BigMamaBird Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 We were watching a program last night where a wedding was interrupted by someone objecting. Have you ever been to a wedding where the couple was at the altar and someone actually objected when asked? Does this ever happen! What does the Minister do at that point? What does anyone do at that point?!? If I was a guest I think I'd be so embarrassed for the couple I'd just curl up and hide!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 We have a friend this happened to. Well he was the priest. The brides mother had an objection. He quietly took her out of the room, listened to her, returned and proceeded with the wedding. I've always thought it was for a cowboy to ride in and announce the groom was already married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I've heard the words said many times, but never a complaint in the ceremony. My mother objected strongly a month before the ceremony and did everything she could to stop it. I half expected her to object and clued the preacher, but she didn't say anything. The preacher that married us always leaves that part out because he screens who he marries pretty carefully to make sure that the parties are truly free to marry and understand the commitment involved. So by the time the ceremony occurs, he figures that he's fulfilled his responsibility as a celebrant, and that asking publically at the ceremony for objections really doesn't apply today with adults who are legally responsible for their own decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabinfl Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Not verbally, but back in the day my grandmother wore black to my cousin's wedding to protest the fact that cousin was having a traditional wedding despite being pregnant already. I don't think anyone would have been surprised if she had said something at that point in the ceremony. Granny was really a very nice person, but not afraid to make her opinions known! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a27mom Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I've never been to a wedding where they even said, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." I've only seen that on TV. I have never heard it before either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 My uncle left it out of my cousin's wedding because she had invited two exes and he didn't want it to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I don't recall ever hearing that line IRL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I've heard it a few times. I've also heard complaining from plenty of ILs who didn't apparently hear the "or forever hold your peace" part..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasperstone Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 My own mother, on my wedding day, asked why I don't marry the groomsman instead! So glad I didn't take her advise, as twenty years later, he murdered someone in the most horrific manner! And hubby and I have been married now for 28 years with 4 children. My parents and my DH haven't spoken in over a decade. It didn't start on a good foundation! Sigh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I did wedding photography for a bunch of years...I only heard that once or twice in all the weddings we did. There were--way too often--family members--usually the bride's mom--acting like jerks. My two 'favorites'... I noticed two men standing at the back door of the small church. Later found out the mom of the bride had threatened to bust in and shoot them. Also learned later, she actually did drive around the church with a rifle propped up on the dash. West Texas so not an uncommon sight in those days. The couple had been dating six years. The second was truly sad. Mom of bride kept threatening to kill the groom if they ever came back. What was worse was all the excuses relatives made for that woman. There were a few dozen others where mom simply wouldn't smile in the photos or acted mean to everyone. In the long run, it only makes that person look horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 No, but I've been at a wedding where the groom didn't show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeepItGoing Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I have always understood that the reason for this practice was to give someone a chance to say that the bride or groom was already married or for some other reason unable to legally commit to a marriage (being underage, I suppose, or something like that). I don't think it was ever intended to give a chance to object to the choice of spouse that someone was making. I am surprised to hear that this phrase would ever be used in a wedding today. I would think that it would bring much more potential for harm than for good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 My folks are ministers. Years ago I asked them if they'd ever had an interruption during a ceremony and they both said that our ceremony doesn't have that line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I've never heard it. I can't even recall if I've even been to a wedding where those words were said. My DH has officiated weddings. ( And I just realized and had a laugh a second ago with him about how it seems he has done everything . He does bartend, he is the GED instructor at the CC, has subbed, does own a home business printing t-shirts and is ordained for weddings.) It's not at all uncommon among my friends to have a close friend officiate their wedding. My DH has officiated quite a few of our friends' weddings. We had a close friend officiate ours, and he's done others, a local friend's (on this forum) Dh is ordained, my BIL had a close friend officiate both of his weddings. Honestly I think I have been to a traditional church wedding with a pastor ...maybe 3 times. All the weddings I've been to have been officiated by close friends, and often the vows are written by the couple or are not traditional. So no, the "forever hold your peace" thing is something I never hear. If someone did interrupt a wedding and object I'm sure they would be looked down upon as the amazingly rude person they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forty-two Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 The pastor who officiated our wedding said that he doesn't include that line - too much potential for trouble. I can't recall if I've heard it at other weddings - if so, no one spoke up ;). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 It's in our Episcopal prayer book. The priest first asks the COUPLE if they know of any reason why they should not be married. DH asks, then waits. He really waits. LOL! Then he turns to the congregation and asks. But he doesn't seem to wait quite as long... :lol: Our couples (that dh marries) have to go thru several counseling session with him. They talk about $ issues, childhoods, Myers-Briggs, devotional life as a couple, children/sex, and marriage as a sacrament. By the time they are through, Dh pretty much knows them well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I was at a wedding where the girl sitting next to me (now my sil) stood up threw her jewelry that her ex boyfriend gave her (who was the groom) and stormed out of the church. She was 17 and had been dating that guy for three years, he cheated on her and married that girl - she was pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband ) was his best friend and in the wedding party. Wow was I uncomfortable. The couple that got married is still together 23 years later and just became grandparents. Sil is happily married, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 WikiHow: How to stop a wedding http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Wedding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 My own mother, on my wedding day, asked why I don't marry the groomsman instead! So glad I didn't take her advise, as twenty years later, he murdered someone in the most horrific manner! And hubby and I have been married now for 28 years with 4 children. My parents and my DH haven't spoken in over a decade. It didn't start on a good foundation! Sigh! Good Grief. After reading the first sentence, I thought she may have been joking but then I read the rest of your post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 WikiHow: How to stop a wedding http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Wedding You mean you shouldn't run in the back door, waving your arms and yelling "Stop this wedding!!!"