Generalized menopause anxiety thread: ask a question, get an honest answer

[Alte Veste Academy]

Regarding hot flashes, I have this PSA:

 

"You can get warmer! Put on a blanket or a sweater. I can NOT get cooler! So, yes, the AC has to be turned to such a low temp and YES, the fan needs to be on!"

 

That is all.

 

Amen.

 

I didn't respond to this thread because I had anxiety about a repeat pap until yesterday afternoon, when I was told that it was completely normal despite the idiotic staff calling me in for a follow-up about it and haltingly refusing to give me any hint as to why...and this was my third in a row, with some fun extras, so I was beyond nervous. Well they can just eat snot....

 

Might not be over that yet, as it turns out. :lol:

 

Anyway, that list of 34 symptoms made me cry. It also made me remember when my mom came to my college graduation and was sweating nonstop for the entire trip. She was sweating and glaring and snapping. Only now, 20 years later, do I understand. Because I am sweaty and glaring and snapping. I am hot, people. Put on a gosh darn long sleeve shirt if you are so freezing!

 

Whoever posted that message board post to husbands, you get the gold star for giving me a good cathartic cry. Of course, I read it when I was almost certain I was going to imminently die of cancer (thanks office staff and anxiety!!), but still, it was very validating.

 

I "like" this thread. I do not like perimenopause. At all. It blows wind.

[Angie in VA]

Anyway, that list of 34 symptoms made me cry. It also made me remember when my mom came to my college graduation and was sweating nonstop for the entire trip. She was sweating and glaring and snapping. Only now, 20 years later, do I understand. Because I am sweaty and glaring and snapping. I am hot, people. Put on a gosh darn long sleeve shirt if you are so freezing!

 

Whoever posted that message board post to husbands, you get the gold star for giving me a good cathartic cry. Of course, I read it when I was almost certain I was going to imminently die of cancer (thanks office staff and anxiety!!), but still, it was very validating.

 

 

:grouphug:

 

Grrrr at that doc's office! 

[Guest]

I'm rereading Germaine Greer right now (unpopular opinion, I know):

 

http://www.amazon.com/The-Change-Women-Aging-Menopause/dp/0449908534/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406061316&sr=8-1&keywords=the+Change+Germaine+Greer

 

which is giving me a better idea of what my poor Gran went through. My mother may be useless for advice and information and she may have issues that make it a good thing that there's a continent between her and ds, but I also have an overwhelming urge to just tell her I love her.

 

When she was my age, I laughed at her for screaming, "You never care about anything but your own pleasure!" just because I went to go pee without telling her first while we were getting gas, but now I get it.

 

If anyone wants to borrow my Susun Weed, PM me. It's a good book and it helped me a lot a few years ago and I'll probably want to reread it when you're done, but I'm not feeling very receptive to anything that's going to make me snark about how we wouldn't tell a diabetic that insulin has side effects so they should see if Celestial Seasonings makes an herb tea that helps or how we wouldn't tell a cancer patient to try harder to think about their big toe when the urge to complain about the growing mass in their breast becomes overwhelming.

 

tbh, my insurance/doctor situation is so messed up and such a work in progress that the whole HRT situation may be purely academic to me, but I know most of you are in a better place that way than I am so I really wanted to pound it in that the homebirthing crunchy chick says it's okay and you're not crazy and you don't have to live this way. I've gone from WTM to a library card and love in less than a year. No biggie for a first grader, but not good if you've got teens and it's completely unnecessary.

[Joanne]

Thank you for this thread.

 

I read the "34 Symptoms" link. I have 31. The problem clinically is that some of them are ambiguous and explainable due to the trauma of my accident (anxiety, joint, dizzy).

It was interesting to read that the increased allergy issues might be related.

 

I spend many days on the verge of a migraine; that predates the accident, so I think it is allergy related, which now I think may be perimenopause related.

 

I am 48. I have had one "hot flash" (very recently). I do have the other nighttime issues from the 34 list.

 

My actual period is an unpredictable nightmare. I should track it, but I do know it is not regularly spaced anymore. And when it does come, I have 1.5 days of so heavy that I always wonder if I should go to the ER. Crazy heavy; hemorrhage level bleeding.

 

Seeing a Dr is not an option at the moment.

