Wwyd? Potty training

[Jennifer132]

I have two dd's that are two. One turned two in March, the other is older and will be three in August. The older of the two has CP (mild to moderate). Cognitively she is all there. She walks and can sit on the potty. I mention the cp because sometimes kids with cp can have issues with muscle control. They both like to get naked. I've had some issues with them taking off poopy diapers at naptime (they share a room), and making a mess. They both like the idea of the potty, but my younger two year old won't stay seated for more than a (literally) second and the older one sits a while but never goes. We have an 18 hour road trip coming up. I really can't decide whether to potty train now, wait or what. And I kind of feel like I don't know what I am doing anymore since it's been a while since I potty trained and my older two were easy. Wwyd? who would you start with and why and how would you go about it?

 

Oh, and I have a new baby coming in January. I want to be done by then with both or at the very least one. As a foster mom I've had three in diapers and it is a nightmare for me.

[Luanne]

I personally would wait in your situation.  I think that long a road trip would be difficult for that young of a child just trained. (that is even assuming you could train them before you go).  I know it will be more difficult with three in diapers, but in reality it is better to wait until they are actually read to train.... otherwise you are just going to frustrate both yourself and them.

[bolt.]

I would wait until after the road trip -- early potty training involves a lot of suddenly needing to get them on to a potty that instant.

 

Afterwards, I'd give it a good solid effort with the older one (and let the younger be interested, or not -- unless it's just easier to do the same things with both at the same time).

 

There are a ton of methods. Probably because kids have different personalities. Try to think about what suits them, and try the most promising ideas.

 

Note: potty training advice provided by diaper companies is unlikely to be unbiased. It's more likely to benefit their bottom line than you or your kids. (Your results may vary from mine, of course.)

[Jennifer132]

I personally would wait in your situation. I think that long a road trip would be difficult for that young of a child just trained. (that is even assuming you could train them before you go). I know it will be more difficult with three in diapers, but in reality it is better to wait until they are actually read to train.... otherwise you are just going to frustrate both yourself and them.

Sincere question--what does it mean to be ready to train? My younger two were younger two year olds when they trained. I took the diapers away and within a few days they we're in undies full time. They didn't show any real signs of knowing what training was. I thought taking off dirty diapers and being interested in sitting we're signs? They are doing tht for the most part (though one doesn't sit long). The road trip is on Aug 8th.

[Farrar]

I had also heard that taking off the dirty diapers was a sign.  In retrospect, it was not a sign for my twins and I should have just waited.  They weren't ready.  I just ended up wasting a bunch of time on trying.  And then, when taking away the diapers and rolling up the rugs and trying to do a chart and so on and so forth didn't work, I finally had to give up.  And then they just magically did it practically on their own several months later.

 

I guess in my very limited experience, if it isn't easy, they weren't ready.  It sounds like, with one of them not even willing to sit on the potty, they're not ready.

[NoseInABook]

I wouldn't do it with a long trip coming up. Honestly, most of my kids had it click when they were almost 3. I might offer underwear younger but I don't expect mine to be potty trained until close to 3. My 4th is coming up on that and little does he know... he is going underwear only in two weeks. Mwahaaha.

[Ausmumof3]

I'd wait till after the road trip. In my experience you can train from birth or 18 months or 2 or 2 and a half but it's not till age three that they're pretty much reliable. Before that it's a lot of prompting, reminding and occasional messes. Actually a lot of kids that were trained earlier seem to need mums help for longer.

 

Readiness is supposed to be when they are telling you or indicating they are wet or dirty and going more than a couple of hours at a time dry. I have one who is pretty much ready but it's winter here and I can't deal with extra washing (line dry only) so we are waiting a couple of months.

[kbutton]

I would wait until after the road trip. My older one showed big signs of readiness and things didn't fly (turns out he has some issues with black and white/rigid thinking, etc. that were the problem). My younger one didn't show a lot of readiness, but he was interested in the potty when the idea crossed his mind. We moved the baby potty to the kitchen to see if it would cross him mind more often, and then he basically trained himself. As long as he saw the potty to remind him, he'd go, and then he got into the habit. He regressed a bit when I hurt my back and my MIL had to come help out. Otherwise, he just established his own habit over a couple of months.

