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When food is described as s*xy and explaining that to your children...


TheBugs
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My children (both 7) and I like to watch the show Chopped on the Food Network and a couple of times there has been an instance where a vegetable or a particular cut of meat was described as sexy. (To me this is very silly.)  I believe in monitoring the media my children are exposed to so we can avoid things that aren't age appropriate and I can discuss things with them that they have questions about. We're kind of on the moderately conservative end in that regard. So...how do I talk about a meal that is sexy? My son was asking me what it means? He knows that on a form when it asks sex, it asking if it is male or female, and I overheard him explaining this to his sister. And I know from the way my kids asked about the sexy food they kind of have an idea that it is a little embarrassing. I tried explaining that sexy can mean attractive, like if a husband wants a romantic kiss from his wife, he wants to look attractive to her, he might think he is looking sexy. (Which made them giggle and say eww) I don't know what to say....help

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My kids knew that sex was a way to make babies at seven, and they asked at some point what "sexy" meant. I said it was a grown up saying meaning that you found the other person attractive and wanted to make babies with him/her. I wanted to stress that it wasn't a kid word. In the food context, I'd talk about "better" adjectives such as luscious and say sexy was sort of an odd way to talk about food that is attractive and makes you want to eat it.

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A smartwater bottle my son was looking at had a frog saying that recycling was sexy. 

 

DS8:   "What does that mean?"

(he knows about sex)

 

Me: (thoughtful pause)  "It means the frog really wants to mate with you if you recycle this bottle."

 

DS8:    *eyebrows raise*  "That's weird."

 

Me: "I know."

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Good advice.....lol. I would not like that adjective to come out at snack time with friends. I did tell them it is a grown up word. And I agree with Mrs. Mungo that I should teach them some other adjectives to describe food. A lot of these responses made me laugh. :)

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In the food context, I'd talk about "better" adjectives such as luscious and say sexy was sort of an odd way to talk about food that is attractive and makes you want to eat it.

Good advice and would make a good writing exercise. we could design a menu and use adjectives to describe the food.
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A good time to discuss alternate definitions and how words can mean more than one thing.  Sexy can in some contexts just mean appealing and exciting, in a non sexual way.  Like saying government bonds aren't a very sexy investment option or that a political idea is sexy and new.  No one means that there are literally sexually exciting investment options or political strategies when they use the word that way. 

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The semantic range of the word "sexy" has gone well beyond its primary definition of "sexually appealing" -- it would be wiser, I think, to define it as it is currently in use, avoiding over-dramatic reactions to its original literal meaning.

 

It currently means anything that is strongly exciting or enticing -- with overtones (I think) of something that is smooth, sleek, shapely (such as cars) or fast technology with a good display, and I'm not sure what overtones with food -- Nicely plated? Brightly coloured? Juicy/saucy?

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The semantic range of the word "sexy" has gone well beyond its primary definition of "sexually appealing" -- it would be wiser, I think, to define it as it is currently in use, avoiding over-dramatic reactions to its original literal meaning.

 

It currently means anything that is strongly exciting or enticing -- with overtones (I think) of something that is smooth, sleek, shapely (such as cars) or fast technology with a good display, and I'm not sure what overtones with food -- Nicely plated? Brightly coloured? Juicy/saucy?

 

While this might be true and I tried that route, I will offer a cautionary tale of my six year old DD searching on sexy girl, because she thought it would have make-up and fashion stuff for girls like her….and instead got hardcore porn.

 

I would assume that searching for sexy food might end up with weird fetish stuff….eating food off of various body parts…etc.  So, I think one needs to have that discussion to a certain extent.  

 

Of course K9 and OpenDNS are great if you need them. :)

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A smartwater bottle my son was looking at had a frog saying that recycling was sexy. 

 

DS8:   "What does that mean?"

(he knows about sex)

 

Me: (thoughtful pause)  "It means the frog really wants to mate with you if you recycle this bottle."

 

DS8:    *eyebrows raise*  "That's weird."

 

Me: "I know."

 

:smilielol5:

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You have my heartfelt sympathy.

 

We were watching a Ken Burns documentary on Jazz this week. As part of the history of Jazz, reference was made to "houses of prostitution" and "wh*res." I was thankful that DS11 didn't ask me for clarification. 

