Stress

[Jill- OK]

Okay, I'm looking for a little sympathy, I'll admit it up front.

 

1) Since the birth of my fifth child, I've had some "Lady Troubles" that required some investigative surgery some months ago, and my dr. said that they'd require regular ol' (read: more invasive) surgery to repair, but being the minimally invasive type that she is (and I greatly appreciate that), she suggested we just wait it out, because I wasn't having unmanageable pain/symptoms. I've had some success with nutritional-type approaches, and exercise, but...I believe I'm drawing near the point where that more invasive procedure is getting closer. Bleh.

 

2) My grandfather is in the hospital. I've mentioned before, in the threads about aging parents (my grandparents are more like parents to me; they helped raise me during early childhood and I lived with them from the age of 12 on) that he's not doing well, and "Not Doing Well" has devolved even more. I'm simply not ready for this. There's this "Please Don't Die, PawPaw!!!" vibe underlying my consciousness, almost constantly.

 

3) One of my best friends in the world took great offense at an ill-timed joke of mine (about a subject we've joked about before), and snapped at me. Swore, even. She sent a short apology by email a few days later (I apologized on the spot when it happened), I texted her a few days later...but she hasn't spoken to me, since, and I'm beginning to think she's not going to. To be honest, I can't get motivated to make another overture, because I know that part of her reaction was due to a stressful situation she's going through, with a family member that she doesn't feel she can stand up to (they were 'conversing' when this happened, and I was trying to lighten the mood). I feel like I've been the whipping boy, so to speak.

 

4) Two teenage nephews (and one of their girlfriends) are arriving at my house tonight, at an undisclosed time, to spend the night on their way elsewhere. Not a big deal, generally, but I am just. Not. In. The. Mood.

 

5) Next week, I'm taking one of my kids in to a psychologist for an evaluation. My normally stoic, just-wait-it-out, there's-nothing-really-wrong husband is the one who pushed for this, and my laid back (but thorough and conscientious) general practitioner agreed. Oddly enough, I'm not too concerned (the theory right now is Asperger's), probably because this is the child that my mom continues to tell me--over and over--is so much like I was, as a kid. And I'm okay. Right? RIGHT?!?! (In all seriousness, I believe this will be a good thing, and the hope is that we'll get some new tools for the toolbox that we've always used to deal with her...quirks.)

 

6) My marriage, as always, continues to be challenging. This isn't a slam on my husband, it's just a fact. I can't even begin to recount the whys and wherefores, but it just adds to all the pain of the abovementioned crap, you know?

 

Sorry, SWB, to take up your bandwidth with this whine, but I'm hoping that a few "Aww...Tomorrow Is Another Day"s will make the day seem less gloomy. I know I have many blessings, much to be thankful for...I just feel alone today. That's all.

[Mama Lynx]

:grouphug:

 

I'm sorry things are so rough. Are you doing what you can to be good to yourself?

[anissarobert]

Anyone having this bad of day, deserves a hug.

 

:grouphug: or two :grouphug::grouphug:

[dragons in the flower bed]

Holy moly, Jill, I was yearning for relief by item three. :grouphug: You have to be a very strong woman to be out of bed and posting. :grouphug:

[percytruffle]

Oh (((Jill))). Tomorrow is another day. When so many issues bombard us at once we grow weary. You are dealing with big things, many of them. I hope things look up for you soon, and I hope that tomorrow is a brighter day.:) Here's hoping that many of your days ahead are sunny.

[sleepy]

Oh, sweetie, that's a lot to be dealing with all at once. :grouphug:

I'm so sorry about your Paw-Paw. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Once]

Here's to hoping you see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. My only advice to you is to take it one day at a time and to be sure to look after yourself. It's not easy but it is essential.

[OnTheBrink]

Okay, I'm looking for a little sympathy, I'll admit it up front.

 

1) Since the birth of my fifth child, I've had some "Lady Troubles" that required some investigative surgery some months ago, and my dr. said that they'd require regular ol' (read: more invasive) surgery to repair, but being the minimally invasive type that she is (and I greatly appreciate that), she suggested we just wait it out, because I wasn't having unmanageable pain/symptoms. I've had some success with nutritional-type approaches, and exercise, but...I believe I'm drawing near the point where that more invasive procedure is getting closer. Bleh.