 

[Wheres Toto]

I appreciate the list as well but do wonder about some.  I've had ringing in my ears for a few months now.  Blamed it on allergies but interesting that it could be a peri symptom.   I wonder how you tell the difference or if it's even possible?

 

[Tiramisu]

Okay, how does L-Theanine both make you more alert and focused but also aid in sleep?  :confused1:  

 

I have trouble sleeping... I cannot take caffeine after about 2pm.  I'm sleepy, but my body will not settle down and my restless leg goes into overdrive - even though I still take my magnesium and valerian/hops/evening primrose combo before bed. 

 

Also...has anyone used the progesterone cream you can buy in the store - like from Pro-Gest?

 

I haven't checked the other replies yet, but L-theanine affects brain waves to enhance a calm but alert state. I saw a line of drinks in Target with L-theanine in them. I think they included drinks for both focus and relaxation.

 

I was told by someone working in a health food store that Dr. Oz recommended L-theanine for sleeping and a lot of people purchased it for that reason, but later some of those people came back complaining of weird dreams while taking it. I also did not have a great experience taking it for sleep--seeing colors flashing when my eyes closed--but it happened to be a night when I was unusually stressed. I did not have that experience during the day. I think it made me calm.

 

I remember hearing it was good for people who fell asleep easily but did not stay stay asleep. 

[Tammyla]

Wow, I just spent the last hour reading this thread. 

[Myeightkiddies]

Last night I had to go to the store and buy some more dishes.  Why?  Because I took a small pot and hammered some that were in the sink earlier that day.  It really wasn't any big deal.  I just wanted all the dishes that were around the counter put into the sink.  I was upset that my foot hurt, and I couldn't get a load of laundry running.  Seeing the dishes on the counter and island just before I was suppose to make dinner just set me off.  Those dishes exist no more.

 

I know that it is menopause that is doing it (aka PMS on steroids).  I've been feeling the symptoms all week.  Just more anxious and stressed than normal.  It's really frustrating.  I know it is going on, but I can't stop from reacting even though I try. Happy, Happy, Happy, BOOM!  That was my day.  Then comes the crying and apologizing to any poor soul who watched me lose it.  LOL  Ugh!

 

 

[brookspr]

I love reading all of the posts, it certainly makes me feel like I'm not going crazy! I will be 45 this year and have definitely seen anxiety increase in the last couple of years, especially when things like lumpy breasts, underarm pain that comes and goes with my cycle, mid-cycle spitting and the discovery of uterine cysts have all occurred over the last year or so. I feel like there is always something going haywire and it freaks me out, what will I be like when menopause actually starts !?! At the same time my daughter will be homeschooling high school part time and my son will be working his way thru middle school at home. Oh boy!!!

[PrincessMommy]

Last night I had to go to the store and buy some more dishes.  Why?  Because I took a small pot and hammered some that were in the sink earlier that day.  It really wasn't any big deal.  I just wanted all the dishes that were around the counter put into the sink.  I was upset that my foot hurt, and I couldn't get a load of laundry running.  Seeing the dishes on the counter and island just before I was suppose to make dinner just set me off.  Those dishes exist no more.

 

I know that it is menopause that is doing it (aka PMS on steroids).  I've been feeling the symptoms all week.  Just more anxious and stressed than normal.  It's really frustrating.  I know it is going on, but I can't stop from reacting even though I try. Happy, Happy, Happy, BOOM!  That was my day.  Then comes the crying and apologizing to any poor soul who watched me lose it.  LOL  Ugh!

 

:grouphug:

[PrincessMommy]

Okay, so I'm going out on a limb to share my anxiety filled experience.  Mainly to share something that isn't related to our spouses that also invokes irrational emotions or actions too (at least for me).

 

So my son came home from camp today.  Friends, who were on vacation in OH, picked up their dd at the same camp (in PA) and they offered to pick our guy up too.  They just left about 15min. ago.  I'm a puddle of anxiety.   My thoughts are going something like this:   "Should I have invited them in??? Should I have invited them for a pit stop???  Offered them  something to drink??? Should I stopped and chatted at the van a little longer with them??  I should have listened closer when their dd was telling me about camp!!  I'm a terrible person.. I'm an awful friend.  I'm such a miserable failure."