 

 

 

Frustrating when otherwise awesome shows have this happen in them. No, I don't want to explain to my ten year olds what a prostitute is.

 

Alley

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A good time to discuss alternate definitions and how words can mean more than one thing.  Sexy can in some contexts just mean appealing and exciting, in a non sexual way.  Like saying government bonds aren't a very sexy investment option or that a political idea is sexy and new.  No one means that there are literally sexually exciting investment options or political strategies when they use the word that way. 

 

Good point.

 

I lived in Britain when there was an Iraq dossier that was either "sexed-up" or not "sexed-up." This was talked about constantly... So whenever I think of the word sexy I always think of the word dossier and I feel weird, uncomfortable feelings about my British heritage.

 

I don't think my children are at the age or development to understand how something could be literally sexually exciting anyway. I think they only understand the word as meaning attractive in a romantic way, but they don't know anything about the excitement part yet.  We talked about it and they understood that when someone described the food as sexy, they didn't have romantic feelings for it. 

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The semantic range of the word "sexy" has gone well beyond its primary definition of "sexually appealing" -- it would be wiser, I think, to define it as it is currently in use, avoiding over-dramatic reactions to its original literal meaning.

 

It currently means anything that is strongly exciting or enticing -- with overtones (I think) of something that is smooth, sleek, shapely (such as cars) or fast technology with a good display, and I'm not sure what overtones with food -- Nicely plated? Brightly coloured? Juicy/saucy?

 

 

  I understand what you are saying. But I really don't want my children describing a book report as sexy or saying that asparagus is a very sexy vegetable, at least out in public. 

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I would assume that searching for sexy food might end up with weird fetish stuff….eating food off of various body parts…etc.  So, I think one needs to have that discussion to a certain extent.  

 

 

That's another one of my fears. I am not ready to discuss that with my children. I think someone still needs to have that discussion with me. 

 

I told them that anything they want to search on the internet, we have to search together because there is a lot of stuff that is not for kids. It's hard to explain these things.

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I understand what you are saying. But I really don't want my children describing a book report as sexy or saying that asparagus is a very sexy vegetable, at least out in public.

I get that. I regularly explain about "words we don't use" so my kids are little -- so they would get it if I told them that it's not a very polite choice, and directed them to use other words instead.

 

However, I expect by the teen/tween years it will be a normal way for them to talk, since it's already a normal way for adults to talk. It's not considered edgy by the average person in my wider social context, even though its still something that isn't expected from little kids. In church subculture it's probably still a bit unusual among adults, but probably not for long.

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I put it in the same category as "stupid" or "shut up" -- words that people do use (grands & dad use stupid, British TV uses shut-up) but not words I want coming out of their mouths in polite situations. They know what it means, they know where it fits in language, and they know that it's not exactly a moral issue, but that I want them to speak well, using more polite words whenever possible.

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I have never looked at food I was going to eat and thought, "Wow, that looks sexy!"  :laugh:  If my kids asked me what that meant, I wouldn't hide the definition from them.  I'd tell them to grab a dictionary and look it up.  We'd use our Shurley English jingle for complete sentences and I'd ask them, "Now tell me, does that make sense with every word, word, word?  (No.)  Why not?"  Knowing my kids, we'd share some giggles at the silliness of describing food as sexy and start asking more silly questions to emphasize the point.

My kids have all heard me tell their Dad how sexy he looks to me and watching him blush afterwards.  I am a conservative, modest woman, but in the right context, I don't mind using the word around my kids.   They have never asked what the word means.  They can easily guess that given the context in how Mom and Dad use it, we are complimenting each other.  I have never heard my kids call anything sexy either.  The words we use to compliment their appearance are always the words they use to compliment the appearance of another thing (e.g. pretty, handsome...).  In my experience, my kids seem to have unconsciously picked up the difference of when to use those adjectives in the right context.  :001_smile:

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My kids asked me what sexy meant after reading the container of hair cream my daughter was using.

 

It currently means anything that is strongly exciting or enticing -- with overtones (I think) of something that is smooth, sleek, shapely (such as cars) or fast technology with a good display, and I'm not sure what overtones with food -- Nicely plated? Brightly coloured? Juicy/saucy?

Strangely enough, both things that are surprisingly rigid or those that wriggle around on the plate, although opposites, might fit the bill. 

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