 

2) My grandfather is in the hospital. I've mentioned before, in the threads about aging parents (my grandparents are more like parents to me; they helped raise me during early childhood and I lived with them from the age of 12 on) that he's not doing well, and "Not Doing Well" has devolved even more. I'm simply not ready for this. There's this "Please Don't Die, PawPaw!!!" vibe underlying my consciousness, almost constantly.

 

3) One of my best friends in the world took great offense at an ill-timed joke of mine (about a subject we've joked about before), and snapped at me. Swore, even. She sent a short apology by email a few days later (I apologized on the spot when it happened), I texted her a few days later...but she hasn't spoken to me, since, and I'm beginning to think she's not going to. To be honest, I can't get motivated to make another overture, because I know that part of her reaction was due to a stressful situation she's going through, with a family member that she doesn't feel she can stand up to (they were 'conversing' when this happened, and I was trying to lighten the mood). I feel like I've been the whipping boy, so to speak.

 

4) Two teenage nephews (and one of their girlfriends) are arriving at my house tonight, at an undisclosed time, to spend the night on their way elsewhere. Not a big deal, generally, but I am just. Not. In. The. Mood.

 

5) Next week, I'm taking one of my kids in to a psychologist for an evaluation. My normally stoic, just-wait-it-out, there's-nothing-really-wrong husband is the one who pushed for this, and my laid back (but thorough and conscientious) general practitioner agreed. Oddly enough, I'm not too concerned (the theory right now is Asperger's), probably because this is the child that my mom continues to tell me--over and over--is so much like I was, as a kid. And I'm okay. Right? RIGHT?!?! (In all seriousness, I believe this will be a good thing, and the hope is that we'll get some new tools for the toolbox that we've always used to deal with her...quirks.)

 

6) My marriage, as always, continues to be challenging. This isn't a slam on my husband, it's just a fact. I can't even begin to recount the whys and wherefores, but it just adds to all the pain of the abovementioned crap, you know?

 

Sorry, SWB, to take up your bandwidth with this whine, but I'm hoping that a few "Aww...Tomorrow Is Another Day"s will make the day seem less gloomy. I know I have many blessings, much to be thankful for...I just feel alone today. That's all.

 

I'm sorry you're going through all this. :grouphug:

 

1) I'm all for nutritional/alternative solutions, but I'm very thankful for modern medicine when it's needed! Sounds like your doctor is respecting you as a person and isn't pushing for invasive surgery off the bat.

 

2) I know how you feel. My grandfather died when I was 10 and I feel that same pain in my chest from reading your post as I felt when he was sick. I can be reduced to tears even now, 31 years later, when I think about how much I miss my grandfather. What a blessing you got to have him into your adult years! God is good!

 

3) Hopefully, over time, and as your friend deals with her own stress, she'll realize that you didn't mean to hurt or offend her and fences can be mended. I'd let it lie for now, but maybe in a few weeks or so, you can text her again, just let her know you're still there.

 

4) If you provide some snacks, movies to watch and some games, they'll entertain themselves and not really require much of you. With teens, it's all about the food!

 

5) This is concerning, I know, but I think you'll feel so much better knowing some answers. It's the unknown that's scary and stressful.

 

6) I think all marriages are challenging because marriages are between two human people and human's don't naturally lean toward putting others first. You have a lot going on, so naturally, the everyday stuff in marriage is going to be more of a challenge. Keep remembering how much you love this man and you'll come through.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

Praying, Jill.

 

((((Jill)))).

 

I'm with you, sister.

 

Love,

 

Camy

[Jill- OK]

Thank you so much for the kind words...I didn't realize how much I needed them.

 

Yes, I'm trying to take care of myself....yes, it helps a little just to get all of it out, at once...and yes, I'm trying to take it all one day at a time.

 

But thanks for reminding me. I need to be reminded. And thanks for just saying, "Wow. That is a lot." LOL, sometimes it helps me to hear it, and I can go for quite a long while on that. ;-)

 

I forgot to put this in the OP, but if anyone has any funny movie suggestions, jokes, or YouTube clips that might make a girl laugh...I'm looking for some 'therapy'. ;)

 

Thanks again for the good thoughts/words...you guys are the best.

