Alicia64 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I just wanted to tell someone. We were raised by two incredibly narcissistic people -- wealth, standing in the community, travel, cars, promotions. . . that is what mattered to my parents. They were especially harsh to me -- the oldest. Sadly, my younger sister adapted their way of living. She's status conscious to the max. She once told me that she wouldn't wear any jewelry unless it were "real." Meaning real gold or silver. So not to bother sending anything that wasn't real. :lol: Well, today is her daughter's 13 year old birthday. I sent beautiful earrings, homemade cookies and a gorgeous card. But I haven't spoken w/ my sister in about four or five months. I'd had it with her and told that if she needed to get in touch to go through DH. Which she has a couple of times. (She'd called me out on homeschooling and I felt just "done" at that point.) Gosh, I just miss her so much I'm almost willing to put up with her abuse, snotty comments and caustic behavior. I write like I have a choice. She made it clear -- very clear -- that she didn't want me to visit her in her state. And there's no way she'll visit me in my state. She's under the impression that we're living like the Jeffersons (movin' on up) -- which we're not. It's just part of her jealousy problem to even think something like that. I'm sure she's better off than we are. If it matters. Anyway. . . I just wanted to share that I'm sad today that I can't be w/ my niece on her big teenage birthday. :crying: Thanks for listening. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: I'm sorry. I bet your niece loved your gift and loves that you were thinking of her on this special day. I hope that when she's older, you can have a wonderful relationship with her…and hopefully mend the one with your sister. Can you call your niece and sing "Happy Birthday" to her? My parents always call my kids on their birthdays and sing to them. We are all horrible singers in my family, and it's completely dorky, but it wouldn't be a birthday without it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I just wanted to tell someone. We were raised by two incredibly narcissistic people -- wealth, standing in the community, travel, cars, promotions. . . that is what mattered to my parents. They were especially harsh to me -- the oldest. Sadly, my younger sister adapted their way of living. She's status conscious to the max. She once told me that she wouldn't wear any jewelry unless it were "real." Meaning real gold or silver. So not to bother sending anything that wasn't real. :lol: Well, today is her daughter's 13 year old birthday. I sent beautiful earrings, homemade cookies and a gorgeous card. But I haven't spoken w/ my sister in about four or five months. I'd had it with her and told that if she needed to get in touch to go through DH. Which she has a couple of times. (She'd called me out on homeschooling and I felt just "done" at that point.) Gosh, I just miss her so much I'm almost willing to put up with her abuse, snotty comments and caustic behavior. I write like I have a choice. She made it clear -- very clear -- that she didn't want me to visit her in her state. And there's no way she'll visit me in my state. She's under the impression that we're living like the Jeffersons (movin' on up) -- which we're not. It's just part of her jealousy problem to even think something like that. I'm sure she's better off than we are. If it matters. Anyway. . . I just wanted to share that I'm sad today that I can't be w/ my niece on her big teenage birthday. :crying: Thanks for listening. Alley BTDT ..in some ways. Not really in the same, but, you grieve what you have lost. Then eventually, you will likely hear from her again, but you will keep things on a different playing field. Things will be different. But hopefully, you will have adjusted from the loss of what you wanted as a relationship with her, and what you can actually have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 BTDT ..in some ways. Not really in the same, but, you grieve what you have lost. Then eventually, you will likely hear from her again, but you will keep things on a different playing field. Things will be different. But hopefully, you will have adjusted from the loss of what you wanted as a relationship with her, and what you can actually have. Thank you. That's a really insightful point. A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin'sMom Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I'm sorry; that is just sad, and it's her loss, of course. You are thoughtful and loving, and heartbroken over the situation, which speaks to the kind of person you are. I am really sorry for her, and for your niece, who is probably getting the same lesson in what is "valuable." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I'm sorry. Just keep in touch with your niece, who may turn out like your sister, but she may also reject the values with which she is being raised. After all, you did. Hopefully as your niece grows older you can have a closer relationship and perhaps mend things with your sister too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 So sorry! Big hugs and best wishes. So glad that you are still trying to stay in contact with your niece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I'm sorry! I have an estranged brother and it hurts. Did you hear from your niece? I would call her also (if you feel comfortable doing so) and wish her a happy birthday. Families can be so hard. I hope that in time you will have peace about your relationship with your sister and can accept it as it is. I also hope you can have a better relationship with your niece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Alyssa* Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I'm sorry. I completely understand and can absolutely relate. It's hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: It's her loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle My Bell Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Life is short. Call her up and mend the relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I'm so sorry. You sound like a wonderful aunt. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 Life is short. Call her up and mend the relationship. I've tried this about 187 times. Eventually you have to know when to quit and put your energy in better places. A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.