 

they've just been on the road for nearly 6-8hrs total (OH-Camp-to home).  Wife is in a wheelchair and getting her out of the van is not easy.  They're probably tired and just want to be at their own home.   I'm mean, I should just get over myself already, but instead I'm a nearly a puddle of tears!!!  I might even have trouble sleeping tonight.  Sheesh.    What happened to the old, rational & laid-back me???

 

[Scarlett]

Okay, so I'm going out on a limb to share my anxiety filled experience. Mainly to share something that isn't related to our spouses that also invokes irrational emotions or actions too (at least for me).

 

So my son came home from camp today. Friends, who were on vacation in OH, picked up their dd at the same camp (in PA) and they offered to pick our guy up too. They just left about 15min. ago. I'm a puddle of anxiety. My thoughts are going something like this: "Should I have invited them in??? Should I have invited them for a pit stop??? Offered them something to drink??? Should I stopped and chatted at the van a little longer with them?? I should have listened closer when their dd was telling me about camp!! I'm a terrible person.. I'm an awful friend. I'm such a miserable failure."

 

they've just been on the road for nearly 6-8hrs total (OH-Camp-to home). Wife is in a wheelchair and getting her out of the van is not easy. They're probably tired and just want to be at their own home. I'm mean, I should just get over myself already, but instead I'm a nearly a puddle of tears!!! I might even have trouble sleeping tonight. Sheesh. What happened to the old, rational & laid-back me???

:( you poor thing. It is hard to stop those thoughts.

[MarinesWife]

I have 20 of 34.

 

And I'm on the pill so no crazy periods but I have noticed all these other things gradually changing in the past 2 years.

 

After reading this thread I am afraid to go off the pill. I had crazy periods before. My mom did too and ended up with a hysterectomy around my age because of the months of bleeding and getting so weak.

[Murphy101]

I don't think the issue is that it's so "hush-hush" on purpose. I just think we have a generation (or two?) of women who didn't experience natural menopause, so they don't have much to say about it.

.

This.

 

I have absolutely not one single female relative who had natural menopause. None. My mother and both sisters had complete hysterectomies in their late 20s or early 30s. My aunts all did pretty much the same thing. The few who "made it" to natural menopause were strongly urged back then to just get a hysterectomy and take HRT if they were done having kids rather than drag out the natural phase. That was a very common low income response for that generation.

 

Same goes for my dh's side of the family, not that I can imagine such a personal convo with them anyways.

 

So here I am, clueless as always left to learn as I go and just hope I survive it.

 

Rather sucks.

[Murphy101]

Deleted

:)

[Guest]

It's getting bad enough that I'm wondering if another pregnancy would be better than this. Anyone who knows my pregnancy history knows that's not good

That's for true.

 

I agreed a couple of weeks ago that tonight I would go to church to do take-down from a wedding. Now I have this Ultra-PMS and I think I'd rather have a root canal than drive up there tonight and be nice to people.

 

That sounds really bad, but it's true. I should stop for chocolate on the way.

[DawnM]

I did not have kids until my early 30s!  Wow, I wouldn't have had any pregnancies.

 

What do you mean low income response?  I am surprised that surgery would be the solution for lower income.

 

Dawn

 

 

This.

I have absolutely not one single female relative who had natural menopause. None. My mother and both sisters had complete hysterectomies in their late 20s or early 30s. My aunts all did pretty much the same thing. The few who "made it" to natural menopause were strongly urged back then to just get a hysterectomy and take HRT if they were done having kids rather than drag out the natural phase. That was a very common low income response for that generation.

Same goes for my dh's side of the family, not that I can imagine such a personal convo with them anyways.

So here I am, clueless as always left to learn as I go and just hope I survive it.

Rather sucks.

 

[Murphy101]

I did not have kids until my early 30s! Wow, I wouldn't have had any pregnancies.

 

What do you mean low income response? I am surprised that surgery would be the solution for lower income.

 

Dawn

No but low income often precludes getting second opinions or being able to seek better drs. Also keep in mind, my sisters are much older than me. I am a great, great aunt by age 41.