[Sparkle]

I'm sorry, Jill. It's extra hard when everything hits at once. Praying for more peaceful times ahead.

[Rich with Kids]

I will pray for you, Jill. When I'm in a place like this I take it an hour at a time. I set a timer on my computer and my watch if I am away from the computer (like that ever happens) set at the top of every hour. I stop and pray for strength and read a verse I found for the day. It helps. :grouphug:

[dragons in the flower bed]

I forgot to put this in the OP, but if anyone has any funny movie suggestions, jokes, or YouTube clips that might make a girl laugh...I'm looking for some 'therapy'. ;)

 

Well, it might a little obvious, but have you been to icanhazcheezburger lately?

 

[Colleen]

I'm sorry, friend. I have no advice or wisdom or even Super Positive things to say other than to nod my head in sympathy and understanding over several of your issues. Specifically #1 (I will likely face yet another surgery in the not-too-distant future); #2 (just the health issues with my dad); and of course, #6 (as we've discussed over the years).

 

You are loved and liked and appreciated and most definitely not alone, though I know at times it does feel that way. (((Jill)))

[Rich with Kids]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw2t4S4VXPo

I posted this link earlier. It's in very poor taste, but always makes me giggle. Like I said on the other post, don't watch it if you're easily offended.

[Jenny in Atl]

:grouphug: I think we are all feeling it right there along with you. :grouphug:

[Guest Katia]

Oh (((Jill))) you are dealing with a LOT of issues right now and most certainly deserve sympathy. Just the health issue alone sent me over the edge, I can't imagine how you are doing as well as you are with all the other issues.

 

Keep holding on and know we are here to listen when you need to vent or need more sympathy.

 

:grouphug:

[sdWTMer]

Oh Jill, I'm so very sorry. My dad, also PawPaw to grandchildren, is also going through some really tough challenging times. I hate it. He's in later stages of diabetes which is soooo hard and painful for him, much less to watch. Watching him lose limbs is not fun. I hear you on that part.

[Jill- OK]

On Monday, my wonderful stepmother came and got all of my kids, to take them to her house for a few hours. (Did I say how wonderful she is?)

 

I went out and got some lunch, went to the store, and came back prepared to enjoy some quiet.

 

I had three missed calls on my phone. All from her.

 

They had went to a video store, to get a movie, and my stepmom noticed that the front door (glass) was broken out. She asked a guy if they were open, he said, "Yeah! Come on in!", so they got their movie.

 

As they were preparing to leave, my six-year-old stepped ahead of her, and, not realizing that there wasn't any glass, went to push open the door. My stepmom couldn't stop her fast enough, and she fell through.

 

There was still jagged glass on the bottom.

 

6yo had one small cut on her hand, bruises and scrapes, and one cut that required seven stitches, on her calf.

 

I'm very, VERY grateful it wasn't anything worse, but...emergency room visits don't bring the ol' stress level down, much.

 

But again...grateful she's okay. Grateful we have access to medical care, grateful we have insurance...lots to be grateful for.

[TravelingChris]

Sometimes posting makes me feel better so I hope it does the same for you. I hope it is okay that I'll pray for you.

[Jill- OK]

I hope it is okay that I'll pray for you.

 

Thank you, very much.

[Mamagistra]

Much love and prayerful :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

All else I can offer is laughter, and your reference to Lady Troubles took me right to this, specifically at 2:55. :lol::lol:

 

Oh, and :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Denise in IN]

:grouphug: That's an awful lot of stressful stuff to have rolling around in your brain! Prayers for you.

[Robin in Tx]

((Jill))

 

Bless your heart!! All that at once? Man...

 

I am so sorry about your paw paw. All I can do is offer you a big ol' hug, because no words in the world can help at a time like this. I'll be praying for your paw paw and for you, too.

