lil' maids in a row Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I am an introvert. I feel most myself, most relaxed, most at peace when I am alone. Trouble is I am NEVER alone. Sometimes I read here and there that just taking 15 minutes of alone time should be enough to recharge. Is that true? At this moment I think I need about a month of alone time to recharge :laugh:. Seriously, a couple hours (long enough for me to have a few quiet minutes and then accomplish some project), really does help me feel better. But 15 minutes doesn't do much for me. Is 15 minutes enough time for you to feel refreshed and head back out into the fray? Am I just extra greedy in this regard? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I am an introvert. I feel most myself, most relaxed, most at peace when I am alone. Trouble is I am NEVER alone. Sometimes I read here and there that just taking 15 minutes of alone time should be enough to recharge. Is that true? At this moment I think I need about a month of alone time to recharge :laugh:. Seriously, a couple hours (long enough for me to have a few quiet minutes and then accomplish some project), really does help me feel better. But 15 minutes doesn't do much for me. Is 15 minutes enough time for you to feel refreshed and head back out into the fray? Am I just extra greedy in this regard? Hahaha, I thought you were talking about the Sacrament of confession. And I'd agree, I can go for much longer than fifteen minutes. I try to consolidate sins so as not to hold up the line! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Nope, that wouldn't do anything for me either. I try to get a couple hours a week but sometimes it's broken up. That is hands down the hardest/worst part about homeschooling, very little alone time and constant conversations/questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I wake up early enough to get at least an hour every morning to myself. I'd be happier with 2 hours, but sleep wins when we start hitting times before 6am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 15 minutes is better than nothing, and it does take the edge off, but a couple hours is what really re-sets me. That being said, that's not how my life works right now, unless both kiddos happen to take a two hour afternoon nap at the same time! Which does happen occasionally, but I can't count on it. I've sort of trained myself to get by on 20 minute breaks throughout the day when DH is able to take over for a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 That's why Quiet Time at my house is 90 minutes, and before DS was old enough to manage that, I did the grocery shopping by myself in the evenings. No, 15 minutes is not enough, although it's a good start outdoors in nice weather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Not at all!! I have enforced an hour at least of mom time a day for the last month and its changed my life! I feed the kids lunch, put my youngest down for a nap once he's done eating and put a movie in for them downstairs (most of the movies are older movies so they range from an hour to an hour and a half.) If the movie is on they may not talk to mom or even be in the same room as me unless it is an emergency!! They don't have to watch the movie and usually don't. It has helped with so much more then just giving me a break. The kids are getting along better because the first week was spent with them getting on each others nerves while playing, running upstairs to me to complain, and me pushing them out of the room simply saying "If the movie isn't over you may not talk to me go talk to your sibling." they now have a better idea of when one of them has pushed the other a little too far and they back off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I am feeling the same way. Harder thing, by the time I am done with dinner and the kids, dh comes along to spend time with me. I love them all but I am never at leisure alone. Running errands alone DOES NOT COUNT as alone time! And 15 minutes is definitely not long enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I am feeling the same way. Harder thing, by the time I am done with dinner and the kids, dh comes along to spend time with me. I love them all but I am never at leisure alone. Running errands alone DOES NOT COUNT as alone time! And 15 minutes is definitely not long enough. Running errands alone counts for me now, but I take my time. When my kids were younger, my husband agreed to watch the kids for an hour every evening after dinner and I locked myself in the bedroom. I also stay up late or wake up early and take very long showers to be alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Shoot, at this point, I could be like Grizzly Adams and live in the remote north without speaking to a soul for years. It''s my dream scenario... :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I need at least an hour and a half, to two hours every night after everyone is in bed, just to wind down enough to even think of going to sleep. Sometimes dh would take the kids camping for a weekend, and it wasn't enough. 15 minutes helps for a minute or two, but it's not enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoseInABook Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 No, 15 minutes is not usually enough time to recharge my batteries and come back out ready to join into family life. Granted, I have a lot of small children so that could skew my answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Fifteen minutes!?!? Ha ha ha! No. That wouldn't be enough for me. I am smack in the middle of introvert and extrovert. I tend to stay up two hours too late, ignoring DH and playing online as a way to get my "alone" time. It's really a bad way to do it. But then again, DH is an introvert, so he stays up two hours too late, ignoring me and playing online. Eh--it works for us. In fact, I have an unexpected 4 hours alone right now--the first in months and months--and I am savoring every minute. This evening, for the first time in my LIFE, I took a shower with the door to the bathroom open (open! didn't even care that the bathroom didn't heat up because all the steam got out) and then walked around the living room naked. Ooooo....so decadent. Can't do that when the family is at home. It was wonderful. I love my alone time when I feel safe that no one will walk in on me. I might do this "showering with the door open and walking around naked" thing more often when I get a chance at being alone. It felt so free. (My next time to be alone is in July when the kids go to Vacation Bible School.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Not at all. I'm very much an introvert and I end up staying up for an hour or two a night after everyone's gone to bed just so I can have alone time. I end up feeling exhausted in the morning, but it's worth it. My DH doesn't get it as he's very much an extrovert and thrives on being around people. Once my kids are old enough to understand "quiet time" and "leave mommy alone" I'm going to start instituting it during our day. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I'm pretty sure I'm an introvert too. I could go a whole day and it would feel real good. I'd take 15 minutes, but would rather have an afternoon. However, I never felt a need to be apart from my children. They all appear as extroverts but value their time as introverts, so we all really love being together but doing our own thing. (But not to give the wrong message -- we love doing things TOGETHER too! haha :) But we don't feel badly about all turning into ourselves for the second half of the evening.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Confession: I am sure that I will miss my children being at home with me when they are grown. However, I don't "fear" that time. I don't think it will be the "worst thing ever." I think I will be just fine. I kind of look forward to being alone doing stuff. Now that my kids are older that is the #1 thing that I love about having big kids. I can go out in the garden or barn and work for an hour or two and know they are okay doing other stuff. I can tell them to bug off for an hour or so while I write online. Those years when there were so many little people pulling on me to interact with them all the time were SO very very draining/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 15 minutes is NOTHING. DD goes to visit family in the summer, usually for 10 -14 days. DH works out of town in the summer, and is often gone during this time. I am usually in hog-heaven for at least the first week. I don't start missing anybody until after that. So, a week is my ideal time. DD is a social butterfly and loves-loves being around people, so I do my best to accommodate. I joke with DH that when DD is grown I won't come out of the house for probably the next three years. :) I do get a couple of hours now and then. It's like heaven...but not long enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I'm an extrovert, and 15 minutes would not be nearly enough. I need several hours. My kids are mostly older now, but I have an 8 year old who wants to be in 15 points of contact with me much of the time, all while leaning heavily, never being still and pointing out things on Minecraft every 15 seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Shoot, at this point, I could be like Grizzly Adams and live in the remote north without speaking to a soul for years. It''s my dream scenario... :o[/quote,] I am so there with you. I really wish I could do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElaineJ Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Hahaha, I thought you were talking about the Sacrament of confession. And I'd agree, I can go for much longer than fifteen minutes. I try to consolidate sins so as not to hold up the line! That's what I thought, too! :lol: OP, I feel the same way. I think you will find a lot of fellow introverts on this board. This is a primary challenge for me in homeschooling. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndOfOrdinary Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 In the unschooling movement they talk about "deschooling" where for a period of at least three weeks after removing the student from school they will probably be a mindless slug who only wants to eat junk and watch Netflix. I need de-homeschooling like this. Fifteen minutes is nowhere near enough. Grampie has taken the kid on a road trip for a week. Day 1, I did not remove my pajamas and I read for like two hours. Then I took a shower and did not have my the voice of my son babbling incessantly on about MineCraft from the other side of the shower curtain. My husband and I even went to drink adult beverages at a local Mexican restaurant instead of eating a sensible dinner. The entire day was gluttonous. By Day 2, I am done being a total slug and then tackle projects like the world is coming to an end. That first day, however, total recharge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil' maids in a row Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I feel so much better :o . Dh hates being alone. I will gather the kids and take them to the park for a couple hours on the weekend so dad can have some quiet time, and he hates it (I don't know why I keep doing this, I guess I just can't imagine anyone not liking it). He NEVER does the same for me (he can't imagine anyone wanting to be left alone). A year ago, after maybe having a total of 10 hours in my house to myself in 7 years of parenting, I came clean and told him I absolutely could not function another day unless he and the kids let me have the house to myself for a couple hours. He did and it was wonderful. He kept it up once a week, but it has been a crazy winter and I have not been alone in the house for 4 months :willy_nilly: . So I had a mini melt down yesterday and, God Bless the man, he gathered all the little hoodlums and took them to McDonald's for a couple hours. *Note to self - have more mini meltdowns! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil' maids in a row Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 And yes, I could happily spend several years living as Grizzly Adams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Hahaha, I thought you were talking about the Sacrament of confession. And I'd agree, I can go for much longer than fifteen minutes. I try to consolidate sins so as not to hold up the line! This is exactly what I thought as well, lol! And, no, 15 minutes isn't even close to long enough! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagira Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Ah, I understand where you are coming from. I was (am) an only child growing up with older parents (quiet house!) and now live in a tiled, vaulted-ceiling house with amplified acoustics with three children with strong attachment needs. Oldest DS10 is an intense child - he's exuberant, joyful, has a naturally louder voice, nonstop talking, imaginative, a dreamer. He demands verbal and emotional interaction. All day. He tends to dominate the household. DD6 is quiet, but demands physical closeness and needs softer emotional interaction. At night she can't sleep without being draped on me (Daddy could be a substitute). Third child, DD3, is busy all day, still nurses 4 times a day (usually long sessions), still night nurses and gosh, sometimes needs much-needed emotional attention from me. DH35 (lol) has tried to be stoic about it for years, but he's a romantic inside who needs plenty of physical contact and at least some attention. I'm drained. I dream of taking an entire weekend to myself in an undisclosed hotel when DD3 stops nursing. Just to be able to sleep on a bed by myself is an indulgence. And no, 15 minutes doesn't cut it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I often sit in my car or outside and read on my lunch break. It's quiet, and I don't have to listen to the constant hum of office chatter or talk to anyone. I don't need to have that alone time every day, but I definitely notice when I go too long without it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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