 

I remember my mother saying her dr told her all women should have complete hysterectomies by age 35 bc they wouldn't have kids after then anyways and it would keep them from going insane and causing their husbands to leave them. :o

 

I'm not saying their surgeries weren't necessary. They might have been. I don't know. And it might be a chicken egg thing too. Did they need the surgeries bc of lack of medical care to fix things before it got that bad or couldn't afford more expensive options that would have put off surgery? Again, idk.

 

ETA:

Surgery wasn't always the mind boggling terrifying expense it is today. My dad said he paid $250 for my moms hysterectomy and they removed her gallbladder while they were at it without charging extra. LOL It took him 6 months to pay the debt off.

[Serenade]

ETA:

Surgery wasn't always the mind boggling terrifying expense it is today. My dad said he paid $250 for my moms hysterectomy and they removed her gallbladder while they were at it without charging extra. LOL It took him 6 months to pay the debt off.

This made me chuckle. I've seen some old hospital bills, and they were a pittance, too.

[Murphy101]

This made me chuckle. I've seen some old hospital bills, and they were a pittance, too.

I know. To be fair, to them at the time, $250 was a LOT of money. He took a third job to pay for it. But the point is, he could pay it and it was a reasonable amount. They were just crazy dirt poor.

[Joyofsixreboot]

So now I'm wondering if I am having strange, atypical symptoms. I have taken up exercise for a couple years, started caring what I look like and have been really interested in sex. A lot. Maybe out of whack hormones? It would be just like me to be at the weird end of the bell curve. I put all that down to finally having no toddlers after 20 years but maybe it's hormones and will crash. This thread is getting bookmarked.

[LisaKinVA]

Sooo...how many of you felt like you needed to stock up on pregnancy tests?

 

I'm 45, have an IUD.  The odds of getting pregnant are .5% of 1%.  

 

My mom didn't really go through menopause until she was in her mid-50's.  It was 10 years of he!! for her :(

 

My cycles changed upon the insertion of my IUD 5 years ago.  They are heavier (to me, they are really heavy -- but compared to what I've read here...most of you would consider my "heavy" your "normal."  Prior to getting pregnant the 6th time when I was 39, my cycles were 28 days long, with bleeding for 5, one day was fairly heavy...other days, not much to worry about.  Since the IUD, my cycles are more like 2 days of sputtering,4 days of heavier flow and 1 day of sputtering at the end.  The time between my cycles has gone down from 28 days to more like 21-24 days.  I have had night sweats for years (usually when pregnant), and other than that, I have wretched PMS (which I never had before).

 

A little over a month ago, I started consuming about 1/4 c. of virgin coconut oil a day.  My first cycle while on the CO was more like my regular "normal."   My libido was very high (dh did not complain), and my moods were much more even (no blowing my top...which usually happens about 1-2 times right before my cycle would start).  I felt much more "me."  During this time, my stress levels also decreased (because my frantic fundraising push was over).  I got a lot of rest, and just felt pretty good.  The week before my cycle, I started craving carbs (bread...some sweets...chocolate). I knew my cycle would be starting any day.  Friday came...and I saw a spot when wiping.  Went to Rome,  had another light spot after lunch, got home and purchased 3 packages of pads (because I'm out of everything but liners...).  Anyhow, Saturday there was nothing.  A bit disjointed I went downstairs to make eggs for breakfast.  About halfway into eating my eggs and bacon...I get nauseous.  I remain nauseous off and on throughout the day.  Sunday, I skipped breakfast in the morning, but can only eat half of my sandwich...spend the next few hours feeling nauseous, but it finally passes.  I get home, eat leftover manicotti...and get nauseous...followed by a horrible tension headache if I tried to walk around.  I was moving a "new to us" couch, with a friend and she was afraid I was going to throw up...I was in a lot of pain.  Put the girls to bed early, I went to bed early.  Woke up fine....now I'm constipated (which is not usual for me, especially when it's time for AF to arrive).  It took a lot of self control to make up the dog's food (she eats a raw diet...I cut up liver, kidney, beef heart, lamb, pork and mix with some chicken back/wing sections.).  All I can stomach today is rice.  This is my crazy.  I must be crazy...