 

As far as your friend goes, how about sending her a thoughtful card in the mail, and just express how unconditional your love is for her. You know, if being her whipping boy right now is what she needs, then so be it. Be her whipping boy. Do it with grace and wait for the storm to subside. Your friendship will be all the stronger afterwards. I had a "friendship killer" episode once with my best friend, but we got beyond that, and when my dad died she is the one who rushed out of the crowd to stand by me next to the casket, to physically prop me up. Best friends are worth the effort. And friendships usually aren't 50/50 all the time. You gotta take turns at the work... that's how you know who your real friends are. They take the turn when its theirs.

 

The nephews are the easiest... they'll be gone tomorrow so yeah... in that case, tommorrow will be a brand new day!! Whew, won't you be glad?

 

Just came back from strings camp with a family whose Asperger's son is the top cellist at the camp. The girls were all over him. The boy has a very normal life, and will be studying statistics in college next year. You don't strike me as the type to want your children to be perfect... just to have the best opportunities for a good life... and I know you will approach it from that angle - how to provide for the best possible future. God gave you this child for a reason, Jill. It's because you can do something for this child that no one else can. Whatever the outcome of your doctor's visit, I know that YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Becuase you love your kid. When is the doctor's appointment? Let us know so we can be praying for you.

 

You need peace, sweetie. I will pray for your peace and for the protection of your marriage throughout this.

 

Love,

Robin

[Jill- OK]

All else I can offer is laughter, and your reference to Lady Troubles took me right to this, specifically at 2:55. :lol::lol:

 

Maybe I should start pausing before I answer the phone each time and say, "I hope this isn't some sort of liar."

 

LOL!

 

Thanks.

 

(And thanks for reminding me that Lady Troubles can be used as an excuse! To get out of things! ::Slaps forehead::)

[Mamagistra]

You might need this, too.

 

[Mamagistra]

And maybe this:

 

[Jill- OK]

Best friends are worth the effort. And friendships usually aren't 50/50 all the time.

 

I think I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the other stuff, and that's clouding my desire to give my all...but I know this friendship will bounce back.

 

Thanks for the wisdom.

[Mommy22alyns]

Hugs to you. :grouphug:

[Robin in Tx]

I think I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the other stuff, and that's clouding my desire to give my all...but I know this friendship will bounce back.

 

 

I know that you know all that stuff I said... sometimes it just helps to hear it from someone else... an encouragement to keep on.

 

It's a shame, though, that this is happening at the same time, because it sounds like you could sure stand to be on the 20% side of the relationship right now. I'm sorry that things are strained such that you don't have her there right now. I'm sure it would be invaluable to have your best friend propping you up right now.

 

Okay, now I'm wondering if there's any way I can get to Oklahoma in the next week or two! I wonder if Mamagistra would be interested in going on an extended field trip with me :).

 

Here's the next best thing to a real life bear hug - (((((JILL))))

[Mamagistra]

I wonder if Mamagistra would be interested in going on an extended field trip with me :)

 

We'd be a veritable caravan of encouragement, laughter, and chocolate, would we not? :D

 

:auto:

[Amy loves Bud]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Sorry things are piling up right now. You've got my prayers, Jill.

[Robin in Tx]

Okay, I just reread that post and want to say that I do know to compose a sentence without the words "right now" in it! LOL

[Colleen]

I forgot to put this in the OP, but if anyone has any funny movie suggestions, jokes, or YouTube clips that might make a girl laugh...I'm looking for some 'therapy'. ;)

 

Christopher Guest and Ricky Gervais are primo laugh therapy. A shot of either one of them via You Tube and I'm good to go. You can't not laugh when you watch Ricky G. as David Brent in "The Office". Like in this scene:

 

 

Or maybe you prefer the We Met in Starbucks scene from "Best in Show":

 

 

And don't forget the faux-80s video I recently mentioned here ~ POP! Goes My Heart from "Music & Lyrics":

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0A7dtdc-nU

 

I swear I've watched that thing a couple of hundred times and from the very first second I'm LMAO.:D

[Chris in CA]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Elaine]

Okay, I'm looking for a little sympathy, I'll admit it up front.