 

When you get back from your trip, I'd try to foster awareness and see what kind of response you get. It sounds like you have a good chance with 2 of the 3, and the third one might decide to join in if it goes well.

[MiMi 4under3]

For the sake of consistency, I'd wait until after the road trip.

[Aiden]

I'd wait. We started sort of trying to potty train my daughter shortly after she turned 2, but she just wasn't interested in sitting on the potty. So we left it out, and occasionally asked her if she wanted to sit on it, but she didn't. And then we had a stretch where we were traveling for 3 weeks, then just a few months after that moving--so we stopped asking at all, as we knew that would not be a good time. She decided on her own that she was interested shortly after she turned 3. She tried to change her mind, but we bribed her with the promise of Minnie Mouse underpants if she proved she could keep them clean and dry. That's what eventually did the trick ... Minnie Mouse underpants.

[blondeviolin]

I'd wait too. My older two were trained around 3. I had a fluke in my number three. She trained herself at 15mos. It was mostly a pain because she did alert me before she had to go, but when she did have to go it was Right Then and an Emergency. My number four is newly three and still wears a diaper. We just moved so it wasn't worth it before. We are now working on awareness and being willing to go potty when Mommy says so.

[Ottakee]

I have 3 with mild CP.  My oldest came to me potty trained, the younger 2 I did myself.

 

One of mild had just mild CP but the connections just weren't there from bladder to brain and back to bladder until she was 4 1/2.  She would sit and sit and sit but NOTHING ever happened.  We saw a urologist at age 4 or so as mentally she was ready but nothing was happening.  he did a few very simple tests (like ultrasound, etc) and said that she was just not ready but when she was, it would happen.  One day driving on a vacation she was dry for a 3 hour stretch so we put her on the potty and she WENT.  That week of vacation she did quite well and soon after we were home she was trained day and night.  When it clicked, it clicked.

 

If the 3 year old is your foster or has Medicaid, I would ask about the insurance paying for diapers.  They would pay for diapers, wipes and then pull ups for a child over age 3 with a MEDICAL condition that limited their toileting.  CP certainly counts.  They would send me the sizes I needed by UPS and it was WONDERFUL and a huge saving in those not potty trained years.

[ThisIsTheDay]

We have an 18 hour road trip coming up. I really can't decide whether to potty train now, wait or what. And I kind of feel like I don't know what I am doing anymore since it's been a while since I potty trained and my older two were easy. Wwyd? who would you start with and why and how would you go about it?

 

Oh, and I have a new baby coming in January. I want to be done by then with both or at the very least one. As a foster mom I've had three in diapers and it is a nightmare for me.

 

WW*I*D?  I would wait on both.  I was lazy with mine, but the nice thing about waiting until they were almost three was that it was FAST.  I never had to do the public bathroom tour of our metro area. 

 

Because you don't know if your older will have any difficulties, I'd go ahead and start with that one but wait until after the road trip.  It may motivate the younger one, otherwise, I'd just wait another year for the second.

 

But my two were almost four years apart, so I did have the time to be lazy.

[SKL]

I would switch to pull-ups (if you haven't already) and continue on now and through your trip.  Who knows, the different bathrooms might fascinate and motivate them.  :P  If not, no big deal.  What is there to lose?  I believe most kids are "ready" a lot younger than the modern US "wisdom" suggests.  The real question is whether the parents are "ready" to commit to the long haul (without having too many grown-up tantrums when things don't go according to plan). 

 

Are you willing to commit to taking them to the public restrooms frequently enough that they can be successful if they try?

[Storygirl]

I had three in diapers simultaneously. Not fun, but not the end of the world, either. I wouldn't potty train them before the trip. In my family, diapers were unpleasant to deal with, but if someone needed to be changed, it could usually wait a bit until I could get to it. With potty training, there was no waiting possible -- we had to be ready to visit the bathroom at any time on very little notice. They couldn't wait. Car trips were an issue, even just the few hours between my house and my parents'. We had to stop the car on the side of the interstate so that DH could take DS into the brush during one trip -- that was an experience that DH still doesn't like to think about.

 

I decided that having kids in diapers was okay, and having them fully potty trained was great, but the potty training period (which ranged from one weekend for one son to several months for another), left me frazzled. It's the unpredictability of the child and the necessity of being close to a bathroom at all times that made the training challenging. This would be hard to manage on a road trip.