 

FWIW, this is not even typical of a pregnant me (6 pregnancies, never sick in the 1st trimester...no Book pain, except for the first, and not usually headaches -- my 1st trimesters were rather uneventful).  I haven't purchased a test.  I feel like I probably should, but I know as soon as I do, my cycle will start, and I'll just be the crazy middle-aged woman buying a pregnancy test for no reason.  I feel like I should at LEAST wait a few more days...just in case the CO helped better regulate my cycle back to 28 days :p  I just feel so silly.  I mean, who can I really talk to about any of this without coming across as a complete loon?  So...I can just be my loony self here, right?  I have been 10 days late before (high, high stress...getting ready to move here).  Assuming this is a stop-start kind of thing, and I'm not pregnant (which again, is what the odds are strongly in favor of), how much longer until I start?  My poor dh has been out of town, thinking I'm going to be about half-way through AF...and he's going to be awfully disappointed with the big nothing of the past few days.  Today would be 27 days from the start of my last cycle.  

[Onceuponatime]

LisaK, I don't have an IUD and I had symptoms very similar to yours around the same ages with the same transition to cycles closer together and "wretched PMS" (as in migraines with crying jags).  Fish oil helped decrease my PMS tremendously and it has been relatively mild for years.  Yesterday was day 14 of my cycle, and I woke up with a horrible headache and mild  nausea, I'm pretty sure it's hormonally induced. There are multiple hormonal shifts during a typical cycle. Multiple things can mess with them.

 

I got awful morning sickness when pregnant, but it never kicked in til about the time I was two weeks late. I would wait a few days to run out and get a pregnancy test, especially since you say you've been late before. (but that's just me) It may just be another change your body is going through. Totally understand the anxiety and the what-ifs.

 

You need to stop calling yourself a loon. ;)

[Guest]

Lisa, your post is very timely. This past month has been insane for me. AF finally started last night. In the past, I have never been more than perhaps three days late unless pregnant. This was nearly an entirely skipped month. Every hormonal effect you can imagine has plagued me in those intermittent 3+ weeks. I have had waves of nausea, cramps, backaches for days, headaches, night sweats, hot flashes. Throw in all the emotional elements - snappy, irritable, weepy, irrationally annoyed (i.e. " you chew SO loudly!") retreating, even OCD "nesting" hyper-cleanliness. *sigh* What a freakish month! I even had the constant need to empty my bladder that always indicated pregnancy in the past.

 

I took two tests during this time, but, like you, I kept putting it off. Didn't want to POAS only to start AF twelve hours later.

 

I am not sure what I'm going to do, but I cannot have this be "new normal."

 

ETA: I am 43 years old. That might help someone.

[PrincessMommy]

Lisa... Me!!

 

like Onceuponatime, your cycle sounds very similar to mine without the IUD.  My heavy was much heavier but the cycle kept creeping closer and closer.  I went on BCP to avoid a hysterectomy (my older sis & mom had one).  I pretty much hated every second of it except that my periods were light (I still had issues with breakthrough bleeding though).   Anyway, FF 10yrs and I finally said, "no more" to BCP.  My first few cycles was like the old - only much, much heavier....scary heavy... I was sad, I really didn't want to go back on BCP and I didn't want surgery.    Then BOOM...5 weeks and nothing.  I wondered if I should get a pregnancy test... I'm 50, so surely it couldn't be that.  Could it???  When I finally got TOM, it was heavy, heavy and 2 weeks long.   I kept wondering, "which was worse, the emotional effects of BCP or a two week heavy period with a 5  week break?"    This next month we started talking about menopause again here...I educated myself.  5 weeks again - to the day (yipeee), It started very heavy... I got some raspberry leaf tea and downed that the next day in the morning and evening.  It was like TOM almost stopped!!  The tea tastes barely okay (not nasty but not pleasant either)... but hey, if it's what helped those heavy periods to go away, I'm all for it.  I took raspberry leaf tea 2x per day for 2 days.  My period lasted about 4-5days.   

 

I'm starting progesterone cream this week and I'll see what the next month brings.. but I'm keeping the rasper Leaf tea just in case.

[Luckymama]

So now I'm wondering if I am having strange, atypical symptoms. I have taken up exercise for a couple years, started caring what I look like and have been really interested in sex. A lot. Maybe out of whack hormones? It would be just like me to be at the weird end of the bell curve. I put all that down to finally having no toddlers after 20 years but maybe it's hormones and will crash. This thread is getting bookmarked.