 

1) Since the birth of my fifth child, I've had some "Lady Troubles" that required some investigative surgery some months ago, and my dr. said that they'd require regular ol' (read: more invasive) surgery to repair, but being the minimally invasive type that she is (and I greatly appreciate that), she suggested we just wait it out, because I wasn't having unmanageable pain/symptoms. I've had some success with nutritional-type approaches, and exercise, but...I believe I'm drawing near the point where that more invasive procedure is getting closer. Bleh.

 

2) My grandfather is in the hospital. I've mentioned before, in the threads about aging parents (my grandparents are more like parents to me; they helped raise me during early childhood and I lived with them from the age of 12 on) that he's not doing well, and "Not Doing Well" has devolved even more. I'm simply not ready for this. There's this "Please Don't Die, PawPaw!!!" vibe underlying my consciousness, almost constantly.

 

3) One of my best friends in the world took great offense at an ill-timed joke of mine (about a subject we've joked about before), and snapped at me. Swore, even. She sent a short apology by email a few days later (I apologized on the spot when it happened), I texted her a few days later...but she hasn't spoken to me, since, and I'm beginning to think she's not going to. To be honest, I can't get motivated to make another overture, because I know that part of her reaction was due to a stressful situation she's going through, with a family member that she doesn't feel she can stand up to (they were 'conversing' when this happened, and I was trying to lighten the mood). I feel like I've been the whipping boy, so to speak.

 

4) Two teenage nephews (and one of their girlfriends) are arriving at my house tonight, at an undisclosed time, to spend the night on their way elsewhere. Not a big deal, generally, but I am just. Not. In. The. Mood.

 

5) Next week, I'm taking one of my kids in to a psychologist for an evaluation. My normally stoic, just-wait-it-out, there's-nothing-really-wrong husband is the one who pushed for this, and my laid back (but thorough and conscientious) general practitioner agreed. Oddly enough, I'm not too concerned (the theory right now is Asperger's), probably because this is the child that my mom continues to tell me--over and over--is so much like I was, as a kid. And I'm okay. Right? RIGHT?!?! (In all seriousness, I believe this will be a good thing, and the hope is that we'll get some new tools for the toolbox that we've always used to deal with her...quirks.)

 

6) My marriage, as always, continues to be challenging. This isn't a slam on my husband, it's just a fact. I can't even begin to recount the whys and wherefores, but it just adds to all the pain of the abovementioned crap, you know?

 

Sorry, SWB, to take up your bandwidth with this whine, but I'm hoping that a few "Aww...Tomorrow Is Another Day"s will make the day seem less gloomy. I know I have many blessings, much to be thankful for...I just feel alone today. That's all.

 

Awww, Jill:grouphug:

 

I'm sorry for all of those things. I'm sorry that you are sad, sorry that there is so much stress, sorry that you have so much on you. Praying for you!

[JudoMom]

:grouphug: I'm sorry, Jill.

[sdWTMer]

I forgot to put this in the OP, but if anyone has any funny movie suggestions, jokes, or YouTube clips that might make a girl laugh...I'm looking for some 'therapy'. ;)

 

I would have to say Mother's Day by Barats and Bereta, gets me every. single. time! :D

 

:lol:

[gardenschooler]

I'm so sorry, Jill. That is way too much stress to hit you all at once. I especially hope you can get things worked out with your friend, because that just makes everything look so much worse, I know. :grouphug: But you are not alone, not by a long shot. We're here, imaginary or not.

[Mrs Mungo]

That is truly a lot to be going on in one's life. Holding you in my thoughts.:grouphug:

[Jill- OK]

We'd be a veritable caravan of encouragement, laughter, and chocolate, would we not? :D

 

:auto:

 

You know, you shouldn't joke about something like that...I just might hold you guys to it! :-)

[Jackie in AR]

I'm so sorry, Jill. That's an awful lot to have to deal with at one time.

 

I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

 

((Jill))

[Erica in PA]

Oh, Jill.. .I'm so sorry. :grouphug: I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but I am sure that the people in your life really do love you, and treasure you, because you are a wonderful, unique person-- and I can tell that even just from our online exchanges! I can't imagine how special you must be to your IRL loved ones.