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 WikiHow: How to stop a wedding http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Wedding Geez. There is a whole "how to" out there. I shouldn't be surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I was at a wedding where the girl sitting next to me (now my sil) stood up threw her jewelry that her ex boyfriend gave her (who was the groom) and stormed out of the church. She was 17 and had been dating that guy for three years, he cheated on her and married that girl - she was pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband ) was his best friend and in the wedding party. Wow was I uncomfortable. The couple that got married is still together 23 years later and just became grandparents. Sil is happily married, too! Wow. But nice to hear that it all worked out for everyone! You mean you shouldn't run in the back door, waving your arms and yelling "Stop this wedding!!!"? Or bang on the window and scream? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Wow. But nice to hear that it all worked out for everyone! Or bang on the window and scream? We were posting at the same time! Love that movie.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2OandE Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I did wedding photography for a bunch of years...I only heard that once or twice in all the weddings we did. There were--way too often--family members--usually the bride's mom--acting like jerks. My two 'favorites'... I noticed two men standing at the back door of the small church. Later found out the mom of the bride had threatened to bust in and shoot them. Also learned later, she actually did drive around the church with a rifle propped up on the dash. West Texas so not an uncommon sight in those days. The couple had been dating six years. The second was truly sad. Mom of bride kept threatening to kill the groom if they ever came back. What was worse was all the excuses relatives made for that woman. There were a few dozen others where mom simply wouldn't smile in the photos or acted mean to everyone. In the long run, it only makes that person look horrible. My MIL didn't smile in any photos. In fact, she actually scowled. It just makes her look bad as her behavior is forever documented in our wedding album. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I think it comes from the reading of the banns in the Anglican church. http://www.yourchurchwedding.org/youre-welcome/reading-of-banns.aspx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I always think of Jane Eyre. "There is an impediment!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Seen it once. The bride was from Germany and a relative arrived just after the ceremony started with the announcement that her ex husband had not signed the divorce papers in all the right spots so she was still legally married. Ooops! I've been to a wedding where the bride was a no show and one where she bride thought shewas being left at the altar, but her groom had actually been in a car accident on the way to the church. He was hurt but not badly so after the ER x rayed him and put his arm in a sling since everyone had been sent to the reception to eat and mingle, they said their vows at the reception before cutting the cake. I sat mute at my brother's wedding. I knew something about his soon to be wife that should have been a big huge, don't marry her red flag, but our relationship at the time was not one in which he was going to be receptive. He would have still gone through with the wedding so there was no point in saying anything and the marriage has been a disaster from day one. But, I don't regret the decision because he would not have changed his mind and would have cut me out of his life altogether. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I thought it was for cases in which someone knew the bride and groom were too closely related (even if they did not) or knew one of them was legally married to someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 One of dh's college friends spoke up at another friend's wedding (dh couldn't go, just heard about it after). It was just a personal objection that the couple didn't really know each other, maybe wasn't a good fit. I guess the pastor heard what he had to say, told him to sit down or leave, and the guy left, ceremony continued. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmtzc2009 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 My in laws stood a foot away from everyone in all the wedding day photos. While she didn't disrupt the service she did have a screaming fit at both dh & I the morning of the wedding. Basically expressing her dissatisfaction with us, the marriage and every choice we had made this far. We got married in Mexico & were spending the morning of the wedding in the pool. That is where she decided to let us have it. Quite the show for everyone poolside! She also didn't smile but managed to put on a decent fake half smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I think it comes from the reading of the banns in the Anglican church. http://www.yourchurchwedding.org/youre-welcome/reading-of-banns.aspx Yes, the banns are read--so the marriage ceremony is actually the fourth opportunity for someone to come forward or for the bride and groom to object to their own marriage. Here's the first part of the Book of Common Prayer service--you can see that, after the opportunity for objection, the Consent is given. Then later, the Vows. The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage At the time appointed, the persons to be married, with their witnesses, assemble in the church or some other appropriate place. During their entrance, a hymn, psalm, or anthem may be sung, or instrumental music may be played. Then the Celebrant, facing the people and the persons to be married, with the woman to the right and the man to the left, addresses the congregation and says Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people. The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God. Marriage 423 Into this holy union N.N.. and N.N.. now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace. Then the Celebrant says to the persons to be married I require and charge you both, here in the presence of God, that if either of you know any reason why you may not be united in marriage lawfully, and in accordance with God's Word, you do now confess it. The Declaration of Consent The Celebrant says to the woman N., will you have this man to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? The Woman answers I will. The Celebrant says to the man N., will you have this woman to be your wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live? The Man answers I will. 424 Marriage The Celebrant then addresses the congregation, saying Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage? People We will. If there is to be a presentation or a giving in marriage, it takes place at this time. See page 437. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 We had an older couple get married this past year in our church (Anglican) and our priest read the banns to announce their marriage, and then read it again the following two weeks. I had never seen it done before that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 We had ours read. It's really traditional--but I didn't hear them, because we got married in my parents' church and Dh and I didn't live there. And our priest's name was Fr. Angelica, fwiw! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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