Uh, that would be me. For the past two years (the exercise part) and the past four years (the sex part).

 

I am 48. Perimenopause symptoms began six years ago with cycles getting shorter and breast tenderness for the first time ever. I had some anxiety attacks and some hot flashes.

 

I was also under a ton of stress for several years (my mom was diagnosed w ovarian cancer, died within 18 months, worried about my dad, he died suddenly 23 months after mom, I had to sell the house and settle the estate). I started exercising more regularly the month after the house sold...and I haven't had a hot flash or a panicky/anxious episode since then (2 years last month).

 

Coincidence? Was it all stress and not perimenopause? I don't know.

[PrincessMommy]

PrincessMommy, would you share the name brand of the tea you mentioned?

 

I got the Yogi brand from Whole Foods.  It's what they had and was only Red Raspberry leaf tea. I would have preferred loose leaf, but they don't sell it that way.  I steeped two bags in about 1.5-2cups of water for about 5-10 mins.  Then I poured it over ice with splenda and drank it all within about an hour each time.

 

[PrincessMommy]

Uh, that would be me. For the past two years (the exercise part) and the past four years (the sex part).

 

I am 48. Perimenopause symptoms began six years ago with cycles getting shorter and breast tenderness for the first time ever. I had some anxiety attacks and some hot flashes.

 

I was also under a ton of stress for several years (my mom was diagnosed w ovarian cancer, died within 18 months, worried about my dad, he died suddenly 23 months after mom, I had to sell the house and settle the estate). I started exercising more regularly the month after the house sold...and I haven't had a hot flash or a panicky/anxious episode since then (2 years last month).

 

Coincidence? Was it all stress and not perimenopause? I don't know.

 

I have a friend who was similar.  She said it was great!  She said she didn't have any of the a-typical symptoms... and she wore her husband out.  :laugh:

[Serenade]

I know. To be fair, to them at the time, $250 was a LOT of money. He took a third job to pay for it. But the point is, he could pay it and it was a reasonable amount. They were just crazy dirt poor.

I just put $250 in the inflation calculator for the year 1973 (that should be close to your mom's date per your stated age) and the equivalency is $1342. So yes, still a bit of money, but as you said, doable. I'm not sure what a hysterectomy costs today, but probably at least ten times more than that $1342 figure.

[PrincessMommy]

PrincessMommy, would you share the name brand of the tea you mentioned?

 

KINSA, if you end up trying it I'd love to know your experience.  As I said, I've only done it 1x so far, so that's not really enough to go by...but I'll definitely be doing it again next time TOM shows up.

[PrincessMommy]

I'm in the habit of taking 800-1000mg of ibuprofen (all at once) on my heaviest days in order to lighten the flow, and I'd like to get away from that habit. I'm not a pill-popper kind of a person, but I'm desperate for something to keep it under control. I might try the tea next cycle and see how it works.

 

For the record, I'm not advocating ibuprofen. Don't do as I do. I'm sure it's ripping up my stomach and liver!

 

I've been thinking about ibuprofen lately because my dd had minor surgery about a month ago.  She was told not to take any ibuprofen for 2weeks prior and 1 week after her surgery because it can cause bleeding.  It's made me wonder about myself and my girls, who take ibuprofen for heavy cramping during periods, and if it is contributing to the heaviness.

[Murphy101]

Lisa, your post is very timely. This past month has been insane for me. AF finally started last night. In the past, I have never been more than perhaps three days late unless pregnant. This was nearly an entirely skipped month. Every hormonal effect you can imagine has plagued me in those intermittent 3+ weeks. I have had waves of nausea, cramps, backaches for days, headaches, night sweats, hot flashes. Throw in all the emotional elements - snappy, irritable, weepy, irrationally annoyed (i.e. " you chew SO loudly!") retreating, even OCD "nesting" hyper-cleanliness. *sigh* What a freakish month! I even had the constant need to empty my bladder that always indicated pregnancy in the past.

I took two tests during this time, but, like you, I kept putting it off. Didn't want to POAS only to start AF twelve hours later.

I am not sure what I'm going to do, but I cannot have this be "new normal."

