as a parent, I wouldn't step in right away, or even for a little thing. I would try to let the leader handle things to the best of their ability. But, if I heard my kids name 4-5 times, I would assume the leader needed a little help with my child. And, if I'm sitting there on my phone or chatting with the other parents, then why shouldn't I step in and discipline my child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted October 8, 2014 Author Share Posted October 8, 2014 The more I think about it, this could easily be solved with a little communication. As in, "This is what I'll do if your child is not cooperating" and " This is what I want you, the parent, to do if your child is not cooperating". The second is a little more a matter of opinion, but at least a plan would be in place. I just have a problem with an adult being so disrespected and the parents sitting there doing nothing about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plateau Mama Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Just an aside - at that age, I've been told not to interfere on discipline when the kids are in an extracurricular class. It undermines the leader's authority. The leader can always decide to kick the kid out for a while if they absolutely won't take his direction. I have to disagree here. Cub Scouts the parent (Akela) is always the ultimate authority. They are the ones who are supposed to decide if a scout has done there best. Cub scouts is for the scout and parent to do together. Parents are supposed to be involved. Now, when they get to Boy Scouts, I agree, the leader is in charge and if I don't like how it's done I keep my mouth shut or offer to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.