[Jennifer132]

I have 3 with mild CP. My oldest came to me potty trained, the younger 2 I did myself.

 

One of mild had just mild CP but the connections just weren't there from bladder to brain and back to bladder until she was 4 1/2. She would sit and sit and sit but NOTHING ever happened. We saw a urologist at age 4 or so as mentally she was ready but nothing was happening. he did a few very simple tests (like ultrasound, etc) and said that she was just not ready but when she was, it would happen. One day driving on a vacation she was dry for a 3 hour stretch so we put her on the potty and she WENT. That week of vacation she did quite well and soon after we were home she was trained day and night. When it clicked, it clicked.

 

If the 3 year old is your foster or has Medicaid, I would ask about the insurance paying for diapers. They would pay for diapers, wipes and then pull ups for a child over age 3 with a MEDICAL condition that limited their toileting. CP certainly counts. They would send me the sizes I needed by UPS and it was WONDERFUL and a huge saving in those not potty trained years.

She is adopted now (from foster care). She is on Medicaid. I had not heard of them providing diapers. How would I find out about that?

[Ottakee]

You can call the number on the back of her Medicaid card and ask about incontinence supplies.  You will need a prescription from your doctor but all that has to say is incontinence supplies with a DX of CP.  That should work for you..........at least it does in Michigan.

 

She is adopted now (from foster care). She is on Medicaid. I had not heard of them providing diapers. How would I find out about that?

 

[Paige]

I've had 3 in diapers as well. It's a lot easier than having 3 peeing on the floor! I would wait until after the road trip and I would do one child at a time. 

 

For the one with CP, if she has any kind of braces or casts, I would do my best to train from pull ups instead of straight into underwear. It's not ideal, but speaking from experience, you don't want those AFOs getting yuck on them. Keeping those clean would be my number 1 priority. My DD has very mild CP and she was actually much easier to potty train than her twin without CP. You really can't know if it will affect her bladder control or ability to feel until she's older and you either have problems or don't. 

[trinchick]

My DS who is 3 years 9 months JUST trained. He is bright, no health issues, etc., but he just wasn't ready physically. He was willing to try training and would sit on the potty for ages and not a drop would come out. We had some luck leaving him naked from the waist down but it was sporadic and then it felt inconsistent to put him in a diaper to take him out or to go to bed.

 

My mother was on my case about training him but I didn't think it was a big deal. I think that nagging/pushing too hard just makes it into a battle that there was no way I was going to win. I cannot MAKE the pee come out. Only he can, and it's as simple as that.

 

About 6 weeks ago he got up one morning and said, "I think I'll wear underpants today." He hasn't had a diaper on again since and has had only one accident, which was diarrhea (ugh) so not something he could control. He hasn't even wet the bed. I had promised him a Lego kit when he trained. We waited a week, he got his kit, and now we're done.

 

Long way of saying, I think you shouldn't push the issue. It's just frustrating for both you and the kids.

[Trish]

If you take them out of their routine while in the potty training process, they tend to regress when they get back anyway.

 

So I'd wait.

[Melissa in Australia]

I would do them now.

 I toilet trained all of mine before 2 ( very close to 2). As do most of the people I know ( usually the summer of the child being at or close to 2). Most people here toilet train their child in the summer- it is so much easier to get all the extra clothes dry in the summer and the children are wearing a lot less clothes.

 

  

[BlsdMama]

I'd wait. I am a fan of early potty training, 8 of my 9 that are currently in unders were in unders before 25 months. However, with one of those I should have waited until three and with our current three year old I should have waited until three. First, knowing you have an impending trip is going to impose an imaginary deadline and pressure. That's silly for all of you. Second, I've learned that sticking a child in underwear does not a potty trained child make. ;) Instead you end up with a not trained child, accidents, frustration, and tears, yours and theirs.

 

Readiness is staying dry... baby wakes up from nap out in the morning dry. They show an awareness for bowel movements before or as they are taking place. They can communicate, which doesn't need to be speaking but it helps.

 

I'd wait until October/ November. A easy child can be trained very quickly. My poor Liv , the three year old, has spent about four months in underwear at this point and we still deal with daily accidents. I'm not going back into diapers at this point but her training has involved a lot of mommy taking her and needing to remember to take her, not fun.