ETA: I am 43 years old. That might help someone.

This is me lately. Feeling basicly 3 months pregnant. Nausea, tired but can't really rest well enough to sleep well, back pain, breast tenderness, cranky as all get out, weepy, nesting inclinations (all I want to do is knit or paint a room!), freezing or sweating, pee all the live long day, and then my AF visits with a vengeance. And you want to guess what this does for libido? Yeah. No thanks.

 

I have lost a lot of weight via eating better and exercising, but the last 6 months or so it's been really really hard for me to dredge up the energy or desire to do it. I just want to sit in a quiet room and read, knit and watch tv, or redecorate a room or declutter something. That's about it. I don't want to chat in the phone with my friends much. And I've never minded company, but truth be told these days, I just am so not interested in drama and it seems everything is drama, so back to my knitting I go.

 

And there's a lot going on so I really don't have the option of retreating.

 

And I swear my dh is going through some kind of man-opause. And normally I'd find that interesting, concerning, and maybe funny, but these days it's really pissing me off.

 

So someone remind me why it'd be stupid to get pregnant again bc so far I'm thinking all that crap for the next however many years could use 9month "break" somewhere in there. And more rewarding at the end.

 

Of course then I contemplate having another unmedicated cesarean or dislocating my hip and fracturing my pelvis with a vag delivery and think I'm going insane. But then again those are some really exceptionally cute and smart kiddos and were sure worth it....

 

Where's the smiley dude going crazy in circles?

[Murphy101]

And I'm not giving up coffee. Y'all can pry my French press and mug out of my cold dead hands. It's for everyone's own good here.

[LisaKinVA]

 

So someone remind me why it'd be stupid to get pregnant again bc so far I'm thinking all that crap for the next however many years could use 9month "break" somewhere in there. And more rewarding at the end.

 

 

 

The *only* time I've ever gotten a break was during those 9 months...because my cycle always started back up again right away.  So I feel this one part very much!  But, my pregnancies and deliveries were all pretty uneventful.  My dh is bringing home a test.  I'll probably use it tomorrow a.m. if nothing starts moving forward, and then just give it another week after that.  I was able to eat more normally tonight.  Still having some food aversions, but I'm sure I'll get over it. 

[Guest]

And I swear my dh is going through some kind of man-opause. And normally I'd find that interesting, concerning, and maybe funny, but these days it's really pissing me off.

I hear ya. This is why I started the S/o about marriage and menopause.

[sunflowerlady]

Man-opause. Yep. I have said for a while that men really do seem to get hormonal in some ways.

 

As for us , well, my dh seems to be slowly turning into his father. I am not sure I will be able to handle that.

[Guest]

Man-opause. Yep. I have said for a while that men really do seem to get hormonal in some ways.

 

As for us , well, my dh seems to be slowly turning into his father. I am not sure I will be able to handle that.

Ha! I told dh, "You are turning into your brother and, by the way, it's the brother I DON'T like!"

[Murphy101]

I hear ya. This is why I started the S/o about marriage and menopause.

 

Where is that?

 

Nm. Found it. Kinda scary over there. :o

[OhanaBee]

Man-opause. Yep. I have said for a while that men really do seem to get hormonal in some ways.

 

As for us , well, my dh seems to be slowly turning into his father. I am not sure I will be able to handle that.

 

This is happening at my house, too.  Dh has been going through his mid-life crisis since age 28 ["Next year I'll be 29 and that's ALMOST 30!!"].  I was tolerant.  But for the past few years.....yeah, not so much.

 

It's me-time now, buddy.

 

I'm 46.

[PrincessMommy]

Man-opause. Yep. I have said for a while that men really do seem to get hormonal in some ways.

 

As for us , well, my dh seems to be slowly turning into his father. I am not sure I will be able to handle that.

 

Ha!  I'm seeing that too.  Actually, what I'm seeing is some of both parents coming through - but not the good parts. 

[LisaKinVA]

As long as my dh doesn't turn into his mother, or my father...we'll be okay.