 

Hang in there, and take care of yourself. Make sure to do things that are rewarding and rejuvenating for you. It's okay to put others on the mental backburner for a little while, if you need to. Usually we feel selfish for doing that, but there are times that to be the wife and mother we want to be, we have to care for ourselves for a little while.

 

And don't forget to bring all these things to the Lord. He loves you and cares for you more than anyone else, and He can rejuvenate you in ways that nothing else can.

 

Take care, friend! :grouphug:

 

Erica

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

No help, just hugs. Hang in there. Be good to yourself right now. Eat good food, take a pleasant walk, indulge in a massage or bubble bath.

 

:grouphug:

[Jill- OK]

I just want to thank everybody, again, for contributing to the "Cheer Jill Up" cause, yesterday. Your comments and kind words really, truly made a difference, and I'm so thankful for all of you.

 

I went to the hospital yesterday evening, and my grandfather looks soooo much better than he's looked in a while (after they got some fluid in him; he was so dehydrated that they couldn't even draw blood), that this visit has went from being a scary indicator that something is terribly wrong, to Exactly What He Needed. He gruffly muttered some things about how he's probably made my grandmother think he's angry, even though he ISN'T, he just gets FRUSTRATED, and he also called me 'hon'. (You'd have to know my grandfather. This level of vulnerability, for him, is like someone else sniveling and crying openly.)

 

Some of what's going on with him, at this moment, is explainable by the amounts of morphine he's having to take to manage his pain (advanced Rheumatoid Arthritis). They're doing more tests today, and hopefully considering new medication for him, and he just seems so much better. My grandmother has been great, too, insisting that no one stay overnight with her, lol (I think she's secretly relieved to be able to get some time alone, and some good sleep; my grandfather seldom sleeps more than a few hours anymore, because of the pain and these side effects).

 

And my friend emailed, in response to my text message from a few days ago. When I responded, and told her my grandfather was in the hospital...she called. The first time we've spoken since the "Incident". It wasn't mentioned, and we were both a little guarded...but it's okay. Praise God. (That was really one of the worst parts of this, thinking that I'd lost her friendship.)

 

The three teens arrived, complete with some minor car trouble, but they're already gone, on the last leg of their journey (to New Mexico). I don't think I was much of a hostess ("Here's some cereal and granola bars, if you're hungry"), lol, but my husband took them out to get something to eat when they got here, helped them resolve their car issues, and now they're on their way. (If you're the praying sort, supplications for three teens driving a long distance wouldn't be unappreciated. :tongue_smilie:)

 

So...we're whittling down the list. (Smiles weakly).

 

Thanks for the good thoughts, prayers, and YouTube links, lol.

[sleepy]

Oh, good. I'm so glad to hear that things are going a little better today. :grouphug:

Take care of yourself and have a great day!

[NevadaRabbit]

Sorry, SWB, to take up your bandwidth with this whine, but I'm hoping that a few "Aww...Tomorrow Is Another Day"s will make the day seem less gloomy. I know I have many blessings, much to be thankful for...I just feel alone today. That's all.

 

:grouphug: Sending hugs and prayers to you and yours, Jill. I'm glad to see things are looking up for PawPaw...the teens have come and gone...it's a new day...hang in there. You're not alone, promise!!

 

We who have such a great name must stand together and lean on one another. :D

[Jill- OK]

We who have such a great name must stand together and lean on one another. :D

 

At first I read this and thought, "Hmm...maybe she's a fellow Christian? She's talking about the name of Christ unifying us, perhaps?"

 

Then I saw that your first name is Jill, too.

 

ROFLOL! The great name of...Jill. :D

[Doran]

So...we're whittling down the list. (Smiles weakly).

 

Thanks for the good thoughts, prayers, and YouTube links, lol.

 

I've missed seeing you here, and I'm glad to know how things are in your life. I do understand how it is (who doesn't?) when life piles a bunch of doo in your world. It stinks! :D Thank goodness one or two of the major anxiety producing subjects has become a bit more manageable now. Just take one day at a time, knowing that you can almost always get through just one day, one foot in front of the other, breathing, doing your best to take care of yourself along the way. And, don't hesitate to come here for support any time.

[melmac]

:grouphug: and lots of sympathy.