 

I haven't noticed my dh changing yet.  He's still adventurous, fun-loving, and secure.  If I were to tell him that we beat inconceivable odds and were having a baby, he'd laugh...and start figuring out how to make it work.  He doesn't make fun of me.  He's pretty supportive overall.  For my part, I'm attempting to do things differently than my mother, and hopefully my transition won't be as horrible as my mother's.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Still loving this thread. Can you imagine if we had a kitchen table and caffeine free drinks and sugar free snacks ( and coffee and Danish).

[flyingiguana]

My entire childhood I was told that menopause was the reason my mom was so mean to me.

 

Either menopause lasts into the 80's -- or that wasn't the reason.

 

And if it was the reason, I'm sure glad I didn't get that gene.

[Angie in VA]

My entire childhood I was told that menopause was the reason my mom was so mean to me.

 

Either menopause lasts into the 80's -- or that wasn't the reason.

 

And if it was the reason, I'm sure glad I didn't get that gene.

 

:grouphug:

 

Sorry, I had a relative tell me that his spouse was rude to me because of her blood sugar. Uh-huh. Aint buying it.

 

I don't think menopause or PMS or being tired or hungry is an excuse to sin. And I've had to apologize to people for my sins (usually telling them off, except for tough biker dude, he needed to be schooled!).

[Angie in VA]

Got my new theme song. I'd buy it and play it when I have my hot flashes, but I think everyone can tell when I'm having one. Little clues like fanning myself wildly, declaring, "I'm so hot!" and blasting the AC tip people off. Too bad it's not winter. I could just go outside!

 

[Pam in CT]

Great thread.

 

I'm 50.  Periods regular for the first time in my life (???!!  all right already, I'm 50, I'm so.done.with.this...).  Hot flashes, joint pain in hands and feet, headaches, dryness, frequent desire to run away from my (really rather lovely) husband and children and move to a hut on stilts in the mountains of Bali.

 

re the restorative properties in green and black teas...

Yes, and it's in black tea, as well.

You know how the cure for stess in England is to offer a cup of tea? Looks like it's not just a placebo.

Over on the BAW threads there's an ongoing conversation to the effect that the act of offering the tea itself is healing as well... the empathy, the signalling that we're not insane or alone in the world. This thread has some of that same effect!   (If shukriyya isn't suffering adverse effects at the moment, perhaps she can share one of her marvelous gifs of steaming tea pouring into a pretty floral bone china cup...  :001_wub:

 

 

And I'm not giving up coffee. Y'all can pry my French press and mug out of my cold dead hands. It's for everyone's own good here.

:iagree: My family understands that my coffee is something I actually do for them, not  for myself...

 

 

 

Got my new theme song. I'd buy it and play it when I have my hot flashes, but I think everyone can tell when I'm having one. Little clues like fanning myself wildly, declaring, "I'm so hot!" and blasting the AC tip people off. Too bad it's not winter. I could just go outside!

 

Angie's theme song for her own private summers

OK Angie, you've made my day.  Because my 11 year old really likes this song, and until just now I've found it rather... er, irritating.  But now I have a whole new frame!

 

 

[Angie in VA]

 

:iagree: My family understands that my coffee is something I actually do for them, not  for myself...

 

 

 

OK Angie, you've made my day.  Because my 11 year old really likes this song, and until just now I've found it rather... er, irritating.  But now I have a whole new frame!

 

I hear ya. That song just gets stuck in your head and you can't escape it, you know, like you can't get away from hot flashes. 

 

(((Pam)))

[Chelle in MO]

Got my new theme song. I'd buy it and play it when I have my hot flashes, but I think everyone can tell when I'm having one. Little clues like fanning myself wildly, declaring, "I'm so hot!" and blasting the AC tip people off. Too bad it's not winter. I could just go outside!

 

Angie's theme song for her own private summers

 

I couldn't get past the second line:  "Hotter then a fantasy"    :lol:

[Angie in VA]

I couldn't get past the second line:  "Hotter then a fantasy"    :lol:

 

Oh, horrors! Sorry, I always share links to songs w/ the lyrics so there won't be any offensive footage, but this is offensive. I didn't even watch it, just linked it. 

 

Forgive me?

[Chelle in MO]

Oh, horrors! Sorry, I always share links to songs w/ the lyrics so there won't be any offensive footage, but this is offensive. I didn't even watch it, just linked it. 

 

Forgive me?

 

Hmmm...I guess so...just this once!  

 

:D